How to settle internet drama

How to settle internet drama

We’re proud to report that there are two — yes, two — dick runners named Claire who are popular for using fitness tracking apps to jog out phallic routes for the internet. The issue? One insists she came first, and she’s calling for a “cease and dicksist.”

The two women have gained Instagram notoriety over the past few years for their various penis-shaped running routes. Both of them call themselves “Dick Run Claire,” and both meticulously plot out genitals of all shapes and sizes, phallic and yonic. It’s like a massive, city-sized Etch-A-Dick.

The Claires’ online rivalry climaxed this week when one of them was featured in a Vice article, and the other saltily reached out on Twitter.

“That woman follows me, and steals my runs,” Claire Wyckoff tweeted, along with a request to write about “Dick Run stealing.”

Claire Pisano, who posts screenshots of her runs under @dick_run_claire, got into dick running accidentally in 2015 when she got lost on a run while visiting her brother.

“I had posted it to my Facebook and obviously my friends thought it was funny so I just started randomly working in dickruns once in a while,” Pisano explained in an Instagram DM. She says she didn’t join Instagram until years later.

But according to Wyckoff, who changed her Instagram handle to @og_dick_run_claire to reflect the dispute, Pisano is a dick run plagiarist. Wyckoff says she started dick running in 2014, which is also when she began “pioneering it as an art form.”

Here’s Wyckoff’s infamous handjob route — which she posted about a year and half before Pisano posted hers. Note that Wyckoff accounted for a testicular sprint, while the Pisano’s route didn’t include the balls.

“Learning to read maps and manipulate the Nike+ app to run-draw the best schlongs possible,” Wyckoff said in an Instagram DM. “Back then, GPS art wasn’t even a thing so I think it took off partly cause of the hilarious subject matter but also [because of] the ‘innovation’ of it.”

Wyckoff says she noticed Pisano commenting on and liking her Instagram posts in early 2018, and was at first flattered.

“I get a lot of people wanting to run dicks,” Wyckoff said. “As they should! Dick runs for all.”

But it bothered her when Pisano’s account started going viral, with the same name and same concept. Both runners have also done strikingly similar vagina routes — dubbing the yonic jogs #pussyrun and #twattrot, respectively.

“I work in a creative industry,” Wyckoff said. “You don’t steal another writer’s joke . when your ideas are currency, bitch stole my money.”

To Pisano, it’s all a non-issue because at the end of the day, it’s just dicks.

“She can be upset if she wants, but dick runs are just funny and I don’t think we should take it too seriously,” she added.

On Twitter, Pisano insisted she follows the #dickrun hashtag, not Wyckoff. In a tense exchange, Wyckoff called out Pisano for commenting on one of her posts, proving that she knew about Wyckoff’s work in dick running.

How about an article educating you on how to follow a hashtag? Cause I follow the dickrun hashtag, not you. Regrets you popped into my feed that way.

Describing hashtags as “the biggest thing connecting users,” Pisano explained that she wasn’t “super engaged in any community” until the hashtag follow feature was released. She began liking and commenting on Wyckoff’s posts as a way to get more involved in the dick running Instagram niche.

As Pisano pointed out, Wyckoff wasn’t the first dick runner to begin with, and told Mashable that “there are a TON of dick runners” on Instagram. She nodded to the hashtag #stravaart as an example of how creative people can be with fitness tracking apps, and acknowledged that human beings have been drawing dicks on things for thousands of years.

“Which honestly makes sense, the running community in general has fun people,” Pisano said. “So many accounts of random dick drawings or things that look like dicks . we are just an immature race I guess.”

.The internet has met its match.

This past Sunday, the OWN Network premiered Lovetown, USA . On this show, Oprah challenges the town of Kingland, GA to focus on love. The show features two life coaches, Paul Brunson and Kailen Rosenberg, who help six individuals search for romantic commitments as well as encourage local residents to confront their conflicts with each other.

Each single person has their own set of challenges that are prohibiting him or her from finding love. While the overall romantic challenge is that they all live in this small town, it is evident that each person has their own set of issues that has caused their singledom.

The six singles are:

Franchesca, 23: Franchesca is a legal secretary with a 6 year old daughter. She’s sweet, driven, and personable. Despite being a young mother she managed to overcome the odds. She mentions that she gave birth to her daughter and started college in the same week. Now that’s determination!

Martina, 45 : Martina is a local, hot school teacher who mows the lawn in her bikini and doesn’t follow through on dates. She has two sons, one biological and one foster. It’s obvious that she has a big heart and a lot of sass.

Alicia, 27: Alicia is an ambitious actress/model who is battling pancreatic cancer. She’s confident and has not let cancer deter her from being a positive person. The fact that she does not mask her baldness makes her fearless.

Ron, 31 : Ron is a hunky coast guard with a young daughter. He’s genuine, charming, and ready to settle down. Everyone around him is married ad he feels that it is time for him to do the same.

Charles, 27: Charles is a graduate student who served in the Navy and is just looking for an intelligent, nice, and interesting woman who doesn’t bore him.

Dan, 31: Dan is a bar owner and a ladies’ man. While he doesn’t think he is a player, dozens of local ladies disagree. At first glance, Dan seems to be arrogant but as we get to know him, we discover that he is actually very vulnerable. He has not made peace with the loss of his mother and their strained relationship with her at the time of her death.

The more interesting part of the episode, aside from the dance feud (more on that later), is the mixer where we get to see all six singles in action. At the mixer, we see their vulnerabilities, and strengths. Ron and Charles fare out well. They maintain easy conversation throughout the night with several ladies and while navigating the scene meanwhile Martina is being overly aggressive and momentarily reveals that she had a miscarriage with her awful ex-husband to a complete stranger before quickly changing the subject. Yikes!

Franchesca is a wallflower for a lot of the night as is, surprisingly, Alicia. They manage to breakout out of their shells by the end of the night but it is apparent that Franchesca is not approachable and Alicia is a bit more insecure than she lets on. Dan, the playboy, is clearly nervous and constantly putting his foot in his mouth. What happened to he playboy?

The show ends with the mixer and next week we get to see our 6 singles go on dates. I’ll definitely be watching.

This show is heart-warming, inspirational, and light-hearted. It’s a nice break from all the slapping and name-calling of other reality shows. Hopefully this experiment will show that if we show love and compassion for others we can forge strong bonds and timeless romantic relationships. We’ll see if love can transform Kingsland in 30 days.

Are you watching Lovetown, USA? Do you think that love has transformative powers? Why do you thin it’s so hard to treat others with love and compassion? Do yu thik the six singles will find love?

Lovetown, USA airs every Sunday at 10pm on OWN.

The holidays are here, and what better way to ring in the New Year than by bingeing on some of the best-rated Chinese dramas on Netflix. Whether you’re spending the next month solo or with loved ones, it’s always good to have some planned time to indulge.

So make some tea, grab your dark chocolate, and check out five of the best Chinese dramas on Netflix.

The One All Your Friends Have Seen: Eternal Love of Dream (aka Three Lives, Three Worlds, Pillow Book)

This was the most viewed TV show in China in 2020, according to Netease News, being watched 81.3 billion times. It’s not entirely surprising, since the prequel to the 2020 series, from 2017, which starred Yang Mi, was also massively successful.

Adapted from the book Three Lives, Three Worlds, The Pillow Book by Tangqi Gongzi, Eternal Love of Dream stars Uyghur actress Dilraba Dilmurat alongside Gao Weiguang who also starred in the 2017 prequel. Dilraba plays Bai Fengjiu, the only nine-tailed fox (a frequent motif within East Asian mythology and folklore) in the world, who is attacked by a savage beast. She’s eventually saved by Dong Hua (played by Gao Weiguang), who is the first emperor of heaven.

What follows is a plethora of zany special effects, most notable among them being Dilraba’s transformations into fox form, as well as the story of blossoming love between the pair.

The Classic Drama: Well-Intended Love

Starring Wang Shuang and Xu Kaicheng this drama has all the components of a classic Asian drama. Struggling actress Xia Lin (Wang) needs a bone marrow transplant and only young, rich, and handsome CEO Ling Yizhou (Xu) can help her.

But he’ll only do it if she marries him.

While the acting, chemistry, and setup are familiar, watchers be warned: many people find this drama distasteful because of the plot twist. We won’t spoil that for you, but let’s just say it involves some typically manipulative behavior that many Asian dramas portray in the name of angst.

Nevertheless, many people also love this drama and the dynamics between the two characters, making it one of the most popular dramas of 2019.

The Not-Drama Drama: Day and Night

Day and Night is not the romantic drama that you might be browsing this list for, but it is certainly packed with drama and good acting.

The series is a loose detective procedural, following Guan Hongfeng (Pan Yueming) as he solves cases to exonerate his twin brother Guan Hongyu (also Pan Yueming). The twist? Guan Hongfeng is afraid of the dark. The incredible acting, intricate plot lines, and juxtaposition of the two brothers make this a compelling watch, trust us.

Day and Night was actually the first show from Youku that got worldwide distribution, and its success in China (it has become one of the highest rated TV shows on Chinese reviews site Douban since its 2017 release) has resulted in a follow-up series which is set to screen in 2022.

The Historical One: Yanxi Palace: Princess Adventures

Story of Yanxi Palace has gotten a LOT of coverage since it debuted on iQIYI, with Netflix capitalizing on that success by rolling out this sequel at the beginning of 2020.

Yanxi Palace: Princess Adventures is a follow-up to the hugely successful show, which itself has garnered plenty of interest. One article online even called for Netflix to hurry up and show all of the series’ episodes.

The sequel season is certainly abridged in comparison to the 70-episode Story of Yanxi Palace, with just six episodes currently on Netflix. While Story of Yanxi Palace followed the exploits of Wei Yingluo, who arrives in the imperial court to investigate her sister’s death before rising through the politics and machinations among various noble families in the court of the Qianlong Emperor.

Yanxi Palace: Princess Adventures, meanwhile, follows her daughter, Princess Zhaohua, and — while not as buzzy as Story of Yanxi Palace — has also been praised for its visuals and costume design.

The Hidden Gem: The King’s Avatar

Gaming dramas have been become immensely popular in China, and it’s no wonder, with the country home to over 600 million gamers, according to Statista.

In The King’s Avatar, main character Ye Xiu is a trailblazer of online multiplayer game Glory. But when he gets forced off his professional gaming team in favor of someone younger and fresher, he works part-time at a local internet cafe — much less glamorous. When Glory launches its 10th server, Ye starts from the bottom, very quickly realizing that it’s much harder without sponsors or an in-game team.

The King’s Avatar then follows Ye’s journey as he tries to make his way back up from the bottom, charting the lessons he learns along the way.

How to settle internet drama

Survey research allows us to get a sense of how the nation as a whole feels about current events, rather than trying to draw inferences from the people we know, or from the groups stating their opinions the most loudly. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, it also allows us to get a scientifically valid perspective on whatever people are yelling about on the internet.

This week, that would be whether the voice in a random sound bite is saying the name “Yanny” or “Laurel.”

The U.S., however, is a country where most voters don’t believe people can agree on basic facts. And when we asked 1,000 Americans to listen to the audio as part of a new HuffPost/YouGov poll, the responses showed little signs of consensus: 35 percent said “Yanny,” 31 percent said “Laurel,” and 14 percent didn’t hear either. The rest weren’t sure.

The poll seemingly supports the theory that age may play a role in the differing perceptions, with younger people more attuned to the higher-frequency sounds ― and more likely to fall into the “Yanny” camp. Americans under age 30 were Team Yanny by an 18-point margin, compared to just an 8-point margin for those aged 30-44. Americans aged 45-64 and those 65 or older were Team Laurel by a 2-point margin and a 5-point margin, respectively.

While we were at it, we asked our respondents to weigh in on four more pressing internet controversies (no, not The Dress . we already did that one ). And while most political polling demonstrates just how polarized the country is along partisan lines, the results of this survey suggest there are also some major generational fault lines in our assumptions on everything from the meaning of internet acronyms to how we classify our food.

Does the “H” in “IMHO” stand for “honest” or “humble”?

BuzzFeed touched off an internet firestorm when they asked earlier this month. Once again, we’re a nation divided: 29 percent say “humble,” 32 percent say “honest,” and the rest say it’s neither or that they’re not sure. And once again, there’s a notable generational divide, with younger Americans far more likely to think it’s “honest.” There’s also an educational gap, with college grads saying by an 18-point margin that it’s “humble,” and those without a degree saying by an 11-point margin that it’s “honest.” (Side note: BuzzFeed’s reader poll found “honest” winning by a significant margin. That makes sense, since the site probably has disproportionately younger readers. It’s also a good reminder that reader polls ― the kind that allow anyone browsing a website to answer, and don’t keep track of the demographics of the people responding, or use weighting to make sure they match the composition of the nation as a whole ― aren’t a representative gauge of anything beyond the opinions of the people who click on them.)

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council has weighed in . So have Stephen Colbert and John Hodgman . Here’s the court of public opinion: a 53 percent majority say no, with just 35 percent believing that it is, and the remaining 12 percent having better things to do with their lives.

Results are impressively consistent along a number of demographic lines. A roughly equivalent 56 percent of Democrats, 53 percent of Republicans and 51 percent of independents agree on a hot dog’s lack of sandwich status. There’s no sign of an education, racial or gender gap either.

Age, however, once again comes into play. Americans under age 45 overwhelmingly contest the hot dog’s claim to sandwichness. Their older compatriots are closer to evenly split. There’s also a regional divide, with Midwesterners most amenable to Team Sandwich, and Northeasterners by far the least so.

One or two spaces after a period?

This is another perennial debate to flare up this month, thanks to an article in The Washington Post. By a 11-point margin, 47 percent to 36 percent, Americans prefer one space.

Americans under 30 are overwhelmingly Team One Space, while those over 65 are closely divided. There’s also an educational divide, with those who hold college degrees preferring two spaces, and those without favoring just one.

How do you pronounce “GIF”?

The creator of the GIF says it’s with a soft “G,” like “giraffe.” But he’s outnumbered: 63 percent of the American public disagrees, preferring the hard “G,” as in “gift.” Not a single demographic group examined in the survey, regardless of age, education or anything else, prefers the soft “G.”

Glad that’s all settled!

The HuffPost/YouGov poll consisted of 1,000 completed interviews conducted May 15-16 among U.S. adults using a sample selected from YouGov’s opt-in online panel to match the demographics and other characteristics of the adult U.S. population.

HuffPost has teamed up with YouGov to conduct daily opinion polls. You can learn more about this project and take part in YouGov’s nationally representative opinion polling. More details on the polls’ methodology are available here .

Most surveys report a margin of error that represents some, but not all, potential survey errors. YouGov’s reports include a model-based margin of error, which rests on a specific set of statistical assumptions about the selected sample rather than the standard methodology for random probability sampling. If these assumptions are wrong, the model-based margin of error may also be inaccurate. Click here for a more detailed explanation of the model-based margin of error.

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE WITH ANDY COHEN — Pictured: Porsha Williams — (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images) Bravo

Porsha Williams sure knows how to bring the drama when the cameras stop rolling. One day after The Real Housewives of Atlanta season 13’s final reunion episode, Williams announced on Instagram that she is engaged to Simon Guobadia, estranged husband of her Real Housewives of Atlanta costar Falynn Guobadia.

The photo was a selfie of Williams and Guobadia. In the caption, Williams explained how they came together: “Our relationship began a month ago—yes we are crazy in love. I know it’s fast but we are living life each day to its fullest. I choose happiness every morning and every night.”

For those curious about the timeline: Simon and Falynn were married on June 14, 2019. Simon filed for divorce from Falynn earlier this year, according to Williams. Falynn announced their split via her own Instagram Story on April 22, writing that “this mutual decision was not made lightly” and that she and Simon “are deeply thankful for the impact we have made in each other’s lives, as well as the bonds formed with each other’s children.” Together they share eight kids, all from previous relationships. In her own Instagram post, Williams said that she and Falynn “are not friends” and that Williams had “nothing to do with their divorce filing.”

Falynn was, however, credited as a friend on season 13 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, her first season on the series; the show often identified her with the chyron “Porsha’s Friend.” Williams attended many a function at the Guobadia residence throughout the season, from a pool party to a Halloween party. The two ladies also attended cast member Cynthia Bailey’s bachelorette party in Isle of Palms, South Carolina, where Williams made headlines for allegedly hooking up with the infamous stripper “Bolo” and former cast member Tanya Sam off-camera during the trip. (Williams denies the allegations.)

The 39-year-old Williams has one daughter, Pilar Jhena, whom she shares with her ex-fiancé “the Hot Dog King” Dennis McKinley. McKinley frequently appeared on the show as the two struggled to work out their relationship issues on camera.

Whether any of this behind-the-scenes drama will affect the next season of Bravo’s hit series is unclear, as the show is not currently filming. The Guobadia divorce has not yet been finalized, but Simon and Falynn have reportedly reached a settlement agreement. Simon Guobadia also took to Instagram to share the good news of his engagement to Williams, posting a photo of her massive emerald-cut diamond engagement ring and writing, “when I asked…she said yes. That is ALL that mattered.”

All products featured on Vanity Fair are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

To make bill paying as hassle-free as possible, we offer several easy ways for you to pay:

Select the method you’d like to pay your bill:

My Fios app

To pay your bill in the My Fios app select Bill from the dashboard then select Pay Bill.

Don’t have the My Fios app?

My Verizon

To pay your bill on My Verizon, sign in and:

  • Hover over Billing > select Pay Bill

Don’t have an account?

Note: Make sure your money is in your bank account on the date you schedule your payment. Verizon charges a fee for each payment returned. Verizon also charges a late fee for payments not received in time. Check page one of your bill for your payment due date.

Learn more ways to pay

Auto Pay

Eliminate stamps and late fees with Auto Pay, Verizon’s automatic monthly payment plan. Your monthly bill is paid from the account of your choice: checking or savings account, debit card or credit card.

Paper Free Billing

Lose the paper — ask for Verizon’s Paper Free Billing. With the My Fios app and your bill is always viewable and printable. Set up your payment method online and pay each month with a quick click from the app or website.

Pay in person

If you want to pay your bill in person, we can help you locate a payment location near you as well as offer a number of pay in person options.

Pay with your remote

If you have Fios TV and an IMG/TV Set-top Box, you can pay with your remote control! To pay your bill using your remote press Menu then select:

  • Customer Support >My Account >Bill & Payment >Pay My Bill

Note: If you do not have a Payment Account on record you can add them in the My Fios app or online at My Verizon.

Don’t have the My Fios app?

Don’t have an account?

Frequently asked questions

Can I still pay my bill online if I have not registered at My Verizon or am unable to sign in?

Eliminate stamps and late fees with Auto Pay, Verizon’s automatic monthly payment plan. Your monthly bill is paid from the account of your choice: checking or savings account, debit card or credit card.

Is there a charge for any payment method?

Lose the paper — ask for Verizon’s Paper Free Billing. With the My Fios app and your bill is always viewable and printable. Set up your payment method online and pay each month with a quick click from the app or website.

Is there a charge for a returned check or credit card charge back?

If you want to pay your bill in person, we can help you locate a payment location near you as well as offer a number of pay in person options.

How do I set up and save a new payment method in the My Fios app or in My Verizon?

Select the method you’d like to set up a new payment with:

My Fios app

To set up a payment method using the My Fios app select Bill then:

  • Options >Manage Payment Account

Don’t have the My Fios app?

My Verizon

To set up a new payment method using My Verizon, sign in and:

  • Hover over Billing > select Pay Bill >Add a new payment method

Don’t have an account?

How do I schedule a one-time payment in advance?

Select the method you’d like to set up a one-time payment with:

My Fios app

To set up a payment method using the My Fios app select Bill then:

  • Options >Manage Payment Account

Don’t have the My Fios app?

My Verizon

To set up a new payment method using My Verizon, sign in and:

  • Hover over Billing > select Pay Bill >Add a new payment method

Don’t have an account?

When will my payment be processed?

For scheduled payments, it will be debited from your checking account or charged to your credit card on the scheduled payment date. For one-time payments, it will be debited or charged within 24 hours of submitting the payment.

Where should I mail my payment?

For Connecticut, New York, Delaware, Massachusetts, Rhode Island

Albany, NY 12212-5124

For New Jersey

Newark, NJ 07101-6801

For DC, Maryland, Virginia

Newark, NJ 07101-6801

For Pennsylvania

Live account area codes 412,724,814,878, 215, 267, 445,717

Final Account area codes 412, 724,717

Albany NY 12212-5124

Live Account Area codes 570, 610, 484, 835

Final accounts area codes 215, 610, 814, 570

Newark, NJ 07101-6800

Why does “Do not send personal check” appear on my bill and what does it mean?

Verizon restricts a customer’s payment options when payments have been returned. You can pay with these methods:

  • Cashier’s or certified check
  • Credit or debit card
  • Cash in person –

You’ll need to continue to pay by the methods above until a positive payment history is established and the “Do not send personal check” message no longer appears on your bill.

Sometimes you just have that one person in your life that always seems to have something going on. It can become difficult at times to separate yourself from their life and conflict. Here are some great quotes about avoiding drama that will get you thinking twice about getting too involved in a situation that will inadvertently hurt you.

“A good drama critic is one who perceives what is happening in thetheatre of his time. A great drama critic also perceives what is not happening.”

“All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.”

“Conflict is drama, and how people deal with conflict shows you the kind of people they are.”

“Don’t waste time on what’s not important. Don’t get sucked into the drama. Get on with it: don’t dwell on the past. Be a big person; be generous of spirit; be the person you’d admire.”

“Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.”

“Drama can be an addiction. It’s so, so sneaky. Jealousy – all of those things can really send you in a lot of different crazy directions.”

“Drama is hard for me. Crying is much harder for me than laughter.”

“Drama is very important in life: You have to come on with a bang. You never want to go out with a whimper. Everything can have drama if it’s done right. Even a pancake.”

“Drama lives on conflict. If you’re trying to deal with social issues seriously, there’s no way of avoiding violence, which is so present in society.”

“Drama’s not safe and it’s not pretty and it’s not kind. People expect the basic template of television drama where there might be naughty villains, but everyone ends up having a nice cup of tea.”

“Every third person in the world is a drama queen. And crying ‘victim,’ especially when you’re not really a victim in any real way, feels good. It feels good to cry victim if you’re not one.”

“I guess you can tease me about being a drama queen, because that did heighten the drama.”

“I love walking down the street and seeing faces and drama and happiness and sadness and dirt and cleanliness.”

“I need drama in my life to keep making music.”

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

“I treat myself pretty good. I take lots of vacations, I eat well, I take supplements, I do mercury detox, I get plenty of sleep, I drink plenty of water and I stay away from drama and stress.”

“Identity is part of drama to me. Who am I, why am I behaving this way, and am I aware of it?”

“If there’s not drama and negativity in my life, all my songs will be really wack and boring or something.”

“I’m naturally a nice person. I’m not trying to have any problems with people. I’m done with the drama and trouble. I want a stress-free life.”

“My life is full of drama, and I don’t have time to worry about something as petty as what I look like.”

“My parents would always tell you that I was the crazy princess growing up. I was a drama queen.”

“Never let somebody’s drama determine the outcome of your day.”

“No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart.”

“One of the greatest things drama can do, at it’s best, is to redefine the words we use every day such as love, home, family, loyalty and envy. Tragedy need not be a downer.”

“People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left?”

“People love scandal; people love drama. They love stripping away the layers to see what’s really in there, and they’ll do anything – as well as make it up – to get it.”

“Real life is messy, and drama is a shaped version of real life.”

“So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.”

“The drama of life begins with a wail and ends with a sigh.”

“The human mind is a dramatic structure in itself and our society is absolutely saturated with drama.”

“The less seen, the more heard. The eye is the enemy of the ear in real drama.”

“What allows us, as human beings, to psychologically survive life on earth, with all of its pain, drama, and challenges, is a sense of purpose and meaning.”

“What is drama but life with the dull bits cut out.”

“When faced with senseless drama, spiteful criticisms and misguided opinions, walking away is the best way to stand up for yourself. To respond with anger is an endorsement of their attitude.”

“When looking out the window and watching the water becomes a drama, then literally everything is a drama.”

Dealing with girl drama can be draining. Learning how to properly deal with these type of situations will keep you focused.

I recommend that you check out the most shared quote posts on the internet.

New here? You may want updates via email or RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

We all face times when we suddenly, necessarily have to become experts on a topic we’d previously given little consideration. Some, like pregnancy, accompany positive changes in our lives. Others, like dealing with funeral planning and estate issues, are entirely the opposite. Yet, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll have to deal with these issues eventually, one way or another.

I want to share what I’m learning as my family deals with estate issues — wills and trusts — to give you a preview of what to expect. I’ll add the usual disclaimer on a piece like this: I am not an estate attorney. That’s kind of the point — I’m just a person, one who knows a bit about personal finance, who has gotten thrown into the estate-settling process and has found myself frequently surprised and confounded.

My Dad’s Passing

My father died in March in Florida. He lived to be 79, an impressive accomplishment after surviving lung cancer 30 years earlier. In some ways, his passing was slow — although he survived cancer and avoided recurrences, he had lingering health issues that made him more reliant on oxygen tanks in the last years of his life. Still, he was surprised by the news in early March that he was terminal.

After that, his passing was, I guess you could say, fast.

My dad left behind four adult children and his wife, our stepmother.

He also — bless him — left behind what at the outset appears to be competently produced estate-planning documents: a will and a revocable trust. A bank is serving as the trustee, with a law firm representing the bank. So far, everything seems to be in order.

That doesn’t make it simple.

Stats on Inheritances

Last year, I wrote a piece for covering what to do with an inheritance. MetLife had released a survey that found that two-thirds of Baby Boomers may expect some type of inheritance over their lifetimes, with the average amount being $64,000 (a boon for headline writers who remember old game shows, as you can tell).

Of course, those numbers are buoyed by large windfalls from sizable estates. You may have heard in May about Prince William’s inheritance. He’ll get $16 million from his mother’s estate when he turns 30 on June 21st. An enviable amount, certainly, though — as with everything estate-related — tied up with all the negative emotions over loss.

Get Ready for Horror Stories

Earlier, I compared learning about the estate settlement process to discovering everything there is to know about pregnancy. Here’s an unpleasant reason why: You’ll hear other people’s horror stories constantly. Instead of birth horrors, it’s frustrated stories about delays. A coworker pointed to her older child, noting that the estate process had started when he was born — and, while everything recently was closed out, her son is now in grade school.

Even more worrying are the tales of family conflict. One friend told me about family members slipping into the deceased parent’s unmonitored house to remove the prized gun collection. (Yes, it’s Texas!)

It’s fair to say that when money and family meet, the strain will start to show. Immediately. And especially when combined with a significant loss. Estate probate really won’t be put on hold, which means you’ll be interacting with lawyers and signing heaven-knows-what while you’re still receiving condolence cards in the mail.

Keeping Your Own Counsel

One of the first choices you’ll be faced is whether to retain an attorney. In some cases, you really may have no choice, based on how complicated your situation is and the role you have to play. In others, you’ll walk the line that I do — knowing that it may be in my best interest to have my own representation, but struggling with affordability. It’s hard to prioritize paying (possibly optional) legal fees when my house needs repairs now.

Additionally, the estate laws vary from state to state, so an attorney in Texas probably won’t have expertise in Florida law. One lawyer I spoke with offered to help in the short term but indicated she’d refer me to a Florida attorney pretty quickly.

“You Want Me to Sign, What Now?”

The first communication my siblings and I received from the attorneys representing the trustee was an email letting us know to expect a waiver in the mail. If we signed the waiver, the message indicated, the process would go much faster. Mind you: The process wouldn’t start until we either signed or returned the unsigned waiver. So “ignore it and it’ll go away” wasn’t a valid choice.

The waiver was mercifully short for a legal document, and all the experienced folks I talked to indicated “it’s pretty standard.” But it had some worrisome language in it, binding us to agree, for example, not to contest the validity of the will in probate and to give up rights to formal service of documents.

In the end, I took the cheapskate’s way out: I talked to a friend of a friend, a local estate attorney who was willing to eyeball the document as a favor and give me a cursory recommendation. She had her own disclaimer about Florida estate laws being different from those in Texas (her area of expertise), but, after listening to my concerns, she agreed the language was unexpectedly broad and I had no compelling reason to sign it.

I opted not to sign.

Find Some Answers Online

In the meantime, I went online for basic information and definitions. You’ll find some good resources on the Web for basic information. Since my dad’s estate is in Florida, I read the Florida Bar Association’s consumer information on probate in Florida. It assuaged my concerns about how long the process was going to take — and, by “assuaged,” I mean it pretty much confirmed my coworker’s multiyear estimate.

What’s next? Reading the will — which turns out to be nothing like every movie scene you can imagine.