So, there’s this girl. You like her a lot, right? And you think there’s a pretty good chance that she likes you. You decide that it might be time to move things to the next level.
The next level, of course, is talking to her on the phone.
This can be an extremely daunting prospect. How many times do you dial the number, only to hang up at the last minute? How many steps have you taken while pacing around the room before the call even goes through? And what if your mind just goes blank when she picks up?
You have to gear yourself up for the experience, no question — but the trick is not to psych yourself out in the process. Remember, lots of people have done this before, and you’ll get through it. And to help you out, here are five tips to make the experience better for everybody involved.
Before you even pick up the phone, it’s probably a good idea to have some idea of what you want to talk about. Don’t make it too detailed or write out a script of everything you should say; that’ll just make you sound awkward. And what if she changes the subject? Then you’re scrambling for your lines and everybody’s confused.
But having a goal for the conversation is good. It can be a little goal, like talking about the chemistry lab write-up you both have due next week. Or it can be a big goal, like asking her to the homecoming dance. Just make sure you limit it to a couple of mental bullet points so you don’t forget why you called halfway through the conversation.
2: Remember, She Can't See You
Unless you’re Skyping instead of talking on the phone, she has no clue what you look like or what you’re doing on the other end of the line. It doesn’t matter if you’re sweating bullets, pacing every square inch of your room, or squeezing the life out of a stress ball. You could be wearing your rattiest sweatpants, the ones that are a single wash cycle away from falling apart, and it doesn’t matter. She won’t know. In fact, there’s an excellent chance that she’ll be nervous, too. Just try to keep your voice relaxed and friendly, and take out your jitters elsewhere.
3: Ask Questions
One great way to let a girl know you’re interested in her is to act like it (genuinely, of course). Ask her questions about her day, her family, her pet hamster, whatever. The point is, you’re asking her things that will help you get to know her better. Asking questions is extra helpful when the girl is a bit shy. That way, she can just respond to the conversation without having to lead it, since she might be nervous and unsure of what to say.
Remember, if you’re just getting to know each other, don’t make the questions too personal. Keep it friendly. The ice will be broken before you know it.
Yes, it’s a cliché. It’s also true. There are always moments when you feel like being somebody else might get you what you want, but in the long run, it’ll only come back to bite you. Don’t act like you’re into something you’re not, just because she is. Telling her that you totally love doing pottery, too, is only going to get awkward when she wants to talk about which glaze you like best. It’s fine if you don’t love everything she does. Go back to the third tip and ask her questions about it; find out why exactly she digs pottery.
Plus, you’ll be a lot more interesting to her when you talk about something you really are into. It doesn’t matter what you like to do, as long as you’re passionate about it. That’s the stuff that makes you who you are. That’s the person she’ll want to get to know.
All right, so you’re winding up the call. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. But you need an exit strategy, and also a way to maintain the momentum you’ve built throughout the conversation. If your goal for the call didn’t include asking her out, then you both might end up feeling unsure of where things stand once you hang up.
So, make a plan. It doesn’t have to be huge. Tell her you’d like to call her again tomorrow night, or maybe bring up the football game this weekend. Is she going? You can meet up at halftime for a cup of hot chocolate. It can even be as simple as saying, "So, hey, I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow. Talk to you then?"
Then, you say your good-byes, hang up the phone and realize that it’s over. You made it, dude. You just talked to a girl on the phone and lived to tell the tale. Doesn’t that feel awesome?
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So you have been “talking” for a while online and have decided it’s time to talk on the phone.
This is an important step. While there is a general feeling of intimacy when you are messaging online, a phone call starts to take it one step further into the real world. This is where you really start to get to know someone. Intonation can reveal much about meaning and emotion that is missing in online communication. When you are ready to talk, these 7 tips will help you get through your first phone call with her easily.
1. Set a time
This may seem like a no-brainer but setting a definite time is something most men forget to do. Don’t say “let’s talk tonight,” be specific. Set a definite time and then be sure that if you are going to be more than 5 minutes late with the call that you message her.
- Don’t call more than 5 minutes early.
- Message if you will be more than 5 minutes late.
- If something comes up, immediately reschedule the call.
2. Make sure you are in the right place
Talking on your cell phone while in your car seems like a good idea, just don’t do it. You really want to treat your first phone call with her like it is the first date. Make sure you are comfortable, relaxed, but in a place and mood where you can be attentive and focused on her and the conversation.
3. Limit the call to 45 minutes
As tempting as it may be to go on and on if you really click on the phone, limit the call to 45 minutes. Both of you will need time to sit with your conversation. If you really enjoyed talking, don’t try to talk the night away but keep it short so you can talk again and know you will have plenty to say.
4. Know when to get off
This is one of the hardest of the 7 tips to help you get through your first phone call with her easily to learn – and that is knowing when to get off the phone. There is a difference between a comfortable silence, and a lack of things to say. This isn’t a bad thing; conversations get easier as you get to know each other. If she sounds distracted (or if you get distracted), end the phone call graciously and say that you have to go but have enjoyed talking to her.
5. Follow up with an email
Before the evening is over, make sure you send an email acknowledging the call. Be brief, but just say you enjoyed it and will talk again soon. Even if you said goodnight on the phone, follow up with the email.
6. Limit your distractions
This goes along with picking the right place to be when you are on the phone, but you should also limit your distractions as well. While it may seem like a good idea to use a hands-free or speakerphone so you can do things while talking, this is going to take your attention of the phone call and she will be able to tell. Also, turn off the TV and computer – keep your focus on her.
7. Learn to let silence be okay
This last tip will help you get through your first phone call with her easily, and that is to learn that silence is OK on the phone. Don’t rush to fill the silence, but also don’t let it go on for too long. Silence can let both of you think and take in what is said. It is a normal part of the conversation.
Every successful relationship needs quality conversation. Talking to a girl you like on the phone shows a girl that you are interested. If you are in a relationship and not able to meet your girlfriend, then talking on the phone is a great option. Girls always enjoy talking over the phone more than guys. Talking on the phone makes you feel closer to her. If you call your girlfriend and don’t know what to say her but you want to connect with her then it can be an awkward situation. Talk about the things that interest both of you. Communication helps to grow your relationship. Perfect communication should start with happy conversations. Sometimes you feel like that you have nothing to say. If you want to make her feel more connected to you and want to talk something interesting then you are at right place. This article will help you how to talk to your girlfriend on the phone.
Best Ways to Talk to Your Girlfriend on the Phone:
1.) Choose the Best Time and Place to Call Your Girlfriend
It is important to know if she is free to talk or not. Set the time to chat over text or wait to call until she will be free. If she is busy with her family or she is playing the game then don’t call between her busy schedule. Text her before you want to make a call. Ask her over text “Are you free to talk or can I call you at 6?”
- Your girlfriend will be more open and honest with you if she knows that no one can overhear your conversation. Call her at a quiet and private place. Don’t call when you are with your friends.
- She is giving you her time and you should also do the same. When you talk to her on the phone, don’t chat online, text, watch TV or talk to other people. Let her know that her conversation is the important thing in the world.
2.) Make Small Talk When You Talk to Her
Start your conversation with small talks as it will help you to talk to your girlfriend on the phone. If you sound friendly and keen to talk then she will respond in the same way. When she picks your call, greet her cheerfully so that she can easily open up. Use appropriate words like “hi beautiful! How’s my girl doing? Or “How was your day?”
- If she doesn’t pick your call then leave a cute and short message for her. She will like that you were thinking of her.
- Small talk creates a connection between both of you. Start with a casual conversation like asking her about her interests, talk about the event, discuss a movie or TV show and share a story of your day.
3.) Compliment Her
Compliment your girlfriend about her cute smile, her haircut, her dress or any other special thing which she did for you. When she hears a genuine or real compliment from the guy she likes, she feels loved and appreciated. Tell her about how beautiful she looked on the last date or how sweet her voice sounds on the phone. Keep in mind; good compliments always lead to more romantic conversations. Make your girlfriend feel appreciated and loved. Let her know how important she is in your life and how special she is.
4.) Talk About Your Future
Talking about your future is the best way to talk to your girlfriend on the phone. Girls always like a guy who is passionate about his future and works towards it. Talk about the things you want to do, about your life, your aspirations and future goals and some other things. You can be fun, spontaneous and live for the moment but if you have a focused life then she will be impressed by your determination and will like you more.
5.) Talk about Her Friends, Her Interests and Her Family
Taking about her interests and her friends is a great way to talk to your girlfriend on the phone. Talk about her family, her friends, her interests, their lives and the things she likes to do. If you talk about all these things then she can see that you are genuinely interested in knowing everything about her life. If both of you share common hobbies and interests, then you both will be able to bond better with each other. Everyone has their own views about life. But yet, we can’t share them with everyone. If you find more about her views on life then you can understand her better. You will also get to know about her goals in life and what she wants to do in future.
6.) Be Around the World
Knowing about everything will help you to talk to your girlfriend on the phone. You should know everything about the world either by reading the newspaper or by watching the news. Then talk to your girlfriend about things which seem interesting. You will always have new and interesting things to talk about each day. You can also discuss a lot of fun things that will help both of you to understand the world around each other. Keep your conversation light and easy. Avoid some topic like politics and religion that can heat up your conversation.
7.) Talk about Your Past and Secrets
Everyone loves to know about good secrets. If you have a few secrets then share them with her. It will make her happy and make her see that you trust her to share your secrets with her. Talking and listening to childhood memories are always fun especially if it involves funny or embarrassing incident. Your girlfriend will have a good laugh and will fall in love with you.
8.) End the Conversation in a Good Manner
It will be better to say goodbye if you still have things to talk to one another. Put your conversation on hold so that you can continue it in your next conversation. Say her you can talk about on the next phone call. Let her know you appreciate her conversation and she is special for you. If she knows you want to hear her sweet voice then she will be inclined to call you. Make her smile by saying something sweet before you hang up. You can tease her with a nickname or compliment her.
WRITE DOWN 3 TO 5 QUESTIONS about something you see in her online dating profile or your email exchanges.
Even if you’re good at keeping a conversation going with a girl & especially if you’re not, you should read over her internet dating profile. Then write down 3 to 5 questions about things in her profile that you’d like to know.
It’ll only take a couple minutes to jot down these questions and it’ll really help the conversation go much smoother.
Tips to come up with some good questions:
Look for something in her profile or photos that you’d genuinely like to know more about. Write that question down.
Look for something in her profile that SHE seems to be interested in. A profile is only a small glimpse into her life so if she wrote about something specific that stands out, there’s a good chance that it’s really important to her. Write that question down. That can be a great way to get to know her and keep the conversation flowing.
Look for things in her profile that you two have in common. Are you both into fitness? Are you both into photography? Do you both happen to like something wacky like eating pickle & peanut butter sandwiches? What are you gonna do? That’s right. Write that question down! Don’t bring up too many commonalities though. That can come off needy. So to balance things out move on to Tip #4.
Look for something in her profile to make fun of her about. Is she making a silly pose in a photo? Did she read the Twilight Series Vampire Books? Make fun of her about it. Write that down! Don’t go overboard with this though, it can backfire if you keep making fun of her.
If you’re looking for something specific in a girl be sure to ask a few qualification questions. A qualification question is a way of screening a girl for qualities you’re looking for.
For Example: If you’re looking for a girl that likes to go out, socialize and party some questions you can ask are:
- So what do you usually do on the weekends?
- Do you have a big group of friends?
Ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions require more than a yes or no answer. This encourages conversation. Even if you ask a yes or no question, you can turn it into an open ended question by getting them to further explain the yes or no answer.
Time for some examples:
I just checked out a girls profile on Match.com. I came up with these questions you can use as a guide. See if you can figure out which tip I used to come up with which question:
Example Question #1
Wow! You’re getting your Master’s degree, congratulations. That must be difficult. You sure you have time for a guy?
Now if at any time during your conversation you need to be reminded about something awesome to talk about to keep the conversation going -BAM- you have your small list of 3 to 5 questions.
Does She Want You to Call Instead of Text? Here’s How to Tell
We get it — if you learned the ins-and-outs of dating decades ago, before you got married, getting back into the swing of modern swiping and digital connections presents a steep learning curve. But if your post-divorce goals include meeting a partner to share your life with — a relationship that goes the distance, investing in the new rules of dating should be your next priority. One key area where most men fail to hit the mark is with the phone. While previous generations might have looked forward to (and, ahem, waited for) a nightly dial to catch up or have meaningful conversations, texting via blue one-liners and many clever emojis is quickly becoming the new normal.
Not sure how to exercise your thumbs in an effective way? Here, relationship experts and therapists give their candid advice on the new golden rules for making phone calls. Now you don’t have to question if you should text, ring, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Facebook messenger or send a carrier pigeon when you’re into a woman:
Why Are Phone Calls Becoming Outdated?
Psychotherapist and author of The Relationship Fix, Dr. Jenn Mann says that, just as norms in business shift over the years, so do the aspects of dating. Considering more and more people are becoming more comfortable with emerging technology, good ‘ole fashioned telephones are considered, well, an ancient practice that’s meant for only very specific situations. It all has to do with the message and tone women might perceive a ring radiates into a could-be relationship. “If you meet someone at a party, event or restaurant, most people, in this day and age, text before they call. Calling can sometimes appear aggressive or catch people off guard. Even just a text, asking when might be a good time to call, can make for a gentler introduction on the phone,” she explains.
Relationship expert Elena Burnett also warns that making a phone call too early into the flirting — or courting — period can put you at risk of expressing more vulnerability than your potential mate has earned. That’s why text messages are designed to be more impersonal, she notes, because they give you a sense of control over when and for how long you want to carry a conversation, allowing the relationship to move slower. “To call a woman indicates you are willing to give her your total attention, an act of sacrifice that takes you away from accomplishing other things during that time,” she says.
Rule No. 1: Use It As A Gut-Check Before A First Date
If communicating and taking note of a woman’s laugh, the way her voice rises and falls with conversation, how she hesitates at certain topics or leans into others, is important to you — well, Dr. Mann says that’s a great way to approach a relationship. But the first time you should have that deep discussion is in person, not on the phone. The exception to this rule is when you’ve met someone on one of the many popular dating apps, from Tinder and Bumble to OkCupid, Hinge and beyond. That’s because talking on the phone can serve as a gut-check, giving you a blind glimpse into her personality before wasting your time, money, spirit or heart on a date that is bound to go sour. “If you have met someone on a dating app, the usual protocol is to first text and then talk on the phone before asking someone on a date. It is important to see if there is good talking chemistry before meeting in person. Most women feel safer after talking on the phone first,” she explains.
Rule No. 2: Early in a Relationship, Only Use Phone Calls to Make Plans
After that introductory call and first date, though? Burnett echoes Dr. Mann, adding that calls, FaceTimes or any type of vocal communication over the phone should be reserved for emergencies and for getting down to the business of planning your next meet-up. “Never ask a woman if you can call her, but find out when she has free time. Take the initiative and don’t use the phone call to chit-chat too much. Phones should be thought of as for emergencies only. Call to invite her out and leave the small talk for when you meet up,” she explains.
This article was co-authored by Katherine Kirkinis, Ed.M., MA. Katherine Kirkinis is a Career Coach and Psychotherapist who has served as a career expert for Forbes, Medium, Best Life, and Working Mother Magazine, and as a diversity and inclusion expert for ATTN and Quartz. She specializes in working with issues of career, identity, and indecision. She has doctoral-level training in career counseling and career assessment and has worked with hundreds of clients to make career decisions through career assessments. She is pursuing a doctoral degree at The University of Albany, SUNY where her work focuses on diversity and inclusion, racism in the workplace, and racial identity. She is a published author and has been featured in academic journals as well as popular media outlets. Her research has been presented at 10+ national APA conferences since 2013.
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Whether you want to make a date or make a sale on the job, there are times when you have to make an important phone call. If you’re not used to talking to on the phone, starting a conversation can be intimidating. The key to a successful phone call is making sure both parties feel comfortable so you can discuss the matter at hand with ease.
Do you want to make a girl fall in love with you, but you can only talk to her on the phone? Do you prefer to do online dating where you can only talk online or on the phone? If so, then this is definitely the article that you need to read. When it comes to making a girl fall in love with you, it can be quite tricky, especially if you can’t meet with her face to face. If you’re very shy or live too far away to meet in person then this article will definitely help you to win the heart of your dream girl.
The first tip is that you need to talk to her regularly . If your only means of contact is via your phone, then you definitely want to be in regular contact with her. Of course, you shouldn’t start bombarding her phone with messages and call every hour, especially not in the beginning! This will just cause her to think you’re possessive and weird, and she will steer clear of you. Instead, the idea is to slowly reel her in and allow her to crave and want more contact with you. So, how can you do this?
The first thing is to dial up the charm, be open about yourself and most of all, you need to be interesting! This means that when you do talk to her, make sure to have interesting things and stories to talk about, since you have to capture the girl’s attention and interest. If a woman is intrigued by you, she will definitely be attracted to you. Of course, you can’t be too mysterious, otherwise she might start wondering if you’re a serial killer.
Once you can tell that she is much more interested in talking to you, you should slowly become more available to talk to her on the phone and make her a priority. Women love it when you show them that they are important to you, and they will automatically make you more of a priority in their life. You can do this by cancelling a few outings with your friends in order to stay at home and talk to her on the phone. This will show how serious you are about her and will definitely help you to win her affections.
Next, once you start to talk more on the phone, you should always try to make the girl talk more about herself . This means that you should be genuinely interested in what she has to say and allow her to talk as much as she wants. Everyone loves to talk about themselves and by being a good listener she will love talking to you and connect with you on a deeper level. However, this does not mean that you should just be a passive listener. Instead, actively listen to what she has to say and ask her relevant questions or make comments to show that you are highly engaged with what she is saying. This will indicate that you are highly interested in her as a person and she will grow to love you over time.
However, being charming and truly listening to a girl, won’t win her love. You need to connect with her and you can do this by actually opening up and showing her who you are as a person. You have to allow her to know your past, your secrets, your thoughts and your dreams. Sure, it can be difficult to open up if you’re an introverted person, however, it is essential that you do this if you want to win the girl’s heart. This is actually one of the most important things you can do and if she really resonates with what you say, then the both of you will surely fall in love.
Lastly, when it comes to getting a girl to fall in love, you need to share your life with her, even if you can only talk to her on the phone. Thankfully, there are many internet based messaging services like WhatsApp which allow you to chat as well as share video, audio files and pictures. So, instead of always calling her or sending her messages, make sure to also send her cute pictures. For example, you can write her name in the sand along with a message, such as “Good Morning” or “I hope you have an amazing day” and take a picture of it and send it to her. There are many imaginative ways you can use your phone’s camera to send her pictures or videos that she will simply love.
Once you apply the tips and strategies listed above, the girl will surely fall in love with you. It might take as little as a few weeks or a few months, but I am certain that she will in time…
Whether you are in a long-distance relationship or just don’t have much time together, communication is valuable for relationships, and talking over the phone is one of the best ways to help your relationship develop. Even though chitchat with your other half is important, it can sometimes get repetitive and dull. Spice up your conversation with some fun games perfect for playing with your girlfriend over the phone.
This popular speaking game is ideal for playing with your girlfriend over the phone. Often when people play this game they are inspired by objects around them, so playing over the phone where the one person cannot see what the other can see makes it more difficult and exciting. You simply think of a person or object and your girlfriend must guess what or who it is by asking 21 questions or less. If she cannot guess it in 21 questions, she loses. Then switch the guesser.
Name That Tune
This game is perfect for music lovers. It is a fun way of getting to know each other’s music tastes and for you to find out more about your girlfriend. Hum a few bars of a song and get her to guess the artist and the name of the song. Alternatively, you could speak the lyrics of the song and have her try to name the song.
Test both of your memories with the fun ABC game. Start with the letter A and take turns thinking of a word beginning with each letter of the alphabet. Each person must repeat the words that have already been said before coming up with a new word for the next letter of the alphabet. For example, if your girlfriend starts with A for “apple,” you repeat “apple” and then say something beginning with B such as “banana.” As the game continues it gets gradually more difficult. You could make the game themed, like by only naming animals or fruits and vegetables.
If you both have access to the Internet, playing online games together while on the phone can inject some thrill into your conversation. There are plenty of online multiplayer games, from board games like chess, to card games such as blackjack. Most online gaming websites will be free, but you will most likely need to create an account to connect directly to each other.