Let’s say you have it all. You have looks, smarts, a great career and a wonderful sense of humor. Guys are intrigued by you for sure. Everyone that knows you thinks the world of you!
There’s just one problem. When you’re around your crush, your heart melts a little bit and you start to feel self-conscious.
Maybe you’re naturally self-conscious around other people. Maybe you’re never going to be as movie star-like as Marilyn Monroe. But guess what? You don’t have to be. You don’t have to fake it or pretend to be someone you’re not.
Instead, read over these lessons to learn how to project confidence naturally.
1. Dress in an attractive manner and take pride in your appearance.
Put on something that you like, feel comfortable in, and that others compliment you on. Stand up straight and tall and look men in the eye when you talk to them. This immediately establishes you as a confident woman. Avoid the urge to look away or giggle like a schoolgirl. Show respect to a man (and to yourself) by engaging him in conversation. When you feel attractive, men will sense this about you and will feel attracted.
2. Only talk about positive, humorous and fun things.
If you have the tendency to be negative (about others or about yourself) turn this voice off! Be positive about everyone. Accept a compliment. Always let your man know that you’re having fun talking to him, and that you enjoy a good laugh. (But again, avoid laughing at every single statement) Be careful not to make fun of the guy you’re talking to…instead, find things in common and share your sense of humor.
3. Don’t challenge a man’s ego. Instead, challenge him to “chase you.”
Men do NOT like women that fight them, insult them or condescend to them like a teacher in high school. On the other hand, they do enjoy a woman who is fun, flirty but he plays a little hard to get. This dynamic makes them irresistibly attracted to you, because they sense that you like them…but that you’re a little hard to impress. They want to work for it!
4. Don’t be afraid to study female role models who had a certain look and style you like.
If you admire a celebrity, artist, politicians or some other well known person then it might help to adopt some of their characteristics…at least in the beginning.
I don’t believe it’s wise to “become” that person for the rest of your life, obviously. But if you just need a little push to get started in talking to attractive men, it may help to dress like your favorite person and mimic their style. Eventually, you will adopt your own style and that will be the most attractive persona!
5. Learn about your crush’s hobbies, ambitions or career interests.
While it’s a good thing to be well read and keep up with the news, an even better way to impress your crush is to research some of the things he likes. You don’t have to outdo him in knowledge! Just keep up with him. Research some of the names, dates and significant events in his favorite subject. He will very impressed that you took an interest.
6. Be an excellent listener.
Far too many attractive women fail the listening test. They may “hear him” when he speaks, but they tend to nod and not give him any real emotion. They don’t ask questions. They basically send him a message of disinterest. Become more confident by focusing less attention on what you say, and more attention on what he’s saying.
7. If you’re nervous about hitting a lull in the conversation, plan ahead.
It’s okay to rehearse—though you should think more about notes rather than memorizing a script. Decide in advance what stories you want to share (humorous, interesting, moral of the story, adventure, etc.) and pull one out if there’s a long pause in the conversation. If you’re worried about sounding silly, then avoid certain topics that might make you feel self-conscious. Stick to subjects you both enjoy.
8. Talk to more men in general.
If you get self-conscious around most guys, then don’t just limit yourself to your crush. Talk to more men so you can learn to relax in their presence over time. You’re obviously not going to be attracted to every man you meet. Take advantage of this and learn how to talk to people that don’t make you nervous, so that you can better practice with men that do. Consider these low-pressure rehearsals for more interesting conversations you’ll have later on with your real crush.
9. Let HIM chase YOU!
It’s natural for a woman to feel nervous if she’s shamelessly pursuing a man. And believe me, he notices! He might be flattered…or he might be creeped out. So play it safe and encourage HIM to chase you. This means that while you do like him, you don’t respond to everything he says…you make him work a little bit for your full attention. Aim to be a little more reserved than him, so that he feels the pressure to make conversation instead of you. Reward him with a laugh or with more questions, after he tries to keep the conversation going.
10. Dress for men everywhere. Look and feel sexy.
Always remember: He wants you. Even if it’s not true, just being aware of all the men who are looking at you and wondering about you will help you increase your confidence. Better yet, it will increase their motivation to “compete” for your attention. Sometimes taking the more subtle approach and glancing at a man, daring him to come over, is the better way to convey interest—and it also gives you a great confidence boost!
Practice makes perfect so aim to talk to more people and when in doubt, remember:
Be nice. Be mysterious. Be hard to impress but easy to chat with. Men will always find you the most interesting woman in the room.
Why Good Men Leave Great Women
Here’s a sad truth that EVERY woman needs to know…
Even if you’re the seemingly PERFECT woman for a man, he still might leave you…
Most women try to make a man THINK she’s the right woman for him. But here’s the problem…
Men don’t fall in love with a woman, marry her, move mountains for her, and treat her like a queen because he thinks he should…
A man will only do these because of how he FEELS…
If you want a man to feel like you’re THE most important person in his life…
A woman who he obsessively thinks about and who he WANTS to be romantic to, spoil, and treat like a queen, you need to go watch this video right now…
Believe it or not, there’s a secret sequence of phrases that can make thinking about you, being a gentleman for you, and falling deeply in love with you and only you completely IRRESISTIBLE to a man…
It will send shivers down his spine and make him feel like he’s the luckiest man in the world to have you all to himself.
P.S. These phrases are called “The Love Frames” and they change the way a man sees you so that he can finally see and fall in love with the REAL you…
No more trying to convince him you’re the right woman for him…
No more giving everything to a relationship only to be taken for granted…
Instead, use these words to connect to his heart and make him see you as the amazing, beautiful goddess you are…
Manly confidence is quiet; it’s unpretentious. But when a man walks into a room who has acquired this confidence, people can feel it.
The steps below will get you on the right track for increasing your confidence. Implement them into your life and you’ll see results quickly.
Spruce up your appearance. Take time for proper grooming and dressing. Does this mean you have to go metrosexual and lather yourself in creams? No. It does mean to take time for a basic grooming routine and learning the basics of dressing appropriately. Shower and shave everyday. Brush your teeth. Run a comb through your hair. While these things are simple, you’d be surprised by the number of men who fail to do them.
In addition, take time to actually dress yourself in the morning. Wearing sweat pants and a ratty t-shirt makes you look like a bum, not someone who is confident. A good rule of thumb is to dress so you wouldn’t be embarrassed to meet a woman or business contact later for an impromptu lunch. You’ll be able to strike the right balance of casualness and formality.
Check out our men’s style archives for ideas on how to improve your appearance.
Set goals and meet them. Confident men make goals and keep them. Goals are promises we make to ourselves. How can you have confidence in yourself if you can’t keep a promise to yourself? Start making and keeping goals today by setting one goal that you can accomplish today and do it. If you constantly sleep in, make a goal to wake up early and do it. If you feel unorganized, make it goal to plan your day out and do it. By setting and keeping small goals, you’ll start to increase your confidence. As your confidence increases, you’ll be able to set and achieve bigger goals which in turn boosts your confidence even more. It’s a self-feeding cycle, but it all starts with keeping small goals.
Exercise. Nothing can boost manly confidence like exercise. The increased blood flow makes you feel good and hormones are released that boost your confidence. You don’t need a gym membership to start exercising. Start today using bodyweight exercises.
Learn a new skill. Confident men are constant learners. By learning a new skill, you demonstrate to yourself that you’re capable of adapting to anything that life throws at you. There are millions of skills that you can acquire in this life. Find one you’ve always wanted to know and get to work on it. Want to know a martial art? Call a dojo and sign up for a class. Want to learn how to fix a car? Go to the library today and check out books on auto repair. Just do something , damn it!
Take stock of past success. Sit down in your man chair and dim the lights. Think back to moments in life when you were successful. They don’t have to be huge successes. By remembering past successes, you’ll show yourself you’re not a complete screw up. Realizing you can succeed breeds confidence to take on new activities. Write down these pasts successes in a journal. When you need a confidence boost, whip it out and look through them.
It’s no secret that confident men have an unfair advantage with women. W omen naturally love, even lust after a man who appears to be confident.
Confident men do certain things differently compared to most guys; that’s why they can attract almost any woman without seeming to break a sweat.
If you simply model these things, you’ll find women swooning over you without even trying. Even the ones you thought were “out of your league”.
The first thing confident men do which most guys don’t is they look into a woman’s eyes when they speak.
#1 Look into her eyes when you speak
Making eye contact while listening is easy, a lmost everyone can do that. W hen a man can look into our eyes when he speaks, it shows he isn’t shy or nervous.
It shows rock-solid confidence. By making eye contact when he speaks, he holds our attention, and unconsciously sparks attraction.
It’s a simple little thing, but the effect is enormous!
I have seen a lot of guys struggle with making eye contact when they speak. If you’re one of them, I have a cool hack for you.
Start making eye contact with women you speak with for approximately 3 seconds at a time.
Break eye contact after 3 seconds. And then repeat the cycle as many times as you can.
Think of it like a game if you will. Play this game often, and you’ll become comfortable making eye contact almost overnight!
As a result, you’ll appear insanely confident to any woman you speak to.
The second thing that confident men do differently is they
#2 Make playful jokes
Making jokes is a social risk. Especially when you’re talking to a stranger or someone you don’t know properly.
You risk coming across as weird, lame, or even inappropriate.
That’s why most guys stick to safe, mundane stuff. Things like “what do you do for work?”, “how was your weekend?” or “where are you from?”.
Confident men are different. They’re not afraid to be silly and playful.
They’re not afraid to make jokes, tease us and indulge in playful banter. They risk coming across as lame, weird or inappropriate.
Yet, they don’t care as long as they are enjoying themselves. As a result, not only do they show confidence, they also make the interaction fun and engaging. Because of this our attraction for them skyrockets.
So, next time you’re talking to a woman, don’t be afraid to goof off a little; be silly and be playful.
You’ll be surprised at how well your interactions go, and how easily you spark attraction.
The third thing that confident men do that most guys don’t is…
#3 They say NO
You see, women are never sexually interested in a “yes” man who agrees to everything they say.
Why? Because these guys come off as needy people pleasers with low self-esteem. In fact, these guys end up in the friend-zone most often.
What women really desire is a man who will say no when he should; a man who has boundaries. A man who will share his ideas, values and beliefs openly, even if it directly opposes our ideas, values and beliefs.
If a man can’t stand up for his own ideas and beliefs, how can we expect him to stand up for us?
So learn to say no if you want to show her that you know how to be confident
It shows that you are confident and that you respect yourself, which in turn makes us respect you. Not only that, it also shows that you’re honest, which makes you trustworthy.
All that adds up to a man every woman would want to have.
The final thing confident men do that most guys don’t is…
#4 They take charge
Confident men are proactive. They are leaders. When they see a girl they like, they’ll approach her and risk being rejected.
They will lead the conversation from the get-go without seeking any validation.
If they want to go for the kiss they will go for it.
If they want to take the girl out on a date, they won’t say “Hey, will you go out with me this Saturday?”… (said in a low-volume, submissive tone)
They will tell the girl “Let’s go grab a coffee at Starbucks this Saturday!”
Taking charge shows you know how to be more confident than the average guy.
When you take charge, it establishes you as the high-status alpha male women crave to be with.
One of the main reasons girls love fictional characters like James Bond, Christian Grey or Don Draper is because they take charge.
Plus, a side-benefit of taking charge is you get women used to following your lead.
Establishing the “leader-follower dynamic” makes a woman 10x more likely to go out with you, sleep with you or become your girlfriend.
Now, if you start emulating even one of these strategies you will be stunned to see the way girls start treating you.
Though, I must confess there is one missing piece in the puzzle.
There’s a fifth thing confident men do really well which most guys are UNABLE to do.
And that’s flirting; the ability to ignite sexual chemistry with any girl you meet, in a matter of minutes!
Most guys SUCK at flirting. They can’t flirt their way out of a paper bag.
As your personal wing girl, I can’t let you be one of those guys.
That’s why I want to show you the most effective, step-by-step, formulaic approach to flirting with any girl you like.
You just apply the formula and see results instantly. It’s that powerful.
To find out everything about this flirting formula go to www.winggirlmethod.com
I made a special video for you where I reveal what this formula is all about.
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You’ve been sold a troubling message.
Confident, courageous and passionate men who get what they want are not jerks.
You can actually have everything you want in your life and relationship without leaving ashes and rubble behind.
Are you a “good guy” who has been playing by the rules and settling for less?
Have you said “This is bullshit – I deserve better”?
Then it’s time to learn things your dad never told you.
We will teach you how to be a courageous, confident and unapologetic man of action…without being an ass.
And then we will watch you boldly create the life, love and wealth you deserve…with a big grin on your face.
Meet Steve Horsmon and learn more about getting more.
How to Avoid Divorce With Masculine Leadership
What Is Being A Strong Man?
I Hate My Wife But I Still Love Her and Don’t Want to Divorce
FREE Live Tribe Brotherhood Group Calls
Unshakeable Confidence In Yourself…
A Powerful Vision of Your Future…
Calm, Peaceful, Decisive Action…
You can tell the difference between a good guy and a great man.
Both are kind men. They are sensitive, caring and deeply passionate men.
If you’re a good guy you are usually settling for good enough in your life and your relationships. You feel like you’re living below your full capability and it has been eating at you.
You may be overly focused on being liked and keeping everyone else happy. You might feel very little control in your current situation and in creating your long term happiness.
This keeps you slightly agitated, frustrated and uncertain.
The great man inside you lives his life with confident, clear-headed intention and he takes decisive action. You know what you want and you consciously push the edge of your comfort zone.
You feel like you have many options and you believe you are the master of your own destiny. You feel steady in your emotions and you aren’t attached to certain outcomes or what others think of you.
This keeps you mostly peaceful, happy and pleased with who you are.
Here’s the thing about these two men.
There is just one very small shift you must make to become a man who creates his own peace, happiness self-respect.
You must believe in yourself.
You must believe in your own masculine value and power to create your own circumstances.
You must believe that you deserve to create a vision of your life so powerful it makes you want to cry.
And you must believe that if you just take some very small steps, consistently, you WILL make your vision a reality.
This is not a “stretch goal” for you.
This is the life you are SUPPOSED to be living.
And I will teach you, step-by-step, how to reclaim your confidence, declare your vision and take positive action to make it a reality in a shockingly short time.
Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, the author of the bestselling book "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," and the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast.
People with social anxiety disorder (SAD) often have trouble feeling confident in interactions with others. However, you can boost your confidence by making sure that your body language conveys a positive message about yourself.
Boost Your Self-Esteem With Your Body Language
Even if you don’t feel confident, practicing confident body language can increase your self-esteem and make you feel better about yourself. Below are ten tips to increase your confidence through body language.
- Make eye contact. Appear confident by maintaining eye contact in social interactions. Good eye contact shows others that you are interested and comfortable. Look the other person in the eye about 60% of the time. If direct eye contact feels too intimidating, start by looking at a spot close to the person’s eyes.
- Lean forward. When you are in a conversation, leaning forward indicates interest and attention. While it can be tempting to maintain distance if you are socially anxious, doing so conveys the message that you are disinterested or aloof.
- Stand up straight. Don’t slouch! Those with social anxiety tend to try and take up as little space as possible, which can mean sitting slumped over in a protective pose. Straighten your back, pull your shoulders away from your ears, and uncross your arms and legs.
- Keep your chin up. Do you look at the ground when you are walking? Is your head always down? Instead, walk with your head up and your eyes looking forward. It might feel unnatural at first, but eventually, you will become used to this more confident pose.
- Don’t fidget. Fidgeting is an obvious sign of anxiety and nervousness. Appear more confident by keeping fidgeting to a minimum. Nervous movements draw attention away from what you are saying and make it hard for others to focus on your message.
- Avoid your pockets. Though it can be tempting to shove your hands in your pockets, particularly if you are worried about them shaking, doing so makes you look more anxious and less confident. Keep your hands out of your pockets to look more self-assured.
- Slow your movements. Fast movements make you appear more anxious. Everything from hand gestures to your walking stride can make a difference; slow down and notice how you feel more confident.
- Take larger steps. As you slow down, try to take longer strides when you walk. Confident people take larger steps and walk with authority. Doing so will make you feel less anxious.
- Watch your hands. Be careful about touching your face or your neck; both are indications that you feel anxious, nervous, or afraid. Confident people don’t make these types of movements.
- Give a firm handshake. How is your handshake? A weak or limp handshake is an obvious sign of a lack of confidence, so work on making sure that you offer a firm hand when meeting others. After practice, it will come naturally.
Still not sure you can muster up the confidence to change your body language? Remember that you don't have to feel confident to change your behavior. Although it might feel strange at first, acting in a confident way will eventually feel more natural and might even boost your self-esteem.
If you really need convincing, have a look at yourself on video; your nervous habits and posture can be easily changed once you identify them.
At the same time, working to reduce your anxiety through other means will also have a natural effect on reducing nervous behaviors. If you have not already been diagnosed with SAD, visit a healthcare professional to learn about your options.
Crippling anxiety that impairs your ability to engage with others is not something that you have to live with. Both cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication have been proven effective in the treatment of social anxiety disorder.
Confidence is a powerful attribute to have, and being confident alone can change someone’s life for the better. When it comes to relationships especially, it’s a known fact that women like confident men, but many men sadly struggle with this. But the good news is that there are a few things you can do if you want to feel more confident in your relationships.
Geez, relationships are hard.
You’d think they’d teach this stuff in school, but instead, I spent my time learning what neutrons get up to and what the French is for “commitment-phobe.”
The direction our relationships turn is the product of our intention and how unknowingly fucked-up we are, and nowhere is that more evident than when we’re trying to be all “I know what I’m doing here” when it’s our insecurities, doubts, and fears that are calling the shots.
The unknown, the uncertain and the uncomfortable hang out on every street corner in relationship-Ville, and the temptation is just to duck into the nearest bar where you can safely ignore them and flirt with the waitress until closing time.
So in the interest of shining a light on how insecurities, doubts, and fears drive even enlightened men to screw things up, here are five ways you can be more confident in your relationships.
Here Are 5 Surprising Ways Men Can Be More Confident in Relationships
1. You don’t need to fix everything.
Fixing things doesn’t make you a man. Nor does it make you a great boyfriend or husband.
It makes you the repair guy. Someone who does a job. Someone who has a clear role.
I hate to break it to you, but you’re not the Equalizer or Dr. Sam Beckett.
It’s not your job to go around trying to fix everything or put things right, and this can be more about trying to make up for your insecurity in the face of uncertainty than any good intentions. When your partner’s having a tough time at work, for example, it’s great that you want to help because you hate to see them stressed out, of course, it is, but there’s also the urge to fix it because that’s what you think you ought to do to get things back to how they were.
The safety and control offered by being the repair guy is just an illusion. You can’t control what time the sun comes up or how many toes your partner has, any more than you can control everything that happens in your relationship.
Confidence isn’t about control or certainty. It’s about letting go and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable.
2. Your role isn’t to provide.
That old male stereotype of being the provider still has a lot to answer for. Things have changed since the days when the wife stayed home and vacuumed while the man of the house went out and won all the bread, but those days aren’t quite dead. Not yet.
A lot of men are brought up with the expectation that they need to take the role of provider or they’re less of a man, an expectation that’s absorbed through the skin rather than any explicit teachings.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting the best for your partner, your home, and your life together and working hard to get to the good stuff, but you don’t have to conquer the mountain, kill the bear and bring it home for your cave wife to grill over the open fire.
You’re in this together. Confidence is about making choices that matter rather than playing roles, following unchallenged assumptions or people-pleasing.
3. There’s more to life than strength.
Shame and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown tells the story of one guy who came up to her after a book signing and told her how “convenient” it was that she hadn’t done any research on male vulnerability. When Brene asked him what he meant, he said, “Those books you just signed for my wife and my three daughters? They’d rather me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall down. When we reach out and be vulnerable we get the shit beat out of us. And don’t tell me it’s from the guys and the coaches and the dads, because the women in my life are harder on me than anyone else.”
The perceived need to be strong above all else is perhaps the most pernicious and damaging pressure facing men today.
When Gok Wan sashayed on to TV screens in 2006 telling a nation of historically demure Brits that, really, ‘It’s all about the confidence!’, chances are you weren’t paying much attention. How To Look Good Naked was, after all, not exactly aimed at young Millennial men.
But perhaps that was a mistake. Gok has a point with his signature catchphrase; confidence really can make you instantly more attractive – no expensive clothes or grooming products necessary. Read on to find out why (and, if you need a few tips on becoming more charismatic, we’ve got just what you need here).
You can handle any situation
Think about it. Knowing how to handle tense scenarios on the spur of the moment requires confidence and a belief that you’re strong enough to deal with whatever the world throws at you. Showing that you can conquer a problem with quick thinking also suggests intelligence and an ability to resolve difficult situations like a gentleman . Practical, real-world skills like these will always be attractive.
You’re a positive thinker
Studies have shown that confident people are, overall, also more positive people. One of the best ways to show your confidence is, of course, with a smile (but dish them out appropriately – you don’t want to come off as creepy). And since our daily lives continuously throw us negative qualms, showing positivity and optimism, even during the darkest of moments, is certainly an attractive quality. Remember, there are a lot more positive than negative things in life so keep that chin up.
You demonstrate strong team leadership
Having the ability to orchestrate a team with different personalities, ideas and strengths takes great confidence – but it’s also one of the key traits needed for success in life and business. If you’re stuck between bickering team members, have the confidence and initiative to take control, create order and get things back on track. Of course, no one likes a dictator, so having the charm and charisma to also get along with your team and smooth over difficult periods comes as part of the confidence package.
You build trust and friendships
People have a sense for suspicious individuals who, in general, don’t stand their ground or rarely offer their opinions. Confident people, on the other hand, tend to have close friends and plenty of acquaintances. Why? Because confident people tend to display the type of extrovert qualities that make them feel comfortable interacting with other people, sharing jokes and planning social events, making them generally more interesting to be with. If it doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t worry – practice makes perfect and, before you know it, you’ll be the life and soul of the party.
You’re comfortable in your own skin
We’re not suggesting you go overboard and become Mr Vain , but a true marker of confidence is being comfortable in your own skin. This isn’t about being the best looking man in the room – it’s about being happy with who you are as a person. Confident men stand upright and carry themselves in a way that suggests they are at ease in their surroundings; making plenty of eye contact and displaying welcoming body language. Whether it’s in an interview setting, a first date or meeting the family, your confidence will help those around you relax and make the entire occasion go more smoothly.
You’ll get job offers and promotions
Your boss hired you because, as well as your qualifications, you showed confidence at interview. Become too complacent, however, and the tables may turn, leaving the more genial guy next to you to snap up the promotion you thought was yours. If you’re serious about your career, and the social benefits that come with climbing the ladder, stop twiddling your thumbs, waiting for your boss to give you a gold sticker and start creating reasons why you should get that promotion . Hiding away in the office doing good, isn’t good enough.
Or, you’ll simply start your own company
Some of the world’s richest and most famous business owners really did start from nothing. But what did they have that many others didn’t? The confidence to abandon a life of working for someone else. They were optimists, with courage of their convictions, the leadership skills to build trust with peers and investors, and above all the guts and confidence to start their own business .
You strike the balance between confidence and arrogance
There’s a very fine line between confidence and arrogance and, while it may be hard to know when you’ve swayed either way, it’s important to find the balance. Confident men are more observant and considerate than arrogant men (who tend to walk over others, thinking they’re charming when, in fact, they’re just irritating). Confidence sits alongside elegance. You stand up for your views but you never impose them. You debate but you never argue. You have respect for other people.
When we talk about confidence, we often center those conversations around women – but what about men with low self-esteem?
Increasingly, our awareness of mental health issues is expanding to recognize that everybody can suffer from anxieties. These can be debilitating not just for the sufferer but also for the people close to them.
Let’s think about why men might suffer from a lack of confidence and how this impacts their everyday lives.
Reasons for Low Self-Esteem in Men
There is a multitude of reasons that guys might struggle with their confidence levels, and this insecurity can change over time.
One of the most prevalent issues is around toxic masculinity, and how many generations conform to stereotypes in their early years, and thus find it difficult to function as a well-grounded, emotionally aware man.
For example, male superiority can be exaggerated in sports or the workplace. Being a great team player and a sensitive listener are drowned out by the competition to be a bold leader and deal with problems without asking for help.
Other prominent reasons men can suffer from low self-esteem include:
- Body image issues and feeling pressure from social media and their peers to reflect an ‘ideal’ body.
- Past issues around abuse or mental illness that have not been resolved, and that have left someone unable to be kind to themselves.
- Patterns of behavior leave a man to feel inadequate, underperforming, or not ‘male’ enough.
In some cases, low self-esteem is simply a character trait – but make no mistake; this can be harmful in many ways and cause lasting damage to relationships.
6 Signs of Men with Low Self-Esteem
You can spot a guy who struggles with recognizing his self-worth in several ways.
This often comes out in personal relationships where it is easier to notice signs of hypercritical or exacting behavior.
Examples of signs that indicate men with low self-esteem include:
- An inability to cope with stress, criticism, or advice from others.
- Emotional insecurity and a constant need to be reassured.
- Needing external validation about their physical appearance.
- Seeming to be arrogant or being tactless when they succeed.
- Being jealous and possessive or needing to be the center of attention.
- Making self-deprecating remarks and finding it equally hard to accept praise.
These are signs that a man is struggling with confidence and deflects or tries to hide those emotions by masking his true feelings.
How Low Self-Esteem Can Impact Your Life
If a man lacks self-esteem and doesn’t seek help to process these feelings, it can cause many impacts, some more severe than others.
The most common things that these guys might struggle with are:
1. Workplace success
It will always be hard to get along with colleagues or feel comfortable in your work if you are continually playing a game of one-upmanship.
2. Forming lasting relationships
Men who aren’t happy in themselves rarely make positive partners. This can manifest as intense criticisms both of themselves and their partner, making cynical jibes and always needing to be in control.
3. Sharing decision making
When someone struggles with confidence, they often mask this by putting on a brave face – which often comes across as arrogance.
Imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can never ask for help or rely on anybody else to make a choice in case it exposes your lack of self-esteem. This can turn into obsessive control, which can cause problems in every area of your life.
4. Social anxiety
From being able to put on gym clothes and go for a workout, to being able to ask someone for directions if you are lost, a person with cripplingly low confidence levels may hold themselves back from any new experiences.
5. Needing continuous reassurance
It depends on where the self-esteem issue comes from. Still, a man who lacks it may seek continual and repetitive validation – from praising their looks to celebrating their successes, every small triumph becomes a big deal. This can create narcissistic tendencies and drive away friends.
6. Engaging in meaningful conversations
Those without self-confidence often find it extremely hard to communicate with others. This is often because they are hyper-analyzing everything and unable to listen and hear what somebody else has to say without contextualizing it, often incorrectly.
How to Cope with Self-Esteem Issues
We can see that having a lack of confidence can impact every area of your life – from relationships to career prospects. So what can you do if you, or someone you care about, may have self-esteem issues?
The first step is to work on acknowledging the issue. It is impossible to have people walk on eggshells around you forever, so working on strategies to manage the way you value and talk to yourself is essential.
Sometimes, the best place to work through this process is to seek professional counseling or start with a trusted friend or family member who will be able to discuss your feelings with you in a safe environment.
Remember that everybody, including men with low self-esteem, needs help from time to time, and asking for it is a sign of strength.
It is never a good idea to try and go it alone when something is causing you anxiety and problems, nor is there a quick-fix remedy to restore your self-esteem to healthy levels, so take it one step at a time and always, always, be kind to yourself.