Men are picky when it comes to dating. If you are single and out there dating, I am sure you are very aware of just how choosy men are. Women are particular too, but somehow the men seem to be worse. Usually, men have an idea in their head of a type of gal to whom they are attracted, and either you fit the mold or you don’t. However, occasionally a man will fall for a girl who is outside of his wheelhouse. Wouldn’t it be great if you could be that woman who could attract ANY GUY (within reason of course)?
Here are 10 tips to get you on your way:
Be a flirtatious woman. Men love when a woman is a good flirt — not cheesy, not sleazy, just fun. Learn how to “smeyes” — smile with your eyes. The guys love that and will love you.
Be sexy. Men love women who are sexy and who KNOW they are sexy. The word sexy has no real definition these days — the key ingredient is that you FEEL sexy and then he senses it and thinks you are H-O-T, hot.
Be feminine. Keep in mind that if a man wanted to be with a man, he would be. So be girly, be feminine, be a woman. What does that mean? Smell good, cook him a meal once in a while, mother him when he needs it — find the cavewoman in you.
Be the woman all his friends are lusting after and who lights up the room with your smile. It’s a fact; if all of his friends are “ooohing and ahhing” over you, he will be attracted to you all the more.
Be confident. Men love ladies who have that “je ne sais quoi,“ that little intangible confidence that make them untouchable, yet so desirable all at once.
Be adaptable in any situation. Men want you to fit in at a fancy party, with beer and pizza on sports night and at a boring work function. And, he wants you to do it with ease and with no complaining. If you think that men fall in love with the “hard to get” women, think again. Not in today’s world. Today men really fall for easy-going gals who can go with the flow.
Be a woman who makes him feel great about himself and makes him feel needed. Men love the girls who play to their ego and make them feel like Superman. If a guy doesn’t understand how he is needed in your life, he won’t fall in love with you.
Be the woman who encourages a guy’s night out. A woman who, not only allow a guy’s night out, but also insists on it is a rockstar to any guy. The catch is that you have to really mean it. And if you do, he will be thinking about you the whole time he is out and won’t even notice the other girls around him.
Be a woman with interesting things going on. Men love a woman who has her own life with fun and different things happening. No man wants a girl who is always sitting at home waiting for him or a woman who needs him to provide 100 percent of the fun.
Be intelligent, but not a know-it-all. Men like women who have it together and who won’t embarrass them in a conversation; they like women who know something about a lot of different things. It doesn’t have to be politics and sports, it just has to be something you are passionate about and truly understand. And they hate know-it-alls; drop that quality immediately.
Yes, it will fit.
Here’s some fun phallus trivia for you: The average erect penis clocks in at 5.2 inches long and 4.6 inches in diameter, according to a study of more than 15,000 men. But when it comes to variations in penis length and width, most women can agree that size doesn’t matter—what’s more important is whether a guy can work what he’s got.
A few exceptions to this rule, however, might be valid. One is if a man has what’s medically known as a micropenis, a rare condition Health has explored before. The other is if a guy’s penis is really, really big.
The latter is something that can be intimidating to many women, who worry about whether an XXL member will fit, if it’ll feel good, and if sex can still be pleasurable. And while the answers to the three questions above are yes (think about it, a baby comes out of there), yes, and hell yeah, there are a few things to know before you hit the sheets with a well-endowed dude. Read on for an ob-gyn’s advice on making the action super enjoyable.
Start with lots of foreplay
Sure you might be in the mood and feel ready to hit the bedroom for the main event. But if your vagina is not fully aroused, penetration can feel a little rough and lead to soreness. That may result in tiny tears at the entrance to the vagina that definitely won’t feel good and can even be a conduit for infection.
During arousal, the vagina naturally elongates and becomes more flexible, enough to accommodate pretty much any size penis. So let those changes happen with lots of kissing, touching, and oral sex moves that will prime you for intercourse. ”You will be much better able to deal with a larger penis if you’re very well stimulated,” Jennifer Landa, MD, an ob-gyn and chief medical officer at BodyLogicMD in Orlando, Florida, tells Health.
Keep a lubricant at your bedside
Even if you have no problem getting wet during arousal, it can’t hurt to supplement your natural moisture with the store-bought stuff. “Lubrication obviously helps to decrease friction,” says Dr. Landa. She recommends looking into a lubricant that is hypoallergenic and natural, or with as few artificial ingredients as possible. Make sure it’s not petroleum-based, which can degrade the latex in your partner’s condom and potentially put you at risk of infection or pregnancy.
“One of my favorite natural lubricants is extra virgin coconut oil. It is moisturizing and lubricating and doesn’t ball up like a lot of lubes you can buy,” she says.
Make sure his condom fits
“One of the main things to think of with a larger penis and condoms is the fact that not all condoms will fit him well,” says Dr. Landa. “You certainly don’t want to make his penis feel ‘choked’ and you also want to make sure the condom works well.” Since it’s his penis, he should know what brand and size fits him properly so it doesn’t tear or feel too tight. But it can’t hurt to keep a stash of XL size condoms on hand that he can choose from, so you know for sure you’re both protected.
Stick to positions that put you in charge
“The positions that work the best are the ones where the woman can be on top and control the action,” says Dr. Landa. “Woman on top facing towards her man seems to be one of the best because she can control how much or how little of his penis she is ready to take inside.” Reverse cowgirl can work, too.
Beyond woman on top, experiment with missionary and side-by-side sex. “For missionary, you can try putting both of your legs inside of his. This will provide clitoral stimulation and prevent him from going too deep,” she says. Side by side, or spooning, also prevents his penis from going too deep, she adds.
Go with this doggy style variation
No disrespect to doggy style, but of all the main sex positions, this is the one that offers the deepest penetration. That can be a little too much for some women whose partners are very well-endowed, explains Dr. Landa.
Traditional doggy style, when a woman’s hips are raised on a pillow and her legs are spread far apart, lets a guy go especially deep, she says, and it puts him in control of the depth and pacing. “If you want to do doggy style, it’s important to close your legs together pretty well to prevent him from going as deep as he might otherwise,” she suggests. Or ask him to stay still and let you use your hips to direct the action.
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We took this one to the experts.
Most of us learn about sex through a heterosexual lens, one that revolves around a penis entering a vagina. If you’ve ever wondered how lesbians have sex, the first thing you need to do is throw any preconceived notions out the window. “What society makes up about lesbian sex is rarely how it’s actualized,” Shelby Sells, certified sex and life coach and resident sex expert at WOO More Play, tells Health. Basically, lesbian sex doesn’t really differ all that much from sex between two heterosexual people—at least not in the ways that matter.
“Lesbian sex” is kind of a misnomer
It’s important to understand that lesbian sex doesn’t necessarily happen between two cisgender women who identify as lesbians. In fact, “lesbian sex” is considered by some to be an outdated term for sex between two female-identified people, which could be two cis-women, one cis-woman and one trans woman, or two trans women.
“All of this (and more) is ‘lesbian’ sex,” certified sex coach, sexologist, and SKYN sex and intimacy expert Gigi Engle tells Health. “There is gray area here and a lot of debate is still in flux around these issues.” Still, she acknowledges that there’s an argument to be made that lesbian sex is only lesbian sex if it’s between two people who consider themselves lesbians.
Sells adds that gender and sexuality exist on a spectrum, and what is most important is the intention behind the sexual connection, not the gender or sex you were assigned at birth. “It is possible to identify as a woman and not have a vagina,” she says. “Our genitalia does not define or confine us to our identities. Sex between two women, womxn, or femmes can look a variety of different ways.”
Myths about lesbian sex
Many people view lesbian sex the way it’s been manufactured by the mainstream porn industry. “I feel that most lesbian sex has been marketed and consumed through the lens of the male gaze, which ends up looking like two women scissoring [when a woman rubs her vulva against another woman’s body for sexual stimulation],” Sells says. Yes, some people enjoy this, but others don’t get any pleasure from it.
“Another myth is that there are always ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ gender roles in a lesbian relationship (i.e. a butch and a femme),” Sells says. Some people believe that one person has to take the role of “the man” in sexual activity, doing all the penetration while the other person receives. Again, this is the preference for some couples, but definitely not all of them.
Some people also dismiss lesbian sex as not “real” sex because they don’t think penetration is possible. First of all, penetration is not required for sex to be “real,” whatever that means. Second, sex between two women can certainly involve vaginal and/or anal penetration: with fingers, tongues, vibrators, and other types of sex toys, like a strap-on.
So what are some ways lesbians do have sex?
Of course, everyone prefers a different type of touch and stimulation, and lesbian sex encompasses an enormous range of possibilities. Some partners enjoy deep kissing and cuddling, others pleasure each other via oral sex using tongues, mouths, and lips. Again, lesbian sex can be about penetration. Other things that may be part of lesbian sex include fingering, clitoral play, anal play, fisting, breast and nipple play, using sex toys, and genital rubbing.
Some people experiment with bondage and domination as well as positions that require a lot of flexibility, such as scissoring or 69. Lesbian sex can be rough and fast-paced or slow and soft. There’s a huge variety of styles and moves, and every couple can do it and define it in any way they want.
What are some tips for having lesbian sex?
The best tip is to ask your partner what feels good for them. “If they aren’t sure, ask if they’re open to exploring pleasure mapping with you,” Sells suggests. (This is when you spend time exploring the “pleasure spots” of both your bodies to find out where—and how—you like to be touched.) “It’s better to communicate than to assume,” she says. “One technique does not fit all!”
But when in doubt, the clitoris is the center of everything. “The clitoris is the center of the female orgasm,” Engle explains. “The vast majority of female orgasms are clitoris-based in some fashion. The external clitoral glans—that little nubbin you see at the top of the labia—has more than 8,000 nerve endings.”
Remember that people find pleasure in different ways (and places!), so try to keep an open mind. “Creating an environment that is safe and comfortable allows so much space for sexual exploration and possibility,” Sells says.
Consent is crucial
This goes for any first sexual experience, whatever body parts are—or aren’t—involved. “Be sure to ask for consent before you touch, lick, stick, spit, bite, or suck on anything,” Sells says. This ticks another important box. “Communication is key and it’s also very sexy,” she adds. So take the time to ask your sexual partner what feels good for them, and show them what feels good for you.
Are there any dangers to lesbian sex?
The one risk to know about is the same risk that affects sex between heterosexual partners as well: STIs. Lesbian sex can transmit STIs either though skin-on-skin contact (HPV, herpes) or by sharing body fluids (chlamydia and gonorrhea, among others), even if there’s no penis in the picture. Because HPV is possible, it’s important to get regular Pap tests and/or the HPV vaccine to protect against cervical cancer, which is caused by HPV.
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Copy and paste, baby.
Sexting is, no doubt, an art of the 21st century.
Not only is it a spicy way to connect on another level with your partner, but it also boosts trust, says psychotherapist and sex therapist Pia Holec, PsyD . “We’re communicating about what we want to do to one another,” she says.
But if you’ve ever sent a sext that felt so embarrassing or feel like you need to be a sex goddess to even partake, you may have thrown out the idea with your old flip phone.
“There’s a fear sexting will be awkward, or you’ll have to create a certain environment you’re not used to,” Holec says. “That builds to an, ‘Oh my gosh, what am I going to sound like?’” Nope, there’s no need to think up some X-rated smut if that’s not your thing. Instead, use language you already use to flirt and tease your partner. If you’re struggling with a prompt, Holec suggests drawing from past memories or where you like to be touched (by yourself or a partner), and setting the mood from there.
Remember: “Sexting is all the things,” sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW says. Think pictures (sans face JIC), porn clips, voice notes, erotica, etc. Or, you can give your partner positive affirmations or talk about a new toy you’re about to take for a spin.
But, before you hit send on a steamy sext, ask your partner if this is even a thing they want to do, Howard says. Outline your boundaries. Maybe photos are cool, but texts about group sex aren’t. And if the conversation feels uncomfy at any time, an established safe word (like the one you use in the bedroom) can come in handy here too, Holec says.
Sometimes sexting is more about creating and teasing a fantasy rather than an orgasm, sexpert and Sweet Vibes spokesperson Tyomi Morgan says. And while it can be super hot to put those sexts into action the next time you see your partner, Howard says you can sext just to enjoy the eroticism, too.
Whether you’re a newbie who wants to learn how to sext your partner or a seasoned pro who wants to surprise your special someone with some new
, these expert-recommended sexts will help you nail the digital dirty talk your way.
Here’s why the hardware might be incompatible.
Considering that the vagina is designed to stretch so much that another human can pass through it, you’d think it could easily fit any size erect penis. At rest, the vaginal canal measures 3.7 inches long, on average. But when you’re sexually aroused, it elongates, lubricates, and expands—so even sex with an XL guy is slippery and comfy.
But as it turns out, sometimes a penis can be too big to fit inside a vagina.
“It’s a very rare situation, [but] there are some men that are so endowed it makes certain positions difficult or painful,” Christine Greves, ob-gyn at the center for obstetrics and gynecology at Orlando Health, tells Health. The average erect penis comes in at 5.1 inches, but even a man who is a couple of inches larger can be hard to, well, accommodate. (For the record, the largest erect penis clocks in at more than 13 inches. yikes.)
Another penis-vagina fit issue has to do with a woman’s age. In your 20s, 30s, and 40s, your estrogen levels are naturally high, which keeps vaginal tissue supple. That makes the vagina pretty expandable and less sensitive, says Dr. Greves.
But once you hit menopause, your body’s estrogen output takes a dive. With less natural lubrication, an average or larger penis might have a tough time time fitting in without causing pain and friction for both the man and the woman.
It’s also possible that just as some penises are on the small side, some vaginas might be, too. An exceptionally large penis, then, would be a mismatch for a small vagina. “Some vaginas are larger than others. so I would think it’s based on an individual basis,” said Dr. Greves.
Okay, what are you supposed to if your v isn’t comfortably accommodating his p? Extra foreplay can help; the more aroused you are, the more lubrication your body can produce, which can make things slippery and stretchy. Store-bought lube is also a good idea.
Stick to sex positions that put you in control, like woman on top or reverse cowgirl. When you’re in charge of the depth and speed, he won’t be able to go so deep or thrust so fast that it doesn’t feel good. Positions that keep your legs wide can also help, since that can elongate the vagina.
If the problem stems from menopause, “what I recommend for my post-estrogen women is an estrogen cream and a vaginal dilator. Try to get a dilator similar to the size of the man. And with lubrication, you could see if that could accommodate [the penis],” Dr. Greves says. If you’ve tried several tactics but nothing seems to work, it can’t hurt to check in with your ob-gyn, she advises.
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Congratulations on taking a forward step to get in shape and feel great. Many people are guilty of wishing they could get a sculpted body from eating junk food and watching TV all day. But that is just not going to happen. Even though getting in shape sounds like a long, time-wasting process, the effort put towards being in shape has many positive effects. If you want to start your journey to having a better body to feel great, here are some tips:
1. Exercise Daily
Exercise daily for at least an hour. You do not have to kill yourself from running, jogging, etc., but you should have some sort of moderate physical activity in your everyday life. If you’re looking to shed a few pounds fast, do a higher-level intensity workout. For example, go on a walk at a brisk pace for an hour. Or, you can jog and set certain intervals to sprint during that hour. Make sure you’re not in severe pain during your workout. Just a warning, your muscles will ache after a high intensity workout. It may be irritating, but that means your body is changing for the better. Be sure to stay hydrated, stretch, and eat foods with a decent amount of protein after each workout. The protein will help keep your muscles, not fat, rebuilding.
2. Eat the Right Foods and Portion Each Meal
No matter how bad your stomach is telling you to go for candy over healthy food, try to stay away from sweets. Sugar from candy will not help you get in shape. Even if it’s just a single candy bar, one will eventually lead to another. Fruits and vegetables are the best thing to eat when getting into shape. Apples, for example, do a good job at making the stomach feel full for up to 3 to 4 hours. Green vegetables such as green beans and broccoli keep the digestive system clean and running.
Also, stick to lean meats like turkey and chicken. Seafood, such as, shrimp, and tilapia are also great alternatives. These foods are full of protein and healthy nutrients to help keep muscles fit and ready for workouts. In addition, be sure to portion what you eat. Having a good metabolism comes from portioning meals. Try to plan out eating six times a day and setting smaller portions, rather than having three large meals throughout the day. This will also help you find yourself breathing smoother when working out rather than huffing and puffing for air. This is because you will have less food in your digestive system, which means more energy is used toward your exercise.
3. Keep Track of Calories and Food Intake Per Day
Keeping track of how many calories you eat in a day will be helpful in planning out your physical exercising. Ever wonder why body builders’ body masses are so big? That’s because they plan out their meals and take in more (healthy) calories than the average person. On the other hand, losing weight and striving for a skinnier physique will involve more physical exercise than calories you ingest.
4. Be Sure to Get Sleep
Even though most of us have eight-hour jobs during the day or night, it is crucial to get enough sleep to recharge the body’s batteries. Six to eight hours of sleep will keep the body going throughout the day, but if you happen to feel tired at any point after coming home from work, by all means take a small nap before exercising. You should only nap for about a half hour. This will prevent you from staying up later in the night.
5. Stay Motivated
An important key to being in shape is to set goals and keep a positive mindset. If you stay positive, you will be able to push yourself to get that fit body you’ve always wanted.
Erie Cross Training Examiner Kyle Melerski, a music technology student at Capital University, is on the rise by using his creative writing skills to inform and entertain people.
If you want better sex, it’s time to learn some new bedroom tricks.
Hey, it’s okay to ask. We should all be doing whatever it takes to get more pleasure for ourselves and our partner (or partners) during sex. No one has the time these days to waste, so we’ll make it easy for you. Want to know how to last longer in bed? We’ve got easy advice on how to tack on minutes. Looking to add some new moves to your routine? Try reverse cowgirl, rimming, or even tantric sex on for size. In this collection of the best sex positions and advice, you’ll find tips and tricks, ideas, and expert intel on pulling off better sex moves. Take notes and study hard; your new and improved sex life begins now.
1. Reverse Cowgirl Position
It’s very stimulating for her. Here’s how to do it.
There’s quite a concentration of nerves back there, so give anilingus a shot.
How to correctly use the horniest emoji: flag up mailbox.
4. Dick Pics
There are two types of dick pics every guy should be able to take.
5. Open Relationships
A beginner’s guide to being non-monogamous without being a jerk.
6. Sex Apps
Everything to know about sex and dating apps before jumping in bed with a stranger.
There are four ways to do it well. Because you can’t skip this step.
8. DIY Sex Toys
Your house is full of things just waiting to become sex toys.
9. Sex Games
These are a whole lot sexier than “Truth or Dare.”
10. Condom Sizes
A brief guide to choosing the right one. Grab a toilet paper roll.
11. Dirty Talk
It’s not just what you say, it’s how (and when) you say it.
12. Lasting Longer
A four-step guide to maintaining control during sex.
13. Breathing for Better Sex
Get over nerves and fear so you can both enjoy the experience even more.
14. A Workout Plan for Better Sex
If you feel strong and flexible, it will show in the bedroom.
15. Sex Toys for Men
Enhance your pleasure with these devices, for yourself, or for you and your partner.
16. What Women Want
Remember these eleven things that she expects from you.
17. Average Sex Time
It’s not as long as you’d think, according to science.
18. Tantric Sex
You could have four or five orgasms. She could have twelve.
19. Tea Bagging
Tea bagging is a sexual kink, and a darn good one at that.
20. Shower Sex
How to have it without slipping and fumbling all over the place.
21. Oral Sex
Tips for giving and receiving it correctly.
Keep things interesting by spicing up your pre-sex practices.
23. G-Spot Stimulation
How to find her G-spot, and her cul-de-sac.
24. Couples Porn
You and your partner should be watching porn together. It doesn’t have to be weird.
25. Best and Worst Kinds of Sex
From breakup sex to mile high sex, here’s the rundown on all the ways to do it.
26. Healthy Sex
In case you needed more convincing, there are nine reasons having sex is good for you.
Harper’s Bazaar: How did you get into fitness?
Simone De La Rue: I danced all my life and accidentally fell into fitness. I trained in classical ballet from the age of 3 and worked professionally for 16 years — I did the West End in London and Broadway here in New York. And it happens that one of the shows I was supposed to be doing was canceled two days before we were supposed to start rehearsals. And that was supposed to be a year-long contract. I had been working in fitness on the side at the time and it also happened to be the start of everyone’s obsession with wanting to have a dancer’s body — it was The Black Swan era.
HB: So how do you get a dancer’s body?
SDLR: The typical way to get a dancers body is… dance! It’s because dance is a total body workout. You are not sitting on a bike and cycling or running or weight training. The idea is the body is long and lean and never at rest, just really burning calories. It’s fluid, liquid-like movement, and it’s continuous. I developed my technique, Body by Simone, over years of being a professional dancer. You do 8 shows a week, and it gets quite strenuous on the body and repetitive. So before a show, you have half an hour on the stage where you can warm up. And that is where I created my BBS warm up that I used over the years to protect my body from injury. I kind of combined little bits of it into what is now my signature cardio dance routines.
HB: Growing up as a professional dancer did you always find that the industry had a relatively healthy body image?
SDLR: No, it is tough, especially for me since I grew up in classical ballet. I’m lucky I never had an eating disorder. Some of my friends did. That is why I took a detour to musicals, they are a little more accepting of different shapes. I’ve got really broad shoulders and I still remember the day when I was 16 and the ballet school didn’t even let me dance, it was like being a model, they just made me stand there and turn, turn, turn, while they judged me.
HB: Can you explain the BBS method further and why it works so well.
SDLR: The classes we offer complement each other. It is basically 45 minutes to an hour of dance cardio and the other hour is just strictly toning. Obviously people don’t have 2 hours a day to work out, so we also do some classes that are 45 minute body blasts. You need at least 20 minutes of cardio a day, I think. It used to be you were supposed to do 30 minutes straight and now scientific research has said short 10 minute bursts tend to work better. So you do like 10 minutes of cardio, sculpting and arms, then more cardio. Plus, it goes faster.
HB: Any recommendations for nutrition, any hard fast rules?
SDLR: I think fitness is 80% diet, 20% exercise, which as someone in my field I should be saying 80% exercise, but it really is about what you eat. Obviously the exercise will complement that, and you will see faster results and quicker weight loss with BBS, but it really is about what you are putting into your body. I try to keep the amount of alcohol down as much as possible can. We are going to have a cafe in our studio called Hu Kitchen, and it is based on the Paleo diet, so no grain, no dairy, no gluten, hardly any sugar or starch. It’s a lot of vegetables and protein. For me that is what works best — a very heavy protein diet, I don’t have many carbs at all.
HB: Any superfoods you swear by?
SDLR: I’m obsessed with kale. And I love turkey. Other than that I just try to remember my green juice.
HB: Any plans for more BBS studios?
SDLR: We are definitely going to open up this year in LA. We have also been looking at a space on the Upper East Side. For now, we have BBS-TV, which is like online streaming. It’s a monthly subscription, like Netflix, and you have access to all of the videos. We have 25 videos on there at the moment, you can do 45 minutes of dance cardio, we have 5 different options of that. There is also a trampoline workout and a jump rope cardio for people who don’t want to dance. If you have 10 minutes we have arms. There are abs, and legs, full body blast, and even a couples workout.
HB: Where do you find your instructors?
SDLR: Everyone at BBS is a professional dancer. Three of my head trainers I have known for 15 years. We worked together on musicals in Australia, and London and here.
HB: What about music and fashion, any workout faves?
SDLR: I’m obsessed with the new Florence and the Machine and Bruno Mars — in cardio you need 132 beats per minute to get the heart rate up. I’m also obsessed with Newton shoes. I call it an old man’s triathlon shoe. I love them because they are so light, they don’t smell, they breathe and come in really fun colors. I’m also in the process of doing my own workout line, because I’m wearing it all day long and I think a lot of the stuff out there is quite generic and I want to make it more funky, more street.