Last year, after agonizing for weeks and emerging with zip ideas about a Halloween costume, my 13-year-old son was suddenly struck by inspiration. “A flasher. That’s what I’ll be, a flasher.”
“Clever,” thought a nonplussed mom.
“Never,” she heard a voice declaring. The voice was her own.
“Never,” she repeated, prepared to become a parrot until this curious idea was exorcised from her son’s head.
How did that sweetly curled head, one golden lock of which was sequestered in a memory album, suddenly become acquainted with the concept “flasher,” let alone be willing to become one for a day?
He had turned 13, that’s how. He had turned 13 in a year when questioning of heretofore unchallenged concepts was at its zenith. “It depends on what the word is,” said his president, presenting all adolescents with a philosophical conundrum. Hmmm, what is . . .
“What is your problem, Mom?” asked my son. “It’s a concept. I’ll just be dressed like it. It’s not like I’ll actually be doing it.”
In addition to a teen’s natural propensity for obfuscation, he had witnessed two years of cultural retrenchment, of daily shifting moral sands. Whatever fresh revelation the day chucked up, one stretched according to one’s moral elasticity. “No boxers, no trench coat.”
It was time for Mom to bail. Dad stepped in. He explained that we do not want to mock something which is essentially, well, essentially an illness. The efficiency with which this argument deflected any further objection gave me faith that some moral fiber had sprouted in my son. Empathy had stared cynicism in the face and vanquished it. Momentarily, at least.
It could not have been easy. For the cynicism of the times also coincided with Gabe’s two-year gift subscription to MAD Magazine. In addition, he was undergoing a massive hormonal surge, which was transforming him from a thing of sweet blond innocence to an avid Howard Stern fan. (Admittedly, our own Monty Python view of the world might not have gone undetected.)
So it was quite a feat of self-discipline, of accession to parental authority that Gabe was now willing to forego his vision of a teen Halloween. His inspiration, however, had been too good not to share with a friend.
“A flasher?” asked Ben.
“A flasher,” replied Gabe.
Ben, unable to resist a good thing, asked permission to borrow the concept. Gabe agreed. By Sunday night, Ben had disposed of his rock star paraphernalia and hoisted . . . well, a single southward-dangling appendage, fabricated from stockings and foam.
On Halloween night, Ben and his Gang of Eight, posed for a panoramic shot before they shot out into the darkness.
I wasn’t there to witness the rest, but this is how Gabe relates it. Trick-or-treating on a block, which could have won the Good Housekeeping seal for consistent community effort, speckled with scaly Stegosauruses and Harry Potter wannabes, Ben and his Gang hit the scene. (By the way, compared to Ben the other eight were innocents: black-smudged draculas and painted witches.)
A circumspect Ben kept his coat buttoned amid the sea of teetering tots. It was only to the unwary homeowner or apartment-dweller, opening his door with a broad-beamed smile, that Ben was prepared to reveal his hidden treasure.
I am 22. The older I get, the younger 18 year old girls are starting to look.
I was testing at my local community college and there were a lot of them there. Their birth year is 1998 according to the sign in roster.
But I find their youth, innocence, and naiveness attractive. I like to work my way to them and exploit that innocence.
Most Helpful Girls
These girls are like fresh out of high school (just grauduated) and still have that immature mindset and I think that is hot
Yes and that’s not a good thing.
You’re not much older than 18, so it’s okay now.
When you’re 25-30+ still aiming for 18 year old girls then I’d find you creepy.
However, I notice that you imply 18 year olds are naive and innocent.
Have you seen the teens of today?
Most are far from it.
What I mean is that they look so much more immature and innocent compared to women my age (early 21+)
Yeah, they probably do.
But “looks can be deceiving”.