Aggressive personalities are fundamentally at war with anything that stands in the way of their unrestrained pursuit of their desires.
When it comes to matters of character, the aggressive personalities are among the most disturbed. Researchers in the areas of personality and character disturbance have long recognized that there is a fairly substantial group of highly disturbed characters at the center of most abusive relationships and who pose the greatest threat to social order. Yet, the official diagnostic manual of mental disorders recognizes only one small subtype of these personalities as disordered. The manual confers the “disorder” status basically to career criminals and even fails to distinguish or recognize the most severely disturbed character — the psychopath (alt: sociopath) as a distinct personality type. In the next several posts, I’ll be exploring the defining characteristics of a group of personality types that I call the aggressive personalities. Not all of the aggressive personalities engage in criminal behavior, but all pose problems for relationships and society. I’ll explain what character traits the aggressive personalities have in common that make them so problematic as well as outline the defining characteristics the various aggressive personality subtypes possess that make each subtype a uniquely disordered character.
In a prior post, I made the point that it is erroneous to equate human aggression with violence (see “When Passive-Aggression isn’t Very Passive”). I also described the many modalities of aggressive behavior. In yet another prior post, I presented some definitions and a framework for understanding both personality and character (see “What is a Character Disorder?” and “What is a Character Disorder? Part 2: Questions and Comments”). Using these posts as a backdrop, we can begin a discussion about the aggressive personalities.
As stated in an earlier post, personality can be defined as an individual’s preferred “style” of perceiving, thinking about, and interacting with others and the world at large. Factors that contribute to the development of personality include biological predispositions, environmental factors, and the dynamic interplay between biology and the environment. Those aspects of an individual’s personality that reflect their capacity for and commitment to virtuous and meritorious conduct define a person’s character. The aggressive personalities are individuals whose overall “style” of interacting involves considerable, persistent, maladaptive aggression expressed in a variety of ways and in a wide range of circumstances.
All of the various aggressive personalities possess characteristics common to narcissistic personalities. Indeed, there are some theorists who tend to view the aggressive personalities as merely aggressive variations of the narcissistic personality. One of the aggressive personality subtypes is principally defined by the fact that they are narcissistic to the most pathological extreme. But the principal distinguishing characteristic of the aggressive personalities is not so much their narcissism, but rather their penchant for aggression. The various aggressive personality subtypes have more in common with one another than they have differences between them. Their common characteristics are:
- They actively seek the superior or dominant position in any relationship or encounter. There is a saying in the real estate business that there are three things that really matter: location, location, and…location. With aggressive personalities, there are three things that really matter regardless of the situation they’re in: position, position, and…of course, position!
- They abhor submission to any entity that one might view or conceptualize as a “higher power” or authority. They are fundamentally at war with anything that stands in the way of their unrestrained pursuit of their desires. That often means the rules, dictates and expectations of society. Some will accede to or give assent to demands placed on them when it is expedient to do so, but in their heart of hearts they never truly subordinate their wills.
- They are ruthlessly self-advancing, generally at the expense of others. They actively and deliberately seek to exploit and victimize others when to do so will further their own ends. Whereas the narcissist simply doesn’t consider the rights or needs of others, the aggressive character tramples the rights and needs of others to satisfy their own desires.
- They have a pathological disdain for the truth. Aggressive characters don’t just disregard the truth, they’re actively at war with it. Truth is the great equalizer, and the aggressive personality always wants to maintain a position of advantage. So, they deliberately play very loose with the truth when they’re not flat out lying to con or dupe you. They don’t want you to “have their number.” That upsets the balance of power.
- They lack internal “brakes.” They don’t arrest themselves when they’re on their missions. Like a rolling train with no means to stop, they exercise little control over their impulses.
They view life as a combat stage, with every event in life having only four possible outcomes:
- I win, you lose.
- You win, I lose.
- I win, you win.
- I lose, you lose.
Their greatest desire is for the first possible outcome. They like it best when they win and you lose. For them, this is the clearest indication that they have emerged the victor in a contest and have secured the dominant position. Contrarily, they abhor the notion that you might win and they will lose. They will resist this potential outcome with every fiber in their body. Such an outcome puts them in the inferior or subordinate position, which they detest. Aggressive characters will reluctantly but not so graciously accept win-win outcomes. That is, they’ll stop warring with you if they think they’ve achieved some sort of victory out of the encounter, even if you also get something you want. Tragically, if it becomes clear that they are most certainly headed for defeat, aggressive characters often won’t go down easily. They often want to take someone else with them. It takes some of the sting out of defeat.
There’s a lot more that can be said about the aggressive personalities. I hope this post stirs some good discussion. It would be helpful to have a much deeper understanding aggressive personalities in general before moving into a discussion about the various subtypes and their unique characteristics.
You see aggressive behavior everywhere. It is, in one way or another, part of your surroundings. You see it on the news, on the street, in social media.
Aggressiveness seems to be a natural part of life that is present in everyone to some degree. There are many different kinds of aggressive behavior and there are theories that highlight its survival value for us as a species.
The field of psychology has dedicated a lot of time and work to studying the causes, processes, and consequences of aggressive behavior. Some are hidden and some are explicit. You might come across behavior that is direct, indirect, physical or verbal, psychological or relational…
Aggressive behavior: hostile or instrumental
Generally speaking, there are two types of aggressive behavior: hostile aggression and instrumental aggression. The motive behind the behavior is the primary difference. They have different precedents, they predict different problems, and they are associated with different cognitive and emotional processes.
Hostile aggression is impulsive-type aggression with the goal of causing harm. It’s reactive aggression with a heavy emotional load.
This is premeditated and cold. The primary goal is not to cause harm, though that might happen anyway. Theft could be the motive or a grab for power. This is planned aggression, whether it’s for revenge or other ulterior motives.
The biology of aggressive behavior
There doesn’t seem to be a direct correlation between genetics and aggressive behavior. It’s more the interaction between biological and environmental factors that would make you more or less prone to aggressiveness. On the other hand, aggression between human beings is socially regulated as well.
Different types of aggressive behavior appear to originate in different areas of the brain. The amygdala, the hippocampal formation, the septal area, the prefrontal cortex, and the cingulate cortex seem to modulate aggressive behavior through the connections with the medial and lateral hypothalamus.
Studies have shown that especially aggressive people can have less gray matter than other subjects. High testosterone and low cortisol levels could also have something to do with aggressive behavior. Serotonin levels also have an important part to play in displaying and controlling said behavior.
Innate impulses and learned behavior
L. Berkowitz developed the cognitive-neoassociation theory of aggression based on work by Freud. His theory proposes that being unable to reach the desired goal is what triggers the aggressive impulse. That leads to a negative emotional state, which is the origin of aggressive behavior.
We also have the social learning theory from Albert Bandura. He proposes that external influences are to blame. They become a part of your behavioral repertoire because of imitation.
In other words, you start to behave in an aggressive way because you see other people doing it. This is especially true if the observer identifies with the person they are watching and considers them a peer.
These two theories were the basic jumping off point for Anderson and Bushman. They proposed integrating the two models. This third theory takes biological, environmental, psychological, and social factor into account to explain aggressive behavior.
They argue that aggressivity happens because of an interaction between the individual’s personal traits and the external stimuli that activate a series of cognitive and emotional processes.
Factors involved in aggressive behavior
Among the factors involved in aggressive behaviors are social instigators, non-social factors, and the individual factors or each person. Social instigators include triggers like provocation, the perception of being unjust treatment, or social rejection.
One of the non-social instigators is aggressive keys (images or objects present in the situation that activate aggressive thoughts). For example, the presence of guns or weapons. On the other hand, we have environmental stressors like heat, overcrowding, and loud noises act like triggers to aggressive behavior.
There are also cognitive factors involved. These would be rumination, moral disconnection, or the activation of scripts (outlines that represent situations that guide aggressive behavior). So, these scripts store the memory of experiences and situations that you can easily remember. You might also store up beliefs about how normal behavior should be in certain circumstances.
In conclusion, there is more than one explanation for the origin or aggressive behavior, but it’s almost certainly some combination of environmental and biological factors.
It might interest you.
The Bobo doll experiment is the empirical demonstration of one of Albert Bandura’s most famous theories: Social Learning Theory. Learn more with us.
Coping with the drastic personality changes of a dementia patient can be difficult; here are ways for family members and caregivers to handle this behavior.
Do you remember the old story about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Gentle Dr. Jekyll invents a potion to separate the good side of his personality from his darker impulses. At first, he can drink the potion and turn himself at will into his evil alter-ego, Mr. Hyde. Soon, however, Dr. Jekyll morphs into Mr. Hyde without trying—the dark side of his personality has taken over.
Sometimes it can seem like dementia is turning a loved one into an aggressive Mr. Hyde, who bears little resemblance to the person you once knew. How can you handle these alarming changes?
Negative Personality Changes
It is important to understand that the primary cause of behavioral and personality changes in dementia patients is the process of the disease itself. While scientists do not understand why dementia patients often become aggressive, they do know that Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia profoundly alter the brain.
In the early stages of dementia, you may notice that the patient seems moody or increasingly anxious—as the dementia progresses, the person may have unexplained angry outbursts and may seem inappropriately impulsive. The patient may also seem restless, agitated or tearful in the evenings; this is called sundowning. Usually patients express aggression and agitation verbally, but they may also become physically abusive. Sometimes patients even experience hallucinations.
While some changes in personality may be irremediable, there are some steps you can take to cope with and minimize other behaviors. Common triggers of anger or aggression in dementia patients include:
- Pain or discomfort: The person may be responding to exhaustion from lack of sleep, or uncomfortable side effects from taking multiple medications. Urinary tract infections are common in dementia patients, and can cause severe pain that the patient may not be able to describe. Sometimes, urinary tract infections may not cause pain, but may manifest themselves in other inexplicable behavioral changes, such as outbursts or wanting to sleep all day.
- Overstimulation: Too much noise, clutter or activity may overwhelm patients with dementia.
- Stress and confusion: Patients may respond aggressively to the confusion caused by being asked too many questions, or being given multi-step instructions. They may also react to the stress and negative feelings of overwhelmed caregivers.
How To Cope
When you are faced with difficult or aggressive behaviors, try to analyze the situation. Was the patient feeling lost or confused? Were they overwhelmed with a new situation that they felt unprepared for, or with environmental stressors like noise or unfamiliar people? Try these tips:
- Check to see if they are in pain, hungry, thirsty, tired or soiled
- Try to create a calming environment with minimal distractions
- Stay calm in the situation
- Try switching to a different activity
- Make sure everyone stays safe. You may need to remove yourself from the room. If the patient is about to get hurt (by walking into the street, for example); you may need to be more firm with them, but try not to use physical force.
In some cases, medication may be needed, but non-drug approaches are always used first. Finally, remember to take care of yourself as the caregiver, and ask for help when you need it.
Salman Raza explores passive-aggressive behaviour and provides ideas on how to deal with it in others and ourselves!
Passive-aggressive behaviour is quite common and it most likely that you have worked or lived with someone who is a habitual passive aggressor. When you anticipate and prepare for passive-aggressive behaviour, it will not catch you off guard. You will know it is about to happen because you will have played out scenarios in your head to determine what your course of action will be. If you combat passive-aggressive behaviour with more passive aggressive behaviour, you’ll get nowhere.
Addressing the behaviour
Passive-aggressive behaviour needs to be addressed for it to stop. Often, it manifests out of a triggered ego. The key is to find a way to disarm the other person’s ego as well as your own.When dealing with a passive-aggressive individual, remember that whatever they are feeling is true to them. All feelings are okay. However, all behaviours are not.
Knowing your own personality type and those of others will help you to react in a more positive and insightful way when faced with unknown situations
For example, let’s say your boss is constantly critical of your work but never delivers any concrete feedback. They continually tell you what a bad job you’re doing but don’t tell you exactly how or why. This is passive-aggressive behaviour. As your supervisor, they should guide you to and help you to improve. Instead, they are harbouring ill feelings towards you. Maybe you remind them of someone in their past. Maybe there is something you do around the office that really annoys them. You may never know the real reason, but you should confront them about it. Instead of calling your boss out on their behaviour, talk with an even tone and request concrete feedback on your work. When we lower our own ego, we present ourselves as someone who wants to improve and do better. If we do not challenge the passive aggressive individual, but ask for guidance, their ego will begin to disarm. They will (in most cases) come back to their rational self.
The passive-aggressor within you
What if you are the passive-aggressor? What are some ways you can recognise the challenge and disarm your own ego? Passive-aggression bubbles to the surface when we feel we are in competition with someone. Perhaps we feel a colleague gets away with murder and is treated with great favouritism. Maybe it is because we bump heads with someone who has different viewpoints. The fundamental motivation is a sense of competition whether we realise it or not.
Apart from competition, passive aggressive behaviours are also triggered by insecurity often brought about by misunderstandings. Maybe a colleague feels you don’t value their work or that you or are being overly critical or punitive. If you have to give feedback or advice, the key is do this gradually, so that the person on the receiving end stays engaged, rational, and attentive. As soon as a person goes into defensive mode, the rational mind will stop working and will not listen creating unnecessary stress and strain. Giving genuine compliments and starting on a positive note helps to dissipate the aggression and fight mode in your counterpart. It also helps them to feel secure and disarms the ego opening the stage for positive, construction conversations.
Passive-aggressive behaviour can also be triggered by fear of the unknown and feeling out of control. When people are faced with the unknown it often shakes their feelings of control. Response to the unknown is influenced by personality types. For example, judging types like to have things planned out. They don’t like to rush or do anything last minute. Meanwhile, perceiving types like to wing things and they trust everything will work out. Knowing your own personality type and those of others will help you to react in a more positive and insightful way when faced with unknown situations.
When there is a misunderstanding between two people, it may also lead to passive-aggressive behaviour. Maybe a colleague feels you don’t value their work or that you are being overly critical or punitive. If you must give feedback or advice, the key is do this gradually, so that the person on the receiving end stays engaged, rational, and attentive. As soon as a person goes into defensive mode, the rational mind will stop working and will not listen creating unnecessary stress and strain. Giving genuine compliments and starting on a positive note helps to dissipate the aggression and fight mode in your counterpart and disarms the ego opening the stage for positive, construction conversations.
Now you have a better idea of where passive-aggression manifests from. It stems from insecurity, competition and a lack of control. The key is to recognise these triggers both in yourself and those around you. This takes time and effort and is a lifelong journey, but with practice and patience, you can succeed.
Salman Raza is an auditor, reforming visionary and speaker. Find out more about him and his new book Life’s Non-Conformities: An Auditor’s Tale of Practical Application of Social, Emotional & Behavioral Strategies
Passive aggression is a masked way of expressing feelings of anger.
Do you know people who are frequently sarcastic? Do they tease others cruelly or put them down, either directly or behind their back? If so, do they then use the phrase “just kidding” to appear to lessen the blow?
Perhaps they respond to conflict by shutting others out and giving them the “silent treatment,” rather than addressing issues head on. Or maybe they pretend to accept responsibility for tasks, only to come up with excuses for not doing them later.
You may not immediately recognize these actions as aggressive – angry people typically use harsh words or lash out physically. However, they are examples of passive-aggressive behavior.
In this article, we’ll define passive aggression, explain why people might act in this way, describe the effect it can have in the workplace, and suggest strategies for managing it.
What Is Passive Aggression?
According to the medical practice and research group Mayo Clinic™, passive-aggressive people tend to express their negative feelings harmfully, but indirectly. Instead of dealing with issues, they behave in ways that veil their hostility and mask their discontent.
If you’re not encouraged to be open and honest about your feelings from an early age, you might use passive-aggressive behavior as an alternative to addressing issues head on. For example, you might sulk, withdraw from people emotionally, or find indirect ways to communicate how you feel.
People may act like this because they fear losing control, are insecure, or lack self-esteem . They might do it to cope with stress, anxiety , depression, or insecurity, or to deal with rejection or conflict. Alternatively, they might do it because they have a grudge against a colleague, or feel underappreciated.
Identifying Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Passive-aggressive people may mask their real feelings and claim that things are “fine.” Nevertheless, you can often spot when their actions subtly contradict their words.
Some passive-aggressive people have a permanently negative attitude, and regularly complain about the workplace or their colleagues. Instead of offering praise when it’s due, they typically downplay or ignore others’ achievements. They might also use sarcasm as a weapon to attack colleagues (pretending that they are joking), or spread harmful rumors .
Another common passive-aggressive behavior is to be disruptive. You may delegate a task to a team member that he doesn’t want to do, so he leaves it to the last moment and does it poorly. Or, he might shirk his responsibilities, such as by taking a sick day just before an important presentation, as a form of “retaliation.”
Passive-aggressive people often have difficulty taking responsibility for their own actions, and blame others for their mistakes. You’ll find that issues at work, for example, are never their fault. Or, if they’re late for a meeting or don’t complete a project on time, it’s because of someone else.
How Passive Aggression Affects the Workplace
Passive-aggressive people’s negative behaviors can have serious consequences. For instance, if someone is consistently sending mixed messages about her intentions, you may find your team regularly misses its deadlines, which reflects badly on you.
Perhaps she withholds instructions or other critical information to impede fellow team members’ progress, and projects suffer as a result. Or team members may have to pick up her work regularly, or are subject to her sarcastic comments. This can affect productivity, as well as breeding resentment and damaging morale.
Strategies for Managing Passive Aggressiveness
The suggestions below can help you control the negative behaviors of passive-aggressive team members.
Identify the Behavior
The first step in addressing passive aggression is to recognize it, using the pointers above. This is often the most challenging part, as it can be subtle and therefore difficult to identify.
Deal with passive-aggressive behavior straight away, so that it doesn’t escalate. Make notes on situations as they occur, so that you have specific examples of what your team member has done, so he knows exactly what you’re talking about.
Create a Safe Environment
Next, let the person know that it’s safe for her to raise concerns and issues with you out in the open, rather in covert ways. Make it clear to her that, as a manager, you don’t “shoot messengers,” and would rather her come to you with her problems rather than let them bubble under the surface.
You need to act in a way that aligns with this, for example, by encouraging, praising and supporting people who do bring matters to your attention.
Use Language Carefully
Give accurate feedback, and be careful with the language you use. For instance, instead of complaining that someone is “always” late, you’ll want to point out the exact times he’s arrived over the last week or so, and give him an opportunity to explain why. You may then remind him when the workday starts, and ask him to show up on time in future.
Although it’s important to be direct and to address the issue head on, try to avoid “you” statements. This will stop the other person feeling attacked, and becoming defensive. Instead, use first-person pronouns, such as “I,” “we” and “our,” and explain the effect that his behavior has had on you and your team. For instance, you might say, “I noticed that the report was two days late,” instead of, “You failed to meet the deadline.”
It’s important to confront passive-aggressive people directly and face-to-face, rather than through an indirect form of communication such as email. You’ll get your message across more clearly in person.
You may make the situation worse if you react emotionally to your team member. She may feel threatened, withdraw further, and become even more entrenched in her negative behaviors.
Speak to her in a measured, even tone and remain composed . She might not even realize she’s being passive aggressive, so you might want to use an empathic approach to defuse any anxiety and anger. However, if she is repeatedly behaving in this way, and you’ve raised the issue in the past, you may need to be firmer, and consider disciplinary action.
Identify the Cause
If passive-aggressive people claim that they are “fine” when their behavior suggests otherwise, don’t accept their answers at face value. Probe more deeply by asking questions to identify the root of the problem. Give them the opportunity to explain themselves, but don’t let them pass the blame.
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Almost every team has at least one dominant personality type who is motivated by winning, competition, and reaching results. While dominant personality types are often seen as commanding and confident, their characteristics have a flip side. They can also become obstinate, aggressive, and overly direct.
Take Gabe, a business development manager at a food and beverage company. Gabe was regarded as a “doer,” or someone who is outgoing and always up for a challenge. He was decisive, never hesitated, and took fast action to drive new sales. His demanding, assertive style landed the company new accounts, but it came at a cost. Gabe often upset senior leadership when he circumvented authority in order to push through new procedures. He also tended to fixate on sales targets to the detriment of long-term client relationships.
Working with someone like Gabe can be a challenge, especially if you’re on the opposite end of the personality spectrum. Many of my coaching clients, who tend to be reserved, empathetic, people-oriented professionals, struggle with dominant personalities. They find their dominant colleagues’ controlling, demanding nature hard to deal with, and many of my clients have difficulty standing their ground in the face of the dominant type’s strong will.
If this sounds familiar, then you may find yourself wondering why your dominant colleagues do what they do and how to find peace in working with them. The good thing is that you don’t have to give up being kindhearted and caring if that’s your natural disposition. But if you want to be successful in work life, then it’s essential you learn to work with personalities that are different than your own, including dominant types.
6 Ways to Work More Effectively with Dominant Personality Types
FOCUS ON THE “WHAT”—NOT THE “HOW”
Dominant personality types are task-oriented. They care about outcomes, not processes. When speaking with them, focus on concrete, tangible facts. Opt to make direct assertions or suggestions rather than approaching conversations as a brainstorming session. Talk about how your proposal affects the bottom line and the expected results.
SKIP THE SMALL TALK
Dominant personalities types operate on urgency and appreciate efficiency. They are the type of colleagues that you should skip pleasantries with and get straight to the point. For example, omit phrases, such as “How are you?” or “I hope you’re doing well,” from the start of your emails. Similarly, jump right into your meeting agenda, ensuring you keep banter to a minimum.
Don’t waste their time rehashing events, repeating details, or building up to your point. Lead with your key message and cut to the chase.
GIVE THEM INDEPENDENCE
To influence a dominant personality type, you have to understand what motivates them, which is achievement and control. The more you can give this person room for independent problem-solving and decision-making, the more effective they’ll be. Dominant personalities prize autonomy, so don’t be surprised if one-on-ones are brief or non-existent. Before delegating to a dominant personality, make sure the areas of authority are clearly defined and articulated. Focus them on bold, ambitious long-term goals to keep them consistently aiming higher.
THOUGHTFULLY HIGHLIGHT AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT
When giving this type of person feedback about their performance, focus on how the behavior changes that you’re requesting will help them reach their goals and get better results. For example, one of Gabe’s colleagues pointed out that Gabe’s bluntness was negatively impacting his direct reports. The colleague shared that if team members left, it would mean Gabe had fewer resources with which to fulfill client sales, and therefore, he may fall short of his targets. That framing inspired Gabe to change his approach. You can also use comparison as a way to constructively motivate those with dominant styles. For instance, highlight competitors who are performing better as a way to energize them to improve.
FILL THEIR GAPS
Healthy, productive teams require a mix of personalities. If you’re working alongside a dominant personality, boost their behavior by being their foil.
While dominant types tend to be innovative and progressive, they can also overlook risks and act too quickly. If you tend to be a more careful, deliberate decision-maker, you can interject stability and reason into the process. Likewise, you can be the one to break down ambitious plans into specifics and guide actual implementation.
DON’T TAKE THEIR ACTIONS PERSONALLY
Dominant personality types may respond curtly. Remember that their brusqueness does not mean they’re angry, upset, or rejecting you. Recognize that if they ask you pointed questions, it’s because they are engaging you, not because they lack trust. Expect brevity in your interactions, and understand that it’s part of their normal pattern of behavior—not a reflection of your adequacy.
If you’re someone who has struggled to assert yourself and speak up in the workplace or has battled with overthinking and a lack of confidence in your decision-making, then there’s a lot to learn from dominant types. Integrate the upside of their style into your own, and you’ll be amazed at your team’s effectiveness.
Children with ADHD can have many different reactions to their ADHD. Some children may scream and throw fits, while others might use physical violence such as hitting or throwing things. Regardless of how your child acts with his or her ADHD, it is important to understand how to deal with your child and his or her aggressive behavior.
Define the Problem
One of the first steps for handling aggressive behavior associated with ADHD is to define the problem you are having with your child. To do this, write down what your child does and why he or she does this. What causes him or her to respond with physical violence? Be sure to vocalize what the child did wrong when you tell them to stop. Give them suggestions on how to respond in a situation like this next time. Also, make sure to make it clear to your child that hitting or throwing things is wrong. Instead, teach them how to use their words.
Understand the Behavior
While ADHD can be frustrating for children who experience this condition, it can be just as frustrating for parents. However, it is important to understand that your child is not choosing to willingly act like this, and often times, he or she cannot help the behavior. First, learn to control your emotions, and try not to yell at your child when he or she acts out. Rather, learn to use a calm but stern voice to tell your child what he or she did wrong, and explain why it was wrong and how to fix it. Another tip for parents is trying to understand the situation from your child’s point of view.
Try to understand how frustrating a situation can be for a child with ADHD and why they might react the way they do. This can be useful when you discuss with your child their behavior and ways to change it. By showing your child you understand how difficult this can be for them, it might help your child to feel like you support them. This is because a child with ADHD can feel like they are always doing something wrong and they are always at fault. However, it is an impulse, and explaining this will show them that you still care and support them. This could lead to your child listening to you more.
Seek Help from Others
When learning to deal with your child’s aggressive behavior, another suggestion is to not be afraid to ask for suggestions from other parents or healthcare professionals who have dealt with this condition before. These people may have great techniques and strategies on helping to move kids away from using violence to express their emotions and more towards using their words.
Reward Good Behavior
Rewarding and acknowledging good behavior as well as inappropriate behavior is crucial when dealing with a child with ADHD. It can often seem to children with ADHD that they are always in trouble. However, by pointing out when they do use their words instead of hitting will be great positive reinforcement. Also, try comparing the behaviors to your child and showing them what happens when they behave appropriately and what happens when they do not, such as time outs and having favorite items being taken away.
Listen and Learn
One of the most important things you can do for a child with ADHD is to listen to them. Even though dealing with an aggressive child with ADHD can be difficult, he or she is still your child and needs your love and support. Be sure to listen to what the child is saying and use that to gage their mood. Understand the triggers or conversations that could cause arguments or temper tantrums. Be sure to have open communication with your child, and let him or her know that it is okay to be alone sometimes. Also, if the child is upset or feels that they are going to have an aggressive moment, learn to help your child learn to control their aggressive behavior, instead of letting it control them.
Behavior in passive aggressive men and passive aggressive women manifests itself differently but there underlying similarities. A hallmark of the passive aggressive person is that he or she believes life will only get worse if other people know of his anger, so he or she expresses his thoughts and feelings indirectly, through characteristic behaviors as withdrawing from conversations (often with last words such as “fine” or “whatever”), sulking, procrastinating, carrying out tasks at sub-standard levels, sabotaging group efforts, and spreading rumors or discontent behind the scenes.
Passive aggressive behaviors are used to avoid confrontation of short-term conflict, but in the long-term, these dynamics can be even more destructive and result in feeling of resentment and anger. Ultimately, resentment and anger often then turns into aggression.
Have you ever heard the old saying misery loves company? Well if someone is being driven by insecurities, bitterness and immaturity, aggressive behaviors can rear their ugly head. What is passive aggressive communication? Here is a list of communication techniques that passive aggressive people use. Here are 8 examples of being passive aggressive…
- Sabotaging the efforts of others.
- Blaming others for personal failures and is always the victim.
- Exaggerating misfortunes.
- Complaining of feeling unappreciated or misunderstood.
- Takes hidden action to get back at someone.
- Goes to self-destructive lengths to seek vengeance.
- Avoiding work and social obligations, often making excuses.
- Says they will do something, but carries it out in an unacceptable manner.
Examples of aggressive communication…
Now, here are some tips to consider when dealing with aggressive people. Someone that is behaving aggressively is not afraid of confrontation. An aggressive communication definition is as follows. They are ready to fight, ready for war. Aggressive communication is a form of expression that does not take into account the needs of others. They are ready to win at all costs. They are generally perceived as selfish and unwilling to compromise. We all communicate aggressively at times. However, it is important not to allow this to become your dominate communication style. Here are some examples of aggressive communication…