How to relax before a date

How to relax before a date

I totally understand that nerves can sit in before a date. Dating can be hard, and it’s even scarier when your prospect is someone you might be more invested in or curious to meet. Thus, doing things to relax and feel confident before a date can help you release those butterflies and gain your composure to go in feeling excited and ready to spark conversation and get to know each other.

As a certified health coach, I work with clients on feeling happier and healthier overall, and relationships prove to be a major component in determining their quality of life and connectedness to their community and social surroundings. Having a good support group and making time for social commitments and fun can boost wellbeing and confidence, which can carry over into other areas, such as work and openness to new experiences. While having a nice network of friends, co-workers and family is always beneficial, leaving room for that special someone to be a partner in your life is incredibly important, as it can increase happiness for many people. Instead of letting nerves get to you, use these eleven steps to feel more confident and easy going into the dating scene, so that you can open yourself up to love long-term.

1. Wear Something Comfortable

Feeling constricted or uncomfortable in what you are wearing can make a date harder than it needs to be. For instance, if you’re a sweater, wearing something looser or of lighter fabric might be best. Plus, if you are wearing something that you don’t feel hot and confident in, then you might become more nervous and insecure throughout the date.

2. Don’t Stress About Who’s Paying For What

Whether you end up paying or not, don’t expect that your date will pick up the check at the end of the night. At the same time, don’t stress about who will be spending or how to order, as long as you are prepared to offer to pay either for the whole affair or for your own portion. If you are comfortable paying for yourself, go in feeling confident in your position and abilities and don’t fret about the money.

3. Keep Great Posture & Walk The Walk

According to Dr. Stuart Fischer, physician, educator, and author of ‘The Park Avenue Diet’ in interview with eHarmony, holding yourself tall and proud and keeping a nice, relaxed and confident gait can make you feel more prepared for embarking upon the dating world. Plus, this posing can make you feel more in control over the situation and energized!

4. Listen To Music

Listening to music could hep you feel more relaxed and confident before heading out to a date, says Mark Tyrrell, therapist, trainer and author in interview with PickTheBrain. So, put together a playlist that matches your needs, whether it’s a soothing, calming arrangement or an energizing, upbeat, medley that you can dance to.

5. Look At Their Photos Before

According to Chicago based therapist, Chelsea Hudson, LCPC, over email with me, you might notice some excitement for a date if “you were physically and intellectually attracted to them,” or “if thinking about them brings an involuntary smile to your face.” Looking at some photos beforehand could test out this theory and boost your eagerness to go on the date.

6. Hit The Gym

According to Ron Geraci, New York City-based online dating coach in interview with Match.com, working up a sweat before a date could help set the mood by making you feel more confident in your overall appearance and can release feel-good hormones, endorphins, to calm down the body and enhance levels of happiness.

7. Take Some Deep Breaths

Breathing, yoga and meditation can help relax the body and quiet the mind in order to center the self to focus on the present moment and to stabilize the mood, advises Jonathan Fields, founder of Sonic Yoga in interview with Match.com. Thus, take some deep breaths or do some exercises to calm jitters and start feeling more relaxed and confident.

8. Make Fun Plans Before

Spending time with family or friends before can aid as a distraction from pre-date jitters, it can enhance your mood and make you feel positive, and it can build up excitement about the upcoming date, says Jane Garapick, relationship coach. Do something enjoyable to relax and feel connected to a supportive network in preparation.

9. Recite Positive Mantras

According to Diana Kirschner Ph.D., in an article for Psychology Today, reciting positive mantras regarding love, relationships, dating, and self-love can help boost excitement, comfort and confidence before meeting up with whomever you are set to see. You can say things like, “I deserve love and I will find it” or, “I look awesome in this dress. My date will flip.”

10. Look In The Mirror

According to Dr. Joe Rubino on his blog, he says that looking in the “magic mirror” and saying positive affirmations to yourself, while visually seeing your face, can boost self-esteem. This increase will help you feel more confident for the date ahead and more excited to get out there and just be yourself. Do it each day for daily benefits!

11. Have A Glass Of Wine

One glass of wine or a cocktail might be just what you need to loosen up and feel more relaxed, confident and comfortable, according to David L. Katz, M.D., the founding director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center, and the author of Disease-Proof in interview with Today. So pour yourself a drink and mellow out for a bit.

So, instead of letting nerves get to you, do something that will help you feel energized and excited before a date so that you give yourself the greatest opportunity to open up to someone else and see if there is room for potential moving forward. You just might meet the one!

First date jitters happen to everyone. You’re excited and all sorts of anxious. If you’d like to chill out before heading out, we’ve got a few relaxation tips you might want to give a go.

Feeling a bit frazzled before a date? Try one of these ideas on for size:

Play some tunes. Listen to your favorite songs or put on your favorite iTunes playlist while you’re getting ready. Feel free to dance around; it’s hard not to smile and relax when you’re busting out your silliest moves.

Take a sip of liquid courage. No, not alcohol. Make yourself a cup of your favorite hot tea or hot cocoa. Sit down and take time to enjoy your warm beverage.

Phone a friend. Give a pal (or your mom or your sister) a quick ring just to say hello. Chatting with a loved one is sure to calm your nerves. Plus, you can ask them for last minute advice.

Get knotty. Work out the kinks and stress in your body by gently rubbing your own neck. You’ll feel refreshed and relaxed after just a few minutes.

Be a bathing beauty. If you’ve got time, draw yourself a bubble bath and relax in the tub while reading your favorite magazines and books.

Give yourself a giggle. Ditch some of those anxious feelings by making yourself laugh. You could watch cute cat or puppy videos. Or, peruse your DVR or Hulu to rewatch an episode of your favorite funny show. One of my favorites is Parks and Recreation!

Give yourself a compliment. While you’re standing in front of the mirror getting ready, remind yourself how awesome you are. Compliment your beautiful eyes, gorgeous smile, rad sense of humor, anything really! Need some inspiration? Check out this little girl’ adorable daily affirmation.

Do you get nervous before dates? How do you relax before meeting a special someone for a romantic night out?

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How to relax before a date

Leading up to the date, you’re constantly thinking about what you’re going to wear, what you’re going to talk about, and wondering whether they’re going to like you and you them.

But the day of, especially just before you meet up with the other person, your stress can quickly go from a five to a ten in no time at all.

So, what can you do to relax before a first date?

Fortunately, there are a lot of simple but effective brain hacks you can use to relax, most or all requiring nothing more than what you already have around you.

The perfect date is the one where anything and everything goes wrong, but at the end of it, all you want is to see them again.

Here are five brain hacks for relaxing before a first date.

1. Adopt a power pose

Nerves before a first date are directly related to a lack of confidence. If you’re more confident, you’ll be less stressed about things in general.

One way you can do this is by adopting a “power pose” which research has shown has the ability to make us feel more confident.

Think of a pose that makes you feel empowered — a standing superman pose, sitting back with your arms folded up and legs on your desk, or standing while pumping or raising your fists (the idea is you want to expand and take up more space) — and adopt that pose for two straight minutes. You’ll not only feel more confident on your date but that confidence will help you relax.

2. Shift your perspective to “Who cares?”

Often the reason we’re so nervous is because we want things to go well. It’s our expectations.

After all, you could be meeting that special someone later tonight and you don’t want to screw things up. No wonder you feel so stressed out. That’s a lot of pressure, right?

However, by reminding yourself that there are a lot of great people out there, and that this is just one date (or that the right person will appreciate you no matter what), you can calm a lot of those nerves.

I’ve used this strategy before interviews and client calls a lot. There’s a lot of pressure on me professionally and I don’t want to screw up. But when I’d remind myself that this is “just another” call my anxiety goes out the window and I actually become very relaxed.

Who cares what happens? Good or bad you’ll still be alive tomorrow and can move on to the next one. And, the reality is, if it’s truly the right one there’s probably nothing you can do to mess it up anyway.

3. Take a nap

It’s important to take into consideration the state of your body before a first date.

How do you feel? Are you feeling rested and calm? Or are you working yourself up every moment of every day leading up to the date and not allowing your brain to rest?

If it’s the latter, getting a little extra sleep with a nap earlier in the day can help your body and mind recharge and put you in a calmer and more controlled state of mind when it comes time for your date.

4. Distract yourself with something you enjoy

If all else fails, forget about the date entirely and go distract yourself with something you enjoy doing such as reading, watching T.V., or listening to music.

Whatever you enjoy doing on your off time, just forget about the stress and dive in. Indulge yourself thoroughly and let yourself slide into relaxation.

Distraction is an incredibly useful technique when you’re anxious and need to calm down. That’s because the anxiety is caused by the contents of your state of mind. If you’re not currently thinking about the date, the anxiety starts to ease.

Sure, it might pick up again when you stop doing said activity, but now you’ll have shedded away a lot of that anxiety and can go into your date feeling refreshed and more clear-minded.

5. Be mindful of the breath

What if your date is literally thirty minutes away and you have no time for any of this?

What if you’ve tried a power pose and it hasn’t worked or you can’t find any privacy to stand like Superman for two full minutes without people thinking you’re out of your mind?

To be more accurate, be mindful of the in-breath and the out-breath and allow yourself to tune into what is going on within the body. Call it meditation or call it simply paying attention to the breath. Whatever you choose to call it doesn’t matter. It just matters that you do it.

Spend one, three, five, ten minutes following the breath in and out like this and you’ll feel a noticeable difference between before and after. And the cool thing is you can keep doing this well into the date.

If you or they take a moment to run to the restroom, follow your breath. Throughout the night at little moments here and there you can check in with your breath. If it’s sporadic, just note that and you’ll naturally begin to slow your breathing down, allowing you to stay calmer throughout the date.

So you haven’t been out on a date in awhile and you’re nervous that you’ll do or say the wrong thing. Or perhaps your last date was such a disaster that it should have had a rating 5 on the weather channel. Getting nervous before a date is understandable. Will they be attracted to you? Are you both on the same wavelength? Will you be able to control your mouth from saying something your brain knows is stupid?

Mistakes usually occur when stress levels are high. And lets face it dating is a stressful endeavour. The best thing you can do before a date is…relax…I know that is easier said than done but here are 8 easy ways to chillout before your dates arrives so that you actually have a good time on your date without any jittery mis-steps.

1. Meditate or if that sounds too mystical just close your eyes and focus on your breathing, feel it as it goes in and feel it go out. Can you feel it flow through your nostrils into your lungs? Does your stomach expand too? If it does then you know your breathing deeply and you’ll get the most benefit from the activity. See if you can focus on the pause between breaths and that between an inhale and an exhale. Do it for 5 minutes or do it for 20 – the length is not as important as your focus during this time.

2. Sing. Really loudly. Obviously this isn’t going to work in an office but it’s great in the car, especially at night if you’re worried about other people looking at you oddly.

3. Stretch. Try standing with your feet hip width apart and then take a deep breath, rise up onto your toes and reach up to the ceiling with your fingertips. Hold for as long as you can. And then slowly release your breath, your arms and finally put your heels back on the ground.

4. Go for a walk even if it’s just around the office or your living room. Or you could walk to the mailbox or do 6 starjumps or put on some dancing music. Anything to get your body moving and those endorphins flowing.

5. Give yourself a quick massage – your feet or hands are good places to start for a quick treat. Keep some hand cream or body lotion at your desk or in your bedside table and you’ll always be ready to treat yourself. And take your time – afterall YOU know the bits you like.

6. Connect with your inner child – Do a handstand or a cartwheel – this isn’t going to work indoors but if you’re wearing trousers there’s no reason why you can’t do it in the park on your way to meet your date. And while you’re there have a go on the slide too (not a good option if you’re wearing white and its probably a good idea to make sure the ramp is clean before you slide).

7. Go somewhere private and be as unbelievably angry as you possibly can and try to stay angry – you’ll find that 9 times out of 10 you won’t be able to sustain it. The idea is not to get all worked up and then go and spray your anger at your date. It’s about getting it all out and then dealing with whatever situation needs addressing. In order to do this you need to make sure that you don’t leave your private space until you feel like your anger has all gone. We hear so much about anger management when it’s not really about managing it, but rather letting it out. Just remember the golden rule: its OK to get angry but its not OK to take it out on someone or something else.

8. Read fiction – almost everyone agrees that fiction is a wonderful escape from the day to day. There’s nothing quite like stepping out of your own life and into the lives of the characters in a good story. And a good short story is just the thing for a 15 minute chillout session. Don’t know where to start? Check out www.espressofiction.com for some cool fiction that can be sent to you by email each week.

Hope these tips work for you on your next date. You might even find you enjoy it!

How to relax before a date

by Anna Nash

One of the most common pieces of dating advice is to ‘just relax and be yourself’, and we agree! Other people can sense our inner tensions, and it can make it more difficult to form a meaningful connection. But ‘just relaxing’ before a date is easier said than done, especially if you don’t know your companion very well. There is no single technique that can calm everybody down, but by paying attention to yourself, it’s possible to figure out a pre-date ritual that will work for you.

There are lots of broad things to get anxious about before a date, both in the immediate and longer term: What if they don’t like you? What if you embarrass yourself? What if they do like you and you have to turn them down? What if you fall in love with one another and then it turns out you’re a cat person and they’re a dog person and you are star-crossed lovers, fated to never be together.

Sometimes we can’t help these feelings floating around our heads, but it’s important not to focus on them.

The key is to pinpoint what small, controllable things make you especially anxious and what small, controllable things make you relaxed, or at least can distract you from your thoughts. By combining these pieces of knowledge, you can create a pre-date ritual that will put you in a more comfortable, ready-to-have-fun headspace.

Our Senior Matchmaker, Katja, loves to travel, so if she’s feeling nervous about a date, she imagines that the restaurant she is walking into is a restaurant in Paris, or that the stairs are the stairs of an aeroplane, and that she is on a lovely adventure!

I like to read and I really hate being late, so if I have an appointment that will stress me out, I figure out exactly where I’m going the night before, I organise myself so that I will arrive around 15 minutes early, and I sit and read while I’m waiting to help cool my nerves.

You might have a favourite comedian or song or radio show. Putting it on in your car could be a good way of getting out of your head as you approach the restaurant.

You might have dietary requirements and get flustered trying to order a meal that will work for you. Looking up the menu, or calling ahead to check they can cater to your needs, might be a nice way to pre-empt those concerns.

These rituals don’t address the broader, existential anxieties that a date can trigger (and nothing will), but they can push those thoughts to the back of your mind and make it easier to get into what should be a fun evening, regardless of your eventual fate together.

So you haven’t been out on a date in awhile and you’re nervous that you’ll do or say the wrong thing. Or perhaps your last date was such a disaster that it should have had a rating 5 on the weather channel. Getting nervous before a date is understandable. Will they be attracted to you? Are you both on the same wavelength? Will you be able to control your mouth from saying something your brain knows is stupid?

Mistakes usually occur when stress levels are high. And lets face it dating is a stressful endeavour. The best thing you can do before a date isrelaxI know that is easier said than done but here are 8 easy ways to chillout before your dates arrives so that you actually have a good time on your date without any jittery mis-steps.

1. Meditate or if that sounds too mystical just close your eyes and focus on your breathing, feel it as it goes in and feel it go out. Can you feel it flow through your nostrils into your lungs? Does your stomach expand too? If it does then you know your breathing deeply and you’ll get the most benefit from the activity. See if you can focus on the pause between breaths and that between an.

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All of which have to do with understanding that all the pressure’s on him (or so it’s fun to believe).

Remember the following bits of information, should you find yourself hyperventilating while waiting at the bar for some dude to walk in the door for the first time.

  1. In theory, you don’t have to make a single decision

Where to go, what to order, how to get there, whether or not to go in for the first kiss — all that is stuff the man has to be prepared to decide if his date so chooses

  1. He’s more worried about his hair than you are

Embarrassing truth: men are bigger freaks about their hair than women are. If it’s an hour before your date, rest assured he’s preparing his pomade in a special pomade-warmer.

  1. He’s not even allowed to talk to his friends about how nervous he is

It’s funny, not even the most in-touch-with-their-feminine-side guys I know would ever call their pals so they could be talked down from full pre-date freak-out.

  1. He’s just now realizing he doesn’t actually own a cool pair of shoes

It’s not until moments before a first date that we realize that we dress like complete tools. There should be some ten minute, pre-date shoe and belt delivery service.

  1. You’re about to have a drink with a nervous thirteen year-old boy

No matter how steely the exterior, somewhere deep (and hopefully not too deep) inside is a middle-schooler whose voice just changed.

Meanwhile, check out Joanna on the 10 first date commandments.

What do you freak out about before a first date? What calms you down?

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It is a perfectly natural feeling to be nervous before a date. It happens because of anticipation building up within you and your adrenaline glands pumping leading you to have a knot in your stomach and in some cases get the shakes. If this happens to you regularly or just happens once in a while when you have a big date to prepare for then do not worry I am here to give you some helpful relaxation tips so that you can be on your top game on the date.

To start with here are a few important things you should avoid doing to get over your nervousness:

1) Do not have a drink to calm your nerves. Drinking will affect your reasoning abilities and will seriously affect your status during the date.

2) Try not to over think your date. Over thinking what you think will happen on your date will just lead you to become more nervous, but on the other hand try not to under think your date you still need to be prepared!

Now we have gotten the slip ups out of the way let me tell you the single best thing you can do before a big date:

Go for a 30 minute jog around the block

That’s right go for a 30 minute jog. If you do this it will take away all that excess energy you have coursing its way around your body and release it in a more productive way, leaving you calm and relaxed to go on your date.

Remember that confidence plays a huge role in picking up women, if you are not confident that you can pick up any woman you want then she will pick up on it and will not be interested!

With this is mind I highly recommend you try Seducing Expert [http://seducingexpertblog.com/become-a-seducing-expert/]. This revolutionary new guide gives you expert guidance on picking up women, while at the same time gives you the resources to give your confidence a mighty boost as well!

To learn more about Seducing Expert and about how you can finally pick up any woman you desire then check out my blog at Kiersten’s Seduction Blog.