How to make a relationship work if you’re in college

How to make a relationship work if you're in college

If you're committed to your relationship, it's worth your time and energy to make it work while you and your significant other attend different colleges. Just because you're moving, it doesn't mean your feelings have changed! Staying committed to your high school sweetheart can offer structure and support in this time of uncertainty. But that's not to say it's easy—as you settle into your new life at college, it can be challenging to also think about (and meet) the needs of your partner. Though long-distance relationships are notoriously tough, there are steps you can take to ensure that your relationship complements your university experience. We asked the experts about what you can do so that you and your partner are honest and communicative while apart.

Set ground rules.

"Have a discussion before you leave for school about what your expectations are for the relationship," says Jen Kirsch, a freelance relationship columnist. "How often will you visit each other? Can you afford it? If your partner has a roommate, can you still stay in his or her dorm room?"

Create a balanced visiting schedule.

"Visit your partner once or twice a month," says Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out. "If you're visiting more than that, you could potentially make it difficult to develop a healthy social life at your school. If you're not going out much, you're not exposing yourself to the situations that create a rich life at college. It's really hard to choose the awkwardness and the insecurity of not having a lot of friends at your new school over being with someone who's familiar to you."

Prioritize schoolwork.

"Check in with yourself and see what your comfort level is," says Kirsch. "If you plan a visit on a specific date and you get a big assignment that you don't think you can handle, be clear with your partner. Just don't leave the conversation until a day before the trip! It's not helpful to be passive aggressive and complain about how much work you have. Communicate clearly."

Share your college experience with your partner.

"A great way to strengthen your bond while you're separated is to send photos of your new life," says Kirsch. "These could be pictures of you and your college roommate, or your college campus. Plan a dinner date on Skype. You can both cook and pretend it's as if you're actually having a date together. Your partner will feel part of your life when you share your day-to-day happenings."

Be open and honest.

"Honesty is important because this is somebody you love and feel strongly about, and you don't want to hurt your partner," says Catherine Birndorf, a women's mental health expert who co-authored The Nine Rooms of Happiness with Lucy Danziger, editor of SELF. "Hurting may mean holding on when you need to let go. Being honest doesn't mean just saying if you kissed someone else. If you're started to have feelings for another person or things are changing, be honest about that."

But try not to over-share.

"It can be hurtful to be over-honest," says Birndorf. "I call it truth dumping when you share everything, like saying you have a crush on someone else. Be organized about how candid you are."

Stay calm and levelheaded.

"Don't make assumptions when you aren't together about why something's happening," says Simmons. "For example, if you don't hear from the person you're dating as often as you did before, that doesn't mean that he or she is necessarily hooking up with someone else. Take the time to find out what's wrong. That's actually one of the big causes of relationship drama: because you're apart, it's easy to make up stories in your head about why something's happening, and that's the kiss of death."

Moderate public displays of affection on social media platforms.

"You don't want to constantly post on your partner's Facebook wall, 'Hi baby! Thinking of you today!' says Kirsch. "Posting a countdown to when you see him or her is too much. It puts public pressure on your partner and it makes it seem as though you're being territorial and possessive, even if you're being sincere."

Think before you text.

"Be in touch because you want to say something or find out how the other person is; don't communicate out of panic or insecurity," says Simmons. "If you find yourself texting or calling a lot, ask yourself why you're doing that. Is it because you're afraid of losing someone? Or because you're uncomfortable where you are? Know why you're communicating."

Manage your expectations.

"As important as this relationship is, realize that you're entering a totally new world," says Birndorf. "It's complicated to reconcile the old and the new. Be honest with yourself—is this what you want? You're not doing your partner any favors to stay with him or her because you feel guilty."

I’ll be honest, at 18, I was staunchly against the idea of continuing high school relationships into college. Was I in a relationship at the time? Of course not! Did I lecture my coupled-up friends at length about the benefits of heading to college untethered? Absolutely! "You’re already going to a different college than your boyfriend," I’d explain. "You should just cut all ties and move on." It was ridiculous for a variety of reasons.

One: What the hell did I know? I was 18, had just gotten dumped for the first time, and was entering into my first-ever "Men are monsters and we don’t need them" phase. Two: My sister and now brother-in-law were high school sweethearts who did a brilliant job of maintaining their relationship from different colleges. So brilliant, in fact, that they got married a few years after commencement and now have a (SUPER CUTE) son together.

The point is, High School Genevieve had no idea what she was talking about when she hopped up on a soapbox and screamed about how insane it was to try and make a relationship work when you’re at different colleges. But you know who does know what they’re talking about? All of the women quoted below. Because they’ve been there, done that, and understand exactly what it takes to make it work.

So, here are five ladies’ top tips for managing a relationship when you and your SO are headed to different colleges. Take it from the pros.

University interaction: 9 Tips for a relationship in College. Lots of college students enter into relations in college however it’s not always healthy and balanced.

Uncomfortable with internet dating attending college or need some advice on moving college relations? Effectively, you’re in luck.

While we tend to be more mature and more adult than we were in twelfth grade, all of us still need a lot to learn when considering internet dating in college.

If you are happy, you’ll finish up with a superb boyfriend/girlfriend. Especially most of us, it’s constantly challenging.

If you are thinking about getting into a connection attending college or unclear about the right one you are really in, here are several university online dating suggestions to let.

Tricks for a relationship attending college: 1. If you’re unclear, it’s perhaps not worthwhile

We’ve all held it’s place in ‘situationships’ wherein most of us weren’t just certain what we should sit with individuals. If this describes your circumstance, then you need to get started with contemplating allowing that person go.

If someone actually cares with regards to you then you’ll never have to wonder they.

Might you favour some one treat you would like a choice or a top priority?

Never market your self an abbreviation of those who dont visit your benefit!

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2. understand what you’d like (or at least people don’t desire)

You know how you go to the food store without an inventory therefore finish up paying lots of time within, shopping for a lot of belongings, and still controlling to ignore crucial things?

That’s primarily exactly what it’s like in case you date without a purpose. You then see harmed during this process south-korean beauties girls.

Have a notable idea of what you long for in a connection and just what elements that you want their boyfriend/girlfriend for.

That way you will be pickier (it is never a terrible thing) any time you’re romance, but pleased whenever you settle.

3. ready their specifications big

This package is so thus soooo crucial!

do not try letting anyone reveal to you or make one feel as if you should not generally be managed just like all that and a bag of potato chips! (and I’m definitely not discussing the potato chips with 90percent surroundings!)

Be certain in who you really are, what you desire, and the thing you realize an individual are entitled to. do not accept someone who cures you would like you’re just acceptable.

& in this article’s a thing it is wise to keep in mind:

Simply because a guy/girl respects your, doesn’t suggest you borrowed these people anything at all.

A person have earned is trustworthy. Your need sincerity and devotion.

Don’t envision simply because you can get that that you should settle down by doing so individual. As you currently are entitled to they, they’re primarily performing the bare minimum – so number, they ought ton’t always see a pat the back for that. it is acceptable to want a whole lot more.

Similar: Warning Signs of a Toxic union: 4 kinds poisonous interaction which are stopping you moving forward

4. won’t do a comparison of your very own dating lifestyle

You have relatives which look to be in healthy and balanced associations or using a lot more luck internet dating than one.

All those things glitters just isn’t silver.

Your dont know very well what goes on behind closed doors therefore you shouldn’t admire the other many people have.

Be patient and wait for very best spouse. won’t rush into items because you become overlooked.

5. Don’t fail neighbors

When you start a relationship some one, it is often simple have all wrapped right up inside them. But this ought to never be at the cost of their friendships.

Your buddies comprise to you before your connection so you shouldn’t kick them to the reduce if you get a hold of anyone.

Hopefully, your connection will work outside, in the expensive vacation event it will don’t you’re going to need friends to find across the split up.

What lies ahead thing you can do try drive these to the medial side while having to mend your very own friendship after a were unsuccessful connection.

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6. won’t imagine pressured

If there are certain things you aren’t at ease with accomplishing at this time (or whatever), don’t believe forced to make it happen.

If you’re matchmaking someone that allows you to experience pressed then chances are you should contact all of them and make sure these people comprehend.

Somebody that genuinely cares in regards to you would not set you in such an unpleasant position.

This is often doing naughty things, meeting, and doing other items that you just aren’t at ease with.

Don’t bargain your self for anyone.

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7. become yourself

Is it possible you instead end up being with somebody who enables you to become safe and confident with the person really happen to be, or would to would rather need to don a masks around your face frequently?

You didn’t think so.

Don’t modification by yourself or claim to enjoy stuff that a person don’t to win over anyone.

Yourself are far more easy should you decide try to be by yourself, as cliche while it looks.

By doing this you’ll the natural way bring somebody who wants the exact same things whenever and means a genuine union.

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8. won’t get clingy, provide them with some place

This one runs both means. It’s clear to need to blow lots of time with a person if you’re in a relationship together with them or like their own team. Nevertheless should always make the time to bring one another some space.

Space for just what, you may well ask?

Nicely, it’s vital that you go out with your family, and become efficient creating other stuff without 1.

A while between your two will likewise cause need to see friends even more, versus look forward to a break.

We’re not saying you have to delegate moments separated, by itself, just dont consider you have to shell out every moment of any week by doing so individual. 1 day apart should not destroy your very own partnership, most people guarantee.

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9. won’t worry about what people think

It’s really common for everyone to voice their particular (unwanted) feedback of which many are actually dating/have a crush on, etc.

Customers may state aspects of the thing they would/wouldn’t settle for based around your needs or transmit his or her feedback onto you.

You know your very own romance get back people better than anybody else. Don’t enable someone who has simply got word of one parts (if anything more) relating to your connection clarify what actions one should create.

Additionally – ignore individuals the moment they discuss somebody you enjoy mainly because it doesn’t in shape their expectations.

College Relationships: 9 strategies for romance attending college. A lot of students get in affairs in college however it’s never healthy.

Nervous about matchmaking attending college or need some advice for moving institution connections? Perfectly, you’re fortunate.

While we happen to be earlier and adult than we were in high school, all of us still have too much to see in terms of going out with in college.

If you’re fortunate, you’ll find yourself with a magnificent boyfriend/girlfriend. But for many of us, it is usually a struggle.

If you’re considering entering into a relationship in college or confused about one you’re in, here are several college going out with how to assist.

Hints for matchmaking in College: 1. If you’re unsure, it’s perhaps not worth it

We’ve all held it’s place in ‘situationships’ just where most people weren’t precisely certain whatever you remain with people. If this sounds like your position, you will want to start contemplating permitting your face get.

If someone truly cares in regards to you next you’ll never have to matter they.

Do you really go for anybody heal you like a possibility or a top priority?

Never offer your self short for individuals who don’t see your benefit!

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2. really know what you prefer (or perhaps the thing you don’t aim)

You probably know how you visit the supermarket without a listing while finish up paying time within, buying a bunch of goods, yet still dealing with to disregard vital objects?

That’s really what it’s like if you date without an objective. You will also come harm in the act.

Know of what you desire in a connection and just what elements you prefer their boyfriend/girlfriend to get.

That way you will be pickier (it is not always a terrible thing) as soon as you’re relationship, but more happy once you subside.

3. established their specifications big

This method is really very soooo essential!

do not let individuals say or make you feel like you should not feel treated as with any can a case of chips! (and I’m definitely not making reference to the potato chips with 90percent environment!)

Be certain in what you are about, what you long for, and that which you know we are entitled to. won’t settle for somebody that addresses you want you’re simply ok.

& here’s one thing it is best to recall:

Because a guy/girl respects one, doesn’t indicate you owe all of them anything at all.

Your have earned staying respectable. We should have trustworthiness and devotion.

won’t imagine mainly because obtain that that you should settle by doing so individual. Because you previously are entitled to it, they’re basically undertaking the minimum – thus simply no, they mustn’t fundamentally have a pat on rear for your. it is all right to want a lot more.

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4. Don’t assess your own dating existence

Maybe you have associates just who appear to be in healthier relationships or having a whole lot more success online dating than one.

Whatever glitters is not silver.

An individual dont know very well what proceeds nowadays therefore you shouldn’t envy how many other individuals have.

Be patient and wait for best spouse. won’t start on anything since you become exclude.

5. Don’t disregard neighbors

When you start online dating individuals, it is typically simple come all covered right up in them. But this ought to not be at the expense of their friendships.

Friends and family comprise to you before your very own union therefore you shouldn’t quit those to the suppress as soon as you select some body.

With a little luck, your romance will continue to work on, but also in the big event it willn’t you’re going to need friends and family to have around breakup.

An ucertain future action you can take is actually thrust these to the side and have required your very own friendship right after a were unsuccessful connection.

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6. Don’t experience forced

If there are actually certain issues aren’t comfortable with starting at this time (or whatever), dont think forced to get it done.

If you’re matchmaking somebody who allows you to be experience forced then you should confer with all of them and ensure they discover.

Somebody that genuinely cares about you could not set you in such a distressing position.

This is both making love, meeting, and undertaking any other thing which you aren’t more comfortable with cambodian brides.

won’t damage on your own for anybody.

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7. feel by yourself

Can you somewhat be with someone that allows you to experience as well as at ease with the person certainly were, or would to choose to really need to use a masks around your face always?

We didn’t think-so.

won’t modification by yourself or pretend to enjoy points that one dont to affect anybody.

Your way of life can be far more easy any time you only be by yourself, as cliche like it sounds.

As planned you’ll normally attract an individual who enjoys the same products whenever and make a true romance.

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8. do not feel clingy, allow them to have some area

This amazing tool runs both strategies. it is understandable to want to pay time and effort with an individual if you’re in a connection with these people or enjoy their particular organization. However, you preferably should make sure to promote both some room.

Space for just what, you may well ask?

Perfectly, it is crucial that you spend some time in your buddies, and also be successful undertaking any other thing without friends.

A little time between one two may also prompt you to need to see 1 a whole lot more, versus anticipate some slack.

We’re not saying you have to delegate your time aside, by itself, just dont imagine you’ll have to shell out every minute for each time thereupon people. 1 day aside is not going to deteriorate their union, all of us guarantee.

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9. do not be concerned with what people feel

It’s typical for people to voice his or her (unwanted) viewpoints of who others are generally dating/have a break on, etc.

Folks may declare reasons for what they would/wouldn’t endure dependent on your needs or propose the company’s experiences onto you.

You realize their commitment by doing so individual better than anybody else. do not try letting somebody who has merely heard about one parts (if anything more) concerning your commitment let you know exactly what judgements you should prepare.

Likewise – overlook someone the moment they reply to anybody you want as it does not healthy their requirements.

How to make a relationship work if you're in college

Being twenty-something is awkward, confusing and not always easy. Cramming for exams, choosing a career, experimenting sexually—shit gets weird. Dating becomes more challenging than it was when you were younger: you often can’t see each other on a daily basis, you have to deal with money and time management, stress levels are high and social media reeks havoc. So is it worth it to even enter the dating scene? Or is staying school and career focused the smart thing to do?

Well I don’t have an answer for you. Deciding to date during college is a decision everyone must make individually. However, I can offer some useful information to help you make a more informed decision that best fits your needs.

The Science

I recently got out of a long-term relationship and felt extremely down, unmotivated and frankly just sad. Things ended on good terms; we both want different things, but we are still friends, so I could not figure out why I had this lingering lousy feeling. I decided it must be some chemical reaction in my brain forcing the feels to fall upon me. I took to the internet to prove my theory and reassuringly enough, I was right!

According to a study by neuroscientists at Columbia University, the same brain activity takes place during a break-up as when you’re physically hurt. When you look at pictures of, or think about, an ex-partner the part of your brain that processes pain is stimulated, thus causing pain. This is important to consider when thinking of entering a relationship; although it might be rainbows and butterflies to start, if the relationship ends, you are going to be distracted for a period of time after. On the bright side there are ways to shorten the time you feel pain after a relationship, such as putting photos and sentimental objects out of sight and busying yourself with other activities.

During the start of a relationship there is also brain activity that can cause distractions. According to a different study that compared relationships with drug addictions, they found that “dopamine is involved in both drug addiction and the early, obsessive stages of love.” This chemical being released in you brain during the start of a relationship can cause you to become obsessive and to have “cravings” for your partner. Although this may be sweet for a hot minute, it could end up interfering with other important parts of your life such as school and work.

Building student relationships is the single most effective and important teaching technique teachers can use. If there is one thing that will make or break your year, it comes down to the relationship you have with each student in your classroom. It sets the tone for your classroom and the entire year.

Maya Angelou wisely said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Students who are learning in a caring environment with a teacher who shows an interest in them typically try harder, behave better, and have a more positive outlook of school.

Building student relationships is free

Teachers spend a fortune on decorating their classrooms, buying items for their classroom, and creating treasure chests and reward systems.

Think back to the classrooms you sat in and think about how many you remember. If you’re like most people, you remember the teacher and the students, but don’t recall much about the physical room.

I recommend that you forget spending money on rewards, decorations, and fancy supplies.

Have you ever had a student say, “Thanks for spending your money on cute bulletin boards. They’ve really changed my life.”

Have you spent hours of your time and money to give your class a special reward and been met with complaints, whining, or indifference?

And let’s face it, as a teacher, you don’t have a ton of extra money to spend.

Instead, I suggest investing in your students with your time, listening, and compassion. The payoffs are higher, the memories more lasting, and the results more impactful. And, it doesn’t cost you anything financially.

How to make a relationship work if you're in college

Good relationships improve student success

When you build student relationships you can increase student success. Students who like and respect their teacher and know that their teacher likes and respects them will bend over backward for that teacher. That means they are more likely to do what is asked of them and try harder.

According to the American Psychology Association, students who have “close, positive and supportive relationships with their teachers will attain higher levels of achievement than those students with more conflict in their relationships.”

One reason for this is that when you build a good relationship you are providing a secure base that helps the student feel safer making mistakes and accepting challenges. They trust you will be there to help them through when they fail.

This feeling is important for students in an era when teachers commonly see one of thee two trends:

  1. An environment in which parents don’t allow their children to fail and learn from their mistakes
  2. An environment that is indifferent or non-supportive when it comes to academic learning

While you are not, nor should you try to be, the parent, you can help provide students the support and structure they need in the classroom to improve academic success.

Teachers who build good relationships experience fewer discipline problems

Frequently, teachers who have a harder time with classroom management have not taken the time to build relationships with their students. It is much easier to misbehave for a teacher if you do not like or respect them.

I learned early on in my teaching career to build relationships with troubled students quickly. By finding a few interests they had and talking to them daily, I was able to show interest in them as a person. Soon they were coming to me to tell me about their fishing trips, engine rebuilding, hunting expeditions, etc. The topic didn’t matter. If I had no idea what they were talking about, I asked questions and along the way learned a lot too!

The upside to all of this was that in my high school classroom, I rarely had discipline problems. I was able to gauge their bad days, give a quick look or move over and say a few words of encouragement, and that was usually all it took to reign in misbehavior.

Does it work 100 percent of the time, of course not. But it works most of the time. I’ve even had students who gave other teachers fits, stand up to other students who were trying to give me a hard time.

Positive relationships result in better outlook on school

Positive interactions between teacher and student benefit everyone.

Students who have a good relationship with their teachers tend to have a better outlook of school in general. These students tend to have better attendance, fewer suspensions, and are more likely to stay in school.

Research has also shown that teachers who develop good relationships with their students also enjoy their jobs more fully.

A classroom full of good attitudes, smiles, and encouragement is an environment in which all people can thrive.

Good relationships result in long-term effects

An article published by the American Psychology Association reveals that one long-term benefit of a positive teacher-student relationship was improved adult health.

Another study showed that students who had good relationships with teachers and peers in middle school and high school reported having better mental and physical health in their mid-20s.

Likewise, negative student-teacher relationships can have harmful long-term effects, including “a greater chance of having physical health issues, psychological illnesses, and adulthood health-harming behaviors.”

Teachers continue to have an impact long after students have left school.

My experience building student relationships

I’ve never had a student come back and thank me for changing out my bulletin board, for throwing them a reward party, or for spending money on a class event. But I have had many, many students thank me for the time I spent making them feel important by listening to and encouraging them.

Over the years, I have had students contact me to tell me they got their GED, went back to college and graduated in their 30s, started a business, or chose to go to college for a career they had never dreamed about until having me for a teacher.

I’ve had former students contact me and thank me for not giving up on them, for seeing something in them no one else did, and for pushing them for more.

The common thread of all of those exchanges was they wanted me to know they had succeeded and to thank me for the impact I had made in their lives. They knew I cared about them and would want to know.

Did I do anything extraordinary? No. I invested a little time. I simply took a genuine interest in them personally and developed a human relationship built on caring and trust.

So I ask you, which teachers do you remember from your school days? How do you want to be remembered?

Investing in the time to build a relationship with your students will have big payoffs now, but will have lasting impact in the future as well. Building good student relationships truly benefits everyone.

How to make a relationship work if you're in college

If it’s results day for you today, you’re probably panicking for a number of reasons.

Will you be able to pursue the career you want? Will you make friends at your university or college? How can you keep your relationship going when you’re both going to different unis?

If you’ve spent time building a successful relationship at school, the distance thing certainly throws a spanner in the works. But, it doesn’t need to be the end.

Choosing to stay together and do a long distance relationship can definitely work, but you need to put in work to make that happen.

Dedicate time to each other

A FaceTime date night isn’t as great as the real thing but it bridges a gap when necessary.

We can all be guilty of a ‘call you later’ text that never materialises in an actual call so set out a time you’re free and stick to it.

It can be as small as starting a movie at the same time and sending each other texts throughout. It’s the fact you’re both present (despite not being physically present) that matters most.

… And time to yourself

A big killer of relationships is resentment and these are supposed to be fun and exciting years for both of you.

Understand that neither of you needs to be at each other’s beck and call and building friendships is just as important as building your romantic relationship.

There’d be nothing worse than feeling like you missed out because of your partner so set boundaries from the start that allow time for both.

How to make a relationship work if you're in college

Don’t put pressure on yourself

When you do see each other, the awareness that you’ve spent money to be there and you only have a finite time IRL is heightened.

Forget feeling like you have to pack mind-blowing sex, fancy dates and important chats into your weekends or holidays and try to focus on just being together.

Holding hands and going for a walking in the park is just as meaningful as an expensive dressy dinner and you don’t need to be wearing Agent Provocateur and learn a new trick every time to make the sex fun.

Use tech to keep it fun

There are plenty of apps these days that can make life a lot easier, and that’s just as true in long distance relationships.

This guide has some of the best on the market at the moment.

Send each other silly quizzes online, or their horoscope every day. This means you won’t get stuck in a ‘how’s your day?’ rut, and you can keep learning more about them.

Get involved with new friends

Invite your partner to parties and social events so your friends can get to know them and you feel like your lives are intertwined.

If you go along to their university, make a point of being friendly with people they get on with – you’ll have new mutual pals and double up the friends you can make in first year.

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Practice radical honesty

You’re going to be going out more, meeting new people who aren’t mutual friends and growing as a person.

These are all great things, but can foster jealousy or nervousness about what the future holds. Combat those negative feelings by making a point to be honest with each other about your new life – warts and all.

Tell them if you feel you want space, as well as that you love that they make an effort to speak to you even when they’re busy. Tell them if you were out until 4am dancing with your mates or if you’re feeling lonely and missing them on a Friday night.

One big thing you’ll see at university is people who are a different person with their boyfriend or girlfriend from home compared to how they are with new friends. That’s not healthy, and tends to end in disaster.

Bear in mind, this doesn’t mean your partner can push boundaries and eat into your personal privacy (by hacking into your social media or monitoring everything you do, for example). It simply means being open about how you feel, and trusting that your partner is doing the same.

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How to make a relationship work if you're in college

Paul Keppel Will Pursue Long Distance Relationship

Students carrying over high school relationships into college may be bucking the odds, but it hasn’t stopped them from trying.

Of all college relationships, nearly 33 percent are long-distance, according to an iVillage survey.

But do they last? If you’re out of college, think about your Facebook friends: How many are still together with — or even married to — their high school sweethearts?

“It’s definitely possible, but it’s rare, because the chances of you knowing who you want to be with at 40 when you’re 17 are kind of low,” said Tracey Steinberg, a dating coach. “But it happens, and love is rare. And it’s worth the wait if it’s real.”

Going the (long) distance is not easy: Challenges including overcoming communication barriers, resisting the temptation of a fun, new social life and scraping together the finances to visit each other at separate schools.

How to make a relationship work if you're in college

Paul Keppel Will Pursue Long Distance Relationship

It’s a tough road. But the next time you grumble about a spotty Skype connection or a pricey plane ticket, think about Barbara Gee and Gordon Baranco.

The pair got together at age 16, despite the misgivings of their parents (Barbara is Chinese-American, and Gordon is African-American), who threatened to disown them.

They chose separate schools — she went to UC Berkeley, and he went to UC Davis. They broke up a bit, dated other people at the suggestion of their parents, but stayed in close touch.

“We were only about 100 miles apart, so we were able to see each other on weekends and over the summers, but what happened was because there was so much against us in the beginning, we did try to date other people, and split up,” Gee said. “Our parents insisted that we make sure that we looked at other people, to make sure this relationship would be a strong one. But we always remained best friends.”

Fifty years after high school graduation and two children later, Gee is confident it was meant to be.

“We could always talk to each other, and laugh at each other’s jokes, laugh at each other’s idiosyncrasies. I could tell him anything, he could tell me anything. It was an unconditional acceptance.”