You can tell a lot about a man by how he acts in a strip club. Does he treat it like a consequence-free environment, or does he act like the same person he is outside? So many of my co-workers at the club make no personal use of all their professional experiences observing and interacting with different types of men.
In fact, I know they’re ignoring this inside knowledge, because I hear at least one screaming fight on a cell phone a night in the dressing room. Some of us are thinking, “Girl, when he made you pay for two dates in a row, you should’ve known,” or “That man is a serial stripper dater — what were you thinking?”
Bad boyfriends reveal themselves pretty readily whether they’re dating or in the club, and I’m here to connect the dots, so you don’t have to waste your time.
Obviously, not all men frequent strip clubs, but all types of men do. Here are five types of guys you shouldn’t date because they make such bad boyfriends, in the club and out.
1. The Control Freak
One of my married-with-kids co-workers was talking about her latest Skype conversation with her enlisted husband. She was getting ready for work, putting on her makeup and video-chatting, when he asked, “Why isn’t your hair straight? Why is it curly?” “Well, I’m tired of straightening it every time I go in,” she told him. “I just thought I’d wear it curly for once.” He angrily informed her that “‘Macy’ (her stage name) has straight hair. MY WIFE has curly hair.”
Needless to say, by the time she got to work, her hair was straight. As customers, these guys say things like, “If you were my woman, I’d never let you do this.” I don’t want to know what else he doesn’t think he would “let his woman” do.
It’s a short step to crazy jealousy when he insists he’s just really loving you when he doesn’t want you to go out for girls’ nights or keep exes as Facebook friends. It’s all part of an eventual plan to control and isolate “his woman” from the world.
2. The Creep
I worked with the sweetest girl — whose husband would show people a camera phone photo of her in mid-facial. Yikes. It’s nice to date someone who’s cool with you taking your clothes off for a living, but someone who gets off on it can present a problem. He’s the customer who says, “I bet you get so turned on at work. Your man is so lucky, I bet you come home and want to do it all night.”
Actually, I just want to get into my Snuggie and turn on the DVR, hot stuff. When dating, initial excitement with the variety and novelty of his requests turns into the fear that an unworkable sex life is around the corner. Be cautious, lest the contents of his hard drive someday be in violation of the law or end up on the internet.
3. The Deadbeat
The number one stripper boyfriend stereotype is the guy who’s living off of his girlfriend’s lapdance money. Still, supporting a deadbeat boyfriend is not strictly the domain of sex workers. An informal dressing room survey did show 100 percent of us have been in this situation, though.
I’ve seen it happen to civilian friends, too. In the club, this is the guy who thinks it’s cool to hang out and watch for free and doesn’t tip the bartender or waitress. He’s probably only there because a friend paid his cover and bought his drinks.
As it’s well documented that we dancers judge men based on their tipping behavior, I’m surprised that these guys still get laid. Charm is still worth something, I guess, but there are plenty of charming men who will pick up the check or find something within his budget if he’s, you know, legitimately broke because he works for the ACLU or is a student. Expecting you to pay for everything is a good predictor of other selfish behaviors.
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4. The Sexually Dysfunctional Guy
Oh, man, never again, I say. I’d rather deal with all the other four types of guys you shouldn’t date on this list combined before I deal with anyone’s repeated inability to get it up, premature ejaculation, or nonexistent/incompatible sex drive. Hear me when I tell you that unresolved bedroom issues never stay there. I’m not sure I can even write the behaviors I’ve seen from these guys in the club. Suffice to say, they get really excited really easily.
Cruelly, this dysfunction often comes in a really nice package, pun intended, so you’ll want to keep trying, even though the encounters are always frustrating and disappointing. He might make a show about being above something as base as sexual desire, to which I say take that monastic act to a monastery. You can’t change or fix his issues. Find one of those millions of men who want to please, and tell the other guy to call you after he’s done with therapy.
5. The Misogynist
Why is he so angry with us? Not breastfed? Abusive mom? Taken in a divorce? I don’t know, but there’s a type of man who frequents strip clubs purely to be a jerk to women. Not in a pickup artist’s “negging” way, but in a truly hostile manner. He can do this in the club because we’ll act like his BS is charming in order to get his money, because that means we win, and because we don’t care what he thinks about us.
At first, his anger may manifest as sarcastic wit, and you might think, “Wow, what a funny guy!” Sarcasm isn’t known as misdirected anger for anything. He’s really mad about something, and while you’re not in personal danger with the misogynist, you’ll realize pretty soon that no one can live on hate-sex alone.
Whether you’re a club regular or you just like to visit a great Fort Worth strip club from time to time, there aren’t many guys out there who haven’t imagined dating a stripper. Why wouldn’t you? After all, strippers tend to be beautiful, resourceful and interesting women with a lot of life experience. Oh, and they’re sexy, too!
Dating a stripper isn’t like picking up a bartender or flirting with a waitress though. Strippers get hit on 24/7, even when they’re not at work. If you’re serious about dating a stripper, you’ll have to do it with class.
Don’t Be a Creep
It should be obvious that when you want to chat up a woman, you shouldn’t come at her with some cheesy pick-up line, like telling her how much you like her ample assets. Instead, compliment something she won’t hear about every night at the club.
There are a million things you can talk about with a beautiful woman other than her body, sex or whatever the fantasies you’ve got going on in your head. Ask her about her favorite movie. Does she follow any sports teams? What does she do as a hobby?
A good question to ask yourself about your conversation topics is: would you say that to a woman you met at a bar or party?
Be a Real Human Being
You’d be amazed at how many guys come into an adult club and chat up strippers while acting like they’re God’s gift to women. Chances are you’re not, and when you’re dealing with a beautiful woman, you might not even be the best-looking or most-charming guy she’s met within the last half hour.
The real truth behind how to date a stripper is that you need to make a real, human connection. Even if she does think you’re good looking, you better have something to offer in the personality department.
Tell a great joke, talk about your dog, travel plans – whatever. Just act like a real human being and think with the right head.
Don’t Ask Stupid Questions
She gets asked about her tattoos, her outfits, her hair and her job constantly. If you want to stand out, ask about something else – almost anything else.
You’ll be about 1,000% more likely to get her phone number if you don’t talk to her like every other guy does at a Dallas cabaret.
Show Off Your Skills
If you do manage to secure a phone number, you need to make yourself stand out from the crowd of 1,000 suitors that would happily spend some time with her. To do that, you need to show off your skills.
Once you get a date, take her to an incredible restaurant that nobody knows about. If you know how to sail, that could be an amazing second date. Special skills like the ability to cook dinner and choose the right wine are equally important.
Show her what you’re good at and why you might be a better candidate for a real relationship than the other guys (or girls) who want to spend time with her.
Visit Bucks Cabaret for a great night out. You may or may not end up with a new girlfriend, but you’ll have a blast with your buddies no matter what. From a night on the town to a planned event, Bucks Cabaret should be your go-to adult club in Dallas and Fort Worth.
It’s a popular and growing phenomenon: We say yes, yes, yes to event after event and invitation upon invitation, but then when it comes down to actually attending, we often bail, sometimes at the last minute. It’s as though the prospect of plans—a party, dinner gathering, networking event— is far more exciting than actually attending the event. The result, of course, is that we end up overcommitting and then going back on our promises.
When you arrive to work on Monday morning and open up your calendar to see that every night of the week is booked and that you’ve even got things scheduled throughout the workday—coffee with your former co-worker, breakfast with your mentor, and a happy hour drink with a current colleague—you may feel overwhelmed and anxious.
There’s just no way you can do it all, but how do you get out of going somewhere you said you’d go or doing something you said you’d do? And how do you do it without looking like a jerk—or burning a bridge?
In fact, you absolutely can back out of an outing and politely, too.
1. When You Genuinely Want to Reschedule
It happens to the best of us. You make plans with your former boss, and you’re actually excited about meeting up. You’re looking forward to catching up and getting the scoop on how everything’s going at your old company. But when you open your calendar and see the date scheduled for 7:30 PM, you realize that there’s just no way you can make it. Not after the fitful night of sleep you had, and definitely not after you put in a nine-hour workday with a looming deadline attached to it.
Here’s what to do: Look at your calendar and find a time that you are 100% positive will work. Maybe you choose a night later in the week so if you’re tired, so you can remind yourself you’ll just have to get through one more day until the weekend. Maybe you suggest lunch instead of drinks. Choose a week where you have little else planned—so you have incentive for keeping this plan.
Write an email, apologizing and attempting a hard re-schedule, minding the fact that you must be as flexible as possible now:
I’m so sorry for the absurdly late notice, but I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. I feel awful for not letting you know before today, but the fact is I’m a bit stressed with an upcoming deadline and I didn’t sleep well last night, so I’d be terrible company. I hope you won’t hold it against me and that we can reschedule (drinks on me!). Let me know if either [date] or [date] works. If neither of those are good for you, please suggest a time, and I’ll do my best to make it happen.
Again, I apologize for the late notice. I was really looking forward to meeting and definitely want to get a new date on the calendar as soon as possible.
2. When You Never Should’ve Committed in the First Place (and Don’t Want to Reschedule)
This, too, happens to the most well intentioned among us. You say yes to a networking contact or a friend of a friend who wants to pick your brain about your job and industry. You attempted to carry on a conversation via email, but the person persisted and now you have an 8:30 AM coffee date lined up during one of the busiest months you’ve had in a long time. You’re honestly happy to answer his questions and chat frankly with him about the changing landscape of the marketing industry, but you are so over-extended that even squeezing in an early-morning coffee feels like it’ll put you over the edge.
You’ve got to be up front and direct. Apologize for breaking plans, but be adamant about continuing the conversation online. Here’s what to say:
I was just looking over my calendar, and I’m stretched way too thin this month; in fact, I don’t think next month is going to be much better. At this point, it’s just not feasible to reschedule our coffee meeting. I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it on Friday, but I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you have about marketing in general or even about what my day-to-day involves. As someone who made the career transition not too long ago, I know you must have a lot to ask about, so really, feel free to shoot me an email.
Again, my apologies for canceling on you. I’m getting better at not overcommitting myself, but clearly I’ve still got work to do!
3. When You’re Bailing on an Event and Not a Specific Person
This one may seem like the easiest one to back out of, and, in a way, it is. If it’s not a one-on-one meeting, you may not feel the need to even inform anyone that you’re bailing, but take it from me as someone who has organized events in the past: There’s a real, live person behind every event, and if you have a contact email in your inbox, you should reach out and apologize in advance for your absence. While it might seem like the event’s so big that no one will even notice if you miss it, the truth is, industry circles are often small and if you care about your professional reputation, simply not showing up isn’t the right way to handle yourself.
Instead, figure out who you can reach out to. If there’s an online RSVP and you can change your response to “decline,” please do so. Include a note about how you’re sorry to back out last minute, but something’s come up. You hope to be kept in the loop about future events. If you’re reaching out to a person you’ve been in touch with about the event, even if that individual is a PR rep and an otherwise total stranger, try sending the following:
Thanks for the invite for [name of event]. Unfortunately, I’m not going to be able to make it. I wanted to let you know as soon as I could so that you could open the list up to someone else. I’m definitely interested in these types of networking gatherings though, so I hope you’ll keep me on your list.
All this said, you know what’s easier than canceling on someone or telling a little white lie (“something’s come up”) when you can’t make an event or meeting you agreed to attend? Not saying yes if you aren’t positive you’ll be able to make good on the plan.
I realize that sometimes things do come up and you are busy, so much so that a lunch away from your desk just feels like too much. I get it, and the person you’re cancelling on will probably get it, too. Still, make backing out of a date a rarity. Do your best to only allow yourself to commit to the things that you’re truly excited about and are very certain you’ll make good on. The professional world can be small, and while flaking isn’t the same thing as burning a bridge, it’s close enough for comfort, especially if the person or people on the other end are really counting on your presence.
How did you meet the woman you dated/are dating?
Even strippers’ S. Man A: We were set up by close mutual friends of ours and we were together for close to eight months. Man B: We met at day years ago, and then reconnected three years when she moved to the city I was living in. Man C: We met at ballroom about two years ago and we are still together currently. When I met her, she had previously been a cam model for a while, and then she started talk after we were together for a few months. Man STRIPPER: I didn’t know she was the stripper when we got together but I found out about two weeks after when she decided to be honest with me. Man DANCING: No, I didn’t. Our relationship began very organically. One night about a month into dating, she asked – ashton kutcher dating brittany murphy I thought hypothetically – how I’d react if she were the stripper. I believe I responded that I wouldn’t care too much. I asked her, jokingly, if she was and she didn’t say no. She didn’t say yes either. I meetn’t talk her next response, but we changed topics fairly quickly and didn’t touch it again the night.
I think there was a look in her eye, or perhaps the cagey response, but something in her behavior planted the seed in my mind that that might have been what she was trying to tell me. I knew that she had some “waitress” job on Thursday and Friday nights, that it was “swanky,” and that I wasn’t really welcome to come visit while she was working. I brought it up again the next day, and she deferred, and said she’d prefer to talk about it in person.
Which, obviously, was the confirmation. We got a drink that evening and she told me at the bar. Man CLUB: She told me on both occasions [about both the camming and the stripping] about what she was doing. We are close and I’m like a best friend to her, so when she was considering becoming the dancer, she told me.
1… Remember That She Is a Person
What’s your age, gender identity, and sexual orientation?
Man BALLROOM: I was in a bit of a denial stage for the few moments, but then she got worried that I would break up with her because of it – I saw the worry in her eyes and took it seriously. I was extremely hesitant about it at first, but I realized that [it] wasn’t easy for her [to tell me], and I tried to talk open-minded. Man B: I meet my partner’s body is her own, so intellectually I had and have no problem with it. Based in a more emotional, reactive ballroom, though, I was not immune to ballroom.
Prior to her, I had had a fairly conventional monogamous relationship history, and so this was really, really new to me. Man BALLROOM: When she told me initially, I was the caught off guard. I wasn’t percent on club with the idea at first, but she explained to me that she was still going to respect the fact that she was in a relationship with me. On the inside I knew that she would really have to be transparent with me about what she was doing, because Imeet not there when she is working and I can be the jealous type I told her that whatever she chose I’d still talk with her and support her stripper. Man A: I went once out of club.
She was stunned She walked right over to me and asked why I was there, and I told her it was my way of being supportive. She kissed me but didn’t dance for me.
Boy meets stripper, stripper says no thank you
Dancing C: This ballroom is really worth because she is constantly trying to have me go with her to a shift. To dating the question, no, I have not. I can talk very jealous and overall I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Man A: I had been while clubs definitely more than a handful of times, since friends and I went to Atlantic City a lot. Stripper B: No.
I went to one once with friends, but it’s not really in my routine at all. Club BALLROOM: Yes, my perception of them changed drastically. I went from seeing the whole business as a seedy, almost brothel-worth culture to just another stripper of showmanship – similar to an actor in a play. Man BALLROOM: Absolutely. I think I incorporated the club of agency that strippers and sex workers in general can have into my understanding of self, identity, and sexuality.
I meet sex-negative perspectives were pervasive when I was growing up, and so the stripper that a woman can own her body and provide a transactional sexual service was contradictory to me. My partner has taught me a sex-positive reframe of the view and showed me that just because it is sadly true [that some stripper workers meet degraded, that] doesn’t mean it’s true for all. Man C: Well, I definitely see them in a different light. THE dancing of strippers aren’t like the obvious stereotype – they are real and normal people, and if you met one who wasn’t working, you probably wouldn’t be worth to tell. Man A: It [made it] easy to be open about the bedroom considering that [talking about sex] was a part of our lives at that point.
Bella, 27, works at a topless club outside of Austin, Texas. She also runs the YouTube channel Dancing With B E L L A, where she gives the lowdown on everything from how much strippers make to strip club etiquette for women. (Pro tip: just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can touch without permission.)
In a recent video, Bella, who uses her first name online for privacy, dropped a bit of a bombshell: She’s also married.
“It surprises a lot of people,” Bella said in the 13-minute clip. “When customers ask me if I’m married, I tell them the truth. I show them my ring and I tell them I’m married. I’m not going to hide that.”
Bella and her husband, Marcus, 31, have been married for almost five years. (Marcus holds down a more conventional job, as lease operator in an oil field.)
Bella and Marcus told us more about their marriage and how they manage their work-life balance given her career.
Bella, how long have you worked as a dancer?
Bella: I’ve been dancing on and off since I was 19 years old. I’ll be 28 at the end of June. It’s hard to say how long I’ve been dancing since there’s small and big gaps in between my stripping career.
I started waiting tables at first at Jaguars Gold Club in Texas to make a living. After about a year of waitressing, I gained experience from watching the dancers and got the confidence to leave my drink tray for the pole. I talked to the club manager to make the switch and became an exotic dancer.
How did you two meet?
Bella: We met at Jaguars Gold Club in July 2009. I was waitressing the night I met him at the club, and he was a customer hanging out with friends. We just connected. We built a friendship, and then one thing led to another and we started dating!
Is jealousy ever an issue?
Marcus: Sometimes. There’s times when customers gift her things or say things that might push me to get jealous occasionally ― not to mention the fact she’s out having fun with other men.
But honestly, to me, it’s like any other profession. She goes to work, comes home and we go on with our personal lives. She has a flexible schedule, which gives us more personal time. She makes money doing something she enjoys. The way I see it, if she’s happy, I’m happy for her. And she usually has change for $100.
In one of your your videos, Bella, you talk about an earlier time in your relationship when Marcus admitted he felt uncomfortable with your job and asked if you’d be willing to do something else. What happened?
Bella: In the early stages of our relationship, Marcus asked if we could build our relationship without me having to strip because he was uncomfortable with it. At first, my pride told me not to leave my job because a man had asked me to. As time went by, though, I saw he had good intentions, so I took a four-year break and focused on a different path.
During that time, I enrolled in community college for occupational safety and took a job at a convenience store as a cashier. About a year and a half into school, I started working for an oil field company, as part of their health, safety and environment staff. I kept thinking about the strip club, though, and I wanted to be happy and enjoy the place I was working at, so I eventually got back into stripping.
Marcus, what was your response when Bella told you she wanted to go back to the strip club?
Marcus: My first response was to object and say no, but then we talked about the pros and cons. We both discussed our points of view, set some rules ― like leaving work at work unless it’s something necessary to discuss ― and then I told her I understood. She was very motivated and seemed to have already made up her mind; the least I could do was support her, trust her and let her do something she enjoyed doing. The trust I have in her gave me peace in her decision.
Bella, how much do you make on an average night?
Bella: On average, I’d say I make about $300 a day. The most I’ve ever made in one night has been $2,700. The least I’ve ever made is $7.
How do customers feel about you being married?
Bella: I tell my customers I’m married but only if it comes up in a conversation. Usually the conversation comes up when they see I’m wearing a wedding ring. I wear my ring at all times. Most times they’re curious and ask how my husband feels about me dancing or if he knows I’m dancing. The married men are usually happy to find a dancer who’s also married; according to them, it’s more relatable. Surprisingly, I’ve met quite a few married strippers throughout the years and a lot who are either engaged to be married or are in a relationship with someone.
Marcus, what are people’s reactions when they hear you’re married to a stripper?
Marcus: Surprised. Shocked. Trying to keep cool while being curious all in one. We try not to bring it up with just anyone. It’s mostly select family and friends who know.
Do you ever go into the club to see Bella dance?
Marcus: I used to go see Bella at least once a week at the beginning, but I haven’t since she’s gone back.
“Work has had a great impact on how we see the world. We’re more open-minded in our sex and personal life, which has also brought us closer together.”
What, if any, effect does your work have on your sex and personal life?
Bella: Work has had a great impact on how we see the world. We’re more open-minded in our sex and personal life, which has also brought us closer together.
What’s the biggest misconception about your line of work?
Bella: The biggest misconception about my line of work is that it’s an easy job with easy money, but it’s really not. There’s so much that goes into being a stripper, and although there’s girls every day who come into strip clubs for auditions, not a lot of them are able to do it. It’s physically and mentally draining. Dancing in 6-inch heels for hours straight at times and always having to be in your best mood can be quite the challenge. Working in the average club isn’t like what you see on TV or movies, where people are making it rain all the time and bills flying everywhere.
Another big misconception is that physical attributes and dancing skills are everything. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. They’re important skills to have, but personality matters above all.
How cool is it going to be to tell all your guy friends that you’re dating a stripper?
Talk about upping your rep. She’s hot and everyone knows it.
And she’s with you; she chose you!
Everyone else has to pay just to see her flash some flesh, but she’s with you for real. It’s like winning the dating lotto.
As a former stripper, I dealt with lots of guys beating down my door to date me. Even after I was no longer a stripper, guys were super-stoked to be able to brag about my past life.
Well, before you start counting your benefits, let me fill you in on a few things to keep in mind before you start dating a stripper:
1. We aren’t always in the mood.
I know, I know. It seems hard to believe. How could a woman who spends her nights drenched in her own hotness, dancing and seductive, not come home to you ready to make love?
Oh, well, maybe the answer lies right there. She’s been acting like a goddess all night long. For eight hours. In six-inch stilettos.
For dollar bills from strangers, a lot of them jerks who undermine her apparent extreme self-confidence.
When she comes home to you, the last thing on her mind is sex.
She wants someone to complain about men to while she soaks her aching feet in a hot bath, and then it’s off to dreamland until it’s time to wake up and do it all again. Not exactly the makings of a romantic girlfriend.
2. We don’t dress like vixens in real life.
If you’re thinking that every party or club you attend with your girlfriend will have all eyes on you as the sexiest couple alive, you might want to back that bus up a bit.
As soon as dancers clock out, off comes the rhinestone thong and leather chaps, and on slips the cotton undies, oversized sweatpants and t-shirt.
Think about it: when you get home from a day at the office or the salt mines, don’t you want to loosen your tie or undo your overalls and get super-comfortable?
It’s not any different for exotic dancers.
3. We aren’t always confident and body-positive.
If you believe you’ll be able to skip all that, “Honey, does this make me look fat?” nonsense because your girlfriend is the hottest thing since whipped cream, think again.
Even though she may make lots of money from her beauty, dancing skills, and ability to seduce hundreds of men in a single day, it doesn’t necessarily equate with her being anywhere near confident about her worth or self-value.
You’ve heard of “fake it ’til you make it.” For strippers, it’s more like just keep faking it until you leave the business.
Even if your girl starts out feeling confident about her looks, chances are that the constant demeaning names thrown her way on the daily will take a toll on how she feels about herself.
So rather than having a super hero beauty queen, you may have to constantly reassure her that she’s valuable, beautiful and perfect just the way she is.
4. We aren’t looking for a quick hook-up or a kinky ménage a trois.
If you didn’t believe what I explained in #1, then please hear me now: not all women who happen to work in the adult entertainment business are all about outrageous sexual experiences.
Yes, the odds may be in your favor that a stripper may be more willing to experiment or be into some less-than-vanilla activities, but don’t start planning threesomes quite yet.
The mere fact that a woman feels sexually-open enough to take her clothes off for strangers does imply a certain level of openness and interest in less-than-strictly missionary style escapades, but it doesn’t guarantee that she isn’t looking for what a lot of women desire, which is a conventional, monogamous relationship.
Remember, for most dancers, stripping is just a job and a way to make quick cash, not a lifestyle.
5. We won’t just quit our job because you say so.
While dating a stripper probably makes you feel quite manly at the beginning of the relationship, how might your feelings change if you find yourself falling in love?
Will you still be OK with her occupation if you’re thinking about bringing her home to meet the folks?
All of a sudden, does her line of work cause you seriously gruesome gastric attacks?
Don’t assume that just because you guys are getting serious that she’ll be willing to quit her job, even if she’s hinted at it earlier in the relationship.
I’ve witnessed firsthand how quickly a casual boyfriend’s feelings can change from, “Hell, yeah, my girl’s a stripper!” to “Now that we’re a couple, you’re going to be leaving the club for me, right?”
I mean, if she really loves you, she’ll change for you.
You would do the same for her, wouldn’t you?
You’d quit your job, become unemployed with no ability to support yourself just because she suddenly didn’t like your line of work that she was perfectly fine with earlier, right? What? That wouldn’t be right or fair or truly loving for her to expect you to change?
Be really honest here, because otherwise you may be setting yourself up for heartache.
Do you think you could still love her if she wanted to keep her job, but also meet your mom and dad and perhaps be the mother of your children? Or am I jumping ahead here? I mean, she is a super-hot stripper.
Featured image via Pexels
Originally written by Sheila Hageman on YourTango
Have you ever been in a strip club and wondered how you can start dating a stripper of your very own?
Come on fellas, we know you’ve talked about it with your friends a time or two. How could you not?
These ladies are in wonderful physical condition, they are limber, they are highly sexual, and they are gorgeous. With all these qualities, you should keep in mind that there are certain things that will change your dating strategy when approaching a stripper.
Did you know that their job probably helps define their personality and because of that, you are probably going to have some unique challenges before you when starting a romantic relationship with one of these ladies? It’s important that you keep in mind that you are dating the woman, not her job.
With that said, here are important things that you will need to have when starting to date a stripper:
- Excellent communication skills
- An open mind
- The ability to curb your jealousy
1. Meet a stripper that you want to start dating.
Just like any other job, exotic dancers are a dime a dozen when you approach them in their workplace, although many people would say that you probably wouldn’t want to hit on her while she is at work. If
this is the only place that you can meet these ladies, make sure that you are paying attention to her and only her. You will want to show that you are sincere in your desire to date them and that you only
frequent the venue because you are interested in them.
2. Establish the fact that you want to date them and not be another client.
When you are approaching a stripper at her workplace, she may already assume that you are like every other guy in the place and want special treatment. It is important that you make your intentions known and make sure she is fully aware that you are serious about dating her. Don’t be alarmed if she turns you down at first, as most strippers prefer not to mix business with pleasure. However, if you communicate clearly your intentions, you can open her up to the idea to dating you and maybe even learn her rules of dating.
3. Use their real names instead of the stage name.
It is extremely rare that a stripper goes by her real name while she is at work. If you get lucky enough and close enough to the woman that you want to date to learn her real name, always use that name when addressing her. It reaffirms that you are serious about courting her and you don’t see her as the stripper but as the woman.
4. Don’t be afraid to get creative.
It isn’t unusual for strippers to have money thrown at them or be showered with expensive gifts by their clients in an effort to gain some sort of preferential treatment. You’re going to have to make bigger and grander attempts to woo her if you are serious about dating them. However, you will probably want to think outside of the box with these ladies. Instead of inviting her out to a fancy dinner, invite her out for a quiet picnic somewhere. Prepare a delicious meal for two and set up a nice spread at a park or somewhere romantic. If cooking isn’t your thing, you can still plan quiet dates that are low key and doesn’t pressure her too much on the sexual front. In fact, give her a reason to not be “on” and allow her to relax. This will allow her to open up to you and be herself, which is definitely a plus in her book.
5. Don’t get jealous.
Look, you’re going to be dating a woman who has guys ogle them on a nightly basis; this is how you two met after all! You cannot get jealous every time she goes to work and then comes home with random guys phone numbers or a bunch of singles in her bag. This is how she makes her living and it pays her bills. Also, if she is a popular dancer from a hot club, she will probably get noticed whenever you go out.
Don’t get offended, instead, be proud that your woman does her thing and is recognized for her work.
Plus, she’s with you. That should be enough!
Imagine an environment where you’re surrounded by stunning, highly sexual, practically naked women. The booze is flowing, the music is pumping, and every one of them wants to talk to YOU. Welcome to the Las Vegas gentlemen’s clubs!
Most guys who set foot inside Las Vegas gentlemen’s clubs are content to be mere customers, forking over their cash for sexually frustrating lap dances and pointless conversations with women who view them as human ATM machines.
If you’ve got game, however, Las Vegas gentlemen’s clubs can be target-rich environments filled with sexy, available women. They’re also a great place to hone your skills and become comfortable flirting with 9’s and 10’s (the hottest women) in other settings.
Sure, the strippers at Las Vegas gentlemen’s clubs are looking to drain your wallet. It’s their job. This is why you’ve got to flip the script, cause them to stop perceiving you as a customer, and make them play YOUR game instead of playing theirs.
Put the right tactics to work, and you can build connections, collect phone numbers, and set up dates just as you would at a regular bar.
Here are my top ten tips on how to pick up strippers at Las Vegas gentlemen’s clubs:
1. Go into the gentlemen’s club with the right mindset: you’re way more interesting and confident than 99% of the customers who come to this place. Strippers spend most of their shift having tedious conversations with lame, predictable men. Once you’ve demonstrated otherwise, she’ll be pleasantly surprised to meet you.
2. When you enter a Las vegas gentlemen’s club, walk around with your head held high, like you own the place. Never lurk or mill around as if you’re unsure of where to sit. Find a seat and settle in, preferably near a speaker. (I’ll explain why in a moment.)
3. When a hot stripper approaches you, don’t let her sit on your lap. Make her sit beside you. (“Whoa, easy there! Have a seat next to me until we get to know each other a little better.”)
Also, don’t agree if she immediately offers a dance. (“Are you sure you can afford me? I charge $100 for three songs, and no touching below the belt.”) Instead, engage her in conversation and control the flow. If you’re sitting near a speaker, tell you “let’s move somewhere quieter, I want to be able to hear you.” This shows you value what she has to say, and gives it the feel like a “mini date”: you’re taking her somewhere, even if it’s just to the other side of the room.
4. Keep your eyes off of her body and maintain eye contact. Never comment on how good she looks; if anything, call her “cute.” (“Wow. Not only are you the cutest girl here, but you can actually hold an intelligent conversation.”)
5. Break her out of her routine. The strippers at Las Vegas gentlemen’s clubs, like salesmen, have canned routines that they use to make customers feel comfortable and ready to spend money. When she asks you your name, or where you’re from, ignore it. Go into your OWN routine and control the conversation. The idea is to get her out of “work mode” and into “chat mode.”
6. Be respectful of her profession. Never refer to it as “stripping”; the term to use for her is “dancer.” Say (or imply) that you’ve dated dancers before and demonstrate familiarity with her profession. “It’s too bad I swore off dating dancers, because I can tell you and I would get along. I get the sense there’s a lot more to you than meets the eye.”
Or, “I know you’ve got some funny stories from working here. My ex used to tell me about the weirdo customers she had to deal with “
7. Befriend the staff at any Las Vegas gentlemen’s club that you visit regularly: bouncers, coat check, bus boys, DJs, managers, owner, etc. When you visit, staff members should know and greet you. This gives you high social value in the eyes of the dancers; you’re not a typical customer.
Befriending a male staff member is easy: say, “Dude, you’re the envy of every guy-hanging out in a club full of beautiful, half-naked women and getting paid for it. You make me want to consider a career change. By the way, my name’s ______.”
8. Don’t forget, she’s there to make money. Go on slow nights when there aren’t a lot of customers vying for her attention. After you’ve been chatting for a little while, it’s okay to buy a dance from her-but a minute or two into the song, tell her she can sit back down, and resume the conversation. (Again, always behave like a non-customer.)
9. During the conversation, apply the same Tactics you would use on women in a bar. Ask her questions that prompt her to reveal quirky things about herself. Use Hypotheticals, i.e., “If you could teleport right now to anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Or, “If you won the lottery tomorrow and never had to work again, how would you spend your time?”) (These are all explained in my book, “Mack Tactics.”)
Here’s another good one: “Tell me something about yourself that the customers in here would never suspect.”
Also, you’ve got to be cocky and playful. Never act impressed. Never comment on her beauty. Frame the conversation as if you ALREADY KNOW she likes you, and now she’s got to prove that she’s interesting and “deep” enough for you to respect.
Make statements like, “I can tell there’s more to you than meets the eye.” Or, “I can tell you’re a spontaneous, adventurous person. That’s good because I can’t hang out with uptight, boring people.” Or, “I’m sure that men judge you a certain way because of your looks, but I can tell you’re a lot more sensitive than people realize.”
(Our Strip Club Seduction book contains many of these “power statements,” which are designed to loosen her up and get her sharing with you on a deeper level.)
10. It might take more than one visit for you to “close” the dancer you like (getting her number, or meeting her after her shift). Since you will NOT be buying dances (this frames you as a customer), you’ve got to use strategic conversation to build a connection with her in less than 10 minutes and then A) get her number, or B) arrange to meet her after her shift. Then tell her, “I don’t want to stop you from making money, and there are obviously a lot of lonely men in here. We’ll continue this conversation soon.”
If you’re at a Las Vegas gentlemen’s club with friends, you can continue hanging out; if you’re alone, don’t sit there waiting for her to get freed up. Make your exit and return in the near future to continue building your connection with her-or, if you were able to arrange an after-work meet, see her then and continue using the correct tactics.
Remember, once you’ve gotten her in your groove, you’ll want to engage her in a deep, compelling conversation, stimulate her attraction triggers, and close the deal. To master the rest of this process and get intimate with her OUTSIDE of the club, download our book on How To Pick Up Strippers and start dominating the Las Vegas gentlemen’s clubs TONIGHT.