Five strategies can help.
The cognitive impact of feeling perpetually overwhelmed can range from mental slowness, forgetfulness, confusion, difficulty concentrating or thinking logically, to a racing mind or an impaired ability to problem solve. When we have too many demands on our thinking over an extended period of time, cognitive fatigue can also happen, making us more prone to distractions and our thinking less agile. Any of these effects, alone, can make us less effective and leave us feeling even more overwhelmed. If you are feeling constantly overwhelmed, the author offers five strategies to try.
Five strategies can help.
Our work lives have become increasingly demanding, presenting us with ever more complex challenges at a near-relentless pace. Add in personal or family needs, and it’s easy to feel constantly overwhelmed. In their book, Immunity to Change, Harvard professors Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey discuss how the increase in complexity associated with modern life has left many of us feeling “in over our heads.” When this is the case, the complexity of our world has surpassed our “complexity of mind” or our ability to handle that level of complexity and be effective. This has nothing to do with how smart we are, but with how we make sense of the world and how we operate in it.
Our typical response to ever-growing workloads is to work harder and put in longer hours, rather than to step back and examine what makes us do this and find a new way of operating. I have a few clients who fit this description. When we started working together, they each had already resorted to getting up at 4 AM to do work. Sue, who works for a tech company that recently went public, is leading many simultaneous projects and is fearful she’ll miss an important email. Ajay, a senior leader at a late-stage start-up, needs the extra quiet time to try to make a dent in his ever-growing to-do list, but feels like he’s trying to dig himself out of a hole that just keeps getting deeper. Maria, a start-up co-founder, felt constantly overwhelmed as her company started to scale. While CEOs of trillion dollar companies like Apple’s Tim Cook, wake up at 3:45 AM, most of us don’t have quite this level of responsibility.
The cognitive impact of feeling perpetually overwhelmed can range from mental slowness, forgetfulness, confusion, difficulty concentrating or thinking logically, to a racing mind or an impaired ability to problem solve. When we have too many demands on our thinking over an extended period of time, cognitive fatigue can also happen, making us more prone to distractions and our thinking less agile. Any of these effects, alone, can make us less effective and leave us feeling even more overwhelmed. If you are feeling constantly overwhelmed, here are some key strategies to try:
Pinpoint the primary source of overwhelm. Ask yourself the question, “What one or two things, if taken off my plate would alleviate 80% of the stress that I feel right now?” While you may still be responsible for these items and cannot actually take them off your plate, this question can still help you identify a significant source of your stress. If it’s a big project that’s almost done, finish it. Or, if it’s the sheer size of the task or project that is overwhelming you, break it down into more manageable components, ask for additional resources or renegotiate the deadline if you are able — or all of the above.
Set boundaries on your time and workload. This can include “time boxing” the hours you spend on a task or project, leaving the office by a certain time, or saying no to specific types of work. Ajay realized he was spending a significant amount of time mediating conflicts between various team members, which was not only an unproductive use of his time, but also reinforced their behavior of escalating issues to him instead of learning to resolve these problems themselves. Saying “no” to these escalations and setting expectations that they do their best to work out these issues before coming to him, created more breathing room for him to focus on his priorities with fewer distractions.
Challenge your perfectionism. Perfectionism can lead us to make tasks or projects bigger than they need to be, which can lead to procrastination and psychological distress. As things pile up, the sense of overwhelm grows, which can then lead to more procrastination and more overwhelm. Sheryl Sandberg famously said, “Done is better than perfect.” Know when “good” is “good enough” by asking yourself, “What is the marginal benefit of spending more time on this task or project?” If the answer is very little, stop where you are and be done with it. Part of this is also recognizing that we cannot do everything perfectly. Sue was finally able to accept that sometimes an email will be overlooked, and that if it’s important enough, the other person will follow up with her.
Outsource or delegate. Ask yourself, “What is the highest and best use of my time?” Activities that don’t fall within your answer can be taught and/or delegated to others. This can include managing selected projects, delegating attending certain meetings, having a team member conduct the initial interviews for an open position, or outsourcing the cleaning of your home and meal preparation. Maria had the revelation that she should delegate the weekly Sales meeting that she had always led to — of all people — the Head of Sales! She realized she had hired this person over a year ago but was still clinging to certain responsibilities that “she had always done,” and had never fully empowered him, for fear of giving up control. In the end, she admitted all she really needed was an email update. By letting go of this one task, she freed up 52 hours a year to focus on other high-priority strategic issues.
Challenge your assumptions. If feeling overwhelmed is an ongoing struggle, it is likely that you have assumptions that are keeping you stuck in unproductive behaviors. Kegan and Lahey refer to these as “Big Assumptions.” For Sue, it was the belief that “If something falls through the cracks, I’d fail and wouldn’t be able to recover from it.” In Ajay’s case, it was his belief that “If I’m not there to help others, I won’t be needed and people will question my value.” For Maria, her assumption was “If I lose control, others will mess up, and the company will fail.” While these big assumptions felt real to each leader, these limiting beliefs were not likely 100% true and kept them stuck in old patterns that significantly contributed to their sense of overwhelm. By identifying and debunking these beliefs over time, they were able to broaden their previously contracted view of the world, which in turn allowed them to reduce their overwhelm and provided them with a greater sense of agency.
While we may all feel overwhelmed from time to time in our demanding work and personal lives, employing the above strategies can help mitigate the frequency and extent to which we feel this way.
August 3, 2021 by Rachel
Help others heal by sharing!
What is wrong with me? Here’s how understanding early trauma, coping mechanisms, and coming back to the truth of who you are will all help you understand that there is nothing wrong with you.
There’s nothing wrong with you. There never has been. There never will be.
We’ve all been born into a broken system.
Most of us were born into a capitalist, patriarchal system that does not value compassion, connection, environmentalism, natural medicine, or energy management.
These are foundational pieces of holistic wellness.
Additionally, we are born into broken family systems as well. Our parents did the best they could with the resources they had. Same with their parents and the parents before them.
We are also carrying generational traumas and familial patterns. These generational traumas and patterns can both be physical toxicity and energetic toxicity.
In order to cope, we develop these mechanisms and energetic patterns, and we get stuck.
Your Early Trauma
Early on, typically before the age of 7, there were some core needs that weren’t met for every single one of us.
You might say that you had a normal upbringing and didn’t experience this.
Everyone experienced something traumatic. Not having your needs met is also a form of trauma.
In addition to personal trauma, there is also generational trauma.
It takes thousands of ancestors to make you.
Think of their experiences – loss of life, loss of children, loss of spouses, wars, lack of safety, abuse, famine. Some cultural groups have even more trauma than other groups.
This is carried forward with us.
Your DNA was physically inside of your grandmother. We are physically connected two generations back, and we are energetically connected much more than that.
We are carrying a lot of stuff that isn’t ours. Our society is wounded.
Our values are wounded. We develop these coping mechanisms that are signs of our imbalances.
You did not do anything wrong. You are not flawed.
So Many Coping Mechanisms
Early in life, we develop a set of coping mechanisms that allow us to function in these very broken energetic patterns.
These coping mechanisms could be emotional eating, addiction, or hyperactivity of the central nervous system. This then develops into health problems such as adrenal fatigue, chronic viral infections, chronic bacterial infections, chronic fatigue, etc.
From this, physical ailments, emotional ailments, disconnection from your intuition, disconnection from your purpose, and lack of embodiment result.
None of these things is anything you did wrong.
You were born into a system that didn’t support being fully embodied in the present moment.
Our system isn’t based on compassion, faith, or surrender.
Perhaps you got some of this in your family upbringing or religious patterns that you were born into, but unfortunately, a lot of the religious teachings are fairly broken or manipulated.
So, we are just coping with the set of circumstances and the wounded inner child.
What is Wrong with Me?
Nothing is wrong with you. Read that again.
A piece of our soul is stuck in the trauma of the past.
There is nothing wrong with us if we have ADD, ADHD, social anxiety, or we feel like we can’t find our thing in life.
It’s not your fault. It’s not your parents’ fault.
That’s what lightworkers are here to change.
That change happens one person at a time.
Coming Back to the Truth of Who You Are
Your job is to become more aligned with the truth of who you are.
When you come back to the truth of who you are and you heal the inner child, you heal those wounds.
Then, you start to move those traumas out of your tissues, and you can come back to the truth of who you are in the present moment.
Riding the Highs and Lows
You come back to center, rather than swinging from one extreme to the next.
Most of us feel like we are riding highs and lows swinging on a pendulum.
You can find alignment and get centered. There is peace in the present moment.
You release trauma that’s held in your DNA, and you no longer carry it forward for yourself or your ancestors.
Nothing is Wrong with Me Take-Aways
I used to think I was strange and different. I thought everyone else was happy and living their best life, and I was just a weirdo.
The truth is we are all weirdos.
We are all unique and different and we need to honor this.
This starts with doing your inner healing work.
You are a beautiful, powerful, co-creator of your reality.
As you become more empowered and embodied, you’ll become more connected to your intuition.
Remember, there is nothing wrong with you.
You’ll become magnetic and unleash your powers. You’ll be guided by your higher self and spirit.
That may seem far away, but the first step is to realize that you are a beautiful extension of Source.
I hope that resonated with you and gives you clarity and empowerment about who you are!
“I don’t know what to do.” “I’m in a rut.” “I feel stuck.” Is this something you’re feeling right now? Don’t worry, you’re not alone and this is a very common problem.
When nothing exciting happens and you can’t seem to make that step forward and change things, you may get frustrated and depressed…
And exactly for times like this, we have created the video below with the list of 10 most important things to remember when you’re feeling stuck in life.
Have a look, this WILL help you.
(BY the way, you may want to save this list and refer back to it as needed).
10 Things To Remember When You’re Feeling Stuck In Life
1. Feeling stuck is a sign that it’s time to make a change.
Changes can shake-up your patterns, create new energy and change your outlook on life. If you feel stuck, this simply means that something isn’t working for you anymore. Whether it’s your job, your relationship, your house, your circle of friends or your hobbies, if you are not excited about them anymore, it’s probably time to finally do something to change it.
And next time don’t wait until you feel completely stuck in life to make that big step forward. Look out for these 8 signs that change is needed.
2. Even the tiniest possible step is progress.
You may think that there is nothing substantial you can do. But you don’t need to. Small things become big things. Focus on small steps, they are wonderful events on their own, so enjoy them.
Start right now, make a list of tiny ways you can get closer to your goal, then pick one and take it as soon as possible.
3. You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward.
The thing with feeling stuck is that sometimes you don’t know what you need to get unstuck or what you want from life in general. But this “numbness” and “emptiness” that you’re feeling (temporarily!) should not stop you from making a change.
Even if you don’t see the end result and don’t know where it is exactly that you’re going, it is crucial to just start moving. Try new things, meet new people, buy new clothes – anything that can help you figure out what it is that you want and how to get it.
4. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Unpleasant truth. If you are just sitting around and waiting for something or someone to come into your life and suddenly change it for the better, you’re not going to get very far. YOU are the only one who can really make a difference. So start acting!
5. New beginnings can feel like endings.
Now, you may not actually see the opportunities that are coming your way. Those endings that make you sad and disappointed should be seen as new beginning. This is a new chapter in your life, your chance to change your life.
6. Beautiful things happen when you clear your life of all the negativity.
Negativity often comes hand in hand with feeling stuck. So your number one priority is removing toxicity from your life. And you can start with surrounding yourself with positive people and getting rid of the negative ones. Here are 8 types of toxic people you should walk away from.
7. Believe what your heart tells you, not what others say.
Ask yourself this – are you living someone else’s life? Are other people influencing your every decision? Remember that it’s YOUR life.
Here is what you can do:
- Have fun and experiment. Discover what it is that YOU like and care about.
- Spend time with yourself. Being alone isn’t a bad thing.
- Set boundaries. People should respect your choices and your individuality.
- Invest in your self-awareness.
- Question your beliefs.
- Take a step back and think about the bigger picture.
8. Stop overthinking.
Whatever happens, happens. Just relax. You cannot control everything, so you need to learn to just let go of some things. You may be feeling stuck because you are always in your own head, worrying and obsessing.
9. If it’s meant to be, it will happen at the right time, at the right place, for the right reasons.
Even though you are the one who is responsible for making a change in your life, you need to stay open-minded about how to do it. If you’re sticking to a specific way but failing, it may be because it just wasn’t meant for you. Try something else. And accept that things happen in a different order than the one you’ve got planned.
10. Your best is yet to come.
Don’t look back, you’re not going that way. Keep moving forward. Good things CAN happen and ARE going to happen.
Find Out What Could Be Holding You Back
It’s vital right now that nothing is holding you back from using The Law Of Attraction effectively! Get started and take our free quiz now…
This opportunity includes:
- Professional tips based on work with over 5.5 MILLION people (in 108+ countries).
- A free personalized abundance reading identifying what’s holding you back.
- A free video that teaches you how to apply the Law Of Attraction effectively in your life.
“It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.”
We’ve all felt like we’re drowning in mud.
You feel stuck, worthless, and confused.
You want to move. You should. You have to. But you can’t.
And then it evolves into anxiety, fear, and overwhelm.
But what if—just what if—being stuck isn’t the problem, but how we perceive it?
The Truth About Being Stuck
Every year, I have periods where I feel “stuck.”
Yet when I look closer, I see that “being stuck” is a label I give to a natural part of life.
It’s a time when not much happens. The anxiety comes when I think it should be otherwise. I start to force myself to work, to come up with ideas, and to make things happen.
And when I don’t get anywhere, I call it being stuck.
So, what is being stuck except the way I perceive life?
As I write this, I’ve been in a stuck period for the last few months. The difference is that I struggle less, because I’m beginning to let it be.
Why We Get Stuck
You get stuck when you think you should be something you’re not. When you think life should be different than it is.
I know I’m trying to force myself to do something when words like ”should,” ”have to,” and ”must” enter my mind.
When I relax and surrender to this quiet period in my life, things seem okay. I see that I can’t control life. I can only notice what life brings to me.
The Secret to Being Stuck Completely
Being stuck is like quicksand. The more you try to get out, the deeper you sink.
My mind wants to push, control, and manipulate. It stems from insecurity. I want to be secure, be loved, and be remarkable.
I think that if I could just control life, all would be well.
It’s not until I face reality that things begin to lift. Here are three things I do:
1. Give up.
When you’re stuck, surrender to being stuck.
I notice the thoughts and feelings within me that say that I’m stuck, and that something is wrong.
If I stay completely in this moment, there is no being stuck. There is only the label of a situation—a label that I’ve invented based on what I think my life should look like.
When I notice all this going on, I breathe a deep sigh of relief.
But that doesn’t mean that the feelings go away. I might still feel the anxiety, but it doesn’t have a death grip on me anymore.
I can see the play of thoughts. I can surrender to what comes.
And I still fall into resisting, but I’m getting better at letting it be what it is. I’m getting better at enjoying being stuck.
The funny thing is that when we enjoy being stuck, we’re not stuck anymore, because being stuck was all in our head.
2. Enjoy yourself.
There’s always something you feel drawn to do during these periods. You’re not completely stuck, not in every area of your life.
Right now, I’m reading books. I’m playing with my son. I’m watching movies and TV shows (the British version of Sherlock is amazing).
And on occasion, I’m writing articles like this, expressing what I feel.
I do the work I need to do. But then I let myself have fun.
It’s easy for me to feel guilty during this period because I feel like I’m not doing enough. But I’ve learned to see that I’m doing the best I can.
It’s another example of getting stuck in the story that I tell myself.
I am who I am. I’m doing what I can do. That’s enough.
And right now, that means doing less. The tide will shift soon enough.
The same is true for you. Do what you can, but go easy on yourself.
At times when I feel truly stuck, I write.
I don’t have a system or structure. I get a piece of paper and I write. I like to write by hand, the old fashioned way. It seems to clear my head more than writing on my computer.
What I do is write down everything going on in my head. No censoring. No looking back.
I let everything come out, especially the nasty bits.
The more I do this, the more I notice repeating patterns. I see how I want to change what is, and how futile it is.
The more aware I become, the more these things fall away.
When you truly become aware of what goes on inside of your head, you start to let go because you see how you create your own suffering.
My Biggest Mistake
When we resist what is, we suffer. That’s true for anything in life.
When I try to change what is, I poison myself from the inside out.
But with time, I’ve learned to see my resistance as a sign to relax. To see that I can only do my best with what I have, then it’s out of my hands.
There’s no pushing needed. Life lives itself through me, because I am life.
I am not separate from anything or anyone. I am this planet. I am the stars. I am you.
I sometimes wonder why we think we are not supported in life. We come into this world through a womb, where we’re supported.
The trees in the forest are supported. Yet we believe we’re the exception. Are we? I don’t think we are.
We just think that life should look different than it does. But the fact that life isn’t what you think it is shows that you’re wrong.
Let Things Be
Whether you feel stuck for a week or for a year doesn’t really matter.
You do the best you can with what you have.
But something I’ve noticed is that the longer I’m stuck, and the more I surrender to it, the more I learn when I come out of it.
It is the darkest periods of my life that have taught me the most about myself.
I’ve learned that life isn’t all about accomplishing things. Sometimes it’s about resting and letting things be.
These periods are no different than the seasons. There’s sun. There’s snow. There’s light, and there’s darkness.
Once you let it be what it is, things change because your perception changes.
But beware of making this another thing you have to do. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself be completely stuck.
And let yourself fight it, because you will.
Just because we can’t control a situation doesn’t mean anxiety will stay dormant. To break the anxiety-control-anxiety cycle, practice just letting it go.
I found myself in a peculiar situation this earlier this morning as I was waiting for the contractor coming to fix my fence.
I’d emailed him the day before letting him know I had a meeting to be at 10:00. He responded saying he’d be here before 10:00.
When I woke up, I was already a little on the anxious side – I had a new workshop I was presenting today: Mindfulness Made Simple!
As the morning progressed, I could feel myself getting more anxious as this battle of thoughts took place in my head:
‘What if I he doesn’t get here by the time I need to leave?’
‘He said he would be here – did I make a mistake hiring this company?’
‘He knew I had to leave for my meeting at 10:00, where is he’
I could feel myself getting even more anxious and as I did, I found myself getting short tempered.
I remember at one point starting to get angry with my dogs for doing something they do every day!
It was at that moment I realized I had to do SOMETHING.
I asked myself this simple question… “Is there anything I can DO to control when he gets here?”
My answer: NO – I have no control over it.
I had to “Let it go”.
Wow! The anxiety that had been building up all morning long, suddenly vanished. I felt RELIEF!
I realized that when I couldn’t CONTROL things is when I began to feel more & more anxious…
And the more I tried to CONTROL things around me!
It becomes a destructive cycle: anxiety – try to control – anxiety – try to control – ANXIETY – try to control….
So, the next time you’re in a situation where you’re feeling stuck, or out of control, or anxious – use this same LifeTOOL:
Step 1: Ask yourself this question out loud: “Is there anything I can DO to control _________ (fill in the blank!).”
Step 2: If not – LET IT GO!
Sharing is caring!
It’s one of those things that sneaks up on you. You’ve been building up to this for months, all the excitement of welcoming your new little bundle of joy into the world, and it’s finally here. You’ve made it through those first nights that are flooded with blissful hormones, extreme exhaustion and spent hours just watching that beautiful little baby.
After a little while, the visitors get back to doing what they normally do, your partner goes back to work, everyone settles back into their normal. But things are different for you. Your normal has changed.
Pre-baby it was easy to leave the house. You’d just get up and go. You could do things whenever you wanted. Pee whenever you wanted. Duck out and grab some groceries or take away. Head out to a cafe for lunch. A kind of freedom you didn’t even realise you had.
But after your baby arrives, it can be easy to start feeling trapped with a newborn. Getting out of the house seems like a marathon effort. It feels like you have to take all the things you know, just in case. This little baby now relies on you for everything, it can be a little overwhelming.
I promise this feeling will pass. It won’t last forever and you’ll soon find your groove. But until then, there are ways you can cope with feeling trapped with a newborn and start to feel a little more independent again.
1 – Take Moments Of Time Alone
I know it seems impossible right now, the thought of actually having time alone, but you can find little moments with a bit of coordination. Get hubby on board and let him know you need some time alone and some ‘zero touch’ time. You don’t have to spend hours on your own. A bit of time here and there can really be refreshing.
You can start by having a disruption-free shower. Make sure your hubby knows he is only to disturb you in an emergency – anything else he can handle. You could even do a nice hot bath if that’s your kind of thing. Whether it’s for 10 minutes or an hour, every moment helps.
If you really need some space to breathe, leave your baby home with hubby and get out of the house. 10 minutes of alone time can do wonders. Don’t stress about making yourself presentable, and you don’t even have to interact with anyone else if you don’t want. Go sit in a park for 30 minutes and enjoy the quiet.
2 – Ask For Help
You know all of those people who say ‘if you need anything, let me know’? Let them know! Ask for help and start delegating. I know this is a big deal for some (myself included) but you don’t have to do everything on your own.
Asking a friend to make dinner for you, or to even come around and just sit with you and chat can do you the world of good.
Also, make sure you’re communicating to your partner what it is you need. All of this is new for them too and they may not know what it is you need help with. Ask. If you want them to hold the baby for a while because you’re feeling all touched out, then ask.
You’ve got a much better chance of receiving what you want and need if you ask for it.
3 – Outsource Tasks
Asking for help doesn’t mean you just have to ask friends and family for help. It means you can hire help and outsource the tasks that are time-consuming and easy to get someone else to do.
Hire a cleaner to come in once a week (or even more), pay someone to do your ironing and find someone to cook healthy meals and snacks for you so you’ve got food ready when you need it. There are so many sites you can post for help on (like AirTasker) and you don’t have to commit to long-term if you don’t want.
4 – Ensure You’re Eating Well
When you’re feeling trapped with a newborn at home it can be difficult to eat well. Just the thought of going out and buying groceries can be so overwhelming so eating whatever is on hand seems the easiest option. But eating poorly isn’t going to give you the nutrition for energy that you need – and with a newborn baby, you need a whole lot of energy.
Order your groceries online and get them delivered, get hubby to help by cooking meals and meal planning, or refer to #2 and #3 and ask for help or hire it out.
Keeping healthy food on hand is so important – when you eat poorly, you feel like crap and it’s easier to feel more overwhelmed and stuck.
5 – Get Out Of The House
Here’s the thing, yes it feels so frickin overwhelming, and yes it feels like it is the biggest task and takes so much energy, but the only way you’re going to get more comfortable in doing it is by doing it.
This doesn’t mean you have to get out every day or be out for hours on end. But set little trips and then be sure to acknowledge how awesome you are for doing them.
Also, prepare yourself so these outings are easier. Have two bags you can grab to take out of the house – one that has ALL the things, another that just has the essentials (nappies, wipes and a change of clothes) that you can grab for quick trips. You don’t need to pack everything and the kitchen sink. Buy a wrap (like this one) or a carrier (like this one) to make grocery shopping easier. We rarely use a pram or stroller in the first few months.
If you’re going out to meet a friend, you’ll be even more motivated to get out of the house and you’ll have a set time you need to be there by.
Most importantly, don’t push yourself to the point where you’re having panic attacks. And be mindful if this ‘trapped’ feeling lasts more than a few weeks – it could be a sign of Post Natal Depression and something that you should definitely talk to your healthcare provider about.
This feeling will pass, if you want to stay home with your baby then by all means do that, but if you’re feeling trapped with a newborn then try a few of these things and see if they can help you feel better and happier and able to enjoy that gorgeous little baby of yours even more.
Download Your FREE Daily Planning Pages
Fill in your details below to receive your FREE copy of my 3 favourite Planning Pages I use every day!
Your Daily Planning Printables are on their way. Be sure to check your spam folder if you don’t see them in the next few minutes. x – Krystal
Whether it’s lasted a few days or much longer, at some point most of us have been “there”: feeling stuck between where our lives are and where we want them to be. This feeling can happen in our jobs and professional networks; at home with family, friends and other communal connections; or in other areas of life such as our creativity and our health. Being stuck can even happen in our financial lives.
So how do we get “unstuck,” especially when we start to worry that our circumstances and our financial lives are destined to remain unchanged?
We at The Humphreys Group believe a crucial first step to getting unstuck when it comes to money matters is to engage in multiple levels of self-assessment. We use a powerful and effective variety of talk strategies, writing tools and thought guides with our clients that encourage them to move forward, in ways that align with who they are and what they value, toward determining and realizing their financial goals. What we do helps clients:
- Establish where they are strong, satisfied and advancing their financial plans — for example: low debt; steady income; healthy spending, saving and investing habits; providing for themselves and other family members.
- Realize areas of their financial knowledge and practices that may need a boost, such as developing a long-term financial strategy; managing stress about fiscal matters; and making investment choices.
- Explore whether they are affected by negative myths about women and money, which include wrongly-held beliefs that women overspend, are too emotional about investing or lack self-confidence when it comes managing finances.
- Discover what motivates them to get unstuck. We encourage each client to determine her unique values and priorities as a way to focus on behaviors and mindsets that will enable her to move forward with assertiveness in life and when making financial planning decisions.
- Implement strategies that prompt clients to shift into action and engagement in their financial circumstances, perhaps by starting with a set of small daily goals and reaching them; writing about their goals; tackling difficult conversations about money; or regularly meeting with advisors for additional advice and insight regarding their financial plans.
To assist with your efforts in getting unstuck on your journey toward increasing your financial confidence and knowledge, we invite you to download a free copy of our new book, “Rewriting the Rules: Telling the Truth about Women and Money”, as an additional resource. We also recommend you contact The Humphreys Group to discuss how we can support and further unlock the financial knowledge and smarts you already possess.
We all get confused at times, but prolonged periods of confusion can cause us to feel that we are stuck in a never-ending, foggy web of uncertainty.
Confusion can make us feel powerless, anxious, stressed and a whole host of other draining emotions.
But what if I told you that confusion was good for you?
Yes, while confusion can stir up a seamlessly never-ending cloud of fog that envelops everything around you, it is also a sign of great and powerful change.
Think about it. If everything made sense to you all the time, how would you ever grow?
If you were always 100 percent certain about every decision you made or every fork in the road, how would you ever shift or evolve?
Confusion does serve a higher purpose.
When you feel confused, it is a sign that your mind is expanding a little more. It is a sign that you are allowing your heart, mind, body and soul to make room for something that wasn’t there before.
Being confused is really a process of opening up .
Instead of just marching on ahead at that fork in the road, you are taking the time to process, learn and understand things. You are taking the time to open yourself to a possibility of something else.
To those who are currently caught up in the web of confusion, this may not make sense just yet, but stick with me.
Here is what you can do to overcome your confusion and find the joy:
1. Accept where you are.
Accept the fog, accept the confusion and accept the feelings of “stuckness.” Sometimes you get stuck because you are meant to be stuck. This is usually a sign that more information needs to be delivered before you can move forward.
2. Take a deep breath.
Center yourself, and firmly state, “I don’t know what to do, and that is okay.” When you firmly state your uncertainty, you move out of the fog and into certainty. The more you focus on your certainty, the more at peace you will feel with where you are at.
3. Focus on what you know.
When you are confused it can be easy to get stuck in a web of consistent, repetitive thoughts that appear to have no end and no beginning. To clear this, start focusing on what you don’t feel confused about. Start focusing on what you know and what you feel sure about. When you do this, it will automatically help to weaken the cloud of confusion over your life.
4. Be patient.
Being confused is a sign of change and you may need to let the journey unfold a little bit more before you make a decision. Be at peace with that, and be at peace with the fact that you don’t have all the answers. Just accept the way things are and trust that inspiration will reach you when the time comes to make a decision.
If you do need to make an immediate decision during a period of blissful confusion, the best thing to do is tune into the wisdom of your heart.
When you are stuck in the fog and you can’t see clearly ahead, the best asset you have is your gut. Go with how you feel, and go with your truth.
Begin taking a step forward and see how it feels. If it feels good, keep walking in that direction. Keep it slow and steady until you are ready to take that leap of faith.
The beauty about being stuck and confused in life is that there really is no wrong turn or wrong path.
Every road traveled is a blessing in some way, so take the stress out of life’s decisions and trust that all roads really do lead home.