How to date a transgender person

How to date a transgender person

And, as with dating any woman, there are many DOs and DON’Ts. Transgender writer Leila Blake recently sat down to school cisgender on people on how to have an amazing relationship with a transgender woman.

Here’s what she said:

1. Don’t use the word “tranny.”

That is a derogatory term used in porn and it turns transgender women into objects.

2. Don’t expect her to teach you.

Leila says that too many cisgender people ask her questions that they could just Google themselves, such as “What’s the difference between a cross-dresser and a transgender person?” She’s not a textbook. Ask Jeeves.

3. Don’t expect her to roll right into bed.

Society frames transgender women in terms of what they’re able to do sexually – who can forget the awful Crying Game scene that demonized a sexy woman who dared to have a penis? In real life, don’t expect a transgender woman to want to move straight into the bedroom.

4. Don’t hide her away.

Leila says that for many people, “We’re ‘good enough’ for sex but not to be taken out in public.” Don’t be the idiot who tries to hide your relationship.

5. Steer clear of stereotypes.

You know that it’s bad to stereotype – not all black people are rappers, not all Asian people are math geniuses, and not all white people are trailer trash. But when it comes to transgender people, you might be holding stereotypes you didn’t even know you had, especially if you haven’t met a transgender person before. Don’t assume that all transgender women have penises (or don’t), that they’re all sex workers or criminals (like on Orange is the New Black), that they envy cisgender women (trans women are women) or that they want to look stereotypically feminine (butch trans women exist). Don’t excuse your ignorance by saying, “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

6. Don’t bring up sexual intercourse on the first date.

This is one of Leila’s personal rules. Not all transgender people are comfortable with their bodies, so they may not be comfortable discussing sex. Some are. Some aren’t. Tread lightly and wait for her to bring it up first.

7. Talk about sex before you do it.

Open communication is important in any sexual relationship, especially queer sexual relationships, cisgender or not. Before you sleep with her, ask her what she’s comfortable with.

8. Support her transition.

If you’re in a relationship with a transgender woman for a long period of time, especially a woman at the beginning of her transition, then be prepared for a lot of changes. Transitioning is difficult, emotionally and physically and financially. Support her.

How to date a transgender personImage credit: Laura Ockel

How can trans people best navigate the modern dating world? Finding love as a queer person is hard enough, throw gender identity on top of that and dating might seem impossible. The internet can be a refuge for finding community, but finding a dating community isn’t always the easiest or safest for trans people.

Most of my friends and I use dating apps to meet people, hook up, and date. There are many dating websites and apps that state that they are “LGBTQ friendly” but for the most part dating sites are more LGBQ friendly than trans friendly. I have read countless articles, internet comments, and profile messages from people who say, “I would never date a trans person.” In fact, only 16 to 18% of Americans say they would be willing to date someone who is transgender. Hearing about people being afraid of or not open to dating a trans person is just one reason why it is so hard to date as a trans person. And even though I have heard it many times before, it is still hard to confront.

I looked at eight popular dating sites to see which are the most gender inclusive. Most stick to the gender binary, forcing people to state that they are either male or female, with no other options. Some sites are more inclusive for cisgender gay or lesbian folks than bi+ folks, as they only list interested in only male or only female, without the option for selecting both. Some have a variety of sexualities to choose from, and some have a combination of options for gender and sexuality. I've found that OkCupid and Tinder are the most inclusive, having many options for sexualities and gender, especially transgender woman, man, non-binary and gender fluid.

Even once we have been able to select the appropriate identities for yourself and the people you are interested, many trans people still might feel obligated to disclose that they are transgender explicitly in their profiles or early in the conversation. But it often seems like the second you tell someone in the dating world that you are trans, their entire view of you changes. Sometimes, if you don’t come out to someone, they can make you feel like you lied by not disclosing. But if we tell the person on the other end that we are trans, the person may end the conversation in a huff. Either that, or they will fetichize our trans identity, saying something like ‘that’s hot,’ or ‘I’m usually not into trans people but I might like you.’ To be honest, all of those options make me want to run away.

How to date a transgender person

Some trans folks might disclose that they are trans early in the conversation with someone they are interested in dating. Those that are comfortable enough to disclose this information might do so because they don’t want to get their hopes up only for rejection or possible violence if they meet up in person. There have been many instances in which I’ve neglected to disclose my gender identity until I was deep in conversation in someone, which made the person end the conversation and/ or say rude things. Sometimes I disclose my gender identity pretty early in the conversation and they stop messaging me immediately. Although disclosing trans identity in the beginning of a conversation early in the messaging process can be hard because people cut off contact, it’s safer in the long run.

Personally, I know that I am not ready to date yet. I am still in the middle of my coming out process and am focused on myself more than dating someone else. When I see a trans person that is dating and happy I get excited for them and for myself because I know how hard it is to find someone and feel comfortable. I also remember how lonely the single life can be when you are figuring out who you are and living through another heart-filled Valentine’s Day. Sometimes I wish I could have a relationship like the ones I see.

All trans people are worthy of love and affection. Hopefully we as a society will begin to see that trans people deserve love, just like anyone else. An important thing to remember though, is that patience is a virtue. Finding someone takes time and effort. And when I found someone who loves me for exactly who I am, as a trans person, I’ll know all the waiting has been worth it.

How to date a transgender personRiley McGrath is a Campus Ambassador and a sophomore at Bridgewater State University studying psychology. He runs a trans ally project on Facebook and Instagram that strives to put out trans and LGBT inclusive content. Riley hopes to be an LGBT counselor as well as a mental health counselor in the future.

Evidence suggests the answer is often no—but why not?

Key points

  • Trans persons are seldom viewed as desirable dating partners, recent research finds—especially by straight men and women.
  • Overall, gender minorities lag behind sexual minorities in terms of the societal attitudes toward them.
  • When considering whether they would date trans individuals, respondents appear to prize masculinity more than femininity.

How to date a transgender person

Alphonso David, the Human Rights Campaign Foundation President, noted that in the United States, “at least 37 transgender and gender non-conforming people were victims of fatal violence” in 2020—far more than has been recorded in previous years. But anti-trans violence is not just physical but also psychological, a symptom of the transphobia that is prevalent in our society.

The subtlety of this negativity is manifested in a variety of ways, including during interpersonal interactions—such as our willingness to date a trans person. Who we date (or don’t date) can be tainted by our susceptibility to societal attitudes. “One such attitude that may be restricting the roll call of those we consider acceptable dating partners may be cisgenderism… the ideology that views cisgender identities as natural and normal, thereby delegitimizing trans identities and expressions.”

Researchers Karen Blair and Rhea Hoskin (2019) addressed the dating preferences of nearly a thousand online participants with the question, “Who would you consider dating?” Options were cisgender man, cisgender woman, trans man, trans woman, and gender queertrans. The participants were predominantly young adults, most of whom were straight, cisgender individuals (their current gender identity matches the gender they were assigned at birth) residing in Canada and the United States.

Extremely few—less than 3 percent—of straight men and women would consider dating a trans individual, regardless of whether that person matched their straight sexual orientation (a transman born female for straight men; a transwoman born male for straight women) or their gender preference (a transwoman for straight men; a transman for straight women). Unfortunately, participants were not explicitly asked about their reasons for choosing a dating partner.

Gay men were more willing than straight men (12 percent vs. 3 percent) and lesbian women were more willing than straight women (29 percent vs. 2 percent) to date a trans person. Overall, gay men were far more likely than lesbians to exclude individuals based on their trans status. Both gays and lesbians were, however, considerably more likely to date a trans person consistent with their preferred gender presentation rather than their preferred genitalia (transmen for gays, transwomen for lesbians).

We do not know the importance of whether that dating partner had altered their genitalia through surgery to match their trans identity. That is, how important is it to a gay man that his transman date does or does not have a penis or to a lesbian woman that her transwoman date has or does not have a penis? These issues require further investigation, beginning with intensive interviews with all relevant participants.

As one might expect, bisexual, queer, and nonbinary individuals were most likely to date a trans person—slightly over half. Yet, one might wonder why this was not closer to 100 percent. Despite the commonly held assumption that bisexual, queer, and nonbinary individuals have no or few sexual or gender preferences, this belief is, I believe, mistaken. Indeed, most have a favorite sex and gender of the person they desire to have as a partner. For example, regarding bisexuals, research clearly shows that relatively few bisexuals are evenly divided in their sexual preference between males and females; rather, they have a clear preference for one or the other (Savin-Williams, 2021). So, too, although gender preferences are less frequently investigated, it appears that many bisexuals have a decided predilection for the gender presentation (masculine or feminine) of their dating partner. Bisexuals who display no sexual or gender preferences are technically pansexuals; in the current study, pansexuals might have identified as queer or nonbinary.

Perhaps the most surprising finding in the Blair and Hoskin study is that a large number of queer and nonbinary individuals would not date their “own kind.” I admit, however, that the number of these individuals is difficult to determine because they were combined with bisexuals in the data analyses. The authors noted that the number of trans-identified individuals was too small to find patterns.

I believe we should not be surprised that even though individuals might not self-identify as male, female, masculine, or feminine, that would not necessarily preclude them from preferring a particular sex or gender presentation in their dating partner. These are issues largely unexplored in psychological research, consistent with Blair and Hoskin’s conclusion: “More research is needed to clearly identify and understand the reasons behind people’s unwillingness to date trans people.”

One final observation noted by the authors was expected and yet potentially distressing for those of us who value the equality of all gender expressions and identities. Considering the sample as a whole, for those who were willing to date a trans person, “a pattern of masculine privileging and transfeminine exclusion appeared, such that participants were disproportionately willing to date trans men, but not trans women, even if doing so was counter to their self-identified sexual and gender identity (e.g., a lesbian dating a trans man but not a trans woman).” We have a long distance to travel to achieve sex and gender equality, and sexual minorities might get there before gender minorities.

Blair, K. L., & Hoskin, R. A. (2019). Transgender exclusion from the world of dating: Patterns of acceptance and rejection of hypothetical trans dating partners as a function of sexual and gender identity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36, 2074-2095. doi:10.1177/0265407518779139

Savin-Williams, R. C. (2021). Bi: Bisexual, Pansexual, Fluid, and Genderqueer Youth. New York: New York University Press.

How to date a transgender person

Considering the discrimination trans people face on a daily basis, it comes as no surprise that trans people are overlooked when it comes to dating. Two Canadian researchers recently asked almost 1000 cisgender folks if they would date a trans person in a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. This is the first study to ever attempt to quantify the extent of trans discrimination when it comes to romantic and sexual relationships.

958 participants (all but seven cisgender, ranging in age from 18 to 81, with an average age of 26) were asked to indicate which genders they would consider dating. The options included cisgender man, cisgender woman, trans man, trans woman, or genderqueer, and participants could select as many genders as they wanted.

Only 12% of all participants selected “trans woman” and/or “trans man.”

Those who would consider dating a trans person didn’t differ in race/ethnicity, but were somewhat older, more likely to hold a university degree, and, unsurprisingly, less likely to be religious than those who would not date a trans person. But some of the most striking differences were in regards to participants’ gender and sexual orientation.

Virtually all heterosexuals excluded trans folks from their dating pool: only 1.8% of straight women and 3.3% of straight men chose a trans person of either binary gender. But most non-heterosexuals weren’t down for dating a trans person either, with only 11.5% of gay men and 29% of lesbians being trans-inclusive in their dating preferences. Bisexual/queer/nonbinary participants (these were all combined into one group) were most open to having a trans partner, but even among them, almost half (48%) did not select either ‘trans man’ or ‘trans woman.’

Of the seven participants who themselves identified as transgender or nonbinary, 89% were willing to date another trans person.

Romantic relationships are one of the most important sources of social support for adults. The fact that most cis people would not consider trans people as potential dating partners is yet another serious risk factor for increased psychological and physical health problems among the trans population.

Surprisingly, among the 127 participants open to dating a trans person, almost half selected a trans person of a gender incongruent with their stated sexual orientation. For example, 50% of the trans-inclusive straight women and 28% of the trans-inclusive gay men were willing to date a trans woman, even though one wouldn’t expect either straight women or gay men to be attracted to women. Similarly, 50% of trans-inclusive straight men and 69% of trans-inclusive lesbians said they’d date a trans man, even though both groups are presumably only attracted to women. And 33% of the trans-inclusive bisexual/queer participants said they would only date a trans person of one gender but not the other, even though one may expect this group to be attracted to multiple genders.

Digging even deeper into the choices of cis folks willing to date trans people, an interesting pattern of discrimination against trans women in particular emerged among those who would be expected to be attracted to women: 28% of trans-inclusive bisexual/queer/nonbinary folks and 38% of trans-inclusive lesbians said they wouldn’t date a trans woman — only a trans man. There was no similar discrimination against trans men among those expected to be attracted to men: 0% of trans-inclusive gay men and only 5% of trans-inclusive bisexual/queer/nonbinary folks excluded trans men from their dating pool.

The high rates of trans exclusion from potential dating pools are undoubtedly due in part to cisnormativity, cissexism, and transphobia — all of which lead to lack of knowledge about transgender people and their bodies, discomfort with these unknowns, and fear of being discriminated against by proxy of one’s romantic partner. It is also possible that at least some of the trans exclusion is due to the fact that for some people, sexual orientation might be not (just) about a partner’s gender identity, but attraction to specific body types and/or judgment of reproductive capabilities.

Of course, this is just one study with a non-representative sample (participants were recruited using online advertisements, listserv messages, on-campus announcements, in-print magazine ads, snowballing methods, and invitations sent to previous study participants), so more research is needed to understand the extent of this form of trans exclusion and the reasons driving it.

But despite the limitations, these results clearly indicate that although the visibility of transgender people is on the rise, we still have a long way to go to reach trans equality.

Discrimination? Straight men want a woman with a vagina.

A man who dresses as a woman and calls himself a woman but has dude equipment. Has never had a menstrual cycle, got pregnant gone through pregnancy, child birth, or menopause. Would still be a man to me.

@LadyKat: I don’t even need to watch this video this is really lame this would be like forcing someone to date whomever they are not attracted to. I can tell by the dude doing the video pic of him is on the video he would be talking about. He is trying to look like a woman but you can tell he a man by his neck.

I just cannot see any straight man wanting to date him because he grew his hair long and put womens clothing on if you still have dude equipment you are still a dude to me. Every straight man I know wants to date a woman with a vagina.

No law is going to force someone to date someone they don’t want to date.

@LadyKat: I really don’t care what people do. But good luck forcing people to date someone they don’t want to date. That will never happen no matter what law they have out. How is not being attracted to someone a hate crime?

This would be going against my human rights to force to do do something I wouldn’t want to do.

That would be like forcing someone who is straight to date the same sex.

I have many friends from Canada never heard of this. Happy I don’t live there or NY.

Discrimination has become a dirty word, but it meaning and appropriate use in daily life is and always will be quite reasonable and moral. What I mean is that it is wrong to discriminate on the basis of a criteria which should be irrelevant. For instance, it is wrong to pick your tenants and employees on the basis of race, creed, sex, etc; because those criteria are not relevant to their job, etc. However, it is not wrong to discriminate where relevant, say you are looking for firemen. And part of the job requires moving heavy hoses and breaking down doors. If a woman can be meet the requirements for the job, she should get it, if not then should not be allowed. There will probably be fewer women than men, but that is fair because the discrimination was not on sex but on strength.

Straight men sexually want women parts and not men parts. Here the discrimination is personal freedom and the right to a sexual preference. It does not matter what is going on in the mind of the transgender person and how they identify themselves. No one has the right to impose their views on others. And we are free to date who we want.

This is an all to common tactic of narrowly focused liberal thought, that they can shame people into thinking the “right” (their) way by threatening to make society see them as a bigot, racism, supremacist, misogynist, etc.

While there has been significant progress for the LGBTQ+ movement in recent years, there is still some stigma attached to trans dating.

Less forward-thinking people don’t just have problems with trans people, they can also feel animosity towards straight or cisgender people who do find them people attractive.

Cisgender men who date transgender women can find their own sexuality in question, as the assumption is that they might be gay or bi. The same applies to cisgender women dating trans men; they often find themselves being labelled as lesbians or bisexual.

However, none of these assumptions must be true. If you are a straight guy who is attracted to a trans woman, it’s because you see her as a woman and probably nothing else. Similarly, cisgender women are often attracted to trans men because they identify them as men, which is where the attraction lies.

Dating a trans person is much the same as dating any other person, regardless of their gender identity. Everyone comes with their own set of emotional baggage, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and everyone has their own lovely quirks.

Certainly, there may be some conversations to have when it comes to intimacy, but it isn’t particularly different between couples of any sexual or gender identity. As long as you treat each other with respect, your relationship stands as much chance of success as any other.

How to date a transgender person

What to Consider while dating a Trans Person

Being transamorous and dating a trans person can be as rewarding and as frustrating as dating anyone else.

Transsexual people want to be treated as the gender they identify with whereas transgender people might want not want to be labelled as one of the two genders and rather as non-binary, and that’s the best place to start.

If you’re specifically looking to date a member of the community, you’ll find plenty of LGBTQ+-centric dating sites, where users are up-front about their identity and orientation.

However, if you’re someone with a kink for trans men or women, then look elsewhere. The vast majority of trans dating sites are for people looking for lasting, meaningful relationships, rather than wanting to be the focus of someone else’s fantasy.

If you’re cisgender, regardless whether you’re queer or straight, and have found yourself in the early stages of a relationship with a trans person, we’ve put together some solid tips of dos and don’ts that can help to keep things open, honest, and loving.

Don’t know what to do with your trans date? Watch one of our picks of the best LGBT films on a romantic movie night.

Some basic rules

While the fundaments of dating are the same for everyone, there are a few things that can help to be aware of:

  • Don´t overshoot the target with intimate questions. Unless they decide to talk about it, asking what your date has down their trousers or skirt is crass and strictly off-limits. If things look as though they’re heading towards intimacy, that conversation is likely to happen of its own accord. Your date will respect you as much as you respect them.
  • It is never, NEVER okay to refer to your date with their dead-name, or even to ask about surgeries or hormone treatment. This can trigger someone’s trauma and is simply harrassment.
  • Ask them about the pronouns they prefer. Depending on which gender they identify with, your crush will want to be addressed with ‘her’, ‘him’, or ‘they’. Asking them about it when you start talking will prove how genuine your intentions are.
  • Be aware of what you’re saying to a trans person. Comments such as “If you hadn’t told me, I’d never have known” might sound like a compliment inside your head but can come across insulting in the real world.
  • Learn about the trans community. The internet is full of resources and information about gender and sexual diversity. A date is supposed to be fun and where two people get to flirt and know each other, rather than the Spanish Inquisition. If you’ve got questions about gender dysphoria, for example, hit the ‘net or, better still, if you have non-binary or trans friends, ask them any questions that you might want answered.
  • Other people may stare and even pass comment. The smartest thing in most situations is to ignore them and to ensure that your date feels as comfortable as possible. But, if you would stand-up for a cis-woman, you shouldn´t hold yourself back and protect your date from harassment as well.

How to date a transgender person

What do you want from your relationship ?

Want to read about activist trans celebrities? Read up on who is helping to pave the way!

If you’re looking to date out of curiosity or to realise a sexual fantasy, then you’re likely to be given short shrift. A lot of trans people are on the lookout for something long-term and loving, rather than being the object of a fetish.

Asking yourself what you want from your relationship can be a great place to start. The person you’re dating has feelings, a past and a future. Be respectful of those and you can enjoy spending time together and discovering that vital, emotional connection and sculpting on a beautiful common future.

Activists, social media users, and outlets begin to normalize claims of transphobia to those who wouldn't date a trans person

alt=”Lionel Du Cane” width=”80″ height=”80″ />by Lionel Du Cane

How to date a transgender person

An increasingly popular belief is emerging online where it is deemed “transphobic” or “transphobia” to refuse to date a transgendered person.

The debate, polarizing communities and debate online, asks whether rejecting a sexual partner over their genitals constitutes “transphobia.”

How to date a transgender person

The bulk of social media users who do not belong to a sexual or hard-left political community dismiss the condemnation of “transphobia.”

But the term has become increasingly thrown around to malign people who are strictly heterosexual–and even a large portion of homosexual men, who wouldn’t consider dating a trans person.

Several social media users agree with the notion that refusing to date someone on the basis of their being trans, constitutes “transphobia.”

Transphobia is refusing to date trans people. Why?

Trans people come in every shape, size, and color. We are all different! There are trans men, trans women, and non-binary trans folks. Whatever genders, body types, body parts, or feature you are attracted to- it comes in trans.

also refusing to date a trans person bc they're trans is … literally transphobia….

refusing to date trans ppl is not "a preference", it's blatant transphobia

— alejandra (@lesbianaff) September 27, 2015

lmao when did we decide that openly refusing to date trans people isn't transphobia??

— pipe bomb gender reveal (@tendertrender) August 3, 2019

Some admit that the issue is akin to straddling a fine line between ‘prejudice’ and ‘phobia’ when answering the question.

LGBT magazine, Advocate, asked the question “Is Refusing to Date Trans People Transphobic?” in a recent headline.

In the article, they start by citing a 2018 study which “showed that only 1.8 percent of straight women and 3.3 percent of straight men would date a transgender person. A small minority of cisgender lesbians (29 percent) and gays (11.5 percent) would be willing.”

They continue, “Bisexual/queer/nonbinary participants (these were all combined into one group) were most open to having a trans partner, but even among them, just a slim majority (52 percent) were open to dating a transgender person.”

The article brings up right-wing outlet opinions before informing that, “One is that there are transgender people who are very attractive by any conventional standard. Another is that, according to data provided by PornHub, the U.S. is the world’s largest consumer of pornography, and trans porn is one of the most popular types.”

The author later asks after building a case, “is it transphobic to have a genital preference?” to which they respond, “I would argue that it is not, using the sort of logic that would be used in legal circles.”

But then, they go onto opine, “Namely, this rule can theoretically be applied neutrally across cisgender and transgender people. Thus, the rule of, ‘I am not attracted to people with a vagina’ or, ‘I am not attracted to people with a penis’ can be equally applied to both cisgender women and transgender men.”

The BBC asked in 2018 if it is “discriminatory to refuse to date a trans woman?” following an incident on a reality TV show where trans contestant, India Willoughby, asked other contestants questions on their dating preferences.

The exchange went as follows:

“Would you go out with a transsexual woman?” she queried.

“I believe it’s your choice… I would choose not to,” replied the R’n’B singer Ginuwine. “That doesn’t make me scared.”

“You would go out with a woman?” Willoughby asked.

“Yes.”

“But you wouldn’t go out with a transsexual woman?”

“No.”

The conversation rumbled on. When Willoughby suggested “Let’s have a kiss,” Ginuwine replied “no” and leaned away from her.

A recent meme circulating social media targeted a statistic where 98% of straight men would not sleep with a trans person.

The meme read, “98% of straight men are unwilling to date trans women because of hatred,” ending with: “this has to change.”

How to date a transgender person

When I moved to a new town in Pennsylvania a few years ago, I had no idea what a huge impact it would have on my life.

I knew a few people there, but it’s fair to say my social circle when I first moved wasn’t huge. It wasn’t until a few months later that Ty and I met, via Facebook. I’d seen som e of her online videos about being a transgender woman, and while few of my friends had said some nasty things about her, I wanted to get to know the real Ty. So I reached out and sent her a message.

She was very clear about who she was from the beginning, and I thought all I wanted was to be friends – until I started to form some very real romantic feelings for her.

When we began our relationship, I didn’t have too many fears or concerns about the two of us. I always respected her as a person, regardless of her transgender status. But when it came to other people, I was definitely worried about what they might say or think about us as a couple. I knew our relationship would turn the heads of my loved ones, but over time I learned to adopt Ty’s nonchalant attitude to other people’s negativity and criticism of my life choices. After I learned to reject their comments, our relationship became real and strong.

How to date a transgender person

My family always told me they’d love me no matter who I chose to be or who I chose to be with. However, they were still a little skeptical at first. In time, though, they accepted that Ty and I are very happy together, and I know it’s what they want for me now. As for my friends, most of them accept our relationship, praise how strong I’ve become since meeting Ty, and applaud how committed the two of us are to each other.

Like any couple, we have our arguments, but we always bounce back. The downs are mostly when Ty’s feeling self-conscious.I feel bad that I can’t help her, and that’s when we get frustrated with each other. Apart from that, she just gets angry at me when I let the dog come up on the couch!

How to date a transgender person

Being physically intimate together is very different from what I was used to, but through everything, I see her as a woman, emotionally and physically. In time, she may have gender confirmation surgery, but it won’t affect the way I feel about her. I’ll still love her the same, no matter what her anatomy looks like.

We’ve talked about the future of our relationship – marriage, kids – but all of that is a ways down the road. We would love to adopt, because I was adopted myself. Being adopted has made me a lot more accepting of people’s differences. Everyone has their own past and everyone has their own demons. Why discriminate?

How to date a transgender person

I wish more people understood that transgender men and women are people. Everyone has imperfections, whether physical or mental, and because of that we all should be treated fairly. Transgender people know exactly who they are, and nobody should be able to say anything different.

Ty has definitely changed me as a person for the better. I used to party all the time, and was very disconnected from my family. Being in this relationship has helped me see there are people out there who’ve had it a lot harder than I ever did. It honestly turned my whole life around.

Today I have a good job, stability, and a love I never thought possible, although I do feel that certain people think of me differently now. Some may want to label me as gay or bisexual, and while I have no problem with being gay or bisexual, it’s not who I am: I’m a straight man in love with a straight woman.

How to date a transgender person

There are so many amazing things about our connection, I love the chemistry in our relationship. Never in my life have I felt closer to another person. Even when we were just friends on social media, I fell in love with Ty’s personality. Everything feels different with her, and I love it. I love that she’s so feminine. I love her voice, her appearance, the way she carries herself, and the person she is.

If you feel a connection with someone, you shouldn’t second-guess it simply because they’re different. Choose to value them as a person. If I’d chosen to look the other way, I never would have met Ty, and I never would have known just how much of a difference one person could make in my life.