How to get rid of annoying people

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How to get rid of annoying people

There are two kinds of annoying people: he who is annoying but does not know he is annoying, and he who knows but does not care. The latter is the worst, of course, but annoying people, no matter which type, are tiring. Annoying people are not easy to get rid of, which is partly why they are so annoying. However, there are some actions you can take to get rid of those annoying people in your life.

Step 1

How to get rid of annoying people

Determine if the annoying person cares that he is annoying. You should find this out because you should handle men or women who do not care that they are annoying differently from people who are oblivious to their own annoying qualities. Ask him if he realizes he is being annoying. Those who do not care will laugh or will just continue the annoying behavior. Those who do care will express unhappiness at the question.

Step 2

How to get rid of annoying people

Ignore the annoying person. This works especially well for the type who is annoying just to get a reaction from others. If the annoying person does not get a reaction from you, eventually he will grow bored and find someone else to annoy. No one likes it when someone ignores him. Therefore, if you ignore an annoying person, you will get rid of him.

Step 3

How to get rid of annoying people

Find out the annoying person’s weaknesses or dislikes. You accomplish this by asking his coworkers or by observing the annoying person. For example, if flatulence disgusts him, make sure to pass gas (or pretend to) whenever he is near. If he hates the smell of popcorn or a certain kind of perfume, keep an open bag of popcorn on your desk, or wear the perfume he hates.

Step 4

How to get rid of annoying people

Feign a contagious illness. No one, not even annoying people, want to be around someone who has a contagious disease. This will not work long-term but should deter the annoying person for at least a few days while you plan another course of action.

Step 5

How to get rid of annoying people

Make yourself unattractive to him. This works best on the clingy annoying type who won’t take your hint to scram. Pick your nose, chew with your mouth open, scratch your butt, belch loudly, cough without covering your mouth and be generally rude and disgusting.

Step 6

How to get rid of annoying people

Tell the annoying person to go away and leave you alone. If, after following the other steps, the annoying person is still bugging you, you will have to get very serious. Your tone should be firm so that he knows you are not joking. Have a witness present when you take this step, in case things get ugly. If the annoying person continues to bother you after this, he is not just annoying you, he is harassing you.

Turning down the flame when your blood boils.

On my recent flight from Germany to the US, the man in front of me was so large that when he lay back in his chair, his head was practically in my lap. Not only could I barely open my computer to work, I had to do some maneuvering to eat my meal.

The flight attendant agreed that something was wrong with the chair and brought this to his attention. He said, “Too bad for her.”

The ongoing encounters with jerks are never-ending. It seems that the more people hide their heads in their phones, computers and personal space, the more insensitive everyone becomes, even those of us trying to be nice.

Unfortunately, the more I find myself feeling negative and angry, the more irritated I get with every jerk I encounter. Then I don’t extend warm and welcoming energy to the other people around me either.

Would you like to help put a stop to this vicious cycle? Here are seven tips for preserving your peace of mind when you encounter insensitive and rude people:

  • Accept that being quiet does not mean being weak. You don’t always need to stand up for yourself especially if there is nothing you can do about a petty situation. Pick your battles wisely. Fighting the good fight needs more of your energy than the minor conflicts.
  • Consider how silencing your reaction might shift the mind of the difficult person. Often people who react negatively regret their behavior when they calm down. But if you counter with negative energy, they are more likely stick to their story and justify their jerkiness. If instead you surprise them by shifting your attention elsewhere, you remove energy from the fight. They might give in once their ego is no longer involved.
  • Manage your non-verbal behavior. If you are going to stay out of the fight, don’t roll your eyes, mutter under your breath or make an ugly face as you turn away. You are still sparking the fire with your gestures.
  • The best thing to do is take a big breath, let it out slowly and focus on breathing comfortably. You are strong when you control your reactions. The disrespect the person is showing has nothing to do with you personally.
  • Choose one word to anchor your mind until the need to react passes. Choose “compassion” or “tolerance” for the person who obviously is not happy. Choose “calm” for your own peace of mind. Say it over and over like a mantra until you feel the word flow through your body.
  • Think more broadly. What will this matter tonight, tomorrow or into the future? What is more important to you, getting the last word in or living a long, healthy and somewhat peaceful life? Your health has more value than one-upping a jerk. Consciously and deliberately choose your reaction. This is your power. Don’t give it away.
  • Regularly rest and rejuvenate. The more emotionally balanced you are, the less the jerks will trigger you.

There will be times you need to stand up for yourself. If you feel your reputation is at stake, or your soul needs you to speak your truth, please do so. But if reacting to a rude person is a waste of time, let it go. Not only do you increase your professionalism, you get better and better at balancing your energies.

Turning down the flame when your blood boils.

On my recent flight from Germany to the US, the man in front of me was so large that when he lay back in his chair, his head was practically in my lap. Not only could I barely open my computer to work, I had to do some maneuvering to eat my meal.

The flight attendant agreed that something was wrong with the chair and brought this to his attention. He said, “Too bad for her.”

The ongoing encounters with jerks are never-ending. It seems that the more people hide their heads in their phones, computers and personal space, the more insensitive everyone becomes, even those of us trying to be nice.

Unfortunately, the more I find myself feeling negative and angry, the more irritated I get with every jerk I encounter. Then I don’t extend warm and welcoming energy to the other people around me either.

Would you like to help put a stop to this vicious cycle? Here are seven tips for preserving your peace of mind when you encounter insensitive and rude people:

  • Accept that being quiet does not mean being weak. You don’t always need to stand up for yourself especially if there is nothing you can do about a petty situation. Pick your battles wisely. Fighting the good fight needs more of your energy than the minor conflicts.
  • Consider how silencing your reaction might shift the mind of the difficult person. Often people who react negatively regret their behavior when they calm down. But if you counter with negative energy, they are more likely stick to their story and justify their jerkiness. If instead you surprise them by shifting your attention elsewhere, you remove energy from the fight. They might give in once their ego is no longer involved.
  • Manage your non-verbal behavior. If you are going to stay out of the fight, don’t roll your eyes, mutter under your breath or make an ugly face as you turn away. You are still sparking the fire with your gestures.
  • The best thing to do is take a big breath, let it out slowly and focus on breathing comfortably. You are strong when you control your reactions. The disrespect the person is showing has nothing to do with you personally.
  • Choose one word to anchor your mind until the need to react passes. Choose “compassion” or “tolerance” for the person who obviously is not happy. Choose “calm” for your own peace of mind. Say it over and over like a mantra until you feel the word flow through your body.
  • Think more broadly. What will this matter tonight, tomorrow or into the future? What is more important to you, getting the last word in or living a long, healthy and somewhat peaceful life? Your health has more value than one-upping a jerk. Consciously and deliberately choose your reaction. This is your power. Don’t give it away.
  • Regularly rest and rejuvenate. The more emotionally balanced you are, the less the jerks will trigger you.

There will be times you need to stand up for yourself. If you feel your reputation is at stake, or your soul needs you to speak your truth, please do so. But if reacting to a rude person is a waste of time, let it go. Not only do you increase your professionalism, you get better and better at balancing your energies.

If I asked you to identify the biggest asshole in your life right now, how quickly would you be able to come up with a name? Some of us might be able to list three or four assholes with whom we interact on a daily basis, plus all of the anonymous assholes who cut us off in traffic, cut in front of us in line, and otherwise make our lives miserable.

I interviewed Robert Sutton, Stanford business professor and author of The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like Dirt, to learn how to identify an asshole, how to deal with assholes, and how to get rid of assholes when necessary.

How to identify an asshole

Want to know how to identify the assholes in your life? Start with your own emotional responses. “You have an asshole problem if you are dealing with somebody who leaves you feeling demeaned, de-energized, disrespected,” Sutton says. “Somebody who makes you feel like dirt.”

The problem is that sometimes our feelings can play tricks on us, and the meta-emotions surrounding issues of workplace and family hierarchy mean that we might be too quick to ascribe assholery to what might otherwise be called assertiveness or boundary-setting. (No, your kids aren’t assholes for not enthusiastically responding to your “how was your day?” interrogation every time they return from school—even though their unwillingness to talk might make you feel like dirt.)

Stop Asking Your Kid About Their Day

Don’t ask your kid what happened at school that day. Just don’t.

If you want to be sure that you’re dealing with a true asshole, look for clearly obnoxious behaviors, especially those that are intentionally demeaning or rude. Another good way to tell if someone is an asshole is to ask other people for confirmation: are they interpreting this person’s behavior in the same way you are?

Keep in mind that there’s a difference between a person who occasionally exhibits asshole behavior and a certified asshole. As Sutton explains: “All of us, under the wrong conditions, can be temporary assholes. Certified assholes are people who consistently make people feel like dirt over time.”

There’s also one more reason you might feel like you’re surrounded by assholes: you’re actually the asshole. “You’re treating people like dirt and they’re throwing the shit back,” says Sutton.

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How to deal with assholes

There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy for dealing with assholes. If the assholery is run-of-the-mill, non-abusive stuff (think line cutters, interrupters, those people who make every conversation about themselves or feel obligated to comment on every little thing you do), you might have to grin and bear it—literally.

“Reframe the situation,” Sutton advises, “so it doesn’t touch your soul and it doesn’t upset you quite so much.”

Sutton suggests taking one of five strategies:

  • Don’t take it personally.
  • Decide that you’re going to find the asshole hilarious. (It’s best to keep your amusement to yourself—which is also part of the fun.)
  • Create physical or emotional distance between yourself and the asshole. If you’re sharing a conference room with an asshole, sit as far away from them as possible. If one of your relatives is an asshole on social media, mute or unfollow them so you no longer see (or emotionally respond to) their posts.
  • Tell yourself you’re conducting a psychological study of assholery. Keep a tally of how many times your coworker interrupts someone, or how often your friend’s new significant other dominates the conversation.
  • Be nice to the asshole—as pleasant and unruffled as possible. Don’t react to or otherwise encourage their behavior.
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How to get rid of an asshole

If an asshole is abusive, or if they’re making so many people feel like dirt that it’s causing significant problems, it might be time to get rid of the asshole.

The first step in getting rid of an asshole, Sutton advises, is to consider how much power you have over them. Do you have the power to fire them? Can you stop inviting them to group events or family gatherings? Sometimes it’s relatively easy to remove an asshole from a situation—although it’s never easy to tell someone that they’re being laid off.

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  5. How to Ignore Nosy People

How to get rid of annoying people

People with anxious attachment styles can trigger avoidance behaviors in those who feel just fine not checking in with friends every five minutes. If you have friends and acquaintances who simply don’t give you the space you need, it may be time to limit or even discontinue contact with them. A person who has firmly glued herself in your space may be more difficult to get rid of than some, but if you send clear messages, you’ll soon be able to breathe.

Set Boundaries

If you’re tired of your friend sticking to your side like duct tape at every party and insisting that you invite her everywhere you go, you’ll need to curtail the behavior. Such people can be emotional vampires, and you may need to firmly state your limits and boundaries, says therapist Patrick Wanis, Ph.D. on his personal website. So don’t beat around the bush. Tell your friend that you’re willing to spend an evening every month hanging out — if you don’t want to completely eliminate her from your life — but that you have other interests you’d prefer to explore on your own.

Give the Brushoff

It takes two people for needy behavior to continue, says psychologist Lynne Namka in an article on her website, AngriesOut.com. If you continue to allow a clingy friend to stifle your life, you are adding to the problem. When the clingy person approaches you to once again attempt to engage you in a lengthy conversation about his latest project, excuse yourself and leave. Say, “It was nice seeing you. I’m eager to catch Steve and catch up with him before he leaves. Please excuse me.” With luck, enough subtle brushoffs will send the message that you don’t want to hang out with the person who sticks like glue.

Lay it on the Line

Unfortunately, clingy people are notorious for not understanding the indirect messages you send about your need for space. If this is the case with the needy person in your life, you may need to be direct, instead of indirect. Tell the clingy person, “When you call me every day, I feel as though I can’t breathe. It’s better if we don’t talk for a while.” While the person may be hurt, it is better to deal with this issue now than to allow it to drag out. You’ll have to address the problem sooner or later, and it’s best for both of you if it is resolved before your resentment of her demands on your time festers.

File a Restraining Order

Occasionally, clingy people can become a serious nuisance or even dangerous. If you have clearly asked the person to stop dropping by or calling and she continues to do so, you can file a restraining order at the courthouse. This is especially advisable if the person seems at all threatening. Once the paperwork has been submitted and the restraining order temporarily granted, the person will be served with papers and a hearing date will be set, according to the Family Violence Law Center website. Note that while you’ll need some documentation to get a restraining order, a police report is not necessary.

Turning down the flame when your blood boils.

On my recent flight from Germany to the US, the man in front of me was so large that when he lay back in his chair, his head was practically in my lap. Not only could I barely open my computer to work, I had to do some maneuvering to eat my meal.

The flight attendant agreed that something was wrong with the chair and brought this to his attention. He said, “Too bad for her.”

The ongoing encounters with jerks are never-ending. It seems that the more people hide their heads in their phones, computers and personal space, the more insensitive everyone becomes, even those of us trying to be nice.

Unfortunately, the more I find myself feeling negative and angry, the more irritated I get with every jerk I encounter. Then I don’t extend warm and welcoming energy to the other people around me either.

Would you like to help put a stop to this vicious cycle? Here are seven tips for preserving your peace of mind when you encounter insensitive and rude people:

  • Accept that being quiet does not mean being weak. You don’t always need to stand up for yourself especially if there is nothing you can do about a petty situation. Pick your battles wisely. Fighting the good fight needs more of your energy than the minor conflicts.
  • Consider how silencing your reaction might shift the mind of the difficult person. Often people who react negatively regret their behavior when they calm down. But if you counter with negative energy, they are more likely stick to their story and justify their jerkiness. If instead you surprise them by shifting your attention elsewhere, you remove energy from the fight. They might give in once their ego is no longer involved.
  • Manage your non-verbal behavior. If you are going to stay out of the fight, don’t roll your eyes, mutter under your breath or make an ugly face as you turn away. You are still sparking the fire with your gestures.
  • The best thing to do is take a big breath, let it out slowly and focus on breathing comfortably. You are strong when you control your reactions. The disrespect the person is showing has nothing to do with you personally.
  • Choose one word to anchor your mind until the need to react passes. Choose “compassion” or “tolerance” for the person who obviously is not happy. Choose “calm” for your own peace of mind. Say it over and over like a mantra until you feel the word flow through your body.
  • Think more broadly. What will this matter tonight, tomorrow or into the future? What is more important to you, getting the last word in or living a long, healthy and somewhat peaceful life? Your health has more value than one-upping a jerk. Consciously and deliberately choose your reaction. This is your power. Don’t give it away.
  • Regularly rest and rejuvenate. The more emotionally balanced you are, the less the jerks will trigger you.

There will be times you need to stand up for yourself. If you feel your reputation is at stake, or your soul needs you to speak your truth, please do so. But if reacting to a rude person is a waste of time, let it go. Not only do you increase your professionalism, you get better and better at balancing your energies.

  1. How to Deal With Domineering People
  2. How to Find a Female Friend
  3. How to Deal With a Codependent
  4. Signs of Insecurity in a Relationship
  5. How to Ignore Nosy People

How to get rid of annoying people

People with anxious attachment styles can trigger avoidance behaviors in those who feel just fine not checking in with friends every five minutes. If you have friends and acquaintances who simply don’t give you the space you need, it may be time to limit or even discontinue contact with them. A person who has firmly glued herself in your space may be more difficult to get rid of than some, but if you send clear messages, you’ll soon be able to breathe.

Set Boundaries

If you’re tired of your friend sticking to your side like duct tape at every party and insisting that you invite her everywhere you go, you’ll need to curtail the behavior. Such people can be emotional vampires, and you may need to firmly state your limits and boundaries, says therapist Patrick Wanis, Ph.D. on his personal website. So don’t beat around the bush. Tell your friend that you’re willing to spend an evening every month hanging out — if you don’t want to completely eliminate her from your life — but that you have other interests you’d prefer to explore on your own.

Give the Brushoff

It takes two people for needy behavior to continue, says psychologist Lynne Namka in an article on her website, AngriesOut.com. If you continue to allow a clingy friend to stifle your life, you are adding to the problem. When the clingy person approaches you to once again attempt to engage you in a lengthy conversation about his latest project, excuse yourself and leave. Say, “It was nice seeing you. I’m eager to catch Steve and catch up with him before he leaves. Please excuse me.” With luck, enough subtle brushoffs will send the message that you don’t want to hang out with the person who sticks like glue.

Lay it on the Line

Unfortunately, clingy people are notorious for not understanding the indirect messages you send about your need for space. If this is the case with the needy person in your life, you may need to be direct, instead of indirect. Tell the clingy person, “When you call me every day, I feel as though I can’t breathe. It’s better if we don’t talk for a while.” While the person may be hurt, it is better to deal with this issue now than to allow it to drag out. You’ll have to address the problem sooner or later, and it’s best for both of you if it is resolved before your resentment of her demands on your time festers.

File a Restraining Order

Occasionally, clingy people can become a serious nuisance or even dangerous. If you have clearly asked the person to stop dropping by or calling and she continues to do so, you can file a restraining order at the courthouse. This is especially advisable if the person seems at all threatening. Once the paperwork has been submitted and the restraining order temporarily granted, the person will be served with papers and a hearing date will be set, according to the Family Violence Law Center website. Note that while you’ll need some documentation to get a restraining order, a police report is not necessary.

How to get rid of annoying people

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At some point in your career, you’ll undoubtedly cross paths with colleagues that irk you. Maybe it’s the presumption that their opinions are the only correct ones on the planet or their blatant brown-nosing to get on the boss’ good side. Perhaps you can’t stand how their arrogance, moodiness or quick temper puts a damper on the company culture.

Difficult co-workers can high-jack your emotions. They trigger something in you that causes you to almost act or think irrationally , which is not exactly a healthy situation in which you can succeed. You may find that sooner or later your exasperation expands until every little thing that person does makes you want to tear your hair out.

Unfortunately, in the case of annoying co-workers, you can’t simply remove them from your life. Avoiding them around the office or circumventing one-on-one meetings probably won’t work either.

Fortunately, there’s a way to put a positive spin on the situation that stems from a counter-intuitive insight about dealing with difficult people. When we discern a quality in someone else that irks us, we can benefit from pausing to examine exactly why we have that reaction and look more closely at what it can teach us about ourselves.

The friction of interacting with an annoying co-worker actually presents a chance to cultivate essential leadership skills like assertiveness, self-awareness and confidence. It can provide an unexpected opportunity for personal growth that goes far beyond solely testing the limits of your patience.