How to accept an lgbt family member

A new study from the Family Acceptance Project (FAP) finds that though there are a number of sources of support for LGBT youth, none has as big an impact as acceptance by families. Peer support, community support, and being out and open all contributed to life satisfaction, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth for young people, but family support had a significantly stronger influence to overall adjustment and well-being. The article, “Social Support Networks for LGBT Young Adults: Low Cost Strategies for Positive Adjustment,” appears in the July issue of the Family Relations journal.

FAP director Caitlin Ryan, who was also a researcher on the study, told ThinkProgress that research on the impact of families on LGBT youth has long been lacking. “Historically, peers and LGBT community resources were seen as the only sources of support for LGBT youth since the perception was widespread that families would not only reject their LGBT children but were unable to learn to support them,” she explained. “The impact of that perception was several decades of not engaging families as a potential source of support for their LGBT children with the end result of not developing family-based services and not including families in their adolescent’s care.”

Other research from FAP has helped reverse that trend, but this new study demonstrates not only that families are important to LGBT youth’s well-being, but that they are likely one of the most important factors. “In this sample,” the study reads, “family acceptance during the teenage years was the only form of support that significantly predicted all measures of young adult adjustment, and it remained a significant factor when other salient forms of support from friends and the community were considered.” Family support, both generally and specifically in reference to a child’s identity, “is a crucial factor in LGBT youth’s health and well-being.”

According to Ryan, “when families accept and support their LGBT children, this helps build self-esteem and feelings of self-worth,” which she believes then “contributes to positive coping skills and helps increase resilience.” Feeling valued by their parents and families allows these young people to “deal more effectively with challenges and adversity and with the stigma that many LGBT people still experience.” Family acceptance is “like a vaccine that protects their LGBT children with love.”

ThinkProgress asked Ryan what exactly constitutes “acceptance.” For example, Russell Moore, president of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, recently told families that they should not kick their LGBT kids out of the house or be ashamed of them. Is that enough to achieve the positive results?

Ryan said that the first step is to show religiously conservative families that rejection has a negative impact. Research has shown that using religion to condemn an adolescent’s LGBT identity or telling them that God will punish them because they are LGBT can contribute to serious health risks, including suicide, substance abuse, and STDs/HIV. “Most families, including very religious families, are shocked to learn that behaviors they engage in to try to help their LGBT children fit in and be accepted by others instead contribute to serious health risks, such as suicide attempts.”

Ryan hopes that FAP’s resources help families understand “how to care for their LGBT child even if they disagree in ways that promote parent-child connectedness and increase their child’s self-esteem.” Even conservative families can learn specific supportive behaviors, like talking to their LGBT child to learn about their experiences, requiring other family members to treat the child with respect even if they disagree, and standing up for and advocating for their child when others mistreat them for who they are. “These supportive reactions go far beyond not just throwing an LGBT child out of the home to express core values of major religions such as mercy, compassion and love.”

“Historically, many religiously conservative families thought they had to choose between their LGBT child and their faith,” Ryan said. But the increasing research on family acceptance, along with FAP’s growing toolkit of faith-targeted resources, “help families make core connections between their religious values and having an LGBT child. As many very religious families learn to support their LGBT child, this includes helping their congregations learn to support — not just stop rejecting — LGBT people.”

Talking to older adults about your child’s gender identity or transition can be some of the more difficult conversations parents of transgender children face.

Talking to older adults about your child’s gender identity or transition can be some of the more difficult conversations parents of transgender children face. Grandparents and other older relatives and friends often have more conservative ideas about gender roles, and thus may have a more difficult time understanding or accepting your child’s transgender or gender-expansive identity.

Being an advocate for your child can be difficult when the person you are defending them against is your own family, so first and foremost, try to approach these initial conversations with patience and compassion, rather than being confrontational or defensive.

Situations to Prepare For:

Hard time with terminology – People who are not familiar with transgender people or concerns may have a steeper learning curve when it comes to terminology and pronoun use. They may be inclined to use terms that are now considered offensive or derogatory because those terms are more familiar to them, and it may take more time for them to understand the importance of preferred gender pronouns. As long as it’s clear that they are trying to change, be patient but firm in correcting their terminology and pronoun use.

Holidays, family gatherings, buying presents – If your child’s transition or gender-expansive expression is something new, it’s best to talk to your extended family before any family gatherings to avoid having potentially contentious conversations about your child’s gender identity while your child is present. If you know a family gathering is coming up, talk to family members one-on-one ahead of time and explain your child’s transition and ask that any new names and pronouns be respected. Cultivate allies among your family members and let them help you facilitate conversations that you anticipate being difficult. For holidays, remind grandparents and other family members to give your child clothing that affirms their gender identity, or if that’s a source of discomfort, give a gender neutral present like books, science kits or art supplies.

Family members who are determined not to accept your child’s identity – Unfortunately, there is often a family member who cannot accept your child’s gender identity. This lack of acceptance can include deliberate misgendering of your child, attempts to “change” your child and make them conform to their gender assigned at birth, to microaggressions that young children might not even notice. In these situations, you have to determine what is best for your child, even if that means keeping your child from having a relationship with that family member. Often people who are initially reluctant to accept LGBTQ people eventually change their minds, so the best practice is to keep supporting and loving your transgender child and hope that others come around.

Talking Points for Conversations With Family Members:

This is the same child you have known and loved, just a different gender – it’s often helpful to be able to explain the basics of things like gender dysphoria and the difference between sex and gender to show that this is something you have educated yourself about and understand thoroughly.

My child is happy living as their affirmed gender – Parents of children who have transitioned and are living openly as their affirmed gender often report that their child seems significantly happier than before transitioning. If that is the case with your child, it’s worth pointing out that you’re being a supportive parent and that your child is happier because of your support.

There is not anything “wrong” with my child or my parenting – Being transgender is not a phase, and trying to dismiss it as such can be harmful during a time when your child most needs support and validation. Trying to change your child’s gender identity – either by denial, punishment, reparative therapy or any other tactic – is not only ineffective; it is dangerous and can do permanent damage to your child’s mental health. So-called “reparative” or “conversion” therapies, which are typically faith-based, have been uniformly condemned as psychologically harmful by the American Psychological Association, the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and numerous similar professional organizations.

Straight-from-the-heart advice for parents and grandparents who want to do the right thing.

by Joan Garry, AARP, March 31, 2011 | Comments: 0

En español | My partner Eileen and I have been together for 30 years. We have three kids and have lived in the suburbs of New Jersey since forever. In our town, we are the gay “go-to” people — especially for parents and grandparents of gay kids. Even though some of those moms, dads and grandparents may be having a hard time dealing with it, most of them want to do the right thing; they’re just not sure how. These are the concerns we hear frequently:

How to accept an lgbt family member

All your child or grandchild needs is support.

“I’m not sure how to react.” Being openly gay may be the most courageous choice your son, daughter, grandson or granddaughter will ever make. It is a decision to live with integrity. When you are erasing the picture of the wedding cake with a husband and wife on top from your hard drive, remember that. It takes guts. Admire them as people. Try your best to remember that when you find yourself tempted to drive down Pity Party Lane.

“I don’t know how to tell friends and family about my gay kid or grandkid.” Present it like a five-alarm blaze and it will be received that way. Your comfort with the topic will set the tone. And don’t think for a minute that your friends and neighbors aren’t in the same boat. With more people living openly, it seems that nearly everyone knows someone gay. Strike that. Nearly everyone knows and likes/loves someone gay. And take it from me, never assume a friend or relative will be narrow-minded. I’m here to tell you: I’ve done it and it’s not nice and it’s unfair.


  • Movies for Grownups: The Kids are All Right. Read
  • Love Children, Don’t Cage Them. Read

“Sometimes it’s hard for me.” I believe that kids want their parents to be honest with them. That was the approach I took when my 16-year-old daughter got a nose ring. “Don’t you like it?” she asked me. “No, actually, I don’t.” I could have gone with “I love it; I think I’ll get me one for Christmas.” But I chose honesty. Choose it here, too. After all, your kid did! It really is OK to say, “This may be hard for me” or “Grandma’s going to need an extra martini tonight.”

“My son is bringing a date to Thanksgiving. I may have a bird.” In some ways, it is just as weird when your daughter brings home a boyfriend for the first time. You are hardwired to turn into an awkward idiot. Extended family get-togethers add another layer of nosiness: “Is he a friend or a friend friend?” Get input from your kid on how to handle such kitchen buzz. And if your strategy can include some humor, all the better.

“Now that I know my kid is gay, I’m concerned about same-sex sleepovers.” Be a good parent. You don’t get some special dispensation because you are traveling in uncharted waters. Don’t be shy, ask the question: “What kind of sleepover is this?” If the idea of your daughter sleeping with her boyfriend under your own roof at the age of 16 sets off every bad parenting bell in the universe for you, hold your gay son or daughter to the same standards.

“I want to be sooo supportive — I’ve even got the date for Pride Parade on my calendar!” I joke with my partner about a teen we know. We’re sure he would come out if only he didn’t think his mom hadn’t already submitted her résumé for an open position at PFLAG, which stands for Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Exuberance can be well intentioned, but teenagers kind of hate it in general.

“I was just settling into the gay thing and now she tells me she likes a boy.” Teenagers are unpredictable and live in the world in a much more fluid way than we did at their age. I recently checked in with a friend about her gay high school senior. “How’s she doing?” “Oh, I didn’t tell you?” She put her head in her hands. “She’s straight now.” Sexuality is a pretty darned complex issue for teens to tackle. Just fasten your seatbelt and make sure your kid knows you are along for the ride.

“I really want him to meet some other nice gay people.” It’s time for a quick math lesson. Let’s say it’s a high school class of 250 kids. Let’s assume 1 in 10 is gay. That’s two dozen gay kids (25 less your own). Assume not all of them are out. Your kid is fishing in a very small pond. Gently nudge toward other ponds. Not just the Gay-Straight Alliance, although this is a great start. What about volunteering for a gay teen hotline or homeless shelter? There are options galore.

“My fear for her safety keeps me up at night.” So no one is likely to harass Neil Patrick Harris or Cynthia Nixon and their partners and new babies. But don’t think for one solitary moment that your child or grandchild won’t be a target tomorrow or a year from now. Yes, gay people are more visible than ever before. But it is equally true that homophobia runs rampant and deep in this country. Help them think through and prepare for this. Traveling is a big area of concern. Remember: Your job as a parent or grandparent is to advocate for your kid every step of the way. Gay kids need lots of it.

“I just want him to be happy.” This is the best comment of all. Isn’t this what we all want for our kids? I remember coming out like it was yesterday (it so wasn’t). My father’s first words were powerful and instinctual: “I always thought this was a tough row to hoe and I will not make it any tougher. I want you to be happy.” Now, later that day, he expressed concern that St. Peter’s pearly gates would be closed unto me. But at least he was honest. And yes, it got better. Because time (and love) were on our side.

There is one common theme in all the advice I offer. We want our kids to talk to us, to be honest, to live with integrity. Coming out and living openly is all of that. Congratulations. You raised a great kid. Now it’s your turn. Great kids need great parents. Be honest, supportive and open. Be a fierce advocate. And stop worrying that they won’t be happy. Start assuming they will be.

    Who me? Marry?
    Psychologists weigh in on how the changing landscape of same-sex marriage may be affecting lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals.
    Monitor on Psychology ® , May 2014

Answers to Your Questions About Same-Sex Marriage
With so much attention to marriage for same-sex couples playing out in the public policy arena, as well as around water coolers, kitchen tables and in classrooms, what does the science have to say about such relationships? Who is affected and how? And why is it so important? This resource is an introduction to these common questions.

Lesbian and Gay Parenting
Includes a summary of research findings on lesbian mothers, gay fathers and their children; an annotated bibliography of the published psychological literature; and additional resources relevant to lesbian and gay parenting.

Helping the Straight Spouse When a Wife or Husband Comes Out as LGB or T
Resources for students and psychologists to gain a better understanding of issues that may affect the straight spouse when a wife or husband comes out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

Marriage Equality and LGBT Health (PDF, 100KB)
This fact sheet highlights empirical evidence that illustrates the harmful psychological effect of policies restricting marriage rights for same-sex couples.

Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues
U.S. Health and Human Services

Child Welfare Information Gateway connects child welfare and related professionals to comprehensive information and resources to help protect children and strengthen families.

Research and Reports

What does the scholarly research say about the well-being of children with gay or lesbian parents? A compilation of 75 scholarly studies addressing the well-being of children with gay or lesbian parents.

Protecting the Rights of Transgender Parents and their Children: A Guide for Parents and Lawyers
A Joint Publication of the American Civil Liberties Union and the National Center for Transgender Equality

All Children Matter: How Legal and Social Inequalities Hurt LGBT Families
Released by the Movement Advancement Project, the Center for American Progress and the Family Equality Council. A groundbreaking report about the 2 million children being raised by LGBT parents in the United States. Summary.

LGBT Families of Color: Facts at a Glance
A brief based on All Children Matter: How Legal and Social Inequalities Hurt LGBT Families that examines how the intersection of inequitable laws, social stigma and race-based discrimination collide in ways that create significant challenges for LGBT families of color.

Marriage Equality for Same-Sex Couples
The APA calls on state governments to repeal all measures that deny same-sex couples the right to civil marriage and to enact laws to provide full marriage equality to same-sex couples. The APA also calls on the federal government to extend full recognition to legally married same-sex couples, and to accord them all of the rights, benefits and responsibilities that it provides to legally married different-sex couples. Adopted by the APA Council of Representatives on Aug. 3-5, 2011.

Resolution on sexual orientation, gender identity (SOGI), parents and their children (PDF, 99KB)
APA is committed to ending the minority stress, social stigma, prejudice, discrimination and violence against lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals through our leadership, practice, research, education and training. Adopted by the APA Council of Representatives February, 2020.

Child Custody or Placement
The sex, gender identity or sexual orientation of natural, or prospective adoptive or foster parents should not be the sole or primary variable considered in custody or placement cases. Adopted by the APA Council of Representatives on Sept. 2 & 5, 1976.

Transgender, Gender Identity and Gender Expression Nondiscrimination
APA is committed to ending the prejudice and discrimination based on demographic characteristics including gender identity and expression and urges the repeal of discriminatory laws through our leadership, practice, research, education, training and collaboration with other organizations. Adopted by the American Psychological Association Council of Representatives August 2008.

American Academy of Pediatrics

Promoting the Well-Being of Children Whose Parents are Gay or Lesbian
The American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement in support of same-sex marriage says that allowing gay and lesbian parents to marry if they so choose is in the best interests of their children. March 2013.

APA has filed a number of briefs in contested child custody cases involving lesbian or gay parents, in second parent adoption cases for same-sex couples and in cases related to marriage rights for same-sex couples.

APA cited in Michigan same-sex marriage ruling (PDF, 65KB)
Michigan District Court judge overturns voter approved Michigan Marriage Amendment on March 21, 2014.

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How to accept an lgbt family member

It’s difficult to deal with homophobic strangers, but it can be even more difficult dealing with relatives who reject homosexuality. These “loved ones” should love you no matter what and not judge you based on your sexual preferences. Even though that’s the way it should be, it’s not always the way it is. Since you can’t change the way people feel, the only thing you can do is change the way you feel and the way you react in response to what they do by learning how to understand your relatives’ homophobia and what to do to make family relations much more bearable.

Tips for Dealing with Homophobic Families

Whether you are gay, straight, or bisexual, you may find homophobia in your family to be confronting. Consider these ideas for responding to and dealing with family members who do not understand sexuality beyond traditional male/female couples.

Tips for Everyone

Almost everyone has at least one relative, immediate or distant, who has some form of prejudice, whether it comes in the form of racism, sexism or homophobia. When your family doesn’t share your beliefs, it can be frustrating and complicated. Listening to people you love say things that make you angry can be hard. However, you don’t have to sit silently when a relative says offensive things.

  • Remain calm and patient, even in the face of hurtful insults and name-calling.
  • Remind yourself that homophobia is typically based on lack of knowledge on the topic, and that your relatives are only repeating stereotypes and opinions they have been exposed to in their environment. This is especially true if you were raised in a conservative or religious family.
  • Educate yourself on why someone may be homophobic. For example, some people have never knowingly had a friendship with a gay person and simply do not understand homosexuality, while others may be secretly ashamed of their own homosexual desires. In families where one or more person is homosexual, sibling rivalry may play a role.
  • Be realistic and realize that homophobia will not disappear overnight, or in one conversation.
  • Use logic, statistics and facts when defending gay rights. For example, if you believe that same-sex marriage should be legal, visit pro-gay marriage websites that have information about the issue, such as Why Marriage Matters or Marriage Equality USA.
  • Join an online group that supports gay rights and offers friendly support and advice for people who are dealing with homophobic families. Some examples include GLAAD (Gay and Lesbians Alliance Against Defamation) and The Trevor Project.
  • Check out a support website with your family such as PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) for information and ways to understand each other.

Tips for Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals

If you are gay, lesbian or bisexual and your family members have trouble with your sexual orientation, or even flat out reject you, there are many ways to deal with the conflict. You don’t have to put up with any kind of abuse.

  • Remind yourself that you are not alone, and that the problem is with the homophobic family member, not you. It is not your fault that your relative doesn’t understand you.
  • Remain hopeful that the homophobic attitude will change after your relative has had time to get used to the out-of-the-closet you. Some family members really aren’t homophobic deep down, they just don’t know what to say or how to say it, and comments may come out awkwardly.
  • Stand up for yourself and be honest. If someone says something offensive, correct him politely with a joke. For example, some people really believe that all gay men love to decorate or are cross-dressers. Help these individuals learn that stereotypes aren’t always accurate.
  • Turn down family-event invitations, such as holidays or weddings, if your partner is not invited. If a family member introduces your girlfriend as “a friend,” correct him and say, “You mean my partner (or girlfriend).”
  • Spend time with loving, open-minded family members during holidays or celebrations. For example, you, your brother and your cousin can start a new Thanksgiving tradition this year if you’re not welcomed at the extended-family event. You may even have a better time than usual, as you can try new recipes, splurge on more expensive wine, and have a pleasant, drama-free family holiday.

Dealing With Rejection and Abuse

Unfortunately, some people are in homophobic families that will never change. In fact, some of these family members physically or emotionally abuse their gay relatives. Many parents even kick out their teenage son or daughter for simply coming out. In addition to following general advice for dealing with difficult family members, take these additional steps:

  • Seek counseling to deal with the pain associated with not receiving unconditional love from your family.
  • Ask extended relatives if you can stay with them if you get kicked out of your own home.
  • Report any type of physical abuse to local law enforcement authorities. There are hate crime laws in place for this purpose.
  • According to the Ali Forney Center, 25% of teens are rejected by their families and many of them end up homeless because of it. The Ali Forney Center has set up an enviornment for the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transexual) homeless community to give them support and safety. You can learn more about it in this short video:

Moving Past Homophobia

Living with or being related to homophobic family members can be a challenging situation. Your home is supposed to be a refuge from the hostile, outside world, and it is painful when you realize that family members are so different than you. Whether they reject you or learn to accept the real you, remember that the most important thing is that you live your life freely and that you stay true to yourself.

How to accept an lgbt family member

Many of us know someone who identifies as gay, lesbian or bisexual, whether a co-worker, neighbor, or friend. We are often asked, “How do I witness to this person?”

Many of us know someone who identifies as gay, lesbian or bisexual, whether a co-worker, neighbor, or friend. We are often asked, “How do I witness to this person?”

The answer is simple: The same way you share God’s truth with anyone else.

9 Helpful Guidelines

  1. See A Person, Not A Homosexual.
    Your friend is a man or woman with complex fears, hopes and needs. Look beyond the “gay” or “lesbian” label to the whole person inside. Rather than seeing your friend as a homosexual, think of him or her as a person who struggles with sexual brokenness/sexual wholeness. Be willing to listen. Many of those involved in homosexuality have been wounded by well-meaning but ignorant Christians. Imagine attending a gay pride parade and hearing insults shouted by church people standing on the sidelines. Would you want to follow a God like the one they’re displaying? Or imagine attending church and hearing derogatory language from the pulpit. Would you want to develop relationships with those people?
  2. Be Patient And Forgiving.
    Many men and women with same-sex attractions have been wounded — by family members, peers and sometimes by Christians. In response, they may develop a protective shell or push people away — anticipating future rejection. You may need extra grace, forbearance and persistence to build relationship with your friend.
  3. Don’t Over-Focus On Homosexuality.
    The main issue is their relationship with God, not their sexuality. Of course our relationship with God includes our sexuality, but it isn’t the totality. Learn about the whole person, and remember that all people struggle with relationships, identity and sexuality. However they label themselves, view your friend as a man or woman made in the image of God, not as a “homosexual” or a “project.”
  4. Point Your Friend To Jesus, Not To Heterosexuality.
    Women or men caught in homosexuality cannot change on their own; they need the power of Jesus Christ working in their lives before the change will occur. Often, they have little motivation to change until God opens their eyes to His truths. As He begins the healing work in them, He will highlight areas in their life which must be surrendered to Him.
  5. Don’t Expect To Know All The Answers.
    You don’t have to become an expert on all aspects of homosexuality before you can be a godly influence on your gay loved one. When discussing the issue, it’s okay to say you don’t know, but you will find out and get back to them later. (Then do it!) God’s love working through you will change his or her mind, not winning an argument.
  6. Be Open About Your Own Needs And Struggles.
    Jesus was able to begin developing a connection with the Samaritan woman at the well because He asked her for a drink. He needed something she could give — a drink of water. Then He could offer something even better back to her — living water.
  7. Give Hope For Something Better.
    Be the bearer of good tidings, not just the announcement that a certain lifestyle is sinful. Talk about what God has done in your own life. That “something better” isn’t just forgiveness of sins (although that in itself is an unfathomable gift) — it’s following Jesus Christ, learning to be like Him, being filled with His Spirit, and a life eternal with the Father — a life that starts today, if they put their confidence in Christ.
  8. Healthy Same-Sex Relationships Are A Key For Growth And Healing. Certainly men can help lesbian-identified women, and women can help gay-identified men to leave homosexuality and follow Christ. But a great deal of growth and restoration will occur as men and women with same-sex attractions learn to develop healthy attachments and healthy boundaries. See, for example, Dr. Henry Cloud, Changes that Heal, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, rev., 2003).
    Much of this will come through healthy same-sex mentors, counselors, encouragers and friends. See Anita Worthen and Bob Davies, Someone I Love Is Gay, ( Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1996), ch. 10.
  9. Pray (Pray, Pray)!
    There are thousands of men and women — who used to identify as gay — who now bear testimony to the power of prayer and a loving witness for Christ in their lives.

For the first time, researchers have established a clear link between accepting family attitudes and behaviors towards their lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) children and significantly decreased risk and better overall health in adulthood. The study shows that specific parental and caregiver behaviors — such as advocating for their children when they are mistreated because of their LGBT identity or supporting their gender expression — protect against depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts in early adulthood. In addition, LGBT youth with highly accepting families have significantly higher levels of self-esteem and social support in young adulthood.

The study is published in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing.

Despite all the recent attention to health risks and disparities for lesbian, gay and bisexual youth, prior to this study, little was known about how families express acceptance and support for their LGBT children. Moreover, no prior research had examined the relationship between family acceptance of LGBT adolescents and health and mental health concerns in emerging adulthood.

“At a time when the media and families are becoming acutely aware of the risk that many LGBT youth experience, our findings that family acceptance protects against suicidal thoughts and behaviors, depression and substance abuse offer a gateway to hope for LGBT youth and families that struggle with how to balance deeply held religious and personal values with love for their LGBT children,” said Dr. Caitlin Ryan, PhD, Director of the Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University. “I have worked on LGBT health and mental health for 35 years and putting our research into practice by developing a new model to help diverse families support their LGBT children is the most hopeful work I’ve ever done.”

Ann P. Haas, Ph.D., Director of Prevention Projects for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, noted, “With this new groundbreaking study, Ryan and her colleagues have provided the strongest evidence to date that acceptance and support from parents and caregivers promote well-being among LGBT youth and help protect them from depression and suicidal behavior. These findings open the door to a whole new focus on how families can be helped to more fully engage in the kind of behaviors that reduce suicide risk in LGBT adolescents and young adults.”

“Times have changed,” said Stephen Russell, PhD, President Elect of the Society for Research on Adolescence and a consultant to the Family Acceptance Project. “More and more families want to be accepting of their children. Yet, many families still struggle when a child comes out as LGBT. It’s essential to have research like this to deeply understand the ways that families show their acceptance, so that we can identify how to support families.”

The study, authored by Dr. Caitlin Ryan and her team from the Family Acceptance Project, which shows that accepting behaviors of parents and caregivers towards their LGBT children are protective against mental health risks — including suicidal behaviors — has critical implications for changing how families relate to their LGBT children and how LGBT youth are served by a wide range of providers across disciplines and systems of care, including custodial care systems such as foster care. The study was funded by The California Endowment, a health foundation dedicated to expanding access to affordable, quality health care for underserved individuals and communities.

Major Research Findings:

  • Family accepting behaviors towards LGBT youth during adolescence protect against suicide, depression and substance abuse.
  • LGBT young adults who reported high levels of family acceptance during adolescence had significantly higher levels of self-esteem, social support and general health, compared to peers with low levels of family acceptance.
  • LGBT young adults who reported low levels of family rejection during adolescence were over three times more likely to have suicidal thoughts and to report suicide attempts, compared to those with high levels of family acceptance.
  • High religious involvement in families was strongly associated with low acceptance of LGBT children.

Dr. Ryan and her team at the Family Acceptance Project are currently developing a new evidence-based family model of wellness, prevention and care for LGBT adolescents, with funding from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. This model uses a behavioral approach to help ethnically and religiously diverse families decrease rejection and increase support for their LGBT children to reduce risk for suicide, depression, substance abuse, and HIV, to promote well-being and to prevent homelessness and placement in custodial care. This systems-level approach helps communities and providers to engage diverse families as allies in decreasing their LGBT children’s risk and increasing their well-being while respecting the family’s deeply held values. This work is being conducted in English, Spanish and Chinese with families from all ethnic backgrounds, including immigrant and very low income families, and those whose children are out-of-home in foster care and juvenile justice facilities.

The existing approach to serving LGBT adolescents by pediatricians, nurses, social workers, school counselors and others has focused almost exclusively on serving LGBT youth alone and through peer support, rather than in the context of their families, and does not consider the impact of family reactions on the adolescent’s health and well-being.

In addition to providing direct services for families with LGBT children and working with communities in the U.S., the Family Acceptance Project is collaborating with organizations, providers, advocates and families to develop an international movement of family acceptance to promote wellness and healthy futures for LGBT children, youth and young adults.

“Family Acceptance in Adolescence and the Health of LGBT Young Adults” is the third in a series of research papers on outcomes related to family acceptance and rejection of LGBT adolescents, supporting positive LGBT youth development, school experiences and providing family-related care to be released by the Family Acceptance Project.

These studies will be published in peer-reviewed journals designed for providers, caregivers and practitioners from a wide range of disciplines and practice settings.

Story Source:

Materials provided by San Francisco State University. Note: Content may be edited for style and length.

Journal Reference:

  1. Caitlin Ryan et al. Family Acceptance in Adolescence and the Health of LGBT Young Adults. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, in press)

As a Christian, how should I relate to a gay-identified friend or family member? I have several relationships that involve this dynamic, including both non-Christians and those who claim to be followers of Christ. Any suggestions?

The simple answer is that you relate to a gay-identified individual as you would relate to anybody else. Every person is a human being and deserves to be treated as such, regardless of his or her lifestyle or belief system. Every person you meet is your neighbor, and Jesus commands you to love your neighbor as yourself.

But you already knew this. What you want to understand now is how to talk with the person in question as the relationship progresses and differences of opinion on topics such as sexuality and sexual morality become an issue. It’s at this point that his or her identification as Christian or non-Christian becomes critical. Your conversations with this friend or family member will look very different depending on whether you do or do not claim the same faith and whether you each view the Bible as authoritative.

Let’s begin with the non-believer. Since you and this person are coming together from very different backgrounds and worldviews, you’ll need to make a conscious effort to set your philosophical, theological, and moral assumptions aside at the beginning. Think in terms of something bigger than mere sexuality. Try to appreciate your friend as a whole person. Don’t turn him or her into a “project” – if you do, your motives and the exclusive nature of your focus will become distastefully obvious and will almost certainly inspire resentment. Instead, look deep enough to discern his or her essential humanity and to understand how it reflects the Image of God. Form a connection on the basis of common concerns and interests. Remember that God loves this individual even more than you do. When challenged or asked to explain your own beliefs, use I-based language to give a positive and winsome personal testimony (see 1 Peter 3:15). In doing so, you will be creating a context for the development of a meaningful relationship. And as that relationship grows and blossoms, the Holy Spirit will grant you opportunities for genuine Christian witness that you could never have devised on your own.

While moving through this process, keep Jesus’ conversation with the woman at the well (John Chapter 4) in mind. Remember that, according to the social mores and religious dictates of first-century Judaism, this woman was the sort of person – a female, a Samaritan, and a sexual sinner – with whom Jesus was not supposed to have any interaction whatsoever. Remind yourself that, in spite of these taboos, He entered into dialogue with her, connected with her at the level of their shared humanity (“Give me something to drink”), matter-of-factly acknowledged the realities of her situation, and addressed her at the point of her personal need. As a result, an entire Samaritan village was converted to faith in Christ.

The challenge of relating to a gay-identified friend or family member assumes a very different aspect when he or she already claims to be a follower of Jesus. There are some important similarities, of course: with this person, as with the non-believer, you will want to exhibit kindness, gentleness, grace, and love while reflecting the Spirit of Christ in everything you say and do. But you will also have some ground for referencing scriptural teaching and appealing to a common understanding of moral and spiritual truth. In this connection, bear in mind that there’s a crucial distinction to be made between a Christian who experiences same-sex attractions but does not act out those inclinations, and an active homosexual who claims to be a believer. A Christian who is currently involved in any form of sexual intimacy with individuals of the same sex (or any sexual activity outside of God’s design for marriage) requires a very different response from the one who experiences same-sex attractions but refrains from acting on them as a matter of conscience and Christian discipline.

In either case, we suggest you begin by listening very carefully to what the other person has to say. Instead of launching straight into a discussion of Bible doctrine, try to get a sense of what your friend or family member is going through. Bear in mind that this experience is very real and deeply personal for him or her. Be empathetic and understanding. Remain in this mode for as long as it takes to establish a relationship of mutual fidelity and trust.

When you’ve reached this point, you may then be in a position to take things a step further by inviting this person into conversation at a deeper level. You can invite greater depth by asking, “Are you open to talk with me further about what the Bible has to say on the subject of homosexuality and sexual morality? Would you be willing to learn how other Christians have walked away from gay self-identification or homosexual sex? Could we read a couple of different viewpoints on this topic together and then meet to discuss our findings?”

Strive to keep the dialogue as congenial and objective as possible. If you discover that this individual is theologically muddled or subscribes to false doctrine, you will need to answer his or her objections and address his or her concerns in the clearest possible terms. A biblically based argument deserves a biblically based response. But don’t fall into the trap of shaming, blaming, or condemning your friend. Instead, do everything you can to preserve the relationship and thus maintain your influence in his or her life.

If your friend or family member has been diligent about remaining sexually inactive in obedience to God’s commands, encourage him to continue on this path and make yourself available to support him in his needs and in his pledge to biblical sexual morality. If, on the other hand, he continues to be sexually active in spite of his claim to be a follower of Jesus, urge him to examine his faith convictions with great care and to give them priority over every other consideration. Make it clear that, as far as you are concerned, it would be wise to give greater weight to biblical values than to feelings of same-sex attraction. Underscore the thought that attraction, behavior, and identity are three separate areas; that one need not be determined by the others; and that behavior and identity, unlike attraction, are matters of conscious, willful choice. End by saying, “I want you to know that I will be reading and learning more about this topic because I care about you. If you’re willing, maybe we could read and learn together.” You might also encourage him to pursue Christian counseling if there seem to be compulsive or sexually addictive cycles occurring in your friend’s behavior.

We have a staff of trained family therapists available to speak with you by phone for a free consultation. They can also refer you to reputable and qualified family counselors working in your area.

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How to not stress over a breakup

Tips on dealing with the brain chemistry of being rejected

Maybe there is something in the air– a lot of people around me have been struggling with relationship anxiety lately. One friend, in particular, is trying to recover from a fleeting lover who called it quits after just a few months. She’s caught up in the stormy brain chemistry of rejection and loss—likely including significant drops in her dopamine and serotonin levels—and the resulting depression, anxiety, feelings of addiction and deprivation– plus an overwhelming drive to recover what was lost in order to combat the real emotional pain of rejection. As she struggles to resist the temptation to stalk, plead, and generally make a needy fool of herself, we created a list of reminders to help her become more mindful of her emotions, reframe her urges and set a new course. Her ultimate goal is to come through this ordeal in one piece and perhaps even emerge better and brighter. She agreed to share her list, in the hope of supporting others in the throes of rejection.

(Naturally, change the pronouns to fit your situation and rest on the affirmations that resonate for you.)


When I’m feeling anxious, insecure, and upset, I’m experiencing a drop in my brain’s dopamine and serotonin levels. These drops undermine my feelings of optimism and confidence, and drive me to seek out the false reward of reassurance and closeness with my ex-lover.

I shall boost my confidence and restore calm by remembering the following:

  1. My distress is a result of brain chemistry and I’m not crazy. Just temporarily off balance.
  2. My anxieties and insecurities don’t necessarily reflect what’s really going on or what he’s thinking or feeling.
  3. Just because he broke up with me doesn’t mean that what we had wasn’t real. It’s simply not real anymore.
  4. I shall respectfully honor his request for space.
  5. Seeking contact (stalking, pleading) does not bring relief, it only brings shame.
  6. Instead of thinking, I have to get him to tell me the truth, change his mind, stop cheating, etc., I shall stop caring about what he does or how he feels.
  7. It is a mistake to heed the voice inside my head that urges me to seek him out. That voice comes from pain, insecurity, and fear and is not the BEST me.
  8. When that voice is triggered, I shall turn toward myself or a good friend for reassurance, not him.
  9. When I am triggered, I shall mindfully observe my physiology and let it wane without trying to fix it. Rather than thinking I have to see him and recapture what was, I shall think, Oh, look at that. I’m having an anxious moment. This too shall pass. Also, try unfurrowing your brow. A calm face leads to a calm mind.
  10. When triggered, I shall give myself a 90-second timeoutfor my physiology to calm down—and I shall not renew my distress by focusing on what’s upsetting to me.
  11. I shall not measure my worth by his attitude toward me. His attitude is a reflection on him, not me.
  12. He’s just not that into me, and I shall spend my time with people who appreciate me. Life is too short to do otherwise.
  13. Distance from him is what heals me. Whenever I try to get close again, it’s like picking off a scab and making it bleed. I’m only forcing myself to go through the agony of withdrawal all over again. When a scab has formed, I shall let it heal over completely.
  14. I shall not justify seeking closeness as an attempt to keep my lover as a friend. I cannot afford a friendship until I’m completely over him and no longer even remotely triggered. And it’s okay if we don’t remain friends. Moving on is a sign of personal growth.
  15. It’s okay for me to feel sad that this relationship has ended. As I grieve, I am moving toward healing.
  16. I am a growing, changing person and can learn from this experience.
  17. I shall take the high road and behave in ways that have dignity and restore my self-respect.
  18. I shall do what nurtures my health and wholeness. (Natural serotonin and dopamine boosters include physical activity, sunshine on my skin, smiling, and good nutrition including plenty of protein, vegetables, B vitamins, and bananas.)
  19. When I take care of myself, I feel confident, optimistic, attractive, and authentic.
  20. The more I behave like a sane person, the more I’ll feel like a sane person.
  21. To resist focusing on a dead relationship, I shall focus on living my BEST life.
  22. I shall seek out what energizes me, not what drains me.
  23. I shall remember that my success is the best revenge!

Now after six weeks, she’s finding that these affirmations have become habits in her thinking, and she can more easily counter destructive thoughts as they arise. Occasionally she still trips up or gets triggered, but the falls are less frequent and not as far. Over time she’s also noticing that her insecurities are turning into “how dare he treat me that way!”

Do you have strategies that have helped you reframe and recover?

(For more on the 90-second timeout, watch Jill Bolte Taylor’s fascinating TED talk, or refer to her book where she explains her “stroke of insight” on balancing the brain’s the left and right hemispheres.)

Honey, sweetie, lovey. If you’re reading this, the odds are high that your heart is hurting, and I’m so sorry. Breakups are tough and can come with a lot of stress in the following weeks and months. Some studies have shown that after a breakup, the same parts of your brain that respond to physical pain are triggered by this intense emotional pain. After a breakup, your brain will be looking to reform neural connections that they once made to create emotional attachment to another human, creating stress around the loss of such an important part of our emotional foundations. During this time it is important to take care of yourself and find ways to manage and relieve your breakup stress.

1. Chocolate

One of my all-time stress relief techniques for anything and everything. In Legally Blonde, Elle copes with her breakup from Warner with a big box of variety chocolates – what an iconic scene. While stress eating should always be approached with moderation, I take comfort in knowing that dark chocolate contains flavonols that help lower stress hormones, cortisol and epinephrine, in your body.

Plus, on the bright side, dark chocolate will never show up late for a date or snore too loud and keep you up at night.

2. Cry

Maybe you’ve been doing this already, but maybe you’ve been holding your feelings in. Healthy expressions of emotions are great resources when looking to relieve breakup stress. Crying can help you feel more comforted and calm while you sort through your breakup, and help reduce the repression of negative feelings that might erupt later.

The science behind the benefits of crying focuses on what tears are taking with them when they leave your body. Tears lower your manganese levels, as well as your adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH) levels, both of which are associated with stress.

3. Affirmations

Positive affirmations function as a form of meditation. It keeps you focused on a positive saying, or mantra, while allowing you to come away from whatever the source of stress in your life might be at that moment. Stress and anxiety cause your brain’s happy hormones, serotonin and dopamine, to decrease, leading to a drop in optimism and confidence. By focusing instead on positive sayings such as “my distress is a result of brain chemistry, I’m not crazy, just off balance” or “I am enough” or “I am moving towards healing.”

Check out these positive affirmations from Deepak Chopra for more inspiration.

4. Take Care of Yourself

We’ve all heard of the revenge diet. You break up with someone, you want to get hot fast and make them sorry they ever broke your heart. However, this pattern of behavior can reinforce feelings of rejection and the sense that you aren’t good enough – which isn’t true!

Instead of going on a super restrictive diet, consider focusing on eating nourishing foods full of fiber, nutrients, and protein. Be patient with yourself, and don’t put pressure on yourself to be a certain way in order to make someone else feel bad or make yourself feel worthy of love. You are always worthy of love.

5. Reconnect with Friends and Family

While most of us never intend to, when we become involved with a significant other, we often begin to neglect the other relationships in our lives. After a breakup, a great way to relieve stress is to rekindle those old relationships to remind yourself of how loved you truly are. Companionship has been shown to reduce stress and feelings of anxiety, and especially after a breakup can make you feel less lonely.

How to not stress over a breakup

6. Practice Gratitude

After a breakup, it can feel like you’ve lost everything. But this isn’t true! Practicing gratitude either through a meditation, a journal, a daily mental list, is a great way to remind yourself of all the great things you still have in your life.

You may have lost your Saturday night date plans, but you still have your friends and family (see above), your health, your job, etc. When you focus on the positive in your life, you take the opportunity to displace negative feelings that so frequently accompany a breakup.

7. Move It

Physical activity is another popular go to after breakups. It helps with that whole brand new hot body to make them jealous and/or want you back thing. But do you know the science behind it? Exercise is a great way to relieve breakup stress because it enables you to produce more endorphins which in turn lowers your cognitive functioning, boosts your mood, and decreasing your stress levels.

After you take the space to vent and cry, a great way to break up the breakup pity party. As with all of these prescriptions for breakup stress relief, exercise should definitely be practiced in moderation. The key is to help you healthily get over the split with a significant other, not to help you develop additional unhealthy obsessions.

8. Breakup Playlist

This sounds, and feels, so cheesy–I speak to you from a place of experience–but also so helpful! Music as a stress relief tool is a powerful way to influence your mood. It gives you the opportunity to find artists who have produced material you can relate to, reducing the feeling of alienation that comes with a breakup.

Many breakup songs are incredibly empowering, think “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor while some empathize with your negative feelings like “Always on My Mind” by Willie Nelson. The value in music as breakup stress relief is that it helps you get your feelings out instead of repressing them.

9. Do Something for YOU

A breakup is a perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself! You were previously devoting all this time to another person, and a great way to view a breakup is that you now have time for yourself again. Pick up an old hobby you put on the backburner because your partner wasn’t interested. Learn a new language. Evaluate how you can level up in your career.

By reinvesting that energy back into yourself, you’re proving to yourself that you are worth it, and sunny skies will return again soon. You might be sad and stressed right now, but channeling that energy into a positive future is a great way to move on.

10. Remember Why You Broke Up

You and your person broke up for a reason. Something wasn’t working in the relationship, and it ultimately had to come to an end. When you are feeling down or are missing that person, it can be easy to only develop nostalgia for the good times. However, doing this will not help you move on from your breakup stress any quicker. By approaching the situation with an honest and realistic approach, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to be objective in what your personal needs and wants are, preparing you for the next time you find happiness and love with a new person!

Breakups are hard, and shaking the breakup stress can be even harder. Take time and space for yourself. There’s no set time or way to move on and cope with breakup stress, so listen to your own internal cues for techniques that do and do not work for you.

Emily is a public health nerd with a bachelor’s degree in Human Biology and Health Policy from Stanford. As a writer Emily focuses on ways to make health more approachable in order to give readers a sense of agency in their own lives. She loves talking about easy ways to live a healthy life, pinterest hacks, and fuzzy socks from Target. For tweets about what’s going on in the public health world, follow her on Twitter, @healthyemily16

How to not stress over a breakup

The break-up of a relationship ranks as one of the most stressful life events- it’s up there with the death of a loved one. After the initial shock, when you may feel like you were just hit by a truck, sadness and loneliness often take over. You may feel “a part of you has died,” and your whole world has fallen apart. The ability to concentrate and get motivated may be hard to come across. You may also find yourself remembering and missing things you used to do with your partner.


Brain research shows that rejection experiences in a break-up can activate the same areas of the brain that physical pain or distress do. Especially in women, a break-up can cause cardiac pain and shortness of breath. The pain is both emotional and physiological, which means it can be very intense

Recovering from a break-up is not easy and can lead to severe depression; lowered immune system response; and even health problems.

As you recover from your break-up, you need to take care of yourself. The following tips might be helpful in that process.


  • Express yourself- share your feelings

One of the best ways to deal with the pain of a break-up is to share your feelings with friends or family- people you trust. The simple process of identifying and talking about your feelings is very soothing. Studies show that talking about negative feelings can reduce activity in the pain-feeling portion of the brain. Talking to others not only feels good, but also releases opiates, which are natural “pain-killers,” and helps you process and manage the emotions generated by a break-up.

  • Give yourself time to grieve

Allow yourself to be sad about the loss of your relationship, rather than trying to rush into feeling well again. People who refuse to face the pain of a break-up get involved in rebound relationships before working through the painful issues of the past relationship. They tend to project their pain and desires onto their new partner, substituting their previous partner and not seeing the new person for who he/she really is.

Give yourself time to grieve- the process may be as painful as mourning the death of a loved one. Breaking up is a loss and the only way to come out of it healthy and with peace is to grieve properly.

  • Consider having a conversation with your ex-partner

You may be able to have a final discussion with your ex-partner to help you understand what caused the break-up and express any pent-up issues and feelings. However, this may not be something your ex-partner is willing to do or it may be too painful for you to do. In this case, research shows that having an imaginary conversation, where you express all your feelings and say goodbye, can help you move-on.

  • Sleep

Sleep is one of the best ways to deal with stress and avoid depression, yet it can be hindered by emotional distress. The day’s residual pain, sadness, and anger can make it difficult to sleep well. If you wake up too early, or can’t fall asleep, take notes in order to identify a recurring theme. That will help you figure out how get stress and anger under control during the day. Try keeping a regular sleep schedule- going to bed and waking up at the same time each day- you will feel more refreshed and energized than if you sleep the same number of hours at different times. Create a relaxing bed-time routine. Regular exercise and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation may also improve your sleep

  • Exercise

Working out, running, and even brisk walking release opiates, which can help you deal with stress. Studies show that cardiovascular exercise can be as effective in dealing with mild to moderate anxiety and depression as antidepressants. So, get up and put your running shoes on!

It is natural to feel sad as you are grieving the end of your relationship. Remember to allow yourself to experience and process your own thoughts and feelings, no matter how painful they are- it will allow you to move forward. If you feel helpless, have low self-confidence, or think you are worse than you were, you may benefit from professional help to alleviate your feelings and avoid a deeper depression.

Don’t wait too long before intervening- when one door closes, you need to find the window that will allow you to go through and heal.

If you want help in dealing with relationship break-up call me at (281) 267-1742 for a FREE ten-minute consultation.

Dr. Irena Milentijevic is a licensed psychologist who specializes in helping mothers and those hoping to be mothers overcome stress, loss, and depression. Her offices are located in Houston and the Woodlands, Texas. Visit her website: to get her free report, “Moms and Mom Wannabes: 10 Ways to Overcome Depression and Reclaim Your Sanity.”

Dr. Irena offers online therapy for women and couples in Texas and New York City. She uses research-proven method, known as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples develop and maintain the emotional connection and support each other through stressful times. She has helped highly distressed couples be available and responsive to each other, access their resiliency, and strengthen their relationships.

If you would like to schedule a session, email Dr. Irena for a free 10-minute video consultation: [email protected] or call (281)-267-1742.

Are you feeling anxious and panicky after breaking up with someone? Maybe you’re suffering from sleeplessness, lack of focus, high blood pressure, a racing heartbeat and even panic attacks. Maybe you’re focused too much on the future. You’re scared you’ll be single for the rest of your life, never find love, and even dying alone because you have nobody to take care of you.

“A terrible thing happened to you, but you mustn’t let it define your life,” said Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild. The key to finding peace after a breakup – and coping with the anxiety you feel – is to refuse to allow the breakup to define who you are.

Learn how to nurture your capacity for acceptance, mindfulness, kindness, and compassion. My tips below will help, but they’re only a starting point. The best way to heal is to systematically work through your anxious feelings. If your anxiety doesn’t go away a few months after the breakup, you might think about calling a counselor to help you work through your feelings.

I don’t know if your breakup was terrible (perhaps your ex betrayed you by cheating or stealing) or if you are depressed and anxious for other reasons (maybe you have pre-existing health or career problems). But, regardless of why you’re consumed with anxiety, the first step is to accept that breaking is a huge life stress.

The breakup is a loss you need to grieve – but it doesn’t define who you are or how valuable you are.

5 Tips for Coping With Anxiety After a Breakup

You broke up, you know it’s better this way, and yet you can’t seem to adjust to being “broke up.” I hope these tips for coping with anxiety after a breaking up help ease the pain – or at least give you a new way to think about your life.

How to not stress over a breakup

1. Trust that you are being taken care of

Today I heard the best tip for coping with anxiety after a breakup: Trust that you are being taken care of by God (or the Universe), and that you have nothing to worry about. You are loved and cherished, and you have nothing to worry about. You have no need to be anxious, scared, or worried about your future. The breakup hasn’t destroyed your life. You are just as lovable as you were before the breakup, and anxiety has no place in your heart, body, or mind.

In fact, the breakup may be the best thing that has ever happened to you – especially if you start thinking about specific ways to start over after a bad relationship.

2. Stop anxiously clawing up the wall

“When you hit a wall, you must not claw at it. Back up. Take a look around. Let go of your needs and desires, and surrender.” – Iyanla Vanzant.

What are you fighting against – and what do you need to surrender to? Think about the biggest three adjustments you’ve had to make now that you’re living alone. Is it possible to stop fighting those adjustments, and instead start flowing with them? Whether the adjustments are big or little, they still sting. Accept the breakup – and even your anxiety about breaking up – as if you’d chosen it. Because in some ways, you have.

3. Start letting go of the way you were

The reason my article about letting go of someone you love has been in my Top 10 since the day I wrote it is because we struggle to accept loss. We fight reality, and rail against the truth. We refuse to accept what is right in front of us, and it makes us miserable. Life is loss and pain. It’s also full of incredible riches, people, and experiences! What do you want to focus on? It’s up to you. You decide. One of the best tips on how to cope with anxiety after a breakup is to change your mindset and thought patterns.

4. Wrestle with your inner demons

Here’s a wonderful tip for coping with anxiety after a breakup, from

“Take some time, hard as it may be, to reflect on why your relationship went wayward. Maybe you and your ex were never really compatible to begin with. Maybe you entered into your relationship or marriage with unrealistic expectations. Maybe you have a tendency to want to “save” those you love.

One of the perks of living on your own is that you will be forced to wrestle with your inner demons. Learn to pinpoint and recognize these shortcomings, and try to find ways to balance out these irrational behaviors. Journal, meditate, join a church group, create art or read self-help books to help you on your journey to knowing your inner self.” – from Living on Your Own After a Breakup.

If you haven’t been to counseling about your anxiety yet, a breakup might be the best reason to go. Coping with the loss of a relationship is difficult even for people who aren’t prone to anxious feelings. You may do better with outside support.

5. Hold on to your hope for the future

Back to Dear Sugar’s tips for coping with anxiety after a breakup:

“…your grief is extraordinary. I’m so sorry for that. I’m sorry you got your heart crushed. My inbox is full of emails from people who are suffering for similar reasons and there’s nothing I can do for you or for them but say there are better days ahead. Time will heal this wound, sweet pea. I know that for certain, though I also know that feels impossible to you right now. There is more love to be found and you’ll find it someday and everything you learned from your 13 years with your former boyfriend will contribute to your ability to do it better next time around.” – from The Truth That Lives There.

In a few months, living alone won’t be such a big adjustment. Time will give you freedom and peace, and your anxiety about breaking up will start to fade.

What do you think about these tips for coping with anxiety after a breakup? I welcome your thoughts, but I can’t offer advice or counseling. If you’re confused about the degree and depth of anxiety you feel, read 11 Emotions You’ll Feel After a Breakup.

Picture this: Things are going great with your hot, ambitious, amazing and loving boyfriend.

You already have a perfect picture in your head of the rest of your lives together. You’ll have the most awesome wedding ever, the cutest, smartest kids, a really well-decorated house with a white picket fence and you’ll love each other more with each passing year.

One day, though, you get a text saying he needs to talk. Can you come over right after work? Your stomach drops. But it can’t be, can it? He’s not really going to break up with you. Things are going so well!

Then — surprise! — he dumps you that very night. It’s not you, though, it’s him. Blah, blah, blah.

You feel like your heart’s been ripped out of your chest, you haven’t showered or slept in four days and your best friend is worried about getting fired because she spends half her day sending you consoling texts.

Oh, and you’ve lost five pounds this week because the very thought of food makes you want to barf.

While some of us head straight for the cupcakes in the midst of heartbreak, many of us find ourselves with little or no appetite in the days, weeks and months following a breakup.

So, why does this so-called “breakup diet” happen? Here’s the scoop.

Heartbreak actually causes physical pain.

There’s no doubt about it: Breakups are really, really tough.

In fact, one small study conducted out of Rutgers University found people with broken hearts and people going through cocaine withdrawal have similar brain activity. How terrifying is that?!

And as part of aВ 2011 studyВ about social rejection, participants were shown photos of exes who had broken up with them. The part of the brain associated with pain lit up, suggesting breakups may actually be physically painful.

Think about how physical pain affects your body. It stops you from sleeping, affects your heart rate and messes with your appetite. It only makes sense these same things happen after a painful breakup.

Right after a breakup, your heart feels connected to your stomach.

We all experience this loss-of-appetite thing in different ways. Some people find themselves only able to stomach certain (often strange) foods while others can’t eat anything at all.

Here’s how relationship coach Marina Pearson explains what happensВ in the body after a breakup to YourTango:

The first thing the body does is to create more adrenaline, which flows into the body; this increases our cortisol levels. Too much cortisol in the body on an ongoing basis can lead to sustained elevations of blood sugar, substantial loss of calcium from bones, depression of important immune responses, high blood pressure, loss of muscle mass, increased fat accumulation, and even loss of cognitive function. In short, it affects our immune system, and as our immune system is in the gut, is there any wonder that your appetite is affected by a breakup?

Life Coach Debra Smouse addsВ when we experience heartbreak, it’s almost like our stomachs and hearts are connected.

It’s as if . any food crossing our lips sends us into physical pain. We’re unable to swallow. We force ourselves to eat something, and it immediately comes back up. Though we aren’t quite ready to feel healing and hope, we don’t desire to feel any more pain, so we abstain from eating.

Are you finally understanding why you could only eat chicken noodle soup in the month following your last breakup?

Plus, heartbreak leads to massive amounts of anxiety.

Ever noticed how when you’re really stressed out you either want to eat everything in sight or nothing at all?

Greatist breaks down this phenomenon, explaining when we experience the kind of stress that leads to a spike of anxiety, our bodies release adrenaline and we get a burst of energy that slows down processes in our body, like digestion, making us feel less hungry.

There’s no question breaking up is hard to do, and your appetite can definitely take a hit when it happens. But nourishing your body is crucial to the healing process, so try to get back on the eating bandwagon as soon as possible.

Be warned, though — you won’t be doing yourself any favors if youВ emotional eat, either!

Breakups are the friggin’ worst. When you thought you’d be with someone forever, and the world then comes crashing down around you, you could find yourself wondering justВ what to do after a breakupВ to feel sane again. You’ll likely be feeling a whole host of emotions you’re not sure how to process, like sadness, anger, confusion, and general angst.

Although it might feel like your whole life has just ended, though, it hasn’t. And the truth (which you may find out in the coming months) is that you’re better off without your ex. Now, though, you have to focus on feeling better.

Here are 10В things you can do right after your breakup to ensure you don’t lose your mind:

1. Exercise

Exercise, as far as I’m concerned, is one of the best things in the entire world. It’s good for us, and it makes us a feel good. There’s no better time to hit the gym or that gorgeous outdoor trail than when you’ve just come out of a breakup.

Often, after a breakup, we’re feeling our worst, both in terms of mood and self-esteem. Working out will alleviate both of these things: It releases endorphins, so you’ll feel happier ASAP, and it’ll remind us that we’re doing something good for ourselves.

When you feel like crying on the couch all day, it might not be the easiest thing to brush up and head to the gym. But do it, because you’ll feel better as soon as you get there, not to mention after your workout!

2. Hang Out With Friends

Hanging out with friends during this time will be really good for you and your psyche, because, well, they get it. And they love you.

When in the middle of a breakup, it can feel like you’re the only person in the world who is experiencing, or who has experienced, that type of heartbreak. Being with friends, however, will remind you that everyone goes through it at one time or another.

Not only that, but your friends will know how bad you are feeling and will try to intentionally cheer you up. What could be better than that?

3. Try Something New

Doing anything to get out of your own head during a breakup is a good idea. That’s why this is the perfect time to learn a new skill.

Whether you’ve been eyeing that one pole-dancing class forever or you’ve been thinking of taking up knitting, your new hobby doesn’t have to make anyone happy but you.

Plus, learning something new will make your brain work harder than just sitting around moping about your ex. You also might find that you just get too busy to even think about them. Win-win!

4. Journal

Not all of us are long-term journalers, and that’s totally fine. But during a breakup, it can be helpful just to jot some thoughts down to get them out.

You may be a little self-conscious and worried about unloading too much on your friends, or you may just not be that comfortable talking about your deepest emotions. But those emotions do need a place to go, because sitting around in your brain, they’re just taking up space and making you unhappy.

That’s why journaling is a perfect option. It gets the thoughts out and removed from your head.

5. Practice Gratitude

Swimming through the wreckage of your relationship might not make you feel grateful for anything. But you should push through and find things to be grateful for.

Gratitude improves your mood and makes you feel happierВ overall. And right now, at the end of a relationship, you might be feeling like it was all you had. The truth is, though, that if you look for things to be grateful about, you’ll probably find a lot more than you expected.

You’ll see that you have family and friends and work and hobbies that are all really important to your happy life. And none of those has anything to do with your ex.

6. Do Something You Love

After a breakup is a great time to go back to nurturing the things that nurture your soul. You don’t have to find a new hobby in order to help you get through this rough time. Instead, you can fall back on an old hobby that you know you love — one you may not have made time for while you were coupled-up.

One of the best parts about being single is having time to do the things that make youВ you.В Whether it’s just curling up on the couch with some Netflix and tea or training for your next marathon, not having to deal with a partner will open you up to remember your own favorite activities.

7. Talk It Out

If you’re into it and you think it might help, after a breakup could be the perfect time to start seeing a therapist. Sometimes, having a neutral third party listen to us go around and around in our heads helps us stop actually going around and around in our heads.

A therapist has the added benefit of being able to help us recognize patterns in our behavior when we can’t see them for ourselves. With any luck, therapy can help us break out of those patterns.

Don’t make the mistake of having any preconceived negative notions about therapy. It’s a great, healthy thing to do for your mind and heart.

8. Spend Time Alone

When your relationship ends, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of “woe is me,” feeling like you are now the loneliest person on the planet. Instead of letting yourself do that, spend some serious time alone to remember how cool it is toВ just be with yourself!

Without a partner, you can eat chocolate for breakfast and pancakes for dinner. You can watch whatever you want without compromising your favorite shows. And you don’t have to go those stupid “couples events” with your partner and their friends that you didn’t really like anyway.

Hanging out alone is actually pretty rad. Give it a go to remind yourself of that after your breakup.

9. Take A Trip

Traveling alone is. The. Best.

Even if you’ve never tried it before, hopping on a flight to some new destination right after a bad breakup is a great thing to do. It’ll push you outside of your comfort zone, it’ll force you to rely on yourself, and it’ll throw you into a really, really awesome adventure, no matter what happens.

Maybe there’s a cool destination you always wanted to go, but your partner could never get off work for. Now’s yourВ time: GO!

10. Purge Your Ex From Your Life

One of the most important things you can do after a breakup to maintain your sanity is to purge your ex from everywhere. Get rid of the pictures. Toss out the old clothes. Delete and block from social media. Cut up the letters. Remove their phone number from your phone.

Although this may seem harsh, you’re not doing it because your ex was a jerk. (Unless they were, in which case, that reason works too!) Instead, you’re doing it to give yourself the mental room you need to be without your ex and to move on.

Purging everything related to your ex will make you reminded of themВ and, therefore, make you think about it less, which is always the goal after a breakup.

It’s an unfortunate true fact of life that breakups are terrible. But another true fact of life is that breakups can be made less terrible by how you behave just after them. Follow the tips on this list to help yourself start to feel better and move on faster.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

How to not stress over a breakup

When a relationship ends, it can feel like the end of the world. And for good reason: The grief we experience after a break-up has a lot in common with the grief that follows the death of a loved one.

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So how can you navigate through this difficult time when right now you may feel like you can’t go on?

Fortunately, there are things you can do to help turn those post-break-up blues into a time of growth, clinical psychologist Adam Borland, PsyD, says. He answers questions about how that can work.

Q: How is grief at the end of a relationship similar to grief after a loved one’s death?

A: Both experiences may create feelings of shock. You may feel a sense of disbelief immediately afterward.

You are likely to feel a range of emotions — fear, anger, confusion and loneliness. Plans and goals you thought were set in stone may become uncertain, which can create anxiety.

Both kinds of loss may raise questions regarding identity and self-worth. You may question who you are or doubt your ability to move forward alone. You may wonder if you’ll ever find love again.

Q: How are these two types of grief different?

A: After a break-up, you may still see your former partner. This raises the possibility of reconciliation, which can create hope but may also cause more anguish.

The dynamics of the break-up can also complicate the grief that follows.

Was there a betrayal? Was the decision to end the relationship mutual, or is one person feeling rejected? Even if you’re the one who ended it, it may surprise you to find that you’re grieving, too.

The end of a romantic relationship can also complicate other relationships. There may be a disruption in your social circle, or you may lose friendships with your ex-partner’s family, for instance.

Q: Why is it important to recognize and address your grief when a relationship ends?

A: Grieving is a natural process after any kind of loss. It helps our brains adjust to our new reality.

Avoiding grief can keep you stuck in feelings of sadness, loneliness, guilt, shame and anger — which can take a big toll on your self-esteem.

Those who don’t take appropriate steps to move through their grief, may turn to unhealthy coping strategies such as drug or alcohol use to manage difficult feelings.

You may start to withdraw from others and stop engaging in life, which can lead to clinical depression.

Not addressing grief also robs you of an opportunity to grow. The end of a relationship is a good time to reflect, clarify your values and decide what kind of life you want moving forward.

And if you don’t properly grieve, that also means that you don’t ever resolve your feelings about the relationship and its end. This can make it very difficult to be emotionally available to a new partner.

Q: How can you deal with the end of a relationship in a healthy way?

A: As you grieve, keep the following strategies in mind.

  1. Reach out to supportive friends and family, and openly share your feelings.
  2. Prioritize self-care. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and physical activity, and eating well.
  3. Create a daily routine to add the structure you need during this time of uncertainty.
  4. Be mindful about your substance use.
  5. Leave your ex alone — both in real life and online. Technology makes it easy to send an “I miss you” text or to spy on your former partner via social media, but resist the urge. This only makes it harder to heal.
  6. Don’t rush into another relationship. Take this time to work on yourself and get in touch with parts of yourself that you may have hidden during your relationship.

It’s also important to know when to seek professional help, Dr. Borland says.

If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety — especially if you’re having thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else — find a mental health professional who can help.

Picture this: Things are going great with your hot, ambitious, amazing and loving boyfriend.

You already have a perfect picture in your head of the rest of your lives together. You’ll have the most awesome wedding ever, the cutest, smartest kids, a really well-decorated house with a white picket fence and you’ll love each other more with each passing year.

One day, though, you get a text saying he needs to talk. Can you come over right after work? Your stomach drops. But it can’t be, can it? He’s not really going to break up with you. Things are going so well!

Then — surprise! — he dumps you that very night. It’s not you, though, it’s him. Blah, blah, blah.

You feel like your heart’s been ripped out of your chest, you haven’t showered or slept in four days and your best friend is worried about getting fired because she spends half her day sending you consoling texts.

Oh, and you’ve lost five pounds this week because the very thought of food makes you want to barf.

While some of us head straight for the cupcakes in the midst of heartbreak, many of us find ourselves with little or no appetite in the days, weeks and months following a breakup.

So, why does this so-called “breakup diet” happen? Here’s the scoop.

Heartbreak actually causes physical pain.

There’s no doubt about it: Breakups are really, really tough.

In fact, one small study conducted out of Rutgers University found people with broken hearts and people going through cocaine withdrawal have similar brain activity. How terrifying is that?!

And as part of aВ 2011 studyВ about social rejection, participants were shown photos of exes who had broken up with them. The part of the brain associated with pain lit up, suggesting breakups may actually be physically painful.

Think about how physical pain affects your body. It stops you from sleeping, affects your heart rate and messes with your appetite. It only makes sense these same things happen after a painful breakup.

Right after a breakup, your heart feels connected to your stomach.

We all experience this loss-of-appetite thing in different ways. Some people find themselves only able to stomach certain (often strange) foods while others can’t eat anything at all.

Here’s how relationship coach Marina Pearson explains what happensВ in the body after a breakup to YourTango:

The first thing the body does is to create more adrenaline, which flows into the body; this increases our cortisol levels. Too much cortisol in the body on an ongoing basis can lead to sustained elevations of blood sugar, substantial loss of calcium from bones, depression of important immune responses, high blood pressure, loss of muscle mass, increased fat accumulation, and even loss of cognitive function. In short, it affects our immune system, and as our immune system is in the gut, is there any wonder that your appetite is affected by a breakup?

Life Coach Debra Smouse addsВ when we experience heartbreak, it’s almost like our stomachs and hearts are connected.

It’s as if . any food crossing our lips sends us into physical pain. We’re unable to swallow. We force ourselves to eat something, and it immediately comes back up. Though we aren’t quite ready to feel healing and hope, we don’t desire to feel any more pain, so we abstain from eating.

Are you finally understanding why you could only eat chicken noodle soup in the month following your last breakup?

Plus, heartbreak leads to massive amounts of anxiety.

Ever noticed how when you’re really stressed out you either want to eat everything in sight or nothing at all?

Greatist breaks down this phenomenon, explaining when we experience the kind of stress that leads to a spike of anxiety, our bodies release adrenaline and we get a burst of energy that slows down processes in our body, like digestion, making us feel less hungry.

There’s no question breaking up is hard to do, and your appetite can definitely take a hit when it happens. But nourishing your body is crucial to the healing process, so try to get back on the eating bandwagon as soon as possible.

Be warned, though — you won’t be doing yourself any favors if youВ emotional eat, either!

How to prepare tamarind pulp

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Tamarind pulp is a common ingredient in many Mauritian dishes ranging from chutneys to curries without forgetting drinks, desserts and popsicles! I have featured a few recipes in the past but I have never quite explained how to extract the pulp from the seeds.

I have a few recipes coming up soon with tamarind as ingredient and I realise that it may be helpful to actually demonstrate how to prepare the tamarind pulp before it can be used in recipes. If you are not familiar with tamarind, it is a fruit that comes in a long shape with a shell. The pulp and seeds are found inside the shell. The taste ranges from very sour to sweet. The sour variety is more common.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

This is actually an old photo that I could dig up from my vintage repertoire of photos I took when I was blogging from Mauritius back in 2008!

But tamarind cannot always be found fresh and they are more conveniently available in the form of a compressed block in many Asian stores. Depending on brand, the varieties range from soft to a very dry and hard pulp. Most come with the seeds. Sometimes I leave the seeds in depending on the recipe but most of the time the seeds need to be removed.

The process is nothing complicated:
Tear a piece of tamarind paste from the block. Place it in a bowl and cover with some lukewarm water. The amount of water depends on how thick you need the pulp to be. This depends on recipes. For chutneys and sauces you may want a thicker consistency, for beverages a watery consistency will do. If the pulp is soft, you may go in right away and start to smoosh the pulp between your fingers. Else leave it to soak for about 15 minutes.
Keep smooshing until all pulp is dissolved in the water. Then scoop out the seeds with your fingers and squeeze them in your hand to drain out all the liquid. You may also use a strainer to sieve out all the seeds. But since you’ve already got your fingers in the pulp, it is easier to just remove the seeds from the pulp in this way — less dishes to wash up afterward is always a good thing!
Now you can use the pulp in recipes that call for tamarind. This pulp keeps well in the fridge for a few days if you have leftovers.

Here’s the video demo and stay tuned for upcoming recipes.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

By Recipe Monica Bharadwaj; Photo Gareth Morgans

How to prepare tamarind pulp


1/4 block (about 1 ounce) wet tamarind


  1. Put the tamarind in a small bowl with just enough warm water to cover it. Squash the tamarind with your fingers. Once it softens and the water turns brown and thick, pass the mixture through a fine-mesh strainer into a separate bowl. The fine pulp and juice will go through, leaving behind the fibrous husk.
  2. Put some more warm water in the strainer and do a second pressing. You should be able to see the seeds and fibers. Discard these. You can do a couple more pressings until all the pulp has been extracted. You should have 5–6 tablespoons of pulp. The pulp will keep well in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 3 weeks.
  3. If all this seems too time-consuming and you need only a small quantity of tamarind, you can buy a jar of tamarind pulp or paste. This is different from and much better than jars of tamarind concentrate, which I find too dark, acidic, and gooey.

More from Indian in 7:

  • Creamy Egg and Coconut Curry Recipe
  • Lentils with Tomatoes and Cilantro Recipe

How to prepare tamarind pulp


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Cover courtesy of Kyle Books

Excerpted with permission from Indian in 7 by Monisha Bharadwaj (Kyle Books, 2019).

Published on Oct 17, 2019


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How to prepare tamarind pulp

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How to prepare tamarind pulp

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Tamarind is not a food that I can be strictly objective about. I love to eat it straight from the pod; I love the deep molasses-colored concentrate stirred into chutney; I love it soaked from frozen pulp and added to sticky-sweet marinades, or spooned into a light, tangy rasam. I love it all; I want to eat it all. But an ingredient that comes in so many forms can provoke confusion as much as joy. When should you use tamarind concentrate? And what is it exactly, anyway? What’s the right application for tamarind pulp?

In order to offer this guide, I’ve tried to move past “yum” as my start-and-finish reaction to all things tamarind and dive a little deeper into the best ways to use this particularly glorious fruit in all its forms.

Types of tamarind

If you’re lucky, you’ll find tamarind in the pod wherever you buy Southeast Asian, Indian, or Latin American ingredients. Unripe, the fruit is bright green, with a pale green-tinted brown skin. It’s intensely sour (if you do come across unripe tamarind, do not substitute it for tamarind pulp or concentrate in recipes).

Usually, you’ll just see the ripe fruit, a more leathery version of itself, encased in a brown pod. Peel away the thin brown husk to reveal the tacky sour-sweet fruit. Then sit down, close your laptop, shut down your phone, block out all other distractions, and eat the fresh sticky fruit directly from the seed. The texture is slightly pulpy and pasty in a good way, like nature’s fruit leather. But in most grocery stores (and in most recipes), you’ll instead see pulp or concentrate.

Tamarind pulp, usually in a big, dark amber-colored block is, in my mind, superior to the fresh pods for cooking applications. It’s easier to cook with, and there’s still that true juicy sourness you get from sucking the fruit right off the seed.

The block of pulp, which is sometimes sold frozen, is made from the fleshy membrane that surrounds the seed pod, which gets compacted into a handy brick. ( Sometimes the seeds are still present, but they’re big enough to pick out easily.)

Any recipe that calls for pulp will begin with instructions on rehydrating it to the right consistency; but if you’re freestyling, here’s a how-to.

Rehydrating tamarind pulp: Break off a piece of pulp, add it to a small heatproof bowl, and pour hot water over the top. (I use roughly one cup of hot water for every two ounces of pulp.) Once your tamarind has rehydrated—about half an hour or so—mash it to really incorporate that hot water into the flesh. I use my hands, but a potato masher or fork would also work here. Then strain through a fine-mesh sieve, gently scraping the bottom of the sieve with a silicone spatula to encourage the sticky tamarind through. Depending your recipe, you might want a looser or gooier consistency; just make sure the liquid retains some viscosity.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

What is tamarind? And how do you use it? I’ve got your questions answered plus a recipe for homemade tamarind paste.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

What is Tamarind?

Tamarind is a fruit pod filled with seeds surrounded by a tangy pulp. As the pod matures, the pulp becomes sweeter. Tamarind is sold as raw pods, in a pressed block and as a paste.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

The pressed block already has the shell and the seeds removed but may still contain the fibers. Tamarind paste is just the pulp and can more easily be used in many cooking applications.

Where Can You Buy Tamarind Paste?

If you’re lucky you may be able to find raw pods at your local grocery store. More likely, you can find raw pods, pressed blocks and paste in many Asian or Indian grocery stores.

Tamarind is popular ingredient in many Indian and Thai foods. Since the paste version is the easiest to use, I like to keep a stock of it in my freezer. I prefer to make my own homemade paste from fresh pods.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

How Do You Make Tamarind Paste?

To make tamarind paste from fresh pods, remove the shell and the veins from the pods. Let the pods soak in hot water for at least 1 hour. This will soften the pulp so you can easily detach the seeds.

Push the water-pod mixture through a sieve using a spatula to separate the pulp. This may take a few minutes. Some of the pulp will stick to the bottom of the sieve and you will have to scrape it into your bowl with a spatula. You will end up with a ready to use paste.

How Do You Use Tamarind Paste?

How to prepare tamarind pulp

As mentioned before, tamarind paste is popular in Asian dishes such as pad thai. I like to mix it into dals and soups to add some tangy flavor. It’s also a key ingredient in tamarind date chutney, a dip that is popularly used with many Indian street foods such as samosas, aloo tikki, and ragda. Its many uses doesn’t stop there. Its unique tangy taste makes it versatile enough to use in cocktails and dessert too!


How to prepare tamarind pulp

You can store homemade tamarind paste in a jar in your refrigerator if you are using it within a few days. I prefer to transfer the paste to a freezer bag. I lay the bag flat in my freezer so it freezes into a thin sheet. Then, I break off pieces and add them straight to my soups or whatever I am cooking. You can also freeze the paste in smaller chunks by using an ice cube tray. Frozen tamarind paste is good for 3-4 months.

Tamarind is one of those unique fruits that doesn’t have much information available online especially on how to properly preserve and store it. And I am a huge fan of tamarind so I wanted to fix this lack of information.

As usual, I did a lot of research and a few experiments, so, in this article, I will share with you the best methods that you can use to store your tamarind, tamarind paste, and tamarind chutney.

What is Tamarind and How does it Taste?

Tamarind is a member of the legume family. The tamarind plant is a tree, and its fruit is a legume, but often it is described as a pod.

When Tamarind is matured it has a dry brittle brown shell, that you have to crack open to get to the pulp. The part we eat is the pulp surrounding the seeds, which has a sweet and sour flavor that I would describe as being bright and citrusy. The pulp has fibers that you can remove before eating. The texture of the tamarind pulp is similar to that of dates.

The hard green pulp of a young fruit is considered by many to be too sour, but is still often used as a component of savory dishes, but as the fruit matures it becomes much sweeter with a mild tangy flavor.

How to Store Tamarind with Shell For a Short Period

Tamarinds will be at it peak of flavor if eaten within a week once harvested. If you are planning to consume it within a short time, you can store Tamarind with the shell on at room temperature in a cool area.

At room temperature, they last a maximum of a week depending on how hot the temperature is. The hotter the weather, the faster the tamarind will ripen. To store at room temperature keep the tamarinds on the countertop uncovered if the shells have not been cracked open. The shell will keep the pulp fresh for a couple of days.

After harvesting, the flavor of the tamarind will begin to diminish when left at room temperature after 7 days.

How to Store Tamarind in the Refrigerator & Freezer for a long time

To prolong the freshness of tamarinds, it should be refrigerated. Tamarind stored in the refrigerator can last for 3 months but only if stored in an airtight container or resealable food safe bag in the refrigerator. The goal here is to keep it away from moisture which causes spoilage.

To keep your unshelled tamarinds good for a year you should store it in the freezer. To do so you need to freeze your tamarinds in a freezer-safe airtight container or a freezer-safe food bag. Remember to write the date it was placed in the freezer. The tamarind should be good to consume after a year but you will notice a difference in the flavor.

If you notice a change in the taste of your tamarind, throw out the batch and start afresh again.

How to Preserve Tamarinds with Salt

You can preserve your tamarind for a year without using a refrigerator or freezer, by using salt as a preservative as well as drying your tamarind.

Steps to Preserve Tamarind by Using Salt

  1. First, remove the shells of the tamarind.
  2. Then dry your deshelled tamarind in the sun for two days.
  3. Once completely dried use a small knife and remove the seeds of the tamarind, this is crucial.
  4. Next, place the tamarinds in a clean dry plate and add kitchen salt, liberally to the dried tamarind pulp.
  5. Using your hands to squeeze the dried tamarinds and salt together into balls, ensure your hands are completely clean and dry before squeezing them.
  6. Store the tamarinds balls with salt in either an earthen pot or a glass jar.
  7. You will notice that your tamarind will develop a darker color over time.
  8. Discard of tamarind if it shows signs of mold or gets soft.
  9. For more details, you can see how it’s done in the video below.

How to Make and Store Tamarind Paste so it lasts a long time

Tamarind Paste is easy to make and preserve at home but if you are purchasing the store-bought variety, it is best to follow the manufacturer’s direction on storage.

Steps to Making and Preserving Home-Made Tamarind Paste

This recipe makes 2 cups of Tamarind Paste and will last for at least 6 months in the refrigerator.

  1. First, place 1/2 lb of deseeded tamarind pulp into a bowl and cover it with 2 cups of hot water.
  2. Next, allow the tamarind pulp to sit in the hot water for 1/2 an hour.
  3. Once cooled use your hands squeeze the pulp and the water together, this is to remove the pulp of the tamarind from the fibers.
  4. Then strain the mixture using a sieve into a pot.
  5. To kill any harmful bacteria, bring the mixture to a boil.
  6. Remember to stir continuously while cooking the mixture.
  7. Once the mixture has been brought to a boil, allow it to cool.
  8. Then place the mixture into airtight containers and place into the refrigerator.
  9. This paste should last for at least 6 months in the refrigerator.
  10. Alternatively, you can place the paste into ice-cube trays and freeze them.
  11. Remove the frozen cubes and place them in freezer bags.
  12. Use as desired.

How to Store Tamarind Chutney for a long time

Tamarind Chutney adds a wonderful dimension to any dish. Make your favorite recipe and store for a long time by freezing the chutney in an airtight container or for a quick defrost you can store them in ice cube trays.

Once frozen remove the cubes and place them in resealable bags. Place the resealable bags in the freezer.

When you are ready to use the chutney, defrost and take as much as you want and reheat in the microwave or pot. Place the remainder of the unheated chutney back into the freezer. Frozen tamarind chutney can last for 6 months in the freezer.

Uses of Tamarind

Tamarind is used in cuisines all around the world because of the sweet and sour flavor it imparts. Growing up I ate many dishes made from tamarind, and I am aware of the delicious flavor that it imparts in curries, marinades, chutneys, and drinks. Tamarind is also a key ingredient found in the very popular Worcestershire sauce.

It can also be used as well in traditional medicine because of its many health benefits and as a metal polish since it contains tartaric acid, which helps remove tarnish from copper and bronze.

This simple tamarind paste is made with one ingredient (tamarind).

It can be used to make a whole bunch of other recipes like tamarind juice, chutney, sauce and more.

You can use it in your favorite Thai and Indian dishes too. I’ve used it to boost the flavor profile of my homemade BBQ sauce.

Shhh! That’s the secret ingredient.

Tamarind paste has the typical tangy, tart-like flavor.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

What’s Tamarind?

Ever heard of tamarind?

It’s part of the legume family – think soybeans, peas and peanuts.

The tamarind fruit comes in brown, thin-shelled pods. When you remove the shell, you’ll find a series of seeds surrounding thin, brown flesh. It’s that flesh that holds all the tangy, delicious tamarind flavor.

When you extract the flavor (usually by adding hot water and squeezing the flesh), you can make lots of wonderful recipes. Tamarind juice is a unique thirst quencher. And you can make chutneys and tamarind candy too (we call it tamarind balls).

So, you can see there are lots of wonderful tamarind recipes. And guess what? Tamarind pods and flesh can last for years in the fridge. I’m not kidding. Its shelf-life is incredibly long. Once it is kept dry, tamarind won’t ever grow mold or bacteria in the fridge. So, you can stock up and use it years later.

Note, if your tamarind pulp is older and darker, it will make a darker tamarind paste. Fresher tamarind pulp is lighter brown and will make a lighter colored paste. Both taste the same.

Tamarind Paste

Making tamarind paste starts the same way as all other tamarind recipes – by extracting the flavor from the tamarind flesh. Once extracted, you can heat to sterilize the extract and strain to remove the seeds.

The resulting paste can be used to make all the other tamarind recipes. So, having the paste made beforehand and kept in the fridge will save you time and effort as you whip up your favorite dishes.

Let’s get into a little more detail on how to make tamarind paste from scratch.

How to Make Tamarind Paste

Starting to make the paste will depend on what you bought.

If you were able to get your hands on tamarind in the shells, then the starting point would be to remove the shells. This is how I purchased tamarind and I prefer it since it can last for months (and years) in the fridge.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

Break and peel the shells off. You can add the shells to your compost instead of throwing it away. Remove the tamarind “strings.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

If you buy tamarind pulp, you can start from this point.

Squeeze the tamarind pulp to pull apart the seeds from each other. Add the seeds and pulp to a bowl.

Pour boiling water over the tamarind and leave to soak for 15 minutes.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

When the water has cooled, squeeze the tamarind pulp to soften it. Let it sit for another 15 minutes before squeezing again to separate the pulp from the seeds.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

Strain and boil the liquid for 5 minutes to form the tamarind paste. This boiling step is for sterilizing the paste so it will last longer in the fridge. You can add a pinch of salt too for the same reason.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

Allow to cool before bottling. Keep in the fridge. It’ll last a couple months in there.

You can discard the seeds.

The best use for tamarind paste is to make tamarind chutney. But you can add it to your favorite thai recipes, sauces and even drinks.

Is Tamarind Good for You?

Tamarind is especially rich in minerals. The USDA Food Database show tamarind has high levels of copper and moderate levels of iron, magnesium, phosphorus and potassium. It also has low levels of calcium too. Imagine… calcium in the fruit!

Besides minerals, you’ll find good levels of Vitamins B1, B2 and B3 in the fresh pulp.


This recipe yields 3 tablespoons of tamarind paste. Scale up your recipe accordingly.

This article is about making the refreshing and tangy tamarind juice. It is a yummy drink with many health benefits. Read more for the recipe and the benefits of the tamarind’s juice.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

This article is about making the refreshing and tangy tamarind juice. It is a yummy drink with many health benefits. Read more for the recipe and the benefits of the tamarind’s juice.

Tamarind is a tree found extensively in the tropical Africa, South Asian countries. Therefore its leaves and fruits are a widely used food ingredient in their diets. Tamarind juice is made from the tamarind fruit and is the best way to beat the heat in summers. If you like the taste of tamarind or if you have had the juice before and you want to make it at home here is a simple recipe for you to make the refreshing tamarind juice.


Things You’ll Need

  • 2 cups of Fresh or Compressed Tamarind
  • Sugar Syrup or Honey
  • Water
  • Ice


Step 1. Wash the tamarind fruit (pod) with water to get rid of all the dirt.

Step 2. Now remove all the seeds from the tamarind pod and keep it ready for boiling.

Step 3. Pour about two glasses of water and let it boil.

Step 4. Now, add the tamarind fruit in the bowl of boiling water and let it cook on a low flame.

Step 5. Say after 5-10 minutes, check if the tamarind fruit has soaked and cooked.

Step 6. If it has, then the water will turn into a think dark brown liquid.

Step 7. Use a blender and grind all the boiled content.

Step 8. Now, use a drainer and drain the boiled content in another bowl leaving behind the waste particles and let it cool.

Step 9. Meanwhile, either make a sugar syrup by boiling a tablespoon of sugar in a glass of water and let it boil or use honey instead.

Step 10. After the boiled content (tamarind pulp) has cooled down, add the sugar syrup (cooled) or honey as per your taste.

Step 11. Now crush some ice in a blender and add it to the mixture of tamarind pulp and sugar syrup or honey and serve.

Your tangy and yummy tamarind juice is ready!

You can also use the tamarind pulp available in the market directly for making tamarind juice, but the flavor is different when you make it at home rather than get it ready-made. The tamarind pulp made at home has more flavor as it has no preservatives and chemicals added.

Tip: Store the tamarind pulp and the sugar syrup separately and add them as per your taste.

Other Uses of Tamarind Pulp

The tamarind pulp made for the juice can be used for preparing many other things. It is used as a traditional ingredient in south Asian dishes, as a substitute for lemon. It is commonly used for:

  • Making a curry
  • Making a jam
  • Chutney
  • Candied tamarind
  • Tamarind balls
  • Tamarind paste
  • Tamarind sauce

You will always find the tamarind pulp ready in a south Asian home. It is a main condiment spice used by them in many of their dishes. It is very easy to use and make. If you are making a curry, you will need to add a few table spoons of the tamarind pulp (depending on the quantity of curry) to the curry and let boil for sometime. It brings a tangy flavor to the dish. Also, if you are making a jam, you can add the tamarind pulp in the jam mixture and cook it till the mixture becomes thick.

Benefits of Tamarind Juice

  1. It is used as a drink that brings relief from a sunstroke.
  2. It is used for gargling to treat sore throats.
  3. It is used as a somniferous drink.
  4. It is also drunk to improve the digestive system.
  5. Regular drinking of tamarind juice helps in lowering cholesterol.
  6. It is also used as a remedy for biliousness.
  7. It is a good source of copper, potassium, calcium, iron, selenium, zinc and magnesium.

The juice does not only have a great tangy taste, but also has a great nutritive and medicinal value. It is so much better than drinking soft drinks, which unnecessarily increase your calorie intake and also adds no nutritive value. Follow the above given recipe and treat yourself with a healthy chilled glass of tamarind juice.

Most of the Southeast Asian dishes would never be complete without the addition of a few healthy spoonfuls of tamarind sauce. For most of the Thai recipes, blocks of tamarind pulp are usually used, but before they are ready for the pot, there are some preparations they need to undergo for effective results.

Tamarind pulp is made from tamarind fruit whose husks have been removed and the remaining mass compressed tightly together. In most of the occasions, the pulp will not have any seeds, but there are a few times when you find seeds together with the pulp. The seeds will however not affect anything, and all you have to do is to remove them and proceed with the rest of the preparation process.

How to prepare tamarind pulp

Where to Buy Tamarind Pulp

The surest place where you will never miss tamarind pulp is at Indian and Asian food stores. This is because tamarind is a core component of most of their recipes hence they will always have them in stock. Not just tamarind pulp alone, but other variations of the ingredient like tamarind puree and tamarind paste will also be present in such stores.

You will also find a number of online outlets selling tamarind pulp together with other cooking ingredients. Then finally, you can check out for tamarind pulp in your local supermarkets or convenience stores. You will have higher chances of finding it in such places if there is a large number of Asians and Indians living in your area.

How to Prepare Tamarind Pulp for Use

When you buy tamarind pulp, you will find it in blocks, and you can’t use it in its present condition. You will have to cut just a small piece that you need to use then prep it before using in your recipe.
How to prepare tamarind pulp
This is how to make the tamarind pulp ready for use-:

  • Cut a reasonable piece from the block of pulp and keep the rest safely. There is no exact formula on the size of the piece you need to cut. Simply use your intuition and the amount of food you need to cook as guidance.
  • Dip the tamarind pulp in a bowl of boiling water and let it sit there for twenty minutes while covering the top of the bowl to make it softer.
  • Drain off the water. Using your fingers, gently mash it against a fine meshed strainer. You can alternatively use a scapular or a small scrapper in mashing against the strainer. Being a fibrous fruit, this process helps to eliminate the fibers and leave you with very fine tamarind pulp. The pulp will go through the mesh while the fibers will stay behind.
  • Continue mashing until the whole block of pulp is over. What you should have in the end is a bowl of soft tamarind paste with the same consistency like that of apple sauce. The pulp will now be ready for use, and you can apply it directly to your dish or as directed in the recipe you are using.

Instead of throwing away the leftover fibers, you can soak them in hot water and add a little sugar for a refreshing drink of tamarind juice. But if you like the taste of straight tamarind, then you can drink the juice without adding any sugar or sweetener.

How to create an opportunity out of adversity

How to create an opportunity out of adversity

The state of the cannabis industry in 2020 is as complex as one would think thanks to multiple factors at play.

It has been a challenging year for most industries, and cannabis businesses are no different. But despite this difficult environment, adversity can create opportunity, particularly for industries that support cannabis producers.

Last year was groundbreaking in terms of moving federal policy reform forward. Congress easily reaffirmed for the fifth year that the Department of Justice may not waste resources interfering with state medical cannabis programs. For the first time, a congressional committee voted to approve a bill to legalize cannabis federally when the Judiciary Committee approved the Marijuana Opportunity, Reinvestment, and Expungement (MORE) Act.

Even more historic was the passage of the Secure and Fair Enforcement (SAFE) Banking Act by the House. This legislation would create a safe harbor for financial institutions to be able to work with cannabis businesses, and was passed in an overwhelming bipartisan majority vote in September. It is awaiting consideration in the Senate.

All in all, the industry was optimistic at the beginning of 2020. Newly opened markets in Illinois and Michigan were thriving. Dozens of states were set to consider legislation and ballot initiatives to enact medical and adult-use laws. Congress was already scheduling hearings on cannabis-related bills and support was growing.

Then COVID Happened

The pandemic has certainly hurt the industry and delayed reform efforts. Stay-at-home orders derailed signature gathering efforts for petitions in several states. Some state legislatures have abandoned efforts addressing cannabis bills in this session. Congress is focusing on other issues and appears unlikely to prioritize major stand-alone cannabis policy reforms this year.

More directly dangerous to cannabis businesses are the financial impacts of the coronavirus. Despite being declared essential in nearly every state with a regulated medical or adult market, the additional costs of continuing to operate while protecting employees and customers, as well as supply chain interruptions and onerous regulatory requirements, have hurt most businesses. Stock market fluctuations and recession fears have kept investors timid. All the while, cannabis businesses have been denied access to federal relief funds and loans.

There are some silver linings to this situation. The ability to stay open for business has allowed the cannabis industry to provide continuous healthcare while protecting tens of thousands of jobs and providing states with much-needed tax revenue. While there is variation from state to state and business to business, sales have remained relatively stable despite the recession.

Social distancing and other public safety protocols caused state and local regulators to allow things like delivery and curbside pickup that had previously been unavailable in many markets. Essential status is increasing support for reform in Congress and is necessitating closer working relationships with local authorities that could improve the regulatory environment going forward.

What Does all This Mean for the Greenhouse Industry?

Primarily, it creates an opportunity to help cannabis producers reduce long-term costs, and every business will be looking for ways to do this in the coming months. Indoor cannabis production is incredibly energy intensive, and outdoor production exposes crops to environmental threats like pests and cross-pollination from expanding outdoor hemp production. Greenhouse cultivation provides solutions to these problems while improving sustainability, and is becoming more attractive to producers as a way to lower their bottom lines.

Unfortunately, the recession and lack of access to capital will make it difficult for many businesses to be able to immediately afford infrastructure outlays. The greenhouse industry can use this to its advantage by extending credit and reasonable payment options to cultivators. The benefits of developing early relationships with them in their time of need will create downstream opportunities working with an industry that will soon represent a tremendous portion of the greenhouse market in the years to come.

There is still reason for hope in the second half of 2020 and beyond. Voters in a handful of states will vote on medical and adult-use ballot initiatives in November, and several more are actively pushing to take up cannabis legislation this session. Pandemic-related public safety concerns have created a pathway for the SAFE Banking Act language to become part of a coronavirus relief bill, and it has already been included in the latest round of stimulus funding approved by the House. Businesses are shifting focus to stability and beginning to attract renewed investor interest. And recent national conversations on social and criminal justice are increasing the calls for comprehensive federal cannabis policy reform.

Now is the time for agricultural support industries to seize on these opportunities by helping cannabis businesses thrive and developing relationships for mutual benefit far into the future.

How to create an opportunity out of adversity

People often misread an event or circumstance as an adversity or setback. The problem is that we tend to judge events on the basis of their immediate impact, but, as life repeatedly teaches us, the long-term consequences of an action can be quite different from what we initially observe.

The bad is superficial and obvious; the good often takes investigation and long-term observation. It’s important to recognize that the true result of an event may take a long period of time to come to fruition. Thus, misfortune and setbacks are frequently nothing more than illusions, which is why we so often fail to connect the long-term benefits to the seemingly negative situation that confronts us.

The truth is that adversity can serve as both a learning experience and a masked opportunity. In fact, I would take it one step further and say that there is an offsetting opportunity in every adversity and every obstacle. The trick is to develop the habit of automatically looking for the positive in every negative situation.

It took me years to develop this habit, but now, even when something seemingly terrible occurs, I immediately take a deep mental breath and start thinking about where the Cosmic Catalyst is trying to lead me. Some of the unexpected roads this has taken me down are nothing short of miraculous.

A classic example of this phenomenon that is especially dear to my heart is the story of how my first book was rejected by twenty-three publishers. It was obvious that some of the publishers didn’t even take the trouble to look at my manuscript and simply returned it with form letters of rejection. Others sent customized letters, many of which were brutally candid in telling me why my book was unsaleable.

While some of the harshest comments put a bit of a dent in my self-confidence, I was passionate about what I had written and I had a burning desire to get the book into the hands of the public. So, in desperation, I decided to publish it myself, even though I had zero knowledge of the book-publishing business.

In fact, it would have been impossible to have been less prepared than I was to publish a book, but I didn’t let that stop me. I certainly was not about to spend a couple of years learning the intricacies of the book-publishing business, which, as it turned out, can only be learned through experience anyway.

So, ignorance aside, something compelled me to take action. Then, after I had five-thousand copies of my book printed up, a remarkable thing happened: My bold (some referred to it as audacious) action resulted in an explosive expansion of my mental paradigm, though at the time I didn’t even know what a paradigm was. I became resourceful beyond what I previously would have thought possible, and went way beyond the boundaries of so-called conventional wisdom in an effort to create my own opportunity.

Though I had no advertising experience, I decided to run ads in local newspapers and The Wall Street Journal. The first ad I ran, in the San Antonio Express-News, produced such poor results that I lost 90 percent of my advertising investment.

I was shaken, but not deterred, so I sprung back into action and worked hard at analyzing what was wrong with my first ad. Then, based on my analysis, I rewrote the ad and ran it in The Wall Street Journal. The result was an early lesson in the importance of both choosing the right medium and coming up with the right advertising copy, because my second attempt resulted in a huge success, with sales nearly double the cost of the ad.

I soon worked my way up to full-page ads and continued to run these ads in The Wall Street Journal for about nine months. This resulted in sales of about sixty thousand books and, more important, brought me a lot of attention.

The attention brought calls from Brentano’s (the most prestigious bookstore in New York City at the time), which offered to buy large quantities of my book if I would agree to put its name at the bottom of one of my ads; from Thomas Y. Crowell (later acquired by Harper & Row), which made a proposal to distribute my book to bookstores nationwide; and from Fawcett Publications (later acquired by Ballantine Books), which offered me what, at the time, seemed like an obscene sum of money to publish the book in paperback.

The book, Winning through Intimidation, ultimately climbed to #1 on the New York Times Best Seller List, which launched me into a string of three straight #1 best sellers. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that none of this would have happened had my book not been rejected by every publisher I submitted it to, because, as I subsequently learned through experience, 99 percent of books published by mainstream publishers — particularly major publishers — get zero advertising and little, if any, publicity.

So, what initially appeared to be an enormous adversity was, in fact, a hidden opportunity. All that was required of me was to apply action and resourcefulness to an apparent obstacle, and the result shocked the publishing industry.

I’ve repeated this same lemons-to-lemonade trick so often over the years that I’ve lost count of the number of times that seemingly major obstacles have turned out to be great opportunities waiting to be exploited. And the more I’ve done it, the more I’ve learned.
Best of all, each new learning experience makes it that much easier the next time around. In the words of Richard Bach, “That’s what learning is, after all: not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it, and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.”

[Ed. Note: If you’re ready for a treasure chest of proven ideas, strategies, and techniques that are guaranteed to dramatically improve your dealmaking skills – and, in the process, increase your income many times over – you won’t want to miss Robert Ringer’s bestselling audio series, A Dealmaker’s Dream.

Robert Ringer is a New York Times #1 bestselling author and host of the highly acclaimed Liberty Education Interview Series, which features interviews with top political, economic, and social leaders. His recently released work, Restoring the American Dream: The Defining Voice in the Movement for Liberty, is a clarion call to liberty-loving citizens to take back the country. Ringer has appeared on numerous national talk shows and has been the subject of feature articles in such major publications as Time, People, The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Barron’s, and The New York Times. To sign up for his e-letter, A Voice of Sanity in an Insane World, visit]

Robert Ringer

Robert Ringer is a New York Times #1 bestselling author and host of the highly acclaimed Liberty Education Interview Series, which features interviews with top political, economic, and social leaders. He has appeared on Fox News, Fox Business, The Tonight Show, Today, The Dennis Miller Show, Good Morning America, The Lars Larson Show, ABC Nightline, and The Charlie Rose Show, and has been the subject of feature articles in such major publications as Time, People, The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Barron’s, and The New York Times.

Allow me to begin with two assertions:

1) Whether you are a CEO, a rising corporate star, an entrepreneur, an athlete, a parent or a student, the most important investment you will ever make is in yourself; and 2) the most important thing you can ever learn is how to rebound, that is, how to be resilient in the wake of adversity.

And if there is one thing I’d like you to take away from this article it is the aphorism: “It’s not how hard you fall, it’s how high you can bounce that really matters!”

I have studied stress and human resilience for almost 50 years, first in the laboratory, then in the some of the most vaunted clinics in the world and, lastly, on the street and in the field. I’ve studied amazingly resilient people: U.S. Navy SEALS, professional athletes, corporate CEOs, medical patients and even politicians. And I discovered the most resilient shared a constellation of common attributes:

  • They were optimists.
  • They were courageous, decisive and often out-of-the-box thinkers.
  • They were tenacious.
  • Like magnets, they seemed to possess an attribute that attracted the admiration and support of others. One such attribute is what William Osler called “equanimity.”

In this article, rather than review all of these attributes, I will focus on equanimity because of its central and multi-faceted role in promoting human resilience.

To begin, what is equanimity? Sir William Osler, first physician-in-chief at the Johns Hopkins Hospital described equanimity as imperturbability. In a famous 1889 address entitled Aequanimitas, he said, “In the first place…no quality takes rank with imperturbability… Imperturbability means coolness and presence of mind under all circumstances, calmness amid storm, clearness of judgment in moments of grave peril.”

But how does equanimity promote resilience? In at least three ways.

First, given its relative rarity, equanimity attracts the respect and support of others. This is important because research has consistently shown the support of others to be the best single predictor of human resilience. The assistance of others not only mobilizes additional resources in an additive manner, in his Metaphysics, Aristotle pointed out that the blending of multiple resources could create a whole greater than the sum of its parts. This notion was later referred to as synergy. Osler added, “It is the quality which is most appreciated by others [especially those who look to you for guidance].” Equanimity is associated with trust, as well. Research has shown that groups which possess high levels of trust have less stress, more energy, a higher sense of connectedness and higher quality of life compared to those in low trust groups.

Second, equanimity represents a reactive presence of sprit that assists one in making effective decisions in the midst of adversity. Under extreme stress, especially if “blindsided” by unanticipated adversity, we revert to reflexive intuitive thought patterns. Intuitive thought has been shown to be frequently associated with errors. So, using equanimity to anchor your psychological thought processes allows you to reestablish more logical, constructive and even innovative thinking that would be initially blocked by the surge of adrenaline associated with adversity.

And third, if embraced prior to the emergence of adversity, equanimity seems to provide some aspect of psychological “immunity,” which appears to prevent or resist debilitating distress and anxiety. This prophylactic aspect of equanimity is perhaps its most exciting. We have been able to measure this “immunity” both psychologically and physiologically. And the best news of all is we believe that it is not only possible to train yourself to behaviorally act with equanimity using techniques such as “minding the gap” between impulse and action, but you may be able to retrain your brain to develop a form of psychological “immunity”—presumably at the cellular level, recruiting a process known as neuroplasticity—using techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, biofeedback training, cognitive reframing and cognitive rehearsal.

The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius once wrote, “Thou must be like a promontory of the sea, against which, though the waves beat continually, yet it both itself stands, and about it are those swelling waves stilled and quieted.” For some people, stress and adversity are to be avoided at all costs; for others, adversity will be accepted and even embraced as an opportunity for growth. Which person are you?

George S. Everly, Jr., PhD, FAPA, has studied stress and human resilience for over 40 years in over 30 countries. He has received numerous national and international awards for his research and practice. Dr. Everly currently serves on the faculties of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. He is the author of 20 books.

  • Topics
  • Adversity
  • Business
  • Health
  • Mental Health
  • Psychology
  • Resilience

An indispensable guide to finance, investing and entrepreneurship.

How to create an opportunity out of adversity

People often wait for opportunities, but is it worth waiting for opportunities? My answer – No, it isn’t. First of all you can’t depend on pure luck, you never know if you will be granted with a great opportunity or not. So why do you want to be dependent on luck? Instead you could be and should be dependent on yourself. This is the only sure way you know you will be granted with an opportunity.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

Opportunities are missed by most people because they don’t realise they’ve encountered such. Here is one of those basic laws in life: There will always be opportunities for those who recognise and pursue them. The lucky people are simply those who have taken more chances than average.

Why Wait For The Opportunity? Create Opportunities By Yourself!

Know your limits. – You can’t be perfect. You can’t do everything yourself. You can’t create a business or live the life of your dreams or make a lot of money if you don’t know your weaknesses, strengths and passions. If you know your limits and what you are capable of, you will know exactly what you need. Once you begin to know yourself, you will realise your weakness and you can fill these weaknesses with others people strength.

Open your eyes. – There is a lot more happening in the world than you see. Stop listening to music all the time you are riding the bus or the train. Maybe there is someone who can change your life in that bus/train. Maybe the person sitting next to you is your next business partner or your husband/wife or your new best friend. You just never know, life is unpredictable, and that’s why you should always keep your eyes wide open. You might miss an opportunity simply because you were too busy listening to your iPod. Always be on the lookout even when doing simple activities as drinking coffee, riding the bus or walking back home.

Meet new people. – If you want to be presented with more opportunities, simply meet new people. The more people you know, the higher chances you will be presented with new experiences. Go to meetings with people having similar interests as you. Visit conferences. You can even meet people online these days; join different Facebook groups, follow people on twitter; join LinkedIn. People are not so mean as you think. Also if you are one of those people who meet a lot of people on a daily basis and have a problem remembering their names this app will help you a lot – Anki(This app will make you never forget a name, job position or age again. It does miracles.) Most people are open minded and are always looking for new friendships and connections. One of the reasons Motivationgrid had such a big growth in such a short time is because I meet new people everyday.

Don’t be afraid to ask. – Just DON’T! There is no shame in not knowing something, and there is no shame in questioning things. Do you know how I got my first job? I simply asked the manager could I work here and after he interrogated me a bit he said; Yes. So I found a job by simply asking a question in a company that wasn’t looking for employees. Most people would gladly help you if you asked them nicely for some help. People are not monsters, most of us are good and kind. You just have to ask the right way.

Don’t be afraid to try a different approach. – In Bulgaria(the country I am from) blogging is not something people make money out of. Here most people don’t even know what blogging is and when I decided I wanted to blog, people laughed at me and told me to find myself a serious job. But I didn’t think so; I knew I could create a successful blog myself and that all happened thanks to the steps I mentioned above. And in the end I did. Now I am earning x5 more than what my friends are earning. I am working from home, I work when I want to and I haven’t even mentioned the best thing yet – I am doing something meaningful; I am helping people and I love that. I simply love what I do. Why? Because I wasn’t afraid to go out of the box. Just because the masses of people think something is wrong, doesn’t mean they are right.

Travel. – You should visit different places at least one time a year. This way you will surely as well meet new people and also might be presented with an opportunity that simply doesn’t exist at your hometown. A friend of mine went for a vacation at Rome, but he never came back. He found a job there and he liked it so much that he decided to stay in Rome.

Build self confidence. – You can’t make people follow you if you don’t look confident. That’s why you need confidence, you need to be sure 120% the things will workout right in the end if you want other people to believe you as well. It might be fake confidence, but you need to have it. Most people follow the leaders even when they make bad decisions simply because of their leadership status. And if you could make people follow you, you will surely be able to create a lot of opportunities for yourself/ your company/ your work place.

Keep learning. – Learning is a process that never ends. You can always learn something new. Always maintain the attitude of student. If you think you are done learning, bitterness set in, but if you have more to achieve every day, in any arena, that makes each morning’s awakening full of potential and cheery portent.

In the end it all comes to doing. You will never get presented with opportunities by sitting and watching TV all day. Go out, feel, see, be and take part of live. If you are active and always on the lookout you will always end up on the right place in the right moment.

We see opportunities as opportunities only when we are ready to see them, otherwise we see them as difficulties. – Hristiqn Nikolov

Adversity is one of the most powerful forces in life. It can bring out your best or your worst. Ultimately, it is up to you.

How will you handle obstacles? Will they be roadblocks or springboards? Will adversity turn your focus from getter better to getting bitter? Or will you see adversity-laced setbacks as true gifts and growth accelerators that provide the opportunity to believe in yourself, revitalize your commitment to what you want to achieve, and reassess what you are willing to sacrifice to make it happen?

I have seen the approach to adversity play out in all walks of life and unfortunately the most common response to adversity is to try and make it go away. The reality is that when you take away adversity you also take away one of the most important ingredients to greatness.

Nowhere is the effect of trying to eliminate adversity more telling that in youth sports. Well-intentioned parents often try to level the field for their children so they get a fair shake, get their chance, or even worse, see the athletic success of their children connected to their success as a parent.

In the worst of cases, the attitude develops that the world is an unfair place that they can’t do much about which allows adversity and adversity-rich experiences to lead to a victim mentality. When adversity is avoided or kept from us, it prevents the rich roots of character, learning, resilience, creativity and conviction to germinate.

Adversity plays a vital role in growth and greatness. In simple terms: no adversity, no growth. Instead of avoiding adversity, we need to hug it! It is the fuel for greatness.

You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to enjoy it. But, you do have to believe in it and the role it plays in turning a storm of energy into a true source of strength. It is the learning that comes from the adversity that creates the opportunity for growth.

Here are 7 key ways to reframe adversity as a close friend rather than a fierce enemy.

  1. Build Character—Overcoming adversity is character building. It shapes us into who we are and who we will become. It creates the confidence to overcome and the learning mechanisms to deal with the things that don’t go our way.
  2. Create Resilience—Learning to deal with and address adversity is what creates resilience. Every challenge we face and navigate strengthens our will, confidence, and our ability to conquer future obstacles.
  3. Learn from Discomfort—Regardless how sharp, clever or talented we are, we will encounter struggles, challenges, difficulties, and at times, heart-wrenching moments. Is this to be avoided? adversity resounding, NO!. In times of adversity, we learn the most from the discomfort and rethink what’s required to be successful.
  4. Draw Out Our True Strengths—Adversity has the effect of drawing out our strengths and qualities that would have laid dormant without it.
  5. Accept It—Accept that adversity is inevitable . it is a part of life. To avoid it or resist it will only make it come back in bigger ways. Better yet see it and embrace it as a true gift on the road to getting better.
  6. Build External Resources. Adversity helps us find a buddy. You will be surprised how often someone will have had a similar experience and can help guide you through a difficult time.
  7. We Succeed Because of It—Make no mistake. We don’t succeed in spite of our challenges, we succeed because of them!

There is something powerful about adversity that has the ability to imprint in our memory, shaping our character, and molding our behavior for the future.

Once you can get your head around why adversity can be a force for good, you will be better able to embrace challenges and grow from overcoming them. The impact on your people and your organization can be enormous, so start that mindset shift today!

In the words of Henry Ford—“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it”.

How to create new Opportunity in salesforce : In this salesforce tutorial we are going to create new opportunity in salesforce. In our previous crm salesforce training tutorial we have learned how to create new email template in salesforce.

Opportunities plays major role in an organization because they represents sales and potential sales. Opportunities may have quotes, proposals and orders.

Creating opportunity takes place when a customer contacts salesperson for a product and interested to purchase the product. Then salesperson creates an opportunity with Account information, address information and additional information. This opportunity is linked to campaigns to increase the effectiveness of the sales in a company.

How to create new opportunity in salesforce.

To create new opportunity in salesforce go Opportunity tab.

How to create new Opportunity in salesforce.

Select opportunity as shown above and select new button.

How to create new Opportunity in salesforce.

To create new opportunity in salesforce some required fields are to be entered. Required fields like Opportunity name, Close date, stage and the remain fields are not required field they may entered or may not be entered.

How to create new Opportunity in salesforce.

Enter Opportunity name, close date, account name, opportunity stage. You may also enter additional information and description information.

Select Save

How to create an opportunity out of adversity

How to create new Opportunity in salesforce.

After saving the opportunity we are taken to detailed view of the opportunity observe the field as shown above. While creating opportunity in salesforce we can include stage and probability fields to estimate the likelihood of the completing a successful sales. The probability for various stages can be set by administrator.

The greatest Success stories were created by the people who recognized a Problem and then turned it into an Opportunity”!

Every individual has a dream of being successful. Every person has certain ambitions which they set their eyes onto. They work day and night with the ultimate aim of reaching their objective. They make sure they don’t leave any stone unturned and give in their maximum effort because after all, it’s their own dream. Be it entrepreneurs, sportsmen, politicians or any other professional, every opportunity is grabbed by all to take a step towards their success. But sometimes, unknowingly a person by sheer hard work and dedication manages to create an opportunity out of nothing at all.

How to create an opportunity out of adversity

People always want to lead a successful life and wish to have their desires fulfilled. Hard work, luck, efficiency and dedication ensure almost everyone takes a step in the right direction. But unforeseen circumstances, personal tragedies or even simple bad luck can abruptly end a person’s glorious journey. For people in their comfort zone, it becomes a mental hurdle which they succeed to overcome and the pressure of failure further hurts them. While most of the people are setback, a few who despite all odds set against them, jump in the world of problems and eventually find out a way to even solve them.

Problem can always arise in the form of financial upsets, personal tragedies or even being cheated. And when all of a sudden a person faces an adversity, the first reaction is to take evasive action, and by doing so they create more problems. People should instill self belief and self confidence in their own abilities by self assessment. They must realize that no matter how bad a problem is, their knowledge, skills, education and experience would always be theirs. They just need to motivate and push themselves beyond their limits to convert this challenge into an opportunity.

There are a few people, who have looked beyond pain, fear and defeat, and have used their downfall as a source of motivation to perform better and create their problem to an opportunity. A few examples are quoted below.

Ratan Tata faced a few crises in his career which were major setbacks in his glorious journey. Tata Nano manufacturing plant, a dream venture was a failure at the last moment, as permission of being setup in Singur, Bengal was denied. But rather than losing hope, Ratan Tata fought his way through adversity and set up the plant in Gujarat. Another incident was the terror strike at Taj hotel in Mumbai, which not only caused financial problems but was also an emotional trauma. But despite all odds, within one year, the prestigious hotel again became the heart of Mumbai.

Henry Ford, failed and went broke five times but his persistence lead to the foundation of automobile giants Ford. Bill Gates was troubled and was a drop out of Harvard, but his skills, self belief and knowledge enabled him to create a global empire of Microsoft. Walt Disney too was fired from his job as he lacked innovation and creativity, but he turned this into an opportunity and created the magic of Disney. Iconic Indian film star Amitabh Bachchan also faced a disastrous phase in his career but took the opportunity with a never say die attitude to triumph against the odds.

One more example that stands out is Steve Jobs. He founded Apple but he was thrown out of his own Apple when some other firm acquired it. But then we all know Steve’s Apple had to bring him back.

Facing problems is a part of every person’s life. People should also accept failure as it helps them being firmly placed on the ground. Problems should not be a graveyard of ambitions but it should be an opportunity to battle it out against the odds and rise from the ashes.

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There are no open doors to the temple of success. Everyone who enters must forge his own way. Success waits patiently for anyone who has fortitude and determination to seize his share of the American dream.

You must remember that it is you who creates your own opportunities not fate, luck, or chance.

Lack of opportunity is ever the excuse of the poorly directed. Every life is full of opportunity.

George Bernard Shaw once said: “God has given us a world that nothing but our own folly keeps from being a paradise.”

In other words, we live in a world that always has the potential for affluence.

Black Man

If a slave like Fredrick Douglass can elevate himself into a orator, editor, statesman, and success business man, then what ought the poorest black child born today, who is RICH in opportunities, accomplish with his life?

Just think for a moment, if average slave who suddenly found himself free, with no food, shelter or clothing, could lift his life from the ”gutter most” to the “uttermost,” then what should the black American of today accomplish?

Think, Act, Be

In truth, opportunity first takes shape your mind. It’s expression of how you perceive yourself as well as how you perceive your enviorment. The achievers, the innovators, and the movers and shakers are those with courage and insight to say.

“Yes I can! There is a way and I will find it!”

Opportunities abound! YOU ARE OPPORTUNITY! You must stop complaining about your unfortunate past or bad luck and realize the opportunities that exist around you now.

Self Help

Is the offspring of adversity, the progeny of defeat. The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual.

If you rely on others for help, you lose the stimulus to improve yourself , which in effect renders you comparatively helpless. Put forth the effort, and practically anything you desire is yours.

When opportunity is seized, self help is simultaneously activated. The path of greatness and success is paved with self reliance.

Self reliance plus determination times persistence is omnipotent.

Nothing can stop you!

Bet on yourself and make your dreams a reality!

How to do a home soil test

These tests will help determine your soil´s properties

How to do a home soil test

The Spruce / Kelly Miller

Learning as much as you can about your soil will help you decide what needs to be done to make it ideal for the plants you want to grow. If you can learn about your soil’s texture, composition, drainage, acidity, and mineral density, you will avoid, up front, the disappointing results that can occur when your soil is unsuitable for your dream garden.

Soil Test 1: The Squeeze Test

One of the most basic characteristics of soil is its composition. In general, soils are classified as clay soils, sandy soils, or loamy soils. Clay is nutrient-rich, but slow draining. Sand is quick draining but has trouble retaining nutrients and moisture. Loam is generally considered to be ideal soil because it retains moisture and nutrients but doesn’t stay soggy.

To determine your soil type, take a handful of moist (but not wet) soil from your garden, and give it a firm squeeze. Then, open your hand. One of three things will happen:

  1. It will hold its shape, and when you give it a light poke, it crumbles. Lucky you—this means you have luxurious loam!
  2. It will hold its shape, and, when poked, sits stubbornly in your hand. This means you have clay soil.
  3. It will fall apart as soon as you open your hand. This means you have sandy soil.

Now that you know what type of soil you have, you can work on improving it.

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The Spruce / Jayme Burrows

Soil Test 2: The Percolation Test

It is also important to determine whether you have drainage problems or not. Some plants, such as certain culinary herbs, will eventually die if their roots stay too wet. To test your soil’s drainage:

  1. Dig a hole about six inches wide and one foot deep.
  2. Fill the hole with water and let it drain completely.
  3. Fill it with water again.
  4. Keep track of how long it takes for the water to drain.

If the water takes more than four hours to drain, you have poor drainage.

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The Spruce / Jayme Burrows

Soil Test 3: The Worm Test

Worms are great indicators of the overall health of your soil, especially in terms of biological activity. If you have earthworms, chances are that you also have all of the beneficial microbes and bacteria that make for healthy soil and strong plants. To do the worm test:

  1. Be sure the soil has warmed to at least 55 degrees, and that it is at least somewhat moist, but not soaking wet.
  2. Dig a hole one foot across and one foot deep. Place the soil on a tarp or piece of cardboard.
  3. Sift through the soil with your hands as you place it back into the hole, counting the earthworms as you go.

If you find at least ten worms, your soil is in pretty good shape. Less than that indicates that there may not be enough organic matter in your soil to support a healthy worm population, or that your soil is too acidic or alkaline.

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The Spruce / Jayme Burrows

Soil Test 4: Ph Test

The Ph (acidity level) of your soil has a lot to do with how well your plants grow. Ph is tested on a scale of zero to 14, with zero being very acidic and 14 being very alkaline. Most plants grow best in soil with a fairly neutral Ph, between six and seven. When the Ph level is lower than five or higher than eight, plants just won’t grow as well as they should.

Every home and garden center carries Ph test kits. These kits are fairly accurate, but you must make sure you follow the testing instructions precisely. Once you know whether your soil Ph is a problem or not, you can begin working to correct the problem.

If you find that you’ve done all of these tests, and amended the soil as needed to correct the issues, and your plants are still struggling along, the next step is to contact your local cooperative extension service. They will tell you how to go about collecting a soil sample and sending it into their lab for analysis. They will return a report that will alert you to any mineral deficiencies in your soil, as well as steps to correct the issues.

These tests are simple, inexpensive ways to ensure that your garden has the best foundation possible.

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Everything You Need to Know About Lawn Soil Testing

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Not All Soil is the Same

All lawn soils pose their own unique challenges, so the first step to a healthy lawn routine is understanding what your lawn soil is made of. A soil test will also indicate your soil’s current pH, macronutrients, and micronutrients that naturally exist in your lawn. Having this unique baseline data will tell you what to add to achieve the correct pH and nutrient levels with strategies like soil amendments, as well as help you choose the proper fertilizer.

pH is the amount of amount of acidity or alkalinity in your soil on a scale from 0-14 (0 being the most acidic, 14 being the most alkaline). The pH closely affects the availability of some of the macro and micronutrients and plant growth. An unbalanced pH can play a part in pests, such as weeds, gaining a foothold.

Macronutrients are nutrients that plants need in greater quantities, such as nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium. Macronutrients have the most impact on turf health and vigor.

Micronutrients are just as important to plant health. They are just needed in smaller quantities, like iron and zinc.

Sending Your Soil for Testing

The best way to test your soil is to send a sample to a Cooperative Extension Service (CSREES) (usually located at or affiliated with a state university) or commercial soil laboratory (search online for commercial soil-testing labs).

Kits from soil labs provide instructions for collecting soil samples and a mailing container for returning the soil. The best time to test soil is in the spring, before you add any compost or other amendments, although you can test soil any time.

How to Collect a Soil Sample

University of Minnesota Extension

  1. Use a clean, rust-free trowel to take samples from up to 10 areas of your lawn.
  2. Dig several holes in the lawn 6 to 8-inches deep.
  3. Take a slice of soil from one side of each hole, save 1 to 2-inches from the middle of the slice, and discard the sides, top, and bottom.
  4. Mix the samples, allow them to dry at room temperature, enclose a small fee, and send it all to the lab.

If your lawn has areas that range over various types of terrain (i.e., near water, rocky ledge, or imported topsoil), you should request a separate sampling kit for each area. Otherwise, the lab may recommend doses of fertilizer or soil amendments suitable for one area but not for another.

Test results will tell you what you need to add to your soil. If you have an acceptable lawn but are looking to improve it, you may spread the recommended materials over the lawn surface. If your lawn requires restoration, you should aerate the turf with a core cultivator after you have applied the amendments to the surface.

Do-It-Yourself Soil Test Kits

The costs for multiple lab tests, even at nominal lab fees, will add up quickly. If you need to make more than four or five tests on your property, you will probably want to buy your own soil test kit. Kits are available at most garden-supply or hardware stores and range from about $7 for a pH tester capable of doing 10 separate tests to about $20 for a kit that also lets you test basic nutrients (nitrogen, phosphorus, and potash). There are also more expensive kits also available; however, no kit is a substitute for professional soil testing. A kit will not tell you how much soil amendment to add to achieve desired pH or nutrient levels.

A kit is a great way to test several areas quickly to give you a general idea of your soil’s deficiencies. Once you have professional soil test results, a kit allows you to monitor the progress of the soil improvements you make.

Test Your Own Soil

  1. To test your soil, add the appropriate solution from the kit to a measured amount of the soil sample per the manufacturer’s instructions.
  2. Shake the solution well and allow the particles to settle.
  3. Match the color of the resulting solution with the color chart provided with the kit to determine pH or nutrient levels. The chart here suggests a pH of slightly more than 5 indicates acidic soil and the need for an application of lime.

Sample Test Report

Lab test reports can be confusing. Do not hesitate to call the source for help. The report will include maintenance recommendations, pH and nutrient readings, and indicates the amount of fertilizer to apply.

How to do a home soil test


Success in the garden starts with the soil. It, as much as—and sometimes more than—moisture and sunlight, determines whether plants thrive or die. Here are a few quick and easy ways to test your soil.

Your soil needs to be able to provide nutrients to plants, and allow plants to take up the nutrients in the soil. Otherwise, your plants just won’t grow well.

The Peanut Butter Jar Soil Test for Sand, Silt, and Clay

This should take about 1 hour to set up and a full day to conclude. Find an empty straight-sided jar, such as a peanut butter or mason jar, with a lid, and have a ruler handy. Dig down to root level—about 6 inches—in the area that you want to test and remove enough soil to fill the the jar to between one-third and one-half full. Next, fill the jar to the shoulder with water, then set the jar aside to let the soil soak up the water. Put the lid on the jar and shake it hard for about 3 minutes.

  1. Set the jar down and look at your watch. In 1 minute, measure (with the ruler) the amount of sediment that has collected at the bottom. This is the sand in your soil.
  2. Wait 4 minutes more. Measure the sediment again: The difference between the two numbers will be the amount of silt in your soil.
  3. Take a third measurement in 24 hours. The difference between the second and third number will be the amount of clay in your soil.

Calculate the percentages of sand, silt, and clay, which should add up to 100 percent. Healthy soil typically consists of 20 percent clay, 40 percent silt, and 40 percent sand.

This simple test can help you to decide what to grow: If your soil is high in sand, it will be well-draining. Silt and clay are hard to get wet, but they stay wet; plants that like “wet feet” would be happy here. Choose your plants accordingly and/or amend the soil:

  • If you have sandy soil, add humus or aged manure, peat moss, or sawdust with some extra nitrogen. Heavy, clay-rich soil can also be added to improve the soil.
  • If you have silty soil, add coarse sand (not beach sand) or gravel and compost, or well-rotted horse manure mixed with fresh straw.
  • If you have clay soil, add coarse sand (not beach sand), compost, and peat moss.

The Pantry pH Test for Soil Acidity or Alkalinity

  1. Place 2 tablespoons of soil in a bowl and add ½ cup vinegar. If the mixture fizzes, you have alkaline soil.
  2. Place 2 tablespoons of soil in a bowl and moisten it with distilled water. Add ½ cup baking soda. If the mixture fizzes, you have acidic soil.
  • If it does not react to either test, the soil has a neutral pH.
  • A very high or very low soil pH may result in plant nutrient deficiency or toxicity.
  • A pH value of 7 is neutral; microbial activity is greatest and plant roots absorb/access nutrients best when the pH is in the 5.5 to 7 range.

Once you figure out your soil pH, you can change or adjust it. Acidic (sour) soil is counteracted by applying finely ground limestone, and alkaline (sweet) soil is treated with ground sulfur.

The Earthworm Test to Gauge Organic Matter

The best time to check for earthworms is in the spring when the soil’s temperature has reached 50°F and its surface is moist. Use a shovel to dig up about 1 cubic foot of soil. Put the soil on a piece of cardboard, break it apart, and look for earthworms. Learn more about the wonderful world of earthworms.

If your soil is healthy, you’ll find at least 10 earthworms!

If your soil has fewer than 10 worms, add more organic matter—compost, aged manure, leaf mold. Organic matter improves structure, slowly releases nutrients, and increases beneficial microbial activity.

Test for Acid/Alkaline Soil With Household Materials

Erin Huffstetler is a writer with experience writing about easy ways to save money at home.

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How to do a home soil test

The Spruce / Almar Creative

Most plants have a preference for the degree of acidity or alkalinity in the soil, which is measured by a pH scale that ranges from 0 (extremely acidic) to 14 (extremely alkaline). Most garden soil across North America is naturally slightly acidic, falling in the 6.0 to 7.0 range and the vast majority of plants do fairly well in this range. But if you have soil that falls outside this range, you may find that you have trouble growing garden plants, vegetables, or even lawn grass.

And there are some trees, shrubs, and flowers—such as hawthorne, lilac, and lavender—that prefer a more alkaline soil than this. There are also some acid-lovers, such as azalea shrubs, spruce trees, and camellias, that like much more acidic soil.

A first step for new gardeners, or those seeking to grow new, unfamiliar plants, is to test the soil. It is possible to test soil pH by taking a soil sample and sending it away to a lab for analysis, or by using a pricey test kit you purchase. But a simple DIY test will give you immediate results and is easy to assemble and use. The whole process will take just 15 minutes or less. The results aren’t as precise as a laboratory test, but it will give you a ballpark idea if your soil is acidic or alkaline. An extreme reaction in either direction tells you that you may need to amend your soil to bring it into an ideal pH range for the plants you want to grow.

When to Test for Soil pH

It is a good idea to test the soil whenever you are planting a new garden bed or when growing a new plant variety that may have unique pH needs. Some experts recommend that gardeners test the soil every few years, especially if you have needed to amend the soil in the past. The materials used to adjust soil pH, such as elemental sulfur (used to lower soil pH), or lime (used to raise soil pH) will break down over time, and additonal amendment may be required to keep the pH level at optimal levels.

Video Playback Not Supported

You can conduct your own simple soil test using common household ingredients to find out if the ph of the soil in your yard or garden is acidic or alkaline. Acidity or alkalinity is measured on a scale ranging from 0 (most acidic) to 14 (most alkaline) with 7 being neutral. Most plants prefer soil in the neutral to slightly acidic range (pH of 6-7).

How to Perform a Homemade Soil Test

  1. Put a soil sample in two small containers.

While not as accurate as a professional soil test, this simple homemade soil test will tell you whether your soil is generally acidic or alkaline. Watch this video to find out more.

Further Information

  • Soil Test (video)
  • Soil Evaluation (video)
  • How to Correct Soil pH in Your Yard (article)
  • What Is the Right Soil pH for Your Lawn or Garden (article)
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  • acid
  • acidity
  • alkaline
  • alkalinity
  • base
  • pH
  • soil test


Its seems to be well with the experience of the test conducted by kitchen instruments. please is there a manual for this testing. .so what kind of water is it a distilled water, what must be the structure of a soil which is alkaline or acidic?A sand soil could be acidic or alkaline? where i live some of the water used by the community is salty. maybe this indicates that the soil might be acidic. so if it is acidic what are the recomended ingredients?

How to do a home soil test

Getting a soil test is a great way to measure its health and fertility. These tests are generally inexpensive, though well worth any cost when it comes to growing and maintaining healthy plants in the garden. So how often should you do a soil test and what does a soil test show? To answer these questions, it may help to learn more about the soil testing process in general.

Why Test Soil in the Garden?

Most soil nutrients are readily found in the soil provided that its pH level is within the 6 to 6.5 range. However, when the pH level rises, many nutrients (like phosphorus, iron, etc.) may become less available. When it drops, they may even reach toxic levels, which can adversely affect the plants.

Getting a soil test can help take the guesswork out of fixing any of these nutrient issues. There’s no need to spend money on fertilizers that aren’t necessary. There’s no worry of over fertilizing plants either. With a soil test, you’ll have the means for creating a healthy soil environment that will lead to maximum plant growth.

What Does a Soil Test Show?

A soil test can determine the current fertility and health of your soil. By measuring both the pH level and pinpointing nutrient deficiencies, a soil test can provide the information necessary for maintaining the most optimal fertility each year.

Most plants, including grasses, flowers, and vegetables, perform best in slightly acidic soil (6.0 to 6.5). Others, like azaleas, gardenias, and blueberries, require a somewhat higher acidity in order to thrive. Therefore, having a soil test can make it easier to determine the current acidity so you can make the appropriate adjustments. It will also allow you to fix any deficiencies that may be present.

How Often Do You Do a Soil Test?

Soil samples can be taken at any time of the year, with fall being preferable. They are normally taken annually or simply as needed. While many companies or gardening centers offer soil testing kits, you can usually obtain a soil test for free or low cost through your local county extension office. Alternatively, UMASS Soil and Plant Tissue Testing Laboratory allows you to mail a soil sample in and they will send a soil report back based on your soil test results.

Avoid having the soil tested whenever the soil is wet or when it’s been recently fertilized. To take a sample for testing garden soil, use a small trowel to take thin slices of soil from various areas of the garden (about a cup’s worth each). Allow it to air dry at room temperature and then place it into a clean plastic container or Ziploc baggie. Label the soil area and date for testing.

Now that you know the importance of getting a soil test, you can better manage your garden plants by making the appropriate adjustments from your soil test results. Take the guesswork out of fertilizing by testing garden soil today.

  • How to do a home soil test

  • How to do a home soil test

I want to test my soil in preparation for spring planting without sending samples off to a lab. How accurate are the results from home test kits?

You can test your soil at home with three different types of soil pH testers: chemical colored dyes, pH test strips, and electronic pH meters. In each case, you’ll need to take some of your soil and mix it with water or a provided buffer solution. Each of these options will give you a different degree of accuracy.

After chemical colored dyes are combined with the soil-water mixture, the resulting color can be compared to the kit’s accompanying chart to determine the pH level. This type of test is very easy to use, but often produces inaccurate results.

pH test strips are advanced versions of litmus paper. They’re more accurate than litmus paper because they have several color spots on each strip. Accuracy will depend on the range they cover, the number of colored spots, and the general quality of the product. Because the important pH range for soil is between 5.0 and 8.0, test strips covering this range are better than ones covering a wider range. A product with a range of 0.0 to 14.0 is quite useless for soil. A larger number of color spots produce better accuracy at a higher cost. Quality is very much price-related.

Finally, a variety of garden-quality electronic pH meters are available. After the attached probe is inserted into the soil-water mixture, users can read the pH directly from the display. The cheap models come with a metallic probe, and the instructions suggest that you insert the probe directly into the soil. This is certainly more convenient, but you’ll never get a useful reading without first making the soil-water solution as described above.

pH is the measure of acidity and is reported as a number between 0.0 and 14.0. Anything below 7.0 is acidic, and anything above 7.0 is alkaline. A value of 7.0 is neutral. pH is measured on a logarithmic scale, which means that a pH of 5.0 is 10 times more acidic than a pH of 6.0. For this reason, pH needs to be measured to one decimal place to be of any real value to gardeners. None of the pH testers mentioned above provide this kind of accuracy.

So, will you need an accurate reading of your soil’s pH? That depends on what you plan to do with the information. If you want to know the pH to help you select plants for your garden, then you won’t need an accurate value. You’ll simply need to know whether your soil is very acidic, slightly acidic to neutral, or alkaline. Most plants grow quite well in a wide range of pH values. The majority of plants will grow in slightly acidic to slightly alkaline soil. That’s a range of approximately 6.0 to 7.5, which is the pH of many soils.

You can also get a good idea of your soil’s pH by talking to local gardeners. Have they had success with acid-loving plants, such as rhododendrons, azaleas, and blueberry bushes? If so, the local soil is very acidic. If not, the local soil is probably slightly acidic or alkaline. You won’t need more accuracy than that to select plants.

Accuracy will become more important if you want to change the pH of your soil. Remember, a pH change of 1.0 is actually an acidity change of 10, so you could over- or under-treat your soil if you don’t start with an accurate pH.

Maintaining a changed pH is difficult and requires annual attention. The soil you already have supports thousands of different plants, so consider selecting plants that will already grow in your soil. Doing so will be less work for you and better for the plants, and you won’t need to test the pH of your soil.

Soil is the foundation of your garden. Knowing what makes up your soil — and how to properly amend it to be the best that it can be — will help make sure your plants thrive this spring. These easy soil tests will help.

Soil tests generally will show the amounts of nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium in your soil, as well as secondary nutrients like calcium, sulfur and magnesium and a number of minor nutrients as well. If you contact your local cooperative extension, you can get a free soil test that will break down the nutrients, composition and acidity of your dirt. Your cooperative extension will also test the soil for potential contaminants like lead.

But even before you send your soil off to the experts, there are easy soil tests you can do with your own hands to just get an idea of what you are working with. Here are a few soil tests you can do today to help identify any major problem areas in your garden.

The squeeze test

This simple soil classification test brings a whole new meaning to getting your hands dirty. Soils are generally classified as clay soils, sandy soils or loamy soils, and you can quickly assess what category your soil falls into with this simple test.

Take a handful of moist, not wet, soil from your garden. Squeeze it tightly, and then open your hand.

If it holds its shape but crumbles with a gentle poke, you likely have loamy soil, which is ideal for retaining moisture and nutrients.

If it continues to hold its shape even after you poke it with your finger, your soil is probably made of nutrient-rich but slow-draining clay. You can help break up the soil with mulches and drainage aids like perlite and vermiculite.

If the soil falls apart as soon as you open your hand, it is sandy, which has trouble holding in nutrients and moisture but drains easily. You will probably need to add a nutrient-rich compost and mulch to help your plot retain moisture.

The puddle test

Another important aspect of your soil is drainage, which allows water to pass through quickly without pooling. If your soil has poor drainage, the roots of your plant can rot. Culinary herbs are especially susceptible to root rot from improperly drained soil.

To test your soil drainage, dig a hole about six inches wide and one foot deep. Fill the hole with water, let it soak in completely and then refill it with water. Keep track of how long it takes for the second pool of water to drain. If it takes more than a few hours, you likely have a drainage issue with your soil the water takes more than four hours to drain, you have poor drainage, which can be amended with proper compost and mulch along with drainage aids like perlite, vermiculite or even sand.

The worm test

Healthy soil is biologically active. An abundance of worms is a surefire sign of a healthy environment with all the right microbes and bacteria for plants to thrive.

Dig a hole one foot across and one foot deep and place the dug up soil on a tarp or sheet of cardboard. Sift through the soil with your hands as you place it back into the hole, counting the worms as you go.

If you find at least 10 worms, consider yourself lucky and your soil healthy. Any less, and there may not be enough organic matter in your soil, or perhaps your soil might be too acidic or alkaline. You will need an official soil test to pinpoint the problem and figure out how to solve it.

The wire test

Soil that’s too compact will inhibit root growth, choke off available water and prevent worms and other vital soil critters from moving freely.

To test your soil compaction, plunge a wire flag vertically into the soil. Mark the depth at which the wire bends, where it can no longer be pushed down straight. Ideally, you will be able to easily push the wire down a foot or more. The sooner it bends, the more compacted the soil. To help ease compaction, you can amend the soil with organic material and aerating inorganic materials and avoid walking on plots when the soil is wet.

The vinegar and baking soda test

The acidity or alkalinity of your soil, or pH, is important. Some plants thrive better in more basic or more acidic soil, but soil that’s too extreme at either end will prevent your plants from getting nutrients. It can even poison them.

One easy way to determine the pH of your soil is to test it with vinegar and baking soda. Collect a cup of soil from different parts of your garden and divide it into two separate containers. Add half a cup of vinegar to one container with the soil. If it fizzes, you likely have alkaline soil with a higher pH, which may need a fertilizer that is higher in sulfur and acidifying nitrogen. Some plants tolerate alkaline soil, and others like parsnips and peanuts will thrive in the “sweet” soil.

If your soil does not fizz after doing the vinegar test, then add distilled water to the other container the soil is a little muddy. Then, add half a cup of baking soda. If it fizzes, you have likely have acidic soil with a lower pH. Some acid-loving plants like blueberries and cranberries prefer this kind of soil. Otherwise, pulverized limestone will help neutralize the soil.

If your soil does not react at all, then you may be lucky enough to have neutral with a pH of 7. Most plants thrive with this soil composition, but check with your local cooperative extension to be sure you are using the best plants for the pH of your plot.

The cabbage test

If you are looking to get a more accurate reading of where your soil stands on the spectrum of acid to alkaline, you can either purchase a home testing kit or use this slightly more advanced DIY test using red cabbage.

Red cabbage contains a pigment called flavin, which not only dissolves in water, but also will turn red in acidic solutions and greenish-yellow in basic solutions (neutral solutions will result in a purplish color).

Let one tablespoon of soil from your garden dry on a white saucer or plate. Meanwhile, bring 1 cup of distilled water to a boil in a pot with a lid. Add two cups of chopped red cabbage into the boiling water, cover and boil until the water turns dark purple.

Pour the mixture through a colander to remove the chunks of cabbage. Let the solution cool.

Use the dropper to add enough cabbage water to thoroughly wet the soil. Allow to sit for a minute, then tip the saucer so the water runs to the side. If it is blue or green, the soil is alkaline. If it is red, the soil is acidic. If the color of the water drained from the soil is purple or purple-blue, it means the soil pH is neutral, which is ideal for most plants.

When it comes to figuring out exactly what your soil needs to thrive, these tests are not a substitute for a complete report from your cooperative extension, but they will help you get an idea of what you are working with and become better connected to the foundation of your garden.

How to do a home soil test

Sam Schipani loves pollinators, fresh herbs, and learning how to live more sustainably in small spaces. She has previously written for Sierra, Smithsonian, Earth Island Journal, and American Farm Publications.

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

Last Updated: April 5, 2021 References

This article was co-authored by Liana Georgoulis, PsyD. Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years of experience, and is now the Clinical Director at Coast Psychological Services in Los Angeles, California. She received her Doctor of Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2009. Her practice provides cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples.

This article has been viewed 9,073 times.

Sometimes you may react in a way that seems unhealthy because it makes you feel worse than before. Emotions themselves are not “healthy” or “unhealthy” but rather it is our response and behaviors thereafter that make us feel that this situation is either good or bad. Try to focus on handling challenges in a more effective way. Be willing to communicate your emotions in a clear and polite way. Avoid overreacting or becoming overly anxious. In these ways, you can slowly transform unhealthy responses into healthier ones.

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 6 September 2018.

  • One way to embrace your emotions by learning to identify them, such as by picking up your own physical cues. When you have identified the emotion, process what you are feeling and thinking, either by writing about it or discussing it with a trusted friend.
  • Know that there are no unhealthy emotions. Instead, it is what we do with those emotions and how we cope with them that matters
  • For example, let’s say that you just became tearful after a really big fight with your friend. You may be worried about your friend, your friendship, or your future. While you may not want to be crying, your feelings of sadness can guide you to figure out what really matters.


Avoiding Unhealthy Emotional Reactions

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

  • Consider stepping away from a heated situation or argument.
  • Think before you react. Try setting a five-second rule, in which you must wait five seconds before responding. Take a deep breath, and think about what you’re feeling before you react. Think about the possible consequences of those emotions that seem out-of-control.
  • Figure out if you are chronically aggressive or combative with others. Are you often apologizing for your behavior, or have others commented on your temper? While being angry from time to time is a part of life, chronic stress and anger can be physically and emotionally draining on you and those around you. Consider talking with a professional if your anger appears to be affecting your work or personal life.

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

  • Do you avoid calls or texts from certain people with whom you are supposed to be close? Do you wait until the situation is unbearable before speaking up? Do you find you often grow apart from people?
  • Try to understand where your fear or anxiety comes from. Does a person or situation trigger you to be passive or avoidant? These emotions may be natural if you have a dysfunctional relationship with someone.
  • For example, let’s say that you avoid talking to your sister or seeing her at family gatherings. Maybe this occurs because you’ve had many arguments before. She may make you feel unwelcome or put you down about what you do. While these avoidant emotions may seem unhealthy, it is actually more about the unhealthy relationship you have with your sister.
  • Focus on leaving your emotional baggage behind. This can help you feel more empowered and less passive. The less you focus on past grudges, the healthier you will be. Work with a therapist to help you let go and more on.

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

  • When you’re anxious, you may have racing thoughts. You may feel sweaty. Your heart rate may go up. You may also be more fidgety. These are signs that you need to slow down and step back from this moment.
  • If you’re chronically stressed or upset, you may be more prone to getting sick, feeling tired, and having difficulty with sleeping. Give yourself time to relax and heal from stress and illness.
  • When you’re feeling good, listen to your body in these times too. Notice how you may feel more energized, refreshed, and able to concentrate. By paying more attention to your body, you can better understand how your mind and body are working together to create various emotional responses.

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

  • While it’s okay to be upset, anxious, or sad, a healthy emotional response will involve intense emotions that dissipate over a short period of time. You should be able to go back to your normal responsibilities, like school, work, and family care relatively soon. If your entire life is disrupted by your emotions, then you should speak with your doctor or therapist.
  • From time to time, everyone can get upset, anxious, or sad. A healthy emotional reaction to negative things would last no more than a few hours or days. It’s not so healthy when it lasts for weeks or longer.

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

It isn’t easy to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy anxiety. Few emotions conjure more definitional confusion than anxiety.

Websters Dictionary defines anxiety as “apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill: a state of being anxious.” A rare few of us hasn’t felt this normal human emotion, so ubiquitous is its experience.

But anxiety is also a class of psychopathology driving more than 25 diagnoses that span nearly 100 pages in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM5), the diagnostic measuring tool for psychological disorders.

So what is it? Healthy or unhealthy?

Like to so many constructed dichotomies, the answer to this one is: it depends.

Anxiety can be both healthy and unhealthy. And telling the difference largely depends on how it impacts you, what you think about it, and what you do with it.

The best way on how to deal with anxiety is by measuring it across these 3 variables to help you determine when anxiety is healthy and when it isn’t:

1. How does anxiety impact you?

Conventional thought has held that it is the amount and severity of anxiety that determines whether it is healthy or not. Too much anxiety is generally unhealthy, whereas some anxiety can be helpful, and even healthy. But assessing anxiety’s healthiness has more to do with its impact on your life, than its severity.

Indeed the DSM5 uses a threshold rather than severity model to determine pathology: when symptoms start cause impairment in your life and functioning, symptoms are considered disordered.

Impact, rather than severity, is an important key to evaluating anxiety’s role in your life.

2. How do you understand anxiety?

As we learn more about anxiety and stress, our understanding is evolving. Science is now suggesting symptoms’ negative impact is significantly determined by how we think about it.

Biologically aligned with stress, the science of anxiety very often overlaps with the science of stress, especially with regard to animal studies. A notable recent study of the health effects of stress has demonstrated the amount of stress matters less than how you view it and what you do with it.

These data suggest important implications for anxiety: how we think about it and what we do with it may matter more than how much we have of it.

If you think your anxiety is unhealthy, it probably is. And not just because you’re super self-aware, but because your fear of it makes it so. Fearing our anxiety tends to escalate it, whereas thinking positively about anxiety can make it useful.

With what we know about anxiety, it is not a stretch to say that how we think about it can determine whether it is healthy or unhealthy.

3. What do you do with your anxiety?

This is perhaps the most important part — the doing. How do you use your anxiety, and what do you do with it?

Anxiety can alert you to the things you care about and fuel your motivation to act or alert you to fears beyond your control that fuel rumination, withdrawal, and more fear.

The difference between these two types of anxiety lies in how you think about it, and ultimately what you do with it.

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According to new research, anxious people may be more alert to taking action, “able to react swiftly and efficiently when faced with dangerous situations.”

When we don’t use anxiety to solve problems, but instead let it fester and scare us into feeling more fear and anxiety, we turn it against itself and transform it into something harmful.

Knowing that anxiety naturally primes us to problem-solve and take protective action can help us channel its energy into solutions.

Your answers to these three questions will hopefully help you determine how anxiety is operating in your life and whether it is healthy. How we think about anxiety and what we do with it are so critical to how it impacts us.

If you aren’t happy with how anxiety is operating in your life, notice what isn’t working, and use your anxiety to fuel problem-solving. Your first action step just might be changing your thinking about it, or perhaps changing what you do with it.

The good news is that taking a close look at your anxiety — healthy or unhealthy — is the first step in taking control of it and ultimately using it to your advantage.

Looking for a bit more help managing your anxiety? Check out Dr. Clark’s new book, Hack Your Anxiety, chock full of tried and true tips from the latest science, and years in the trenches.

Watch Aneysha Bhat’s TED Talk on anxiety and how to fight the stigma associated with it.

YourTango may earn an affiliate commission if you buy something through links featured in this article.

This article was originally published at Dr. Alicia Clark’s blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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Thoughts and attitudes have an impact on the way you feel. Your emotions result more from the way you view things than from what happens to you. That simple idea can help you change the way you think and feel. In today’s lecture, you’ll learn more about the nuts and bolts of doing this.

However, before we go too far with this, we need to back track just a bit. When should we change our negative feelings? Are all negative feelings bad? Are some negative feelings normal and healthy? Should we try to be happy all the time?

I believe that some negative feelings are healthy and some negative feelings are unhealthy. For every negative emotion, there’s a healthy and an unhealthy version. Healthy sadness is not the same as clinical depression. Healthy fear is not the same as neurotic guilt. Healthy, constructive anger is not the same as unhealthy, destructive anger. And so fourth.

For example, if a loved one dies, it’s healthy to grieve and to share your feelings with friends and family members. Your sadness in the expression of the love that you felt for that person, and the feelings of loss will naturally disappear after a period of time. Clinical depression is very different.

What are some of the differences between healthy sadness and depression? I have listed them below. Think about this question a little bit before you look. What’s your perception?

(Note: The paperwork that i received in class came with a table to obviously separate the comparing example. So, I had to tweak the format a little bit. The first sentence in each example is the healthy version of the emotion being discussed. The second sentence is the unhealthy version of the emotion being discussed.)

Characteristics of Healthy Sadness VS Characteristics of Depression

  1. You are sad but don’t feel a loss of self-esteem. VS You feel a loss of self-esteem
  2. Your negative feelings are an appropriate reaction to an upsetting event VS Your negative feelings are far out of proportion to the event that triggered your bad mood.
  3. Your feelings go away after a period of time. VS Your feelings may go on and on endlessly.
  4. Although you feel sad, you do not feel discouraged about the future. VS You feel demoralized and convinced that things will never get better.
  5. You continue to be productively involved with life. VS You give up on life and lose interest in your friends and career.
  6. Your negative thoughts are realistic. VS Your negative thoughts are exaggerated and distorted, even though they seem valid.

What are some of the characteristics of healthy, constructive anger? How does it differ from destructive, unhealthy anger? I have listed characteristics of both below. Again, think about the differences before you look. What’s your perception?

Characteristics of Healthy, Constructive Anger VS Characteristics of Unhealthy, Destructive Anger

  1. You express your feelings in a tactful way VS you deny your feelings and pout (passive aggressive) or lash out and attack the other person (active aggression).
  2. You try to see the world through the other person’s eyes, even if you disagree. VS You argue defensively and insist there’s no validity in what the other person is saying.
  3. You convey a spirit of respect for the other person, even though you may feel quite angry with him or her. VS You believe the other person is despicable and deserving of punishment. You appear condescending or disrespectful.
  4. You do something productive and try to solve the problem. VS You give up and see yourself as a helpless victim.
  5. You try to learn from the situation so you will be wiser in the future. VS You don’t learn anything new. You feel that your view of the situation is absolutely valid.
  6. You eventually let go of the anger and feel happy again. VS Your anger becomes addictive. You won’t let go of it.
  7. You examine your own behavior to see how you may have contributed to the problem. VS You blame the other person and see yourself as an innocent victim.
  8. You believe that you and the other person both have valid ideas and feelings that deserve to be understood. VS You insist that you are entirely right and the other person is entirely wrong. You feel convinced that truth and justice are on your side.
  9. Your commitment to the other person increases. Your goal is to feel closer to him or her. VS You avoid or reject the other person. You write him or her off.
  10. You look for a solution where you can both win and nobody has to lose. VS You feel like you’re in a battle or a competition. If one person wins, you feel that the other person will be a loser.

We all have circumstances where we react in the wrong way when we are angry. No one is perfect. However, it is always a good idea to be open minded and willing to improve the way we handle situations to decrease our anger and to increase the quality of the relationships we have with others.

It is common for some people to be sad in a healthy way. However, the population of people with depression is extremely high. If we can pin point the unhealthy feeling we have, we then have a great chance to get some help and to change the way we feel. The feelings of depression are awful and they are very hard to live with.

Remember this: No one deserves to or has to live miserably. We have the power to change the way we think and feel if we want that bad enough and are open to suggestions. It is essential to always remain teachable. It is impossible to be happy all the time. But there is a remarkable strength in knowing how to identify our feelings and being able to go through them and deal with them so we can come out on the other side.

Just be positive! Don’t dwell on it. Move on.

Have you ever been given input that was condescending rather than compassionate? It can seem positive. The person usually means well, but it hurts you more than it helps. In actuality, it can be toxic.

The advice to just be positive often enables repression, shame, regret, feelings of failure, and more because it is not always achievable in that moment. It enables more negative emotions rather than helping you be exactly that: positive.

It is an unhealthy positivity.

How to Tell the Difference Between Healthy Positivity & Unhealthy Positivity

Toxic Positivity is a term that means… “You must be positive, at all times, no matter what.” It’s another way of saying, “power through it” at whatever expense. It is not simply being positive. It is an unhealthy way of being positive.

Healthy Positivity is coping with negative emotions through positive thinking strategies without denying that pain’s right to be there.

Toxic Positivity interferes with the progress in your life. Healthy Positivity inspires purpose in your life.

When Toxic Positivity happens, a lot can occur with it.

Downplaying depression, putting off problems, ignoring anxiety, faking it til you make it instead of facing it are problematic approaches that become toxic. The person in pain is being blamed for how they feel rather than being listened to or accepted.

Here are some other examples of Toxic Positivity or some suggestions you might hear:

  • “Stop being so negative.” This time the person is guilting you for having emotions.
  • “There are people who have it worse than you.” Downplaying pain through a comparison game. Feeling negative is equated to ungratefulness.
  • “Did you try hard enough?” This leaves you feeling that your effort was not sufficient.
  • “Yes you can” to something you cannot or struggle to do. It may mask a disability, trauma, emotional issue or more if someone simply says yes you can.

Toxic Positivity is not kind. It strips the root problem of its importance by telling you to ignore feelings. It believes willpower is the answer to everything. It preaches intolerance towards processing emotions. It shames the person having an emotional experience when that person may truly need help.

Sometimes, we don’t hear the things we need to hear when going through our worst. We have to tell those things to ourselves.

Examples of Healthy Positivity

Here are examples of healthy positivity or suggestions to say to others:

“I am with you.” You don’t have to have the answers, but let the person know they aren’t alone.

“I don’t know why this happened but I know you’ll use it for something.” This one still doesn’t assume an answer to their suffering, but it let’s them know they still have some say or power over it.

“I’m so sorry.” Simple and to the point.

Rather than promoting simply positive thinking that conversely causes them to whiteknuckle through their pain, you are telling them that they are not alone and do not have to have the answers to this problem in order to find peace or purpose in it. That reassures them that they are not being judged.

Healthy Positivity Thinking Strategies

For Healthy Positivity thinking strategies, consider the following:

When processing emotions, it’s important to name each one that surfaces. Say “I feel __ and it is okay to feel that way.” Naming the emotion actually takes its power away. Rationality returns. We then respond rather than react.

Emotions make us human. They are part of survival but also part of the experience. They are not to be shamed, downplayed or ignored. Otherwise, repression interrupts the healing process.

Rather than pushing through the pain with Toxic Positivity, try processing the pain. It will make all the difference. Process it and find purpose in it rather than simply try to use positivity to cancel out the pain. Reach out when you need more help. Educate those that misunderstand you. Let others know your needs– Do you need to vent or be distracted in the moment? This is self advocacy.

Pain itself is not the problem. It notifies us that something is wrong.

Processing the pain helps us to reduce the pain rather than repress it. You are allowed to feel it. But don’t let it define you, don’t BE sad just FEEL sad. When your identity is not wrapped up in what you are feeling, you find breakthroughs in how to act on each emotion.

Compassion for the emotional vulnerability you experience rather than rejection of it is a powerful thing. It leads you to want to heal, to want to get better, to want to make peace with what you feel and want to ultimately release whatever is bothering you. You are safe, you are allowed to feel, you are allow to be human. That’s what makes you special.

Each day is a chance for change, for renewal, to start over again.

What you’re going through matters. It means that feelings wants to be felt, a story wants to be told, a problem wants to be solved. Self-compassion is compassion for yourself and kindness shown towards the emotion.

Self-compassion can lead to self love, and that feels pretty positive.

We are all affected by stress in one way or another. From external stressors out of our control up to our own thoughts that can increase our stress levels through anxiety.

However, when stress levels become unhealthy, your mind and body start giving you signals to tell you that you have limits.

Those limits are as individual as you are as a human being so nobody can tell you what ‘limit’ you should have.

Warning signs of unhealthy stress levels include, but are not inclusive of the following:

Unexplained pains such as headaches, migraines, back or neck pain

Digestive issues such as, constipation or the opposite

Lower or increased appetite usually related to anxiety

Sleep issues such as insomnia or sleeping more than usual

What to do when you have the above warning signs?

Here are a few tips that can help you prevent burnout:

Take a step back and re-assess your workload by asking yourself the following questions:

Is my workload manageable?

Am I being unnecessarily pressured to achieve or perform beyond my capacity?

Am I doing more out of fear that I will get fired?

If you answered ‘No’ to at least 2 of the above questions, it is time to speak up and re-negotiate your workload.

Ask for support in a constructive manner:

Talk to your superior about how you have taken a proactive approach to assess your workload and what resources you need.

By clearly identifying additional resources allows you to position yourself as a highly proactive and professional individual who has taken the time to think things through instead of letting things ‘boil’.

Asking for support also means asking for extreme stress management techniques, which you can gain through an employer counselling program or through a private mental health professional.

Re-organise yourself and your workload, given that you receive the support and resources you need and asked for.

What if your employer does support you?

If your workplace is unable to provide you this support or if you feel that asking for such support would make you look ‘weak’, reconsider the organisation you are working for.

An organisation who cares and invests in their staff’s wellbeing is an organisation that will value you as an individual.

Mental Health in the workplace, either working from home or from an office, is more important than ever. Why? because the pandemic has resulted in organisations reducing their staff due to financial losses, which means that there is a higher workload for the remaining staff.

Feeling unappreciated at work and being neglected by your employer can also lead to depression and anxiety. These two mental health issues can also lead to numerous physical health issues, such as irritable bowel syndrome considering the connection between the brain and gut, insomnia, etc.

Lastly, if you tried everything and are still left with an unmanageable workload, are being bullied or harassed, then it is time to seek legal advice to protect yourself.

No matter where you are in the world, burnout can leave you incapacitated for work from a few months up to a lifetime so please, prioritise your emotional and physical safety.

Your wellbeing is priceless and without it, you cannot contribute your expertise and skills to your field, to society and the world.

We are all affected by stress in one way or another. From external stressors out of our control up to our own thoughts that can increase our stress levels through anxiety.

However, when stress levels become unhealthy, your mind and body start giving you signals to tell you that you have limits.

Those limits are as individual as you are as a human being so nobody can tell you what ‘limit’ you should have.

Warning signs of unhealthy stress levels include, but are not inclusive of the following:

Unexplained pains such as headaches, migraines, back or neck pain

Digestive issues such as, constipation or the opposite

Lower or increased appetite usually related to anxiety

Sleep issues such as insomnia or sleeping more than usual

What to do when you have the above warning signs?

Here are a few tips that can help you prevent burnout:

Take a step back and re-assess your workload by asking yourself the following questions:

Is my workload manageable?

Am I being unnecessarily pressured to achieve or perform beyond my capacity?

Am I doing more out of fear that I will get fired?

If you answered ‘No’ to at least 2 of the above questions, it is time to speak up and re-negotiate your workload.

Ask for support in a constructive manner:

Talk to your superior about how you have taken a proactive approach to assess your workload and what resources you need.

By clearly identifying additional resources allows you to position yourself as a highly proactive and professional individual who has taken the time to think things through instead of letting things ‘boil’.

Asking for support also means asking for extreme stress management techniques, which you can gain through an employer counselling program or through a private mental health professional.

Re-organise yourself and your workload, given that you receive the support and resources you need and asked for.

What if your employer does support you?

If your workplace is unable to provide you this support or if you feel that asking for such support would make you look ‘weak’, reconsider the organisation you are working for.

An organisation who cares and invests in their staff’s wellbeing is an organisation that will value you as an individual.

Mental Health in the workplace, either working from home or from an office, is more important than ever. Why? because the pandemic has resulted in organisations reducing their staff due to financial losses, which means that there is a higher workload for the remaining staff.

Feeling unappreciated at work and being neglected by your employer can also lead to depression and anxiety. These two mental health issues can also lead to numerous physical health issues, such as irritable bowel syndrome considering the connection between the brain and gut, insomnia, etc.

Lastly, if you tried everything and are still left with an unmanageable workload, are being bullied or harassed, then it is time to seek legal advice to protect yourself.

No matter where you are in the world, burnout can leave you incapacitated for work from a few months up to a lifetime so please, prioritise your emotional and physical safety.

Your wellbeing is priceless and without it, you cannot contribute your expertise and skills to your field, to society and the world.

How to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotions

It’s very difficult to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy fights in any relationship. There are two types of arguments. The first one heals and helps you clarify a lot of things; the second one destroys and damages your relationship. Frequent and trivial arguments are usually the result of not knowing how to communicate in a proper way. When the partners allow emotions to enter the discussion, they have the risk to intensify the argument. Nowadays many couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. You should do your best to present your opposing views in a respectful way. Here are 7 signs that prove you are having unhealthy fights with your significant other.

1 You don’t really want to listen

If you refuse to listen to what your partner says, you are not fighting fair, because communication is the core element of all healthy relationships. Furthermore, communication can be the tool to solve the argument. That’s why you should listen and treat your partner’s point of view with respect. If you ignore what your partner is saying and focus only on your truth, you will spoil the relationship.

2 A desire to win

A constant desire to win in a fight is one of the most obvious signs of unhealthy arguments with your beloved. Your need to win all the time makes you aggressively prove your truth. Consequently, the other one feels attacked and the argument escalates. Moreover, if you always show how clever you are and refuse to discuss the issue, the partner will feel unvalued and unheard.

3 Using anger while arguing

By all means, it is necessary to control anger while arguing with your partner. Otherwise you might say something that you will regret later. Anger is a destructive emotion that does more harm than good. The main point to avoid anger is to keep in mind that when in an argument it is best to focus on the subject of the argument, but not the other person. This anger can easily transform an innocent argument to a verbal fight. If you cannot control your flashes of anger, you’d better excuse yourself from the conversation and take a breath of fresh air. Don’t use tones and words that can hurt your partner, instead, try to settle the argument in a friendly and civilized way.

4 Arguing about the same things

If you are always arguing about the same things, you should try to find a different approach, because this one is very risky for your relationship. It often happens that old unresolved issues from the past arise in your day-to-day arguments. Your partner can be already sick and tired of hearing the same things every time you argue. You cannot change the past that’s why try to focus on the present moment and try to avoid the same problems in future.

5 You forget to take turns

I’m sure you know that when one speaks, the other should be listening, especially during the argument. It is extremely important to take turns speaking and listening. It will give both of you an opportunity to explain and say what you need. If you are very emotional and hot-tempered person, you should sometimes give in if you really love your significant other.

6 You cannot stop the argument

If your conflict is caused by serious and complicated problems, you should try to accept the fact that you are different and cannot agree with certain things. If you are not able to handle the situation, you need to find support and help from friends, family or other people. They may help you put a different complexion on the problem and find the solution of the argument.

7 Raising the voice

When you want to discuss a difficult topic with your partner, you should try to keep yourself in hand and avoid raising the voice. Just take responsibility for your emotions and talk over all disputable questions. I’m sure that it’s possible to win almost all arguments without such useless and irritating habit as raising the voice. Realize that you can make your partner feel guilty, ashamed or stupid if you raise your voice during the arguments.

If you really love and respect your partner, you should try to treat various life misunderstandings knowingly and reasonably. You cannot change the partner but you can make changes in your own life in order to keep your relationship safe and healthy. What other signs of unhealthy arguments do you know? Feel free to share your tips on how to deal with unhealthy arguments.

How to do a backflip

How to do a backflip

There are many tricks you can do on a snowboard, but few of them are more sought after than the backflip.

Many riders dream of being able to land the exciting flourish. Not only is it impressive, but there’s something fun and magical about flipping through the air and landing safely back on the ground.

However, it’s an extremely advanced maneuver that many riders will never even attempt. Even so, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

A backflip may seem daunting, but it can be done with the right steps.

Whether you are at a point in your snowboarding development where you want to take things to the next level or you’re simply putting a new goal on your list for the season, this guide will break down the steps involved to help you land the trick.

Before You Backflip, Read This

How to do a backflip

This is a disclaimer of sorts. In this article, I’ll highlight how to perform the maneuver.

However, reading this does not mean you’ll be able to do the trick. You should make sure you’re comfortable and confident in your skills before even attempting a backflip on a snowboard.

You can read about a new skill all day long, but the only way to perfect it is to practice in real-world situations.

Safety is also quite important when learning how to backflip. You need to be safe anytime you snowboard. That goes double when you get big air and also get inverted.

Always wear a helmet and make sure the jump you’re hitting has a safe landing area free of other riders or obstacles.

Never attempt a new trick that you’re not ready for. You can get seriously hurt that way.

Required Skills Needed to Backflip

How to do a backflip

Now that we have the basic safety disclaimer out of the way, it’s time to learn how to backflip. There are several important skills you need to know before you will be able to perform such a high-level trick. Make sure you have mastered the following:

  • You must be comfortable with going off decent size jumps. You don’t need to be going absolutely huge every time or hitting the largest jumps in the park, but you do need to know how to take off and land on medium jumps before attempting any inverted aerials.
  • You should know how to backflip in other situations other than on a snowboard. Learn how to backflip on a trampoline or off of a diving board before you attempt it on the snow. This will give you the basic feel for how to complete the maneuver. If you can’t backflip on a trampoline or into the pool, there’s no way you are going to be able to do it on a board.
  • You need to be confident and ready to go for it. If you feel unsure about being able to do a backflip, you are not ready to attempt it. You must fully commit. If you bail mid-flip you’re going to land on your head or back. That can then lead to injury. Confidence is a huge factor and I would consider it an essential skill in your pursuit of the backflip.

How to Backflip on a Snowboard

How to do a backflip

Once you have the skills mentioned above in the bag, it’s time to try a backflip. Pick a good jump with a steep takeoff where you will naturally be able to get inverted.

In addition, find a nice landing spot with a natural slope that will ease your impact when you land.

Also make sure you have some other friends or spotters nearby in case something goes wrong.

1. Hit the Jump a Few Times

Before you try a backflip, go off of the jump normally a few times. That will give you a good idea of how much speed you’ll need and what the takeoff/landing will be like.

It’s never a good idea to do a backflip off of a jump cold turkey. Get a feel for the area first.

2. Stay Balance, Pop Off the Lip

As you approach the jump, stay equally balanced from side-to-side on your board. When you get near the top of the jump, pop off of it just like you would with any other jump.

3. Get Lift Before You Flip

When you’re first learning how to flip, you will have an urge to throw your head back and begin the rotation right away. You want to resist that.

Rather, let the jump throw you up into the air a bit before you start to flip. That will give you enough air to easily complete the rotation.

4. Commit

Once you are in the air, it’s time to commit. Look straight back behind you and your body will naturally begin to rotate. It’s important to look directly behind you so you don’t twist your body over one shoulder or another.

This will get you almost halfway through the flip. Keep looking back until you see the snow beneath you.

5. Tuck Your Knees

Once you are halfway through the backflip, it’s time to tuck your knees to complete the rotation.

The tighter you tuck your knees, the faster you will spin.

Once you get a feel for this, you can match your rotation to your air time or for the type of rotation you want.

6. Stop the Landing

After you tuck your knees and complete the rotation, the next step is to land back on the snow.

You might not land your first attempt. That’s ok. If you make it all the way around, it’s a success.

Bend your knees and hips to brace for impact and land just as you would off of any other jump.

Final Words

Once you learn how to backflip, you’ll realize that it’s a pretty natural movement that isn’t extremely difficult once you know how to make it happen. One of the biggest obstacles is fully committing to the flip.

Make sure you know how to do so on a trampoline or in the pool before you go big on your board. If you think you have the skills and are feeling confident, go ahead and try a backflip.

You might be surprised how quickly you can pick it up.

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Hey Snowboarders!

How to do a backflipMy name is Lorraine, I’m a snowboarding instructor certified by the Canadian Association of Snowboard Instructors. Learn more about me, why I created this website and what you’ll learn here.

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Backflip is an exercise characteristic of many sports. It is performed, among others in capoeira, parkour, acrobatics or Martial Arts Tricks. What’s more, somersaults in the back are also present in winter sports (skiing, snowboarding) or extreme sports (BMX, inline skates, MTB). How to do a backflip?

Three ways to perform backflips

  1. Dynamic, two-step – it involves a slight jump, muscle cushioning and a strong sweep of the arms before the main jump, then we turn faster and more dynamically; they teach this method in acrobatics and capoeira;
  2. Single jump – it consists of squatting and breaking without prior dynamics, it is less dynamic, causes less rotation, but in some cases looks more effective than its brother;
  3. Salto backwards can also be done after the roundoff. At the same time you have the highest speed and dynamics.

The back flip is a layout – back flip with straight legs.

How to do a

Backflip in acrobatics

In this sport discipline, somersaults are usually performed on a bat and track. Both backward and forward jumps must be grouped. The type of grouping depends on the type of somersault (broken, squat, straight). Broken somersault is performed on straight legs. Then the exerciser grabs his ankles with his hands, puts on his own legs. An angle of less than 90 degrees should form between the legs and the torso. The pack somersault requires knees to be placed on the chest and grasped with their hands. Simple somersault is done from the position “at attention”. Hands should hang down the trunk or be folded on the chest.

Salt groupings in acrobatics are separate for somersaults back and somersaults forward. In the first case, the legs must “go” on the body. In the other, the torso is approaching the legs.

Doing a backflip safely

It is worth using belaying while preparing for somersault backwards, as well as during the rehearsals themselves. A strong, experienced person will be of help. It can be, for example, a more advanced colleague or personal trainer. In the second case, we are sure that everything will go as smoothly, efficiently and safely as possible. What’s more, it’s a technically difficult evolution. Learning the wrong ways can result in you not doing the somersault correctly. It’s worse if we threaten our health with a bad technique. See our trainers and instructors!

Backflip on the trampoline – exercises

Trampoline exercises are a good way to learn back somersault. At the very beginning, it’s best to learn how to turn the back properly. You can try doing a back flip on a trampoline by catching your legs in the air and curl up in the so-called “Ball”. In the event of a fall, it is worth learning to land on your knees.

Preparation for performing a backflip

The approach to performing a backflip should be preceded by appropriate training preparations. Good exercises in this case can be, among others leaps back up from the place (plus hand work), legs hanging up on a stick or flipping backwards.

Interactive Dog Tricks

The doggie backflip is an impressive trick, and teaching it requires a good deal of patience from the owner, but you should first be sure it’s the sort of thing your dog is willing and capable of doing. Owners of breed with long backs, such as dachshunds and corgis, should avoid teaching this, as the action can aggravate existing back problems. Small, agile breeds are best suited to this trick.

The first stage of the trick is the jump. Use a tasty treat as a lure and hold it just out of your dog’s natural reach. Encourage him to jump for the treat and, as you do, give the verbal command, such as “flip.” When he gets his nose to to the treat, let it go. Give lots of verbal praise at this stage to reinforce the behavior. Gradually increase the height of the treat so he has to jump higher.

The Launch Pad

By bending your leg at the knee and pointing your toes, you turn your upper leg into a doggie launch pad. You may need to pat your thigh in order to encourage your pooch to jump onto it, but he’ll soon realize he can jump higher using your leg as a launch pad. Once he’s figured this out, you can start to move the treat away from his natural trajectory.

Once he’s mastered the use of your leg as a launch pad, move the treat to a position that forces him to arch backward once he’s jumped. At first, you’ll need to do this once he’s taken off, otherwise he’ll simply adjust his starting position to grab that treat. Continue rewarding him verbally for jumping, but only release the treat when he gets his nose to it.

The final stage of the trick is to get your dog to complete a full mid-air roll. To do this, move the treat further back still. He may abandon his jump a few times. When he does this, don’t verbally reward him and don’t give the treat. When he gets close to completing the flip, increase the intensity of the verbal praise. When he executes a flip correctly, give the treat.


A capable and willing dog will eventually master the flip, but you can’t rely on treats each time you want him to perform it. When he’s mastered the move, use hand movements but no treat to encourage him. Gradually reduce the frequency with which you use the hand movements, and just use the command and verbal praise to encourage him to do the trick.


Your dog must be able to execute a flip with a comfortable landing. If your dog doesn’t have the agility to land safely, there are plenty of other tricks to teach, such as the weave or spin. Don’t persist in teaching this trick if your dog yelps or whines when landing. Similarly, find another trick if you spot signs of discomfort in your dog after flipping, such as a limp or impeded mobility.

How to do a backflip on a bodyboard? Backflip is one of the most popular tricks in bodyboarding. To be honest, this stunt isn’t something you cannot immediately learn. However, despite the detailed steps that are involved in the backflip, it does not mean that it cannot be carried out by beginners. With constant training and eagerness to learn, anyone can make a perfect backflip on a bodyboard.

Explore all the possibilities in bodyboarding. Learning different tricks in bodyboarding can give you more excitement. Backflip, in particular, is something you should learn. But first, find out the essential things in this stunt and the steps to do it.

Table of Contents

What Do You Need to Follow in this Tutorial?

You need to secure the following for you to follow this tutorial:


If you want to do a backflip on a bodyboard, you will obviously need a good bodyboard to help you execute the stunt beautifully. It can get confusing when you choose a bodyboard that is best for backflip stunts. What is important is that you get a bodyboard that is made of superior quality. You want to make sure that your board can sustain the pressure of repeat use since you are expected to undergo constant training – this is if you want to master the backflip on the bodyboard.

If you do not have ample time for practice and training, then maybe you should consider trying other bodyboard stunts. Backflip is not a usual movement of the body, as discussed. Thus, you should spend time practicing it. Also, this trick is not easy. To set your expectation, you cannot learn them in instant. Mastering this stunt may take time. Do not hurry your learning. Take your time as you absorb the steps on how to execute a perfect backflip on a bodyboard.

Step-by-Step Instructions

Backflip is characterized by a backward turning movement in which the body executes a 360 degrees curve backward. Yes, it is not a common human movement. Thus, it requires specific techniques. Human bodies are not trained to tolerate upside-down experiences, hence, the brain might play tricks.

Although it is quite a complicated stunt, there is a way that you can do it. Luckily, this article can help you with the details of its execution. These are the steps on how to do a backflip on a bodyboard:

1. Determine the Potential of the Wave

How to do a backflip

The first thing to do when planning to execute a backflip on a bodyboard is to determine whether the waves have the best section for backflipping. You have to figure it out early on since this will provide you ample time to line up yourself. Obtain the right timing, and prepare for the lip section to pull off correctly.

2. Secure a Nice Bottom Turn

How to do a backflip

When backflipping on a bodyboard, you should know that timing is an essential factor. However, with enough experience, you will eventually when the right timing is.

When you are beginning to down the face of the wave and bottom turn heading to the section, look through the line and focus on lining up correctly to make sure that you hit the lip of the wave at the best time. If you want to perform an excellent flip, you should start with a clean and nice bottom turn.

3. Hit the Lip of the Wave with the Greatest Speed

How to do a backflip

When trying to do a bodyboarding trick, speed is an important element. It does not exclude a backflip on a bodyboard. Make sure that you hit the lip of the wave with the highest speed possible to carry yourself above the wave and propelled upwards and outwards if executing the backflip.

4. Extend the Inside Arm

How to do a backflip

Spreading the inside arm immediately after you hit the lip of the wave can grant you more projection and height. You will not only establish a good stance and nice style when you extend the board away from the body, but it can also help you find the best area for your landing.

5. Perform a Good Landing

How to do a backflip

After striking the lip of the wave through good speed and timing, you have to perform a good landing. By spreading out the inside arm and throwing the head above the shoulder, you can find the best spot for your landing.

You should target landing backward from the even and ceaseless section of the wave. The moment you touch down, you may then stretch your legs. Get the one leg to swivel on the board fixing yourself and preferably continuing with the ride.


There you have it! If you can perform the above steps correctly, you can do a backflip on the bodyboard perfectly. Learning how to do a backflip on a bodyboard is something you can enjoy and be proud of.

You might not see it as something you can do perfectly anytime soon, but as long you do not lose the patience and determination to grasp the essential elements of this stunt, there should be no reason that you cannot execute it.

Чему вы научитесь



How to do a backflip for beginners!

Learn the Backflip in a safe, efficient and comfortable way with this unique online course!

Wether you are a tricker or an acrobat, a martial artist, someone who loves fitness and training, a traceur or free-runner, a stuntman, a dancer or maybe a fresh beginner – this course is especially designed and the perfect course for anyone willing to learn the backflip!

This course will help your backflip training and you will know how to do a backflip on ground!

While there are plenty of good tutorials out there that show how to learn a backflip, it is difficult to find a comprehensive course like this which includes different methods and tactics to learn this challenging skill. After doing thousand of backflips over the years I know that there doesn`t exist only one way to learn the backflip. It totally depends on the person and what might work for one person may doesn`t work for someone else.

It`s merely the combination of different methods and understanding the key elements which creates this bulletproof way to learn the backflip and lead you to success!

Course Bonuses

5 different methods of learning the backflip featured in one course!

All the tutorials and lessons are built upon each other and everything comes from one source.

Direct feedback from me your instructor. if you get stuck you can ask anytime and get immediate help!

Know how to backflip is a great level-up and gives you the perfect foundation to learn more advanced acrobatic movements!

The key things you will learn

Know the correct starting position and setup for the backflip

Understand the technique and most important key elements

Practice three special pre-exercises to strengthen and condition your body

Learn the backflip by using five different methods and combining them

Learn how to do a backflip without being scared

Land the backflip for the first time alone without any help

Learn more advanced tactics to further improve your backflip

Continue to do backflips all over the place and have fun

Contents and Overview

The course starts with a brief introduction to myself and the course structure so that you know how to follow the lessons.

Then you will get to know the basis of the basis which means. you`ll learn how to setup for the backflip correctly. This is what you need to learn first because it is the most important thing at all!

Before starting with the actual practice of the backflip you will learn three great pre-exercises to condition and prepare your body. These exercises contain the key elements and are ideal to memorise the correct motion. However, how much you will practice those exercises totally depends on your current level of fitness and you can do them more or less.

Once you know about the correct technique, the key elements and the pre-exercises you are ready to start with practicing the backflip motion. You will get to know five different methods of learning a backflip. Each method is broken down in easy to follow steps and you can practice at your own pace. Take the method which feels most likeable for you or combine different methods and work yourself up to the backflip – step by step – until you will land it for the first time!

At the end when you mastered the backflip you will find more tips and tricks in the bonus lesson. They will help you to improve the technique even more and really make your backflip solid as a rock!

After finishing the course you will not only be able to land a backflip – you will also have a really nice and solid one!

If you want to learn how to do a backflip, this course is for you!

All my fee-based courses have a 30-day money-back guarantee through Udemy. That means you are able to check it out, make sure it`s the right course for you, and get a refund if it`s not.

Are you ready to enter the backflip game?

Don`t hesitate because with this online course you can totally take it at your own pace. Even though you might be too busy right now you can enrol today and take the course at any other time.

Have fun and thank you so much for your interest!

Tom Inauen / TOMTRICKS

(Disclaimer Notice: In order to perform the exercises effectively and safely you should be in good physical condition prior to beginning the course. By registering for the course or performing these exercises you understand that exercising can lead to physical injury. If you engage in any exercise suggested by Thomas Inauen, you agree that you do so at your own risk, are voluntarily participating in these activities, assume all risk of injury to yourself, and agree to release and discharge Thomas Inauen from any and all claims or causes of action, known or unknown arising out of Thomas Inauen`s negligence.)

Below are a variety moves available during combat in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword.

How to do a backflip

Spin Attack

is a move in which Link swings his sword rapidly 360 degrees, slicing anything around him. The Spin Attack move is executed by swinging both the Wiimote and nunchuck to either the left, or right side simultaneously. Takes away about 1/3 of the Stamina Meter.

Front-Flip Slash

Front-Flip Slash is a move in which Link does a front-flip while doing a powerful downward slash. It is done by taking the Wiimote and Nunchuck and shake them downward. Takes about 1/3 of the Stamina Meter.

Back-Flip Slash

Back-Flip Slash is a move in which Link does a backflip while doing a powerful forward slash. To do the move you’ll simply have to shake the Wiimote and Nunchuck upward. Takes about 1/3 of the Stamina Meter.

Jump Attack

Jump Attack is when Link will jump forward and perform a downward slash at the same time. To pull this off, while holding Z, hold A and swing the Wiimote. This shouldn’t use up any Stamina.

Fatal Blow

The Fatal Blow Is a finishing move that can be done if an enemy is on its back. With this technique Link jumps and hurls his Sword on his fallen opponent. The fatal blow is done by flicking both the Wiimote and Nunchuck downwards while an enemy is laying on the floor. Fatal blows do not take anything away from the stamina meter, but your are left open while doing the move so use it with discretion.

Skyward Strike

How to do a backflip

A charging move in which the sword is held up and accumulates energy and is swung down, expelling a slash of energy. Skyward Strike is done by holding the Wiimote directly up until the charge is complete. Please note: You can then use any of the aforementioned strikes, excluding the Fatal Blow, and the charge in the blade will make the chosen strike more powerful. (i.e. charging the sword and stabbing unleashes a missile, or charging the sword and then swinging the Wiimote and Nunchuck left or right will make the Spin Attack larger.

The Skyward Strike can also be used outside of battle on a number of designated Goddess-related objects such as Goddess Walls, Goddess Cubes, and floating symbols of the Goddess (found at the ends of temples and on the Isle of Songs).

How to do a backflip

Skiing is a constantly-evolving sport that has come a long way from its Nordic roots. Cross country skiing first laid the foundation for Alpine styles, and recent generations took things even further with freestyle and park skiing. In fact, skiers invent new tricks and techniques every single day.

There are many interesting tricks out there, but one of the most famous is the backflip. If you’re a beginner, you might think achieving such a feat is impossible. However, there are many out there who can pull off the move with ease and grace. The following sections will look at some of the steps necessary to complete a backflip so you too can attempt the impossible.

Basic Advice

Before attempting a backflip on skis, I need to make a quick disclaimer: Do not, I repeat DO NOT, attempt this high-level trick until you are absolutely ready. As impressive as it is, the maneuver is incredibly dangerous. You need to be extremely comfortable with different aerial maneuvers before you even consider a backflip. Practice going off of jumps, learn how to stick landings, and get a good feel for how to move your body while in the air.

A backflip gone wrong comes with serious consequences. Flying through the air on skis presents inherent dangers. When you combine that level of air with an inversion, you increase the risk even further. Landing on your neck or head can cause serious injuries and even death. Do not attempt a backflip without having the basics down first.

Start on a Trampoline or in the Pool

Before you attempt a backflip on skis, you need to learn how to perform one without long sticks attached to your feet. That usually means on a trampoline or in a pool.

On a trampoline, take a few warm-up bounces to get a feel for the spring and force. Try to bounce straight up and then look back directly over your shoulders. Tuck your knees into your chest and commit to the rotation. The trampoline allows you to land on your back, front, or sides without issue. That makes it a good place to learn the basic feel and technique.

In the pool, first practice your backflips on the diving board and then can move to the side of the pool deck. The pool is a great place to learn the backflip because if you hit the water in an awkward way, you won’t hurt yourself. Go to the end of the diving board and face backward. Align your heels with the end of the board, bend down, and push down to generate power.

From there, look back directly over your shoulders, tuck your legs into your chest, and fully commit to the flip. As you complete the flip, try to land feet first and fully upright as you would need to on dry land. Getting good at diving board backflips is where most people start.

Time for Skis

Once you’ve gotten comfortable with learning how to backflip on a trampoline or in a pool, you can start to work your way towards skis. While the trick comes with more risks on the snow, the movement is not too different.

If you have access to an airbag, that’s a great place to start. Many ski camps or terrain parks will have training days where they inflate an airbag below a jump so skiers can practice difficult tricks and aerials without risk of injury. Take full advantage of such items if you can. Performing a full backflip is one thing, sticking the landing is another skill that takes time to master.

Another important aspect to note is that some jumps are better suited for backflips than others. Ski jumps with a really steep takeoff than generate a lot of pop are ideal over jumps that shoot you forward. The more vertical you can get with your initial takeoff, the better. For your first attempts, make sure you’re on a jump with a steep takeoff.

The first attempt can be daunting. To help with that, I always suggest visualizing the entire process before you go off the jump. Close your eyes at the top of the runway and picture the perfect rotation and landing.

As you approach the jump, bend slightly at the knees and waist to prepare for takeoff. Once you hit the lip, pop off of the edge in a jump-like fashion. Tuck your knees into your chest, look back directly over your shoulders and fully commit to the rotation. After you orient your body upright again, untuck your legs, open your arms slightly and focus on the landing. If all goes well, congratulations, you’ve just completed your first backflip on skis!

Final Thoughts

Practice makes perfect, and skiing is no exception. While a backflip is only for expert level skiers who really know what they’re doing on the mountain, it’s not as hard as you first might think. You might not land your first attempt, but with a few days or weeks of solid practice you’ll get there.

Follow the above suggestions and you’ll be on your way in no time. Remember, as a backflip comes with so much risk, you should always have a friend or fellow skier with you in case you need medical help.

Have you ever done a backflip on skis? Do you remember your first attempt? Let us know in the comments below!

How to do a backflip

Caleb Summeril writes creative copy, stories, and songs from the mountains of Colorado. He specializes in writing about all things outdoors, fitness, nutrition, and travel, among many other topics. When not working on words he can be found on global gallivants which fuel future endeavors. – In this page, we will learn how to do a backflip, a cool gymnastic skill. It can be a great way to impress all of your friends. If you want to learn how to do a backflip, stay tuned in this post!

How to Do a Backflip for Beginners

Photo by Rolanas Valionis from Pixabay

Follow these steps to learn how to do a backflip. Let’s start!

Step 1. Master the back-handspring

Photo by cm_dasilva from Pixabay

Before you do a back-flip, you definitely should master the back hand-spring. It will get you used to jumping in reverse and flipping your feet over your head. If you can do a back hand-spring, you are well to do a backflip later on.

Step 2. Watch some videos of others doing it

Photo by cm_dasilva from Pixabay

The second step of how to do a backflip is watching a few videos of others. You are able to learn a lot about how to turn over by watching other people do it. Pull some back-flip videos online. Pay attention to its shape and speed to get around.

How to Do a Backflip on the Ground

Step 3. Do hip rotation skills while you lie on the ground

Photo by Pexels

It may feel unusual attempting to do a backflip, especially if this is your first time doing it. Hence, the next step of how to do a backflip is do hip rotation skills while you are lying on the ground.

You can figure it out by rehearsing hip rotation skills while you are lying on the ground. Set down on a floor mat with your arm straight up by your ears. Bring your feet toward your head in a tucked position.

If you are experiencing difficult problems doing this, you are only tucking your legs and not turning your hips.

Step 4. Practice: jump up and tuck your body

Photo by David Mark from Pixabay

The next step of how to do a backflip is to practice! So as to get around quickly in your backflip, you have to know how to tuck your body.

You can simply set up your body for it by jumping straight up in the air and tucking your feet. When you become acclimated to this, you can also work on swinging your arms up while you are jumping.

How to Do a Backflip on a Trampoline

Step 5. Try practicing on the trampoline

Photo by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Do you feel ready to try a backflip? Well, you can do it on the trampoline first. It will lead you to get some extra height. Also, you will have the trampoline mat to get you if you don’t land it.

But, how to do a backflip on a trampoline? You may need to jump up and down all over a couple of times before you get the confidence to do your backflip.

When you feel that you have already mastered it, you need to have a go at doing it while you are simply remaining on the trampoline.

Step 6. Get someone spot you

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

Now, we continue to the next step of how to do a backflip: step on the ground! However, before you give a backflip on the ground, you should have somebody spot you.

This will guarantee that you are protected and don’t hurt yourself. The person that spots you ought to have an experience in spotting someone doing backflipping.

They will also have the option to give you criticism and pointers that will support you.

Step 7. Get into the appropriate position

Photo by farioff from Pixabay

When you ready to do a backflip on your own, you need to be sure that you are already in the position that is proper. Stand up straight with your feet together. If possible, you should be on a tumbling mat.

Step 8. Let’s practice!

Photo by alexandre saraiva carniato from Pexels

After you’ve finished the whole of the steps mentioned above, you simply need to go for your backflip. Jump up, twist your knees, and swing your arms back. Utilize your momentum to get your legs over your head.

Ensure you keep from tossing your head back, and don’t curve your back. Don’t get panic when you are in the middle of the backflip. Simply put it all on the line, and focus on what you need to do.

All in all, it might take some time for you to figure out how to do a backflip. If you use the steps above, you will gradually figure out how to do a backflip.

Try not to attempt to rush the process, but be firm in your chasing for mastering a backflip. If you don’t surrender, you will be able to do it! Fighting!

How to tell your life story

All Pro Dad

People have asked me several times whether I am interested in writing a book. I normally say no. In fact, I gave that answer the last time somebody asked at a dinner party. As my wife and I drove home, she asked why I have no interest in writing a book. I said, “I don’t think my story is worth writing in a book. Who will want to read it?” That’s when she said, “Everyone has a life story worthy of a book.”

I believe she’s right. Your life story is certainly worth telling. Even if it’s only for your children and grandchildren, it is valuable to record. Future generations can experience how you felt and reacted in your time. Whether you write your story down, record it, or simply tell your children about your life, the following 10 questions will help you get started.

1. Who Are You?

Where did you come from and where are you going? What are your passions and strongly held beliefs? Define the person you are and how you got to that point.

2. Where have you struggled?

We all suffer sometimes. What are the moments that challenged and molded you? Sharing your wounds enables others to connect with you emotionally.

3. What are you passionate about?

Your legacy is the footprint you made in the world. Display and explain the passion that led you to successful outcomes. What do you love the most? What makes your heart race and your temperature rise?

4. In what areas have you gained expertise?

We learn through experience. And with experience, we gain expertise. What solutions have you discovered? In what does your expertise lie? Where in life are you “the man?”

5. What is your worldview?

What is your “message” to the world? What are your philosophies and wisdom gained? Define a central message you most wish to convey and run it continuously throughout your story.

6. What is your honest story?

Keep your story on point. Keep it simple and keep it direct. Always be honest and sincere. Your life is interesting enough. No need for embellishment.

7. To whom do you owe gratitude?

No successful life is accomplished alone. Give credit to the people in your life who have helped you on your journey. Tell stories about the people who influenced you and lifted you up to the heights you have reached.

8. How do you relate to others?

How can you make yourself relatable to a later generation? How can you reach out into the future and lend a comforting hand? Some things in life never change. Matters of the heart, hopes, dreams, and fears—talk often of these.

9. What are your failures?

Do not be afraid to share your failures and shortcomings—especially how they helped you grow. These are as important as any great successes. No man is perfect and no life is perfect. Describe in humorous detail your many faults.

10. What have been the greatest moments of your life?

These are the moments you stood at a crossroads and made the right choice. This is the day your child was born. The moment you discovered God. The memories that make you smile and fill you with gratitude.

Sound off: What has been the greatest moment of your life?

Huddle Up Question

Huddle up and ask your kids, “What is your favorite memory?”

These days everyone’s talking about writing your story. Not just any old story, but the story of your life, the road map that got you to where you are today. For most of us that’s a pretty daunting thought. I mean, why would anyone be interested in hearing our story anyway?

How to tell your life story

Well, I’m a big proponent of this personal story writing business, and I’ll tell you why: it changed my life.

I used to write fiction. I loved hiding behind the facades of the characters I created. But then my work led me into writing for a magazine where people share their personal stories, and I found myself on unfamiliar territory.

I actually had no interest in sharing my story—I wasn’t a fiction writer for nothing. I thought my past was empty and depressing. But given my role as both a writer and editor for this magazine, I really didn’t have much choice.

So I sat down at my computer and with absolute resistance I began to write the truth of my life. I was full of fear—afraid to reveal my authentic self and the vulnerability that came with doing it. I was also fearful that no one would give a hoot about my story.

My resistance to the process resulted in quite the crappy effort. Apparently my chief editor thought so too. She sent the article back to me with these words: “go deeper.” Not quite the response I was looking for.

So I went back to my computer, stared at a blank page for a while and began to write. But this time I didn’t write from a place of resistance, I wrote from the heart.

The result was tears, not just on my part, but my editor’s too.

But more important than the tears was the overwhelming sense of release. In reconnecting with my story I somehow gave it a voice. I gave myself a voice that needed to be heard.

I have continued to write my story and to pursue the practice of helping others do the same. Not only do I believe that telling our stories is an important way to get to know ourselves and find healing, I also believe it’s a way to connect with others on a deeply authentic level.

You need to tell your story and share it with the world!

Writing our personal stories is the most vulnerable kind of writing we can do. We fear being laughed at, rejected, or that our words will be met with silence. And in turn, we ourselves remain silent.

Through the process I have found six important steps to be helpful:

1. Tap into your emotions.

Your story won’t resonate with others if it is void of emotion, as I discovered when writing that first draft of my own story. So take out your paper and pen and write down some key feelings that you associate with your life so far. Then write something about each feeling and the story behind it.

2. List the turning points.

People often make the mistake of starting with their earliest childhood memory and moving through their story chronologically. But rather than starting at the beginning, it’s more helpful to make a list of your life’s key turning points—those times when you were standing at a crossroads and the direction you chose marked a significant change in your life.

3. Write everything down.

It might not seem like much at the time but it’s amazing how one memory leads to another and allows you to go deeper into your story. As with all writing, you may not use many of the scenes you write, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a purpose.

4. Use the senses.

The one thing that will help you explore long forgotten memories is to use your senses. As you recall events, try to remember the smells, tastes and sounds that accompany them. Not only will this help you remember details, it will also enrich your writing.

5. Find the theme.

Once you have compiled a large number of significant scenes, it’s likely you will begin to see a theme emerging. Your theme is the central question driving your story. The ability to carry this theme through the sequence of events you have recorded is what will turn your individual scenes into one story. It may be that you discover more than one theme. That’s okay; it’s likely there will be one that stands apart from the others.

6. Tell a story.

You have your theme and a multitude of scenes; you’ve gone through a box of tissues in the process of exploring your emotions, but have you told a story? As you begin to work on pulling it all together, focus on the reader. What about your story will connect with him? The best stories are ultimately those that connect with the reader the most.

This process of telling your story is, I believe, one of the most rewarding and clarifying things you can do for yourself, and for others.

So step into that place of discomfort and write the words that will bring freedom and meaning to your life. Is it not time?

Are you writing your story? Have you found the experience to be healing? Share your journey and process in the comments.

By Susan Cain

What’s your life story?

I don’t mean where you grew up, went to school, got your first job, etc. I mean what’s your STORY? What narrative have you constructed from the events of your life? And do you know that this is the single most important question you can ask yourself?

According to the fascinating field of “narrative psychology,” the stories we tell about ourselves are the key to our well-being. If you’ve interpreted the events of your life to mean that you’re unlucky or unwise, it’s hard to look optimistically at the future. Conversely, if you acknowledge that you’ve made mistakes and faced difficulties but seek (or have already glimpsed) redemption, you’ll feel a much greater sense of agency over your life.

That time you were laid off, for example, is it further proof that your career’s going nowhere? Or is it the best thing that ever happened, liberating you to find work that suits you better?

What about your divorce? Is it a sign you’re unlucky in love or a difficult passage to a more hopeful romance?

The idea is not to delude yourself that bad things are actually good. It is, instead, to find meaning in the progression from one event to the next. It is to recognize that everything constantly changes. In your life, you will move from triumph to heartbreak to boredom and back again, sometimes in the space of a single day. What are you to make of so many emotions, so many events?

The facts matter less than the narrative.

Once upon a time, an 18-year-old Frenchwoman named Sophie Serrano gave birth to a baby girl, who suffered from neonatal jaundice.

The baby spent her first days in an incubator under artificial light and was returned to her mother four days later. Unbeknownst to Sophie, it wasn’t her baby. It was another 4-day-old with jaundice. The nurse had switched the babies by accident.

Sophie named her daughter Manon. As she grew older, Manon looked nothing like her parents. She had darker skin and frizzy hair, and the neighbors started to gossip about her origins.

But Sophie never faltered. The nurse had explained that the artificial light used to treat jaundice could affect hair color. Even more, Sophie loved Manon. She knew the story of her life: her cries, her coos, her first words.

It was only when Sophie’s husband accused her of giving birth to another man’s baby that she went for paternity tests and discovered that her husband was right (sort of). The baby, then aged 10, wasn’t his, but she wasn’t Sophie’s either. She belonged to another set of parents, who had been raising Sophie’s biological daughter in a town several miles away.

It’s a typically fascinating “switched at birth” tale. But here’s where it takes an unexpected turn.

A meeting was arranged for the two mothers and their daughters. Sophie saw that her biological daughter looked just like her in a way that Manon did not and never would.

But she felt no connection to this other girl. It was Manon she had nursed, Manon whose nightmares she’d soothed, and Manon whose stories she knew. This other daughter looked just like Sophie—but what did that even mean, when she didn’t know her stories? The other mother felt the same way.

“It is not the blood that makes a family,” Ms. Serrano told The New York Times (where I read this story). “What makes a family is what we build together, what we tell each other.”

Our stories are everything. They are the heart of love and of meaning.

So what is your story? Are you telling the right one? And are you telling it to the right people?

Here are three sets of people to tell your stories to:

1. “Declare yourself” to your colleagues at work. Doug Conant, the much-admired former CEO of Campbell Soup and founder of Conant Leadership (and one of my favorite people), is an introvert who’s not inclined to schmooze and self-disclose. So he scheduled “Declare Yourself” meetings, one at a time, with each of his direct reports. The purpose of these meetings was to tell his employees his story: how he liked to work, his management philosophy, and the things and people that mattered to him most. (We at Quiet Revolution are partnering with Conant Leadership to develop a “Declare Yourself” tool that you can use with your colleagues. Stay tuned on that.)

2. Share your stories with your family. A few weeks ago, I told my 7-year-old son about a story I’m writing for kids. I mentioned that I’d been working on this story for months. “How come you never told me before?” he wanted to know. He was genuinely shocked—maybe even a little hurt—that I’d kept the plot points to myself. “I guess I didn’t think you’d be interested,” I told him truthfully. He is obsessed with soccer and ice hockey, and mine is a story of girls, time travel, and shyness. But it bothered him that I had a story I’d chosen not to mention. From now on, I’ll err on the side of sharing the things I dream up even if they have nothing to do with soccer balls and hockey pucks.

3. Tell your story to yourself—and make sure you tell the right one. If you’re having trouble constructing an honest yet positive life narrative, here is an exercise to help you. Just ask yourself these three things:

  • Can you think of an early part of your life when you felt strong and happy? If you had a difficult childhood or other challenges that prevent you from identifying this starting place, try thinking of the time when you were still cradled in the womb.
  • What was the challenge, or series of challenges, that came along to threaten your strength and peace?
  • Can you find meaning in these challenges? You don’t need a classic happy ending as long as you’ve found meaning. And don’t worry if you’re not there yet. Just think of the outcome you’d like to see one day. And remember the words of mythologist Joseph Campbell: “Where you stumble is where your treasure lies.”

Want to share your story? I’d love to hear them!

These quick, one-time-only exercises can teach us about ourselves and what we want—and how we can tell our story. The bonus? You might just end up with a book.

By Leigh Newman

1. Your 3-Sentence Life Story

What to write: Try to summarize your life in two or three sentences. Take your time. Think about your past. “But mostly think about who you are today and how you got that way,” says Roberta Temes, PhD, psychologist and author of How to Write a Memoir in 30 Days. “Maybe you want to focus on a certain relationship, maybe a certain theme. or maybe a feeling that has persisted for years.”

Consider these examples before putting pen to paper:

Loving mom who worked all the time, no dad. Never really got over lonely childhood.

Love my life, love my dog, love my kids. No room for a guy.

Finally sober. Exhausting journey. Many regrets.

Beautiful, close family. And then the accident.

Fears and phobias finally overcome, thanks to husband. Still not sure if I deserve him.

Why it helps: First off, if you want to write a memoir, this three-sentence description will form the structure of your book. In effect, it’s a supershort story of your life—a beginning, a middle and the now, if you will. Even if you have zero impulse to write another word, however, the exercise can show you how you view yourself, your past and your present, all of which can inform your future. Unless, of course, you change the narrative—a privilege granted to any writer.

2. Your Crucial Incident (or Incidents)

What to write: Choose one or more of the sentences below and write a page or two that begins with that particular sentence. Don’t worry about bringing up material that you are afraid might be too painful to explore, says Temes. “Please don’t bother with grammar or spelling or punctuation issues. “Just write for yourself and for your clarity of mind.”

Sentence 1: I was just a kid, but.

Sentence 2: I tried my best and.

Sentence 3: In that moment everything changed.

Sentence 4: It was shocking to find out that.

Sentence 5: It was the proudest day of my life. I couldn’t stop smiling when.

Why it helps: Sometimes we avoid the most obvious—and complicated—events that have happened to us, events that inform our whole life story. Let’s say your three-sentence exercise was Loving mom who worked all the time, no dad. Never really got over lonely childhood. Maybe you could try, “I was just a kid but. ” or “I tried my best but. ” Was there something else that happened that prevented you from getting over your lonely childhood? Did it happen when you were a child—or later? Did it involve parents? You don’t have to know the answers to these questions. Let the pre-written prompts guide you. “Don’t think and write,” says Temes. “Just write.”

3) Your Secret Why

What to write: Take a minute to think about the previous two exercises. Then, please finish this sentence; I’d like to really understand everything that led me to _______________.

Here are some examples (it’s okay to add an additional sentence or two):

I’d like to really understand everything that led me to marry Blake. He was so wrong for me and I don’t want to make another mistake.

I’d like to really understand everything that led me to choose architecture as my life’s work. Did it have to do with the way we lived when I was growing up?

I’d like to really understand everything that led me to become such a good mom, considering I had no role model.

I’d like to really understand everything that led me to never get along with my step-mother. Now that she’s gone I realize what a good person she was and how she tried to have a relationship with me.

Why it helps: There’s no need to do the actual examination and investigation now. Instead, just focus on identifying what it is you might delve into someday—in a memoir or in the pages of a journal or just in your mind. What truth is important for you to get at? You have a structure (your three sentences), you have a crucial event (that may have caused or contributed to that life story) and now you have a purpose—a reason for writing that will let you learn, enjoy and even be surprised by the story you’ve been waiting to tell yourself and—maybe, just maybe, the world, as well.

Roberta Temes, PhD, is the author of
How to Write a Memoir in 30 Days, which includes other exercises like these.

The strength in storytelling

Posted November 27, 2012

One of the reasons I began blogging is because I had a story to tell, one I intended to live out loud, on a public stage, recording along the way the journey of how I had lost my mojo and how I would get it back. Making this one decision to tell my story transformed my life forever.

Since then, I’ve been telling my story while inviting other bloggers in the Owning Pink community to tell theirs and inviting readers to share their stories in the comments and on the Owning Pink forum.

I was also given the chance to tell my story when my friend Christine Bronstein, founder of A Band Of Wives, invited me to contribute to a book she was compiling called Nothing But The Truth So Help Me God, a book of personal revelations told by 51 women who hold nothing back. (You can read my review of the book here).

If you’ve been longing to tell your story, feeling like you’ve got a song in you that’s yet unsung, Christine and I have good news for you! Because Christine so believes in the healing power of telling your story and sharing it with the world, she has created an opportunity I’m so solidly behind that I agreed to help spread the word.

The My Story Project

If you’re interested in being one of the storytelling voices in Nothing But The Truth So Help Me God and having your story published alongside many other fearless women unapologetically telling their stories, I invite you to participate in My Story, a customized version of Nothing But the Truth So Help Me God: 51 Women Reveal the Power of Positive Female Connection, where you (or if you’re a guy, the women in your life) can go online at and enter your own story (up to 2,000 words) and art, and your story will become the last chapter of a customized version of the book. (Woot! Check that off your bucket list. You’ll be a published author!)

The My Story project gives you an opportunity to flex your voice, have your story witnessed, see yourself in print, and create a book with your own story of positive female connection in a book with other awesome female authors.


Because telling your story—while being witnessed with loving attention by others who care—may be the most powerful medicine on earth. Each us is a constantly unfolding narrative, a hero in a novel no one else can write. And yet so many of us leave our stories untold, our songs unsung—and when this happens, we wind up feeling lonely, listless, out of touch with our life’s purpose, plagued with a chronic sense that something is out of alignment. We may even wind up feeling unworthy, unloved, or sick.

Every time you tell your story and someone else who cares bears witness to it, you turn off the body’s stress responses, flipping off toxic stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine and flipping on relaxation responses that release healing hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, nitric oxide, and endorphins. Not only does this turn on the body’s innate self-repair mechanisms and function as preventative medicine—or treatment if you’re sick. It also relaxes your nervous system and helps heal your mind of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, and feelings of disconnection.

You Are Not Alone

If I could sum up everything I’ve learned from over four years of blogging, it would boil down to one thing—you are not alone.

So many of us are tormented by the insane idea that we’re separate, disconnected beings suffering all by our little lonesome selves. I say this from experience. That’s exactly how I felt when I started blogging, as if I was the only one in the whole wide world who had lost her mojo and longed to get it back. Then I started telling my story—and voila! Millions of people showed to tell me they had lost their mojo too—or even more inspiring, that they had once lost theirs and since gotten it back.

How had they gotten their mojo back? By telling their story.

The Power of Storytelling

When we tell our stories and others bear witness, the notion that we are disconnected beings suffering alone dissolves under the weight of evidence that this whole concept is merely an illusion and that millions of others are suffering just like us. They say misery loves company, and it’s true! The minute you discover that someone else is suffering just like you—or even better, that they’re celebrating their wholeness just like you—that sense of disconnection eases and you start to glimpse the truth—that we are beings of vibrating energy, connected on the energy internet through processes like quantum entanglement, with overlapping consciousness that connects us to a divine Source and to the Inner Pilot Light of every being on this planet (and perhaps others.)

The Power of Vulnerability

In order to benefit fully from the healing medicine of telling your story, you must resist holding anything back. You must strip off your masks, be unapologetically you, ditch worrying about what “everybody” is going to think, and let your glorious freak flag fly. Otherwise, your story becomes a watered down, milk toast version of who you are.

As Brené Brown teaches in her TEDx talk The Power Of Vulnerability, the gateway to intimacy is via being vulnerable about your imperfections. If you try to sugar coat your story, you miss out on the sense of connection with another human being that you can only attain when you’re letting someone see your warts and your big ugly tail. Every time you expose those imperfections—and someone loves you in spite of—even because of—those imperfections, you gain trust (or as Brené calls it, you “put marbles in the jar”). Over time, the intimacy you feel with other people depends on how many marbles are in your jar.

You Ready To Tell Your Story?

We all have within us a story to tell, a song yet unsung. Is it time for you to tell your story? Click here to get started .

Or tell us your story here in the comments.

Where you stumble is where your treasure lies.

Posted May 11, 2011

When you look back at your life, do you assemble the events, and your reactions to them, into a cohesive narrative? Is it a cheerful tale, or a wistful one, or are you living an adventure story with hairpin plot twists and an unguessable ending?

At the Foley Center for the Study of Lives at Northwestern University, a psychologist named Dan McAdams studies the stories people tell about themselves. We all write our life stories as if we were novelists, McAdams believes, with beginnings, conflicts, turning points, and endings. And the way we characterize our past setbacks profoundly influences how satisfied we are with our current lives. Unhappy people tend to see setbacks as contaminants that ruined an otherwise good thing (“I was never the same after my wife left me”) while generative adults see them as blessings in disguise (“The divorce was the most painful thing that ever happened to me, but I’m so much happier with my new wife.”)

Those who live the most fully realized lives — giving back to their families, societies, and ultimately themselves — tend to find meaning in their obstacles. In a sense, McAdams has breathed new life into one of the great insights of Western mythology: that where we stumble is where our treasure lies. (The jewel lies between the dragon’s teeth, the golden key lays buried in the tangled thicket — that kind of thing.)

I’ve thought a lot about this idea in terms of my relationship to public speaking (which I’ve written about a lot, for example, in this post about the body’s Stop and Go systems, and my Year of Speaking Dangerously.) I would love to be the kind of person who assumes the spotlight without a second thought. I would love not to have endured the sleepless nights and abject horror that I’ve suffered too often in the days and hours before giving a talk. Yet I sense that there is meaning to be made from this shyness.

Where have you stumbled? Did you make something meaningful of it? If not, it might be worth revisiting.

Also, be sure to sign up for my newsletter. Get blog updates, plus a chance to win a half-hour coaching phone session with me. (Periodic drawings.)

For earlier posts on the Power of Introverts, please visit my website here.

Want to join the QUIET Online Book Club, for thoughtful, cerebral people? Please go here.

Why Tell Your Life Story?

Why tell your life story? There are many reasons. Telling your life story, the biography or autobiography of your life is something you should really do.

So, again, why tell your life story? I can think of two very important reasons .

First there is the need to find the real meaning life has for you. This journey we are all on is a varied one, for sure, but there are some similar things we are all going through.

Each of us, in our search for meaning in life, has a vast amount of experience to draw upon. Our struggles and hardship, along with our achievements and blessings, teach us life’s lessons. Your experience, your strength and the hope that endures are part of your unique story — and part of the reason why you should tell your life story.

The second primary reason to tell your life story is to leave your mark. This is what we call your legacy . We all want to be remembered. Certainly we want to be remembered for the good we’ve done and for the significant accomplishments in our lives. There is satisfaction in a life well-lived. Living a life fully. richly experiencing what it means to be alive and involved in helping others is a great thing. To share with others who you are, what you are about and what you believe in is passing on some very valuable personal history.

This story is of great value.

How to tell your life storyThe process of telling your life story will help you identify the core values and beliefs you hold. Sharing it will pass on valuable lessons to others.

The benefit of that should be apparent. Children, spouses, relatives, friends, coworkers, and even complete strangers all love to learn more about other people. We thirst for this knowledge. It helps us, because we find out that all people have a story to tell that can enrich our own lives. We revel in the triumphs. We grow in our struggles. Sharing our difficulties is part of why you tell your true life story.

What story will you tell?

The most common forms of life stories are biographies and autobiographies. A biography is your story as told by someone else. The autobiography means you are writing it. Both are records of life events, memories, thoughts and lessons learned. It is the experiences and observations of them that make each story unique.

This typically encompasses one’s entire life and is full of memories from childhood through later stages. It usually flows chronologically.

You can also write a memoir. Your memoir is a collection of values, recollections and stories about your life and may cover just certain aspects or times of your life or your entire life to date. However, memoirs are not as focused on a historical recap or your life chronology.

Instead of concentrating on your entire life, you might want to consider focusing on a particular period or event. Many military personnel desire to record their experiences, especially those who’ve served overseas or in conflicts. People who’ve been through the hardship of disease and addiction have found that experience to be tremendously profound, especially when they’ve recovered against incredible odds. They have a powerful testimony to share. Same goes for times of achievement in athletics, work or adventure.

The personal journey to faith in God can be especially rewarding to write and to share. Your spiritual or special life experience story is often a life changing event and can be the basis of a powerful personal history (see more about this option).

How you will tell your life story includes a choice of format and the decision of whether to involve others. Writing is a difficult challenge for many, although it is easier than feared. Most people don’t do it enough to get past those fears. Having some tools that will assist in writing your life story can be very helpful.

There is the process of journaling and various types of journals that can keep you going. Memory-inducing books and methods can also be of great help. There are even games you can play that will help you mine your past.

Once you’ve decided on what type of life story you are going to do the next step will be How you will tell it.

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Selling true life stories for adaptation as a Made-For-TV-Movie, Drama Series, Docuseries, or Reality TV Series.

Life is stranger than fiction, and often more entertaining. Many times we’ve seen the feature film, television movie, or even dramatic series based on a persons true life story. In television we’re familiar with the biographical made-for-tv-movies that virtually every network produces. These stories can span genres from an against-all-odds miracle story that takes place in a small town with otherwise regular folk as the hero, or an epic mini-series that brings new insight to a popular historical figure we all thought we knew. Any of these examples of dramatized life stories can be adaptations of best-selling biographies. But for the purposes of understanding this genre as it relates to selling a person’s life story to the Hollywood television industry, it is necessary to focus on the marketing of a persons life experiences/ profession/ or specific event that they believe would translate into an intriguing television project.

Before discussing the narrative aspect of adapting a person’s life story for sale, it is important to understand the legalities involved so that you can be sure you have the right to sell yours or another person’s life story rights.

If you are telling the story of your life, or a period in your life, you have the right to negotiate for sell your experiences as they are substantiated by your own record or common knowledge of others. If you are selling the life experiences of another person for adaptation as a film, you will need to have an “option” agreement with that person. In it’s most basic form, for the purposes of simply being able to find a buyer (producer or production company) an option agreement can be outlined in a simple deal memo. You should be given “Exclusive Right” to sell that person’s life story rights to any third party producer, company or distributor for the purposes of developing and producing a televised or theatrical production to be publicly aired and released. More specific details of partnership and participation should be resolved between yourself and the person whose life story rights you are selling before you ever approach any third party. You do not want to get a buyer interested and not be able to legally deliver the product you are pitching. If you would like more specific advice or information regarding industry standards for this issue or any other partnership agreements for selling a project, we recommend consulting an entertainment attorney.

So lets assume you are selling yours or a friends amazing life story to be optioned by a production company, and you are now piecing together a treatment or synopsis for presentation. There are three key elements that are very important to any development executive or producer considering your project; the story, the key character, and the commercial viability of the project:

Event or Story : There are always moments or dramatic events in our lives that are so incredible one could think “this should be a movie!”. However, one event does not make a dramatic story unto itself, and many times a dramatic story does not suit well for a televised or filmed adaptation. However, such specific events can become the focal point by which a larger dramatic story is told that a producer or network may take an interest in. How has that event changed someone’s life? What led to the event or events, and what new course were the people or persons involved set on? What is the point of social relevance within this story? What does the main character overcome or accomplish that brings redemption or irony to their life? As you will always see, it is never just about an event. It’s always about the person.

Identify the protagonist (Hero, or main character) from whose point of view the story is told. This is perhaps the most important choice when adapting a story to be dramatized. It may not always be the most obvious or centralized character when first looking at the story that is being covered, but it should be the most unique. And it is that person’s story arc that we will witness as the movie unfolds.

What makes a unique protagonist?: People love inspirational stories of the underdog who survives against all odds. It more often gives the viewer something to relate to and root for. It is an example of a choice in Protagonist that brings an emotional experience to the audience.

When exploring the development of a unique protagonist or main character in your story, there are some very important choices to make when illustrating this person within a screenplay, and more importantly, when giving limited information in a three to seven page treatment that you will submit to producers. If you look at all the great character-driven pieces you will see that what is explored in each protagonist is not just the obvious, but sometimes the opposite. In a hero, don’t just focus on the great qualities, but find his weaknesses and downfalls. This gives him a human quality. Conversely, in a main character who is primarily bad or of criminal persuasion, find his qualities that are good and explore his struggle within his poor choice making in life. This helps an audience care or sympathize with someone whose agenda may be clearly bad, but brings truth to the story by “humanizing it”. Nothing is black and white. To bring a three dimensional illustration to any main character of a story, one needs to approach that character with no assumptions and ready to discover all sides of the person and what makes them tick.

Commercial Viability: An important aspect of any dramatized story is that audiences love stories that are based on true events. The important thing for any writer or producer to understand in trying to sell a true life story for adaptation is knowing or discovering what issue or subject within the story has social relevance at this time. These “issues” of social relevance can be anything, eg. How a family copes with a son or daughter fighting a war, same sex couples fighting for adoption, or an athlete who overcomes certain death by cancer and survives to come back and win the most grueling athletic event in the world. All of these stories have issues that impact society heavily or in a unique way. If you believe that your personal story, or the story of a person whose life you are writing into a treatment for adaptation could have the same impact of relevance it is important to find that key issue and point of view that an audience will be enthralled by. The audience wants an emotional experience that they can relate to on some level. Find that message in your story and you may garner the attention of producers who want to develop it into a movie or series.

How to install a toilet paper holder

How to install a toilet paper holder

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Your bathroom remodel includes many details, and where to mount the toilet paper holder is one of them. Do you put it just anywhere? The National Kitchen and Bath Association studies bathroom ergonomics and flow and provides standard measurements that work best not only for the placement of your toilet, sink and bath, but for your toilet paper holder as well.

Height Placement

According to the NKBA, a wall-mounted toilet paper holder works best if installed 26 inches above the floor, on center. “On center” means that the center of the holder, as opposed to the bottom or top of it, is 26 inches above the floor. This installation height works well with standard as well as comfort height, or handicapped, toilets.

Distance From Toilet

The other important measurement is that it should be placed eight to 12 inches, on center, from the toilet to the facing wall. Measure from the very front of the toilet bowl. To optimize this measurement, consider the average height of household members and place it eight to 10 inches from the front of the bowl for shorter users and households with kids; place it 10 to 12 inches in front of the bowl for households consisting of taller members.

Final Option

If you are unable to permanently wall mount or cabinet mount a dispenser within these optimal measurements, consider a free-standing dispenser.

How to find a physician assistant

Definition & Examples of Physician Assistants

How to find a physician assistant

A physician assistant (PA) is a medical professional who practices under the direction of a licensed physician.

Learn more about PAs, what they do, and how to become one.

What Is a Physician Assistant?

A physician assistant is a member of a medical team that includes doctors, surgeons, nurses, and other healthcare professionals. Commonly called a PA, these individuals provide primary medical services.  

Sometimes a PA is incorrectly called a physician’s assistant, implying that they assist a doctor instead of being a primary care provider in their own right. While PAs must be supervised by doctors, they don’t have to be on the premises of the medical facility while the PA is working with a patient.  

  • Acronym: PA

How a Physician Assistant Works

As care providers, PAs can perform a wide range of services, including:

  • Taking comprehensive medical histories
  • Performing physical exams
  • Ordering and interpreting diagnostic tests
  • Collaborating with the other members of the patient’s healthcare team
  • Diagnosing injuries and illnesses
  • Prescribing medications
  • Documenting and communicating relevant patient information
  • Counseling and educating patients regarding health maintenance and disease prevention  

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, physician assistants earned a median annual salary of $112,260 in 2019. A median salary means that half of all PAs earned more and half earned less. PA employment is expected to grow much faster than average through 2028.   Most PAs work full-time in doctors’ offices and hospitals.  

Requirements for a Physician Assistant

To become a PA, you’ll need to earn a master’s degree from a PA training program that has received accreditation from the Accreditation Review Commission on Education for the Physician Assistant (ARC-PA). These programs typically take three academic years.

Entrance requirements for PA training programs vary, but at least two years of college coursework, including classes in chemistry, anatomy, and biology are generally required. Many PA programs also require a significant amount of hands-on patient care experience. You can gain this experience in several ways, including working as an EMT or paramedic, medical assistant, phlebotomist, nurse, medical technician, or as a certified nursing assistant.

Once accepted into a PA program, coursework includes pathology, anatomy, diagnosis, and medical ethics and along with participation in supervised clinical training in one or more areas of medicine.

After graduation, all 50 states and the District of Columbia require PAs to obtain a professional license. To do this, you must pass the Physician Assistant National Certifying Examination (PANCE), which the National Commission on Certification of Physician Assistants (NCCPA) administers.

PA certification must be renewed every 10 years. Re-certification requires completing 100 hours of continuing education every two years and take a re-certification exam every 10 years. The NCCPA maintains a list of licensing boards for each state.  

Some confuse physician assistants with medical assistants, but they’re very different. A PA is a primary care provider with a master’s degree, while a medical assistant performs basic clinical tasks and may have a certificate from a post-secondary program.  

Essential Physician Assistant Skills

There’s more to becoming a PA than education and technical knowledge. Employers will be looking for a range of ​soft skills, including:

Definition & Examples of Physician Assistants

How to find a physician assistant

A physician assistant (PA) is a medical professional who practices under the direction of a licensed physician.

Learn more about PAs, what they do, and how to become one.

What Is a Physician Assistant?

A physician assistant is a member of a medical team that includes doctors, surgeons, nurses, and other healthcare professionals. Commonly called a PA, these individuals provide primary medical services.  

Sometimes a PA is incorrectly called a physician’s assistant, implying that they assist a doctor instead of being a primary care provider in their own right. While PAs must be supervised by doctors, they don’t have to be on the premises of the medical facility while the PA is working with a patient.  

  • Acronym: PA

How a Physician Assistant Works

As care providers, PAs can perform a wide range of services, including:

  • Taking comprehensive medical histories
  • Performing physical exams
  • Ordering and interpreting diagnostic tests
  • Collaborating with the other members of the patient’s healthcare team
  • Diagnosing injuries and illnesses
  • Prescribing medications
  • Documenting and communicating relevant patient information
  • Counseling and educating patients regarding health maintenance and disease prevention  

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, physician assistants earned a median annual salary of $112,260 in 2019. A median salary means that half of all PAs earned more and half earned less. PA employment is expected to grow much faster than average through 2028.   Most PAs work full-time in doctors’ offices and hospitals.  

Requirements for a Physician Assistant

To become a PA, you’ll need to earn a master’s degree from a PA training program that has received accreditation from the Accreditation Review Commission on Education for the Physician Assistant (ARC-PA). These programs typically take three academic years.

Entrance requirements for PA training programs vary, but at least two years of college coursework, including classes in chemistry, anatomy, and biology are generally required. Many PA programs also require a significant amount of hands-on patient care experience. You can gain this experience in several ways, including working as an EMT or paramedic, medical assistant, phlebotomist, nurse, medical technician, or as a certified nursing assistant.

Once accepted into a PA program, coursework includes pathology, anatomy, diagnosis, and medical ethics and along with participation in supervised clinical training in one or more areas of medicine.

After graduation, all 50 states and the District of Columbia require PAs to obtain a professional license. To do this, you must pass the Physician Assistant National Certifying Examination (PANCE), which the National Commission on Certification of Physician Assistants (NCCPA) administers.

PA certification must be renewed every 10 years. Re-certification requires completing 100 hours of continuing education every two years and take a re-certification exam every 10 years. The NCCPA maintains a list of licensing boards for each state.  

Some confuse physician assistants with medical assistants, but they’re very different. A PA is a primary care provider with a master’s degree, while a medical assistant performs basic clinical tasks and may have a certificate from a post-secondary program.  

Essential Physician Assistant Skills

There’s more to becoming a PA than education and technical knowledge. Employers will be looking for a range of ​soft skills, including:

The 275 ARC-PA accredited PA programs are listed below in the listing of institutions that sponsor the programs. The listing is alphabetically by state. It includes information on the accreditation status of the programs, the timing of the next scheduled accreditation action and a summary of the commission’s actions. (Please note that some programs do not have commission actions identified from their initial accreditation, depending upon the date of those actions. Before December 31, 1976, programs were accredited by the American Medical Association Council on Medical Education. From January 1, 1977-June 30, 1994, programs were accredited by the American Medical Association Committee on Allied Health Education and Accreditation [CAHEA]; from July 1, 1994-December 31, 2000, the Commission on Accreditation of Allied Health Education Programs [CAAHEP].) ARC-PA has been the accrediting organization since January 1, 2001.

Clicking on the Sponsoring Institution name below should open the program’s or institution’s web page. Specific address information for programs can be found on their individual web sites. The Physician Assistant Education Association’s web site (PAEA) allows one to search for program by state.

Programs that do not currently offer a graduate degree must transition to conferring a graduate degree, which should be awarded by the sponsoring institution, upon all PA students who matriculate into the program after 2020. Programs that are not in compliance with the degree requirement by January 1, 2021 will have their accreditation withdrawn. Students who matriculate into such programs will be entering an unaccredited program.

SPECIAL NOTE: Please go to the Council for Higher Education Accreditation (CHEA), for more information regarding accreditation, degree mills, and accreditation mills.

A listing of accredited clinical postgraduate programs is located in the clinical postgraduate area.

Florida law requires Physician Assistants (PAs) to notify the Board in writing within 30 days after employment, or after any subsequent change in the supervising physician. This means when a PA begins employment, ends employment and when there are changes to the supervising physician (adding one or deleting one). PAs can be disciplined for failing to perform this legal obligation.

Notification should be completed by using the Supervision Data Form, Form DH-MQA 2004, which is available on the web page at , under the Resources tab. Florida law requires specific information be provided when notifying the Board about changes in employment and/or supervising physicians. The required information includes the supervising physician’s full name, Florida medical license number, specialty and the supervising physician’s address.

A common error that occurs when completing the Supervision Data Form is failure to complete the form in its entirety. Specifically, the complete beginning and ending dates of employment must be provided – the month, date and year.

A physician may delegate only those tasks and procedures to the PA that are within the supervising physician’s scope of practice, and are tasks and procedures which the supervising physician is qualified by training and experience to perform. The decision to permit a PA to perform a task or procedure, whether under direct or indirect supervision, is based on the patient and the PA’s knowledge and skills in performing said tasks and procedures. Rule 64B8-30.012, Florida Administrative Code lists duties that cannot be delegated to a PA unless expressly permitted by statute. The rule also lists duties that are not to be performed under indirect supervision. All tasks and procedures performed by a PA must be documented in the patient’s medical record.

In the event of an emergency, the PA can act in accordance with his/her training and knowledge to maintain life support until a physician assumes responsibility for the patient.

Pertinent laws:
• s. 458.347, Florida Statutes – Physician Assistants

Pertinent rules:
• Rule 64B8-30.003, Florida Administrative Code – Physician Assistant Licensure
• Rule 64B8-30.012, Florida Administrative Code – Physician Assistant Performance

For more information, please visit the Board’s web site at Also find the Board on its newly created Twitter account – @FLBoardofMED.

More Latest News

State Surgeon General Scott A. Rivkees issued Emergency Order 21-001 granting licensure renewal extensions Continue reading →

National Transportation Safety Board issues recommendations to states on prescribing controlled substances for pain and the dangers of operating a vehicle in any mode of transportation Continue reading →

You have done your research and you want to become a Physician Assistant. You’ve probably even thought about other healthcare careers like nurse practitioner or medical doctor, but something in your heart is telling you PA is the right choice for you. You start hammering the internet looking for resources, compiling your hours of healthcare experience and taking all of your pre-requisites. All of this is necessary and practical, but before you spend thousands of hours and dollars on applying to PA school, you better damn well know this is your dream job. In my opinion, the most important thing you can do to solidify your desire to become a PA, is to shadow a practicing PA. Until you really see a PA in action, how we function as part of the healthcare team, how we work with our supervising physicians, can you really get a true feel for the profession. It may be everything you had imagined, but in some cases it may not.

With that being said, identifying a PA that would be willing to let you shadow can seem like an insurmountable task. Maybe you are like me and are the first one in your family to go into the medical profession. Maybe you probably feel super annoying asking or think it is an inconvenience. Well, I am here to tell you that as a practicing PA, I am NEVER annoyed by this request. And if you really want to get into PA school, you will need to get over yourself and get out there!!

Here are my recommendations for finding a Shadowing Opportunity NEAR YOU:

>> Reach out to your local, regional and state PA chapters are excellent resources. They often have a list of PAs willing to take a pre-PA student.

>> Research local MD offices and hospitals in your area to see if they have practicing PAs..Hell, walk into an urgent care or ER and you are sure to find one in there! Be resourceful.

>> Dig into your extended family and friends for resources..someone has got to know a PA!!

>> SOCIAL MEDIA..What an amazing resource to look for shadowing opportunities. The PA community on Instagram is amazing. You can also find resources on LinkedIn and Facebook. (if you don’t follow me there..GO NOW!

>> THE PA POSSE… When a Star or Superstar, I will assist you in finding your shadower wherever you are in the US… for FREE!! Dont know what Im talking about? Find info on The PA Posse page

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Become a Valued Member of Your Emergency Department Team
As a Physician Assistant or Nurse Practitioner you play a critical role in improving the level of care in Emergency Department. At Vituity, we never forget that. To ensure your success, we provide the systems of support you need to practice to the full extent of your education and training.
The Vituity Team. When you join Vituity, one of the leading multispecialty medical groups in the United States, you’ll work closely with physicians who respect your skills, training, and judgement. We offer unparalleled professional development support to help you enhance your clinical foundation, grow as a leader, and reach your professional goals.

The Opportunity

  • Seeking ED/UCC physician assistants and nurse practitioners with current national certification, DEA and ACLS
  • Current state license a plus
  • 1-2 years of EM experience as an AP (outside of training) required

The Practice
AMITA Health Medical Center – Aurora, Illinois

  • AMITA Health is a non-profit system across Illinois, including 11 hospitals
  • The 124 bed facility is a Level II Trauma Center and has an Emergency Department that sees over 40,000 patients annually
  • AMITA Mercy Medical Center is one of the first hospitals in Illinois, and the first in Kane County, to be an accredited chest pain center

The Community

  • Located in the greater Chicago region, less than an hour drive from downtown, with easy access to the luxuries of large metropolitan areas
  • Home to historic architectural sites, the Hollywood Casino Aurora, and plenty of other entertainment activities
  • Enjoy the full array of seasons with Aurora’s mild summers, picturesque winters, and sunny springs

Our passion for patient care unifies us across practice sites and specialties. We know that when we work together as an integrated healthcare team, we can exceed the expectations of our patients and the hospitals and clinics we work in. If you’re looking for a medical partnership where you can transform your practice with a team of providers who strive to balance great work with a full life-contact us today. Come grow with us!
Applicants Only. No Agencies Please.

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More information

Northern Arizona University’s PA program

Start a career in a rewarding, high-demand sector of health care by joining the Northern Arizona University Physician Assistant (PA) program, Arizona’s only public university PA program. Graduates will study in the state-of-the-art Phoenix Biomedical CampusВ a 30-acre medical and bioscience campus in downtown Phoenix.В The program operates in collaboration with the University of Arizona – Phoenix College of Medicine.

Our program offers:

Upon completion of the program, graduates will graduate with a Master of Physician Assistant Studies (MPAS).

We offer real-world experience

The program’s Phoenix location will offer graduates real-world education in well-established hospitals and clinics in cooperation with other public university colleges of medicine, nursing, public health, and pharmacy.

Our mission and goals shape your education

The mission of the Northern Arizona University Physician Assistant Program is to recruit individuals of the highest possible quality from diverse backgrounds and life experiences to the profession.

We will equip graduates with clinical and professional knowledge, skills, and abilities to provide high-quality, compassionate medical care for the people of Arizona.

To read more about our mission, visit our program goals and successes page.

Graduate performance on certification exam (PANCE)

For more detailed data, viewВ The Physician Assistant National Certifying Examination Five Year First Time Taker Summary ReportВ and The Physician Assistant National Certifying Examination Exam Performance (All Test Takers) Summary Report for the Northern Arizona University PA Program

Learn more about Alberta’s newest regulated healthcare professional

How to find a physician assistant

Information for PAs

Tools & support for physician assistants

How to find a physician assistant

PA Registration

How to apply to practise as a PA

About Physician Assistants

Physician Assistants (PAs) are trained healthcare providers who work under the supervision of a physician. PAs work in a variety of clinical team settings to complement existing services and help improve patient access to quality health care.

PA Regulation

On April 1, 2021, PAs came under CPSA regulation. We’ve supported this move for years and welcome them as the newest regulated member of Alberta’s healthcare team.

As professionals supervised by physicians, PAs are to follow all CPSA Standards of Practice and comply with our continuing competence requirements.

History of PAs

Physician assistants have a long history serving Canadians either in the public healthcare system or in the Canadian Armed Forces. While this may be the first time many have heard of PAs, they’ve played an important role in health care for decades.

“Physician assistants have played an important role in health care for decades.”

– Dr. Scott McLeod, CPSA Registrar

Physician Assistant FAQs

Are there registration fees for physician assistants (PAs)?

Yes, PAs will have to pay:

  • A one-time registration fee of $400.00
  • A practice permit annual fee of $537.50

*At its March 5, 2021 meeting, CPSA Council approved to waive both PA fees for 2021.

As a CPSA registered physician assistant (PA), can I bill Alberta Health for my services?

No. Physician assistants cannot bill Alberta Health independently. PAs are paid by their group or Primary Care Network (PCN).

Do military physician assistants (PAs) have to register with CPSA?

If a PA in the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) is seeing civilian patients in Alberta, they must register with CPSA.

Do physician assistants (PAs) have to renew their registration every year?

Yes, PAs must renew their registration annually.

How can I hire a physician assistant?

The Canadian Association of Physician Assistants (CAPA) posts physician assistant (PA) positions on their website free of charge for employers. CAPA can also email job advertisements to their Canada-wide membership (

700 PAs) for a fee of $250. See more information.

How does the role of physician assistant differ from other healthcare professionals?

This chart helps explain how PAs fit in among others who provide similar levels of care:

I’m a physician assistant and I’ve voluntarily registered with CPSA. Do I need to formally register?

Previously, our process was to maintain a listing of PAs who voluntarily shared their names, credentials and contact information with us. As of April 1, 2021, PAs will need to formally register with CPSA.

What is CPSA’s responsibility regarding physician assistants?

On April 1, 2021, CPSA started regulating PAs. We have long supported physician assistant regulation, and have been engaged with PAs since 2010. Before the start of formal regulation, we had more than 60 PAs on our voluntary listing.

Registered PAs will continue to practise under physician supervision and like physicians, they will have to pay annual fees, hold liability insurance and follow CPSA’s Standards of Practice. They will also be responsible for complying with our continuing competence requirements.

What is a physician assistant?

Physician assistants (PAs) are healthcare professionals who have the knowledge, training and skills to provide a broad range of medical services within healthcare teams. PAs provide care to patients under the supervision of a physician registered for independent practice in Alberta.

What responsibilities do physician assistants (PAs) have as regulated healthcare professionals?

As professionals supervised by physicians, PAs will be expected to follow all CPSA Standards of Practice and comply with CPSA continuing competence requirements.

With CPSA regulation starting April 1, 2021, PAs will need to formally register with CPSA.

What services are offered by a physician assistant (PA)?

The services offered by a PA depend on the individual PA-physician relationship. Some PAs see and assess patients, take patient histories, perform physical exams, educate patients, perform procedures, assist in surgery and more. PAs provide these types of services under physician supervision.

What type of education is needed to become a physician assistant (PA)?

PAs in Canada receive their medical education through university programs designed to meet competencies outlined by the Canadian Association of Physician Assistants (CAPA). There are four PA education programs in Canada, and each program sets its own admission requirements.