How to find a fellow nerd to fall in love with

By Trudi Mentior — Written on Jan 26, 2018

How to find a fellow nerd to fall in love with

Once upon a time, no one wanted to be seen with a “geek.” If we follow astrology, we’d rely on our horoscope to drag us away from ever finding a soulmate in a nerd. But these days, we’re falling all over ourselves to join them, no matter what our zodiac sign is. In pop culture, they used to be the comic relief. Now they’re the heroes.

Don’t get me wrong — I’m certainly not lamenting the old days. I think it’s great that the general public has learned to appreciate intelligent and unusual people, instead of making them the butt of every joke like they did when I was in high school, about a million years ago.

The slang terms are the same, though. Geek, Nerd, and Dork are words that I remember well. They all have slightly different connotations, as I understand it.

Nerds are the true intellectuals. They tend to be scholars, computer programmers, engineers, scientists, or creative geniuses. They don’t just absorb information, they really understand it and know how to apply it.

Geeks are interested in more obscure or specialized subjects. Here’s where you find the fanatics who know every little detail about one topic (like movies, books, games, including all the non-canon spinoffs and fanfics). Geeks don’t just have hobbies, they have obsessions.

Dorks seem to get the short end of the socially-awkward stick, because they’re not known for being particularly good at anything other than just not quite fitting in anywhere. I don’t think that’s all there is to them, though. If they can learn not to take the social scene too seriously, and focus on the talents they do have, they’ll find that people will want them around precisely because they are so different.

Would you love to have one of these guys in your life? If you still don’t quite know what you’re looking for, here’s a quick guide to the types of nerds that suit your zodiac sign best.

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Aries needs a partner who can keep up with her active lifestyle, who isn’t afraid to follow her into new territory. You might go for someone who’s a geek about your favorite sport or other activity, and can help you take your own performance to the next level.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

Your geek, Taurus, is a collector. When it comes to their favorite obsessions, they have every limited edition accessory, signed copy, and director’s cut. Better yet, they have the good sense to not remove (most of) these items from their original packaging.

This isn’t just a bunch of boxes and toys taking up space; it’s a smart financial investment.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Gemini, you should find yourself an intellectual nerd, the kind who spends half of their time reading and knows a lot about many different subjects. You’ll love the way they can switch topics several times a minute (just like you!) and pull odd facts right out of their heads to add to the conversation.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

You’ll be happy with a lovable dork, Cancer. They might not fit well in social circles, but they’re exactly right for the private home that you two can share. Your dork doesn’t care what anyone else thinks, but they’re absolutely dedicated to you and your odd little family.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

A nerd is already the star of their own show, and a geek’s obsession will take their focus off of you, Leo, so you might be better off with a dork — someone who really needs your warmth and encouragement to help them feel more comfortable.

It’s win-win: they’ll think you’re the greatest thing to ever happen to them, and you can inspire them to feel more self-confident.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

You’re already either a nerd or a geek yourself, Virgo! That’s the basic nature of your sign.

Get yourself a partner on your level: someone who shares your love of research, who not only understands your weird obsessions but is happy to jump right in there with you, and spend a whole day talking the obscure details that you love so much.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Libra, with your busy social life, you need someone who’s not going to go into hiding at the first sign of a party. Find a charming nerd who will be proud to escort you anywhere, but who can also hold their own without having a panic attack (or embarrassing themselves) when you two have to mingle separately.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

You appreciate intelligence, but remember, Scorpio, “dork” doesn’t mean “dumb.” This type of misfit is probably the most adaptable of them all. If you’re looking for someone who wants to please you, who might even be willing to change themselves to suit your preferences, the dork is your best bet.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Don’t deny it, Sagittarius: your own love of learning and appreciation for new experiences makes you such a nerd. You’ve got no patience for someone who doesn’t know at least a little bit about everything.

Geeks are too focused on one thing. Dorks are nice, but you don’t want followers. You need a fellow nerd to join you on your adventures and be your study partner.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

Capricorn, you need a partner who understands your ambitions and can contribute to your work. Find a geek who truly loves everything about your chosen path.

You’ll be able to rely on their extensive knowledge base, and when you finally succeed, your geek partner is probably the only person in the world will be really able to appreciate just how significant it is for you.

Send any friend a story

As a subscriber, you have 10 gift articles to give each month. Anyone can read what you share.

  • Read in app
  • By Daniel Jones

    • Jan. 9, 2015

    In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.

    The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.

    The final task Ms. Catron and her friend try — staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes — is less well documented, with the suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four. But Ms. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”

    1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

    2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

    3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

    4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

    5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

    6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

    7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

    8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

    9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

    10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

    11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

    12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

    13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

    14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

    15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

    16. What do you value most in a friendship?

    17. What is your most treasured memory?

    18. What is your most terrible memory?

    19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

    20. What does friendship mean to you?

    21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

    22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

    23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

    24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

    25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling . “

    26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share . “

    27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

    28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

    29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

    30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

    31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

    32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

    33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

    34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

    35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

    36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.