How to persuade your parents to let you have a sleepover

I really want my boyfriend to spend the night over my house and so does he. We are in a serious relationship and it’s not like we would do anything. we would just sleep in the same bed, basically like any other regular sleepover when people have their friends over..except hes my bf so all wed do is cuddle or whatever and fall asleep. I’ve already asked my mom if he could, she said, ‘;No, not until your 18.’; Then i of couse asked why and all and she said, ‘;because/i said so, not until your 18.’; Then i even said even if he slept on the couch bed which is next to her room and i sleep upstairs in my room? still the same answers basically. anyways i really love my bf and i want to spend a night with him. It would be very nice. even if it has to be seperate rooms i guess until im 18 then he can come to my room and stay. Well any advice to how i should convince my mom to let him spend the night. THANKS in advance. How to convince my mom to let my boyfriend stay the night?
Your mom is being really reasonable. You are really lucky. I am twenty-two years old. I no longer live at home, but I bring my boyfriend by my parents house on numerous occassions. Even if we hang out there until 2AM, my parents absolutely forbid me to llet him stay the night there with me. We’ve been dating for two years. They claim: their house, their rules. Even though I’m an adult! It’s actually one of the reasons I moved out in the first place. You’re very lucky that you only have to wait until you are 18.

In all honesty I would stop bugging your mom about it. The more you pester her, the more likely she will be to get frustrated and change her mind.

If she was my mom, I’d tell her thank you.

:)How to convince my mom to let my boyfriend stay the night?
This is something parents are pretty strict about usually. The reason is more than she doesn’t want you to have sex. She also doesn’t want to imagine sex between you two is possible, especially under her roof.

Try to show her both of your mature sides. Your adult side. Your mutual respect for each other. Have him over for dinner more, let her get more comfortable with him.

There’s a 90% chance she wont budge on this, but at least she’ll respect your relationship more.
It’s your mother’s house. Respect her wishes. Whenever you catch yourself sneaking around to do something your mother forbids you, stop. Remember that it would hurt your feelings if your friend (or your mom!) treated you to a blatant display of deception or lies.
listen to your mom.

you will understand when you are older.

you will not just cuddle, you will have sex. you might not want to, but your defenses will be down and you will go farther then you intended.

listen to mom.
maybe your mom could talk to his parents about it. talk to your mom and his parents at the same time might help too.

8 comments:

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It’s the weekend, and you and your friend are excitedly making plans together for a great Friday night. However, you realize there may be a possibility that your mother will say no to your request. Carefully consider how to approach your mother for permission to have a friend over. Respectful conversations will prove to your mom that you are a mature and responsible individual that deserves to make her own plans and have a little fun.

Plan your night out carefully before presenting the idea to your mom. Talk to your friend and ask her what she would like to do. Consider a movie, board game, television marathon or a spa night. Showing your mom that you have a responsible agenda for hanging out will help her feel more at ease.

Consider why you think there is a possibility that your mom would say no. She may have planned a family night, or think your friend is a bad influence or that you haven’t been on your best behavior lately. According to licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Nancy Weisman, parents and children should be open with each other in order to have a clear relationship. Ask her if there is an acceptable time for your friend to visit, and what her objections are. Whatever her reason may be, be prepared to gently discuss it with a mature response, and also respect her side the story.

Provide your mother with your friend’s parents’ contact information. If she feels wary of your planned night, encourage her to call and discuss it with your buddy’s mom and dad. Suggest inviting them over for dinner while you and your friend hang out. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it will make future plans easier if your parents are on friendly terms.

Be on your best behavior before asking your mom to let you invite your friend over. Clean your room, do your homework, help with laundry and take the garbage out. Proving that you are a responsible person will give her a reason to trust you with more responsibility, as well as space to grow up and become more independent.

How to persuade your parents to let you have a sleepover

My parents are way overprotective. There’s going to be a really cool sleepover but they won’t let me go, even though they’ve met the parents. They keep thinking something bad will happen. What should I do?

Marien

Hi Marien! Let me just start by saying I feel your pain!!

My mom actually made me do a “half over” once. And by that I mean, she dropped me off with a sleeping bag and my PJs, but then she picked me up three hours later because she didn’t know the parents really well.

I thought it was SO lame! No one even got into their pajamas until after I left.

When my mom brought up the idea, I wanted to say, “Sure, I’ll go for HALF the sleepover. Then how about YOU go for half your pedicure next week? No really, just do the right foot! Who cares if all the other moms do both? If they jumped off a bridge, would YOU. ”

But I didn’t say that, because I had a feeling I wouldn’t get to go at all if I did!

I REALLY wished my mom were as cool as the sleepover mom, who let all the kids go in the hot tub outside after midnight…ALONE!

When I heard about it the next day in school, I was SO bummed that I left before that!

But then I heard the rest of it: all of the girls accidentally got locked out of the house, because the cool mom had her own friends over and they were down in the basement watching a movie. One of the girls even got sick!

So what’s the moral of this story? Sometimes, crazy stuff goes down at the really cool sleepovers!!

I bet your parents have been to a couple like that or heard some stories, and that’s why they’re afraid!

Maybe you can convince them to let YOU do a half-over. I know, it’s kind of lame and embarrassing, but if they drop you off and check the situation out, they might feel comfortable letting you stay the whole night next time.

AND if you try to find a compromise instead of fighting them, they might think you’re super mature, which will go a long way the next time you want to do something they’re nervous about!

If they don’t agree to the half-over idea either, ask them if YOU can have a really cool sleepover. It will be pretty hard for them to keep you away from THAT one!

What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Marien?

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on thursday my boyfriend is coming round to a bonfire thing my family is having, which is all fine.
hes got work in the morning near me, so I asked my parents if he can stay over to make it easier for him, so he doesnt have to go home late thursday night (which is 2 buses away) and come all the way back up here early friday morning.

despite us being together for 2 years, and me staying at his 2/3 times a week, and him staying here when my parents are away (which they know about) they wont let him stay on thursday.

I understand the ‘their house their rules’ mentality, but I think they are being quite unreasonable, I am 19 years old, and responsible enough not to be going at it all night when my mum and dad are in the next room.

any advice as how to convince them to let him stay?

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My mother still won’t let my girlfriend stay over my house on grounds of “there’s nowhere for her to sleep”. My dad is far cooler about things and let’s her stay over his house.

You could try what a friend did, shock tactics, “Mam, we have sex, don’t be so naive and grow up.” It didn’t work with his mother, but maybe it will on yours.

yeah in my bed, ive even suggested we sleep with the door open, if they are that concerned.

I do understand that itd be weird for them, but I stay at his so often and they know hes here whenever they go away, just for practicalities sake itd make sense for him to stay!

I have quite a good relationship with my mum too, I dont know why she doesnt trust me with this.

punky rocker – I could try the ‘why dont you trust me ‘ face.

From the way they have let him stay when they are away, and that they have no problem you staying with him, it just seems they don’t want to be in the house should you have sex – psychologically that can be rather weird for parents (even if in this case it’s more for logistics, which is absolutely fine). Perhaps explain that to them, and that for one night you are quite capable of not doing anything.

But if they say no, after you’ve been that candid, I would leave it. I know that can be annoying at 19, especially when you have the freedom you already possess, but it’s only one night and not worth risking it if a big hoohaa were to develop.

(Original post by Hubert Poo)
From the way they have let him stay when they are away, and that they have no problem you staying with him, it just seems they don’t want to be in the house should you have sex – psychologically that can be rather weird for parents. (even if in this case it’s more for logistics, which is absolutely fine). Perhaps explain that to them.

But if they say no, after you’ve been that candid, I would leave it. I know that can be annoying at 19, especially when you have the freedom you already possess, but it’s only one night and not worth risking it if a big hoohaa were to develop.

I think it is the sex thing – which is why ive suggested sleeping with the door open, im not trying to con them, we really wont have sex, I think itd be weird for me aswell with them next door.

good advice although its tempting to make a hoohaa. lol

“I am 19 years old, and responsible enough not to be going at it all night when my mum and dad are in the next room.”

So how much of the night are you gonna be ‘going at it’ for?

If it really is the sex they’re worried about, could you maybe make up a bed for him elsewhere in the house? They might feel differently if you’re in separate rooms (assuming you have the space!).

(Original post by lolablue)
I think it is the sex thing – which is why ive suggested sleeping with the door open, im not trying to con them, we really wont have sex, I think itd be weird for me aswell with them next door.

good advice although its tempting to make a hoohaa. lol

I think the door open thing is going the right way about it. The hoohaa thing is that I’ve seen one or two peeps get into a tizz and all of a sudden the parents use it to justify why he can’t stay with “Oh well you’ve proved you’re not acting like an adult throwing a tantrum” etc. It may not be correct per se but if they’re determined they will use it. So don’t give them it.

You seem to have a very open and cordial relationship with your mum. Maybe take her aside without your dad and reiterate as bluntly as you can that you will not have sex. You’re 19, you’re in a stable relationship, and sleeping in the same bed does not always equate to sex; he is staying because you have things to do the following day and it makes practical sense.

Rationalise it that way and you may get some luck. But do stick to it.

how can I convince my mom to let my friend sleepover?

It usually should be really easy. Unless your parents are super-strict, they should give in. As others have said, do a couple extra chores for a few days before asking (to make it seem like you didn’t just do it right before to suck up, even though they might know!). Tell them your plans, that you won’t sneak out, you’ll go to bed (relatively) early, and you won’t keep them up. If you plan on staying up until 2 am, this won’t work! Just make sure you are well-behaved for a couple of weeks before and don’t fight with your siblings.

Ask really nicely.If they say no,try to tell them the good reasons why they should sleep over.Then promise to do something for them (ex:buy them their favorite candy,make their favorite dinner,give them a spa day,Bring them a coffee,wash the dishes,or take out the garbage). So,stuff like that might persuade them.

I usually clean my room and pick a few others to scrub down. She gets so happy so then I ask. She usually said yes. That was when I was younger though. I’m 19 now and live somewhere else so now I enjoy the freedom.

Be like mom my friend was wondering if he or she can come over. and she says no back off. then about 2 hours later do something around the house and then ask. it always helps with me. hope this helps.

just say that you and your friend won’t be annoying, you will stay quiet the whole time. and that you will do loads of chores and cleaning up for a whole week !! hope that helps xx

tell your mom that your friend is really hoping that she could come over or tell her that nobbody could wacth her and clean up the house beofre good luck

say that you wud really like some time to socialize with your friends because school has got you stressed, or just come right out and ask! 🙂 good luck

Say Yoou Dont Mind If They Cant. And Say You Wil Do Cleaning And Stuff And Most Of All Teel Her You Love Her( Your Mum) LOADS! Hoope i helped<3

UM First of all why cant they sleep over? do your parents hate them or something? what ever you do dont cry they hate that

dont cry or they wont let you do it when thy ask you 2 do something do it dont pout its not worth it hope this helps xoxox

I need help on how to get my parents to let me sleepover my boyfriends house, im 15 and hes 16, I am 16 this year, my parents say im childish but they use it as an excuse because they are too controlling.

im in the same situation my mom wont even let my boyfreind in my room!! let alone stay at his house . im dreadin askin her tbh if u ask me she is bein wayyyyyy to protective im 16 im old enough to make my own decisions and choices i just feel like im not trusted by my own mom as she does not seem to understand that i dont even have sex in mind as we have not been together that long and i want to feel secure in the relationship before i even think about having sex with him i just wish she could see that im not a stupid little girl who needs to depend on her parents all the time anymore i kno how boys can be and that some girls my age can get pushed into things they dont want to do but i have knowen this guy 4 about 3 years our parents both kno each other and i kno he can be trusted he has even asked me to come on holiday to wales with him when he gets his driving license !! so im going to have to build up her trust with me being alone with him otherwise she will never let me go so this is how i pan to ask her : 1. make sure that she is in a good mood (if she is grumpy she always no to whatever i ask her) 2.soften her up for a week or 2 in advance like do the housework without bein asked tiddy your room do your homework jiust show her that u are growing up and can take responsibility 3.make sure my dad and sister are out of the way when i ask because it is most likely that they will butt in and try and change her mind 4.invite my boyfreind over a few times in advance so she can get to be comfatable around him and trust him more (invite him over 4 dinner with your family so ur parents get the idea that he is in to u and cares about u enough to go as far as to meet ur family) 5.when it comes down to actually asking her i will do it politely and if she says no then i wont argue (this will show her that i respect her and her opionions and if i dont make a scene sometumes she changes her mind later on + dont nag at her if she says no this will most liklely piss her off and make it a even more definate no!) 6.if she does say yes then reasure her like take ur phone and tell her u will keep it on at all times and she can call u if she gets worried , tell her that u will sleep with the door open , let her see what u are packing this will show her that ur not planning on taking anything suspicious like raunchy clothing ( if u are planning on taking any items she might not approve of pack them later when shes not looking what she dosnt know wont hurt her) 7.when you get back home from staying at his house tell her what u did (well the things that wont make her angry or not trust u) tell her about any inncocent things u did hopefully this will make her feel like i hav not left her in the dark and dont tell her anythin this should make her trust me even more and askin her about the holiday he asked me to go on wont be such a traumatic ordeal after all hope this helped

How to persuade your parents to let you have a sleepover

You may think that I am a horrible child that never does anything right. The contrary is true. I am a wonderful child with wonderful parents. You have never done me wrong. I would say compared to other parents you are absolutely delightful.

I understand that you do not want me to get an IPhone because you think it’s not a necessity. I believe that it is not a necessity but very helpful. I can almost drive by myself and almost 100% of the time I have no clue where I am going. If I had an IPhone I could easily use the GPS on the phone. You have used the GPS on your IPhones and I’m sure you can agree that it is beneficial.

I also understand that you don’t want me to get an IPhone because I already have a phone. I do have a phone, but not a very useful one. I can’t have a group chat and I can’t go on the internet. There are many more things that an IPhone can do that my generic phone cannot. I’m sure you agree that your IPhones are better than your old flip phones.

You’ve also said that another reason you don’t want me to get an iPhone is because I am inconsistent with my responsibilities. Both of you should realize this, I may not do the dishes every time they need doing but I have never skipped, or been late to class, and I have never gotten in trouble at school.

Basically an IPhone would benefit me greatly and would not be used as a “toy”. I will respect your decision no matter what. Thank you for considering my request and being such great parents.

2 Comments

You want to get an iphone because you have a crappy flip phone.
Your parents don’t want to get you one because they think your not responsible enough and because you already have a phone.
your reasons where that you could use it for a GPS when you get your license and so that you can use it to talk to your friends and you would not treat it like a toy.
I think you could add more arguments for your side and you could also say how happy you would be if you got a IPhone.

Wants an IPhone
Not a necessity-Gets lost in places easily
Already have a phone-Not a useful phone
Inconsistent with responsibilities-Never done wrong
Name all of the things that the iPhone can do
Make opening paragraph a little longer

How to persuade your parents to let you have a sleepover

Would you let your 17 or 18, or 19-year old daughter, and her boyfriend, share a bed if he slept over your house? Let’s back up – would you ever even let your daughter’s boyfriend sleep over your house?

About a year ago, my boyfriend’s daughter asked us if her boyfriend, whom we like, could spend the night. We were all going skiing the following morning and it would save him a trip. My boyfriend already knew how crystal clear I was on this subject. NO F*CKING WAY!

But after a bit of cajoling and guilt, I caved in. We put him in the basement on a futon. We also made it perfectly clear that this was not to become a habit. For me, this issue falls under the broad category of boundaries (mine) and speaks to the idea of respect, and good old fashioned values. We’re not running a brothel here, people.

When I was a senior in high school, I asked my “consciousness raising meeting host, pot-smoking, Kerouac reading, Woodstock foregoing because the traffic was going to be too intense” parents if my boyfriend could sleep over. It was after nine o’clock and he only had his permit at the time. They agreed but I could tell that they weren’t excited about the idea.

He slept in the guest room down the hall. And in the middle of the night, my boyfriend tiptoed the 50 feet down to my bedroom, and we had relations. We thought that we had really pulled one over on my folks and we felt so grown up. Raging hormones will trump parental rules any day of the week. At least it did for me.

The next morning, we all met in the kitchen for breakfast. My boyfriend and I looked at each other, thinking about our dirty little secret. I caught a glimpse of my mother’s face, and noticed her clenched teeth, as she focused on scrambling the eggs. Hmm, that’s odd, she was beating those eggs a bit more aggressively that unusual. Something was wrong.

My boyfriend sat down at the table and he started talking about football with my dad. My dad hates football. I stood by my mother, huddling over the eggs and then she turned to me, her eyes, like daggers, pierced through me to my very soul. She uttered three little words that would affect me for the rest of my life.

There was nowhere to hide. There wasn’t any point in acting like I didn’t know what she was referring to or attempting some lame excuse. “What do you mean? He had a hang nail, so he came into my room looking for nail clippers and then he feel on top of me and.. it was an accident.”

I thought it best so say nothing. What could I say? I was royally embarrassed and I felt like a child. I was a child. Maybe that was the point. I had disappointed her, and I had disrespected she and my dad (who never heard a thing, thank God) I had betrayed their trust in the most sordid and humiliating way. If there was anything that I held near and dear to my heart, and which remains the same today, is my unwavering respect for my parents.

This incident hit me deep and from that moment on, I have gone out of my way (almost to a fault) to do the right thing and to never put my parents, or anyone that I care about, in a compromising or uncomfortable position.

Now, with my boyfriend’s children, I must see to it that it is I who is never put in a compromising or uncomfortable position. Ah, the circle of life. I know that the children aren’t mine, and I know that, just because I was a disrespectful whore, it does not mean that the my boyfriend’s daughter will be.

But I can’t take any chances. I have my mother’s steely look seared into my brain, and that alone ensures that there won’t be any sneaking down hallways, or girl-boy sleepovers.

If they get married one day, and they want to sleep over at our house, we can revisit the topic then but not a day before.