How to be a loner in school

The time interval “loner” is usually used to refer to someone who’s always by themselves, nonetheless it is slightly greater than that. Loners have no precise need to affiliate or be spherical completely different people. Loneliness won’t be the similar as being a longer. The reason why these variations are important is as a results of a loner can be lonely or a loner may be thriving in solitude. To know the loner persona traits, one has to understand what or who a loner is.

A loner can be any specific particular person. The time interval won’t be a scientific one and it has no medical resonance. It isn’t a state of affairs or a dysfunction. Being a loner is simply a persona trait, merely as conceitedness, rude, soft-spoken, selection, mild or proud are. Nevertheless loner just isn’t solely an adjective to describe a specific particular person’s angle or character. It actually implies a specific particular person’s ideas, thought course of, technique in the course of life and life-style itself.

Frequent Loner Traits

A loner is kind of always shy or a quiet specific particular person. He or she would not indulge in many conversations. He wouldn’t typically be seen with anyone and he would preserve or ,as a minimum try to preserve aloof, from one thing and all people spherical him or her. The one issue that can draw the attention of a loner is any object or specific particular person of curiosity. A loner won’t be mentally challenged or disabled in any means. They merely don’t want to partake in social actions in the similar technique that others do. He or she would fairly spend time in their very personal world doing points that they like and pondering over irrespective of pursuits them.

Whereas the aforementioned is a very generic description of a loner, there are fairly a few exceptions. A loner can be selection or unkind, mild or smug, humble or proud, virtuous or vicious and every completely different time interval which will be used to describe extreme traits of human beings, every on the optimistic and the unfavorable end of the possibilities. A loner can be a scientist in the making or a potential recruit for brainwashing terrorist organizations.

Equally, what causes a specific particular person to be a loner might also fluctuate, which moreover impacts persona traits. A person can be a loner due to a historic previous of abuse. A person might also be a loner as a results of he or she is the abuser. In these two circumstances, their technique in the course of the world and their persona might sound to be the similar nonetheless their eventual exposition would be radically utterly completely different.

It is a widespread notion that loners are unhappy, they’re sad and do not have something to do or no person to love, that they are each losers or nerds, they’ll on no account be accepted by society at big and they also may on no account end up being anyone. Pretty reverse to that, loners can be very glad, terribly beloved and may be further worthwhile than in some other case common people.

Additional Traits To Be Acutely aware Of

In that context, listed below are some loner persona traits.

1. A loner can have a very joyous persona. Simply because a loner stays away from gratifying and frolic, doesn’t combine in with the crowds and doesn’t share a hearty chuckle publicly doesn’t indicate that they are depressed or unhappy. A loner can actually be the happiest specific particular person in the world, content material materials collectively together with his or her abilities, with a good family, engaged on points they like and planning their future in methods in which enchantment to them.

2. A loner’s persona also can be an ever altering one. Since they don’t keep confined to social norms or preserve loaded with commitments and glued necessity to dwell their lives in a positive means in accordance to expectations, loners sometimes take the routes a lot much less traveled and, in the strategy, they evolve. Data is seldom attained by adhering to all the mundane frivolities in life and in the world. Data is attained by concepts, realizations, explorations, introspections and by doing what won’t be being carried out. This actuality about data moreover implies that loners are wiser. They don’t put forth a wise persona nonetheless after they converse, they’ll make further sense than anyone else spherical.

3. Shifting away from the optimistic loner persona traits, there are quite a few negatives as properly. A loner won’t be intelligent by default or wise by begin. If a specific particular person is a loner due to some specific points and doesn’t have a lot to be in or be engrossed in, then such a specific particular person will be depressed, terribly lonely and can proceed to develop a cocoon of a shell spherical him or her to get further away from society and others. Loner persona traits which may be indicative of a bruised psyche or depressed coronary coronary heart ought to be attended to with expert help.

Loving a Loner: How to Technique the Unapproachable

How exactly to be a part of whereas respecting boundaries.

Revealed Dec 24, 2020

It’s possible you’ll want questioned how to best break the ice you in all probability have ever been in someone who’s further reserved than gregarious, who would not radiate the warmth of approachability. That you just could be dealing with a loner and can proceed with reservation and respect do you have to decide indicators of introversion, take into consideration.

What exactly is a loner? Sometimes, merely any particular person who loves to be alone. Analysis have very prolonged established the prospect good points about privateness, plus some individuals not merely take pride in solitude nonetheless earnestly seek for it away.[i] Many individuals truly take pride in their very personal agency and relish time alone to sleep, flake out, and recharge.

With regards to intimate intentions, take into consideration that a one which prefers solo that is flying on no account be looking for to rise onto a bike designed for two. However you are setting your sights on someone who’s single), the following question is whether or not or not relationship a loner is greatest for you if that is not the case, and barring completely different relational exclusions (be positive that. When your notion of a great date is a crowded celebration or networking mixer, a loner may not be a good match. For many who’re cosy private, proceed finding out.

Romancing a Recluse

Fairly a few loners are homebodies, presumably not hermits. Viewing their residence as a citadel or cave(or every), they encounter time in the home as a staycation, possibly not household arrest. And in regards to the inspiration to mingle, some individuals which may be reclusive similar to the sanctity of solitude over social exercise.

It’s possible you’ll start with digital communication should you’re in establishing a relationship with someone who enjoys spending time at home. And in order for you to focus on, decide to try an previous type cellphone line in the place of a Zoom hyperlink as a results of individuals which may be cosy at home don’t reside camera-ready.

Welcoming a loner off to dinner and even a social event is usually possibly not an invite well-received till she or he understands you terribly properly very first. Conversely, if, over time of distant relationship establishing, a loner asks you down for espresso or lunch, take into consideration that end up to be a shiny mild that is inexperienced. Exactly what could it be want to be in a relationship with a reclusive intimate affiliate?

Private People and Public Reveals of Affection

Do people who choose privateness publicly current love? It’d be determined by why some physique would fairly alone spend time. Xia Jiang and Bi-hua Zhao (2017) discovered a correlation that is unfavorable choice for solitude and good love, moderated by the aptitude to be alone.[ii] They determined that having the ability to be alone decreases the have an effect on that is unfavorable of selection on good love.

Completely different evaluation data that some individuals not merely have the prospect nonetheless the aspire to alone spend time and actually really feel anxious as quickly as they aren’t getting ample privateness. Robert J. Coplan et al., in a piece entitled “Seeking Additional Solitude” (2019), launched the thought of “aloneliness,” referred to as “the unfavorable emotions that come up through the notion any particular one might be not spending the time alone.”[iii] Coplan et al. found that an affinity for aloneness (possibly not the similar exercise as shyness) had been related to wellbeing.

Taken collectively, these analysis seem to level out that understanding why any particular person spends time alone may be key to benefiting from prime quality time collectively.

Loving a Loner: Bonding Inside Boundaries

Evidently, you are in a position to have a healthful, healthful, completely satisfied relationship with a loner—who values spending (a few of their) time alone. Respecting boundaries, seeing social preferences, and expressing nonjudgmental acceptance will facilitate your performance to develop a satisfying relationship of perception and shared respect.

[i] Burger, Jerry M. 1995. “Individual variations in choice for Solitude.” Journal of examine in Character 29 (1): 85–108. doi:10.1006/jrpe.1995.1005.

Social interactions current a reassuring glimpse into others’ shortcomings.

My daughter Sam would not like group work. She would not profit from the exercise of switching her consideration between people who converse in speedy succession, sometimes over each other, and who someway develop a plan of movement whereas she stays to be processing a comment from minutes earlier. She moreover would not take pride in watching as her contributions are ignored, even when (by my analysis) these ideas could be pursued further fruitfully than the idea that carries the day. As a results of she will’t work together in the easy rapport of her classmates, they seem to tolerate, fairly than value, her presence. Sam prefers to work alone, and I respect that selection.

How to be a loner in school

I moreover acknowledge that society desires people who work properly with others, and society desires people who work properly alone. Picasso on no account sought collaborators for Guernica; most writers, whereas they respect editors and sounding boards for his or her ideas, write in solitude. Solitude is a official selection.

That’s the reason I cringed as soon as I be taught an article that argued, “Our social thoughts—which provides rise to {our capability} to deal with people, interactions, and relationships—is actually probably the most extremely efficient a part of human intelligence.” I always cringe as soon as I be taught declarations that some human attribute is “strongest,” as a results of the declaration typically serves the creator’s self-promoting perform. Each it elevates his or her expertise set to the highest of accomplishment, or it promotes the expertise set that the creator is paid to evaluation and educate to others. By promoting the “social thoughts” as a result of the sine qua non, primarily probably the most valuable trait we possess, the creator implicitly demeans all of us whose talents lie elsewhere.

Nevertheless I am realizing this school 12 months that social deficits, as a minimum for Sam, carry a worth I had on no account thought of: unattainable expectations of herself. Sam assumes that she is the one scholar in her class who would not understand a concept.

She assumes that her subject stems from an inherent inadequacy inside her, on no account from a poor clarification or the difficulty of the material. Again and again she asks, “Ought to I’ve recognized that?” Sometimes she asks the question quietly, and sometimes she asks through tears. And I perceive that she has no technique of understanding what she ought to have recognized, as a results of she will’t acknowledge the alternative school college students’ confused expressions, nor does she work together in conversations about class. My youthful daughter, Kelly, started extreme school this 12 months, and I’ve been amazed to be taught the best way a lot dialogue takes place over social media every evening. The children remind each other of the homework assignments, look at options, ask for explanations from each other, and complain about their teachers. Most mom and father will not be surprised to hear about this chatter, nonetheless these of us whose youngsters are autistic on no account witness these reassuring exchanges.

Ought to I’ve recognized that? The world seems unpredictable, as a results of an overabundance of sensory information has flooded Sam’s thoughts indiscriminately as a result of the day she was born. Determining causality contains choosing information from this overload, sometimes arbitrarily. Sanity contains blocking out a lot of the data, as soon as extra arbitrarily. What was missed? Was it important? Was the associated information ever revealed?

Most people assemble their id in half by evaluating their experiences to these of various people. Youngsters look at grades, athletic prowess, and households. They know in the event that they’re carrying the “cool” mannequin of footwear by listening and watching. After which they decide in the occasion that they care. They be taught the best way to navigate puberty with its highs and lows by scrutinizing the people spherical them and by (as a minimum for women) dissecting every social interaction with their closest mates. They be taught to rebound from failure by watching others moreover fail and by finding out that their mates nonetheless like them, irrespective of their effectivity.

With out a social thoughts, imperfection is not “normalized;” the soothing mantra “Everybody feels this way sometimes” cannot be internalized. I am improbable with my daughter preferring her private agency and her private acts of creativity. I am happy together with her persistence. I merely need I could hear her sooner or later plead ignorance with out belittling herself in the strategy. Restricted data would not replicate failure. I would like her to think about, “It’s not all on you, my beautiful teenager.”

Loving a Loner: How to Technique the Unapproachable

How exactly to be a part of whereas respecting boundaries.

Revealed Dec 24, 2020

It’s possible you’ll want questioned how to best break the ice you in all probability have ever been in someone who’s further reserved than gregarious, who would not radiate the warmth of approachability. That you just could be dealing with a loner and can proceed with reservation and respect do you have to decide indicators of introversion, take into consideration.

What exactly is a loner? Sometimes, merely any particular person who loves to be alone. Analysis have very prolonged established the prospect good points about privateness, plus some individuals not merely take pride in solitude nonetheless earnestly seek for it away.[i] Many individuals truly take pride in their very personal agency and relish time alone to sleep, flake out, and recharge.

With regards to intimate intentions, take into consideration that a one which prefers solo that is flying on no account be looking for to rise onto a bike designed for two. However you are setting your sights on someone who’s single), the following question is whether or not or not relationship a loner is greatest for you if that is not the case, and barring completely different relational exclusions (be positive that. When your notion of a great date is a crowded celebration or networking mixer, a loner may not be a good match. For many who’re cosy private, proceed finding out.

Romancing a Recluse

Fairly a few loners are homebodies, presumably not hermits. Viewing their residence as a citadel or cave(or every), they encounter time in the home as a staycation, possibly not household arrest. And in regards to the inspiration to mingle, some individuals which may be reclusive similar to the sanctity of solitude over social exercise.

It’s possible you’ll start with digital communication should you’re in establishing a relationship with someone who enjoys spending time at home. And in order for you to focus on, decide to try an previous type cellphone line in the place of a Zoom hyperlink as a results of individuals which may be cosy at home don’t reside camera-ready.

Welcoming a loner off to dinner and even a social event is usually possibly not an invite well-received till she or he understands you terribly properly very first. Conversely, if, over time of distant relationship establishing, a loner asks you down for espresso or lunch, take into consideration that end up to be a shiny mild that is inexperienced. Exactly what could it be want to be in a relationship with a reclusive intimate affiliate?

Private People and Public Reveals of Affection

Do people who choose privateness publicly current love? It’d be determined by why some physique would fairly alone spend time. Xia Jiang and Bi-hua Zhao (2017) discovered a correlation that is unfavorable choice for solitude and good love, moderated by the aptitude to be alone.[ii] They determined that having the ability to be alone decreases the have an effect on that is unfavorable of selection on good love.

Completely different evaluation data that some individuals not merely have the prospect nonetheless the aspire to alone spend time and actually really feel anxious as quickly as they aren’t getting ample privateness. Robert J. Coplan et al., in a piece entitled “Seeking Additional Solitude” (2019), launched the thought of “aloneliness,” referred to as “the unfavorable emotions that come up through the notion any particular one might be not spending the time alone.”[iii] Coplan et al. found that an affinity for aloneness (possibly not the similar exercise as shyness) had been related to wellbeing.

Taken collectively, these analysis seem to level out that understanding why any particular person spends time alone may be key to benefiting from prime quality time collectively.

Loving a Loner: Bonding Inside Boundaries

Evidently, you are in a position to have a healthful, healthful, completely satisfied relationship with a loner—who values spending (a few of their) time alone. Respecting boundaries, seeing social preferences, and expressing nonjudgmental acceptance will facilitate your performance to develop a satisfying relationship of perception and shared respect.

[i] Burger, Jerry M. 1995. “Individual variations in choice for Solitude.” Journal of examine in Character 29 (1): 85–108. doi:10.1006/jrpe.1995.1005.

How to be a loner in school

How to be a loner in school

Your daughter is 15, nonetheless seems further like 50. She prefers finding out a good e-book to hanging out with a good buddy, strolling her canine to dancing on the promenade, and curling up in her private mattress to sleeping in a bean bag at a wild and crazy slumber get collectively. At her age, you had been up all evening time guffawing alongside along with your girlfriends, or out in the afternoons driving bikes with the neighborhood youngsters. You marvel, worry, and find yourself labeling her a loner.

Even though it will not be your cup of tea, for some people, loads of time alone is okay. In accordance to psychologist Anthony Storr, creator of the e-book Solitude: A Return to Self, a teenager who craves isolation could merely need some space to course of the world around her. Or she could require uninterrupted blocks of time to nurture an full of life creativeness. Or possibly she merely desires to sit beneath an oak tree alone and strengthen her bond with nature. Any means you’re taking a take a look at it, she’s in good agency. Proficient artists paying homage to Beatrix Potter, Rudyard Kipling, and Michelangelo had been all well-known childhood loners.

Nonetheless feeling a little anxious? Although your daughter’s penchant for alone-time may be utterly common, it on no account hurts to embark on a fact-finding mission to put your ideas comfy. Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D. suggests having a dialog about your points alongside along with your teenager and asking the following four questions to resolve if her actions are a choice or a drawback.

  1. Do you spend time alone since you actually really feel rejected or excluded by your classmates?
  2. Is anyone at school teasing you, or making cruel suggestions about you?
  3. Do you feel lonely or sad as a rule?
  4. Do you prefer to your life was any utterly completely different than it is?

If she options positive to any of the questions, avoiding social interaction may be the best way in which she is coping alongside together with her ache. Provide assist and deal with a plan for intervention, paying homage to conferences with teachers and school administrators.

If, alternatively, your daughter tells you that she enjoys her books, her canine and her private mattress, and relishes time by herself, she may be a unusual hen who flies on the wings of solitude. We’re all wired in a completely different manner. Be taught to take pride in her uniqueness. You will have a future Nobel Prize winner, artist, or best-selling creator in your palms.

A freshman worries about being a loner in extreme school with out mates

QUESTION

For the previous couple of weeks, I’ve been noticing that my mates don’t seem to like me anymore. They stopped caring about me; they don’t have a tendency to focus to what I would like to inform them; and lastly, I actually really feel as in the occasion that they solely use me. The problem is that that is relevant to ALL of my mates and if I lose all of them, I obtained’t have any mates in any respect.

Discover: I am a freshman in extreme school. I don’t want to seek for new mates as a results of I’ve a distinct type that no person truly seems to like. Moreover, I already misplaced a good buddy and he or she’s been bothering me to be her good buddy as soon as extra nonetheless I don’t want to as a results of she’s a unhealthy specific particular person in fundamental.

This group of mates started to not care about me as a results of my cousin and I started this membership at school. We had some drama in our membership as a results of now we now have rivals, and your entire membership started to get out of hand after we wished to be taught this one dance. No person appeared like they wished to dance in any respect nor had the time to come and apply so it’s postponed and one different dance apply started for a utterly completely different monitor and one in every of many “dance officers” started to give me a unfavorable angle since she postponed hers and a new one is started with out her.

Moreover, they’ve an inclination to appear as if they’re preserving many secrets and techniques and methods away from me. They actually didn’t care about ever since I first met them (sixth grade). I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be a loner in extreme school for four years. Please help.

ANSWER

You want to actually really feel very confused and harm to suppose your buddies stopped caring about you. I’m curious as to whether or not or not one factor occurred, other than the membership/dance drama, to change the best way in which your buddies are treating you.

If one factor upsetting occurred in your life spherical that time in any other case you’ve been feeling depressed, you could be extraordinarily delicate to what looks as if rejection, and all of the issues could be improbable regardless that nothing feels improbable. For many who can’t decide one thing, asking the nice buddy with whom you feel most cosy could be helpful.

Fortunately, dramas in extreme school don’t typically last very prolonged. There are always new points to seize consideration and gossip. When a plan such as a result of the dance or membership, appears poorly, there are typically lessons which will be found. We’ll uncover a lot about ourselves and be taught easier strategies of relating to others by doing an “autopsy” of what occurred. For many who could redo the incident, what would you do in a completely different manner? Would you get further enter from others or presumably focus on to others in a completely different manner or presumably embody others? Maybe none of these questions apply, nonetheless I wager you will discover one factor to do greater subsequent time.

You say that you’ve got “distinct type” in mates, which tells me you are creative and distinctive. These are qualities many people uncover attention-grabbing, notably in extreme school the place some youngsters actually really feel like they’ve to go alongside to get alongside. Being your private specific particular person reveals power and administration qualities. As you develop previous, you’ll perceive that numerous sorts of friendships exist to meet utterly completely different desires. You’ll have shut mates, acquaintance-friendships, relationships based on associated pursuits, these which are psychological or athletic equals and individuals who discover themselves solely mates due to location/consolation (like neighbors or people you sit subsequent to in class).

Discovering mates who meet all these {{qualifications}} is troublesome, and even then, you could be so associated that you just get on each other’s nerves. For many who can broaden your tastes a little and focus on to utterly completely different people who seem selection, you could sort relationships you on no account anticipated. I’m not suggesting abandoning your current mates, merely being open to others. Even do you have to don’t end up to be mates, friendliness is a important asset you’ll use for the rest of your life.

I hope points work out along with your buddies. Good luck.

Signed, *Amy Feld

*Amy Feld, PhD, MSW has educated and labored as a teenager psychologist.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this or one other put up is supposed to substitute for medical, psychiatric or medical evaluation/treatment. Fairly, all posts are written because the type of suggestion that one good buddy could give to one different.

Social interactions current a reassuring glimpse into others’ shortcomings.

My daughter Sam would not like group work. She would not profit from the exercise of switching her consideration between people who converse in speedy succession, sometimes over each other, and who someway develop a plan of movement whereas she stays to be processing a comment from minutes earlier. She moreover would not take pride in watching as her contributions are ignored, even when (by my analysis) these ideas could be pursued further fruitfully than the idea that carries the day. As a results of she will’t work together in the easy rapport of her classmates, they seem to tolerate, fairly than value, her presence. Sam prefers to work alone, and I respect that selection.

How to be a loner in school

I moreover acknowledge that society desires people who work properly with others, and society desires people who work properly alone. Picasso on no account sought collaborators for Guernica; most writers, whereas they respect editors and sounding boards for his or her ideas, write in solitude. Solitude is a official selection.

That’s the reason I cringed as soon as I be taught an article that argued, “Our social thoughts—which provides rise to {our capability} to deal with people, interactions, and relationships—is actually probably the most extremely efficient a part of human intelligence.” I always cringe as soon as I be taught declarations that some human attribute is “strongest,” as a results of the declaration typically serves the creator’s self-promoting perform. Each it elevates his or her expertise set to the highest of accomplishment, or it promotes the expertise set that the creator is paid to evaluation and educate to others. By promoting the “social thoughts” as a result of the sine qua non, primarily probably the most valuable trait we possess, the creator implicitly demeans all of us whose talents lie elsewhere.

Nevertheless I am realizing this school 12 months that social deficits, as a minimum for Sam, carry a worth I had on no account thought of: unattainable expectations of herself. Sam assumes that she is the one scholar in her class who would not understand a concept.

She assumes that her subject stems from an inherent inadequacy inside her, on no account from a poor clarification or the difficulty of the material. Again and again she asks, “Ought to I’ve recognized that?” Sometimes she asks the question quietly, and sometimes she asks through tears. And I perceive that she has no technique of understanding what she ought to have recognized, as a results of she will’t acknowledge the alternative school college students’ confused expressions, nor does she work together in conversations about class. My youthful daughter, Kelly, started extreme school this 12 months, and I’ve been amazed to be taught the best way a lot dialogue takes place over social media every evening. The children remind each other of the homework assignments, look at options, ask for explanations from each other, and complain about their teachers. Most mom and father will not be surprised to hear about this chatter, nonetheless these of us whose youngsters are autistic on no account witness these reassuring exchanges.

Ought to I’ve recognized that? The world seems unpredictable, as a results of an overabundance of sensory information has flooded Sam’s thoughts indiscriminately as a result of the day she was born. Determining causality contains choosing information from this overload, sometimes arbitrarily. Sanity contains blocking out a lot of the data, as soon as extra arbitrarily. What was missed? Was it important? Was the associated information ever revealed?

Most people assemble their id in half by evaluating their experiences to these of various people. Youngsters look at grades, athletic prowess, and households. They know in the event that they’re carrying the “cool” mannequin of footwear by listening and watching. After which they decide in the occasion that they care. They be taught the best way to navigate puberty with its highs and lows by scrutinizing the people spherical them and by (as a minimum for women) dissecting every social interaction with their closest mates. They be taught to rebound from failure by watching others moreover fail and by finding out that their mates nonetheless like them, irrespective of their effectivity.

With out a social thoughts, imperfection is not “normalized;” the soothing mantra “Everybody feels this way sometimes” cannot be internalized. I am improbable with my daughter preferring her private agency and her private acts of creativity. I am happy together with her persistence. I merely need I could hear her sooner or later plead ignorance with out belittling herself in the strategy. Restricted data would not replicate failure. I would like her to think about, “It’s not all on you, my beautiful teenager.”

So many people are shifting to new colleges. and so they have no idea if there goanna be a loner. okeyyyyyy i dunno wat else to say so yahhhhhhh so yahhhhhhhh byeee

so now for taking this quiz you will knoq if ur goanna be a loner and in case your goanna be a no loner hehehehehehehe i dunno wat else to say tandom rosssss

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