How to stay happy

How to stay happy

Life is meant to be happily experienced. Oftentimes we feel we don’t deserve to have a good life or be happy. However, happiness is a choice. It’s not something that happens to you, nor something that you can influence or decide.

One of the best tips for being happy lies in recognizing that your thoughts and actions can greatly influence your mood and outlook on life. Keep reading to discover five tips for being happy!

1. Enjoyment

Find enjoyment wherever you go, whether the circumstances are negative or positive. Create your own enjoyment. Start and finish by pleasing yourself. Be the most agile receptor for every delicacy that life has to offer you.

2. Play

Think about the school recess yard, where the sound of laughter and singing can be heard. Look for happiness with others, invite them to participate in your games. Offer friendly compliments and let your kids get dirty in the mud!

3. Forget the drama

Don’t make a big drama out of everything that happens to you. Stop paying attention to everything that’s bad. Stop giving so much to others. Instead, give to yourself.

Before anything else, meet your own needs. While doing this, stop reading all the news since they have nothing to do with you. There’s nothing else that can help you with drama other than just stopping it. Drama is based on the fear of not being happy.

4. Find peace: One of the tips for being happy

5. Accept yourself as you are

Accepting yourself is the primary key for being happy. When you truly understand that your flaws are a gift, being happy will be much easier. Self-acceptance leads to a happiness that a lot of people never experience.

Accepting yourself just as you are is also a crucial step for loving others because if you can’t even love yourself, it will be impossible for you to love others.

How to stay happy

There are some tips that can help you lift your mood effectively. Putting them into practice will help you more than you might think at first. Read.

How to stay happy

While most people would argue having a life you love will make you happy, I would argue that happiness will help you to create a life you love.

Emotions create reality.

Be happy = manifest more in your world to be happy about. Be unhappy = manifest more in your world to be unhappy about. Easy peasy.

What? Not so easy?

No, I guess it isn’t. If it were, then more people would actually be happy, wouldn’t they?

Yes, staying happy is a constant effort. Notice I didn’t say it’s a struggle… it’s not. But we do have to stay conscious about it and continue to do what it takes to “keep the happy”. And what does it take?

Well, I suppose this might be a little different for everyone, but I have 10 suggestions, most of which on their own do shift people into happy—but combined together they are kick-ass vibe lifters!

I challenge anyone to stay unhappy if they earnestly apply these suggestions:

1. Set an intention

Intentions are the cornerstones to creating your reality folks. And every part of your life deserves at least one! Here is mine for my well-being emotionally:

I intend to live in the now and feel greater and greater depths of love, fun, joy, happiness, ecstasy, compassion and caring for myself and others; to have fun continuously, and to open (more every day) to my creativity, psychic abilities and passion.

2. Hold it in your image

When you think of yourself, do you think of an ecstatically happy person? No? Well lets change that shall we?

Your self concept keeps you locked into a reality that will support your self concept. Change your vision of yourself, and you will change your reality.

Affirmation: I am happy and becoming happier each and every day!

3. Look for reasons to be happy

It doesn’t take much of this to shift from self-pity (or any other constrictive state) to happy. Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the most amazing ways to stay happy and exuding a flow of good things coming to you.

The caveat: you must do this in earnest. Writing a laundry list that you don’t feel real love and appreciation towards is an exercise in futility. It only counts if you’re actually feeling the gratitude.

4. Empower yourself

It’s hard to feel happy if you feel powerless and hopeless. And some people have good reason to feel this way, and perhaps happiness eludes them. You’re not one of them.

If you are reading this blog you are ready to accept your divinity, your power and your ability to create your own reality. But it doesn’t happen overnight and it doesn’t happen just by saying it.

If you have beliefs that deny who you are, that downplay your power, that imply you don’t deserve a phenomenal and exciting life you absolutely adore, then change them.

If you are serious about being ecstatically happy and creating a life you love, your growth should be a priority. It is possible. Commit.

5. Slow, slow, slow down

One of the biggest happiness stealers is multi-tasking.

What? You couldn’t live without multi-tasking? Ok, fine. But you will have to give up ‘multi-thinking’ if you are serious about happiness.

Most of us are so focused on what is left to do, we stop paying attention to what it is we are doing. And it stops being enjoyable. And there goes our happy.

Give yourself 5 minutes a day, or 5 minutes 3 times a day, to make a list of what needs to be accomplished that day. That’s it. The rest of the time, slow down and be present.

Really feel the sun on your face as you walk to the car. Really pay attention to that store clerk who bags your groceries. Send ‘em a little love. Really focus on that email and only that email, not the 72 unread in your inbox.

This is a magical fix folks. Try it. You’ll like it.

6. Honor your needs and what feeds your soul

We all have things that nurture us, that feed our soul and rejuvenate us. Some of these things are actual needs.

I have a need for solitude. If I don’t get solitude at least once a week if not each day, I am not a happy camper. Life gets hard and I get cranky. For me, solitude is a need.

For my husband, physical exercise is a need. When he is able to swim, bike, play tennis or ski, everything else he does gets easier. For him, exercise is a need.

What are your needs? Are you giving yourself permission to fill them?

And what feeds your Soul? Things that feed your Soul aren’t needs, they are preferences that offer great benefit. They are the things that you love that make you more.

Being in nature may feed your Soul. Beauty may feed your Soul. Music may do this for some. Hobbies do this for others.

Giving yourself the permission and time to do the things that nurture you is a key to staying happy.

7. Take good care of you

Your body has needs, which if not heeded, can have debilitating effects on your physical and emotional bodies. Good clean diet, exercise to fit your temperament, and relaxation activities to reduce stress should all be part of your normal way of life.

If they aren’t, please add them. A body undernourished, filled with toxins, and stressed out is not going to add to your happiness or your ability to consciously create your world.

If you don’t believe you can add these things to your life, for either financial reasons or time constraints, change those beliefs! Your life is your creation.

8. Use mood altering substances

Ah, now don’t get excited, that’s not what I’m talking about.

I am talking about amazing mood altering, nature given flower essences and aromatherapy.

I have worked with Bach Flower Remedies for years. And they are phenomenally effective (actually miraculous) in lifting your emotional well-being to higher states.

Aromatherapy is another great way to change your mood. Simple and effective, aromatherapy is in widespread use by medical professionals in Europe and although it hasn’t caught on as well in the USit is readily available.

There are lots of good aromatherapy books out there, but make sure you only buy 100% pure essential oils.

9. Get professional help (if you need it)

We all need a little help sometimes. And that goes for mentally and emotionally too.

If you are dealing with intense grief, depression, anxiety or other debilitating emotional states, find someone to help you through this until you can manage getting to the happy place by yourself.

10. Ask for help (need it or not)

Finally, don’t forget to call on your unseen friends. Although this is listed last, it is actually the first thing I do when I find myself in a state less than total joy!

How do you ask for help? Just say something like (in your head), “Hey Higher Self, Soul, counselors, and the rest of my team, I intend to feel happy, and I’m not there right now… please help me to get there?”

That’s it. They are always there… always listening, and if you allow them, will always help.

Good luck staying happy folks… I know it’s possible, and I know you deserve it.

This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.

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Happiness can seem really hard to find, especially given the uncertainty in our world right now. It takes a lot of courage to take the first step forward to find this seemingly elusive feeling, but there’s nothing to fear! The key to staying happy often lies in your thoughts, decisions, and daily habits. [1] X Expert Source

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
Life Coach Expert Interview. 18 March 2020. While it may take a leap of faith, you can trust in the fact that happiness is much easier to find and maintain than you think.

How to stay happy

Happiness is a choice; you can choose to be sad when everything is going well for you and you can choose to be happy even when nothing seems right. To be happy at all times, you need to make happiness a habit and not just an act. I believe that the following points will show you how to stay happy no matter what happens

Be Grateful

Gratitude is a sign of appreciation and you ought to show appreciation for life. Always wake up every morning in acknowledgement that someone died the previous night but you didn’t, someone did not wake up but you did. Let me give you a little exercise, next time you feel as if everything is working against you and there is nothing to be thankful for, pick up a pen and a piece of paper and make a list of things you should be thankful for, for example, I woke up this morning, I have food on my table, I have clothes to wear, I have a good paying job even though my boss is a jerk, the skies are beautiful and the atmosphere is great. By the time you finish this little exercise, I can assure you that you will feel better already.

Exercise regularly

Unhappiness can result from stressing our bodies and minds. Scientists believe that 20 minutes of exercise can make you happy regardless of how sad you may be. Exercise raises your heart rate and triggers a surge of hormonal changes. As your heart begins to pound, certain hormones are released which create a sense of total well being and you begin to feel well again, the mind stress is gone and everything is under control. Another thing you can do is take a walk, this works for me all the time. When you take a walk, you are able to think over matters that are bothering you and come up with solutions to them.

Make somebody happy

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain

When you sow happiness, you reap happiness. Mother Teresa knew this secret so well; she devoted her life to helping others even if it simply meant putting a smile on someone’s face. Here is a sum of two of her famous quotes: “A life not lived for others is not a life; let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.”

Be optimistic

Change is inevitable and no situation is permanent. Whenever you are feeling sad or depressed, always remember that it’s temporary and that tomorrow will be better, tough times don’t last but tough people do. Develop a positive attitude, be optimistic.

Act as if you are happy

Smile always, even when you are feeling blue. When the body acts, emotions follow. A smile costs nothing but it creates much, it enriches those who receive it without impoverishing those who give. Learn to smile at all times, it won’t only make you happy, it will also win you happy friends.

Stay Close to Friends

I was feeling very sad and depressed at work one Friday morning, I didn’t know what to do so I approached a friend and we got to talking, I shared my burden with her and we had a brief talk. By the time I finished pouring out my heart to her, I already knew why I was not happy and what I had to do as well. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with friends, it works.

How do you stay happy no matter what happens? Share your experiences with us and your opinion on any of the above points.

If you have recently broken up with your significant other or if you’ve been single for a while, you might think you will never be happy again. Being single can leave you feeling that you are lost or destined to be miserable for the rest of your life. While you may be wonder how to be happy single, it doesn’t have to be impossible. Learning to be happy even when you aren’t in a relationship will not only allow you to love yourself more, but will allow you to love your single status more. Read on to learn how.

How to stay happy

How to Be Happy Single

1. Practice gratitude

Take the time each day to be thankful for all that you have. While you may have ended a relationship with someone you care deeply about, that doesn’t mean you have lost all the good things in your life. Practicing a routine of gratitude will not only help you heal from the breakup, but is highly beneficial for your health as well. You will feel less stress, less anxiety and find ways to enjoy every moment of your life, which helps you feel like you are living a more fulfilling life.

2. Focus on yourself

How to stay happyWe all have our “flaws” and many people will deny they even have some. Knowing there are things about yourself that you would like to improve upon will in the future attract your perfect partner. Learn more about the things that make you and if there are things you might not be so happy about that you see in yourself, you now have something to work towards. Focusing on yourself after a break up is important because it allows you to heal, move on and become a better person.

3. Do things alone

You might be hating the idea that you have to do things alone, but this can be a time you find things you really enjoy. Most people avoid doing things alone because it scares them or they don’t want to feel as if they are being judged by others. When you learn to do things on your own, you learn how to be happy single. You’ll enjoy your own company more which means you will feel less of a need to have someone with you all the time to really enjoy your life. Go out to eat, see a movie, or just walk along the beach alone. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but you will feel relieved after.

4. Focus on your other relationships

How to stay happyThere’s a good chance you may have neglected your other relationship when you were in a romantic relationship, so now is the best time to reconnect and strengthen those relationships. Spend some extra time with your family or make it a point to get in some more friend time with your bestie. Not only will this make you feel less alone but the people you care about most, like your friends and family, are the ones who will give you the support and encouragement needed when you’re single.

5. Exercise

Everyone should be exercising on a regular basis because it is good for your health, but it is the one thing most people neglect especially when they are single. When you are in a relationship, you might have more motivation to exercise because you want to look your best for your partner; but when you break up, you lose that motivation. Exercising will help you feel good about yourself because of the feel-good hormones released when you exercise. Make running, swimming or taking a class at the local gym a part of your daily routine and you will forget about your single status and just feel good about yourself.

6. Meet new people

How to stay happyHow to be happy single doesn’t mean you can’t put yourself out there. While you don’t have to immediately start looking for a new relationship, you also don’t want to keep yourself isolated in your apartment for too long. Get out and meet new people without the intention of dating. You might be surprised by how many like-minded people you can find and who can become lifelong friends.

7. Ask yourself what you want

Being single is the perfect time to look at your life with new perspective. Ask yourself what you really want in a partner. When you take the time to really define what you want from a relationship, it will lead you to find someone who is more compatible to you and you’ll waste less time dating someone you know you don’t want to get serious with. Aside from what you want from a partner, you should be clear about what you want out of your life in general. Do you want to focus on a career? Traveling? Pursuing an education? Being single opens up a new opportunity for you to set life goals for yourself.

8. Try something new

How to stay happyEver wanted to take a dance class? Try your hand at pottery? Learn to bake? Find something new to try to occupy your time. Not only will this help you learn more about yourself, but you will be so focused on learning something new that you will forget that you’re doing it while being single.

9. Don’t compare your single status with others

If you are newly single or have been single for a while, you are going to have to face the fact that you might be the third wheel sometimes and that your friends and family will constantly ask if you are seeing someone. You have to learn how to handle these comments and situation without feeling like there is something wrong with you. How to be happy single? It requires you defining your own status and that you don’t care what others think of it.

10. Pamper yourself

How to stay happyGet your nails done, cut and dye your hair and spend a little on a new pair of shoes. Whatever it is, allow yourself to indulge a little on just yourself. You don’t want to overspend on things but do pamper yourself so you can feel more confident. Spend your time focusing on meeting your own needs instead of someone else’s.

11. Travel

Plan a weekend getaway with your best friends or just a quick trip to the beach. Better yet, plan a trip by yourself. Take the time to travel when you aren’t in a relationship and it won’t cost you as much. Plus, planning a trip that fits around your schedule is much easier to do when you don’t have to plan it around someone else’s as well.

12. You are all you need

How to stay happyYou don’t need someone else to make you happy. You are a fully functional human being who is not dependent on someone else. You make your own schedule and do what you want. Remember that! There are many perks to being single and one of the main ones is knowing you will survive just fine without being in a relationship.

Most people have no control over their emotional well-being. They feel ecstatic when good stuff happens and depressed when things go wrong. Their lives are roller coaster rides: sometimes up, sometimes way down.

But what if you could be happy no matter what happens?

You’d stay calm when your car breaks down and your boss shouts at you. You’d stop feeling lonely when there’s no one to talk to on a rainy day. You’d never lose sleep over a relationship that isn’t working out.

If being in command of your emotional state sounds good, take charge of your life with these 5 easy tips.

1. Stop Chasing and Start Living

Many people feel they need something – more money, new clothes, better relationships – to make them happy. They think: “If only I had that other thing, I would be complete”. Instead of enjoying life, they chase a vague idea of happiness.

But even when you get everything that’s supposed to make you happy, life will have ups and downs. Today your car breaks down; tomorrow you pull your calf muscle. If you look hard enough, you’ll always find reasons to be miserable.

So stop chasing; start living. Wanting more is fine, but don’t forget to relax and enjoy life for what it is – in the present.

2. Assume Responsibility

We often blame other people, circumstances and even objects for our problems. “I’m this way because my dad didn’t love me enough”; “I hate my stupid car for breaking down all the time.”

But life is full of different people and situations: some are good and some are bad. Unless you assume responsibility for your life, you’ll always be at the mercy of those circumstances.

Instead of blaming others for what’s wrong in your life, focus on what you can do to make things better. Never sulk and try not to feel sorry for yourself too often. It’s your responsibility to make yourself happy: nobody else’s.

3. Stop Seeking Stimulation

We live in a world of endless stimulation. Between movies, video games and the internet, something exciting’s always going on. Sometimes, this makes us feel bored and restless when we run out of stuff to do.

If you want to be happy, overcome this addiction. Develop the ability to enjoy life in its entirety – even when the stimulation stops.

Appreciate the sky you see on your way to work each day. Cherish each moment you spend with the people you love. Savor every bite of food you get to eat. Enjoying every experience will give you many new reasons to be happy.

4. Take Action

Taking action is the logical consequence of assuming responsibility for your life (Point #2).

When you want to lose weight – start jogging. Someone’s being rude to you? Tell them to stop. If you’re unhappy with your job, start looking for a new one. Get behind the steering wheel of your own life!

This site has plenty of advice that will help you take action the smart way. Educate yourself and commit to find happiness no matter what it takes. With enough hard work and dedication, you really can create the life you want.

5. Expect Nothing

We expect others to treat us better than we treat them. We work out a few times and stress because we don’t instantly look like models. We want to live like rockstars, ignoring the fact that only a few people reach that level of success.

In short, we tend to have unreasonable expectations. The difference between what we feel entitled to and what we actually get is the source of much misery.

Accept life in its entirety; stop thinking in terms of what should be and accept what is. When you live without entitlement, every good thing becomes a wonderful surprise. Even better, expecting nothing means never being disappointed.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, bad things will happen to you. You will have highs, lows and lots of mediums in your life. You’re only human, just like everybody else.

But follow the 5 tips in this post and you’ll be well on your way to staying happy – no matter what happens.

With disruptions to work and school, social distancing rules, and conflicting advice on all sides, many of us are feeling confused, anxious, and overwhelmed.

But I live with a happiness expert (yes, that’s a thing) which means I have a pile of science-backed tactics to help you navigate these strange and difficult times. Here’s our best-of list of tips (BONUS: they apply to any difficult time!):

First, take care of your physical health. Being exhausted and rundown makes you more susceptible to illness and less able to fight off infection. And these physical health tips also have scientifically-proven benefits for your mental health, to help you endure (or even thrive) these wild times. So take care of the basics:

Practice good sleep hygiene. Set a bedtime and stick to it. Turn off screens 30 minutes before you go to bed. Remove your phone from the room.

Get exercise. Go on long walks or runs. If you’re stuck inside, try free online yoga classes or the seven-minute workout (particularly easy and fun to do with kids).

Eat healthily. Sitting around at home turns many of us into snack monsters. Take advantage of extra time at home to cook healthy meals (bonus points for making extra and sharing with an isolated friend or neighbor). Cooking is also great for kids if you’re looking for ways to fill the (endless!) hours out of school. Have them plan meals. Teach them basic cutting, chopping, boiling, and frying techniques.

Sometimes, life gets in the way of these healthy habits. When that happens, don’t catastrophize (“I’ll never sleep again!”). Acknowledge the situation, let it go, and get back to your habit as soon as possible.

Taking care of your mental health is just as important. Here are some things to think about:

Stay connected to other people. We humans have a deep need for social connection (yes, even those introverts who are quietly celebrating that they have an excuse to stay home for the next three weeks!). Everyone should avoid crowded places, but that doesn’t mean you need to cut yourself off from all people. Invite your neighbor for a cup of coffee or “quarantini” on the opposite side of your front stoop. Have a long Facetime or Skype chat with someone who is isolated.

Reframe the situation. Try to see this time as a gift. Many of us regularly say, “I wish I had more time to _____.” Maybe now is your chance. Having a sense of purpose is a core tenet of happiness; set aside time each day to feel like you accomplished something. With extra time at home, tackle projects you never get to; my teens will be using part of their “bonus vacation” to repaint our living room, weed and prune the backyard, and shovel out their closets. Learn to knit or speak another language. Take up an instrument or new hobby. Read the books or watch the movies on your “someday” list. Hopefully, we’ll never have a chance like this again, so see if you can enjoy (parts of) it.

Establish a routine. Most of us dream of vacation days with no schedules, but schedules are actually good for mental health (particularly for kids and teens). Give yourself a few days to loll around but then establish a routine. Stick to a bedtime and wake time. Eat at normal times. Exercise, shower and get out of your pajamas every day, even if you aren’t leaving the house.

Help others. Most of us think of good deeds as a benefit for the receiver, but research proves that the giver benefits just as much. Doing something nice for someone else gives us a happiness burst that can re-energize and re-direct our minds, even when we feel overwhelmed or hopeless. Set a goal to do one nice thing for someone else each day. Some ideas: Deliver a meal or two to someone self-quarantined, offer to pick things up for neighbors if you go to the store, schedule a call or Skype with an older relative or friend, text or call someone you suspect is struggling.

Limit your media consumption. It’s anxiety-producing out there with experts providing conflicting advice, graphs and tables of infection rates, and friends posting apocalyptic statements. All of this drama triggers your amygdala, the “lizard” part of your brain focused on survival. Staying in a constant state of fight-flight-or-freeze is deeply unhealthy. Although the 24-hour news cycle would like us to believe otherwise, you really only need to check the news once a day to know what’s going on. Pick a time you will check on the outside world and then spend the rest of your day on activities that help you stay healthy.

Be okay with feeling scared, sad, or anxious. Most of us don’t like feeling negative emotions, so we work to escape those emotions immediately, often through unhealthy methods like eating, shopping, drugs or alcohol, or not-always-healthy methods like binge-watching Netflix. Know that feeling frightened, overwhelmed, or anxious is a healthy, normal reaction in times like these. When you get a wave of these emotions, let it in. Start by simply acknowledging, “I’m feeling ____ right now.” Be mindful for a few minutes where you feel it in your body. Giving the emotion some space to grow or change can help you get more comfortable with it and allows you to decide whether or how to respond in a healthy way. Mindfulness, meditation and prayer practices have all been shown to help manage the negative emotions that are a natural part of being human; and now we all have time to learn and practice them (hooray?).

Get help when you need it. If you are stuck in a negative thought cycle or experiencing significant mental distress, get help. Reach out to a friend or find a professional. Your health insurance (if you have it) likely covers mental health and many employers also offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) that can provide short-term counseling and help find a longer-term solution.

The uncertainty of how long these social distancing and quarantine rules will last — as well as anxiety about their long-term effects on our lives personally, nationally, and internationally — can make this time seem overwhelming. But investing in your physical and mental health improves our chances of coming out the other end happy and healthy. And maybe with a re-painted living room and a new hobby.

How to stay happy

In my past, I suffered from debilitating depression. There was a period when getting the dry-cleaning and buying toilet paper was difficult enough.

So, I made it my mission to study what happy people do to stay happy, then I started doing what they were doing. And my happiness increased until I became one of those people I used to be envious of.

Here’s a list I use now on a daily basis as a reminder to increase my happiness:

1. Give yourself permission.

Permission to be who you are; permission to laugh big, to cry when you need to, to fail brilliantly, to make stuff; permission to fall apart, breakdown, and get back up again; permission to be different and unique; permission to go too far and reach your dreams.

2. Don’t take yourself so seriously.

Hold yourself with a “light hand.” Laugh at your foibles with amusement.

When things get tough or stress arises, lift your shoulders with an “oh well…” Know that it’s never as big or life devastating as your mind thinks.

Happy people trust that whatever glitch happens will work itself out.

They give a “Ha! Ha!” and a “So what? Who cares? Big Deal! Why not?” when met with resistances.

3. Don’t self-ruminate.

I remember a friend of mine from Mississippi saying, “Lynn, when are you gonna’ stop starin’ at your own belly button…?” (Insert: Southern drawl.)

I learned happy people don’t fixate on themselves and their problems. They don’t over-analyze the issue du jour.

When they start to get stuck on a problem or in their head, they put their attention on something else.

I remind myself to not have to have it all figured out: Get outside. Go back to your work. Plan something fun.

4. Don’t compare.

Comparison has been compared to a little death. When we compare ourselves to others, we harm ourselves.

Happy people know that they’re no better or less than another person. Someone will always be at a “more evolved place” and someone will always be “less-evolved.”

Note to self: Be concerned with only how to do your best and that’s all.

5. Make adjustments.

When something isn’t going your way, when your mood dips, or when you feel “off,” stay curious and self-aware. Fine-tune the energy in your body by making adjustments.

If you eat something that makes you feel poor, why eat it? Pay attention if that glass of wine the night before makes you feel crappy in the morning or that slice of pizza made you bloated or that ice cream caused you to crash, losing your focus and energy.

When you’re feeling stuck or heavy, take a walk, do something different than your normal routine, meet up with a friend.

If feeling anxious or stressed, tune-up with extra sleep, meditation/yoga or a hot bath…

6. Be of service and know how to take care of yourself.

Happy people want to give back. They have plenty to share. They volunteer, take time out to help a friend, offer to connect people to others for their betterment, and aren’t in need of getting anything back.

Commit to service but also stay aware of how to take care of yourself. When your energy gets depleted, remember to not give away to the point that you lose focus on your own emotional/mental/physical/spiritual health.

Have loving boundaries to care for yourself so that you have more to give.

7. Choose uplifting friendships.

When we have friendships and conversations that are uplifting, supportive, and loving, with people interested in our betterment, we are on a faster track to our own enlightenment.

If you hang out with someone and don’t feel great afterward, see less of that person and seek out other friendships.

Know which friends increase your happiness and nurture those relationships.

8. Be less interested in being happy and more interested in your peace of mind.

I used to think happiness was about being totally ecstatic. In order to balance out my feelings of hopelessness and depression, it seemed natural that my goal would be to be maximally blissed.

But with all the highs there’s a low—we eventually come down from it.

Remember not to get attached to the highs and focus more on experiencing peaceful aliveness.

When your life is at peace, there’s a relaxed balance; and the chances of sustained happiness and contentment increases.

9. Use your senses.

As they say, the ordinary is extraordinary.

Happy people receive pleasure from enjoying the simple joys in life, and usually they’re connected to our senses. This subtle awareness creates significant moments of happiness.

I discovered the pleasures I receive in the:

  • Warmth of a teacup in my hands on a cold winter day
  • Taste of a square of dark chocolate melting on my tongue
  • Dance music in my cycle class that wakes me up
  • Smile of a stranger on the street
  • Aroma of my favorite essential oil and when people say, “You smell so good!”

Continue to mark pleasant sense experiences in your mind and carry them throughout your day to increase your spirits.

10. Don’t make your intimate relationships the end-all-be-all.

I used to think the person I was in a relationship with was there to give me my happiness rather than increase it.

Happy people understand that those they are in relationship with are an “addition to,” not a completion of them. They live full lives so that at the end of the day they have so much more to share.

A loving reminder: Don’t rely on your partner to shift your moods, heal you, or fill your empty spaces. And remember it’s not your responsibility to do that for your partner either.

Support is an important part of relationship. We’re there on the bad days with compassion and a loving embrace. We’re there on the good days to cheer them on.

But mostly, we rely on ourselves to give that to ourselves. We trust that our partners can wrestle with their own demons. We offer space for them to discover their own happiness, while we focus on creating our own.

What might you put your focus on to continue to increase your own happiness?