How to not give up

One of the beauties of life is that we all see things differently. Each and everyone one us has a different way of handling problems and dealing with failures.

Some of us will see it through to the end and others will jump off the wagon as soon as it hits it’s first bump.

The way you handle failures and your ability to overcome obstacles will ultimately determine your success.

Here are 10 reasons to encourage you to never give up:

1. Everyone struggles at some point

Every success story is accompanied by some form of adversity or struggle. It makes even more sense when you hear the phrase “from rags-to-riches.” Don’t believe me? See for yourself:

  1. Laugh At Adversity (this site wouldn’t exist today if I wasn’t faced with adversity)
  2. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
  3. Lewis Howes
  4. Oprah Winfrey
  5. J.K. Rowling
  6. If those aren’t enough proof, here are 16 more .

Don’t give up because you’re struggling, instead refocus and keep pushing forward.

2. You haven’t tried everything

Setbacks and struggles are no fun. You have two options when you deal with a setback: give up or keep trying. When we struggle even after trying what we think is everything, it forces us to think outside of the box and to look for alternatives.

The hidden beauty of a setback is that it produces creativity and stretches us past our current abilities.

3. Past failures do not predict your future

As they say, “You live and you learn.” Failures are nothing more than a learning opportunity. In fact, I try not to use the word “failure” at all, because for every time you don’t achieve success at something, you learn a valuable lesson from it.

If something didn’t workout in the past, then learn from it, alter your path to success and don’t make the same mistake again.

4. It will get better

Nothing lasts forever. Your struggle is no different. If you stick to your goals and keep being persistent, your situation will change for the better. Always remember that with the right amount of hard work and determination things will turn around.

5. You’re alive

You were born for this. Scientists estimate the probability of you being born is 1 in 400 trillion. Yes, trillion with a T . Let that sink in for a moment. As long as you’re alive you have no excuses.

You were put on this earth for a reason. You were given this chance at life and you can do anything you put your mind to. You owe it to yourself to make the most of it.

6. You don’t want to regret it

You don’t want to give up now and in five years look back and say “I wish I didn’t give up.”

Earl Nightingale said it best with “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

When you reach your goal in five years, you won’t regret the time you put in now.

7. You’re closer than you think

Often the difference between success and failure is the last leg of the mile. We set goals, we work so hard, but after a while when we don’t see the results we’re expecting we decide to give up. This is the biggest mistake you can make.

So many people never reach success because they give up right before the finish line.

8. Don’t give up on your dreams

When you give up on your dreams, you give up on yourself. Every invention, idea, or success story started with a single person having a dream. The Wright Brothers , the first men to build and fly an airplane, were ridiculed when they tried to make flight a reality.

What if instead of proving the world wrong, which they did, they gave up on their dreams?

9. Prove others wrong

It would be wonderful if we lived in a world where everyone supported and believed in each other. Unfortunately, that’s not how the world works. The truth is you’re not always going to have the support you need.

People will try to talk you out of your goals. They will tell you it’s not possible, that it’s too risky, and that you’re wasting your time. Don’t listen to them.

Never let someone talk you out of working towards your dreams because they gave up on theirs.

10. If you give up, then what?

There is no better feeling in the world than the feeling of success, especially after you’ve overcome every obstacle through pure grit and determination. If you give up now, what’s that going to feel like? What are you going to do next?

I’ll tell you! Giving up will leave a bad taste in your mouth and you’ll be more likely to give up again in the future.

So instead of giving up the next time you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. If you’re not finding the success you want, just as with a setback, reevaluate your situation, think outside the box and find a way!

If these reasons aren’t enough to motivate you or you want more, here’s my guide to developing a never give up attitude.

How to not give up

Achieving a goal is a wildly exhilarating thing. If you’re flirting with the idea of giving up, you could be throwing away something wonderful―your best future.

There’s going to be anxiety about uncertainty and fear about failing, but push yourself to keep going. After all, you’ll never know how close you are to succeeding if you quit now.

To channel some positive momentum, keep these 15 motivating quotes at the top of your mind. And never give up.

1. Persist.

How to not give up

“Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.” ―James A. Michener

2. Have a winning mindset.

How to not give up

“Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” ―Vince Lombardi

3. Take the first step, then another.

How to not give up

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ―Nelson Mandela

4. Never stop trying.

How to not give up

“How long should you try? Until.” ―Jim Rohn

5. Keep at it.

How to not give up

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” ―Elbert Hubbard

6. Be unstoppable.

How to not give up

“You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up.” ―Babe Ruth

7. Remember your ‘why.’

How to not give up

“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” ―Winston Churchill

8. Keep yourself encouraged.

How to not give up

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ―Dale Carnegie

9. Remember it’s supposed to be hard.

How to not give up

“Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ―Harriet Beecher Stowe

10. Don’t feel sorry for yourself.

How to not give up

“You do what you can for as long as you can, and when you finally can’t, you do the next best thing. You back up but you don’t give up.” ―Chuck Yeager

11. Be strong.

How to not give up

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” ―Thomas Edison

12. Keep moving, no matter your pace.

How to not give up

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” ―Confucius

13. Rise up against the odds.

How to not give up

“If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds.” ―Jesse Jackson

14. Dig deep to keep yourself motivated.

How to not give up

“Survival can be summed up in three words―never give up. That’s the heart of it really. Just keep trying.” ―Bear Grylls

15. Be resilient. Bounce back.

How to not give up

“Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” ―Conrad Hilton

This article was co-authored by Sydney Axelrod. Sydney Axelrod is a certified life coach and the owner of Sydney Axelrod LLC, a life coaching business focused on professional and personal development. Through one-on-one coaching, digital courses, and group workshops, Sydney works with clients to discover their purpose, navigate life transitions, and set and accomplish goals. Sydney has over 1,000 hours of relevant coaching certifications and holds a BBA in Marketing and Finance from Emory University.

There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 98,007 times.

Everyone has moments when life seems too hard, moments when we feel like giving up is the only option. We think that, no matter how hard we try, we’ll never meet our goals and achieve our dreams. It’s easy to just throw in the towel. If you are feeling discouraged, however, there are ways that you can reset your priorities, refocus your ambitions, and stay motivated. Don’t give up before you’ve tried it.

How to not give up

Sydney Axelrod
Certified Life Coach Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.

  • Reframing works like this: Instead of thinking “I didn’t get the part in the play because I’m a terrible actor. I should just give up,” you take a more hopeful approach, like “I guess I wasn’t quite what the director had in mind. I’m going to ask him if he has any feedback about what I can work on.”
  • Even just replacing the thought “I can’t,” with “This may not work, but I’m going to try,” can have a positive impact. [3] X Research source
  • How to not give up

    How to not give up

    How to not give up

    Sydney Axelrod
    Certified Life Coach Expert Interview. 30 June 2020. Is it academic success? Your career? Fame and fortune? Setting goals that really mean something to you, that work with your values, will help you to stay motivated in the long-run.

    • Try to figure out what matters most to you. This could involve your upbringing and what your parents stressed, whether money, appearance, success, or education. It might also be reflected in what you do, for example, and whether you work in finance or for a non-profit organization.
    • Ask yourself what you want in life. Is it to get a good job, to feel a sense of fulfillment, or maybe to help people? [8] X Research source
    • Map out your goals in a hierarchy from most important to less important. Then, write down what values in life you think lie behind these goals. Namely, what is your motivation to achieve them?

    How to not give up

    How to not give up

    Sydney Axelrod
    Certified Life Coach Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.

  • Keep the list handy so that you can review your progress from time to time and check items off. Occasional review will remind you of your goals and also allow you to track your progress.
  • How to not give up

    “Live up to your potential, not down to other people’s expectations.”

    “Are you okay?” asked one of my editors.

    “Yeah,” I said. But I wasn’t.

    It was 11.30pm and I had just returned from a lengthy press conference where a major political announcement had just been made. My article was due in the next twenty minutes.

    A panic attack was quietly tightening its grip on me.

    Although I didn’t want to admit it, work was beginning to feel like Groundhog Day.

    I wanted to write, but in the fast-paced newsroom where I worked as a junior reporter close to fourteen hours a day, delving deep into subjects I was truly passionate about wasn’t something I was able to do.

    Every day was chase, report, repeat. I wanted so much more than that.

    But I refused to quit because I wasn’t a quitter, so I held on.

    Six months later and a year-and-a-half into my job, waking up and going to work was leaving me feeling inadequate and empty. Every assignment I got felt like a massive struggle.

    I was still adamant about not giving up, but I also knew that going on this way wasn’t a healthy option, so reluctantly, I chose to walk away from the newsroom.

    Giving up made me feel like a failure at the time, but now as I look back, I see my decision for what it was: my instincts telling me what was a good fit for me and what wasn’t, and me, honoring it.

    The one regret that I have is not realizing this and making the change sooner.

    What happened when I subsequently went after the things that really called to me?

    I looked forward to challenges, not dread them.

    I gave 150 percent and never gave up.

    If you constantly find yourself unable to finish what you start, jumping from one job, relationship, or diet to another without seeing progress, or feeling as if you’re a failure at everything you do, here are three things you need to do:

    Stop trying to fix yourself and forcing yourself to do things you don’t really want to do.

    Break the chain of moving from one thing to the next and trying to fit into a role that’s not right for you by taking some time out to figure out: What do you find meaningful and joyful, and how can you pursue that in your life instead of following your (or someone else’s) ‘shoulds’?

    What can you do to feel purposeful, in control, and good about yourself, and see results, rather than constantly feel exhausted, empty, and as if you need to be fixed?

    To get momentum going, try this simple exercise, which will help you get to the core of why you want something: Ask yourself “What do I want to accomplish?” When you’ve got the answer to this question, ask “Why?” Then, with whatever answer you come up with, ask why to that, and so on, five times.

    Not sure how to begin? Here’s how it worked for me when I was struggling with my weight:

    Q: What do you want to accomplish?
    A: I want to stop binge eating.

    Q: Why do you want to stop binge eating?
    A: Because I want to feel in control of my body.

    Q: Why do you want to feel in control of your body?
    A: So I can feel confident.

    Q: Why do you want to feel confident?
    A: So I can stop avoiding social situations and feeling self-conscious about being overweight.

    Q: Why do you want to stop avoiding social situations and feeling self-conscious about being overweight?
    A: Because I want to start living again.

    Q: Why do you want to start living again?
    A: So I can get the most out of my life without wasting time hating how I look and feel.

    This final answer put me in touch with a painful situation I never wanted to relive again. I wanted so much more out of life than that.

    Yours, like mine did, will serve as a compelling reason to put in the work needed to accomplish what you set out to do, in congruence with your deepest-held values. It’ll pull you up and forward, not down.

    Work with who you want to be—you’ll find yourself feeling whole instead of constantly struggling to connect the missing dots.

    Focus on things you can control instead of focusing on outcomes.

    There are a million things that are out of your control: the weather, natural disasters, what other people think of your presentation, and your colleague’s insensitive comment about your weight.

    There are, however, a million other things that you can control.

    These include the little habits you can nurture to help get you to where you want to be:

    Waking up thirty minutes earlier to plan your day, parking a little further to get your daily 10,000 steps in, making a beeline for your colleague’s desk for a stress-relieving chat instead of to the pantry (where the donuts are), or responding to emails at fixed times during your day so you can work more efficiently and leave the office at 5pm to be with your kids.

    Once a week, ask yourself: “How am I doing?”

    If something isn’t working, find out why and focus on doing what you can do to change the outcome. You’re the captain of your ship—chart your course, do your best to be equipped with the skills that will help you weather storms that come your way, and let go of the rest.

    Get out of the race—life’s not a competition.

    You know the grind: Go, go, go! Deadlines are close. Time is money. Got to keep up with the Joneses. The clock’s ticking. That promotion is up for grabs. The thinner you are, the more popular you’ll be.

    But what if this rush for bigger, better, faster, and thinner keeps leaving you burnt out, unhealthy, depressed, and frustrated?

    Consider tweaking your priorities: Wouldn’t digging deep, zeroing on your deepest desires, and taking careful, methodical steps toward them leave you feeling calmer, happier, in your best shape ever, and focused on what matters to you in the long run?

    The less you focus on competing with others, the more time you’ll have to spend on nurturing your own happiness and reaching your full potential.

    So guess what? It’s time you gave up giving up on yourself.

    If you’re ready to throw in the towel and walk away (again), what can you do to break this cycle to head in the right direction?

    How to not give up

    Aug 21, 2015 · 4 min read

    How to stick to something and not give up is a concept that is preached in hundreds of personal development seminars. Bookstores are filled with books on this idea of habit formation. Each offering different tools and strategies to forming new habits.

    However, have you ever noticed people come up with differe n t ways to develop new habits. This article your reading will introduce a “new” way of implementing habits into your life. What makes this strategy different is the mere fact it’s based on psychology and neuroscience. Willpower has nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, using will power is almost a sure way to lose because 90% of the population aren’t able to use willpower alone to overcome bad habits.

    How to stick to something and not give up is a way for you to transition safely and efficiently into new habits. The motivation will be self-reinforcing, meaning as you continue day by day, you’ll be motivated by the progress and will actually want to continue. You won’t need willpower. You won’t have to force yourself to get up and work on the new habit. This process is so natural and efficient; it’s almost surreal, and as I mentioned in the beginning, it’s close to 100 percent guaranteed. However, there is one caveat, the goal or habit has to be something you really want to change.

    So how can you form any habit you desire?

    The answer is simple baby steps. Yes, the key to developing new habits for a majority of the population is approaching it one step at a time. What do I mean? Science has shown whenever we start a new task or project; new neuronal connections are made in the brain. What happens with most people is they don’t stick with something long enough for the connections in the brain to stay connected. The build a new habit in 21-day myth has plagued our society for decades. Science says something entirely different. For connections in the brain to become active, it could take anywhere from 66 days to 6 months!

    There are a few people who can form habits in shorter times such as the 30-day rule, etc… However, the majority of us don’t have that ability. This concept is why this approach to habit formation is so powerful; you’ll be amazed at the results. Below are the steps needed to put this into action:

    1. Select a Habit

    2. Find a Way To Track Your Habit On a Daily Basis

    3. Start Very Small(Regardless of whether or not you feel you can do more)

    That’s it! — Let me give a practical example of a recent goal I’ve been able to turn into a habit.

    One of the objectives I decided to carry out was that of pushups. I could probably do close to about 20 pushups before I started to struggle. Once I selected a habit, I decided how I was going to track my progress by using an app on my smartphone. The third piece is critical because this is where the action is. What I did was ask myself, what number of pushups do I feel I could do consistently. I decided to start with 15 (even though I knew I could do closer to 20), and I did 15 consistently for about 3 to 4 weeks.

    After reviewing my progress through the app, I decided to bump it up to 25 and did this for about another three weeks. Reviewing my progress, I bumped it up again and did that amount for another three or four weeks.

    The key point to remember is, regardless of how many you think you can do, you stick with the number you decide. By doing this, you are creating neurons in the brain to make those connections stronger and psychologically, seeing your progress motivates you and you won’t want to miss a day. I remember the day after New Years; I was halfway through my habit formation process, and I was sick as a dog. I could barely move. However, as the day was approaching an end, I realized I hadn’t done my pushups. What did I do? I looked at how consistent I’ve been up to that point and so I rolled out of bed and proceeded to do my push ups.

    This process isn’t limited to physical activity. If you want to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Start small, eat one thing healthy every day. Don’t change what you’ve eaten just focus on and make sure you eat one healthy food each day. After a while, you’ll see the progress you’ve made through your tracking system and want to keep going and up the ante. Before you know it, you’ll have adopted a healthy lifestyle without the pressure, without having to use willpower or force.

    It’s a natural process anyone can carry out at any time.

    How to stick to something and not give up is a reality for each and every person. You reading this article now, have the power to create any habit you desire. It doesn’t have to be complicated, it doesn’t have to be hard and you won’t need willpower as your going through the process!

    How to not give up

    How to not give up

    How to not give up

    Jon Bloom

    I Lay My Life in Your Hands

    A Man Among Men

    When the Troubles of My Heart Are Enlarged

    Can I Follow My New Heart?

    When Doubt Eclipses Faith

    Devastating Mercy

    How to not give up

    Jon Bloom

    I Lay My Life in Your Hands

    A Man Among Men

    When the Troubles of My Heart Are Enlarged

    Can I Follow My New Heart?

    When Doubt Eclipses Faith

    Devastating Mercy

    Staff writer, desiringGod.org

    “Here is a call for the endurance of the saints” (Revelation 14:12).

    We all long for rest from the fatigue of living. God placed the desire for rest in our souls, and he promises to fulfill it: “I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish” (Jeremiah 31:25).

    The “Now” and “Not Yet” of Our Rest

    In a very real way, Jesus gives rest to “all who labor and are heavy laden” and come to him (Matthew 11:28). But in this age, we cannot find complete rest.

    “God will give you his grace in your time of need, and it will be sufficient for you, even in the very worst times.”

    In this age, Jesus grants us the gospel rest of ceasing the impossible labor of self-atonement for our sins (2 Corinthians 5:21). But in embracing the gospel, we find ourselves also drafted into a war — a war to keep believing the gospel and a war to keep spreading it to others. In this age we “strive to enter that [complete] rest” of the age to come (Hebrews 4:11).

    Wars are exhausting — especially long ones. That’s why you are often tired. Many soldiers, who experience the fierceness of combat, want to get out of it. That’s why you’re tempted to escape. That’s why you’re tempted to give up.

    Don’t Give Up

    But don’t give up. No, rather “take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded” (2 Chronicles 15:7).

    Don’t give up when that familiar sin, still crouching at your door after all these years, pounces again with temptation.

    No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

    Don’t give up when you feel that deep soul weariness from long battles with persistent weaknesses.

    “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

    Don’t give up when your long asked-and-sought-and-knocked-for prayers have not yet been answered.

    And he told them [the parable of the persistent widow] to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. (Luke 18:1)

    Don’t give up when the devil’s fiery darts of doubt find flesh and make you reel.

    Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day. . . . In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one. (Ephesians 6:13, 16)

    “Don’t give up when the field the Lord has assigned you to is hard and the harvest does not look promising.”

    Don’t give up when the fragmenting effect of multiple pressures seems relentless.

    But as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger . . . (2 Corinthians 6:4–5)

    Don’t give up when the field the Lord has assigned you to is hard and the harvest does not look promising.

    And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

    Don’t give up when you labor in obscurity and you wonder how much it even matters.

    “Your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:4)

    Don’t give up when your reputation is damaged because you are trying to be faithful to Jesus.

    “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.” (Matthew 5:11)

    Don’t give up when waiting on God seems endless.

    Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:30–31)

    Don’t give up when you have failed in sin. Don’t wallow. Repent (again), get your eyes off yourself (again), and fix your eyes on Jesus (again). Get up and get back in the fight.

    If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9); if we are faithless, he remains faithful — for he cannot deny himself. (2 Timothy 2:13)

    Hope and Help in the Hard

    “Don’t give up when you have failed in sin. Don’t wallow. Get up and get back in the fight.”

    Living by faith in “things not seen” is hard (Hebrews 11:1). Jesus reminds us: “the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:14). But the way has always been hard, and you are not alone in the difficulty. You are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses who have passed this way ahead of you (Hebrews 12:1). Many have suffered far more and have remained faithful. Remember them and imitate their faith (Hebrews 13:7).

    Above all, remember Jesus Christ (2 Timothy 2:8). Jesus knows your works (Revelation 2:2) and he understands your war (Hebrews 12:3). His grace will be given to you in your time of need (Hebrews 4:16) and it will be sufficient for you, even at the very worst times (2 Corinthians 12:9).

    So, look to Jesus (Hebrews 12:2), “fight the good fight of the faith” (1 Timothy 6:12), and finish your race (2 Timothy 4:7). When you have done the will of God, you will receive what is promised: his great and eternal reward (Hebrews 10:35–36). Measured by eternity, the hardships of this life will not be long, and “by your endurance you will gain your lives” (Luke 21:19).

    How to not give up

    TRIGGER WARNING: This post references suicidal thoughts and may be triggering to some people.

    Since my first post on Tiny Buddha entitled “Why I Didn’t Kill Myself and Why You Shouldn’t Either,” I’ve been doing amazingly well. I thought I had this suicide stuff in the bag. I thought it lived in the past. I thought it was no longer a part of me.

    I thought I had found my way forward and that I would never feel that way again. I thought my suicidal ideation was a historical part of my existence.

    Tonight, I sat in the bath watching the water trickle down from the faucet and all I could think was how easy it would be to watch the blood trickle down my arms into the water instead.

    I thought of how easy it would be to drift away into nothingness. I thought of how easy it would be to not have to get up every morning to face another day of emptiness. I thought of the peace I would have if I were no longer afraid all the time and how wonderful it would be to be free from the prison of my mind.

    Sometimes, I long for this.

    Sometimes, I long for death.

    I do not long for death itself, being cold and distant and immovable.

    But I sometimes long for something other than what I am. I long for a feeling of safety and security. I long to feel loved and cherished, not used and abused.

    I long to feel anything that is something more than the nothing I feel right now.

    What Do You Want?

    I know what you want. I want it too. You want someone to love you, someone to care, someone to tell you everything will be okay.

    You want someone to tell you that even if you aren’t perfect, you’re enough just as you are.

    You want your parents to put your needs ahead of their own, because that’s what loving parents do. You want those adults who abused you to think twice before they steal your innocence and your ability to feel.

    What you want is for the past to never have existed, and what you want is impossible.

    I know what you want.

    You want someone to care, and it seems as if there is no amount of caring that will fill the empty hole in your heart, and no matter how hard you try to fill it up yourself it only goes halfway and then starts slipping back to empty.

    Every day is a struggle to survive. Every day you wake up and wonder, “How much longer can I go on?”

    The emptiness that fills your heart and your soul begins to take over your rationality.

    At some point the things that kept you going have become meaningless. The life you have lived for so many years was just a struggle to survive.

    Today you are at a point where nothing means anything. You aren’t even in pain. You feel nothing. You want to give up. You want to no longer exist. You want to stop being.

    The endless negative thoughts swirl around in your brain compelling you to end everything. The hope for the future subsides to a dulling ache keeping you going every day.

    You stare at the television knowing you are wasting your life, but are incapable to get off the couch and get outside.

    Yet, you keep going. Why is this?

    Why You Shouldn’t Give Up

    I don’t know why I don’t give up sometimes. Most days I want to give up. But the human spirit is powerful. The desire to live is a strongly held need that keeps you in this world.

    There is only one reason I don’t give up.

    There is only one reason I don’t spend all my money, write out my will, and deliberately plan my death.

    There is only one belief that sits in the back of my mind that keeps me going day after day.

    What is that belief you ask?

    There is always something that I hope for. I hope for change. I hope for strength. I hope for love. I hope for caring. I hope that things won’t always be as they have been.

    Hope, my friends, is the only thing keeping me, and probably you, alive.

    What does hope mean? To me hope means not giving up. It means constantly seeking a new way. It means looking deep inside to find what exactly it is that seems lacking.

    What About Now?

    I can’t promise you things will change tomorrow.

    I can’t promise you that your self-serving parents will suddenly see the light and give you what you need.

    I can’t promise you that you will stop choosing the wrong partner or that magically things will be better.

    There are so many days when I believe that all is lost and want to give up, and I don’t know why I feel this way. I feel stupid for not being happy for what I have.

    I want to be enough.

    I want to feel enough.

    I want to thrive, not just survive.

    So, for now I make it through the day. For now, I do the best I can do. I wake up every day and realize I need to change something and I realize that at some point it will change.

    That, my friend, is enough. Believing that something will change is sometimes enough.

    Because, “This too shall pass.”

    Because There Is Always Tomorrow

    How do I know “this too shall pass”? I know because feelings and circumstances always change. Change is the nature of life.

    The day after I wrote this and while I was going through the editing process I called my doctor to see if maybe it’s time to get back on some medication. I was feeling despondent and knew something needed to change. Of course, they couldn’t get me in for another month.

    So, where could I go? What else could I do? My answer to myself: search Google, of course. I started looking up bunch topics that I need to work on that were related to relationships, love, and happiness.

    I came across a relationship coach who seemed to get exactly what it was that I needed at the moment. I watched a series of videos. Although I had heard all the things he spoke of before, for some reason everything resonated more deeply than usual.

    I needed someone who would not just tell me that I am enough (intellectually I know this) but would give me the tools to help me believe that I am enough and keep me from falling back into the abyss of negative thinking that I tend to fall into.

    When we are ready to hear, the message comes.

    I booked a session with him and when we spoke everything became clear. I finally grasped the complex nature of how one can go through life without loving and accepting one’s self and how your fears can limit your existence.

    You may not realize it, but you may actually fear being happy and you may keep thinking negative thoughts as a means to protect yourself. I realized that I had to stop my negative thinking and that no one can make me feel whole and loved and valued if I don’t truly love and value myself.

    I realized I am still looking for someone to save me or for someone to validate me so I can feel whole, and guess what? It stops today.

    I just decided. I decided that it was time to show up for myself fully and completely and stop delegating away my needs for others to fill like an empty vessel.

    If you don’t give up hope and keep looking for help and reaching out to others, you will eventually find the people, tools, and resources that you need to heal.

    I do it over and over and I’ll do it again. If I can do it, so can you.

    Indeed, it is not easy to know whether God wants you to hold on to a relationship or simply give up on it. First of all, your judgment could be clouded by your emotions. Thus, you could not be sure if it is God telling you what to do or it is simply your heart.

    So, what are the indications that God does not want you to give up on your partner? How can you say that He wants you to stay in a relationship and fight for it?

    You can check out the following signs to help you decide:

    1. You have no peace with the decision to give up.

    Peace is one of the signs that you are doing the right thing. If you have a close relationship with God, the Holy Spirit is more likely to convict you whenever you are about to do something against God’s will. So, if you are not at peace with your decision to give up on your partner, maybe He is telling you to reconsider.

    Of course, there could be other reasons why you are not at peace. It could be because you still love the person, and you are not ready to let go yet. For this reason, ask God for a clearer direction of His will.

    2. The person asks for forgiveness.

    God, Himself, is willing to forgive us every time we sin against Him. He treats us with His grace. Meaning, He continues to accept us despite failing Him many times. Now, if God does not give up on us no matter how many times we have sinned against Him, how can we give up on the people we love so easily?

    If the person who hurt you asked for forgiveness, it is a sign that God does not want you to give up on the relationship yet. If the individual sincerely confesses and apologizes for their mistakes, it means that they are genuinely repentant. Why not give them a second chance like how God gives you every time you turn back to Him?

    3. You see your partner trying to change.

    Each person has their negative traits. No one is perfect so expect that your partner will have flaws too. However, seeing their bad side should not be enough to let go of the relationship quickly. What matters is the effort of the person to be a better partner.

    If you can observe that your partner is trying their best to change their attitude and habits, your patience is worth it. It is one sign that tells you that there is still hope for your relationship to improve. So, do not give up just yet.

    4. You still love each other.

    Do you and your partner still love each other? If yes, then the relationship is still worth fighting for. Why give up so easily when both of you still hope for the relationship to last? If it is because of problems, remember that no relationship is exempted from them.

    If you have confirmed that love is still present between you, it could be a sign from God to hold on. Why not pray and ask Him for wisdom on how to save the relationship? If He is for your love story, He will help you keep it. Just surrender it to Him.

    Photo by DaniGuitarra

    5. The person shows relentless determination to succeed.

    What makes you think about leaving the person behind? Is it because they do not have a high-paying job yet? Or are they unsuccessful in every way? If you would leave because you think you have no secure future with that person, then it means you do not truly love.

    God wants you to love a person unconditionally. However, he also understands your need for security. If you can see that your partner continues to persevere despite previous failures, it is a sign of hope. As you continue to support your partner through prayers, encouragements, and any kind of help, trust that the person will succeed someday.

    6. The individual is depressed and needs help.

    Do you want to leave your partner because they are currently messed up? If you truly love the person, that would be the last thing on your mind. The person’s situation should instead make you stay because you know the person needs help.

    If your partner is struggling with depression, consider it a sign from God that He wants you to help them overcome it. That is what love is about—staying and helping a person up when they are down. If you cannot love your partner at their worst, what would make you deserving of their best?

    7. You were able to survive many challenges together.

    Has your relationship survived countless fights and other trials throughout the years? Have you ever thought you would break up several times but until now, you are still together? If you seem inseparable despite the number and intensity of challenges you faced as a couple before, why give up now?

    Your past relationship victories signify that God does not want you to give up on your partner now. On the contrary, it looks like the challenges you go through are meant to help strengthen your relationship. Plus, they only intensify your love for each other.

    8. The positive things in the relationship outweigh the negative ones.

    Again, trials are normal in relationships. If you would focus on the problems, expect that your relationship will end soon. However, if you would focus on the good things in your relationship, you would find more reasons to keep fighting.

    Try to evaluate your relationship now. Reminisce the happy memories you shared. Think about how you have helped each grow more mature. Are you ready to give them up?

    9. You are still in the process of healing.

    If you have been hurt by your partner recently, it is normal for the thoughts of giving up to cross your mind often. Human as you are, you simply want the pain to go away. However, it is not the best time to make a decision.

    If you have decided to forgive your partner, you should be willing to go through the healing process. Do not impulsively decide to give up on your relationship because of the pain or anger you still feel. Instead, pray about your situation and weigh things before you finalize your decision.

    Photo by lubovlisitsa

    10. Both of you still want to fight for the relationship.

    Another sign that you should not give up on your partner yet is the willingness to go on. This is in connection to no. 7. If you and your partner have talked about the desire to continue the relationship, then hold on. You are not done with your love yet. As long as there is a chance to keep it, why let go?

    To help you go on together, pray for your relationship regularly. Then, surrender your love story to God and ask Him to help you make things right and resolve any issue. Ask Him for wisdom to become better partners.

    Pray for Wisdom

    Of course, these signs should not be enough to convince you to stay in a relationship. You have to pray about it earnestly. God will indeed send other ways to let you know His will about your situation.