How to understand a woman’s mind

This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating.”

There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

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If you find yourself struggling to understand the women in your life, don’t worry—it’s not as complicated as you might think. The trick to understanding women is to put your assumptions aside and get to know them as individuals. Whether she’s an acquaintance, a family member, or a romantic partner, if you take time to talk to a woman and really listen to what she has to say, you’ll soon have a clearer grasp of who she is and what makes her tick. You may also find it helpful to get familiar with women’s issues and learn to recognize and question some common gender stereotypes.

Understanding what women want isn't that complicated.

1. Recognize that women want to feel connected.

Women want to make sure their relationship is on solid ground. After a period of separation — even a day apart — establish that closeness as soon as you can, and everything afterward will flow more freely. This doesn’t mean you have to put your own needs completely on hold. For example, if you come home exhausted from a long day at work and your partner wants to talk, try saying, “I’m so glad to see you. I missed you and wondering how your day was going. I want to hear all about it, but I’m tired right now. I need a few minutes to unwind and relax. Can we talk in 15 minutes?”

2. Don’t jump into problem-solving mode.

If you’re not sure what your partner needs at any given moment, it’s okay to ask her. You might say, “It sounds like you’re really upset. Would you like me to listen, or would you like some suggestions?”

3. If your partner is less interested in sex than you are, try a little empathy.

Instead of taking the rejection personally and pressuring her for more frequent sex, consider the possible reasons for the discrepancy and desire – reasons that may have nothing to do with you. Be sensitive to issues from the past as well as your partner’s general frame of mind. Is your partner a survivor of sexual abuse? Were there traumas in her past that make physical intimacy frightening for her?

4. Think about how much work your partner does.

Is she frequently exhausted? If she works outside the home, how much responsibility do you assume for cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, and childcare? I remember a cartoon with the heading, “What do women want?” The drawing depicted a woman vacuuming; in the bubble above her head, there was a man vacuuming. Brainstorm with your partner to figure out how you can reduce her workload.

5. Allow your partner to voice her fears, and support her in her efforts to face difficult situations.

Women feel empowered by their significant relationships; your caring attitude will contribute to your partner’s success in attaining her goals. She doesn’t need you to talk her out of her fear, or solve her problems. She just wants you to listen and understand.

6. Understand that communication is a process.

Look at communication challenges as an invitation to keep on talking, keep on listening, and eventually work things out. You and your partner may communicate very differently, but the potential is still there to reach higher levels of understanding interest.

How to understand a woman's mind

How to understand a woman's mindPhoto: © Fox Star Studios (Main Image)

Reading a girl is the most challenging thing you can ever do, but once you read her well and understand the subtle hints she drops your way, it’ll become a lot easier for you to decipher how and what she thinks.

How to understand a woman's mind

© UTV Motion Pictures

Reading a girl can be tough because there are numerous layers of intricacies you have to unfold, before you really get to what she’s thinking most times, but if you evade these hints and signs she’s giving out, more often than not you miss out on a lot (even at a probable chance of dating her).

No, don’t get me wrong, she’s not that complicated. She’s just apprehensive most times to be read out loud by someone, so she hides beneath layers of guesswork. But if you can crack the code of reading her the right way, she will actually fall for you instead, because you’ve achieved the impossible! You’ve actually read her right!

Here are a few ways to read the girl you like and eventually end up possibly dating her:

(1) Silence Is Usually Unusual

If she’s silent around you, then it’s sort of unusual because a girl who is into you will try and make conversation with you, no matter what. If she’s silent, it could either mean she’s upset over something related to you or she needs you to give her attention. Whatever it is, she’s not going to be open about it, so ask her what the matter is upfront and she will come around eventually.

(2) When She Says ‘I Don’t Want To Talk About It’, It’s Probably False

Of course, it’s false. Yes, girls like talking about what’s bothering them, but she won’t open up instantly. It’s not because she’s trying to act pricey but it takes a lot of courage for her to open up. And when she does, it’s a smooth sail from there. So, if something is bothering her and she says she doesn’t feel like talking about it, ask her a couple of times until she does want to talk about it. But don’t make her uncomfortable or try and pry and force her to talk. Sit with her and be patient and she will open up.

(3) She’ll Always Have Her Eyes On You

Not in a creepy or prying sort of way but if you two are ever in a conversation, she will always look into your eyes and speak. If you’re just getting to know each other and are having an intimate conversation, follow her eyes and see where they’re looking. If they’re on you throughout, then she’s quite into you. If she’s looking at everything else but your eyes, then she’s not really that into you or is genuinely uncomfortable talking to you.

(4) She’ll Laugh Even If It’s Not Funny

Yup, it’s an inherent trait that women can’t control. If she digs you and you crack one of your lame ass jokes, she’ll still laugh like it’s the funniest thing she’s heard all day. That’s a sure shot way of knowing she really likes you. Come on, even you know how bad your jokes can be, right? If she doesn’t laugh and smirks instead, then you don’t need to continue your jokes further, she’s really not that deep into you!

(5) She’ll Make An Effort To Casually Touch You

That, in no way, is inappropriate and quite common if the girl is into you. She will make efforts to touch you, by grazing your arms or your shoulder with her hands or even giving you a gentle nudge while in a conversation with you. She’ll do this consciously to see if she can feel a spark between the two of you and obviously, to break the ice and tell you she’s comfortable around you.

So, if you do notice these subtle signs when you’re with someone you’re interested in, you’ve read her just right and it’s a good cue for you to make a move on her.

The biggest erogenous zone for women is not between her legs but between her ears. Stimulating her body is the easy part. Stimulating her mind shows her what you are really made of. There are many different ways to stimulate a woman’s mind so try different techniques. Study, listen and understand your woman and her every need. When your woman grows accustomed to one technique, change things up. Add to your list of things to do to continue stimulating her mind. Each woman has her own unique ways of being stimulated. Be creative and enjoy exploring your options.

Although there are many ways to stimulate a woman’s mind, I have compiled a list of 10 ways that will definitely get you started. Please feel free to add to this list in the comments section.

1. Take Charge Women look up to men who are willing to take charge as the leader. Not only wear the title of leader but men who are willing to follow through as the leader and make things happen. Most women embrace having a take charge person that she can trust to lead, direct and follow through.

2.Intelligence Broaden your topics of conversation by studying and researching the things women are interested in. Talk to her outside of bedroom topics. Discuss your life, goals and dreams. Challenge her thinking with new perspectives. Express yourself and articulate your emotions. Instead of groping her and/or being overly sexually explicit about your desires, find other intelligent ways of expressing your desires to her. Express to her she is worth the extra effort and she stands out from the rest.

3.Listening Skills When communicating with a particular woman do your research and find out what her interests are. Listen to her and make mental notes of the certain things she likes or things that make her smile. Listen to what she talks about most often. If she tells you she really likes a certain scent on you, wear it more often. If she tells you she likes a particular food, visit those places for your dates. Take the time to really listen to her and take mental notes. She will tell you exactly what it takes to stimulate her mind. If she doesn’t tell you right away, continue striving to earn her trust. Find ways to get her to talking while you patiently listen and take mental notes.
4.Observation Pay attention to the details of her life. What perfume is she wearing? Or has she mentioned a favorite scent? What is her favorite food? Is she a homebody or like large crowds? Pay attention to the small details of her life. Once the details of her life are revealed, do things to show her you are interested in her life. Don’t ask her if you should, just do it and do it just because… What are her favorite television shows, designer handbags, shoes, favorite movies, favorite artists, favorite celebrities and/or genre of music. Broaden your knowledge on certain topics. Venture into different places to travel, things to see or people to meet in order to mentally stimulate your woman’s mind.

5.Mannerism Show some manners. When you go out on dates with your woman, sit facing the door. Facing the door shows her you have her back. Also when escorting her out, be sure to walk on the traffic side. This shows her you are her protector. When you show her you are a gentleman by opening doors, being respectful and just showing old school charm; this can also stimulate a woman’s mind.

6.Pure Emotion When you speak from the heart and are not afraid to share your innermost secrets with her, this shows that you trust her. This stimulates her mind and causes her to trust you with her innermost secrets. Openly express your emotions with her.

7.New Experiences If you frequently visit rhythm and blues venues, try something different. Maybe Jazz/Blues, Country/Western, Caribbean, salsa, piano bars, poetry night or something she hasn’t experienced before. Be creative.
8.No Pretending A woman can sense when you are not who you claim to be. Boasting about your six figure salary and all of your exquisite tastes will not stimulate a woman’s mind. Maybe a gold digger’s mind but not a woman seeking a true partnership. Research diverse topics and share your knowledge with her. If a woman senses you are running game, she will shut down and not trust you. All mental stimulation is lost. Be truthful and honest.
9.Earn Her Trust When a woman has the confidence in her man that he is a problem solver; she begins to let her guard down and trust you more. She opens up her heart to you, knowing you have her best interests in mind. She feels protected and safe. She knows you are safeguarding her heart. She can share things with you that the world doesn’t know. She can lean on you for strength when she is weak and you will catch her.

10. Sense of Humor Find ways to make her laugh. Find her unique sense of humor and keep her laughing. Laughter soothes the soul and will stimulate her mind.

The mind is a combination of three basic units; the primary processing unit, conscious mind, and the subconscious mind. All three units work together to run the mind either in consciousness or in autopilot mode through good & bad habits.

In the journey of life, your mind, the driver of the vehicle of your life drive the vehicle in three different ways; you consciously, your good habits subconsciously, and your bad habits subconsciously drive the vehicle of life.

How to understand a woman's mind

➡ Chapter 2: You Are Here

Understanding the mind is one of the difficult jobs from time immemorial but, it is not impossible. In this article, I shall let you know your mind in three stages:

Without further delay, let’s get started.

Mind, its components, and working

In its basic architecture, your mind consists of three parts; the primary processing unit, the conscious mind, and the subconscious mind.

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How to understand a woman's mind

Unwanted thoughts, emotions, and feelings are always ready to pass the gateway of the conscious mind; these are always ready to pop up to the processing unit by passing the barrier of the consciousness.

How to understand a woman's mind

In the mind, all the good or bad actions can happen only when it passes the gateway of the conscious mind to load into the primary processing unit.

So, making the conscious mind efficient through reprogramming the autopilot programs and developing a filter program for the conscious mind is the goal of life skills development.

The Functionalities of the Mind

Following are the four basic functionalities of the mind; the mind can be in any of the states when the processing unit is in action.

Autopilot Mode

The habits or autopilot programs developed through repeated actions over a period of time.

In the journey of life skill development, you have to develop certain autopilot programs that can filter out unnecessary thoughts or emotions and certain intelligent autopilot programs/ skills to map with your consciousness.

Engaged State

In this state only necessary thoughts or sensory input can pass the barrier of the conscious mind. All other unnecessary thoughts or sensory inputs are in polling state. But whenever any one of them passes of the barrier of the conscious mind, you get distracted.

Distraction can be of two types, internal distraction, and external distraction.

When an unwanted thought passes the barrier of the conscious mind to and loads into the primary processing unit, you get a distraction, and this is an internal distraction.

Suppose you are reading this article and suddenly your phone rings; you lost attention towards reading this article and you started reading your SMS, this is an example of external distraction.

Distraction has a lot of contribution towards hampering your intelligence, in the journey of life skill development; you have to train your mind to keep/divert your attention towards the right place at the right time to avoid distraction. For this reason, the first stage of life skill development begins with improving attention; you will come to know in detail about attention and distraction.

Structured Pattern of Thinking

This is the way of thinking a conscious person always seeks. In this state of mind, you only let the necessary thoughts and mental diets to pass the barrier of your conscious mind so that it can be processed in the primary processing unit.

Unstructured Pattern of Thinking

It is a way of thinking randomly without cognizance. When unwanted thoughts pass the boundary of your consciousness unknowingly, you might think a lot.

One of the major effects of unstructured thinking is the ‘Echo Effect’ . Suppose you have listened to a song many times in a day, in the evening, you are sitting idle and started singing the songs without your cognizance. This kind of situation happens with most of the people, but people are not aware of it.

In the era of the Internet, you might have observed certain bullish thing goes viral and people of every nook and cranny start gossiping about the topic for few days, then the topic expires and a new topic comes.

Understanding the mind through self-introspection

I hope you have understood how the subconscious mind is throwing tons of thoughts or emotions to pass the gateway of the conscious mind and the functionalities of the mind from the above two parts.

Now it’s time to understand unstructured thinking .

After you complete reading this paragraph; it’s time to sit comfortably, close your eyes and hold the idea in your mind that you are not the mind, you are somebody else observing the activities of the mind. Observe how thoughts are letting your awareness wander from here to there.

Now, you have to check unstructured pattern of thinking while your eyes are open.

Log in to your social media account and hold the idea that you are not the mind and you are observing the activity of the mind. Scroll down the home page of the social media account for a few minutes and count how many times your awareness wandered in response to different attentive posts in the home page.

Sometime, your unstructured thinking may hijack your attention for long and you might realize the hijack after a long gap.

If you are in engaged mode or in structured thinking , don’t divert your attention. But, make only one minute after an engaged activity and observe whether your attention was hijacked by unwanted thoughts.

I don’t think that you need to introspect how autopilot programs of habits work, you know it well.

Female Psychology: Understanding Why Women Are So Damn Difficult

Let’s face it – the sexes balance each other out. For example: men make money, and women make babies.

*ducks as bullets come flying*

Ok, now that the jokes are aside, we can get to the heart of the matter…

The fact is, there’s a biological imperative to balance estrogen and testosterone… or as Osho might say, the masculine and feminine polarity.

However you slice it, gender balance matters. The popularity of erectile dysfunction drugs is no accident. When birth ratios exceed the historically average 1.6 males per 1 female, shit gets whack. Violent crime increases, rape and prostitution abounds, and wars are started.

China and India – the former with it’s one-child policy, and the latter with its dowries – have already felt the pinch of under-feminization.

Crime rates have doubled in China in the last twenty years and female suicide rates are the highest in the world – quite possibly a consequence of how many baby girls are aborted.

Heavy stuff. Keep it in mind the next time your woman is giving you a hard time.

Let’s face it – it’s neither pleasant nor very dignifying when your woman is giving you shit. Yet it’s in this little corner of female psychology that us men can find the best of ourselves.

There are a lot of ways to describe it – getting shit, getting bitched at, getting a hard time… but around these parts we’ve got a catch-all phrase to describe this behavior: a test .

I picked up this term from David Deida, and if you’ve seen our premium training course, Unbreakable, you know that we see it as a fundamental part of male:female relationships.

Simply stated, your woman is going to test you. It’s part of her relationship role and embedded within her female psychology.

If you’re the strong guy that I want you to be, then you’re going to know how to pass the test with flying colors. And if you’re the good guy I hope you to be, then you’ll make lemonade of lemons, and use these tests to make your relationship better.

So, other than “when a girl bitches at me,” what constitutes a test, and how do we handle them?

Female Psychology: Tests of Insecurity

This unfortunate quirk of female psychology arises out a woman’s own insecurities. They come in the form of “tell me you love me,” “do you think she’s prettier than me?” and “who were you out flirting with tonight?

In some cases, they’re entirely reasonable. As I’ve learned firsthand, attending a bachelor party, in Rio, during Carnival, is enough to rattle even the most confident of girlfriends. A little reassurance and some FaceTime’ing is totally reasonable.

But, if you’re dating a girl whose insecurities begin to impose on your own happiness, well-being, and relationships with others, appeasement will gain you temporary reprieve, and not much more.

That’s because Tests of Insecurity are all about sucking you in – her insecurities create a negative emotional vortex, of sorts, that can only be filled by you. Or the next man who’ll tell her what she wants to hear.

And that’s the most damaging thing about insecurities, and specifically, about failing this test. A woman with low self-esteem will always be looking for the next thing to make her feel better about herself . Maybe a gift, maybe a trip, maybe the attention of another man.

You know when you’re being given one of these tests, because you feel an unmistakable combination of pity and frustration towards her . You feel like she’s sucking you in. And the only way to pass this test is to gently but unfailingly refuse to let it consume you.

You have to set your boundaries. If you really love her, the line is a big fat one, and you let her cross it a few times. Maybe you take the long view, and “work on it” with her – depends on how much drama you like in your life.

But make no mistake: the only way that your girl is going to stop giving you tests of insecurity is through her own growth.

Female Psychology: Tests of Strength

On the flip side, you have tests of strength: “Come back with your shield, or on it,” spoke Queen Gorgo in the man-epic 300.

I sometimes think of these as Mom Tests. You want to be lazy, step down, or run and hide. Mom’s not having any of it. “Don’t take that from bullies… you go back to school and punch him back!

A C+ on your test? That’s it – you’re grounded this weekend, and you’re studying twice as hard next time.” “Putting the toys under your bed doesn’t count as cleaning up – I want them where they belong.

They were bad enough when you were a kid, but they’re downright emasculating when you’re getting them from your girlfriend. You want to tell her to shut up, that it’s none of her business. You get mad at her for your own retreat and weakness.

And that’s how you know it’s a Test of Strength – it feels like a push… usually “out there” into the world. Towards something, or against someone. She’s trying to light a fire under your ass and give you the oomph you didn’t have on your own.

Why? Because she loves you. And the man who she fell in love with isn’t lazy. He doesn’t come home from work with his head hung low. He doesn’t put up with shit from others.

But somehow, he’s failing. It could be mere forgetfulness, or it could be outright defeat. He’s lost his fire… his drive… his “primary value,” as we call it on in our premium training course, Unbreakable.

There are two ways to pass these tests. The first is to accept and reflect upon your woman’s words, seeing in yourself the man who she expects you to be.

It seems emasculating at first… “to hell with this, I make my own choices, I don’t need her telling me what to be.” But if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that that’s just your ego getting defensive.

It’s happy in its state of safety and inertia, and it doesn’t want to get out there on the edge.

So while you may think that fighting with her is “winning,” it’s not.

It’s wearing her down, and if you have enough of those fights, she may just realize one day that you’re not, in fact, the man who she imagined you to be. That’s when you realize just how much you’ve lost.

But maybe it doesn’t get to that point. In fact, maybe you pass these tests… just by being you. Because you push yourself daily… because you’re already at your edge… because you’ve got fire and you breath it.

The female brain is quite different from the male brain. Just ask a few questions and watch the answers go in completely different directions.

Women are from Venus and men are from Mars. You ever heard that one before? Well, of course, you have, and it’s just a joke… mostly.

Sometimes, however, women and men really do feel like they are from two separate planets.

Here are the ways the male brain is so vastly different from the female brain:

  1. Men and women usedifferent parts of the brain to handle the same task.
  2. A woman’s brain is 10% smaller than a man’s brain, according to overall brain volume. However, it does not affect the levels of intelligence, and scientists are unsure of which regions hold the volume differences. , the male brain shrinks faster than the female.
  3. Women are more capable of managing multiple tasks, flowing simultaneously, while men tend to get irritated when they have to do several things at the same time. However, scientists have emphasized that it’s just a general tendency and not conclusive evidence.
  4. But… Men are faster to absorb information, so they are more responsive.
  5. Women tend toremember all the details, while men usually keep the main point in mind.
  6. If a man is lost, he will rememberthe direction and the traveled distance, and a woman will remember reference points on the road.
  7. Similarly, a male driver remembers the numeric value of the distance, while a woman driver usually remembers different road signs and shop windows.
  8. Yes, everyone was waiting for this topic, so here it is: men think about sex more often than women. A study found that in a one-week period, the average number of sex-related thoughts in men was 18.6 and for women, it was 9.9. Of course, it’s not true for nymphomaniacs or people with various mental disorders.
  9. Men tend to be more analytic and, therefore, excel at exact sciences, and women have higher empathy and are thus better at social sciences.
  10. Men and women respond differently to harsh and irritating sounds.
  11. Women also tend to be more talkative. The pleasure center of the female brain could have to do with their sociability. So, in general, conversation brings more pleasure to women. Women seem to use nearly three times as many words a day as men do. (Of course, if we don’t consider introverted women)
  12. When a loved one hugs a woman, it improves her happiness and self-confidence.
  13. Men and women have a different perception of humor. Men are more focused on a funny outcome of a story or a show, while women are more likely to enjoy the subtleties of humor and the used language.
  14. Women are, by nature, more sociable as they find social interaction more rewarding, as we have said above. At the same time, men are moreaggressively competitive. That is why men are more likely to engage in a fight. For the same reason, women may get irritated by the fact that men refuse to support long conversations with them.
  15. The male ear is weaker than its female counterpart. That is why women can hear subtle intonations and men – not always so. Also, in terms of tactile perception, men lose.
  16. Women tend to have more fully developedorganizational skills.
  17. If a man sees a ball on the road, he will probably hit it, while a woman is likely to pick it up.
  18. Female brains heat up more, as more glucose is “burnt”.
  19. Men perceive speech with logic so that they hear exactly what is said, while women use their intuition and emotion. This helps women easier see hints and hidden meanings behind other people’s words.

How exactly is the male brain wired, in comparison with the female one?

I’d like to share the results of one particular study in more detail.

Having spent countless hours in workshops and having studied more than 1,000 brain scans, scientists came to a conclusion that confirms the old common belief stating that the male brain works in a different way than the female one.

The map of the “neural circuit” of the average female brain contains a larger number of connections between the left and right hemispheres, contrasted with the male one, where the connection in regions between the back and the front of the brain is predominantly stronger.

Scientists found how the parts of the brain “communicate” with each other in men and women. In men, signals are transmitted mainly within a certain brain hemisphere (blue lines), and in woman, on the contrary, – between the hemispheres (orange lines). Image credit: National Academy of Sciences/PA

Ragini Verma, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania, speaking at the Guardian, admitted that the big surprise was that the findings essentially confirmed stereotypes.

That is, men are wired for perception and coordination, while women have enhanced social skills and memory, which explains why they better cope with multitasking.

According to Verma, the left side of the brain is responsible for logical thinking while the right one – for intuitive thinking. So, when a task engages both hemispheres, women are doing it better.

It also explains why women are better listeners. Another impressive discovery was that male and female brains are essentially complementary.

Opposites attract

All the above sounds like quite a few differences, doesn’t it?

Well, taking a look at the bigger picture will show how these various characteristics actually complement one another.

So, the statement about men and women being from opposite planets could mean they have come from other worlds in order to enhance our own. And this is figuratively speaking, of course.

What would it be like if the male brain and the female brain were exactly the same?

Without mixing the logic of the male brain and the emotion of the female brain, I think, we would be pretty dull creatures.

How to understand a woman's mind

How to understand a woman's mindPhoto: © Yash Raj Films (Main Image)

For most women, a courtship or a relationship is often about testing the man they are with.

And these tests are almost always done with the intention of being in control of the relationship.

Are men judged on the basis of mind game questions that women play?

The typical guy is usually clueless about the games women play.

Here are the top five games women play in the dating world, explicitly deciphered just for you:

Playing Hard To Get Game

You like this particular girl, who refuses to neither move in nor move back. She sends all the right signals, but when you try and respond to them she just pulls back.

Why does she do it

This isn’t always just a matter of her trying to present herself as a challenge. Most women are wary of getting into a relationship if there is an emotional risk involved. So she might be just testing the waters to make sure that you’re worth the risk.

What you should do

If she’s not clear about her feelings for you but is giving you the “I’m interested” signals, then show her you feel the same way. But don’t overdo it, as you still want to remain a challenge. Just let her understand that there are a lot more grapes in the bunch so you can easily look elsewhere if things don’t seem to work out.

The Waiting Game

She had almost eagerly given you her contact information. And you tried calling her and even texted her asking her to get in touch and guess what? She didn’t get back. Hours or even days may pass before she returns your call.

Why does she do it

It’s her way of biding her time so that she doesn’t seem too eager or interested. She doesn’t want to think that she can be had so easily.

What you should do

After a few days, you can call her up again just to make sure that she got all those messages. Keep your tone very polite but curt. Let her get the message that if she doesn’t respond this time, you’re going to move on!

The Silent Treatment Game

She suddenly becomes as frosty as an orange slushy and you have no idea what you have done to arouse her wrath.

Why does she do it

She is upset or angry and feels you are responsible for it but she wants you to figure it out for yourself.

What you should do

When she behaves like this and refuses to communicate with you, chances are that whatever you did isn’t all that serious. Perhaps, you didn’t notice her new earrings or wolfed down the chocolate cake that she had baked from scratch without appreciating and congratulating her for her efforts.

So, don’t keep asking her again and again about where you went wrong, as this will only make her all the more frosty. The fact is that if you honestly have no idea where you had slipped you simply can’t apologise. Give her the space she needs to cool down and use the time trying to figure out where you could have gone wrong.

When she feels ready to talk again she will approach you, glare at you with those big beautiful eyes, make huffing sounds that would make her look all the more desirable. Just hold her and cuddle her and ask her where you went wrong and sincerely apologise no matter how trivial you think your error was.

How to understand a woman's mind

The Playing Clueless Game

She starts acting all confused and helpless and suddenly you find yourself driving all across the town, and wasting an entire day doing her bidding.

Why does she do it

This usually happens when she wants you to do something for her that she wouldn’t do herself. To get you to take care of it, she’ll act clueless and play on the “I don’t know how to do that” angle.

What you should do

Be sure if she’s play-acting or is genuinely in need of help. Though, you can sometimes suck it up and do it yourself. But if you make a habit of it, then she will too. The best thing would be to teach her whatever she doesn’t know, while you do it. This way, she’ll have no excuse the next time around. Also, most women just act clueless to get your attention and it’s rather cute!

The “We Need To Talk” Game

You come back from office dead tired and all you want to do is grab a beer, switch on the TV and chill. Then disaster strikes. Your girlfriend just makes up her mind to suddenly start talking about her problems. Really pressing ones, that requires switching off the TV, putting away the beer and listening to her.

Why does she do it

You are once again being tested by your girl, who wants to be sure where your priorities lie. She craves for your attention and she wants it now.

What you should do

While I know that you would rather watch the game, it would be better to switch off the telly for a few minutes and focus your attention only on her. While what she wants to talk about might seem trivial as compared to the game you are watching, asking her to wait for the game to end may result in a fight.

So, even if India wins that match, the verbal lashing you would have to tolerate will completely kill the euphoria that you would have otherwise felt.

So, there you have it, some of the many *mind* games that women have mastered over the ages. Devious, underhanded or plain stupid–these tricks have worked for centuries and the only way you can tackle them is by being calm, using your common sense and refusing to be bullied or cajoled into doing something you don’t want.