How to approach a girl if you’re shy and don’t know what to say

If you are a Shy person and wondering for How to Approach a Girl for the First Time, then this is the perfect guide for you. In this article, we will share some awesome tips that will help you to easily Approach a Girl in Public.

When it comes to approaching women, most guys often freeze up…

They look at the woman they like, brave themselves to make the initial contact, then switch to ice entirely like the proverbial deer in the headlights.

But who can blame them? Without a doubt, approaching women is one of the toughest things a guy will ever have to do in an eternity and so that we have decided to publish this article on How to Approach a Girl You Don’t Know.

(If you’re having fits of approach panic, trust me, you’re not alone.)

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

And it’s not at all your fault either.

You see, it’s all grounded in your psychology – and it’s something which every guy exists with.

After all, you have simply no idea whether a lady can welcome your strategy or shun it completely.

Fortunately, there are ways to the market on how best to approach a woman that typically result in a good answer!

Continue reading to discover everything you need to do to have the result that you want every time you approach a lady that you like. Call it the crash-proof Shogun Method means, should you? Ever wonder How to Approach a Lady on Phone or What to Say When Approaching a Girl?

Walk Tall

One of the simplest methods to display the kind of external confidence you’ll need when approaching women is to walk tall. Stand up immediately and also have a masculine stride about your walk. Feel free to repeat icons of masculinity such as Clint Eastwood or Humphrey Bogart when you’re first starting. If you approach a woman this way you’re displaying confidence, that’s going to create the rest easier. Additionally, this works even if you aren’t feeling comfortable. Don’t be afraid to practice this at home before heading out to satisfy women.

How to Approach a Girl –В Approach Immediately

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

Would you ever find yourself wondering if your person discovered you or not? Guess what? She did. That’s why it’s important to approach a woman in public immediately. The longer you wait for the much more likely you’re to seem “creepy” at worst or unconfident at best. Simply take a breath, collect yourself and walk over. Denial can be hard for a lot of men to cope with but remember: You’re never going to gain the lottery without investing in a solution. To own success approaching girls in public places, you first have to approach them. Earlier is obviously better than later.

Don’t Over Think It

Another good thing about approaching a woman quickly is the fact that it cuts down on a natural tendency to over-think your approach. The one thing along with your method is that it’s one very specific purpose: To start a conversation, produce the interest of attention and obtain her planning to speak with you more. In income, they often say that every word of the sales page is all about getting someone to read the next. Think about your approach in this manner: You’re certainly not hoping to get her to drop in love with you. You’re trying to get her to want to keep speaking with you. This is why we suggest that men begin conversations with light, fun, content-free banter.

Using Body Language

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

Whenever you speak to your guy friends, you two aren’t facing one another dead on. Similarly, you don’t like to do this whenever you approach a woman. It’s better to approach on the side or, in the very least, rocker after that your initial approach. Talk to her over your shoulder, turning in when you speak and turning slightly away when she does. It is a lot more natural way to speak to her, as opposed to the “job interview” type that each one too many men use if they approach women.

Getting Her Number

Especially if you’re approaching a woman in public through the day or in a location beside a bar or club, you would like to get her number fast. How can you do this? After you’ve gotten her serious and gotten her attention, tell her that you might want her number so that the couple could get together. Palm her your phone prepared to take her range, then text her with something like “This is AJ, the greatest person you’ve seen throughout the day:-)”

It’s that easy. Talking to ladies in the standard will be a lot easier than you might think. There are no gimmicks or shortcuts. Some basic, common sense methods as you can use to improve your chance with females or learn how to approach a woman.

Keep in mind that Approaching a girl in public areas might be complicated. However, if you focus on her body gestures and respect her personal boundaries, there’s no reason for you to encounter as creepy. With some assurance and training, you are able to discover ways to approach a woman and start a talk!

We hope you liked our easy steps for How to Approach a Girl for First Time, How to Approach a Girl at School
and What to Say When Approaching a Girl. If you need any further help, comment below.

You know, not every beautiful girl is outgoing and extroverted. Some of them are shy. (I personally have seen a lot of shy girls from my time in Asia.)

And lots of guys have trouble approaching the shy, quiet types. They can’t approach a girl that’s shy! That’s why in this video, I’ll show you how to approach SHY girls!

Check it out below.

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How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

How To Approach A Shy Girl & Get Her To Open Up

The Shy girl

The “shy girl” typically shows hesitation to engage in the interaction, which means it’s going to be a bumpy ride trying to get her to talk, let alone give her number to you or go on a date. (Not to worry though, we’ll solve that soon enough)

Many shy girls build barriers to keep men out of their life. There are plenty of reasons for this:

  • Broken family
  • Feeling insecure
  • Feeling unsafe and unsure
  • Low self-esteem
  • Culture and Beliefs

Here’s a quick checklist to know whether or not you’re dealing with a shy girl :

  1. Barely maintains eye contact, keeps staring at the ground
  2. Crosses arms or keeps fiddling with fingers
  3. VERY soft, almost inaudible voice when talking
  4. Prefers to speak in shorter sentences and is close-ended most of the time

We’ll have to break these barriers. Mastering the art of connecting to women will get even the shyest of them to open up. They’ll feel attached to you – and you’ll only have to keep some simple things in mind.

How To Approach A Shy Girl

TIP #1
Match her energy, but the right way.

Mirroring is a powerful Neuro-Linguistic Programming tool to establish rapport with a stranger. You see, humans tend to trust and feel more comfortable around those that seem most like them. When you mirror a persons body language, movements, energy, eye contact, and keywords, it can quickly create a powerful connection, But be careful doing this with a shy girl. You don’t want to mimic her submissive and beta body language and start acting shy, timid or nervous because that’s just not very attractive.

However, approaching her as a loud, high energy alpha will probably scare her away.

The key is to match her energy. And shy girls are usually lower energy so crank it down a notch or two. Even if you are at a high energy club and you approach a shy girl, lower your energy at first to make her feel comfortable. Then slowly start bringing it back up to lead her into a more fun outgoing state.

TIP #2
Be comfortable.

You need to feel totally at ease with yourself and with her, even though she might be acting a little strange. A lot of guys get nervous around shy girls because they aren’t sure if she’s into him, so they start second-guessing themselves. Instead, have fun and just talk. I like to warm up before dates.

B e okay with silence, and don’t make it awkward. She might be taking her time to open up, so keep smiling and be comfortable with longer than normal moments of silence.

Here are a few tips to help:

  • Keep a friendly and warm smile and cheerful demeanor.
  • The less threatening you are, the better. But remember to keep a confident tone to your voice and body movements.
  • Maintain some distance when first speaking to her. You want her to feel safe so, limit physical contact at first. Start by reaching out and shaking her hand after a good introduction.

TIP #3
Shy girls tend to talk way less than outgoing girls. So you’ll have to take on the conversational burden and talk more than her.

It’s actually okay to just start talking about yourself. This will get things going and keep things interesting. (But remember to give her a chance to talk, too if she wants.)

Feel free to share your life story with her. This helps her to get to know you and feel more comfortable with you and eventually she’ll start to open up. Hopefully.

If I’m dealing with a woman that is shy I like to show her pictures on my phone . This helps her learn about me and allows us to get closer because I’m sitting next to her. If she feels comfortable sitting close to you then this is a huge step in escalating the interaction. I can also use pictures to escalate sexually.

Always give her the opportunity to speak by asking basic open-ended questions, that she doesn’t have to exert too much mental energy coming up with an answer, like What do you do for fun? or “Do you have brothers and sisters? Tell me about them”.

Once she’s opened up a bit, it’s time to escalate. But I recommend you start slowly and see how she reacts.

  • Joke around with her gently touching her . You’ll see whether or not she reacts positively to this, and you’ll know if she’s comfortable with that.
  • If she reacts negatively, it’s best to lie back for now and try again later when you’ve established a better rapport. If positive, try experimenting with gradual intimacy like hand to belly, but again fall back if you see a negative reaction.
  • You don’t want to be creepy here! Even though you’re being assertive, remain 100% gentleman so as not to lose her completely. It only takes one creepy mistake (like cracking a personal sex joke way too early or touching her legs too soon) to turn off a shy girl.

If she’s receptive, it means that she’s allowing you to breach her defenses. Shy girls tend to need a little more time to warm up but don’t give up. All you have to do is take it slow, one step at a time!

To help you out with escalating with a shy girl, or with any other girl – we created a “Free Escalation Cheat Sheet” that lists out some of our best ways to spark romantic tension, turn a girl on, and escalate to the bedroom.

It’s filled with Advanced Escalation Techniques that will help you turn a platonic – friendly interaction, into a more – “I want to rip your clothes off” vibe.

This is very useful when you’re talking to a girl, but it’s going nowhere.

Download the Escalation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to take things to the next level!

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

And if you want us to show you how to meet women personally , click here to check out the live Bootcamp Schedule.

Matt Artisan is considered one of the World’s Top Dating & Attraction Coaches.

For the last 5 years Matt has personally conducted Live Trainings and Workshops in over 36 countries, helping thousands of men all of the world build confidence and succeed with women.

He has been interviewed by ABC and featured on MTV.

Approaching anybody that you don’t know can be quite nerve-wracking! Your palms get sweaty, your mind starts racing and you tend to start playing out different scenarios in your head. Like what if this person is uncomfortable with you just randomly coming up to them? Are they going to respond positively? Will they become hostile?

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

There is no need to panic! Approaching someone, especially a girl that you don’t know in high school, can seem almost impossible. However, it’s really, truly simple… If you know what you’re doing that is. Of course, if you knew what you were doing in this situation, you wouldn’t be here looking for advice, would you? Probably not. But that is exactly why we’re here. To help you take this challenge on head first and succeed! With our tips you will go up to this girl with no problem, confidence, and feeling ready to take on the world! Well, maybe not the world, but at least your high school!

Confidence is going to be key here. So do your best to gather as much of it as you can as you read through these following tips on how to approach a girl in high school.

How To Do It

Wait For The Right Time

We know that you are probably uber excited to get this show on the road. However, we recommend waiting for the perfect time. You have some things to work on first. And besides that, you don’t want to approach her when she’s busy. Or possibly even when she is surrounded by a bunch of her friends. Why not? It’s not likely to happen, but if things go south between you, it’s better her friends are there to jeer at you or poke fun at this situation. So just wait. Wait until you have done the next three steps and then wait until you find her not busy without her friends around.

Practice First

This might sound silly, but you want to practice first! When they said practice makes perfect, they definitely weren’t lying. This is what works. You can practice in the mirror, by talking to yourself. Playing out how you want the conversation to go. Or if you are extremely shy, you might want to practice by talking to other people. Ask your mom or your best friend to spark up a random conversation. You can do a little bit of roleplaying as well, by asking them to pretend being the girl you want to talk to. This will help you prepare for the actual event when the time comes.

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

Build Up Your Confidence

Like we said previously: Confidence is key . Without it, you will fail at completing this mission. Girls find confidence attractive. If you are a little shy, it’s okay, but you need to work on building up that confidence level so you aren’t stuttering or tripping over your feet when you approach her. Do everything and anything you can to become more secure in how you feel, how you talk and how you say what you want to say. This is very important!

Ask Your Friends To Hype You Up

Right before you make your move to approach her, ask your closest friends to give you a pep talk. They can help hype you up for the conversation that is about to happen. This might give you the confidence boost you need to be successful in this endeavor.

Have A Friendly Demeanor

Nobody wants to spend time talking to someone that possesses a hostile demeanor. Make sure you appear loose and friendly. Approach her with a smile on your face and make sure your arms aren’t crossed. Crossed arms can indicate you are nervous or upset about something, because they give you a ‘closed off’ appearance. You want to appear more open if anything. When speaking to her, keep your tone light and cheerful, too.

Find Your Opening Line

Yes, you are going to want to think about what you are going to say before you say it. Be weary of the first words that come out of your mouth when you speak to this girl you don’t know. Saying the wrong thing can lead to immediate termination of your shot at an actual conversation. So what are some of the wrong things you can say? Stray away from saying anything even slightly perverted. She is not going to respond well if you come on too strongly and insinuate something sexual. You two do not even know each other. She will most likely scoff, flip her hair at you and walk the other way. Try to avoid saying something about her looks right away. Although you might think that a compliment will work, it doesn’t always. A compliment based on her looks will just make her think that you are initially hitting on her. She might not vibe with that. Try to focus on finding common ground and using that to your advantage.

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

Find Common Ground

Like we said, finding common ground is something that you can use to get things really sparking between this girl and yourself. A common interest is going to get her more interested in communicating with you. Did you see her reading a book that you also read? Have you noticed your parents drive the same cars? Are you both supportive of a certain sports team? Or maybe you spend time in the same class! These are all good things to use when you are looking for common interests to talk about.

Use Positive Body Language

Positive body language is so important when meeting someone new. We already talked about not appearing closed off and using your pearly whites. You may also want to consider making continual eye contact. Eye contact will let her know that you are focused on her and what she has to say. Use your hands to talk, but don’t do so too ferociously.

Don’t Try Too Hard

We know you are nervous and you really want to impress this girl. Yet it is crucial to not try too hard. You want to be yourself. Refrain from lying about yourself to show off. This never ends well and usually a girl will be able to tell when you are not being honest. It will just blow up in your face.

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

Exchange Information

The final step here is to ask her if you can talk to her again. Once you have been talking for awhile, you can ask her if you can hit her up on Snapchat, Facebook or text her.


See, that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? We have total faith in you! Good luck!

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

April 27th 2018

There’s something that’s been on my mind lately:

A lot of guys think that most girls refuse to approach guys. They think that we just like to sit there & wait for a guy to walk up to us… and make him do all the work.

And honestly, I get it! I see all the girls in the bars & clubs when I go out… they really do look like they’re just standing around, waiting for some dude to walk up and hand them a drink.

But here’s something most guys don’t realize:

When girls go out to meet guys… we WILL approach you under the right circumstances. The key is to look “approachable.”

But what exactly does that mean?

I can tell you that it does not mean looking “handsome” or “rich”… and it’s not about being loud or the “life of the party” either.

So today, I’m going to show you 3 simple ways to get more hot girls approaching you (even if you’re shy)… but first I want to tell you who I am!

Hi, I’m Jessica J.! I’m a host for Playboy Radio, and last year I was named OkCupid’s most popular female user.

It’s safe to say I know a lot about sex and online dating. (If you want to see some of my sexier videos, click here to watch me show you my hottest tips for better foreplay right now!)

So every week, I’ll be answering your most burning questions about sex and online dating…

And this week, I’m answering this one:

One of the biggest reasons guys avoid approaching attractive women is that many guys simply don’t know how to approach a woman they’ve never met. But guys who take the time to learn the fundamentals on how to approach a woman no longer have that issue, and therefore have an easy time approaching women wherever they go. If you like to master those fundamentals and learn how to approach a woman you’ve never met, read on.

How to use eye contact in approaching a woman

Approaching a woman you’ve never met is always easier if you have an invitation to approach. And the way to get that invitation is with eye contact.

When you see an attractive girl you want to approach, the first thing you want to do is make eye contact. If she looks up and catches your gaze, holds that eye contact and give her a relaxed smile. This will help you make a good first impression on the girl by showing you’re a confident, friendly guy.

Now, if she holds that eye contact (or looks away and then back at you) she’s giving you a sign she’s interested and it’s an invitation to approach. Don’t wait for any other invitation, as this is likely the most obvious indicator of interest she will give. However, if she doesn’t hold your gaze – or never looks in your direction to make eye contact, don’t worry. There is still plenty you can do to start a conversation with a woman you don’t know.

Best way to approach a woman

A good approach comes down to having the right body language. So as you approach a woman, keep your head up, back straight (like there’s a string from your lower back pulling you up through the crown of your head), shoulders back, and smile. Approaching a girl in this way will show her you’re a confident, friendly guy right off the bat. As a result, she’s going to be much more receptive and willing to engage in a conversation.

Now, a good habit to have in approaching women is to always walk up to the woman you’re interested in right away. Lots of guys don’t do this. Instead, they get anxious about approaching a woman and insist on waiting for “the right moment” (which never comes). But if you have any approach anxiety when walking up to a woman, waiting around for “the right moment” is only going to make that anxiety worse. Plus, you don’t want to be the guy who is seen hesitating – or worse – the guy who hovers around a girl. Girls notice that and are instantly turned off.

Instead, here’s what to do when you see a girl you’re interested in: Obey the “two-second” rule and simply go approach the girl within two seconds of seeing her. Walking up to a girl without even thinking about it will not only make you look more confident, it will prevent that approach anxiety from taking over.

How to stop a girl on the street

There’s no reason to limit the women you approach to just bars and clubs. You can approach women absolutely anywhere. Even if a girl is simply walking down the street, you can stop her and engage the woman in the conversation right then and there.

Of course, stopping a girl on the street is going to look different than walking up to a girl at a bar. If you’re interested in stopping starting a conversation with women on the street, here’s how to do it:

Put yourself directly in her path, about 6-10 feet in front of her. This way you won’t startle her, and can stop her momentum

Face her and look her right in the eye. Make it clear your looking to get her attention

Raise your hand about in foot in front of you (put it around the height of your belly-button). Putting this sort of barrier between the two of you has a way of easing the tension.

Stop her with a simple “Excuse me” and get the conversation started (more on this next)

In the end, stopping a cute girl on the street is no different than stopping someone if you were lost and needed directions. The only difference is that instead of looking for directions, you’re just looking to have a friendly chat (which just might lead to a date).

What to say to a woman you just met

The trick in how to start a conversation with a woman you don’t know is to keep things positive, light, and fun. This can be done in a variety of ways. One of your best bets to start things off with some playful banter (for detailed explanation on how to master banter, check out these episodes of Pickup Podcast, as well as articles here and here).

If you don’t feel comfortable jumping into banter with a woman right off the bat, then just say whatever you feel comfortable saying. A genuine compliment or a simple “Hi, I’m _____” can start a conversation with a woman off just fine.

Lots of guys think they need to dazzle a woman right away with an amazing opening line. The truth is, they don’t. These guys would be surprised at just how to effect this kind of authenticity can be.

How to win a girl over with your attitude

In the end, what you say to a girl really doesn’t matter. After talking to a girl you just met, she’s probably going to forget most of what you said within a few hours (maybe even minutes) anyway. What she won’t forget though, is the way you made her feel. And that doesn’t come from the words you say, it comes from your attitude.

Attitude can trip a lot of guys up. Lots of guys who interact with a girl have an attitude of “I hope this girl likes me” or “I hope I get a number”. Guys who are approval-seeking and outcome-dependent come across as lacking confidence and that attitude can rub a girl the wrong way. Instead, you want to keep a warm, positive vibe throughout the interaction. When meeting a girl, you want to have an attitude along the lines of “I’m awesome, you’re awesome… everything’s awesome”.

Having a fun, care-free attitude is going to get her to start feeling that way too. If you can get a girl to feel good when she’s talking to you, then she’s going to want to have you around more often.

Did you know the Art of Charm has new online coaching programs to overcome approach anxiety Click Here to Learn More

Brian M – author of 191 posts on The Art of Charm

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he’s made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →

Even if you’re not super attractive and don’t possess a magnetic aura that attracts women, you can still run into the kind of situation I encountered in a club before I started studying attraction. I was on the dance floor when this cute lady came up and danced close to me, smiling and initiating heavy eye contact. She had done the approach, and frankly, I didn’t know what to do. I blew it – and so could you, even if you’ve been practicing your seduction skills for a while now! It’s one thing to work on your attractiveness and confidence, but are you prepared for what happens when you are successful with women? What happens when a woman approaches a man ? How do you react when a woman shows interest?

She looks over from the other end of the room, seeking eye contact with a teasing smile. It’s great – she saves you the “trouble” of opening and pulls you right into the interaction. The trouble is, this can become a trap, because she’s seizing control of the situation – and if you give in, you may just be on your way to paying the bill. Ask yourself:

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

Why is the girl interested in you?

It’s flattering, but there’s no way you should unquestioningly grab her attention. Regardless of who makes the first move, the same rules apply: you can’t let her just pick you out of the crowd and pull you into her reality. You’re still calling the shots in your world. She’s interested? Great! Have her come over so you can see what she wants. Is it just because you look hot? Or the bulge that your fat wallet puts in your pants? You know what you want, and it’s a girl that’s interested in your personality.

Don’t let her control the interaction.

Don’t get up and walk over to her. That’s your first sign of subordination. I know this goes against what we’re usually used to as guys, and that usually guys should take the lead. However, in this reversed situation of the woman ‘making the moves’, you must play the part, albeit from a male perspective.

If you supply to her demands as soon as she gives you a glance, the next thing you know, she’ll be asking you to buy her a drink!

You can start out with some playful eye contact and flirty smiling, if she initiated contact then make her come over to see you! Signal your intentions with a subtle head motion, or even a hand gesture suggesting that she comes over. The message should be clear: “You noticed me first so I want you to come over and talk to me!”

That being said, there are some girls that are extremely shy and won’t have the courage to approach a guy… even if he signals her to come over. You have to judge the situation, and if you see she’s just too shy, you’ll need to be the guy that goes over and makes the approach. That’s a man’s job if she can’t do it.

Allow her into your space.

A great approach if she’s too shy to approach you, is to walk over, get her hand and lead her back to your space: leading a girl around is a powerful thing to do, and this has a nice twist as it seems like you’re giving in at first. Whatever you choose, if she’s interested in getting to know you, she will follow; if she declines and motions you to follow her lead instead, turn back to your friends and see what happens next. Women test men all the time, now this is your way of testing her. How sincere can she be if she drops you for not following her lead?

Remain playful and honest about the approach

Female attention catches many men off-guard – our society’s gender roles call for the males to open up the females, and not many men have the powerful attraction that galvanizes women into action. It’s understandable that many don’t know how to react when a woman shows interest – but don’t let that stop you from learning!

If you’re caught off guard and a woman is strongly suggesting that she wants to initiate contact, then just say “hi”. Don’t figure out a reason why you’re saying hi, and don’t think about what you’re going to say after, just say hi. Because she initiated the interaction, she’ll look for reasons to find you interesting and all you need to do is show up.

When the moment comes to talk, if she doesn’t open up the conversation, you can easily do so: by your previous non-verbal responses to her interest, you’ve set up a frame that you can move around in now. How about beating her to the line “So you’re the one that wants to buy me a drink”? Any response should be appropriate to the established vibe – you’d use this one on a perky woman, a shy girl might enjoy a more sincere, inviting approach, like introducing yourself and noticing something about her (the way she walks, a piece of jewelry, the colour of her hair) right off the bat.

When all is said and done, the ground rules stay the same. Don’t take her interest and run with it, don’t turn yourself into an easy catch. She might be interested for all kinds of reasons, and you should take the lead in the situation and find them out. From there, you’ll be fine with what you learned about attraction already.

Flipping the roles might also give you a little insight to how girls feel when you’re hinting that you want to approach them. Although women tend to be more used to being approached, the feelings are still the same.

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say

Learn how to approach a girl you don’t know. This article will show you the best way to approach a girl – anywhere; at school, on the street, at the gym (it’s always fun to approach a hot girl at the gym), at a bar, in a club, at work, in public, or even when she is with her friends and with a group of girls.

So, you found this page because you’re interested in learning how to approach a girl you don’t even know. First I’ll tell you exactly what to do and then I’ll give you some crucial advice on how to approach a girl you like (so you can get to know her and find out if you really do like her).

How to Approach a Girl You Don’t Know: Step-by-Step Advice

Step 1: Find a girl you are attracted to. You can approach a girl anywhere. This could be at school, on the street, at the gym (it’s always fun to approach a hot girl at the gym), at a bar, in a club, at work, in public, or even when she is with her friends and with a group of girls.

Step 2: Physically move to go talk to her. No matter what. Don’t worry about trying to approach a hot girl from the right angle, or any other tiny details like that. So long as you approach a beautiful girl you find attractive then you are doing more than most guys ever will. If you two have chemistry then all those little worrisome details won’t matter a single bit.

Step 3: Say, “Hi. What’s your name?” I’ll explain why this is all you need in a minute.

Step 4: Have a fun conversation (try making her laugh)

Step 5: Ask for her phone number.

Step 6: Whether it goes anywhere with this girl or not, give yourself a pat on the back. You have just increased your confidence level. Approach enough women in this way and it won’t be long before you find a woman who you really hit it off with.

How to Approach a Girl in a Club, at a Bar, in Public, on the Street, at School or Anywhere Else!

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to say‘Hi’ Is Enough! This is going to be obvious but… SAY ‘HI’!

That’s it guys. See a pretty girl and say hi.

Anyone who tells you that you can’t just say hi obviously is not talking about reality. (Hi exists for a reason!)

A simple, “Hi, how are you?” is plenty to get the ball rolling. If she likes your look and you are a relaxed, fun guy then things will take off naturally. (If you still have trouble with conversation then I suggest you practice making small talk with EVERYONE you meet).

Guys, know this – you don’t need to get more fancy than ‘hi’, ‘hello’, or a similar greeting. This is what we get results with and we get results that other guys wish they had (it all starts with taking action on improving yourself).

Learning how to approach a girl you don’t know ain’t rocket surgery. ‘Hi’ is more than enough to get a conversation started in order to find out if you share chemistry with the girl. If it isn’t enough then you’re mistake lies elsewhere. Go seek out someone with more experience to help you (and then use what they say to test it out in your own experience).

How to Approach a Girl You Like with Ease

“But isn’t approaching beautiful girls haaaard?”

No. It’s not. And especially not once you do it once, a few, or a few thousand times.

Let me ask you – Is it hard to joke around with someone you get along with? Is it hard to talk with a friend who you have a connection with? Is it hard when you meet someone who you can relax around? These are things you are looking for right away when you meet women.

It might take time to learn and it will certainly take deliberate, concentrated effort on your part but if you are willing to take action on improving your self and your life then you WILL get better and get closer to your goals.

Here’s What You Need to Really Learn the Best Way to Approach a Girl

How to approach a girl if you're shy and don't know what to sayWant to get better at ANYTHING in life?

The best way I know of getting better at anything really fast is to find people who are getting the results you want and then mining them for information. Ask them questions. Find out how they tick, how they think, and what they do to get the results they get.

The same is true for approaching a girl you don’t know. Find guys who are doing it and getting the results you want and learn from them. It could be a random guy on the street or in the bar. It could be your buddy. Or you could get help from professionals who make their living by getting guys results.

But no matter where you seek a mentor, whether it’s free or paid, you need a mentor/mentors if you really want to succeed and get the lifestyle and the women you want. Using the experiences of others as a guide to your own learning is the smartest, most efficient thing you can do on your own path to mastery.

What Should You Do Right Now to Approach an Attractive Girl You Like?

This is the most important issue.

If you don’t actually go out and approach a beautiful girl, then you won’t meet her. Period.

Let’s finish this article by recapping where this advice has been tested, massively. You can use this list to go approach a beautiful woman right now.

  • At school
  • On the street
  • At a train station
  • At the gym
  • At a bar
  • In a club
  • At work
  • In public
  • When she is with her friends
  • When she is with a group of girls
  • On a train
  • On a bus

So get out there and go approach a girl you like.

You’ve just learned a ton of useful, great advice. It’s up to you to actually use it and take action on improving your dating life!

What do you do when you get the urge to text that cute guy or girl you’re kind of into, but you have no legitimate reason to start a conversation? You could use a cheesy pick-up line like everyone else, but you don’t want to come across as clichГ©. And you likely won’t get anywhere with a mere “hey” or “wyd?” message. The goal is to send a text that gets the conversation going and ensures you exchange more than a few words back and forth. One of these five conversation-starting texts to send your crush could be just what you need, whether you’re not sure what TF to talk about or you think you don’t have anything at all to say. Sometimes a gentle nudge in the right direction is all a person requires to start opening up.

Once you get the ball rolling, you’ll be able to tell if you and your crush are conversationally compatible. If you supply them with a solid opening and they don’t reciprocate, then maybe the two of you are not a great fit. But if he or she responds positively to your initial text message, you could be well on your way to making those same sparks fly in real life. Here are five kinds of texts you can send your crush when you want to start a conversation, but you’re not sure how to begin.

1. Ask A Leading Question

Opening the conversation with a question is a good strategy. Asking something they’ll definitely know the answer to is even better. “You can ask a question they’ll know the answer to, and that will get the conversation flowing more freely,” says Shannon Smith, a dating expert at Plenty Of Fish. If you’re both into the same sports team and you’re not able to watch the big game, you can send a text asking about the score. Have a class together? Ask them a question about the homework. Who knows, maybe you can even set up a future study date.

2. Jog Their Memory

“If you know a little background info about your crush and you’ve spoken before, bring up something you remember from your last conversation to show you were actively listening, like a band or movie you both like. It’s a great way to pick up right where you left off,” says Smith. By reminding your crush of your last interaction, you’re expressing your interest while also piquing theirs. For example, if you recently talked about your shared love of horror films or indie music, you can send them a related movie or song suggestion.

3. Say Something Sweet

If you’re texting someone for the first time, Smith suggests mentioning something that made you laugh or that made you think of them. A genuinely sweet thought can never hurt — even if the relationship doesn’t progress, your text will brighten their day.

Try sending a message that will both flatter them and get them to talk. Did you meet at an improv class? Say something like, “Just saw a comedy show and it made me think of you. The performers hadn’t quite mastered their ‘yes, ands’ the way you have.”

4. Bring Up A Shared Interest Or Experience

“The most effective way to strike up a conversation is by commenting on a shared interest or experience,” says Smith. Start by looking at their social media feeds or dating app profile to see if you can find any details you have in common: If they post a lot of Instagram photos of their dog, and so do you, you can suggest a puppy playdate. Or, maybe you both went to the same literary event, and you can ask them if they’ve read another of your favorite titles.

5. Send An Emoji

Smith says that a Plenty Of Fish study found the wink face, kissing face, and heart eyes emojis are the most likely to get a reply from singles, in that order. Consider using one of those in your initial text to show off your flirty side, and increase your chances of getting a response.

Starting a conversation with someone you’re interested in can be intimidating, but making the first move is actually very sexy. Smith says that in her experience, women don’t initiate conversations as often as they should, so by sending the first message, you’ll stand out in a positive and memorable way. Your crush will be flattered and will likely return the favor by initiating next time.

One last piece of advice? “Try not to get too caught up in your own head when it comes to conversing with a crush. Just being yourself is always the best approach,” advises Smith. “And remember, if it doesn’t go exactly as planned, don’t sweat it. Eighty-five percent of singles are more than willing to give things a second chance after a less than stellar first convo.”

This post was originally published on May 7, 2018. It was updated on Aug. 20, 2019 by Lilli Petersen.