How to tell your life story

All Pro Dad

People have asked me several times whether I am interested in writing a book. I normally say no. In fact, I gave that answer the last time somebody asked at a dinner party. As my wife and I drove home, she asked why I have no interest in writing a book. I said, “I don’t think my story is worth writing in a book. Who will want to read it?” That’s when she said, “Everyone has a life story worthy of a book.”

I believe she’s right. Your life story is certainly worth telling. Even if it’s only for your children and grandchildren, it is valuable to record. Future generations can experience how you felt and reacted in your time. Whether you write your story down, record it, or simply tell your children about your life, the following 10 questions will help you get started.

1. Who Are You?

Where did you come from and where are you going? What are your passions and strongly held beliefs? Define the person you are and how you got to that point.

2. Where have you struggled?

We all suffer sometimes. What are the moments that challenged and molded you? Sharing your wounds enables others to connect with you emotionally.

3. What are you passionate about?

Your legacy is the footprint you made in the world. Display and explain the passion that led you to successful outcomes. What do you love the most? What makes your heart race and your temperature rise?

4. In what areas have you gained expertise?

We learn through experience. And with experience, we gain expertise. What solutions have you discovered? In what does your expertise lie? Where in life are you “the man?”

5. What is your worldview?

What is your “message” to the world? What are your philosophies and wisdom gained? Define a central message you most wish to convey and run it continuously throughout your story.

6. What is your honest story?

Keep your story on point. Keep it simple and keep it direct. Always be honest and sincere. Your life is interesting enough. No need for embellishment.

7. To whom do you owe gratitude?

No successful life is accomplished alone. Give credit to the people in your life who have helped you on your journey. Tell stories about the people who influenced you and lifted you up to the heights you have reached.

8. How do you relate to others?

How can you make yourself relatable to a later generation? How can you reach out into the future and lend a comforting hand? Some things in life never change. Matters of the heart, hopes, dreams, and fears—talk often of these.

9. What are your failures?

Do not be afraid to share your failures and shortcomings—especially how they helped you grow. These are as important as any great successes. No man is perfect and no life is perfect. Describe in humorous detail your many faults.

10. What have been the greatest moments of your life?

These are the moments you stood at a crossroads and made the right choice. This is the day your child was born. The moment you discovered God. The memories that make you smile and fill you with gratitude.

Sound off: What has been the greatest moment of your life?

Huddle Up Question

Huddle up and ask your kids, “What is your favorite memory?”

These days everyone’s talking about writing your story. Not just any old story, but the story of your life, the road map that got you to where you are today. For most of us that’s a pretty daunting thought. I mean, why would anyone be interested in hearing our story anyway?

How to tell your life story

Well, I’m a big proponent of this personal story writing business, and I’ll tell you why: it changed my life.

I used to write fiction. I loved hiding behind the facades of the characters I created. But then my work led me into writing for a magazine where people share their personal stories, and I found myself on unfamiliar territory.

I actually had no interest in sharing my story—I wasn’t a fiction writer for nothing. I thought my past was empty and depressing. But given my role as both a writer and editor for this magazine, I really didn’t have much choice.

So I sat down at my computer and with absolute resistance I began to write the truth of my life. I was full of fear—afraid to reveal my authentic self and the vulnerability that came with doing it. I was also fearful that no one would give a hoot about my story.

My resistance to the process resulted in quite the crappy effort. Apparently my chief editor thought so too. She sent the article back to me with these words: “go deeper.” Not quite the response I was looking for.

So I went back to my computer, stared at a blank page for a while and began to write. But this time I didn’t write from a place of resistance, I wrote from the heart.

The result was tears, not just on my part, but my editor’s too.

But more important than the tears was the overwhelming sense of release. In reconnecting with my story I somehow gave it a voice. I gave myself a voice that needed to be heard.

I have continued to write my story and to pursue the practice of helping others do the same. Not only do I believe that telling our stories is an important way to get to know ourselves and find healing, I also believe it’s a way to connect with others on a deeply authentic level.

You need to tell your story and share it with the world!

Writing our personal stories is the most vulnerable kind of writing we can do. We fear being laughed at, rejected, or that our words will be met with silence. And in turn, we ourselves remain silent.

Through the process I have found six important steps to be helpful:

1. Tap into your emotions.

Your story won’t resonate with others if it is void of emotion, as I discovered when writing that first draft of my own story. So take out your paper and pen and write down some key feelings that you associate with your life so far. Then write something about each feeling and the story behind it.

2. List the turning points.

People often make the mistake of starting with their earliest childhood memory and moving through their story chronologically. But rather than starting at the beginning, it’s more helpful to make a list of your life’s key turning points—those times when you were standing at a crossroads and the direction you chose marked a significant change in your life.

3. Write everything down.

It might not seem like much at the time but it’s amazing how one memory leads to another and allows you to go deeper into your story. As with all writing, you may not use many of the scenes you write, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a purpose.

4. Use the senses.

The one thing that will help you explore long forgotten memories is to use your senses. As you recall events, try to remember the smells, tastes and sounds that accompany them. Not only will this help you remember details, it will also enrich your writing.

5. Find the theme.

Once you have compiled a large number of significant scenes, it’s likely you will begin to see a theme emerging. Your theme is the central question driving your story. The ability to carry this theme through the sequence of events you have recorded is what will turn your individual scenes into one story. It may be that you discover more than one theme. That’s okay; it’s likely there will be one that stands apart from the others.

6. Tell a story.

You have your theme and a multitude of scenes; you’ve gone through a box of tissues in the process of exploring your emotions, but have you told a story? As you begin to work on pulling it all together, focus on the reader. What about your story will connect with him? The best stories are ultimately those that connect with the reader the most.

This process of telling your story is, I believe, one of the most rewarding and clarifying things you can do for yourself, and for others.

So step into that place of discomfort and write the words that will bring freedom and meaning to your life. Is it not time?

Are you writing your story? Have you found the experience to be healing? Share your journey and process in the comments.

By Susan Cain

What’s your life story?

I don’t mean where you grew up, went to school, got your first job, etc. I mean what’s your STORY? What narrative have you constructed from the events of your life? And do you know that this is the single most important question you can ask yourself?

According to the fascinating field of “narrative psychology,” the stories we tell about ourselves are the key to our well-being. If you’ve interpreted the events of your life to mean that you’re unlucky or unwise, it’s hard to look optimistically at the future. Conversely, if you acknowledge that you’ve made mistakes and faced difficulties but seek (or have already glimpsed) redemption, you’ll feel a much greater sense of agency over your life.

That time you were laid off, for example, is it further proof that your career’s going nowhere? Or is it the best thing that ever happened, liberating you to find work that suits you better?

What about your divorce? Is it a sign you’re unlucky in love or a difficult passage to a more hopeful romance?

The idea is not to delude yourself that bad things are actually good. It is, instead, to find meaning in the progression from one event to the next. It is to recognize that everything constantly changes. In your life, you will move from triumph to heartbreak to boredom and back again, sometimes in the space of a single day. What are you to make of so many emotions, so many events?

The facts matter less than the narrative.

Once upon a time, an 18-year-old Frenchwoman named Sophie Serrano gave birth to a baby girl, who suffered from neonatal jaundice.

The baby spent her first days in an incubator under artificial light and was returned to her mother four days later. Unbeknownst to Sophie, it wasn’t her baby. It was another 4-day-old with jaundice. The nurse had switched the babies by accident.

Sophie named her daughter Manon. As she grew older, Manon looked nothing like her parents. She had darker skin and frizzy hair, and the neighbors started to gossip about her origins.

But Sophie never faltered. The nurse had explained that the artificial light used to treat jaundice could affect hair color. Even more, Sophie loved Manon. She knew the story of her life: her cries, her coos, her first words.

It was only when Sophie’s husband accused her of giving birth to another man’s baby that she went for paternity tests and discovered that her husband was right (sort of). The baby, then aged 10, wasn’t his, but she wasn’t Sophie’s either. She belonged to another set of parents, who had been raising Sophie’s biological daughter in a town several miles away.

It’s a typically fascinating “switched at birth” tale. But here’s where it takes an unexpected turn.

A meeting was arranged for the two mothers and their daughters. Sophie saw that her biological daughter looked just like her in a way that Manon did not and never would.

But she felt no connection to this other girl. It was Manon she had nursed, Manon whose nightmares she’d soothed, and Manon whose stories she knew. This other daughter looked just like Sophie—but what did that even mean, when she didn’t know her stories? The other mother felt the same way.

“It is not the blood that makes a family,” Ms. Serrano told The New York Times (where I read this story). “What makes a family is what we build together, what we tell each other.”

Our stories are everything. They are the heart of love and of meaning.

——–
So what is your story? Are you telling the right one? And are you telling it to the right people?

Here are three sets of people to tell your stories to:

1. “Declare yourself” to your colleagues at work. Doug Conant, the much-admired former CEO of Campbell Soup and founder of Conant Leadership (and one of my favorite people), is an introvert who’s not inclined to schmooze and self-disclose. So he scheduled “Declare Yourself” meetings, one at a time, with each of his direct reports. The purpose of these meetings was to tell his employees his story: how he liked to work, his management philosophy, and the things and people that mattered to him most. (We at Quiet Revolution are partnering with Conant Leadership to develop a “Declare Yourself” tool that you can use with your colleagues. Stay tuned on that.)

2. Share your stories with your family. A few weeks ago, I told my 7-year-old son about a story I’m writing for kids. I mentioned that I’d been working on this story for months. “How come you never told me before?” he wanted to know. He was genuinely shocked—maybe even a little hurt—that I’d kept the plot points to myself. “I guess I didn’t think you’d be interested,” I told him truthfully. He is obsessed with soccer and ice hockey, and mine is a story of girls, time travel, and shyness. But it bothered him that I had a story I’d chosen not to mention. From now on, I’ll err on the side of sharing the things I dream up even if they have nothing to do with soccer balls and hockey pucks.

3. Tell your story to yourself—and make sure you tell the right one. If you’re having trouble constructing an honest yet positive life narrative, here is an exercise to help you. Just ask yourself these three things:

  • Can you think of an early part of your life when you felt strong and happy? If you had a difficult childhood or other challenges that prevent you from identifying this starting place, try thinking of the time when you were still cradled in the womb.
  • What was the challenge, or series of challenges, that came along to threaten your strength and peace?
  • Can you find meaning in these challenges? You don’t need a classic happy ending as long as you’ve found meaning. And don’t worry if you’re not there yet. Just think of the outcome you’d like to see one day. And remember the words of mythologist Joseph Campbell: “Where you stumble is where your treasure lies.”

Want to share your story? I’d love to hear them!

These quick, one-time-only exercises can teach us about ourselves and what we want—and how we can tell our story. The bonus? You might just end up with a book.

By Leigh Newman

1. Your 3-Sentence Life Story

What to write: Try to summarize your life in two or three sentences. Take your time. Think about your past. “But mostly think about who you are today and how you got that way,” says Roberta Temes, PhD, psychologist and author of How to Write a Memoir in 30 Days. “Maybe you want to focus on a certain relationship, maybe a certain theme. or maybe a feeling that has persisted for years.”

Consider these examples before putting pen to paper:

Loving mom who worked all the time, no dad. Never really got over lonely childhood.

Love my life, love my dog, love my kids. No room for a guy.

Finally sober. Exhausting journey. Many regrets.

Beautiful, close family. And then the accident.

Fears and phobias finally overcome, thanks to husband. Still not sure if I deserve him.

Why it helps: First off, if you want to write a memoir, this three-sentence description will form the structure of your book. In effect, it’s a supershort story of your life—a beginning, a middle and the now, if you will. Even if you have zero impulse to write another word, however, the exercise can show you how you view yourself, your past and your present, all of which can inform your future. Unless, of course, you change the narrative—a privilege granted to any writer.

2. Your Crucial Incident (or Incidents)

What to write: Choose one or more of the sentences below and write a page or two that begins with that particular sentence. Don’t worry about bringing up material that you are afraid might be too painful to explore, says Temes. “Please don’t bother with grammar or spelling or punctuation issues. “Just write for yourself and for your clarity of mind.”

Sentence 1: I was just a kid, but.

Sentence 2: I tried my best and.

Sentence 3: In that moment everything changed.

Sentence 4: It was shocking to find out that.

Sentence 5: It was the proudest day of my life. I couldn’t stop smiling when.

Why it helps: Sometimes we avoid the most obvious—and complicated—events that have happened to us, events that inform our whole life story. Let’s say your three-sentence exercise was Loving mom who worked all the time, no dad. Never really got over lonely childhood. Maybe you could try, “I was just a kid but. ” or “I tried my best but. ” Was there something else that happened that prevented you from getting over your lonely childhood? Did it happen when you were a child—or later? Did it involve parents? You don’t have to know the answers to these questions. Let the pre-written prompts guide you. “Don’t think and write,” says Temes. “Just write.”

3) Your Secret Why

What to write: Take a minute to think about the previous two exercises. Then, please finish this sentence; I’d like to really understand everything that led me to _______________.

Here are some examples (it’s okay to add an additional sentence or two):

I’d like to really understand everything that led me to marry Blake. He was so wrong for me and I don’t want to make another mistake.

I’d like to really understand everything that led me to choose architecture as my life’s work. Did it have to do with the way we lived when I was growing up?

I’d like to really understand everything that led me to become such a good mom, considering I had no role model.

I’d like to really understand everything that led me to never get along with my step-mother. Now that she’s gone I realize what a good person she was and how she tried to have a relationship with me.

Why it helps: There’s no need to do the actual examination and investigation now. Instead, just focus on identifying what it is you might delve into someday—in a memoir or in the pages of a journal or just in your mind. What truth is important for you to get at? You have a structure (your three sentences), you have a crucial event (that may have caused or contributed to that life story) and now you have a purpose—a reason for writing that will let you learn, enjoy and even be surprised by the story you’ve been waiting to tell yourself and—maybe, just maybe, the world, as well.

Roberta Temes, PhD, is the author of
How to Write a Memoir in 30 Days, which includes other exercises like these.

The strength in storytelling

Posted November 27, 2012

One of the reasons I began blogging is because I had a story to tell, one I intended to live out loud, on a public stage, recording along the way the journey of how I had lost my mojo and how I would get it back. Making this one decision to tell my story transformed my life forever.

Since then, I’ve been telling my story while inviting other bloggers in the Owning Pink community to tell theirs and inviting readers to share their stories in the comments and on the Owning Pink forum.

I was also given the chance to tell my story when my friend Christine Bronstein, founder of A Band Of Wives, invited me to contribute to a book she was compiling called Nothing But The Truth So Help Me God, a book of personal revelations told by 51 women who hold nothing back. (You can read my review of the book here).

If you’ve been longing to tell your story, feeling like you’ve got a song in you that’s yet unsung, Christine and I have good news for you! Because Christine so believes in the healing power of telling your story and sharing it with the world, she has created an opportunity I’m so solidly behind that I agreed to help spread the word.

The My Story Project

If you’re interested in being one of the storytelling voices in Nothing But The Truth So Help Me God and having your story published alongside many other fearless women unapologetically telling their stories, I invite you to participate in My Story, a customized version of Nothing But the Truth So Help Me God: 51 Women Reveal the Power of Positive Female Connection, where you (or if you’re a guy, the women in your life) can go online at nothingbutthetruth.com and enter your own story (up to 2,000 words) and art, and your story will become the last chapter of a customized version of the book. (Woot! Check that off your bucket list. You’ll be a published author!)

The My Story project gives you an opportunity to flex your voice, have your story witnessed, see yourself in print, and create a book with your own story of positive female connection in a book with other awesome female authors.

Why?

Because telling your story—while being witnessed with loving attention by others who care—may be the most powerful medicine on earth. Each us is a constantly unfolding narrative, a hero in a novel no one else can write. And yet so many of us leave our stories untold, our songs unsung—and when this happens, we wind up feeling lonely, listless, out of touch with our life’s purpose, plagued with a chronic sense that something is out of alignment. We may even wind up feeling unworthy, unloved, or sick.

Every time you tell your story and someone else who cares bears witness to it, you turn off the body’s stress responses, flipping off toxic stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine and flipping on relaxation responses that release healing hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, nitric oxide, and endorphins. Not only does this turn on the body’s innate self-repair mechanisms and function as preventative medicine—or treatment if you’re sick. It also relaxes your nervous system and helps heal your mind of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, and feelings of disconnection.

You Are Not Alone

If I could sum up everything I’ve learned from over four years of blogging, it would boil down to one thing—you are not alone.

So many of us are tormented by the insane idea that we’re separate, disconnected beings suffering all by our little lonesome selves. I say this from experience. That’s exactly how I felt when I started blogging, as if I was the only one in the whole wide world who had lost her mojo and longed to get it back. Then I started telling my story—and voila! Millions of people showed to tell me they had lost their mojo too—or even more inspiring, that they had once lost theirs and since gotten it back.

How had they gotten their mojo back? By telling their story.

The Power of Storytelling

When we tell our stories and others bear witness, the notion that we are disconnected beings suffering alone dissolves under the weight of evidence that this whole concept is merely an illusion and that millions of others are suffering just like us. They say misery loves company, and it’s true! The minute you discover that someone else is suffering just like you—or even better, that they’re celebrating their wholeness just like you—that sense of disconnection eases and you start to glimpse the truth—that we are beings of vibrating energy, connected on the energy internet through processes like quantum entanglement, with overlapping consciousness that connects us to a divine Source and to the Inner Pilot Light of every being on this planet (and perhaps others.)

The Power of Vulnerability

In order to benefit fully from the healing medicine of telling your story, you must resist holding anything back. You must strip off your masks, be unapologetically you, ditch worrying about what “everybody” is going to think, and let your glorious freak flag fly. Otherwise, your story becomes a watered down, milk toast version of who you are.

As Brené Brown teaches in her TEDx talk The Power Of Vulnerability, the gateway to intimacy is via being vulnerable about your imperfections. If you try to sugar coat your story, you miss out on the sense of connection with another human being that you can only attain when you’re letting someone see your warts and your big ugly tail. Every time you expose those imperfections—and someone loves you in spite of—even because of—those imperfections, you gain trust (or as Brené calls it, you “put marbles in the jar”). Over time, the intimacy you feel with other people depends on how many marbles are in your jar.

You Ready To Tell Your Story?

We all have within us a story to tell, a song yet unsung. Is it time for you to tell your story? Click here to get started .

Or tell us your story here in the comments.

Where you stumble is where your treasure lies.

Posted May 11, 2011

When you look back at your life, do you assemble the events, and your reactions to them, into a cohesive narrative? Is it a cheerful tale, or a wistful one, or are you living an adventure story with hairpin plot twists and an unguessable ending?

At the Foley Center for the Study of Lives at Northwestern University, a psychologist named Dan McAdams studies the stories people tell about themselves. We all write our life stories as if we were novelists, McAdams believes, with beginnings, conflicts, turning points, and endings. And the way we characterize our past setbacks profoundly influences how satisfied we are with our current lives. Unhappy people tend to see setbacks as contaminants that ruined an otherwise good thing (“I was never the same after my wife left me”) while generative adults see them as blessings in disguise (“The divorce was the most painful thing that ever happened to me, but I’m so much happier with my new wife.”)

Those who live the most fully realized lives — giving back to their families, societies, and ultimately themselves — tend to find meaning in their obstacles. In a sense, McAdams has breathed new life into one of the great insights of Western mythology: that where we stumble is where our treasure lies. (The jewel lies between the dragon’s teeth, the golden key lays buried in the tangled thicket — that kind of thing.)

I’ve thought a lot about this idea in terms of my relationship to public speaking (which I’ve written about a lot, for example, in this post about the body’s Stop and Go systems, and my Year of Speaking Dangerously.) I would love to be the kind of person who assumes the spotlight without a second thought. I would love not to have endured the sleepless nights and abject horror that I’ve suffered too often in the days and hours before giving a talk. Yet I sense that there is meaning to be made from this shyness.

Where have you stumbled? Did you make something meaningful of it? If not, it might be worth revisiting.

Also, be sure to sign up for my newsletter. Get blog updates, plus a chance to win a half-hour coaching phone session with me. (Periodic drawings.)

For earlier posts on the Power of Introverts, please visit my website here.

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Why Tell Your Life Story?

Why tell your life story? There are many reasons. Telling your life story, the biography or autobiography of your life is something you should really do.

So, again, why tell your life story? I can think of two very important reasons .

First there is the need to find the real meaning life has for you. This journey we are all on is a varied one, for sure, but there are some similar things we are all going through.

Each of us, in our search for meaning in life, has a vast amount of experience to draw upon. Our struggles and hardship, along with our achievements and blessings, teach us life’s lessons. Your experience, your strength and the hope that endures are part of your unique story — and part of the reason why you should tell your life story.

The second primary reason to tell your life story is to leave your mark. This is what we call your legacy . We all want to be remembered. Certainly we want to be remembered for the good we’ve done and for the significant accomplishments in our lives. There is satisfaction in a life well-lived. Living a life fully. richly experiencing what it means to be alive and involved in helping others is a great thing. To share with others who you are, what you are about and what you believe in is passing on some very valuable personal history.

This story is of great value.

How to tell your life storyThe process of telling your life story will help you identify the core values and beliefs you hold. Sharing it will pass on valuable lessons to others.

The benefit of that should be apparent. Children, spouses, relatives, friends, coworkers, and even complete strangers all love to learn more about other people. We thirst for this knowledge. It helps us, because we find out that all people have a story to tell that can enrich our own lives. We revel in the triumphs. We grow in our struggles. Sharing our difficulties is part of why you tell your true life story.

What story will you tell?

The most common forms of life stories are biographies and autobiographies. A biography is your story as told by someone else. The autobiography means you are writing it. Both are records of life events, memories, thoughts and lessons learned. It is the experiences and observations of them that make each story unique.

This typically encompasses one’s entire life and is full of memories from childhood through later stages. It usually flows chronologically.

You can also write a memoir. Your memoir is a collection of values, recollections and stories about your life and may cover just certain aspects or times of your life or your entire life to date. However, memoirs are not as focused on a historical recap or your life chronology.

Instead of concentrating on your entire life, you might want to consider focusing on a particular period or event. Many military personnel desire to record their experiences, especially those who’ve served overseas or in conflicts. People who’ve been through the hardship of disease and addiction have found that experience to be tremendously profound, especially when they’ve recovered against incredible odds. They have a powerful testimony to share. Same goes for times of achievement in athletics, work or adventure.

The personal journey to faith in God can be especially rewarding to write and to share. Your spiritual or special life experience story is often a life changing event and can be the basis of a powerful personal history (see more about this option).

How you will tell your life story includes a choice of format and the decision of whether to involve others. Writing is a difficult challenge for many, although it is easier than feared. Most people don’t do it enough to get past those fears. Having some tools that will assist in writing your life story can be very helpful.

There is the process of journaling and various types of journals that can keep you going. Memory-inducing books and methods can also be of great help. There are even games you can play that will help you mine your past.

Once you’ve decided on what type of life story you are going to do the next step will be How you will tell it.

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Selling true life stories for adaptation as a Made-For-TV-Movie, Drama Series, Docuseries, or Reality TV Series.

Life is stranger than fiction, and often more entertaining. Many times we’ve seen the feature film, television movie, or even dramatic series based on a persons true life story. In television we’re familiar with the biographical made-for-tv-movies that virtually every network produces. These stories can span genres from an against-all-odds miracle story that takes place in a small town with otherwise regular folk as the hero, or an epic mini-series that brings new insight to a popular historical figure we all thought we knew. Any of these examples of dramatized life stories can be adaptations of best-selling biographies. But for the purposes of understanding this genre as it relates to selling a person’s life story to the Hollywood television industry, it is necessary to focus on the marketing of a persons life experiences/ profession/ or specific event that they believe would translate into an intriguing television project.

Before discussing the narrative aspect of adapting a person’s life story for sale, it is important to understand the legalities involved so that you can be sure you have the right to sell yours or another person’s life story rights.

If you are telling the story of your life, or a period in your life, you have the right to negotiate for sell your experiences as they are substantiated by your own record or common knowledge of others. If you are selling the life experiences of another person for adaptation as a film, you will need to have an “option” agreement with that person. In it’s most basic form, for the purposes of simply being able to find a buyer (producer or production company) an option agreement can be outlined in a simple deal memo. You should be given “Exclusive Right” to sell that person’s life story rights to any third party producer, company or distributor for the purposes of developing and producing a televised or theatrical production to be publicly aired and released. More specific details of partnership and participation should be resolved between yourself and the person whose life story rights you are selling before you ever approach any third party. You do not want to get a buyer interested and not be able to legally deliver the product you are pitching. If you would like more specific advice or information regarding industry standards for this issue or any other partnership agreements for selling a project, we recommend consulting an entertainment attorney.

So lets assume you are selling yours or a friends amazing life story to be optioned by a production company, and you are now piecing together a treatment or synopsis for presentation. There are three key elements that are very important to any development executive or producer considering your project; the story, the key character, and the commercial viability of the project:

Event or Story : There are always moments or dramatic events in our lives that are so incredible one could think “this should be a movie!”. However, one event does not make a dramatic story unto itself, and many times a dramatic story does not suit well for a televised or filmed adaptation. However, such specific events can become the focal point by which a larger dramatic story is told that a producer or network may take an interest in. How has that event changed someone’s life? What led to the event or events, and what new course were the people or persons involved set on? What is the point of social relevance within this story? What does the main character overcome or accomplish that brings redemption or irony to their life? As you will always see, it is never just about an event. It’s always about the person.

Identify the protagonist (Hero, or main character) from whose point of view the story is told. This is perhaps the most important choice when adapting a story to be dramatized. It may not always be the most obvious or centralized character when first looking at the story that is being covered, but it should be the most unique. And it is that person’s story arc that we will witness as the movie unfolds.

What makes a unique protagonist?: People love inspirational stories of the underdog who survives against all odds. It more often gives the viewer something to relate to and root for. It is an example of a choice in Protagonist that brings an emotional experience to the audience.

When exploring the development of a unique protagonist or main character in your story, there are some very important choices to make when illustrating this person within a screenplay, and more importantly, when giving limited information in a three to seven page treatment that you will submit to producers. If you look at all the great character-driven pieces you will see that what is explored in each protagonist is not just the obvious, but sometimes the opposite. In a hero, don’t just focus on the great qualities, but find his weaknesses and downfalls. This gives him a human quality. Conversely, in a main character who is primarily bad or of criminal persuasion, find his qualities that are good and explore his struggle within his poor choice making in life. This helps an audience care or sympathize with someone whose agenda may be clearly bad, but brings truth to the story by “humanizing it”. Nothing is black and white. To bring a three dimensional illustration to any main character of a story, one needs to approach that character with no assumptions and ready to discover all sides of the person and what makes them tick.

Commercial Viability: An important aspect of any dramatized story is that audiences love stories that are based on true events. The important thing for any writer or producer to understand in trying to sell a true life story for adaptation is knowing or discovering what issue or subject within the story has social relevance at this time. These “issues” of social relevance can be anything, eg. How a family copes with a son or daughter fighting a war, same sex couples fighting for adoption, or an athlete who overcomes certain death by cancer and survives to come back and win the most grueling athletic event in the world. All of these stories have issues that impact society heavily or in a unique way. If you believe that your personal story, or the story of a person whose life you are writing into a treatment for adaptation could have the same impact of relevance it is important to find that key issue and point of view that an audience will be enthralled by. The audience wants an emotional experience that they can relate to on some level. Find that message in your story and you may garner the attention of producers who want to develop it into a movie or series.

How to handle a firearm safely

Posted on 17th Sep 2018

The U.S. Department of the Interior announced “a new report by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that shows that 101.6 million Americans—40 percent of the U.S. population 16 years old and older—participated in wildlife-related activities in 2016, such as hunting, fishing, and wildlife-watching. The survey illustrates gains in wildlife watching—particularly around the home—and fishing, with moderate declines in the number of hunters nationally. The findings reflect a continued interest in engaging in the outdoors. These activities are drivers behind an economic powerhouse, where participants spent $156 billion—the most in the last 25 years, adjusted for inflation”.

With 101.6 million Americans getting ready for the Fall hunting season around the United States, it is important to implement firearm safety to avoid accidents and harm to self and others.

Here are the Ten Commandments of Firearm Safety:

  1. Watch muzzle
    Keep it pointed in a safe direction at all times. This is the PRIMARY rule of gun safety.
  2. Firearm respect
    Treat every firearm with the respect due a loaded gun. It might be loaded, even if you think it isn’t.
  3. Target awareness
    Know your target and what is in front of it and all around it. Check out your backstop. Don’t shoot at water, flat or hard surface.
  4. Trigger Guard
    Keep your finger outside the trigger guard until ready to shoot which will prevent an accidental discharge. When holding a gun, rest your finger alongside the frame and outside the trigger guard. Until you are actually ready to fire, do not touch the trigger.
  1. Check your barrel and ammunition
    Make sure the barrel and action are clear of obstructions, and carry only the proper ammunition for your firearm.
  2. Unload firearms
    Make sure to unload firearms when not in use. Leave actions open, and carry firearms in cases and unloaded to and from the shooting area. If you do not know how to open the action or inspect the chamber(s), leave the gun alone and get help from someone who does.
  1. Point only when shooting
    Point a firearm only at something you intend to shoot. Avoid any horseplay with a gun.
  2. Don’t jump, climb or run with a loaded firearm
    Unload a firearm before you climb a fence or tree, or jump a ditch. Pull a firearm toward you by the butt, not the muzzle.
  1. Store firearms and ammunition separately
    Store each in secured locations beyond the reach of children and careless adults.
  2. 10.No alcohol around shooting
    Avoid alcohol and mind-altering medicines or drugs before and during shooting.

Enjoy hunting and stay safe!

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How to handle a firearm safely

Recently firearm safety has been a topic of much discussion across the Internet, in part due to the recent press Remington received regarding people injured when a rifle discharged while pointed in an unsafe direction. When working with or around firearms, safety should be at the forefront of everyone’s mind.

Colonel Jeff Cooper first codified the “Four Rules of Firearm Safety” which are:

Rule 1 : All guns are always loaded. Rule 2: Never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy. Rule 3: Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on the target. Rule 4: Be sure of your target.

These rules have been amended and modified over the years, and the principle remains the same. Let’s go over them one by one and discuss what they mean and their importance.

Rule 1: All Guns Are Always Loaded

This is probably one of the most controversial rules, as it is obvious there are times when a firearm is not loaded. Some people have modified this rule to read, “Treat all guns as if they are loaded” or even “Always know the condition of your firearm.” However you choose to word it, the principle remains the same: Treat a firearm with the respect it deserves, assuming it is loaded until proven and verified otherwise. Furthermore, always respect others around you by acknowledging that they probably do not know whether a firearm is loaded or not.

Rule 2: Never Let the Muzzle Cover Anything You Are Not Willing to Destroy

Along with Rule 3, this is one of the most important rules. Abide by this rule, and even if you ignore the other rules, the chances of something getting injured, hurt, or destroyed are much diminished.

Almost every injury or death that has ever resulted from the accidental discharge of a firearm could have been avoided if the muzzle had been pointed in a safe direction.

How to handle a firearm safely

How to handle a firearm safely

What is a safe direction? Generally, a firearm muzzle should be pointed towards the ground, downrange or, at a minimum, away from where people are. Some say it is safe to point a muzzle towards the sky or ceiling, such as when carrying a slung rifle or shotgun and, in general, this is true.

Always remember that what goes up always comes back down and when a firearm is discharged into the air, it is possible someone could be killed or injured or property destroyed when the projectile lands.

Rule 3: Keep Your Finger off the Trigger Until Your Sights Are on the Target

This rule, along with Rule 2, is one of the most important rules of firearm safety.

Keep your finger off the trigger and out of the trigger guard. I’m going to repeat this once more: Keep your finger off the trigger and out of the trigger guard until you are ready to fire. Though the possibility exists, the chances of a firearm going off without the trigger being pulled are astronomically slim. The number one reason a firearm discharges is because the trigger was pulled. By following this one simple rule, you can virtually eliminate the chance your firearm will discharge when you did not intend it to.

Rule 4: Be Sure of Your Target

Many people modify this rule to read, “Be sure of your target and what is beyond it.” Why is this so important? It’s very important because you are responsible for every bullet fired by a gun you are in control of until that bullet comes to a stop.

Bullets do not always stop after they hit your target. You may be sure that your target is a deer; do you know what lies beyond the deer? Even if you land a solid hit on your target it is not only possible, it is likely, especially when hunting, that your bullet will continue down range for a considerable distance until gravity eventually pulls it down to earth.

If you are firing against an earthen berm or other backstop, you need to know it will reliably stop the rounds you fire into it. Know your firearm, know where it is aimed, know what your target is, and what lies beyond your target.

These are the four basic rules of firearm safety. This article covers basic firearm safety when working with or around firearms, and don’t forget other safety aspects such as safe and secure firearm storage.

It is your responsibility, as a gun owner, to handle firearms in a safe manner. You also need to keep your firearms stored safely and securely.

Have a safety tip? Share it in the comment section.

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Contents

  • Intro to Firearm Safety

About the Author

Avid outdoorsman who loves to spend his time fishing, hunting, and golfing or just about anything outdoors! If he can’t make it to the woods or water, chances are you can find him walking his dogs. Follow Alex P. as he tackles questions, and read his reviews of todays new products!

    Firearm Safety

Intro to Firearm Safety

Shooting and hunting can be extremely fun and is by far one of the safest sports you can become involved in because firearm safety is everyone’s responsibility. In this guide, we will go over the basic safety rules and best practices to ensure you have a fun and safe experience with firearms.

Whether you intend to participate or observe, you need eye and ear protection. You can usually borrow or rent them if needed, but investing in quality, comfortable eye and ear protection makes the overall experience much more enjoyable. The eye protection should be ballistic-rated, and the ear protection can be ear muffs or earplugs. However, the best ear protection for recreational shooting is electronic hearing protection since it still allows you to hear safe background noises, such as people talking or range commands, without difficulty.

The basic rules of firearm safety work best as a system. Even if you fail to follow one, the others should still prevent an accident. Starting from when you remove a firearm from a safe or case to when you’re putting it away, following these rules will keep you, and those around you, safe.

4 Rules of Firearm Safety:

Treat all guns as if they are loaded.

The only way to be 100% sure a firearm is unloaded is to check for yourself. Even after you have checked the chamber and magazine, no one else around you can tell if the gun is loaded or not. By treating the firearm as if it was loaded, you will inherently have more respect and intent for how you are handling the firearm.

Never let the muzzle point at anything that you are not willing to destroy.

Even when you know for a fact that a firearm is unloaded, it is still very uncomfortable to have one pointed at you. In the worst case scenario that a firearm is unknowingly loaded and is discharged, you avoid doing damage by ensuring that the firearm is pointed in a safe direction at all times.

Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on target and you have made the decision to shoot.

Flinches or reflexive squeezes can happen. By keeping your finger away from the trigger, you drastically reduce the chance of an accidental discharge. While mechanical safeties are highly recommended and should be used, they can always fail so do not count on them alone to prevent an accident from lazy habits. Be intentional with your finger placement and movement.

Be sure of your target and what is behind and around it.

You should always be able to clearly identify your target. Far too many accidents result from people shooting at a noise in the dark or what they thought was an animal in the woods. Similarly, whether you miss or if the bullet passes through the target, you can end up hitting things around or behind your target. You need to be able to clearly identify what is behind your target and what is within close proximity to it.

By wearing protective gear and following the 4 Rules of Gun Safety, you can have a fun and safe time hunting, range training, or during any other shooting activities.

Our West Coast correspondent, a longtime gun owner, breaks down the dos and don’ts of keeping a firearm in the house.

How to handle a firearm safely

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You did it. You just joined the ranks of the millions of Americans who own a gun. I’ve had years of experience handling firearms — as part of my work in the military and law enforcement, recreationally, and for home defense. For many people, however, the novel coronavirus has been the catalyst for purchasing a first weapon. I want to be clear: Buying a firearm isn’t the same as stockpiling toilet paper. And it’s a grave — potentially lethal — mistake to simply toss a powerful weapon under a mattress or prop it up in a garage.

Owning a gun introduces real risk. States with high rates of ownership experience significantly more accidental shootings , which often injure or kill children. Numerous studies show that access to firearms increases the odds of suicide. And a gun’s introduction into a home with domestic violence can have fatal consequences. (In fact, there are already reports of shootings with guns purchased during the coronavirus sales surge.) People who purchase firearms incur a share of responsibility to help mitigate these risks, and learning as much as you can about proper safety and the operation of your weapon is paramount.

Under ideal circumstances, you’d have time to research and contemplate your purchase. But we don’t live in ideal times — and now you’ve got a new gun in the house.

Handle your weapon with extreme care

  • Treat all guns as if they are loaded.
  • Never let the muzzle of the firearm point at anything you are not willing to destroy.
  • Don’t place your finger near the trigger until you are ready to fire.
  • Always identify your target — and what lies in front of and behind it.

No matter what type of gun you have or what scenario you find yourself in, these rules are your Bible. Your Old Testament of safety. They will never fail you — and can save you from accidents that unfortunately happen all too often .

Store your gun safely

If you lined up for a gun in response to the coronavirus crisis, you bought a weapon for self defense, and you want to be able to quickly access it in an emergency. But the reality is: You won’t have eyes on your weapon at all times. Research shows that in 70 to 90 percent of youth suicides, unintentional shootings , and mass shootings , the person pulling the trigger used weapons belonging to family or friends. Plus, unsafely stored guns can present an opportunity for thieves .

The good news is: You can have ready access to your weapon, while simultaneously placing a barrier between your gun and people who shouldn’t be touching it. Find a safe or a lock , and practice accessing your weapon.

Read the manual

Operating a gun isn’t as simple as plugging in a new television. Guns are not always the most intuitive. Firearms come in a variety of models, with different purposes. They also break down and malfunction in a plethora of ways. So, sit down and read the manual. Carefully. There are a ton of YouTube videos out there with instructions on how to use your gun, and also how to break it down. You probably have time on your hands these days, anyway.

Clean your weapon

Guns, unlike cars, are not sold ready to “roll off the lot.” If you bought your weapon new, you may notice a thick greasy coating . This grease is for packing purposes, and typically attracts dirt and muck, which is less than ideal for firing. It’s imperative that you remove this gunk, and keep your weapon clean for the foreseeable future. This job is infinitely easier with a cleaning kit .

Train with it

There’s a big difference between casually firing off some rounds with a new weapon, and actual training. I always extol the virtue of finding a solid, experienced firearm instructor and seeking their guidance. But training doesn’t stop there. Proper firearm manipulation — reloading, drawing, and clearing — are acts that are also crucial to firearm safety. Dry-fire practice can be an effective training supplement, allowing users to grasp these concepts in the comfort of one’s home, away from distractions and live fire. Such training can be done safely. Just make sure the gun is unloaded before handling it. And then check it again — just to be sure.

This brief beginner’s guide to proper gun handling will help you become more confident and effective with your chosen firearm in any circumstance.

Gun Handling for New Gun Owners

Using a gun isn’t really as simple as “point and shoot.”

In reality, how you handle a gun can affect how safe you are with a firearm, whether or not you’re ready for a hunting trip, and your overall accuracy.

To Load or Not to Load

Should your gun be loaded or unloaded?

A good general rule of thumb is that, unless you are about to use the weapon or you are conceal-carrying a pistol, your weapon should be unloaded at all times.

This prevents misfires and the types of accidents you read about on the internet, where some average joe assumes his gun is unloaded and accidentally shoots his toe off.

In fact, that leads us to another important point: always act like every gun is loaded, even if you are 100% sure that it’s not.

That’s because you can never be 100% sure that a firearm is totally unloaded, and practicing good firearm safety relies on this cornerstone.

Barrel Direction

In league with the above points, every responsible firearm owner will keep their barrel pointed at the ground at all times unless, again, they’re about to take a shot.

This goes for hunters, target shooters, and even people in self-defense situations. If you raise the barrel at your target, you must intend to shoot.

How to handle a firearm safely

Never swing your barrel around willy-nilly, even if you think the gun is unloaded. Remember, it may not be!

The ground is the ideal place to aim your gun since a bullet fired in the air can (although it’s unlikely) come down at an angle and injure or kill somebody far in the distance.

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How well do people know about gun safety? Every gun owner pretty much knows how to handle their firearm in a safe manner, yet the potential for danger cannot be ignored.

Gun Safety Practices To Prevent Gun-Related Accidents

Gun safety among all others has to follow strict rules to ensure no one gets hurt. Even when you’re around people who are knowledgeable and skilled in firearms, these rules are non-negotiable. Whether you’re hunting with a friend, in the firing range, or any place where a gun is doing work, the appropriate manner to deal with a gun still holds true. A little mistake can be deadly, and as soon as the bullet exits the muzzle, there’s no stopping it. It can mean yours, or someone else’s life if you’re not careful.

1. Always Assume The Gun Is Loaded

Make it a habit to check the chamber especially when you just held a gun. Do this when you take something out from your gun safe, or when another person hands you over his firearm. He might insist the gun is not loaded, but double check anyway just to be certain.

2. Gun Must Always Be Pointed In A Safe Direction

The muzzle of a gun should be pointed upwards or down at the ground. For whatever reason of accidental firing, nobody gets a direct hit within at least a radius of a mile. Your gun should only be pointed at a target you’re willing to shoot.

3. Finger Off The Trigger

I’m guilty of this mistake many times in the past. My finger was always rested lightly on the trigger every time I’m holding a handgun, which should not be the case unless you’re ready to shoot. Gladly, I quit the habit once and for all.

4. Don’t Rely Too Much On A Gun’s Safety Mechanism

Setting your gun into safe mode using its safety lever or locking mechanism doesn’t mean you could just point the gun at anyone. Treat it simply as an added safeguard. You’ll never know if this part of your firearm is faulty, so don’t put a hundred percent of your trust in it.

5. Be Familiar With Your Gun’s Mechanical Characteristics

Knowing how your gun works will also help reduce the risk of unwanted accidents. Like for example, you have a semi-automatic handgun and you took the magazine out. You have to know how to double check if there’s one more bullet in the chamber.

6. Make Sure To Use The Right Ammunition For Your Gun

There have been cases where a 9mm ammo is loaded into a .40 caliber magazine. It accepts the wrong ammo and even gets chambered inside the gun ready for firing. This mistake blows out the case which is not good for the gun, and certainly dangerous for the shooter.

7. Clear The Gun Barrel From Obstructions Before Shooting

Proper firearm maintenance is always necessary. Make it a point to always clear the barrel from any blockage before using your gun. This could cause the barrel to burst due to a spike in pressure.

Watch this short video about gun safety:

Learning how to shoot a gun is a very satisfying skill to learn for first timers. However, being able to pull the trigger and hit the target isn’t all that matters. The shooter must practice discipline to protect himself and others from unwanted circumstances. As long as you respect these simple rules, you’re ready to own a firearm.

What do you think of these gun safety tips? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Think you’re ready to own your first handgun? Take a look at these 36 best handguns you will ever need!

So you’re wandering around the street on a beautiful day and look down to see a pistol just laying there on the open ground. Sure, you know how to safely handle a handgun. You know to check a firearm to see if it’s loaded. But what do you do now?

Taking custody of a firearm when you do not know its origin is a potentially risky venture.

In all likelihood, there’s a good possibility someone just dropped his or her gun. Sometimes that’s because they use the wrong type of holster.

For whatever reason, if you find a firearm unattended, there’s a judgement call you need to make between taking custody of it and reporting it to police or simply reporting it to police and allowing them to collect it.

The latter option is ideal in any case where there’s little chance of someone else wandering by and picking it up.

A missing gun is important to keep track of because that’s a gun that — if left unattended — could wind up in the wrong hands.

So, for simplicity’s sake, we’ll go over the ‘ideal’ course of action and then we’ll talk about individual judgement calls that someone may have to make if he runs across an unattended gun out in public.

What You Should Do If You Find A Gun Left Unattended

Scenario: Firing Range

If you’re at a firing range and see a gun left unattended, contact a Range Safety Officer and have him or her take custody of that firearm until the owner comes back. While nobody should ever leave a gun unattended at a range, it could potentially happen.

Scenario: Out in public

If you are out in public and encounter a gun left unattended, call the police and inform them you discovered a firearm laying on the ground. Ideally, you want them to take custody of it. You don’t want your fingerprints touching it. You don’t want to move it.

It’s not because the gun will go off. It’s not because people will automatically assume you’re some crazed maniac. The reason is much more simple: you don’t know where the gun has been or what the previous user did with it.

The police will determine all of that.

Wait by the gun until police arrive and explain the circumstances under which you discovered it. In most cases, the police will ask you some questions and then take the gun into custody. It’s their problem now. If the owner left it unattended, he can get it back from them.

Scenario: Inside someone else’s home (or on someone else’s property)

If you see a gun left unattended inside someone else’s home or while on or about their property, just inform them that it’s there. Once they are made aware, it’s their problem. Again, don’t attempt to move the gun or touch it. While I personally think it’s silly to leave guns around a house in plain view and unattended, if it’s not my property and there’s no evident danger, that’s the owner’s responsibility.

Now that we’ve tackled the three places you’re most likely to encounter a gun — in very broad and general terms — let’s talk about less than ideal circumstances.

Scenario: You spot a gun laying on the ground in a place where there is a real chance of someone (i.e. kids) interacting with it OR see a gun laying in the open street where it can be repeatedly run over and hit by traffic.

For this example, we’ll use a public or municipal park during a weekend. People are out and about, running around with their families, and there are kids around. For whatever reason, you have to move it in a reasonable effort to prevent potential harm coming to anyone else.

Before you do anything, call the police. Inform them of the situation and seek their guidance prior to moving the firearm. This lets them know why you would be moving a gun that could potentially be evidence from the scene.

In that unique case, remember: treat every gun as if it is loaded.

Keep the barrel pointed in a safe direction at all times.

Keep your finger clear and off the trigger.

If you can use a handkerchief, cloth, or napkin to keep a barrier between the gun and your hand, that’s an added bonus.

Rack the slide to the rear. If a round was loaded, it will likely eject. Eject the magazine. Visually inspect the chamber to ensure no round is loaded and the barrel is always facing the ground. Keep the slide locked to the rear and magazine well clear. Do not attempt to put the gun into a bag or briefcase.

Remember: you are only moving this gun because it poses a clear and discernible risk to others if left unattended.

Move the unloaded gun to the nearest place that it is not in direct danger. Put it on the ground and wait for police to arrive. Follow their instructions once they arrive.

In conclusion, if you find a gun laying out in public, inform the police and let them handle it.

How to handle a firearm safely

How to handle a firearm safely

Gun safety and firearm control are controversial topics of discussion, but something that we can no longer look away from. The American culture of gun violence has spawned several incidents of shootings where one or several innocent victims have lost their lives.

It is highly debatable whether we need to impart gun education in schools. Since kids require parental consent and approval to sign up for such classes, many such education initiatives have run into roadblocks while being implemented.

Irresponsible use of guns has lead to a large number of deaths. In 2015, on an average rate, 37 Americans were killed by guns every day. On an average, a toddler shot someone about once a week and 19 toddlers have shot and killed themselves in 2015.

It is important that we keep our guns away, safe and secure, and protect our little ones from harming themselves or others. Here are a few reasons why benefits of controlled gun education may actually outweigh the cons.

Analyze Effectiveness of Education

Gun rights activists oppose gun safety education because the entire learning is based on the premise that a gun is something to be feared.

The National Rifle Association (NRA) – supported Eddie Eagle program teaches kids that if they spot a gun they should ‘Stop. Don’t Touch. Leave the Area. Tell an Adult’. These are the all-important four rules of gun safety. Kids in classes K-6 are taught that guns are best left alone and they should not try to handle them. But some experts are of the opinion that the more forbidden a firearm becomes, the more curious a child gets.

Marjorie Sanfilippo, a noted psychologist, is of the opinion that children are too young to understand the gravity of situation or consequences of their actions. A study jointly carried out by Marjorie and ABC found that despite education children picked up guns, peered down barrel and played with them. So the best thing to do would be to place firearms out of reach of children.

The Center to Prevent Handgun Violence offers STAR (Straight Talk About Risks) program to K- 12 schoolchildren teaching them about anger management, conflict resolution and the damaging effects of using firearms to resolve conflicts. The point being raised against STAR is that it teaches kids that gun ownership is bad.

Do Not Instill Fear in Kids

Many safety education programs want to make children wary and cautious around firearms. But this may not be the right approach.

Fear makes children anxious, worried and unsure around a gun. When young children are scared they tend to make mistakes. They might try to wrongly handle the gun or try to get it away, leading to mishaps. Also, one third of Americans own guns and many children grow up in homes that have firearms. So it is better if they develop a stable relationship with their tools rather than learn to be scared.

In states with higher gun ownership rates it is necessary that children develop a healthy outlook regarding guns. It is the parents’ duty to help children realize the responsibility that comes with possessing a gun. They should be taught to respect, care for and use their firearms responsibly. And the best way to do this is by parents setting a good example for their little ones.

Teach Your Kids Well

The more mysterious and off-limits a gun is, the more tempting it will be for children, especially boys.

Some schools in Colorado have allowed NRA to impart gun training to middle school kids. It is mainly aimed at giving children an idea about how to deal with firearms, if they ever come across one. Safety is given topmost priority in the training program and children are taught to check whether the chamber and magazine are empty. They are also taught to always point the gun down and in a safe direction, among various other safe handling skills. Kids should absolutely be taught to employ these same safety measures even if they are handling a “bee bee”, paintball gun, or perhaps even an airsoft gun of some kind. This is growing in popularity among our nation’s youth – kids should treat these with the same respect, care, and attention to safety that they would in handling an actual firearm. If you are dealing with paintball accessories and equipment, or airsoft accessories, safety measures are still critical!

Many parents want gun safety to be left to their discretion, just like religion. If you want to teach your kids gun use, then it will be best if you do not rely on the school alone. Get your child a BB gun that will help him or her pick up the right safety habits. Take the child along on short hunting trips so that he watches and learns from you. It is important that your child learns to respect his guns and the game that is hunted. He should be taught to care for the meat and not let anything go to waste. As your child watches you practice excellent safety habits, not waste any part of the hunted animal and treat tools with respect your child will also learn the same.

Be Involved in Your Children’s Learning

Children, especially those in higher grades and middle school, need to be taught conflict management through peaceful means and they should know the untold suffering and pain that a single wrong shot can inflict.

Be involved in your child’s life, both at school as well as outside. Know about friends he enjoys spending time with. Video game violence, bullying and a glamorized gun culture are all equally responsible for driving our kids towards wrong use of firearms.

If you feel that your child is troubled or under stress, talk to him about it and provide whatever support you can. Speak to teachers and to school authorities if you feel that there are serious issues or problems among students. Keep a close eye on the personality of your child to spot any changes.

Little children should know that firearms are not toys and they should not touch them. Your best bet is to keep guns under lock and key, far out of reach of your kids.

Conclusion

Gun culture is an integral part of the revolutionary history of our great nation. If we teach our kids responsible use of and respect towards guns, and keep firearms far out of reach of toddlers and small children, there would not be unfortunate gun-related deaths anymore.

How to overcome a fear of fire alarms

How to overcome a fear of fire alarms

Pyrophobia is quite a common phobia and many people around the globe are known to be deeply afraid of fire. The word Pyrophobia originates from Greek ‘pur/pyr’ meaning fire and ‘phobos’ meaning fear or deep dread. To an extent, the fear of fire is healthy, evolutionary and normal. However, in case of a phobic, the fear turns debilitating, often affecting his/her daily life wherein one is unable to withstand even small or controlled fires.

How to overcome a fear of fire alarms

To a Pyrophobic individual, the mere smell of smoke or something burning can trigger an intense anxiety attack. This causes him/her to constantly check the stove/gas leading to obsessive compulsive personality disorders.

Causes of fear of fire phobia

It is easy to understand where the fear of fire originates from.

Since ancient times, mankind has depended on fire but has also been burnt by it. Fire can cook food but it is known to cause large scale destruction. Since childhood, we are warned by parents and caregivers to stay away from fire.

House fires, though rare today, can still cause massive destruction to life and property. Man has been able to control them to an extent, by using sophisticated fire alarms and smoke detectors. But despite these things, dangerous blazes do occur even in the most advanced countries from time to time.

One such negative or traumatic experience with fire in the past (direct or indirect) is the most likely cause of Pyrophobia. Some phobics do not even remember how their fear originated in the first place. Psychoanalysis or hypnotherapy is required in such cases to delve deep into the phobic’s mind and establish the root cause of the phobia.

Symptoms of Pyrophobia

Like all other phobias, Pyrophobia is also characterized by anxiety and panic attacks when the individual is faced with a situation involving fire. S/he tends to have an extremely negative outlook towards all events that are likely to trigger fire hazards.

Physically and psychologically, the following symptoms might be present:

  • Dry mouth, difficulty in swallowing, trembling, palpitations and shaking in the vicinity of fires.
  • Some individuals cannot even stand small fires like birthday candles, fireworks etc.
  • Thoughts of death or dying, feeling like choking.
  • Going to abnormal lengths to prevent dangers from fires: Checking and rechecking several times a day to ensure the gas/stove is off, keeping an escape route ready in event fire does occur or spending huge amounts of money on fire extinguishers, smoke alarms etc are some examples of such behavior.
  • Those with extreme levels of Pyrophobia experience a full blown panic attack at the sight, smell, or thought of fire: running away, fainting, screaming, feeling nauseated etc.

Such emotional turmoil caused by the phobia can deeply affect one’s normal functioning.

Overcoming and treating Pyrophobia

The first step in treating fear of fire phobia is to diagnose it. Often, the phobic is able to assess if his/her symptoms are affecting the normal ability to function. If this is the case, s/he should not hesitate in approaching a primary health care provider to discuss further treatment. When the phobia symptoms are extreme, medication must be taken to counter the anxiety symptoms.

Additionally, one must also utilize a few self help techniques to overcome the fear of fires phobia. Gradual desensitization or exposure therapy can be done with the help of family and friends or even a professional therapist. This involves looking at pictures of fires, thinking of fire and gradually progressing to being in the presence of small or controlled fire. An exposure of this sort can help the Pyrophobic control the anxiety response to fires.

The purpose of all these therapies is to get to the root cause of one’s Pyrophobia in order to help the individual regain confidence and etch out negative memories once and for all.

Comments

I just don’t do well with lighting matches but I can be in the presence of controlled fires and smoke doesn’t make me anxious.

I can handle candles, but say a fireplace/campfire, I have to watch it or I’ll freak out. And, who other pyrophobics stay up late at night because you’re scared a fire will burn down your house? I live in an old house and some of the outlets spark. I only have one three pronged plug, and only 6 out of 18 outlets don’t spark. I hate our heat source. It’s the type with fire and I get worried with it. Do I sound crazy?

I have pyrophobia and now it’s getting worse. I was able to conquer the fear and getting close to fire, like cooking on campfire. But I got burned real bad on both my feet 2 months ago because of the forest fire in my hometown. I was stepping on the ground without knowing there was fire burning under. The ground collapsed and both my feet stuck down the fiery embers, got 2nd degree burns. I’m still in my recovery and still can’t walk properly. Now every time I see fire my body is trembling so hard, having a hard time to breathe, and my body goes limp. Now I prefer to buy food instead of cooking it myself.

Mranda lambert says

Hope you feel better

Mrs. Willis says

Jesus can help you with your fear. My grandmother died in an apartment fire when I was a kid and I developed pyrophobia. I was constantly rechecking the stove to make sure it was off, I hated lit candles, I was afraid of heaters and everything. When I gave my life to Jesus Christ, my fear of fire slowly went away. Imagine burning for eternity because of our sins, now that is scary. Faith in Jesus’ death on the cross, His bodily burial and His bodily resurrection saves us from Hell fire. Jesus died for our sins! Hallelujah. You have nothing to fear if your faith is in Jesus!

I live in the Balearic Islands, and we have a lot of holidays based on Saints and the Devil, and there are A LOT of festivals where 200 people dressed as frightening devils and demons run and dance with torches, light up bonfires and scare people with firecrackers and sticks that are on fire. You can google images of it if you search “Correfoc” or “dimonis Mallorca”. In fact there are a lot of traditions involving fire around here. I’m actually only scared of those rituals and people “threatening” me with fire, although I know it is only a show. I can handle other fires pretty well.

I have a fear of fire not pyrophobia. I can stand candles, stoves, and even campfires but Im generally stressed out about large fires. Especially fires for the purpose of entertainment.

Sarah Barker says

I have a phobia of burnt food and raw meat and claustrophobia

Brandon Keele says

yep same im doing a report on this heheheheh 🙂

By Mary Beth Collins

Making a Routine Safety Procedure (that is anything but routine) Successful

During my school years as a student, fire drills were a welcomed break from the daily routine. The surprise of the loud, unexpected noise would make us gasp, jump out of our seats, and giggle. We’d shuffle down the halls toward the exit doors, without incident. Wedd wait at our assigned location in the schoolyard, and enjoy the freedom of being outside and breathing the fresh air until the “all clear” bell sounded.

For most students, the high-pitched intermittent blast of the fire alarm is simply a minor, temporary irritant. But it is anything but “simple” to stu-dents who struggle with challenges like auditory sensitivity, schedule rigidity and/or anxiety, for whom this routine school safety procedure can become a complicated and, oftentimes, painful ordeal.

Auditory over-responsiveness, a subtype of Sensory Processing Disor-der (SPD), presents itself as atypical sensitivity to certain sound frequencies or volume, as well as difficulty hearing auditory details, like a teacher shouting instructions while the fire alarm is sounding off. Even without the SPD diagnosis, many children with an Au-tism Spectrum Disorder have an over-responsive, or over-sensitive, reaction to loud and unexpected noise. There’s a host of ways these children may re-spond to a fire alarm: Matthew covers his ears and hides under his desk in the fetal position. Beth cries while rocking in her chair. James screams and then bolts toward the door, pushing and hurting several people in his path. Although these are typical self-protective and self-regulating behav-iors, students can endanger themselves or the rest of the class.

Challenges with fire drills can esca-late over time if left unattended. Once children experience the pain and fright of their first surprise fire drill, it is likely that they will develop anxieties resulting from an inability to predict when the next fire drill will take place. The ongoing fear of an impending fire drill can challenge a student’s attentiveness in class, as his/her mind is focused on the next drill rather than the lesson being taught, or the strategies needed to maintain appropriate behaviors in the class-room. When the next fire drill takes place, it could very well be that a tan-trum is the explosion of the mount-ing stress.

An Effective Drill Prepares Everyone for a Real Occurrence

Can your child manage – or be managed – to stay safe in a true emergency? Without effective prepa-ration, a student with autism could suffer injury or death due to elope-ment or tantrums in the middle of a true fire evacuation. Sensory and rigidity issues can make a fire alarm process challenging and stressful, but can make a real event tragic. Realiz-ing the ultimate importance of a fire drill, father Derik has continued working with his child: “It is true that many autistic children have sen-sory issues that may be difficult to cope with. However, we have always favored a desensitizing approach in dealing with them with near perfect results. One catch… it takes time. In fact, time consistency can over-come almost anything.”

Outbursts Sometimes Result in Academic Disciplinary Measures or Litigation

It is unfortunate to see a child struggling with auditory distress, anxiety or a disrupted routine. But when that response includes a tantrum or blatant aggression, the school must balance protection of the student with protection of the student body. Sometimes behavior will result in detention, suspension, or at times a call to police.

A recent Wrightslaw article, “When Schools Have Children Arrested for School-Related Behavior Problems,” evidences that police involvement is commonplace. Peter Wright, Esq., explains that the best thing that can be done is to use the outburst and result-ing disciplinary action to bring the fo-cus back to the quality of the IEP or 504, and improve it in the best interests of the student. “When a child with a disability is arrested for school-related behavior, this is an excellent opportunity to use the power of the juvenile court to force the school district to implement a good plan for the child – and have the Court monitor the school’s progress.”

Educators who have struggled with these challenges agree. “In order to be proactive, an IEP objective providing support during emergencies (i.e. fire alarms) is always in the best interest of the child,” says Kathleen Herron, NBCT, ECG, a teacher in Fairfax County Public Schools. “This kind of objective ensures one-on-one support as this child learns the best way to handle himself during an emergency.”

Sally Fite Stanfield, an education attorney, encourages IEP teams to develop an effective safety plan that includes goals and supple-mentary aids and services. “The IEP team must consider, among many fac-tors, the student’s cognitive ability, sensory needs, mobility, independence and ability to manage emotions and behaviors in a less structured situation when time is a factor. At least as often as we review the IEP, the safety plan can and should be revised as need be.”

Building Bridges for Autism’s Dawn Yeselavage, M.Ed., suggests:

1) Make sure your child’s teacher knows exactly when each fire drill will occur during the school year. Ask for the schedule.

2) Have your child’s teacher go over the fire drill rules with your child so he knows what is expected. A social story can be written to explain fire drill pro-cedures to your child.

3) The day of the fire drill, make sure the rules are discussed, practice exactly what is expected, and model for the children. Have a “pretend” fire drill for the entire class. When writing the “rules,” you can write them out in a task analysis form with pictures.

4) If the child is extremely afraid of the fire drill, have the child go outside before the alarm goes off. The child can watch the other children come out of the building and see what the process is for the school building.

5) Each month, gradually increase your expectations. For the second fire drill, have the child stand by the door to go outside with headphones on his ears. Once the alarm goes off, the child can immediately exit the building. (Make sure you are discussing the fire drill on a weekly basis and role play/model if needed.)

6) The next month, the child can stand by the door to go outside with-out his headphones on his head.

7) Each month the child can stand a bit further from the door in hopes of getting him to the classroom and walk-ing out with his classmates.

Lindsey Biel, MA OTR/L and co-author of Raising a Sensory Smart Child adds these two important options: noise reducing earplugs or headphones and reducing the sound of the alarm itself with egg crate foam or, if possi-ble, simply lowering the volume.

Desensitizing the child or get-ting him used to the sound of a fire alarm can help reduce anxiety. School-Eaze is a CD that combines sounds that may be scary to kids, with rhythmic songs, lulling kids to a calm state with a song that ex-plains the sound and then intro-duces them to it. The CD includes the sound of a school bell, chang-ing classes, cafeteria, and fire drills.

Weighted vests are also good tools to have on hand, as the deep pressure they offer is very calming to the nervous system. Alternatively, the child can wear his backpack (with books in it) for some of that deep pressure.

Ida Zelaya, CHC, President of Sensory Street™ , contributed to this article.

In both residential and commercial settings, smoke detectors have been found to be a cheap, convenient, and effective way to protect occupants and property from the possible risks of fires. However, this is only possible if they are properly functioning. Nonetheless, issues such as a smoke alarm that goes off untriggered are not uncommon. In most such cases, the unit is just too sensitive. When it keeps raising false alarms, all you want is either to completely get rid of it or better fix them fast . But before you ditch it or consider replacing it, there are some things you can do to rectify the problem.

Here are some home safety tips to easily fix a smoke detector that is too sensitive:

1. Relocation

It may be because the smoke detector was installed in the wrong place. Placement matters a lot, especially when it comes to a smoke detector. Cooking vapors and other kitchen-related smokes can trigger a false smoke alarm. You may, therefore, need to move it away from the kitchen or the bathroom. However, you’ll need to first tape it using duct tape before making some new holes in your walls or ceiling. This way you’ll get to know how it performs in the new location. If you are happy with the results, go ahead and make it permanent. This may be just a couple of feet away from the kitchen or the bathroom.

2. Make Use of the Mute Button

Most smoke detectors come with an inbuilt mute option that is operated using a remote controller. This will give you about 10-15 minutes before the smoke detector goes off again. This is only a temporary solution before deciding on a more permanent solution. If your smoke detector is connected to your home alarm system, you can use the alarm code, the “hush” or “silence” features to silence the loud siren.

3. Clean It

Even the cleanest of homes have dust, this is not to downplay your cleaning efforts. Accumulated dust particles could be the reason your smoke detector is too sensitive. It will cost you nothing except a bit of energy to wipe off the dust from the smoke detector. However, you may need to revisit the manufacturer’s instructions concerning cleaning. Also, too much of smoke can leave residues inside the smoke detector unit, making it too sensitive or even less sensitive. So, either way, cleaning does help .

4. Seek Professional Help

Depending on who sold or installed the smoke detector alarm, smoke detector maintenance and repair services are always available. The best and safest way to restore proper functioning of your smoke detector is to seek professional help. Sometimes, you’ll only need to give your manufacturer or service provider a call and they’ll guide you through the troubleshooting process. At times, you’ll need to spend some bucks to get your fire alarm system back up and running.

You may also need anxiety and depression counseling because alarms trigger your brain to react in a certain way. Over time, this can cause your anxiety levels go higher every time you hear a fire or smoke alarm. While there is yet a name befitting the fear of smoke alarms, it’s important to know how to overcome these fears. But the best thing to do is fix the root problem, the smoke detector.

My grandson is sensitive to loud noises, a couple of weeks ago there was a fire alarm at his preschool and he literally fell apart. He doesn’t want to go back, pleading, tears, saddest little guy I’ve ever seen. He won’t even go out of his house because of his fear of the alarms. We’ve taken him to school and forced him to stay, it goes well after the initial breakdown, but still so hard on him. His mom, dad, teachers, friends and I have talked and talked about the alarm to no avail. Any ideas on how to ease his fears?

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First of all, thank you so much for your input! I am sending your replies to his mom and dad. There is some very good advice here. Thank you again. I’ll let you all know what happens next.

Unfortunately, the alarm went off by accident, there was no planned drill. I’m sure in the future the teacher will make sure he is prepared. He did ok on Friday, fought his tears and worked hard at being brave. Thanks again for all the advice.

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sometimes although fears manifest themselves in other aspects of our lives such as for example, your grandson fearing firing alarms, there could be something more to it.. that sound might trigger something deeper.. Can you find a place that is very calming for him and see IF when he is in that calmer state if he will open up to you.. just ask simple questions and see if he can try and talk about how he feels. DON’T make it just about the fire alarm, but see if he expresses other feelings around it.. the fire alarm may simply be the trigger to something bigger or not. he’s young and therefore cannot express in depth why the alarm evokes such emotion in him. Truly, it may not be the alarm. I truly think the alarm is only a symptom. Could be that your grandson having heard that alarm equates being left at school with that sound. I mean the subconscious mind tries to make sense of our every day life even if it means being irrational. like >> alarm = being left= feeling vulnerable = ANXIETY and once anxiety kicks in. it’s hard for a little one to know how to handle it.. in a way it’s good that he cries in that he is releasing some of that anxiety physically and emotionally..
I would see this less as the alarm but more about anxiety. which many small children do experience when first entering preschool..

Hello everyone. Has anyone’s child had a fear of the vents or smoke detectors? Ever since our HOA installed smoke det. in ALL rooms in our home, including my 2.5 yr old son’s, he has been deathly afraid of them. He constantly talks about them during the daylight hours and doesn’t want to sleep in his room or even mine & my husband’s. When he does finally fall asleep (in his room) he wakes up sceaming, I imagine either from fear of being alone or from bad dreams. I’ve also noticed an increasingly agressive behavior with other children at play groups and parks. Could this mean he’s not getting sufficient sleep? Any advise on how to handle this? THANKS!

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Hi, I know this was posted years ago, but I was wondering if you ever figured out a way to help him with this fear. My 2.5 year old is scared of the smoke detectors in our apt. This happened out of no where and nothing provoked it. One day she was just scared of them. She won’t sleep in her room. She has to sleep with me. If I put her in her bed after she’s asleep she’ll wake up SCREAMING, and I mean SCREAMING, in the middle of the night. My husband and I have no idea how to handle this. We have explained to her that it’s helpful and gone through any kind of explanation we could to help her understand smoke detectors are not scary things! She’s a smart girl! I mean, she’s starting to sound out words and everything. I just don’t understand where this fear is coming from. Any help would be appreciated.

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He’s probably fearing a fire in your house. the smoke detectors have made it a real possibility to him. Get some books from the library about firefighters and fire safety. October is fire safety month so look for local events. Maybe even see if you can get a tour of the fire station. Educating him about what to do will give him some power over the situation and hopefully make him less fearful.

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Hi K.:
I think your toddler was frightened,when they installed the smoke detectors. They are a new addition to his enviroment. I’m sure they had to be tested, before they left. He probably is a bit frightened, by the fact that these new things added to his room and yours, make this gosh awful sound,and its scary.If hes like most little boys,he probably loves fire-engines. Maybe it would be worth it, to take him to see the fire-engines,and let the firemen explain what they are,and that they will only make a loud noise,to warn him and his parents if there were ever smoke from a fire.I wish you and your growing boy the best.

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Hi K., I can’t imangine anything in a smoke detectors that would cause a child to be scared of them, I have a smoke dettector and a carbonmanoxised detector in my daycare room, and the kids are all different ages and none of them are afraid of them, The only thing i can think of, was strangers came into the home and put those in, maybe that is why they are afraid of them. I would hold them up let them touch it so they see it is safe. J. L.

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Never seen that one. but, my son recently became afraid of the dark. He will not walk into a room without a night light, otherwise he wants me to carry him. So, we went to my favorite place and I let him pick out night lights for the house. Then we went and plugged them in all over the place where he was afraid, and now he’s all over the house AGAIN!

I like the suggestion of letting your son pick out stickers or things that make the detectors less intimidating. Our local Fire Stations do tours all the time for the local schools, see if you can get a play group together to go to one and ask them to talk about fire detectors. If they tested it before they left and he heard it, he may afraid it’s going to make the noise all by itself for no reason. Those things even scare me when they go off, but I guess that’s the point right?

The sleep thing could definitely be a factor in his behavior. My little dude, gets super cranky with others when he hasn’t gotten a good nights rest and isn’t a pleasure to be around.

Did any other changes happen around the same time, that he might associate with the change in his room? When my son started his visitation with his Dad, he refused to go in my room whilst home with Grandma. her friend suggested it was because I was the hand-off person and this new change disrupted his routine and hense the aversion to Mommy’s room. Never would have put that together, but I made extra efforts to make the hand-off happy and smooth, and now he’s over ‘mommy’s room being bad’.

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Let me preface this by saying that I have no experience with this, but just thought of a few ideas for you!

What about letting your son pick out some of his favorie stickers and let him place them on the wall/ceiling AROUND the smoke detector? (not ON TOP of it of course, because it could interfere with the smoke detector’s function) Or pictures of Sponge Bob or whoever he’s into? Or maybe you could hang a mobile or toy airplane or something else in his room to distract him from looking at it?

On vents you could let him attach a pinwheel to the front of them so that when air comes out it spins? Or some colorful small ribbons?

And yes, my son gets a bit more aggressive when he isn’t sleeping well. Usually doesn’t last more than two days and once he gets a good night’s sleep he’s back to normal!

Let us all know how you solved it. Good luck!

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Many of us know that individuals with autism have particular problems with fire drills for a variety of reasons–the noise, the lights, the change in schedule, the crowded halls…and the list goes on. Over time I’ve worked with a lot of students who fear fire drills, some to the point where they live in fear that one will occur. There are a variety of strategies for dealing with the difficulties with fire drills for these students (and I will list some of those resources at the end). However, what I really want to focus this post on is one solution that many people use–warning the classroom ahead of time that there is going to be a fire drill. NOOOOOO!

Does that give you an idea of how strongly I feel about this practice?? Yeah, I really don’t like it. And here’s why. Warning the classroom (even just the teacher) that there will be a fire drill may make things easier today during the drill. However, they don’t fulfill the need of a fire drill–which is getting students out of the building when there is a fire–when there will be no warning. If you know every time there is a fire drill, you are prepared and you won’t be prepared if and when there is a real need to leave the building quickly.

What Can We Do Instead?

So, being a good behavior analyst–if I take one behavior or option away, I need to replace it with something. What can you do about fire drills? Prepare students for them by practicing them more frequently. Here are a couple of ideas.

  1. For the student upset by the sound of the alarm, record the sound of the fire alarm when it goes off. Then present it to the student with the volume reduced and with some reinforcing activities. Slowly increase the volume during positive activities so that the student becomes desensitized to the sounds. If your fire alarm has lights, videotape it and use that instead of an audio recording.
  2. Practice the fire alarm procedures when the halls are clear (when there isn’t an active drill). Play the recording of the fire alarm and have the students line up and exit the building. Reinforce their behaviors of exiting quickly and without problem behavior.
  3. Use social stories to remind students of appropriate behaviors. Positively Autism just featured a free one that you can download and use on the daily autism freebie site.
  4. And finally, Fearless Fire Drills has created a whole program and kit for teaching about fire drills. It was developed by a great group of educators in Mountain Brook, AL that I have had the opportunity to work with. They saw a need, created the program and are piloting it now.

Fire Alarm Systems Training is a program to produce competent and qualified individuals. It is our belief that properly trained and knowledgeable fire alarm system designers and technicians will reduce the losses due to fire or false alarms and improve the quality of life in their community.

Cape Fear Community College offers our Fire Alarm Systems Training courses online and allows anyone with an internet connection to take the course. You are not required to have US citizenship, but the course is taught only in English. The National Institute for Certification in Engineering Technologies or NICET “is a non-profit organization created by the National Society of Professional Engineers to serve the certification needs of the engineering technology community.” Fire Alarm Systems Training endorses and encourages NICET certification.

Apprenticeship Program

Cape Fear Community College has created a Federally recognized Fire Alarm Apprenticeship Program and is seeking companies to participate. The apprenticeship is open to companies nationwide and will encourage NICET certification. Interested companies may return the completed Employer Agreement to [email protected] .

Scholarships

The Cape Fear Community College Foundation has established a scholarship for our Alarms 101 and Alarms 102 courses, and also NICET exam reimbursement. The John E. Lucas Memorial Scholarship Fund will enhance the quality of life in our community by cultivating Life Safety (Fire Alarm) Engineering Technicians and promoting industry certification by the National Institute for Certification in Engineering Technologies (NICET). Cape Fear Community College scholarships come in the form of a reimbursement of expenses for continuing education courses. CFCC does not award scholarship funds prior to enrollment or payment of tuition for a course.

If selected, you will receive the scholarship funds upon meeting the eligibility requirements and providing this application along with proof of participation in the exam. Download the form below and return to [email protected] . Scholarships are limited and awarded on a first-come basis.

Courses

Students will also acquire a basic understanding of the physics involved in the chemical reaction and the by-products of fire. Students will learn basic electrical workmanship and installation methods of fire alarm equipment and devices. The student will gain an understanding of the requirements of codes and standards that govern fire alarm systems and installations. (14.4 CEU’s awarded)

Students will become familiar with NFPA 72, the National Fire Alarm and Signaling Code, and NFPA 70, the National Electric Code (NEC). These references are consistent with NICET’s allowable references for Level I and II Fire Alarm Systems exam(s).

Spring: January – April | Summer: May-August | Fall: September – December

Students will become familiar with NFPA 72, the National Fire Alarm and Signaling Code, NFPA 70, the National Electric Code (NEC), NFPA 101, the Life Safety Code, and the International Building (IBC). These references are consistent with NICET’s allowable references for Level III and IV Fire Alarm Systems exam(s).

Spring: January – April | Summer: May-August | Fall: September – December

Job & Industry

The mean hourly wage, as of May 2019, for fire alarm systems technicians is $24.14.

For additional employment statistics for this industry, visit bls.gov .

Related Information

Curriculum
  • Evaluates the students understanding of the lesson topic.
  • Comments supported by codes, standards and references
  • Develop the skills of supporting position when dealing with AHJ’s, clients and peers.

Lesson

  • Available online through Distance Learning
  • Course will last 4 months
  • 48 lessons, 3 per week (approximately 1 hour each)

Pre-Test

  • 5 questions, 5 minutes
  • Identifies areas of focus
  • Allowed to take twice (Exam review)
  • Non-Graded

Progress Survey

  • 10 questions, 10 minutes
  • Measures progress
  • Graded
Donations
  • Solicit companies and organizations to support FAST with equipment for labs
  • Placard will be affixed to equipment to recognize donation
  • Logo on flyers and promotional materials
  • 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Status: Donor determines value.

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

In This Article

Men are not the only ones who can be abusive in a relationship.

As shocking as it might be, women can be abusive too.

Also, due to the general lack of awareness when it comes to the abuse men face, they don’t even realize they’re dealing with an abusive wife. The signs of an abusive woman can often be so subtle that men may not realize that they are at the receiving end.

Find out if you, or someone you know, is a victim of an abusive wife by going through the list below. Advice on how to deal with an abusive wife has also been discussed.

1. Controlling behavior

Abusive wives have controlling behavior. She will control who you hang out with, where you go, where you work, what you do with your paycheck, what you wear and how often you talk to family or friends.

The abuser will try to control you by utilizing non-verbal communication. She may refuse to talk to you, ignore you, stop being intimate with you, or even sulk until she gets her way. She is also an ace at controlling discussions.

2. Verbal abuse

In the event that you believe you are always (metaphorically speaking) walking on eggshells, this is most likely an indication of abuse. You may have an abusive wife in the event that she shouts, yells or blows a gasket over little things. Such an abusive woman may debilitate you, constantly criticize you, and will often reject your sentiments.

My wife is abusive. What do I do? If things have escalated to this level that you are wondering about the answer to this question then it’s time you took matters into your own hands and set boundaries to mend the relationship .

3. Violence

In the event that your significant other is rough, either when it comes to you or the people around you, you are in an oppressive relationship. If she punches, hits and slaps you, these are clear signs the relationship isn’t sound. She may, likewise, try to kick animals, punch walls or toss things at you when she does not get her way.

4. Extreme jealousy

Most abusive wives are envious. They might demonstrate a bad mood as soon as they see you talking with someone else. Of course, spouses do tend to get jealous when they see their significant others interact with other people. However, in this case, jealousy is a bit different. Your abusive wife will even grow jealous if you’re paying too much attention to your siblings or parents.

5. Unreasonable reactions

Another prominent sign of your wife being abusive is her having nonsensical reactions. When you commit an error, you feel there is nothing you can do to make it up to her. She won’t pardon you for your activities, regardless of how minute the mistake was or how much you plead her for forgiveness.

6. Isolation

Oppressive spouses need you all to themselves. They don’t need you investing energy with colleagues, family or companions. She would rather prefer you to be miserable and all by yourself. She doesn’t need you hanging out with other individuals for fear that they may identify the abuse.

7. Instills fear

Does your wife place you in circumstances that might make you fear for your life or safety? If there are instances where she tries to threaten you, makes you feel frightened, controls and manipulates you to the point where you begin dreading her and are scared, you are clearly in an abusive relationship.

8. Blames everyone else

She finds ways to accuse others; she assumes no liability for what she has done or said and will blame everybody for anything that turns out badly. She will dependably figure out how to point the finger at you.

On the off chance that you have never heard your wife apologize for anything and she is always playing the blame game, you might be in an abusive relationship.

9. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is the manipulative conduct used to confuse individuals into thinking their responses are so far away from what’s normal that they’re insane.

The abusive wife tells the husband he is crazy or it’s just in his head. Such husbands are often left wondering whether this behavior means that they need to correct themselves or their wife is abusive enough to skirt the issue by playing a blame game.

10. Inability to handle criticism

She can’t deal with feedback, regardless of how sincere it is. You can’t give useful feedback without backfiring. She sees everything as negative feedback and feels very insulted and attacked. In any case, she is more than ready to criticize, often in an insulting way, the moment you try and say something to her.

My wife is abusive, what do I do?

Set boundaries for the things or actions you will accept and not accept from your wife. Make sure to let her know what is and isn’t acceptable when she speaks to you or about you. Let her know, in no uncertain terms will you accept her belittling and demeaning you, your intelligence or your character.

On the off chance that she crosses your limits and calls you rude names, you’ll need to create some kind of space between the two of you. Get up and leave and disclose to her that each time she says something harmful or mean to you, you will leave her and that situation.

In no case should you continue being the victim in a relationship after identifying these signs of an abusive wife . Of course, doing all of these things might not work out. Your abusive wife might grow more aggressive. If she shows such behavior and refuses to respect you as her spouse, then it’s best to part ways for good. Living in a toxic marriage with an abusive wife won’t do you any good.

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

People victimized by verbal abuse in marriage, or other verbally abusive relationships, don’t want to give up easily. There is love or money (or both) at stake, and they could feel that the sacrifice of walking away is too great. Victims of verbally abusive relationships most want to know how to respond to verbal abuse and how to stop verbal abuse.

Stopping Verbal Abuse in Marriage, Relationships

Those on the victim side of verbally abusive relationships simply want the abuse to stop. They cannot understand why another person would want to be cruel. Most people waste too much time wondering “why” and not enough time reframing their own mental and emotional perspectives. But this, too, is an effect of abuse. Verbally abusive people “teach” their victims’ to focus outward toward them instead of inward to the victims’ own perceptions and feelings. (see Verbally Abusive Men and Women: Why Do They Abuse?)

Getting Control in Verbally Abusive Relationships

The only way to stop verbal abuse in marriage or other relationships is if victims change the way they respond to it. Here are five ways a victim of verbal abuse can change their reactions to a verbally abusive spouse, co-worker, or anyone else and possibly end the abuse:

  1. Every emotionally charged situation includes three things: The activating event, the victim’s beliefs about the activating event, and the victim’s resulting feelings or behaviors. Too often, people jump from the event straight to the feelings/behaviors without considering their beliefs about the event. If victims change their beliefs about the abusive event (here we go again, look at her trying to control me!), then their emotions and behaviors change, too. 1
  2. Recognize the difference between healthy negative emotions and unhealthy ones. Referring back to number one, victims who create beliefs that produce unhealthy negative emotions will feel things like rage, self-hatred, and anxiety. But victims whose beliefs create healthy negative emotions experience feelings like frustration, disappointment and sadness. The healthy negative feelings are appropriate (no one would be happy about being abused), but the unhealthy feelings spiral the victim into counter-productive behaviors and a feeling of being stuck in a horrible situation. 2
  3. Set personal boundaries on behaviors you will not accept from other people and enforce them. Personal boundaries erode over the course of a verbally abusive relationship as the abuser gains access to the victim’s safe zones. Setting personal boundaries mostly reminds the victim to be on the lookout for abusive behaviors, recognize them, and protect themselves from further emotional or mental harm.
  4. Victims of verbally abusive relationships who tell other people about the abuse find support and strength and are better able to stay clear-minded when the abuse occurs. Victims must be careful in their selection of support people. If someone in your circle consistently tells you, “You’re making more of this than it is,” or they insist the one who abuses you is a “good person,” then they’re not appropriate support.
  5. Victims who address the verbal abuse as it occurs have the opportunity to point out behavior the abuser might not realize s/he’s doing. If nothing else, addressing the abuse in real-time empowers the victim and sets the stage for remembering to do numbers 1-3. The easiest response to verbal abuse is “Stop it!” 3

Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.

Many women and men are going through the same struggle. Research across different countries and cultures has demonstrated a strong relationship between binge drinking and violence towards intimate partners, whether they are married, cohabiting, dating, or casual encounters, and whether the partners are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.  

Both men and women can be victims or perpetrators, but the vast majority of assaults and homicides are perpetrated by men to women.

As with all people with violent partners, you are not to blame for what’s happening to you, but you’re unlikely to get help unless you take action yourself to prevent further abuse. Only you can decide what to do in this situation, but you are strongly advised to seek professional help as soon as possible.

Drinking and Partner Violence

Binge drinking is associated with being both the perpetrator and the victim of violence between married couples. Think about how many drinks you have when you’re with your partner—the more you drink, as well as the more your partner drinks, the greater the risk that they will become violent towards you.

Alcohol is typically involved in the most severe incidents of violence towards partners. The relationship between alcohol consumption and intimate partner violence is similar across diverse cultures and drinking patterns.

While you may have “only” suffered from bruises up to this point, many partners, especially women, are hospitalized and die each year as a result of violence from a drunk partner, so it’s important that you deal with this now.

Research also shows that there is a consistent link between the number of drinks consumed per occasion and engaging in partner violence, suggesting that it’s alcohol intoxication rather than merely alcohol use that creates situations where violence occurs.  

One of the first things you can do is control your drinking by setting a limit on how much you and your partner will drink—if at all. Five drinks or more is particularly unsafe for escalating the risk of violence, so a limit of three to four drinks should be the maximum.

Even if you don’t want to discuss your partner’s drinking with them, you can control your own drinking right away.

Getting Help

You may love your partner and they may be kind the majority of the time. However, it’s absolutely crossing the line to hit or assault anyone. If possible, try talking to your partner when neither of you is under the influence and see if you can come up with a plan together about how to get help.

Both you and your partner likely need outside help in this situation. While some people who are violent towards their partners can learn more effective ways to manage their feelings and behavior, if left unchecked, you can find yourself living in fear, eventually suffering from injuries or worse.

Ideally, if your partner is willing to come to counseling, you should get couples counseling to address the underlying problems in your relationship. You should also both get counseling about your drinking (unless you are both willing and able to quit, and don’t drink most of the time), and your partner should get additional help to deal with their violent behavior.

If your partner becomes violent again, you can call 911 and ask for the police and an ambulance if you need medical attention. The police can help to link you with services in your area for abused partners. You can also find this help through your local community center or hospital.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

What drives them, and how you can bring them back.

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

The biggest challenge of living with a resentful or angry person is to keep from becoming one yourself—or else, the high contagion and reactivity of resentment and anger are likely to make you into someone you are not.

The second-biggest challenge in staying in a relationship with a resentful or angry person is trying to get him or her to change. Four major thorns are likely to obstruct that goal:

  • Victim identity
  • Conditioned blame
  • Temporary narcissism
  • Negative attributions

Victim Identity Breeds Entitlement

Resentful and angry people see themselves as merely reacting to an unfair world. They often feel offended by what they perceive as a general insensitivity to their “needs.” As a result, they are likely to feel attacked by any attempt to point out the ways in which they are unfair, much less the effects of their behavior or others.

Driven by high standards of what they should get and what other people should do for them, the angry and resentful frequently feel disappointed and offended, which, in turn, causes more entitlement. It seems only fair, from their perspective, that they be compensated for their constant frustrations. Special consideration seems like so little to ask!

Here’s the logic: “It’s so hard being me, I shouldn’t have to do the dishes, too!”

Conditioned to Blame

Most problem anger is powered by the habit of blaming uncomfortable emotional states on others. The resentful or angry have conditioned themselves to pin the cause of their emotional states on someone else, thereby becoming powerless over self-regulation. Instead, they use the shot of adrenaline-driven energy and confidence that comes with resentment and anger, in the same way that many of us are conditioned to make a cup of coffee first thing in the morning.

This is an easy habit to form, since resentment and anger have amphetamine and analgesic effects—they provide an immediate surge of energy and numbing of pain. They increase confidence and a sense of power, which feel much better than the powerlessness and vulnerability of whatever insult or injury stimulated the conditioned response of blame.

If you experience any amphetamine, including anger or resentment, you will soon crash from the surge of vigor and confidence into self-doubt and diminished energy. And that’s just the physiological response; it does not include the added depressive effects of doing something while you’re resentful or angry that you are later ashamed of, like hurting people you love.

The law of blame is that it eventually goes to the closest person. Your resentful or angry partner is likely to blame you for the problems of the relationship—if not life in general—and, therefore, will not be highly motivated to change.

Temporary Narcissism

I have had hundreds of clients who were misdiagnosed by their partners’ therapists (or their partners’ self-help books) with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Although it is unethical—and foolhardy—for professionals to diagnose someone they have not examined, it is an easy mistake to make when considering those who are chronically resentful or angry. Indeed, everyone is narcissistic when they’re feeling angry or resentful. In the adrenaline rush of even low-grade anger, everyone feels entitled and more important than those who have stimulated their anger. Everyone has a false sense of confidence, if not arrogance, at those times, is motivated to manipulate, and is incapable of empathy.

Negative Attributions

States of anger and resentment feature narrow, rigid thinking that amplify and magnify only the negative aspects of a behavior or situation. The tendency of the angry and resentful to attribute malevolence, incompetence, or inadequacy to those who disagree with them makes negotiation extremely difficult. We are all likely to devalue those who incur our resentment or anger. Even if we do it in our heads, without acting it out, this negativity will almost certainly be communicated in a close relationship.

The Healing Emotion

You can easily get stuck in a Pendulum of Pain when living with a resentful or angry person. This leads to a tragic Catch-22: “When my partner heals whatever hurt seems to cause the resentment and anger, then he/she will be more compassionate.” The truth is, your partner will not heal without becoming more compassionate. Compassion breaks the hold of victim identity, habituated blaming, temporary narcissism, and negative attributions by putting us in touch with our basic humanity. Your compassion will heal you but not your partner.

Compassionate Assertiveness

In demanding change from your partner, your emotional demeanor is more important than the words you use, and it must stem from the deep conviction that he or she will not recover without learning to sustain compassion. You must be convinced that you and your family deserve a better life and be determined to achieve it. It is important to see your partner not as an enemy or opponent, but someone who is betraying his or her deepest values by mistreating you. Approach him or her with compassion, and say, in your own words, something like:

“Neither of us is being the partner we want to be. I know that I am not, and I’m pretty sure that in your heart you don’t like the way we react to each other. (It’s hurting our children as well.) If we go on like this, we will begin to hate ourselves. We have to become more understanding, sympathetic, and valuing of one another, for all our sakes.”

Because your partner cannot recover without developing greater compassion, the most compassionate thing for you to do is insist that he or she treat you with the value and respect you deserve, if you are to stay in the relationship.

You are most humane when you model compassion and insist that your partner do the same.

Just for the record, my wife came up with that title.

I know this never happens to anyone else in their relationships, but it did for me about four months ago.

Topic: Our responsibilities as a spouse to one another

I’m not sure why the lines that I drew were so blurry to my wife, but for some odd reason she wasn’t feeling as great about my decision as I was.

As a man, there’s an entitlement to laying down the laws in the household—whether everyone likes them or not. At least that’s what I thought up until 11:33 p.m. that night.

In my mind, my wife was being lazy and not wanting to pull her weight around the house among countless other flaws that I had been so kind to point out. One of which has always been sleep. I can function well on four to six hours of sleep, unbeknownst to me, my wife requires at least eight or more hours just to keep her sanity. Needless to say, this was one area of tension in our house. I felt like she needed to be up with me and running the same pace and serving me the “hard working husband.” All she had to do was go read Proverbs 31 right? She should be up before me and have a hot breakfast all set out.

What a jerk huh ladies?

So somewhere around 12:13 a.m. or so, after having beat the proverbial dead horse again, it hit me, all the things that I was really irritated about with my wife were really things that I was insecure with or failed to control in my own life. It wasn’t that my wife was lazy and not wanting to get up with me at o’dark thirty, but it was the fact that if I didn’t have to I would be sleeping just as long, and I would surely not be joyful at that time of day either.

Interestingly enough, this one subject was not the only thing that I had a problem with when it came to the way I thought my wife should be operating her life. The more I took an honest look at all the things that I was frustrated with in her , the more I found they were ALL things that I needed to change in my own life. Wow, you want to talk about a hard pill to swallow. That went down like an elephant pill. No, it didn’t feel good. I felt like the world biggest ignoramus. How do you recover from that one? We’d been married for over four years and this was just coming to the suface. Tell you what. My wife is a saint.

So from there, it’s been all sunshine and roses. Well…for the most part anyways. It’s amazing how much a different perspective on life can really change so many things.

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

Almost every abused man struggles with admitting he has a verbally abusive wife, so they do not seek support as readily as women do. There is hardly any support available specifically for men, gay or straight, if they want to leave an abusive relationship. The simple explanation is that most research on domestic abuse historically focuses on verbally abused women. 3 There is not much out there that explains the underlying conflicts in a marriage where verbally abusive women commit harm, so helping agencies do not know how to reach out to abused men effectively.

But wait, there is more bad news. Patricia Evans, verbal abuse expert and author on several books explaining verbal abuse, has this disappointing news:

“. although I’ve seen men change, I have never seen a woman transform from seriously verbally abusing her mate to treating him with empathy. The therapists I’ve talked with about this issue have not seen verbally abusive women change either. please know that the odds are against your partner changing.” 1

This applies to women in lesbian relationships also.

Why is it so unusual for a verbally abusive wife to change? For a woman to lack empathy and completely disconnect from everything that our culture says constitutes femininity (i.e. intuition, receptiveness) she must be very severely psychologically damaged, practically beyond repair. 1

A Verbally Abusive Wife is Different

What’s different between verbally abusive wives and husbands who abuse? One big difference is that women are not born with male privilege (they cannot base their power over their victim on societal views promoting patriarchy), so they must find another way to control and create fear through verbal abuse. In about 50% of cases, verbally abusive wives find that power in threats to “manipulate the system” 2 – accuse their husband of abuse and have him arrested.

Typically, abusive women go about verbally and emotionally abusing men just as men go about abusing women. They use coercion and threats, emotional abuse, intimidation, blaming, minimizing, denying, isolation, economic abuse, and the children, plus more. 2

Dealing with Verbal Abuse From Wife

So what is a man to do about his verbally abusive wife? The techniques used to help a verbally abusive man change probably won’t work. 1 Divorce is a scary option when children are involved because, despite stories to the contrary, mothers retain custody a majority of the time and family courts are not good at discerning abusive parents from non-abusive ones. 4

  • Setting personal boundaries and following through with them will protect the victim from exposure to verbal abuse and help them gain clarity about their relationship.
  • Spending time with friends and attending a support group will help build strength and determination.
  • Calling an abuse hotline will give victims an understanding ear and helpful resources.
  • Attending counseling with a therapist familiar with the dynamics of abuse is very helpful.
  • Research into trauma theory could be especially helpful in determining creative ways victims can deal with verbally abusive wives.

In the end, the verbally abused man asks the same question as any other victim of abuse: Is this relationship worth the effort and energy it requires? (See also: How to Stop Verbal Abuse and How to Deal with a Verbally Abusive Husband or Boyfriend)

  1. General Characteristics of Emotionally Abusive Mothers
  2. Signs of Verbal Abuse
  3. How Do You Know If Your Wife Is Cheating?
  4. Excessive Jealousy & Possessiveness
  5. How to Know If My Girlfriend Is a Narcissist

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

Men are not the only ones that can be abusive. Women can also be abusive. Marital abuse is when the spouse attempts to exert control and power over her partner. Here are the top 10 signs you have an abusive wife.

Controlling Behavior

Abusive wives are controlling. She will control who you hang out with, where you go, where you work, what you do with your paycheck, what you wear and how often you talk to family or friends. The abuser will attempt to control you by using body language, according to DrIrene.com. She may refuse to talk to you, ignore you or sulk until she gets her way. She is also a master at controlling conversations.

Violence

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

If your wife is violent, you are in an abusive relationship. If she punches, hits and slaps you, these are obvious signs the relationship is not healthy. She may also try to kick animals, punch holes in the wall or throw things at you when she doesn’t get her way.

Extreme Jealousy

Most abusive wives are jealous. There are two parts to jealously. She may be jealous of you as a person or jealous when she is not the center of attention. A spouse who is insecure in a relationship is different from a spouse who is jealous each time you talk to a complete stranger. The later example would be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Isolation

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

Abusive wives want you all to themselves. They do not want you spending time with platonic co-workers, family or friends. She would rather you be unhappy by yourself. She doesn’t want you hanging with other people in fear that they may see the abuse.

Verbal Abuse

If you feel you are walking on eggshells, this is probably a sign of verbal abuse. Your wife is abusive if she yells, screams or emotionally freaks out over small things. She may threaten you and will always dismiss your feelings.

Blames Everyone Else

She blames others. She takes no responsibility for her actions and blames everyone for anything that goes wrong. She will always find a way to blame you. If you have never heard your wife apologize for anything, you may be in an abusive relationship.

Gaslight

Gaslighting is “manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy,” according to The Current Conscience. The abuser tells the victim he or she is crazy or “it’s all in your head.” The victim begins to question reality.

Unreasonable Expectations

Your wife has unreasonable expectations. When you make a mistake, you feel there is nothing you can do to make it up to her. She won’t forgive you for your actions, no matter how small the mistake.

Instills Fear

How to handle a violent girlfriend or wife

Does your wife put you in situations that make you fear for your life? If she tries to intimidate you, make you feel scared, control and manipulate you to the point where you are fearful of her actions, you are in an abusive relationship.

Can’t Handle Criticism

She can’t handle criticism. You cannot even give constructive criticism without it backfiring. She perceives everything as negative criticism and is highly offended. But she is more than able to criticize, usually in a rude way. If you tell her she is rude, she will say you are too sensitive.

I am becoming increasingly concerned by my wife’s outbursts of anger. She has a very short fuse and very few coping strategies, so when something goes wrong (anything from a birthday party invite being declined, to a jar not opening first time, to being hungry), she is prone to rage, usually clenching fists, shouting and swearing and occasionally banging or throwing things. The anger is usually directed at the nearest person, regardless of whether that person has caused the issue. That person is usually me, but occasionally it’s our two year old – and that is what is starting to concern me.

I don’t want her to swear at our child, and even when the swearing is directed elsewhere I feel bad for our daughter who has to see this display of bad attitude. I confront my wife about it and she admits it’s wrong and promises not to do it again – but she does. I genuinely don’t think she has any control over it.

I know she would never be intentionally violent towards our child but I know she is right on the border of losing control of her own actions. It is rare that the anger escalates to that point but there have been times that I have just wanted to snatch our daughter away and stand between us, just in case.

I’ve asked her to see a doctor or other professional (maybe anger management?) but she won’t engage in that conversation at all. She’s always been a bit like this, but the stresses of parenthood seem to bring it out more and more.

She’s otherwise a perfectly intelligent, reasonable and loving person so I’m not interested in any just-leave-her comments. I’m just out of ideas about how to deal with this happening in front of our daughter, because I’m sure if it continues it will harm her emotionally in some way.

7 Answers 7

You’re right to be concerned with regard to your daughter’s emotional well-being. She is in for a very rough life (it doesn’t end when she leaves home) if something doesn’t change. In 1986, Ney et al published a seminal study showing that of 5 kinds of abuse (physical, verbal, sexual, physical neglect and emotional neglect), verbally abused children were most negatively affected, with low self-esteem, self-directed anger, aggressive behavior and pessimism about their futures.

You’re an adult, and you can handle your wife’s unpredictable (or predictable) mood swings. One reason is that as an adult, you know how to keep yourself safe. You are in a situation of being equally as (or maybe even more) powerful as your wife. You have power over your physical self. You can probably also remove yourself physically from an alarming situation.

Your daughter, however, is completely helpless, and depends on her parents to keep her safe in a world that has more than enough challenges to deal with. To allow her to be subjected to a volatile and frightening parent will do a considerable amount of psychological damage.

Imagine, if you can, how you would feel about your wife’s rages if you were in an accident and were consequently paraplegic with a limited ability to communicate. You are with her all day (no going off to work) and pretty much totally dependent on her. You have no way to help your wife calm down or to negotiate the situation. She’s screaming down at you in your wheelchair, and you can’t just roll yourself away. There’s little you can do except endure her rage each time and hope she doesn’t throw something at you or hit you this time. If you turn your back to her, will she get even angrier? If you can imagine that, you might have a window into your daughter’s situation. Young children of emotionally labile parents are sometimes afraid their parent will kill them. Furthermore, your daughter has no recourse except to hope for your protection during these events, which are traumatic regardless of at whom the rage is directed.

Add to that the fact that young children think the world revolves around them. Your daughter will think it’s her fault that mommy is so angry. She will grow up thinking she is a bad person who deserves to be emotionally abused.

You say that you don’t want to leave your wife, and I want to respect that. But know that to stay, you are acting as if her raging is acceptable behavior (in action, not words).

You can’t protect your daughter while her mother is a primary caretaker. As you said,

I confront my wife about it and she admits it’s wrong and promises not to do it again – but she does. I genuinely don’t think she has any control over it.

You may think she’s unable to control it, she might think she’s unable to control it, but the truth is, she has no valid reason – none whatsoever, really – to refuse to seek help for her mood disorder.

You don’t have many options if you want to stay in this relationship. Some of them are

  • start therapy yourself to learn why your wife behaves the way she does and how you can set healthy boundaries‡
  • to convince her to go for professional counseling and to stay in counseling as long as this is a problem
  • remove your daughter from this situation (can she live with her grandmother?) until your wife learns to control herself permanently

Is the latter option legal? It is if your daughter is being abused (verbal abuse counts.) Start gathering proof with your smart phone, and store the evidence where she has no access to it. Likely she will rage at this as well, but it seems to me you need to start doing something radically different if you want her to get counseling.

What you can do for your daughter is limited, but every bit helps: love her, validate her, give her an emotional vocabulary so she can express herself (‘scared/sad/mad/happy/etc.), make sure she knows that your wife’s anger is not her fault, and protect her from your wife’s rages. She needs you.

‡Your wife blame-shifts: when she’s angry, she blames someone or something else for behavior she engages in. It is likely that initially when you stand up to her, she will become angrier and will blame you. You need to be prepared (this is where your therapy will help) to handle this. It is likely to get worse before it gets better.

How to make your husband happy

Making a good marriage takes work. During courtship and the newlywed period, a couple will often feel like their marriage will never have any problems. They think that they will love each other for the rest of their life, that they will have a good marriage forever. However, as many married couples discover, having a good marriage does take work. In addition to have a good marriage couple must have these important characteristics such as love, communication and spending time together.

Marriage is all started with love, it’s because how can you marry someone if you don’t felt love.I remember when the first time I met this guy, my heart beats so fast, my hands were cold and I can’t barely talk. I think I fell in love. I believe the saying that “love is a blind” because I accepted him for what he really are. We became friends for many months, so we have a strong friendship and have staying power. We enjoy hanging out together and we considered each other “best friend”. Now that we were married, sometimes he’s on a business trip I realized that it’s hard to wake up every morning without him. I think he’s my life.

There are a variety of other general characteristics of a good marriage. Like my husband and I were trying to avoid temptations of infidelity and we respect each other. If I have done something wrong he always forgives me. We also respect one onother’s boundaries and privacy. Our marriage filled with love, I remember when he makes me breakfast, buy my favorite stuff and take me to dinner or movies. This simple things that he showed to me makes me happy. He always reminded me that we are a team, and organize our lives as such.

I have this ideas and I think the root is communication. Although, at first I wasn’t good at it, I can’t express what I feel, and if I get dissapointed I’m just being quite. Until, one time we had a fight which is normal for a couple, so my husband told me to speak up and give some ideas to avoid burying.

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If you are a stay-at-home parent, you know there are things that you and your working spouse handle differently. What you have in common is that you both work long hours, your day doesn’t just come to an end at night, and you have to get up the next day and do it all over again and again, and again.

Stay-at-home dads have issues just like stay-at-home moms, but we sometimes have trouble effectively addressing them. Through observations in a stay-at-home dad group I help run, I have noticed some issues between SAHDs and their spouses. Luckily, my wife and I have learned some tips along the way during these past six years of me being at home. If your husband is staying at home or thinking about it, you may want to keep these suggestions in mind.

1. Let it go.
Sorry if you are now singing that Frozen song. You are going to need to let your at-home dad do things his way. I know it is hard and there are things that are going to bug you, like the fact that he wipes the tables counterclockwise instead of clockwise, but we are hoping you can let that slide.

He is going to have to find out on his own what his schedule should be, on his terms. Suggestions about how to make things more efficient are fine, but in the end, we will want to do things our own way. Imposing your will on us may just shut us down more. Let us figure it out and come up with a schedule that fits with our parenting style.

2. Don’t nag.
Nothing is going to get us motivated less than when you are constantly asking us to do something. We are aware of our shortcomings, and in most cases, we are trying to find that balance between caring for the kids and managing the household duties. Give us some time. Sometimes, things go by the wayside because we get overwhelmed.

3. Set clear expectations.
Sit down together and communicate about the things you expect to be accomplished each day. Some couples think that just managing to keep the kids alive and healthy is enough, but others may have further expectations about cleanliness, meal preparation, etc. Make sure, in the end, that you are on the same page. This will help cut down on problems later.

4. Cleaning house.
If we were anal-retentive when you met us with things needing to be clean, this is probably carrying over into our lives with the kids — maybe even more so. But, if you remember a time when you met us and we maintained our apartment but it didn’t meet your standards, this is more than likely what is going to continue in the home, especially when you add the kids into the mix.

Cleaning sucks, and there are lots of things we would rather do than clean that space between the toilet seat and the tank — like play with the kids. Guys, do a floor check. Get down on the ground and play with the kids. See things from their level. If you are disgusted and would rather put a blanket down before lying in that filth, then it is time to put on your Mr. Clean hat.

5. Help out when you can.
This is a big issue with most SAHDs. We know you have been working all day and you probably have to work into the night as well, but any assistance you give us is going to be much appreciated. Men tend to internalize issues until they build up and are afraid to ask for help because we know you are doing so much already and don’t want to start a fight.

This is where clear expectations come into play. (See #3.) Tag team the nighttime routine. Ask your husband how he usually does things so you can stay consistent. That is really going to help us into the next day with the kids. Deviation is going to cause problems with our routine.

6. Communicate effectively.
If there is something that needs to get done and we aren’t doing it, tell us in a way that is not attacking. Men tend to get defensive when our shortcomings are pointed out. I often have difficulty with criticism because I respond better to praise. Sandwich the request with some compliments on what we are doing right. That softens the blow and makes us more willing to work on our weaknesses than just pointing out what we aren’t doing well.

7. Pencil us in.
We know you are tired and so are we, but please, work us into your schedule, because we want to be in your inbox. Plough through that work together. See what I did there? It relieves stress and helps you reconnect with each other despite all the stuff you have to do; instead, do each other.

8. Give us some space.
We need guy time as much as you need girls’ night out. Offer to watch the kids so we can go to that action movie you would never watch with us, or suggest that we get together with the guys at a restaurant or bar to blow off some steam. You know how it is at bedtime and on weekends. Imagine your incompetent co-workers hassling you all day. Same deal. Sometimes we just want to drive to Target to walk around aimlessly without someone asking us for something.

9. Take time for yourself.
We want you to be as rested and sharp as possible, because you are providing for our family and you deserve it. If you need some time alone or away from the kids, just ask. We can plan to have them away for a bit while you nap, catch up on work or head out to the store by yourself. Just know that eventually, we are coming back.

If you know how to be your husband’s best friend, you don’t need a mirror to tell you how beautiful you are. A marriage is a blessed one when both the husband and the wife love each and respect one another. They would be like friends who understand and listen to one another, walking on the path of life through ups and downs, holding each other strong. This is why when problems arise in marriages; it is better to confront one another in a cool and composed manner, sit and talk it out and arrive at a solution soon. When this is done with tact and grace, patience and wisdom, there would be a lot of love and understanding that happens when solutions are being sought after.

Tips:

1. Figure out what motivates you to love him more? Use the right choice of words when addressing him. Try not to bring up anything that would hurt him, open an old wound, bring him down in public, abuse his oneness and wholeness with you or force him to isolate you from him

2. It’s your attitude and zest for life that brought him close to you, don’t let go off that. Show him that you care, respect him and make him understand in a loving way that respect is mutual. Never breathe down his back, rather motivate him and encourage him to take on life with full gusto.

3. Be there at the right place and at the right time, as much as possible. Your husband wants to see his best friend, which is you when he wins an accolade or when he gives a heart warming speech. Even if there are differences between the two of you, sort it out in private and never wash your dirty linen in public. There could be many vultures out there waiting for him to leave you and you to leave him, don’t let them have a chance.

Women are naturally sensitive to situations and conditions, but don’t let that affect you, especially when you know that you are the only one he has around in this world. Understand his point of view and also make him understand yours. Clarify anything you want with questions, not too many at the same time. Respect his viewpoints and allow him to hear you out too.

4. Be friendly when making decisions for him, know his limits and to what extent he can hold forth. Don’t pressurize him to do anything which he cannot afford to do. Remember, he is a provider and not a machine that can churn your whims and fancies round the clock.

5. While caring for him, isolate issues that hurt him the most, bury them somewhere deep. This is what best friends do for one another, be that best friend he always wanted and make it HIM over YOU for the moment; someday he shall do the same.

6. Don’t whine or rant about him coming home late every day, you really don’t know what his day was like, as he doesn’t know why you rant or whine too. No judging his situations and he wouldn’t judge you too

Final words:

A marriage is about understanding your best friend, someone you love and care for. Ensure that at the end of the day if the conflicts still don’t see their end, you seek professional help for the same. Speak to him as a friend would when you were hurt, he needs tender care now and then, and trust a man never to ask for some.

Keep him happy, show him who the best friend is.

How to make your husband happy

In This Article

For a married woman, the question that will always stay in the back of your mind is – How to make your husband happy?

Because a happy husband equals a happy life. Yes, there are other problems, but with a content husband, things tend to get a lot easier.

So, here are five tested things you can do when you wonder how to make your husband happy and your life a bit nicer.

1. Create a home

When you’re getting married, or are freshly married, you spend a lot of time thinking about how to create a home for your husband to be and yourself.

Even the least traditional couples don’t get married unless they want the union to be more than their relationship. Marriage is about two people making their house a home.

So, to make your husband happy , feel free to indulge your nesting urges. Try to create the perfect and personalized space for the two of you (and your children).

Think of different ways to ensure the place you’re living in is oozing the feelings of family warmth and safety. Make homecooked meals, invite friends and family over, frame your photos… The possibilities are boundless!

2. Give him space

If you asked any man to give his honest opinion on how a wife should treat her husband, you’d surely hear that she should give him space. It’s not a bad thing.

Women have a tendency to cling firmly to those they love , and they interpret any kind of distance as a sign of emotional coldness. However, for men, this just isn’t the case.

Respecting your man means respecting his needs. His individuality, and his aspirations . This means letting him have as much alone time or guys-time as he needs.

He’ll be that much happier to see you afterward. It will also show him that you’re feeling safe with him and you trust him, which will, definitely, make him happy.

3. Maintain the romance

So, you’ve made him happy, but how to keep your husband happy? There’s one universal way that works every time – keep the flame alive .

It works even when you wonder how to make your husband love you again after you’ve lost the spark. The secret is in going back to the time when the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.

There are plenty of ideas on how to please your husband sexually and how to make love to your husband out there. It’s easy to get too comfortable with each other in marriage to the point of becoming roommates.

Instead of succumbing to inertia, think of how to romance your husband all over again, and enjoy the rekindled passion of your relationship.

4. Small gestures of love

When you ask for tips to look after your husband, most happily married women will tell you to never lose focus of the small things you can do for him.

Taking care of your man sometimes means getting out of the routine and thinking of a present, or a surprise for him.

This will show him that you aren’t just mechanically living out your married life, but you actually think of different ways to make him happy. So, sit down and make a list of nice things to do for your husband.

For example, you can buy him tickets for a show, a game, or a plane – to wherever he always wanted to travel! You could incorporate all of the previous advice into a surprise for him.

There’s only one rule – make sure it’s something personal and very well thought-through.

5. Keep yourself happy

Finally, one unexpected advice. How to make your husband happy? Be happy yourself. Yes, marriage is about giving and dedication.

But, there’s no point in you spending the entire day in cleaning, cooking, decorating, arranging a gift, if you’re going to fall unconscious at the end of it all. Your husband needs someone to share the joy with!

In marriage, you should also remember to cherish your individuality. Be selfless, but also tend to your own needs. Don’t neglect your friends and family, your hobbies, or your interests.

Don’t forego your ambitions and plans. Don’t sit on your own needs. If you deprive yourself of satisfying your own needs and wants, you’ll end up a miserable person. And a husband cannot be happy with an unhappy wife!

Marriage is full of many ups and downs, adventures, and incredible memories with the person you love. “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” – Dave Meurer.

The reason behind unhappy marriages is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. The great marriages are partnerships. Husband and wife relationships are like the relationship of Tom and Jerry. Though they are teasing and fighting, but can’t live without each other.

How to make your husband happy

Husband is someone who makes you laugh, Wipes your tears, Hugs you tight when you’re feeling down, celebrates your success and keeps you strong when you lose.

Enhance your husband’s self-worth by discovering—and doing—what pleases him. Let’s have a look at some effective ways through which you can make your husband happy.

  • Show him respect
  • Affection
  • Praise him
  • Stay calm
  • Cook his favorite meal
  • Accept him the way he is
  • Let things go
  • Don’t spy on him
  • Be strong and independent
  • Don’t ignore yourself

Show him respect

Creating a loving and memorable bond with your husband starts with respect. One of the best ways a wife can show her husband that she loves and respects him is by actively listening to him when he talks. Refrain from interrupting. Try to avoid making any negative comments about his thoughts and opinions.

How to make your husband happy

Affection

Many husbands simply want to experience more affection. You can show him affection by different ways such as: holding his hand in public, leaving a love message on his voicemail massaging his shoulders, showing that you care about him through actions of fondness will touch his heart. Try different ways to demonstrate how much you care about him by being warm. Simple things you can do include telling him how much you love him, make him happy when he’s feeling doubtful, and telling him you’re sorry when things go wrong.

How to make your husband happy

Praise him

Sweet words can make your husband feel extra special. Your encouraging words could change his mood and it can really give him a feel of being a great husband. It can also encourage him to do more great things for you. You can compliment him for being a good husband. You can appreciate the way he pampers you, and also on his physical attributes.

How to make your husband happy

Stay calm

When your husband is angry try your level best to stay calm. Arguing or counter-attacking may fuel the fire and make things worse. Instead, let there be peace for a while. Wait for him to settle down, and listen to him if he wants to talk. Don’t make an effort to prove yourself right by making him feel that he’s all the way wrong. This can make him irritated and things can really be dragged into a longer fight.

How to make your husband happy

Cook his favorite meal

Good food goes a long way to bringing people together. Making a great meal for your husband is undoubtedly great way for you to show him how much you love him. When he comes home after a hectic day and you’ll serve him with his favorite food that is definitely going to work as a mood booster for him Plus, you get to enjoy a good meal as well!

How to make your husband happy

Accept him the way he is

The most important thing is never try to change your guy into someone that he obviously is not. If it is not something that can cause him any harm (alcoholism, smoking, drugs, etc.), then you ought not to create a conflict by making him feel that you want to change him. You married him because you loved him the way he is so there’s no point to change him after he becomes your husband. If you try to change his base nature then obviously it’ll be a mistake on your part.

How to make your husband happy

It’s better to let things go

“A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham

If we talk about forgiveness, it is ‘something that plays always a vital role in making a relationship successful. If he has forgotten anniversary, you birthday or anything else Don’t just indulge yourself in heated argument, just take a deep breath and say It’s okay. Your lenient and cool behavior would definitely make him realize his mistake.

How to make your husband happy

Don’t spy on him just trust him

If you have been cheated on or hurt in a past relationship, don’t let that baggage follow you into your marriage. Don’t spy on him when he’s out with his friends. Let him know that you trust him and he will for sure do all that he can to ensure he does not break your trust.

How to make your husband happy

Be strong and independent woman

Tell your partner where he is wrong in a respectful way. Don’t bend over to anything he says just to make it easier for his ego. Explain to him what he has done wrong and don’t make it a personal matter. Be a strong and independent woman he fell in love with.

How to make your husband happy

Don’t ignore yourself

When you are making great efforts to make your husband happy don’t forget about yourself. It’s necessary to look beautiful for our spouse and of course for ourselves too. Don’t ever ignore to groom yourself. We all have got a lot of work to do either its house chores or some office work, it becomes difficult to keep yourself presentable even at home. You can make little effort for yourself to show him your beauty. Brush your teeth, take a shower, and wear a beautiful dress, and flaunt what you have! It will definitely make him happy, undoubtedly in return he’ll do the same for you and he will make himself look amazing!

How to make your husband happy

Do the things you know makes your husband happy.

What do you do that makes your husband happy? Share your precious views with us.

A happy husband is a man who feels loved by his wife in all ways possible. In the beginning of a marriage there is romance, intimacy and warmth, but over time these feelings sometimes dissipate. It then becomes essential for a wife to do her part to strengthen the marital bond and to send reassurances her husband’s way that he is special.

There are ways to keep your husband happy for many years of marriage. The happier he is, the happier you will both be.

Paying Attention to Hubby

Women talk about and express their feelings more than do men, but remember that men have feelings too. A man can go through a range of emotions from the start of the day to the end of a day. It is vital that a wife pays attention to her husband’s feelings and is sensitive to them. When there is an issue that needs to be discussed involving feelings, sit down and discuss it together.

Never discount the importance of physical closeness during these moments. There is no substitute for a kiss or a hug that communicates the message: I am in your corner.

Criticism and nagging do not make for a happy husband. It is not always easy to hold your tongue but learn to separate the small issues from the larger ones and let petty things go.

So maybe he never fills up the windshield washer fluid in the car when it is running low or he always leaves the newspaper open on the dining room table. These are not major problems. Refrain from nagging. In fact, nagging often causes the action to get worse, not better.

Keep in mind that you may do things that bother him too. Consider yourselves even in that regard and move on.

A happy husband is a man who knows his wife is proud of him. He knows this because his wife makes it a practice to tell him all of the time. But she knows not to go overboard and make the gesture seem phony. A simple, “Wow you are amazing!” can make a man glow with pride.

The wife who knows how to make her husband happy also knows that public acknowledgment is also important. She praises him when she is amongst family and friends and makes sure he knows it. A happy husband likes to have his ego stroked as often as possible.

Happy Sex Life, Happy Husband

To keep your husband happy and keep the zest and zing in your marriage, realize that sex is extremely important to men. Make sex a top priority and your hubby will be smiling from sun up to sun down.

This is an area where men and women often differ. Men need the rush of physical intimacy to feel emotionally connected to their wives.

A happy husband is one who is getting his needs met in the bedroom and who knows that he is satisfying his wife as well. For men sex is high on the list of priorities, and is analogous to the need for food.

It is not always easy for a wife to understand how her sex drive differs from her husband’s. She must make a concentrated effort to get inside his head and figure out where he is coming from in this regard.

Develop a flair for the unexpected and send surprises his way whenever you can. Send the kids to spend a night at their grandparent’s house and cook a special meal for him, but don’t tell him about it beforehand. Make it your secret surprise. Add some candles, wine and a little French maid’s outfit as you meet him at the front door. What husband would not welcome that kind of homecoming?

Leave him a note under his pillow, next to the coffee maker or on the seat of his car telling him how much you love and appreciate him. Forego using a pen and instead think outside the box—use your favorite lipstick! If he carries a briefcase to work, stuff a little note inside with your lipstick print and spritz your favorite perfume on it. He will be so focused on how happy a husband you make him that he will have a difficult time concentrating at the board meeting.

Surprise your husband with his favorite treat such as cupcakes with cream cheese frosting or brownies when he least expects it; this sends the message that you are in tune with what he likes.

Men appreciate being the focal point and love it when their wives know them well enough to care about the little touches that add specialness and “frosting” to life. A small gift from time to time just to show him how much you love and value him is always welcome. You are getting the point across that “I love you and our love is strong.”

Love Language

Show respect for your husband. Pay attention to the words you use when you speak to him and the intonation of the words. Perhaps you meant to say something pleasant but it came out in a sarcastic manner. Men are as attuned to the nuances of speech as women, so be aware of how you say things and be sure to apologize if you are in the wrong.

Likewise, be sure to let him know when he has offended you in a tactful way and build strong, open lines of communication.

Communication between the sexes is not always easy but bear in mind that women and men are more similar than different when it comes to how they feel. While they may communicate in dissimilar ways, it is vital to make an effort to find a happy medium and to work from there. Make sure you are both clear on what the other person is saying before you move on in the conversation. This is a key point when it comes to making joint decisions as a couple.

A happy husband is made happier when he does not feel as though he blends into the woodwork or is a fixture in the home.

Do what you can to show him that he is not an obligation to you, a routine or a pattern but that he is the love of your life, your life partner and that he matters, today, tomorrow and always. Use your special powers as a wife to make your husband shine. Bask in the love you share together. Laugh together, cry together and never stop doing funny, silly or outrageous things together.

Learn his love language at FiveLoveLanguages.com and use it whenever possible. All marriages need spice so heat it up the way the two of you do best!

Together time is important, but so is alone time. Give your husband his space when he needs it. When he goes out to the workshop to tinker around, don’t follow him in there but leave him be.

Wives need time to do their own woman things and husbands need the same consideration. When he wants to have a night out with the guys, don’t let insecurity get the best of you. Encourage him to do so. If he comes home a little tipsy, do not reprimand him like a child but be thankful that he had the sense to call a cab!

Where there is a happy husband there is to be found a happy wife. A couple that are happy together are able to transmit love back and forth, creating a ripple effect to other members of the family.

Happiness cannot be seen but it can certainly be felt and it can lead to a future that is rich in love and joy. Ask your husband if he is happy and the answer you receive could lead to a greater strengthening of your bond. Value the merits of happiness and let it guide the love you have for one another.

How to make your husband happy

You probably want to know how to please your man in bed. But guys aren’t always so verbal about what they need.

Try these five strategies to please your man, sexually and otherwise. Once you get the ball rolling and start figuring out the keys on how to please your man in bed, you’ll start noticing he becomes more generous as a lover, and your relationship will become much more pleasurable as a whole.

1. Initiate, but read his cues.

Most men love when women initiate sex. But at the same time, be aware that he might not always be in the mood. So pay attention to his cues and when you sense he might be in the mood, seize the moment and initiate intimacy. It takes a lot of courage to initiate sex, but if your relationship is strong enough, you can get vulnerable and choose not to take it personally if he isn’t up for sex when you are.

Choose your timing wisely. If he is watching the big game, don’t try to get frisky while he is engrossed in his favorite sport. Instead, tease him a bit during commercial breaks — bring him a fresh beer during a commercial break, wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. Then go about your business and watch the clock.

As soon as the game is over, go for it. Did his team win? Help him celebrate. Did they lose? Ask him if there is anything you can do to cheer him up. Think about how you like sex initiated and then give him the same respect — pay attention to his moods and offer intimacy in a way that lets him know that you see and appreciate what is going on in his world.

2. Broaden the range of pleasure.

Intercourse is an intense sexual act — you have to really be in the mood for penetration to enjoy it. But master the art of using your hands to suspend your man in pure pleasure, and you’ll be able to satisfy him way more often. A lot of women scoff at handjobs because we aren’t very confident. We assume men know how to touch themselves way better than we’ll ever be able to, so we just avoid it.

Ladies, choose to master the art of manual stimulation and a whole new world of pleasure can open up! He’ll love being able to relax and receive your touch. If he tries to reach for you, playfully slap his hands away and say “Tonight it’s all about you, honey!”

Don’t just think about handjobs as a lame substitute for intercourse — your hands are the best sex tools ever invented and can give him sensations unavailable in any other sex act. Skilled handjobs are also the key to learning how to extend his pleasure so he can last longer in bed, as you create peaks and valleys of arousal and keep him suspended in pleasure.

3. Make room for the masculine.

There are a lot of different kinds of masculinity, but they all need room to thrive and be expressed. Give him room, both in your relationship and in your home, to express his masculinity. A lot of guys need permission to claim the space to be who they are. Give him the gift of acknowledging his need to be a dude once in awhile without being shamed for it.

If your house doesn’t have enough room to make space for a “man cave” then make sure he has a say in how your home is decorated. Maybe there is room for one bookshelf where he can proudly display his collections. Give him time as well as space. Make sure he knows you support him in spending nights out with his guy friends (giving you time for cherished alone time or a night with your girls!).

Once in awhile, plan a date around his interests — a ball game, a monster car rally, a boxing match. Step into his world and let him fully express who he is as a man. Allow yourself to get turned on by his enthusiasm, even if it isn’t your thing to watch men pummel each other.

4. Own your pleasure.

Learning how to please your man in bed isn’t all about his pleasure — it is also about yours! Most men are generous by nature and want their women to be sexually satisfied. You can’t avoid taking responsibility for your own pleasure by focusing on him all the time.

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Take control of your own body and make sure he knows how to please you. Guys are highly trainable — if you can give yourself orgasms during masturbation, make sure he knows exactly how you like to be touched.

Confront any issues that are holding you back from enjoying oral pleasure and then invite him to go down more often. Guys love seeing women in the throes of pleasure, so it is up to you to discover how you are most able to get aroused and experience climaxes so you can then share that pleasure with him. A fully satisfying sex life is possible for everyone. You just need to take the time and energy to focus on your own pleasure. You are worth it!

5. Express your desire.

Start cultivating a relationship where you can freely express your desires to one another. Each relationship has a unique culture, and you are both responsible for creating the culture you want to experience.

Want more praise and gratitude? Start by telling him when you are grateful. A few kind words go a long way towards making him feel appreciated. Do you take one another for granted? Start giving him compliments and telling him why he is special to you.

All too often, couples fall into the rut of being domestic partners and parents together and forget to also be lovers and best friends. Think back to the early days of your relationship and how you treated one another, and then try to cultivate an atmosphere of love, gratitude, and praise.

Men (and women!) like to feel appreciated, special and understood. Make sure you are pleasing him out of bed and notice if it helps you create more heat in the bedroom.

How to make your husband happy

Recently, one spontaneous thought has hit my mind. One usual evening after exhausting working day my husband came back home in a bad mood. Every single detail irritated him – he was on the verge. What would you, ladies, do in such situation?

Obviously, I could start arguing or bothering him with stupid questions. But I counted back to ten, calmed down, and laid the table with his favourite dishes on it. Before he fell asleep, I made a massage and brought him a hot tea.

“What’s the moral of the story?” you will ask. And I will answer. Our inner family life and our relations with the husband are one of the most complicated things in the personal life. It requires work, patience, and resourcefulness. Happiness is the most working way to build a strong family and enjoy it.

In this post, I decided to discuss a topic that you might be afraid to raise independently. So, let’s find out how to make a husband happy!

Do You Really Know Your Partner?

How well do you know the person you share the bed with? The unhappy grumbling husband can be the result of yourself- or marriage-obsession. Of course, I will help you to brainstorm 9 things to do for your husband every year. But it won’t work if you neglect to add some personal tastes and preferences of your husband.

If you want to make your partner happy, you should think about his interests and respect them.

Keep the Flame Alive

Marriage is like a car that can’t go forever even if the road is flawless and the auto parts are of the best quality. You should know what sweet thing to say to your husband in the morning and how to spend unforgettable holidays. But there are a couple of things you should always keep in mind.

1. Be Romantic

How to make your husband happy

What was the last really romantic thing to do for your husband? Remember that sweet notes on the fridge or on the windshield can be a good beginning of the day.

Go on a picnic, take a bath with candles and scented candles, spend a relaxed evening doing massage with aroma oils, meet the dawn on the place you first kissed – your imagination shouldn’t see borders.

2. Set a Date

Are you ready to be a mysterious femme fatal that meets a handsome hubby in the restaurant? Why don’t you set a date with your man? But try to perform new roles.

3. Exercise

Surprised? Yes, your attractive appearance will definitely make your hubby happy! Seeing a matured, confident lady with toned legs is a dream of every man. Try stress-reducing exercises like yoga or Pilates.

4. Be Spontaneous

I bet you definitely know how your day will roughly look like. Believe me that your husband knows it too. Being spontaneous is something that will excite your spouse and bring a smile on his face!

5. Travel

How to make your husband happy

What can be better than a vacation? A spontaneous vacation in a good company (you two can be the best company too)! New impressions and fresh emotions – you both need it.

6. Football Game! Or Something else..

I’m sure that your husband has a passion. Let it be any kind of sport, art, musical band, namely any kind of existing activity.

Invite him to the football match or the concert of his favorite group. Make an offer that your hubby will definitely like and spend time together so he could get the biggest satisfaction.

7. Give a Gift

You don’t need a reason to give a gift, do you? A new perfume when the old one is almost done is a good idea. Fresh shirt or beautiful tie would be also suitable. If your hubby is a sweet tooth, you can give him a box of macaroons or cupcakes. USB flash drive with fresh music in his car would also trigger positive emotions. An inspiring book can be an awesome decision but read the book review first. By the way, you can check my The Art of the Deal book review.

8. Cook his Favourite Dishes

How to make your husband happy

Remember something like “the way to a man’s heart lies through his stomach”? It’s the most useful piece of advice I’ve ever got. And it’s true. It will 100% make him happy.

9. The Right to Skip Doing Chores

Ladies, believe me, if you use this one point, it will be enough to make your husband happy for some time. After a couple of days, when his lazy bones will get tired of the doing nothing, you can use one of the aforementioned ways to make your hubby happy!

10. Spend Time Together

Spending time together doesn’t mean burying in smartphones on the same couch. It’s about finding points of contact that would lead to an interesting leisure. Doesn’t mean what it will be. If you are crazy about table games, let it be table games. Karaoke? Amazing.

Nobody cares what brings you joy but if this thing exists, you are a happy couple.

11. Make DIY Things Together

DIY things aren’t boring. Doing DIY things isn’t only useful and rational. It can be a good way to get closer. When we were trying to make portable solar panels (I’ve written about them previously)… Well, it was kinda ridiculous experience.

12. Invite Family or Close Friends to Dinner…

… and watch your family movies – touching and hilarious.

Time spent in the good company with your husband would be a positive experience that will have a good influence on your relationship. Being together is good but integrating into the society is also important.

After 11 years of family life, I realised that making your husband happy is a job. It’s complicated but the salary is priceless.

And you know, ladies… Actually, the best way to make your husband happy is to care not only about your own life and interests. Take into account the feelings of your lover and try to think of him in the same direction.

Share the results of this cool experiment in the comments below!

How to make your husband happy

You probably want to know how to please your man in bed. But guys aren’t always so verbal about what they need.

Try these five strategies to please your man, sexually and otherwise. Once you get the ball rolling and start figuring out the keys on how to please your man in bed, you’ll start noticing he becomes more generous as a lover, and your relationship will become much more pleasurable as a whole.

1. Initiate, but read his cues.

Most men love when women initiate sex. But at the same time, be aware that he might not always be in the mood. So pay attention to his cues and when you sense he might be in the mood, seize the moment and initiate intimacy. It takes a lot of courage to initiate sex, but if your relationship is strong enough, you can get vulnerable and choose not to take it personally if he isn’t up for sex when you are.

Choose your timing wisely. If he is watching the big game, don’t try to get frisky while he is engrossed in his favorite sport. Instead, tease him a bit during commercial breaks — bring him a fresh beer during a commercial break, wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. Then go about your business and watch the clock.

As soon as the game is over, go for it. Did his team win? Help him celebrate. Did they lose? Ask him if there is anything you can do to cheer him up. Think about how you like sex initiated and then give him the same respect — pay attention to his moods and offer intimacy in a way that lets him know that you see and appreciate what is going on in his world.

2. Broaden the range of pleasure.

Intercourse is an intense sexual act — you have to really be in the mood for penetration to enjoy it. But master the art of using your hands to suspend your man in pure pleasure, and you’ll be able to satisfy him way more often. A lot of women scoff at handjobs because we aren’t very confident. We assume men know how to touch themselves way better than we’ll ever be able to, so we just avoid it.

Ladies, choose to master the art of manual stimulation and a whole new world of pleasure can open up! He’ll love being able to relax and receive your touch. If he tries to reach for you, playfully slap his hands away and say “Tonight it’s all about you, honey!”

Don’t just think about handjobs as a lame substitute for intercourse — your hands are the best sex tools ever invented and can give him sensations unavailable in any other sex act. Skilled handjobs are also the key to learning how to extend his pleasure so he can last longer in bed, as you create peaks and valleys of arousal and keep him suspended in pleasure.

3. Make room for the masculine.

There are a lot of different kinds of masculinity, but they all need room to thrive and be expressed. Give him room, both in your relationship and in your home, to express his masculinity. A lot of guys need permission to claim the space to be who they are. Give him the gift of acknowledging his need to be a dude once in awhile without being shamed for it.

If your house doesn’t have enough room to make space for a “man cave” then make sure he has a say in how your home is decorated. Maybe there is room for one bookshelf where he can proudly display his collections. Give him time as well as space. Make sure he knows you support him in spending nights out with his guy friends (giving you time for cherished alone time or a night with your girls!).

Once in awhile, plan a date around his interests — a ball game, a monster car rally, a boxing match. Step into his world and let him fully express who he is as a man. Allow yourself to get turned on by his enthusiasm, even if it isn’t your thing to watch men pummel each other.

4. Own your pleasure.

Learning how to please your man in bed isn’t all about his pleasure — it is also about yours! Most men are generous by nature and want their women to be sexually satisfied. You can’t avoid taking responsibility for your own pleasure by focusing on him all the time.

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Take control of your own body and make sure he knows how to please you. Guys are highly trainable — if you can give yourself orgasms during masturbation, make sure he knows exactly how you like to be touched.

Confront any issues that are holding you back from enjoying oral pleasure and then invite him to go down more often. Guys love seeing women in the throes of pleasure, so it is up to you to discover how you are most able to get aroused and experience climaxes so you can then share that pleasure with him. A fully satisfying sex life is possible for everyone. You just need to take the time and energy to focus on your own pleasure. You are worth it!

5. Express your desire.

Start cultivating a relationship where you can freely express your desires to one another. Each relationship has a unique culture, and you are both responsible for creating the culture you want to experience.

Want more praise and gratitude? Start by telling him when you are grateful. A few kind words go a long way towards making him feel appreciated. Do you take one another for granted? Start giving him compliments and telling him why he is special to you.

All too often, couples fall into the rut of being domestic partners and parents together and forget to also be lovers and best friends. Think back to the early days of your relationship and how you treated one another, and then try to cultivate an atmosphere of love, gratitude, and praise.

Men (and women!) like to feel appreciated, special and understood. Make sure you are pleasing him out of bed and notice if it helps you create more heat in the bedroom.

How to create an agenda

Howie Jones

Wednesday, February 27th, 2019

According to a study conducted by Verizon Business, meetings are the number one time waster in the workplace. That’s because most meetings are unorganized, have no purpose, and go so off-topic that the meetings runs longer than it has to.

The easiest way to solve this problem? Create a meeting agenda. This not only reduces time and resources, it also give speakers time to prepare, encourages participation, and keeps the meeting on-track. We’ve analyzed over 6 million meetings and found that meetings with an agenda on average end 8 minutes earlier than ones without an agenda. With the average person in 5 meetings a day, that’s a savings of 3.3 hours a week for every employee involved.

However, if you’ve never created a meeting agenda before you probably don’t know where exactly to start. Thankfully you can refer to this article since it will give you pointers on how to create an agenda that really works.

Prepare your agenda early.

Your meeting is scheduled for Wednesday at three pm. Do you think you should start working on the agenda Wednesday morning? I would hope not.

Instead of waiting until the last minute, start creating your agenda in advance. There’s no exact time frame here, but I would recommend at least three days in advance. This gives you plenty of time to create a professional document and make any changes based on feedback from your team.

Furthermore, when you have the agenda created in advance, you can send it out to those attending the meeting. This way they know exactly what to expect and can prepare accordingly.

As the wise Benjamin Franklin said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

Start with the basics.

When you sit down to start creating your agenda start with the basics, such as:

    • What time will the meeting start and end? This should be short as possible, ideally 20-30 minutes.
    • Who are the necessary participants? Invite as few people as possible.
    • Where will the meeting be located? If meeting off-site, think of a location that’s convenient and suits your needs. If it’s a virtual meeting, include dial-in information.

This gives you the foundation to build your agenda on. And, because this should only take a couple of minutes, it’s not a task that you makes you procrastinate. In fact, once you just get started you’ll notice how quickly you’ll complete your next meeting agenda.

Clearly define your meeting objective.

Now it’s time to actually create the meeting agenda. As you do this think about what the goal of the meeting needs to be. It should also focus on what needs to be discussed, as well as the desired outcomes.

For example, if you’re planning a brainstorming session, then your objective could be to have your team develop two potential ideas. Once the best idea has been chosen, the team develops a plan to turn the idea into a reality.

Seek input from attendees.

Want your meeting to be productive? Then you need to make sure that invitees are engaged. The easiest way to do this is by seeking input from them.

If you’re planning a team meeting, ask your team members to suggest agenda items. Make sure they also provide a reason why this item should be discussed. If you don’t include the item, make sure you explain your decision. You may also be able to discuss the item one-on-one with the person.

Prioritize agenda items.

As you outline the items that will be discussed, add them to the agenda in order of importance. This way the meeting won’t run overtime. To ensure that the meeting is short and concise, keep the agenda to around five topics.

I would also break these topics down into key points so that everyone can see the key points. This will create a more focused discussion during the meeting.

List agenda topics as questions.

It’s not uncommon for agenda to have topics items listed as random phrases. It could something like “client project development.” I’m sure everyone gets the jest, but what exactly about the client’s project development is being discussed? Your team will no doubt be curious about that.

Instead, ask agenda topics as questions. In this case, “What resources are needed for developing a project for a client?” It’s more specific and allows attendees to better prepare for the meeting.

Allow adequate time.

This is tricky. As a general rule, however, it’s often guided by the content. For example, you don’t need to spend 10 minutes on your introduction. It should be around two minutes. You should at least plan to spend 10 minutes on your most important topic.

Again, your meeting should be no longer than 30 minutes. If it’s more, you may want to trim things down. If the meeting concludes in 20-minutes, that’s perfectly fine — and I don’t think anyone will complain because who doesn’t like getting out of a meeting early?

Include other pertinent information.

This could be naming the individual responsible for taking minutes to asking attendees to read an attached document. This way everyone knows what to expect and what they’re responsibilities will be.

Specify how members should prepare for the meeting and who’s leading each topic.

You should share the agenda with those attending at least 24 hours in advance. This way they can read any background materials and prepare any thoughts, questions, or concerns for each item.

Additionally, include a list of the roles and responsibilities for everyone in attendance. This will ensure that the meeting runs as smoothly as possible.

Identify the next steps.

After you’ve discussed the key topics and have made decisions, plan a couple of minutes to discuss the next steps — these are usually targeted goals. This way your next meeting will already have a purpose — which means it will be easier to write the outcome and agenda the next time around.

By Xtensio (This post includes a free tool.)

Clearly defining a meeting agenda enables effective communication, promotes organization, and increases productivity. Use the meeting agenda before, during, and after your meetings. Below are guidelines and tips to create your own. Follow along with our free Meeting Agenda template.

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How to create an agenda

How to create an agenda

Meeting Agenda Template

How to create an agenda

Retrospective Meeting Agenda

How to create an agenda

Project Wrap Up Agenda

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Now it’s your turn.

Below are tips and tricks to filling in the Meeting Agenda.
Follow along on your own Meeting Agenda:

1. Define your meeting goals and expectations.

Before you begin, we encourage you to carefully consider what the goals of the meeting should be. What should the discussion revolve around? Which actions are of the highest priority? Answering these questions will help you more quickly arrange your agenda for maximum productivity. Maybe you’ll use your agenda to go over your fundraising summary from last quarter, or maybe you’ll discuss the next company press release, a new case study or a revamp to the company media kit. Use the text toolbar to organize information by varying font size, color, or text styles. Don’t forget that you can insert tables, images, links and videos to reference during the meeting.

Header
This section should reflect the letterhead of your company’s documents. Replace the placeholder with your company’s logo. You can leave the title as “Meeting Agenda” or be more descriptive with a title like “Kick-Off Meeting for Project X.” Then, set the day, month, and year that the meeting will take place. Don’t forget to change the background section color to match your company’s branding too!

Bonus Tip: Read more to find the Business Model Canvas explained and use the template capture your business plan in a lean one-page diagram and streamline planning, development, and execution across your business.

How to create an agenda

2. Prepare the meeting logistics.

Details
Here, you can specify the exact date and location. If your meeting is online, make sure to include call-in details for phone or video calls. You also have the option to specify what attendees should read or bring to the meeting. This will make it clear what attendees should be prepared to discuss during the meeting.

Attendees
This is pretty explanatory. Who is leading the meeting? Who is taking notes? Who are the other attendees?

Bonus Tips: Studies with Fortune 500 companies have identified three universal rules to a quality meeting:

  • All meetings must have a stated purpose or agenda.
  • Attendees should walk away with concrete next steps or action items.
  • The meeting should have an end time.

How to create an agenda

3. Organize your agenda into sections.

Old Business
Use this space to review what was discussed in previous meetings. This will give everyone context to the current meeting and a better sense of what’s to come. Are there any important a ction items or notes from the previous meeting that need particular attention? What’s the status of each of these items? Still pending? Needs review? Completed? Identify what’s needed to close any open items.

New Business
After reviewing old business, go over new business topics. What new items need to be discussed? Team members should be able to contribute updates to their individual projects and action items. Keep things organized by dividing major discussion topics by subtopics.

Action Items
This space will help you organize the projects that need to be reviewed, started, or finished. Reviewing action items will ensure that everyone in your team is on the same page. In addition, defining who is responsible for carrying out each action item will keep everyone accountable for completing the task.

Next Steps
What future items should everyone make note of? List out any additional discussion points that were not addressed in this meeting and new ones that should be discussed after action items are completed.

Advice: At Apple and Google run their meetings differently.

  • At Apple, every project component or task has a “DRI” or Directly Responsible Individual to encourage accountability.
  • Don’t be afraid to kill ideas. After Larry Page replaced Eric Schmidt as Google CEO, the company quickly killed its Buzz, Code Search, and Desktop products so it could focus more resources on less effort.

How to create an agenda

4. Include a section for additional notes.

Everyone should be taking notes during the meeting (or at least recording pertinent information that applies to him/her). If there’s a dedicated notetaker or secretary in charge of the minutes, this person should be taking detailed notes of everything discussed during the meeting. These notes will serve as a reference in case any questions arise after the meeting.

Last Tip: Don’t forget that there are many different types of meeting structures. Some startups and companies employ a daily stand-up meeting (also known as a “daily scrum”) where the whole team meets every day for a quick status update. These meetings require standing up to ensure that the meeting is short.

That’s a wrap!

Remember, this document is flexible and can adapt to your needs. You’re not bound to the template’s current structure. Continue to tweak and optimize your meeting structures and agenda template until you find the right fit by rearranging or adding elements. Whatever your use case, just make sure it’s organized, easy-to-follow, and keeps you on track!

Try any template for free. No account or credit card required.

How to create an agenda

When meetings veer off-track, participants arrive unprepared, and topics are irrelevant — these problems often arise due to poor agenda design.

Agendas are important because an effective one increases team productivity

An effective agenda increases the productivity of the overall meeting because it establishes expectations on what needs to occur before, during, and after a meeting. It helps get everyone on the same page on the most important topics and enables the team to quickly address key issues.

What should be included in the agenda?

As Stephen Covey writes in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, “Begin with the end in mind.” Agendas are lists of items that participants hope to accomplish at a meeting.

Agendas most often include:

  • Informational items – sharing out updates regarding a topic for the group. For example, a manager may provide an update on the year-end planning process.
  • Action items – items that you expect the group will want to review during the meeting. For example, performance against a specific time period or trajectory on a product launch.
  • Discussion topics – items that you want the group to provide feedback on. For example, collecting input on an upcoming commute policy change and questions that the team has about it.

In addition to this, they’ll often include specific details on how the meeting will be run. For example, agenda topics will often specify who will be presenting and for how long in order to establish expectations on who will be responsible for preparing the content and how much time they will have to present it.

Depending on the meeting, agendas can be distributed well in advance of a meeting or shared at the start of the meeting. It establishes the goal of the meeting and ensures everyone is on the same page on what you’d like to accomplish in that timeframe.

Agendas can be very short or very long

How formal should your agenda be? Often, people don’t feel like they have the time to prepare for a meeting much less write a full formal meeting agenda. When the stakes are high or the situation is very formal, it may make sense to include a formal pre-distributed agenda as well as capture meeting minutes. However, the pragmatic approach is to make agendas as simple as possible to meet the task at hand.

Informal Agenda Example

1) Intro (10 minutes – everyone)
2) Review quarter-to-date sales metrics (10 minutes)*
3) Discuss and approve proposal for next quarter’s sales goals (5 minutes)*
4) Review upcoming marketing campaign plan (15 minutes)

*See attached documents for quarterly actual and forecasted metrics.

Formal Agenda Example

1. Standing items – items that are always on the agenda of a regular meeting

– Take attendance
– Approve prior meeting’s minutes
– Team status updates
– Etc.

2. Last Meeting’s Business – discuss topics that were not completed in a previous meeting or action items that are due

– Stephanie – sales quota update (10 minutes)
– David – VP Sales hiring pipeline (5 minutes)

3. New Business – new topics for this week’s meeting

– Sam – Discuss facilities move (20 minutes)
– Randy – Employee engagement survey results (30 minutes)

4. Housekeeping – standing items at the conclusion of the meeting

– Clyde – Announcements
– Review of action items
– Date of the next meeting
– Etc.

Notejoy is a more effective way to manage your meetings

Running effective and productive meetings is more than just establishing a great template – it’s about managing the communication of information around the meeting. Is everyone on the same page about what the meeting’s topics and goals are? Have decisions been shared with everyone who needs to know? If you missed the meeting, how can you catch up on the details? Ensuring that the right people have access to information both in the meeting room and after is vital to operating a successful organization.

Notejoy is an effective solution for teams that want to manage their meeting agendas and notes to get and stay on the same page. It fundamentally changes the way that work is done.

How to create an agenda

Managing meetings in Notejoy is different for three reasons:

Real-Time Collaboration – As a cloud-based solution, Notejoy allows you to share your meeting agenda in advance with internal and external collaborators. These collaborators can view, discuss, and comment on meeting agendas as well as view the latest version.

Always in Sync – Rather than managing different versions of agendas or multiple threads of conversation, Notejoy allows the entire team to always see agendas including changes and discussions at the same time.

Improved Search and Visibility – With meeting notes and discussion comments documented directly in the agenda, teams can keep details in context and maintain one system of record for everything that happened. Manage who has access to what information, and enable team members old and new to search across past and current meeting content.

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How to create an agenda

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Publish custom apps for your event in the Apple and Google Play stores featuring your logo, event details and branding. Attendees can download the apps to access everything they need during the event on their mobile device.

How to create an agenda

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For iOS and Android, you can now access your events in the super quick Sched App. Your event information will be available offline once it’s loaded.

How to create an agenda

Personalized Attendee Experience

Increase engagement before, during, and after your event. Attendees can create a profile, find their friends, bookmark their favorite sessions, and sync with their personal calendars. You can send them important messages and collect feedback right through Sched.

How to create an agenda

Insightful Attendance Management

Manage session reservations with limited capacities and discover what sessions are most popular. Make sure attendees are in the right place at the right time with our check-in app.

How to create an agenda

Empower your speakers

Speakers can manage their own profile, edit their session descriptions, and upload presentation files directly to Sched. Give them the ability to make changes themselves and save yourself from all of the back-and-forth emails.

How to create an agenda

Reports

Discover which sessions will be the most popular leading up to the event. Once your event is underway, collect valuable feedback from your attendees and export all of your data after your event.

How to create an agenda

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  • How to create an agenda

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Virtual events are the new normal. Sched provides a platform to host your virtual event and provide your attendees with access to your live and recorded content.

How to create an agenda

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Building the schedule for a professional development day for your district or flex day for the students? Sched is great for schools and we :heart: teachers!

How to create an agenda

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Whether you’re running an all day conference call for a small team, or an annual conference for a global organization, your attendees will expect an agenda. Build a flexible agenda with Sched.

How to create an agenda

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Hundreds of artists, performers, speakers, exhibitors, sponsors. Thousands of attendees. A schedule that can change at any time, for any reason. Sched was made for festivals.

How to create an agenda

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Communities, professional organizations, and political parties push ideas forward. Personalized agendas and multi-track schedule management in Sched help you maximize your time together.

Kayla Sloan

Wednesday, November 29th, 2017

Believe it or not, there are many managers who struggle with becoming a manager. One reason I find is because they have a hard time handling all of the duties a manager must constantly juggle. They get overwhelmed and shut down. Another is a lack of training.

If you are a new manager or leader who hasn’t had adequate training you may have a difficult time running meetings. This can result in your staff lacking confidence and loyalty in you.

This problem is not easily undone if you continue to publicly display your week areas through meetings that are poorly run.

1. Reduces Wasted Time and Resources

As a manager, you know there are real reasons you need to hold regular and impromptu meetings. You likely have announcements to make regarding your business or problems to go over and correct.

Everyone can direct their attention to the matters at hand when an agenda is created. Attendees have a written list of what is to be achieved by the meeting. Furthermore, it allows them to bring up relevant issues.

Should anyone need to leave the meeting early, having an agenda helps them know what is going to be discussed. If they need to catch up with you later to fill in the blanks, they have a general idea of what was talked about.

Was someone late to the meeting? If so, they now know what they didn’t hear because it’s on the agenda. In addition, you don’t have to waste everyone else’s time getting them up to speed on what has already been settled.

2. Allows Other Speakers to Prepare

Having an agenda is courteous to other guests you may have included in the meeting. It can also help invited speakers prepare for when and what they will talk about.

3. Encourages Participation

With a clear outline of what is going to be talked about, employees will feel freer to participate. Include time for questions and answers about what was discussed.

Also, add a line item to the agenda for staff members to bring up issues they feel are important. When employees are valued and empowered they are more loyal and productive.

4. Keeps You on Track

Have you ever gotten off topic in a discussion? If you are like the majority of people you said yes to this question which means you need a meeting agenda.

It is far easier to stop wasting time, stay focused, and get back on track when you have the discussion items in front of you to reference.

5. Ensures Important Topics are Covered

You can cut down on the number of meetings everyone attends by ensuring all the important topics were covered. The best way to do this is through an agenda.

When you are in management, meetings are an important and necessary part of your work. Being able to run a meeting, therefore, is a must. Get more out of your meetings by creating an agenda for the next one.

Meeting agendas should provide the necessary structure for an informative gathering that will leave attendees with clear next steps. In order to achieve this, it’s essential to know how to create an effective meeting agenda. The best agendas will increase productivity, keep topics flowing, and help keep tabs on productivity and progress.

Once you’ve created your best meeting agenda template to aid you in preparing for current and future meetings, you’ll be on your way to greater success. Everyone works better when there are clear expectations and goals outlined. Using a meeting tool like Docket can streamline the process by giving you everything you need to have a smooth meeting from start to finish.

What is the purpose of an agenda?

The purpose of an agenda is to keep attendees on track and help them prepare for the meeting. If you call a meeting with only a general topic, it can be difficult for attendees to know what they need to bring, if there’s anything they need to present, and what they will be taking away from it. You can show your team how to have a great staff meeting by providing a proper agenda. Docket provides many agenda examples for staff meetings to 1 on 1 meetings, as well as sales meetings and agile meetings. An agenda items example, team meeting agenda examples, weekly operations meeting agenda template, or staff meeting agenda template can be useful in inspiring what topics would apply to your team, as there are several types of meetings and many reasons why you might be meeting.

How to create an agenda

Clearly stated goals and objectives are necessary to get the best work out of your team. When unsure of where to start when creating an agenda, you can search for suggestions like a business meeting agenda sample, an example of an agenda for a committee meeting, a first team meeting agenda, a meeting agenda template PDF, a team meeting agenda template doc, a team meeting agenda template Powerpoint, weekly meeting agenda template Word, or a formal meeting agenda template or build them as you decide what is most important to cover in these types of meetings. Each meeting type serves its own purpose, and it’s always helpful to be able to see examples of agendas so you can make the best decisions for your staff.

The benefits of creating agenda templates

Creating agenda templates will help the meeting organizer to more effectively fill in the blanks of what needs to be accomplished. Starting from scratch every time there is a new meeting is tedious and unnecessary when you can simply pull up your template each time and get right to business. Agenda templates do not have to be complex; you can create a simple meeting agenda or casual meeting agenda template that can be just as effective. The point is to keep everyone focused and on track, and sometimes that can best be accomplished with just a few lines of details.

While a meeting agenda template Google Doc can be an effective way to save and share templates, Docket offers a meeting agenda template doc to suit many types of meeting, all in one place. Agenda writing examples are important to reference if you have never used an agenda. Docket provides examples that will guide you whether you are creating an agenda with managers meeting agenda topics, an all staff meeting agenda, or a team meeting agenda sample. If your teams have weekly meetings, a template for weekly meeting agenda ideas will be essential to keeping everyone organized.

How to create team meeting templates

Team meeting templates can be created in several ways. Docket provides many meeting agenda examples to set you up for success. Meeting agenda template Google Docs, meeting agenda sample PDFs, and meeting agenda template Word documents also can help give you ideas for how to set up your templates. The most effective meeting agenda template doc will contain thoughtful points that will help staff hone in on the purpose of each meeting quickly and accurately. You could set up a creative meeting agenda template that will encourage a specific outcome, or a more simple meeting agenda template doc that leaves room for either a to-the-point discussion or a more open format of discussion. Creating a weekly team meeting agenda template will help teammates prepare and stay on pace during meetings. It also allows staff the opportunity to address any concerns they may have so the team can work through it.

How to create an agenda

A simple, modern meeting agenda could list the purpose of the meeting and what each attendee is contributing. Just because an agenda is simple doesn’t make it any less effective. Sometimes all the team will need is a brief meeting to touch on where everyone is at with a project and what they may need to move forward.

How to create formal meeting templates

Formal meetings follow a specific structure and may take place in a boardroom setting. In Docket you can search for a formal meeting agenda template doc or formal meeting agenda template sample. These templates normally include items like date, time, facilitator name, attendee names, a call to order, and approval of the last meeting’s minutes before getting to the meat of the subjects.

Agendas are essential for formal meetings because they help attendees keep track of what was discussed, what decisions were made, and what needs to be researched and planned for future meetings. A tool like Docket will keep attendees organized and allow for note taking and recapping important topics.

About the Author

How to create an agenda

Heather directs product management and content marketing initiatives for Docket. She enjoys leading cross-functional teams to work together on vision, strategy, and implementing solutions that help people work and live better. When she isn’t helping rid the world of wasteful meetings with Docket, Heather likes to run, take violin lessons with her son, and spend time with her family.

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How to create an agenda
For many of us in the workplace, one on one meetings are a necessary evil to be avoided at all costs.

“Awkward.” “Disorganized.” “Pointless.” 1:1s produce countless negative feelings for even the most enthusiastic employees. Having a solid, standard, and well-planned agenda can prevent that negativity – and make your one on one meeting productive and worthwhile.

What is a one on one meeting?

A 1:1 meeting is a regular dedicated sit-down between a manager and employee. One on one meetings serve to connect employees with management, where they can express their feelings, overcome obstacles, plan for the future, and ask for advice.

Why you need 1:1 meetings

Plenty of meetings in the workplace are actually time-wasters. How many times have you seen a meme that reads, “I survived another meeting that should have been an email?” The feeling is ubiquitous across all types of businesses. Often, even a team check in can be seen as pointless.

But what makes this the common sentiment? It may just be that your team member feels isolated or unheard.

How to create an agenda

That’s why 1:1 meetings are important for employees and managers alike. In a 1:1, managers can make sure employees are placing their focus where it needs to be.

These meetings give a manager an opportunity to guide an employee on their professional goals to forge a stronger bond and a happy workplace. To reap this benefit, you must plan an efficient meeting by building a well-designed meeting agenda.

How to build 1:1 meeting agenda

Every one-on-one meeting should include:

  • Feedback
  • Coaching
  • Notes taken since the last meeting

Your one on one meeting agenda should be shared prior to the meeting, giving both the manager and employee a chance to include their own notes and questions.

Looking to optimize the time spent in your meeting? Add time blocking to your agenda to make sure your meeting stays on track and doesn’t run over. And encourage your team members to take a no-meeting day afterward so they can work uninterrupted.

Here’s a one on one meeting template to build your next agenda:

1:1 agenda template

Want a template to set up an agenda for your own one on one meetings? We’ve put one together—you can find it here:

How do you structure your 1:1 meetings? Tweet at us @flock with your top suggestions.

By Wayne Turmel

Updated on: March 1, 2011 / 2:10 PM / MoneyWatch

How to create an agendaYou know all the complaints about meetings, particularly online. All together now. too long, off topic, boring, no leadership. the list is endless. Here’s the thing: it’s largely avoidable, and we know it. The one factor in almost all successful meetings is a good agenda. Here are some guidelines for creating an agenda that not only works–there’s a pretty good chance you’ll actually use it.

A good agenda is not brain surgery, so why don’t we do use them more often? Usually it’s because it takes time to create and send them and we’re always in a rush. By creating a template, either online or in your email platform, you can pause, breathe, fill in the blanks, and give you and your team a fighting chance at success (or at least lessening the pain and misery).

What goes into a good agenda? It should answer the questions your attendees need to know in order to make the best use of your time together:

Meeting logistics: The agenda should be the one place people know to reference for all the answers to their questions. Don’t assume because you use the same information all the time that they’ll automatically know it.

  • What time it’s going to start (and finish). If your system allows you to easily enter this into people’s calendars, take advantage of that and reduce the possible excuses for arriving late and leaving early.
  • How will you meet? If it’s a web meeting, include ALL relevant information with live links (url for the meeting, audio information). Again, eliminate any possible questions by providing the information up front. (Remember, in a template you can just leave the information that doesn’t change and update the stuff that does instead of reinventing the wheel every time).
  • Online meetings should contain a notice to log on a few minutes early, and how to test their system for compatibility. Most web platforms build this in to their invitations automatically. Insist people actually do it.

Purpose of the meeting with desired outcomes: People cannot be prepared to participate fully if they don’t know what’s going to be covered. They’ll also be less paranoid, which can only be a good thing. If they are expected to make a decision they should know that so they’re in the right frame of mind. If it’s a brainstorming session, they need to know they’ll be called on for input. Tell them what’s on the table–and what’s not on the agenda so don’t bother bringing it up– if you want them to comply.

Attendees and their roles: Who is going to be on the meeting? What will they be doing? Give people fair notice and then hold them accountable. Include email addresses, if it’s appropriate, so that people can provide input or answer questions in advance of the session. This will save time spent on minor issues.

What they need to read/prepare/do in advance and how to find and share that information: This is an area where meeting leaders are guilty of laziness and it bites them in terms of getting meetings started well and wasting too much time. Don’t wait til the meeting starts to email that spreadsheet- and don’t baby people who email you ten minutes before the meeting starts asking for it (because they either deleted it or saved it somewhere and can’t remember where). Have live links to all documents on the shared file site or intranet and insist people get those documents for themselves. Check to make sure they have them before the meeting starts so you don’t kill momentum by waiting til people look for them.

Trending News

If this all seems too simple, ask yourself what the most common meeting problems are. People arriving late, not knowing (or caring) what the meeting is designed to achieve, not being prepared to get down to business, having the wrong people in the meeting to achieve your outcomes, and not being held accountable for meeting success.

Eliminating the variables is important. So’s holding people accountable. The best way to do that is to slow down, use a tool like this, and make it part of every meeting so that it’s a seamless part of your leadership process.

Read more:

First published on March 2, 2011 / 6:45 AM

© 2011 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved.

How to delete a google maps pin on android

I have several Google accounts in my phone.

I want to use only ONE of those with Google Maps.

I must have accidentally used another one a few times, and now I keep getting notifications about it, should I do some more reviews and whatever.

I’ve tried time and again and never managed to come any close to disabling Maps for some specific accounts without removing the account altogether from the phone…

3 Answers 3

I had the same problem and this is what I did.

Open google maps on your phone.

Slide right to see the menu.

On the top you will see both accounts

Choose the account you don’t want to use and go to Notifications and turn everything off

Then go to sign out. This will sign out all accounts.

Then go to sign in and sing in only the account you want to use.

How to delete a google maps pin on android

You can follow the steps below they might help:

1.Open your phone’s Settings app. 2.Tap Accounts. If you don’t see “Accounts,” tap Users & accounts. 3.Tap the account you want to remove And then Remove account. 4.If this is the only Google Account on the phone, you’ll need to enter your phone’s pattern, PIN, or password for security.

Important: Settings can vary by phone. For more info, contact your device manufacturer.

Even I’ve multiple accounts logged-in on my phone. You can follow this Google’s guide to disable the location history for a particular account on all devices or on a specific devices.

Turn Location History on or off You can turn off Location History for your account at any time. If you use a work or school account, your administrator needs to make this setting available for you. If they do, you’ll be able to use Location History as any other user.

Go to the “Location History” section of your Google Account. Choose whether your account or your devices can report Location History to Google. Your account and all devices: At the top, turn Location History on or off. Only a certain device: Under “This device” or “Devices on this account,” turn the device on or off.

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We’re all tracked more than we like in today’s digital world. Google, Facebook and most other websites out there keep track of your digital habits, your shopping behavior and, yes, your location.

There are ways to protect yourself. You can stop browser cookies that follow you around the web, turn off ad recommendations and tell your streaming services to butt out. Tap or click for all the smart steps you need.

Don’t forget about your location. You can easily delete location data on your Android device. Follow these steps to delete it right now, and breathe easy knowing only you know where you are.

Deleting location history on the Google Maps app

Google Maps is handy, but you might not love the idea of every place you go being tracked by the tech giant. Want to switch it up? You can try a privacy-focused alternative to Google Maps. If you don’t want to part with it, though, here’s how to delete your location history.

  • Open the Google Maps app. Make sure you’re signed in, and tap your profile picture.
  • Choose Settings >Maps history.
  • From here, you can scroll down to delete places you’d navigated to one by one.

You can also delete months or even years of activity in one go. From the Maps history page:

  • You’ll see a search bar near the top. Hit the three dots and choose Delete activity by.
  • You can choose from the last hour, last day, always or a custom range.
  • Choose your preference, and confirm.

Note: If you delete your history, any locations you’ve saved or shared with others won’t be deleted.

From this screen you can also turn on auto-delete for your Google web and app activity. You can tell Google to automatically delete activity older than three months, 18 months or 36 months.

How to turn off location data in the Chrome app

Knowing you can’t be tracked in Google Maps is nice, but you can go further. You may have several Google-owned apps, and turning off location data in one of them doesn’t spread to all platforms. Here’s how you can turn off location data in Chrome.

On your Android Phone:

  • Open the Chrome app.
  • On the right side of the screen, tap the three-dot menu for more options.
  • Choose Settings >Site settings.
  • Tap Location.
  • Here you can toggle your location off.
  • From this screen, you can also choose to allow

On your Chromebook:

  • Open Chrome on your desktop.
  • Click the three-dot menu in the upper right.
  • On the right-hand side, choose P rivacy and security .
  • Choose Site settings >Location.
  • Enable Ask before accessing.

N avigation apps are one of the most useful features of smartphones, and Google Maps is widely considered the cream of the crop — at least among free options. But chances are there are some features tucked away in Google Maps that you don’t know about. They could make mapping out your next vacation easier, or even improve your daily commute.

Here are ten tips and tricks to help you get the most out of Google Maps on iPhone and Android:

Create Offline Maps

If you want to be able to conserve your mobile data or check out a map when you can’t access the Internet, Google lets you save maps to be viewed offline. Simply zoom the map to the level of detail you want, then write OK Maps in the search field to save the map (you can also tap the microphone icon by the search bar and say “OK Maps”).

Alternatively, you can search for a specific location, select it to bring up the location’s information card, then click the menu icon in the top-right corner to bring up the “save offline map” option.

Launch Navigation Mode Faster

Turn-by-turn directions are one of Google Maps’ most helpful features. Usually it takes a few button presses to launch the feature, but you can start it on Android immediately by holding down the blue transportation icon in the bottom left corner of the app. The icon appears by default as a person, a car, a train or a bicycle depending on the mode of transportation Google thinks is most appropriate.

Zoom in With One Hand

Pinch-and-zoom is the typical way to hone in on a location with Maps, but if you’ve only got one hand free you can double tap the screen to zoom in quickly. If you hold your finger on the screen after the second tap, you can swipe up or down to smoothly zoom in or out.

Next time you’re desperate to find an ATM, click the Google Maps search bar (make sure the field is blank) and press the ATMs button at the bottom of the screen. Maps will show the ATMs that are near your current location. You’ll find gas stations, grocery stores, pharmacies, car washes and other businesses in the same menu of options.

Save a Cool Location to Remember It Later

Next time you discover a cool new bar, search for the location on Google Maps and click “Save” on the business’s information card. Saved places appear as starred locations on your maps and can be accessed by selecting “Your Places” from the Google Maps menu.

Avoid Highways and Tolls

If you’re trying to avoid toll roads, select “Options” after you’ve pulled up driving directions to a location. You can check three boxes to avoid toll roads, highways or ferries.

Check Train and Bus Schedules

There are many dedicated apps for tracking public transit schedules, but often Google Maps is all you need. Ask for directions to a given location and Maps will automatically queue up a variety of public transit options, including the scheduled departure times for different buses and trains. You can also press bus, train or subway icons on the map itself to view departure and arrival times.

Share a Location With Friends

If you’re in a place devoid of streets and easy landmarks, like a large park, it can be hard to meet up with friends. Google Maps lets you easily drop a pin on any location and then share that location with friends. Simply press the spot on the map where you want the pin to appear, press the pin itself, then press the “share” button. The link to the spot can be sent via text message, email or social media.

Plan a Multi-Stop Route

If you’re headed on a road trip, you can use the desktop version of Google Maps to get directions for multiple stops on a single route. Click the search field box in the top left corner of the screen, then click “Directions.” After you input the first location you want to travel to, a plus sign will appear below the last destination. Click the sign to input the next location on your trip. When you’re done, Maps will calculate the total mileage of the trip and offer step-by-step directions that are easy to print.

Delete Your Maps History

Google uses a feature called Location History to track the track the movements of Android users who are logged into their Google accounts. You can see your own Location History map here. If you didn’t know you had the feature enabled, you might find it to be a useful tool to retrace the steps of your last wild night out — or you might suddenly feel a bit like Will Smith in Enemy of the State.

To disable Location History tracking, you can navigate the labyrinthine menus of your Android device (I found the Location History option by going to Settings, then Location, then Google Location Reporting on my Motorola Moto X running Android L) or by visiting Google’s Account History website, which lets you toggle various data gathering services on or off.

Learn how to remove locations from Google Maps and Google Now with the simple and straight method that will remove all the searched locations in your app. So follow the tutorial to proceed.

[dropcap]G[/dropcap]oogle Now is the extremely powerful assistant for the Android devices, and this assistant makes sure to the users that they get the amazing stuff like sports updates, news, etc. all on their devices. Google now works intelligently with the Google Maps to determine your daily locations to specify you and help you up about the location info, distance etc. While the Google Now integrates with the Google Maps to judge your daily spots of working it also relatively combines all that data to help you out by suggesting you the area information for that locations so that you could know more about that place without even spending a lot in searching about that. This would then regularly suggest you the areal information for the places you mostly visit, but this could not be required sometimes by the users so they would like to remove such suggestions. To remove the locations from the Google Now by the Google Maps integration, you would have to follow some method. Here in this article, we have stated that particular method, just go and read about that.

How to Remove Locations from Google Maps and Google Now

The method is quite simple and you just need to follow some simple step by step guide discussed below to proceed.

1. Firstly, check out whether your Google Maps on your device is up-to-date or not and if it is not then you should update it. After that, you have to open it on your device and get on to the another step for the method.

2. Inside the Google Maps tab on the left sidebar, you will find the menu is revealed as soon. Check for the option Your places and click on it. This option will open the locations that have been labeled by the Google Maps. The home and the work location places of yours would be placed at the first in the list most probably if it have been recognized previously.

3. Now using the simple techniques and app options, you could easily delete all those labeled places and these won’t be there after that.

4. You could also remove the function of the Google Maps for some places or the Locations being tracked for the number of times you visited them. To do that, just scroll over to the Saved to see all the places you have visited or started and then tap on the three dot icon and choose the option Remove star.

How to delete a google maps pin on android remove-locations-from-google-maps-and-google-now2

5. If you wish that the travel times for any places should not be traced and hence be listed in your Google Maps data, you could set that up by tapping on the sidebar inside Google Maps, choosing the Settings and then Your Feed. Here disable the “Commute and time to Leave“. That’s it!

This was all about the method by which the location could be removed from the Google Now that has been integrated with the Google Maps working together with the Google Now assistant. You have got all the information regarding the method, and essentially you would be able to run the method. So let’s go and utilize the method and hence get the result.

How to delete a google maps pin on android

  • You can drop a pin in Google Maps and then save that location or navigate to it.
  • Dropping a pin is convenient if you don’t know the address you’re at, don’t want to look up the exact address, or if a specific location has no address.
  • Dropping a pin on the map is as simple as clicking (on a computer) or tapping (on a phone).

Google Maps has made it so easy to navigate that it has become an indispensable tool for getting around town (and has been amusingly name checked in pop culture ).

Finding almost any address is as easy as typing it into the search box, but there are times when that won’t quite work.

If the location you’re trying to go to doesn’t have an address or the address is wrong, you might want to drop a pin on the map instead. Likewise, if you don’t know the exact address, it might be fine to just drop a pin in the general vicinity.

That’s a straightforward process on both a desktop computer and your mobile device.

Drop a pin on your iPhone or Android phone

The process for dropping a pin on the Google Maps mobile app is the same no matter which phone you use.

1. Open the Google Maps app.

2. Find the location on the map where you want to drop the pin, and zoom in as far as you need to see it clearly.

3. Tap and hold the spot where you want to drop a pin until you see the pin appear under your finger.

Now you can use the pin. For example, you can tap “Directions” to get directions from your current location to the dropped pin.

If you prefer, you can save this pin for later. To do that, tap “Label” from the oval options on the pin and give it a name. Afterwards, you’ll always be able to find it in Your Places. (Note that the Android and iPhone versions of Google Maps work slightly differently. Both apps let you save and label dropped pins, but to see the Label button on Android, tap the info box at the bottom of the screen to see all of your options.)

Drop a pin on your desktop

1. Open Google Maps on your computer.

2. Zoom and pan around the map until you find the location you want to drop the pin.

3. Click the spot where you want to drop the pin. You should see a small grey pin appear and an info box will appear at the bottom of the screen.

Now it’s time to use the pin. If you click the blue Navigate icon in the info box, Google Maps will open the navigation page. You can enter the starting location and get driving directions. Alternately, you can click anywhere else in the info box to see a pane appear with more information about the location you selected. From here, you can click the Save icon to add this location to Your Places, so you can quickly navigate to it in the future.

Remember that you can only drop one pin at a time in Google Maps; if you click or tap a second time, the new pin replaces the old one. And in order to save a dropped pin to Your Places, you need to be signed in to your Google account.

January 22, 2016

How to delete a google maps pin on android

Have you ever crossed with a situation in your life when you searched for an address on Google Maps in urgency and after couple weeks you have to go there and you can’t seem to find the full address anywhere much less on Google Maps. Well I had this situation a week ago and at first, I couldn’t figure out what is the best way to find that address on the Maps application, but now I do. So, if you have ever stuck in such situation while searching for an address then let me assure you it isn’t as hard of a task.

Turns out whatever you do in the world of Google is saved and you can definitely go back to dig what it is that you searched, say a month ago, even a year, I guess so. Tapping into that feature on the Google Maps application we would be guiding you how you can Find that address and then even delete if you don’t like Google creeping up on you. Follow the simple instructions given below and you’ll fulfill the purpose of stumbling upon this guide.

Note: Only you and Google can access the Maps history of your account, which retrospectively is a good thing. Also, make sure you’re signed in to your Google account where you think you might have searched.

Find the Maps History

  • Step 1: The simplest way to find Google Search history for that address is you directly go to Google Maps App on your Android Smartphone.
  • Step 2: Now tap on the menu option located on the top left side of the app home screen.

How to delete a google maps pin on android How to delete a google maps pin on android

How to delete a google maps pin on android How to delete a google maps pin on android

It can be totally possible that you might have searched for the address while you were not signed in and that may be the reason for that search not getting logged into your search Archives. Now don’t get upset here, it happens.

Delete the Maps History

  • Step 1: Deleting the maps history is quite easy as well. Don’t close the window which was opened when you were on Step 5 of above procedure. Tap on the cross icon in front of the address you want to remove.
  • Step 2: Now a window will pop asking whether you want to cancel or delete the address.

How to delete a google maps pin on android How to delete a google maps pin on android

Now you know how to find and delete the Google Maps history, so as you see all the data is there, you just had to ask the right question and follow the steps. It’s not a hard task. By the way all your data is private, no one can search for it unless you have given them your Google credentials. I hope this guide served you well. There is few more Google Maps guide if you’re interested in mastering the Maps application. Following are few of them.

The latest version of Google Maps for Android lets you name unnamed spots and edit the names of already named places.

The latest update to Google Maps for Android give you a greater ability to customize your surroundings. You can name an unidentified spot on a map such as a particularly good spot for sledding in your neighborhood park. In addition, you can edit places that already have a name.

To give a unnamed spot a name, search for an address or drop a pin on the map. Tap the pin, then tap the triple-dot button in the upper-right corner and select Edit name. Your place will now have a name on your map — and only your map; the name is private and visible — and searchable — only to you.

How to delete a google maps pin on androidScreenshot by Matt Elliott/CNET

You can also use the same Edit name button for places with existing names. Your custom name will push the official name of the place to parenthesis.

You can delete or further edit your privately named places by tapping the hamburger button in the upper-left corner of Google Maps and selecting Your Places, where you’ll see a list of your named places.

Screenshot by Matt Elliott/CNEt

Elsewhere in Google Maps, you can learn how to stop Google from tracking you with the new Your Timeline feature.

Jacob Kleinman

How to delete a google maps pin on android

Google and Android are typically a package deal. Even if Samsung or Sony makes your phone, you’ll still find it loaded with Google Maps, Gmail, Chrome, YouTube, and all the other apps that makes up Google Play Services. But it’s possible to totally “de-Google” your Android device – strange as that sentence is to type – though it’s not exactly easy.

Developer Martin Pitt set out to do just that, transforming his old Nexus 4 into a Google-free smartphone. He outlines the entire process in a recent blog post, which involves wiping the device, installing a new Android-based operating system, and finding third-party alternatives to all of Google’s apps.

Though this doesn’t sound too difficult on paper, even Pitt admits that the process isn’t for everyone:

Setting up such a “Google free” phone requires a significant amount of time, dedication, and skill (not to mention a personal server), definitively far beyond to what I’d trust my mother to comprehend. But it’s reassuring to know that, if push comes to shove, it’s definitively still possible…

Saying goodbye to Google on your Android device

If Pitt’s warnings don’t deter you, the first thing you’ll need to do to ditch Google on your device is to root it and install LineageOS (a free, open-source operating system built on Android). From there, Pitt recommends using F-Droid (a free alternative to Google Play) to download all the other apps you’ll need to check your email (not Gmail, obviously), chat with friends, surf the web, watch YouTube videos, and look up driving directions.

This may sound like a lot of work, but if you’re worried that Google might be spying on you (and you don’t trust Apple, either) taking some time to pull Google off your device is a decent option. At the very least, setting up a new, de-Googled smartphone is a great way to get some extra life out of an older Android device that you don’t use much anymore, and a fun way to learn more about the nitty-gritty of the Android OS.

How to grout wall tile

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Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years are bearing down on you. Family is coming over. What about that cracked and crumbling grout in your bathroom or on your kitchen backsplash?

No worries, I’m here to save the day for you! You can have great looking grout in just a few hours if you don’t have too much to do. Let’s get started now.

Degree of Difficulty:

Step One: Gather the following tools. You’ll need a hard rubber float made especially for applying ceramic tile grout. You can find these at hardware stores, big box home centers and at Amazon.com. Get a special grout sponge while you’re at it. These sponges have rounded corners and edges. My favorite one measures about 7 x 5 x 2 inches. Do NOT use a sponge that has sharp 90-degree edges or corners.

Step Two: Purchase a bag of wall grout that matches the color of your existing grout. If your grout is dirty, clean it first and allow it to dry so you know it’s true color. Wall grout is different than sanded floor grout. Wall grout is made for grout joints that are 1/8 of an inch or LESS in width. Most wall tile has grout joints that measure about 1/16th of an inch. Wall grout is just a powder with no silica sand particles in it.

Step Three: You need to remove any crumbling or loose grout. You can use a flat-bladed screwdriver and a hammer if you need to. Be very careful you don’t chip or scratch the tile. You can use small power rotary tools that have bits that are made to remove grout. Once again, practice using this tool in an out-of-the-way location so you get comfortable with it.

Step Four: Once all the bad grout is removed, use a vacuum or brush to remove any small particles or dust. It’s time to mix the grout.

Step Five: Using a clean bucket, pour about a cup of the wall grout powder into the bucket. Add clean cool or cold water. Add it slowly and stir the water into the grout until the consistency of the grout is that of warm cake icing. You don’t want the grout to be so thin that it pours or flows easily. If you add too much water, the grout will crack and crumble and all your work will be wasted.

Step Six: Dip the hard-rubber float into some water and shake it off. Use a wide putty knife and scoop some grout from the bucket and put it on the wall tile where you’re grouting. Put on about one-half cup or so.

Step Seven: Hold the rubber float at a 30-degree angle to the surface of the tile and push the grout ahead of it much like a bulldozer pushes soil. Cross the grout joints at a 45-degree angle so the edge of the rubber float does not drop down into the recessed grout line joints. Push hard enough so virtually no grout is left on the surface of the tile.

Step Eight: Wait about ten minutes. Dip the sponge in clear water and saturate it with water. Squeeze ALL of the water out of the sponge. Lightly wipe the sponge across the tile to remove any grout paste. Flip the sponge over to reveal a clean surface and wipe again. Each stroke will make the grout joints look better and better. Rinse the sponge frequently and squeeze it removing all water.

Step Nine: When the grout joints look quite good, to get them to match the existing grout, try putting the grout sponge on a narrow edge and slide it back and forth along the grout joint until the grout profile and width matches your existing grout joints.

Step Ten: After an hour, use clean water and the grout sponge to wipe down the tile to remove all grout haze from the tile. Change this water frequently and fully rinse the sponge each time you go to use it over the tile. Once again, squeeze ALL water from the sponge before putting it on the tile.

Summary: Water is your enemy when grouting. If you put too much water on the grout when finishing the joints, you’ll dilute the cement paste and the grout will be weak. It will crack and crumble in time. After two hours, take an old towel and buff the tile to remove any grout haze from the ceramic tile. Congratulations, you did it! You grouted ceramic tile!

How to grout wall tile

San Francisco–based firm Studio Revolution lined a bathroom in Fireclay’s Kasbah Trellis tile. Photo: Thomas Kuoh Photography

Wondering how to grout tile correctly? It’s a fair question, especially since grouting is a job you have only one chance to get right. Once your tiles are installed in a perfect grid or chevron pattern, it’s time to finish up the job with an application of grout. While it’s certainly not the most luxurious material you’ll use in a renovation, grout plays a big role in the final look of your tiled space. With an array of colors to choose from, grout can be used to add contrast or create a sleek single-shade space.

But before you break out the trowel, you need to be prepared for the task. After all, poorly grouted tile doesn’t just look bad, it is also less stable and more likely to chip or need repairs. So, to make sure you get the job done right the first time, we talked to Dan Chollet, contract and installation lead at Fireclay Tile. Dan has 40 years of experience working with tile and has supervised large installation projects in Silicon Valley and Las Vegas—including the Apple II campus in Cupertino, California. With Dan’s help, we’ve created a comprehensive, step-by-step guide to how to grout tile. Read on and you’ll be ready to grout like a pro.

1. Choose your grout.

There are three main types of grout: cement-based (with or without latex), epoxy, and urethane grouts. “All work, and all have their pluses and minuses,” says Dan.

The most common variety used in projects is a cement-based grout. Dan notes that these are also the easiest to use. If you have small joints between your tile (an eighth of an inch or less), you’ll use a non-sanded grout, while joints larger than an eighth of an inch call for sanded grout.

“Epoxy grouts are expensive, and are usually two-part mixtures with solids and color additives,” Dan says. “They are used mainly for commercial projects, and are much more difficult to install than cement-based grouts, and therefore take more labor.” They can also develop a hard-to-remove haze, and he does not recommend this type for first-time grouters. (He also cautions that some people can also be allergic to epoxies.)

“Urethane grouts are also expensive, and are premixed in buckets,” he says. “You open the bucket, remix it up, and use what you need. Close the bucket back up, and it should be good to use later. You need to use a very dry sponge when cleaning a urethane grout off tile during grouting.” Urethane grout also needs seven days to cure before being exposed to water, so keep that in mind if you’re thinking of using it in your only shower.

2. Gather your tools and supplies for grouting.

According to Dan, you should have these basic tools on hand before beginning to grout:

  • 3 to 4 buckets
  • Margin trowel
  • Rubber grout float
  • Drill and paddle (optional to mix)
  • Closed-cell sponges
  • Clean cloths or cheesecloth
  • Grout sponge
  • Rubber gloves
  • Blue tape
  • Tarp or paper to mix grout on

3. Mix your grout.

When it comes to mixing up your grout, you don’t want to wing it. “Read the manufacturer’s instructions on the bag or box, and follow them,” says Dan. Whatever you do, don’t add too much water. The less water you use, the better the grout’s consistency and strength will turn out.

In addition to using as little water as possible, you also want to mix as much as possible. A thorough mixing will help make sure the color stays true throughout the entire grout.

4. Do a practice run.

Before you start to grout your tile, do a practice run. “You should do a small area first to practice on,” he suggests. “It is always a good idea to make a mock-up. Use a board of around 18 by 18 inches with tile installed, which you can then grout to see what it would look like. I would recommend testing your techniques out on that first.”

Related Articles

Tiles come in many different sizes, and some homeowners like using small mosaic tiles in their decorating schemes. These look especially nice on the walls of large rooms, on backsplashes and in bathrooms, but if you’re planning to install such tiles, you will need to learn the specifics of grouting mosaic tile. These design elements are often sold connected to each other in small sheets, and Family Handyman explains that installing them and grouting them can be challenging, especially because mosaic tiles are often made of glass.

Setting the Tiles

Before setting the tiles, you need a completely flat surface. Use a straightedge to check and if there are dips, flatten them with a layer of joint compound. If you are working on a wall that will get wet (like a shower), use thinset instead, and once it hardens, you can start setting the tile. Remove any backing from the tile sheets that extends out; otherwise, it will get caught in the grout.

Glass or thin mosaic tile that is not painted on the back will need a layer of thinset; apply this with the flat side of a notched trowel. This will prevent air pockets and ridges from showing through the tile and will also keep the thinset from squishing out between the spaces. You will also have to cut some of the tiles to fit along the edges and other spots.

Before cutting, put on a mask, safety glasses and safety gloves. Keep a thin scrap of plywood beneath the mosaic tile pieces as you cut them on a tile saw, adjusting the depth as needed. After cutting, check for any paper, plastic or mesh backing on the mosaic tile. Trim this off as well.

Grouting Mosaic Tile

MSI recommends unsanded grout for mosaic tile since the grout lines are smaller. Sanded grout is stronger and is more appropriate for large tiles. Besides that, sanded grout can scratch glass tile. MSI also suggests latex or silicone-based grout if the tile is being used for a backsplash.

In addition to the grout, you will need two buckets, painters’ tape, a putty knife, sponges, soft cloths, a grout float, silicone caulk and grout sealer. Mix the grout with a putty knife in one bucket until the grout has a consistency like peanut butter. Use the grout float to spread the grout over the tile at a 45-degree upward angle and press it in firmly between the tiles.

Wait 15 minutes and fill another bucket with warm water. Dip in the sponge, squeeze out the excess water and wipe away the excess grout. Keep rinsing out the sponge as you work until there is no grout film left on the tiles. Let it dry overnight and then give it a good once-over with a clean, soft cloth to remove any remaining residue. Then, you can seal the grout and caulk in any spots that need it.

Grouting Mosaic Art

Mosaic artwork can be breathtaking, and Mosaic Art Supply states that artists can use the same kinds of grouts and sealers that are used for ordinary tiling. Choose a tile mastic glue or a silicone product that works well on nonporous surfaces. You can attach the pieces and use mosaic grout on wood and other rigid surfaces, like glass, ceramic or metal.

Total Mosaic explains that after you lay out your design the way you want it to look, get your supplies together and get started. Work in sections, applying the glue and laying down the pieces. Once that part is finished, you can follow the directions for grouting mosaic tile on a wall.

You will also need to sponge off the excess and wipe it clean. If you are not sure about the type of grout to use on your artwork, test a little bit on a tile that you will not be using. Allow it to dry and then rinse and dry it well. Finally, examine it for any scratches.

Fill the joints between your new tiles with fresh grout in four easy steps.

How to grout wall tile

Maybe I’m the only person (at least over the age of three) who gets a kick out of making a mess, but I would still argue that grouting is the best part of a tiling job—and not just because you get to smear mud all over everything.

Grouting tile is when everything starts to come together. Your project stops looking like a collection of individual tiles and starts looking like a finished floor (or wall or counter). The mess isn’t a sign of a job done poorly but, rather, par for the course!

This part of a tile project can be DIYed with ease if you’ve brushed up on how to tile grout and if you begin with the right materials for your tile surface. We’re here to guide you on both.

Traditionally, there are two different types of grout: “sanded” and “non-sanded” varieties. The former is durable and often used in flooring applications, while the latter is best suited for wall tile with joints less than ⅛-inch wide. For the purposes of this tutorial on grouting tile, we’re talking about the mix-it-yourself sanded grout.

How to grout wall tile

Before You Begin

Prep the project in full before you begin. With tile, you’ll start in one of two places:

  • If you have an existing tile surface that needs re-grouting, you will first need to remove the old grout compound before you follow these simple steps on how to grout tile. A grout saw (like this hand tool on Amazon) or grout removal bit for a rotary tool (like this highly rated bit available on Amazon) are both good options.
  • If you’re tiling a new surface, make sure all tiles are fully set and spaced as you’d like before grouting.

How to Grout Tile

How to grout wall tile

Photo: Kit Stansley

STEP 1: Mix your package of grout with water in a bucket.

When mixing grout, you’ll want to follow the manufacturer’s instructions, of course. But here’s what I do to achieve just the right consistency: Pour only three-quarters of the recommended amount of water in the bucket and then add the grout. Once mixed, then add the remaining water until it looks like a waffle batter—something like this.

I find that working in smaller batches and hand mixing with a putty knife or stirrer stick is best, but you could also use a grout mixer attachment for your drill to speed the process along.

How to grout wall tile

Photo: Kit Stansley

STEP 2: Use a grout float to press the grout into the space between tiles.

First, move the grout float—a specially designed smoothing tool that features a flat and mostly-firm rubber pad—across the spaces at a diagonal to make sure the grout line is filled.

How to grout wall tile

Photo: Kit Stansley

Then do a second swipe over the top to clean off the lumps.

Don’t let leftover grout mar your bathroom renovation. Clear up the cloudiness that comes with newly regrouted tile in just four steps.

How to grout wall tile

If you notice a cloudiness suddenly appear across your tiled surfaces only days after a bathroom renovation, it’s probably not a thick layer of soap scum that has accumulated in the very short time its been in use. More likely, this was left over from the day the tile was put in. Oh, you don’t remember planning this detail into your design scheme? Well, that’s because it’s often an unintentional one—and it won’t appear until a few days after you’ve installed your grout.

Grout haze is a byproduct of tile installation, during which the entire surface gets covered with grout. When the excess has not been properly cleared from the tile surface, what little that remains will eventually dry out, leaving behind a dull white film of just minerals.

Unlike dirt and grime that coats your bathroom floor from everyday use, this discoloration is not quite so simple to wipe up. Sure, some new grout haze can be removed with a damp towel; other instances, though, may be stubborn enough to require special products. Your best means of cleanup depends on the type of grout and tile you’ve used. So, refresh yourself on your renovation materials, then follow our guide on how to remove grout haze to clear up the cloudiness as quickly as possible.

How to Remove Grout Haze

You have four main tools at your disposal to get the job done. The methods ahead outline how to remove grout haze using:

  • water and cheesecloth,
  • a rubber grout float,
  • diluted vinegar (on porcelain or ceramic tile only) and a nylon scrub pad,
  • and a commercial grout haze remover.

Before you start removing grout haze…

  • Allow grout to harden fully. Make sure your tile surface is completely dry before you attempt to remove any haze. This typically takes about 24 hours. Consult your installation professional—or, if you DIY-ed it, your grout’s packaging—for the exact amount of time.
  • But do not wait more than 10 days to remove grout haze. If you do, harsher, full-strength removers may be required.
  • Determine if your grout is epoxy-based or not. This type of grout is designed for maximum strength and stain-repellence, so the haze that forms will be harder to remove. You’ll likely require a commercial cleaning product (see Method 4). Contact the grout manufacturer if you have any questions about what type of cleaner would be best.
  • Determine the material of your tile. This will also influence what type of cleaner you can use. Smooth ceramic and porcelain tiles can be exposed to acidic cleaners like vinegar, but porous stone and slate tiles should not. This makes haze removal a bit more difficult, but not impossible. You’ll have the best luck using a special cleaner.

How to grout wall tile

METHOD 1: Remove grout haze with water and cheesecloth.

Protect your hands with rubber gloves, and dip your cheesecloth (or terry cloth) in water. Wring thoroughly, as too much water can damage grout. Then, wipe tile surface with the damp cheesecloth/towel. This method will help “reactivate” the grout haze, lifting it off the surface.

METHOD 2: If the damp cloth fails to lift the grout haze, break out the rubber grout float.

Homeowners who installed grout themselves can reach into their toolbag once more: The rubber grout float used for pushing grout into cracks between tile can come in handy when wiping away haze, too. Like a specialized squeegee (view on Amazon), it features a flat and mostly-firm rubber pad at the end of a paddle-shaped handle. Pull the edge of the float towards you across the tile surface, and its soft edge should drag those stuck-on grout minerals without scratching the tile or gouging the fresh grout. Repeat until all the haze is removed.

Go over the surface again with a damp tiling sponge (a larger, denser version of what you’d normally use on dishes).

Buff entire area with cheesecloth or terry cloth. Finally, check your work: Shine a flashlight on the tile surface to see if any dull, streaky residue remains. If you have yet to remove all the grout haze, continue to Method 3.

METHOD 3: In some cases, you can enlist vinegar.

If your tile is porcelain or ceramic, try a vinegar solution to remove grout haze. (With slate or stone, this is a no-no! Its acidity—which comes in handy when cutting through grease and mineral deposits—can damage these porous surfaces. Skip to Method 4.) Mix 1-part white vinegar to 4-parts water in a bucket or large spray bottle. Additional vinegar can be added for extra strength.

Depending on the surface area you must cover, use a mop or soft nylon pad. Clean the area with pure water following the vinegar-water solution.

If this doesn’t remove all the haze, you can move on to a commercial cleaner.

How to grout wall tile

METHOD 4: Choose and use the right commercial product.

First, keep these two things in mind before you choose a product:

  • If your grout is epoxy-based, pick up a product designed to handle its more stubborn grout haze (view on Amazon). Heck, even if your grout was not epoxy-based, you may benefit from enlisting a commercial product to help remove grout haze that won’t budge.
  • If your tile is slate or stone, always choose a product specially formulated for those surfaces.

Whenever using a chemical cleaner, cover your face with a protective mask and wear rubber gloves. Read and follow the directions of your chosen product carefully. You may wish to dilute the product with water (50/50) before applying it to your tile surface: Spray the tile surface lightly with water, then apply your commercial cleaner. Leave for several minutes.

Use a nylon scrub pad to swirl the cleaner over the surface and loosen the grout haze. Lift the excess cleaner with a mop, then rinse the surface with clean water. Dry off with a soft towel or terry cloth and double-check your job with a flashlight.

How to grout wall tile

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Travertine is a natural limestone-based stone that has been used for thousands of years as a building material, beginning with the ancient Greeks and Romans. It is one of the most expensive types of natural stone available and can be used in many applications, from exterior blocks and tiles used to line columns and skyscrapers to interior floor or wall covering. The grout method used to fill the gaps between stones is the same for walls as it is for floors.

Fill the bucket with water and use the sponge to clean the surface of the travertine. Dampen the sponge and lightly pull it over the surface of the travertine to clean any dirt or debris that might have collected. Allow at least 24 hours for the travertine to dry before sealing.

Coat the surface of the travertine installation with a layer of your preferred sealer to protect the natural stone from absorbing the coloring within the grout when you apply it and to keep the stone from sucking the moisture out of the concrete-based grout. Follow the manufacturer’s instructions when deciding how many coats you should apply and how long you need to allow the sealer to dry before grouting the installation.

Mix the grout according to the instructions provided by the manufacturer, or use a pre-mixed grout. After the grout is ready for application, use the grout float to push the grout into the joints between the pieces of travertine, but avoid spreading the grout over the face of the travertine if you are dealing with natural, unfilled travertine that has natural holes. Work your way from the bottom up.

Allow the grout to set up within the joints for at least 15 or 20 minutes before cleaning it. Fill the bucket with clean water and use a damp sponge to lightly smooth the surface of the grout between the tiles. Use circular motions and rinse the sponge out regularly.

Rough wash the entire surface of the travertine installation using the sponge and bucket of water, then replace the used water with fresh water. Dampen the sponge and gently pull the sponge diagonally across the joints to remove the final layer of grout film from the surface of the stone.

Allow the grout to dry a minimum of 72 hours and apply a final coat of sealer according to the manufacturer’s instructions.

A fresher-looking bathroom or kitchen is just one easy DIY project away.

While the tiles you choose for a floor, shower, or accent wall might be the first design element to catch your eye in any space, the color, width, and type of grout used between them impacts the entire finished aesthetic. “In general, grouting is one of the easier steps in the tile installation process,” says Luke Crownover, product expert at The Tile Shop. “If you’re looking for a place to start your journey learning the tiling process and want to save some money while you’re doing it, grouting is a great way to go.”

Choosing Cement or Epoxy Grout

Cement grout—a choice that has been popular for decades—works for almost any application, from wide-set entryway tiles to intricate mosaic backsplashes, but does require a sealer after installation, says Erica Puccio, chief brand officer at TileBar. Meanwhile, newer epoxy grout, which doesn’t require sealing, is a combination of two products (a base and activator) and is extremely durable—a pro for commercial installers and homeowners, alike. “It absorbs water, is chemically resistant, and has double the strength of traditional cement grouts—all this, and it doesn’t wear down over time,” says Puccio. “The one con is that application has to be done quickly due to the chemical reaction that takes place. This usually means that a professional should be hired for the job.” (Furan, an even more chemically-resistant grout, holds up best against harsh chemicals and grease, but the installation almost always requires a professional, says Puccio.)

Sanded Versus Unsanded Cement Grout

Before deciding on a cement grout, consider the space you’re working with—is it inside or outside, a floor or a backsplash, a wet shower or a dry fireplace surrounding?—and the width of your grout joints. “The most important thing for anyone choosing their grout is to understand their project and make sure the grout they are selecting is specified for that type of project,” says Crownover. “Some grouts can be used in all grout joint widths, while others are formulated specifically for thin—usually 1/8-inch or less—or thick—usually 1/8-inch or more—joints.” Cement-based grouts also come in two versions, sanded or unsanded. The addition of coarse sand in grouts labeled “sanded” leaves a rough finish that works best on wider joints, like those on floors, while the fine sand in “unsanded” options provides a smoother result most often used on walls, says Crownover.

The Tools and Materials You’ll Need

The main tool used to apply grout is a grout float, a rectangular hand tool that you’ll use to spread the grout into the joints. Plan to mix your grout in a bucket with a margin trowel or beater bar, and have plenty of sponges and clean water nearby to clean the grout off the tiles before it dries. “Most of these are fairly inexpensive, so buying them for your project is best,” says Crownover.

How to Grout Tiles

Using tile spacers when you lay your tiles allows you to create precise joints in even widths—Crownover recommends 1/8-inch or larger joint widths on floors to help absorb the pressure of foot traffic, but decorative wall applications can show off any size joint. “The larger the grout joint, the more the grout will stand out, and the smaller they are, the more seamless the look will be,” he says. “When it is time to grout, your tiles will already be set, and the adhesive used will be dried and cured, so the tiles won’t be moving at all.”

Mix the grout according to the recommendations for your specific brand. “There usually aren’t exact ratios of powder to liquid when mixing,” says Crownover. “Most recommendations on mixing grout are to look for a particular consistency—some say peanut butter or toothpaste to give a reference.” When you apply the grout, focus on packing it into the joints, preventing air pockets that could cause it to crack later. “Don’t just smear it across the entire surface of the tile,” says Crownover. “Only grout in small areas at a time so you can wipe up the excess grout haze before it dries on the surface of the tile.” After applying your grout, it will need time to dry (usually about 24 hours, says Puccio), but it also needs to cure before sealing, which can take three weeks or longer. “One of my favorite and least favorite parts of installing tile is the grouting process. It’s my least favorite because it can be a mess and during the process it can look like you’ve made your tiles look worse,” says Crownover. “But as you clean up the excess haze you start to see what the finished product is going to look like. That’s my favorite part—it really takes your project across the finish line!”

How to grout wall tile

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  • How to Grout Natural Stone Tile

When it comes to grouting the borders of an installation, whether you are talking about bullnose running along the baseboards of a floor, or the edges of a tile backsplash, the overall principles are the same. Although you grout a backsplash in a similar fashion to any other type of tile or natural stone installation, there are a few things you can do to simplify the process and help speed it along so you end up with perfect-looking edges.

Apply painter’s tape around the entire perimeter of the backsplash edges where they terminate against a countertop, cabinet or open wall. This protects wood or painted walls from grout discoloring the paint, stucco or wallpaper, and protects these surfaces from water damage while you are washing off the grout.

Mix the grout according to the directions provided by the manufacturer, or use a pre-mixed grout for the easiest application. Dip the tip of the grout float into the container of grout and scoop out some grout. Apply this to the joints between the tiles of the backsplash, as well as into the joint between the edges of the tiles on the end of the backsplash where it terminates against a countertop, cabinet or the open wall and tape.

Use the float to scrape excess grout from the surface and edges. Allow the grout to set up in the joints for at least 15 to 20 minutes. Check it to see if it is ready by lightly touching your finger to the surface of a joint. If it sticks, give the grout more time. If it doesn’t stick, you are good to go.

Fill a bucket with cold water. Do not use warm water as this causes the grout to harden abnormally fast, which can cause cracking. Dampen the sponge and use it to lightly smooth the joints between tiles, and clean excess from the face of the tiles on the backsplash. Use circular motions and frequently rinse out your sponge.

Use the L-shaped outside tip/corner of the margin trowel to cut off the outside edges and inside corners of the grout lines cleanly. Do this at the inside corners where the backsplash meets the countertop, the underside of the cabinets, and the outside edge where the grout is filling the slight void behind the edge of the tile and the wall against the tape.

Wash the entire surface with a sponge and water, paying attention to the inside joints and outside edges against the tape to ensure the joints are smooth. Apply pressure — but not too much or you will pull out the grout. Work diagonally with the face joints, and with the joints along the edges and inside corners. After you have finished washing, gently pull away the tape to finish the grouting process.

How to install a toilet paper holder

How to install a toilet paper holder

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  • What Is the Minimum Amount of Space Needed for a Toilet?

Your bathroom remodel includes many details, and where to mount the toilet paper holder is one of them. Do you put it just anywhere? The National Kitchen and Bath Association studies bathroom ergonomics and flow and provides standard measurements that work best not only for the placement of your toilet, sink and bath, but for your toilet paper holder as well.

Height Placement

According to the NKBA, a wall-mounted toilet paper holder works best if installed 26 inches above the floor, on center. “On center” means that the center of the holder, as opposed to the bottom or top of it, is 26 inches above the floor. This installation height works well with standard as well as comfort height, or handicapped, toilets.

Distance From Toilet

The other important measurement is that it should be placed eight to 12 inches, on center, from the toilet to the facing wall. Measure from the very front of the toilet bowl. To optimize this measurement, consider the average height of household members and place it eight to 10 inches from the front of the bowl for shorter users and households with kids; place it 10 to 12 inches in front of the bowl for households consisting of taller members.

Final Option

If you are unable to permanently wall mount or cabinet mount a dispenser within these optimal measurements, consider a free-standing dispenser.

How to deal with vaginal dryness

By Sarah E. | Updated: Jun 18, 2020

How to deal with vaginal dryness

Common and uncomfortable, vaginal dryness and itching is one of the most frequent menopausal symptoms that women report. Alongside hot flashes, night sweats, and irregular periods, vaginal dryness is one of the major symptoms of menopause.

If your vaginal dryness is causing pain, itching, discomfort, or lowering the quality of the sex that you have, then you should consult a doctor. A doctor can offer your advice that is specific to what you are experiencing, and prescribe you estrogen replacement that can be applied to the vagina. If you choose not to take hormones, over the counter moisturizers and lubricants are available. General lifestyle changes and eating a healthy diet can also help.

How to deal with vaginal dryness

Foods to Boost Vaginal Health

Your diet plays a role in vaginal health. However, not much research has been done that shows the connection between diet and vaginal health and dryness. However, many women have reported that consuming more soy and flaxseed, which are rich in phytoestrogens, have helped combat vaginal dryness and other menopausal symptoms.

Phytoestrogens are plant compounds that act like estrogen in the human body. This can have a wide range of effects, including diminishing menopausal side effects like vaginal dryness. Phytoestrogens work by disrupting the endocrine system, which produces hormones. Because they act like estrogen, phytoestrogens may help relieve menopausal symptoms. However, more research continues to be done to understand the full range of effects phytoestrogens have on hormones and human health.

Easing Vaginal Dryness and Itching

There are a variety of things you can look towards for dealing with this problem. These include:

Lubricants

Many women rely on using lubricant before penetrative sex in old to create natural moisture and reduce friction. Lubricant is not absorbed into the vagina and is usually used just before sex.

Using natural lubricants, such as olive oil and coconut oil, are becoming trendy and are also safe to use. However, these oils can be difficult to clean up, and any oil-based lubricant should not be used with a condom, because they are prone to break condoms.

Usually water-based lubricants are recommended to women because they do not cause condoms to break. Oil-based lubricants are also known to increase the chances of getting a vaginal infection. Both types of lubricants are available over-the-counter at drugs stores.

Although you should not force yourself to have sex or have sex if it is painful, sexual intercourse boosts blood flow to the vagina. This increased blood flow is good for the vagina and can increase how much natural moisture it produces.

Additional Information

Vaginas naturally clean themselves. This means that adding soaps and other bath products to the mix, especially if they are scented, can increase your risk for infections and disturb the vagina’s natural pH level. An itchy and uncomfortable vagina are signs of an infection, such as a yeast infection, so if symptoms persist it is important to see a doctor. Click here for more information about treatments for vaginal dryness and itching.

How to deal with vaginal dryness

One of the most common complaints of older women is vaginal dryness. This normally occurs during menopause, and is actually more prevalent after the completion of menopause. It is not only older women who suffer from vaginal dryness, it can affect women of all ages. While this may seem like an minor irritation, for women who are suffering from dry vaginal syndrome, the lack of lubrication can have a devastating effect on their sexual life.

Causes of Dry Vaginal Syndrome

The vaginal walls are normally lined with a thin layer of lubrication. Along with this naturally protective layer of moisture, the female hormone estrogen is also responsible for maintaining the health of the vaginal walls. When estrogen production slows down, or decrease the walls can become less elastic and thinner. Moisture levels will also decline resulting in vaginal atrophy. Along with menopause, other conditions that can cause hormonal levels to drop can include,

  • Childbirth and breastfeeding. Both of these can result in hormonal imbalances, as a woman’s body begins to adjust estrogen and progesterone levels.
  • Radiation and chemotherapy can also result in dry vaginal syndrome as hormonal levels are disrupted by both the disease and the treatment.
  • Surgically removing the ovaries will cause estrogen production to dramatically decline.
  • Disorders of the immune system and even excess alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking can all cause vaginal dryness.

Certain medications and a condition known as Sjogren’s syndrome are other, less common causes. Sjogren’s syndrome is when the healthy tissue in your body is attacked by your autoimmune system. One of the symptoms is vaginal dryness. Using feminine hygiene products that contain harsh chemicals and heavy perfumes can also upset the delicate ph balance in your vagina resulting in dryness and even irritation.

Symptoms of Dry Vagina Syndrome

Along with vaginal dryness, women can also experience itching or burning on or around the vaginal opening. Other symptoms can include soreness and light bleeding during intercourse, along with the urge to urinate frequently. Frequent urinary tract infections are also common symptoms associated with dry vagina syndrome.

Treatments for Dry Vagina Syndrome

The most effective treatment for vaginal dryness includes estrogen therapy. The most common form of therapy is the use of a topical estrogen cream or ointment. The estrogen can easily enter into your bloodstream through the vagina, and it is often a lower and more controlled dosage. Other pluses to using a topical estrogen ointment include reducing the risk of developing urinary tract infections and vaginal estrogen cream will not interfere with a woman’s production of testosterone. This male hormone is important for maintaining a healthy sex life.

Other common types of estrogen therapy include either an estrogen tablet which is inserted into the vaginal opening or using a vaginal estrogen ring which releases a low and continual dose of estrogen for three months. There are also treatments that can be done at home to help relieve the discomfort and irritation of dry vagina syndrome.

  • Over the counter lotions and lubricants can help to relieve the symptoms of vaginal dryness. They are available in a wide array of different scents and sensations, making it easy to find one that both you and your partner can enjoy. A water based lubricant works best, without causing any irritation.
  • It is not uncommon for women to experience vaginal dryness due to lack of sexual desire. This can be easily corrected by spending more time on sexual foreplay. In most instances, it takes a woman longer to fully become sexually aroused than a man. Spending more time making sure you are sexually stimulated can help prevent any problems with vaginal dryness.
  • Avoiding feminine hygiene products and bath soaps that are scented or contain irritating chemicals can help prevent vaginal dryness and can also help to prevent certain bacterial infections from developing. Hand lotions, vinegar and yogurt should never be used to treat vaginal dryness, and can even make the condition worse.

While dry vagina syndrome can affect women of all ages, it does not have to mean that your sex life needs to suffer. With proper treatment and avoiding products that contain harmful irritants, it is possible to keep your vaginal area healthy and well lubricated. If the dryness worsens or is accompanied by pain, a health care professional should be consulted.

Last Updated: March 30, 2021 References Approved

This article was medically reviewed by Lacy Windham, MD. Dr. Windham is a board certified Obstetrician & Gynecologist in Tennessee. She attended medical school at the University of Tennessee Health Science Center in Memphis and completed her residency at the Eastern Virginia Medical School in 2010, where she was awarded the Most Outstanding Resident in Maternal Fetal Medicine, Most Outstanding Resident in Oncology, and Most Outstanding Resident Overall.

There are 17 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

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Experts say that vaginal dryness is a common condition that typically causes soreness and itching around your vagina, pain or discomfort during sex, frequent urination, and possible recurring urinary tract infections (UTIs). [1] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source Research suggests that vaginal dryness can occur at any age, but you’re more likely to experience it once you go into menopause. [2] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School’s Educational Site for the Public Go to source Fortunately, you may be able to relieve your vaginal dryness using home treatments or prescriptions from your doctor. Talk to your doctor to make sure you’re using the right treatment for your needs.

In this Article

  • Remedies and Treatments for Vaginal Dryness
  • When to See a Doctor

Vaginal dryness is a common problem that many women experience at some point. Most often, women experience vaginal dryness after menopause when levels of estrogen are lower, but it can happen at any age.

This condition is quite uncomfortable and can cause your vagina to feel dry, to feel itchy, or to burn, which can be painful during sexual intercourse. You may also feel the need to urinate more than usual, or you may also have recurring urinary tract infections (UTIs). Vaginal dryness can also cause some discomfort when you urinate.

Besides menopause, there are several other contributors to vaginal dryness, such as:

  • Breastfeeding
  • Certain medications, like antidepressants or oral contraceptives
  • Chemotherapy
  • Hysterectomies

The medical name for vaginal dryness for postmenopausal women is vaginal atrophy. Vaginal atrophy can have a negative impact on your sex life since it can cause intercourse to be painful or uncomfortable. You may not feel as satisfied or willing to participate in sex, and your partner may be affected too.

Remedies and Treatments for Vaginal Dryness

Without treatment, vaginal dryness usually worsens over time. You can try these home remedies for vaginal dryness that may help relieve your symptoms and discomfort:

Vaginal Moisturizers

One of the best ways to reduce vaginal dryness is to use a vaginal moisturizer. These are special moisturizers that are designed specifically for this sensitive area of the body. Using a vaginal moisturizer every few days can help keep your vagina moist and relieve vaginal dryness symptoms.

You can apply the moisturizer a few times a week before bed. Apply it around the walls of the vagina to let it absorb. Don’t try to use a moisturizer or cream that is not specifically for the vagina. Similarly, you should avoid scented soaps, moisturizers, or other toiletries.

Water-Based Lubricants

Before sexual activity, apply a water-based lubricant in your vagina and on your partner where there will be contact. Using a lubricant can help to relieve any pain or discomfort you might normally experience during sex, since you are giving this area moisture.

Be sure to choose a lubricant that doesn’t contain petroleum jelly or glycerin. Glycerin can cause your vagina to become even more irritated, and petroleum jelly can cause condoms to weaken or break during sex.

Continued

Regular Sexual Activity

Having sexual stimulation on a consistent basis can help improve your overall vaginal health. You can do this either alone or with a partner, or even using a device like a vibrator. Sexual stimulation helps increase blood flow and vaginal secretions and relieves vaginal dryness.

If you’re having sex with a partner, try engaging in foreplay before intercourse. This can make you feel more aroused so that sex is more enjoyable and comfortable. This can also help to promote blood flow and secretions to the vagina.

New Approach to Sex

While sexual activity is good for your vaginal health, rethink the way that you approach it. As mentioned, foreplay can be very helpful in getting ready for intercourse. Once you begin intercourse, take it slow. This helps to give the Bartholin’s glands time to produce more natural lubrication in your vagina.

You can also try other sexual activities that don’t involve intercourse but still let you be intimate with your partner. Activities like massaging, mutual masturbation, oral sex, or simply touching can be fulfilling. These activities are typically more comfortable if your vaginal dryness symptoms are especially bothersome.

Continued

Pelvic Floor Exercises

Pelvic floor exercises can help to strengthen weak vaginal muscles. With lower levels of estrogen, vaginal muscles weaken over time. Exercises like Kegels can help to relax tight muscles and strengthen weaker ones. These exercises also help to increase blood flow to the vagina.

When to See a Doctor

If you’ve tried these remedies for vaginal dryness and are still experiencing discomfort, you should make an appointment with your doctor. Your doctor can talk to you about other treatment options that can help.

Your doctor may recommend a local estrogen to help with vaginal atrophy. This is estrogen that you insert directly into the vagina. Some forms are:

  • Vaginal ring
  • Vaginal gel
  • Vaginal cream
  • Vaginal tablet

Your doctor can talk with you about all of your options and help you pick the right one for you.

Another common remedy for vaginal dryness that your doctor may recommend is osphena (ospemifene). This is a pill that you take once a day to reduce the symptoms of vaginal dryness. It is recommended for women who have moderate to severe symptoms. Osphena isn’t suitable for those who’ve had breast cancer or are at a high risk for breast cancer.

Sources

El Camino Health: “Treating Vaginal Dryness.”

The North American Menopause Society: “Vaginal Dryness.”

Mayo Clinic: “Vaginal atrophy.”

National Health Service: “Vaginal dryness.”

Women’s Health Concern: “Vaginal dryness.”

Is your vaginal dryness ruining your physical relationship? Well, if you are suffering from this issue, you know how it can make intercourse a highly painful and hardly enjoyable affair. Besides, it vaginal dryness can lead to a number of other moderate to severe health problems including urinary tract infections. While there are expensive medications to treat vaginal dryness effectively, you can also opt for simple natural remedies to get rid of it. Taking proper preventive measures can also help keep vaginal dryness at bay. So, if spending thousands of bucks for treating vaginal dryness sound too much to you, go through this article and cure it naturally.

What Is Vaginal Dryness?

When your vagina does not produce enough lubrication or when the lining of the vagina (vaginal tissue) starts thinning, you experience dryness in the vagina. It is medically termed as ‘vaginal atrophy’ or ‘Atrophic Vaginitis’, which is typically accompanied by a parched and itchy sensation in the vagina along with pain during intercourse. This mostly happens due to a drop in the estrogen levels in the body, which changes women both physiologically and psychologically.

It is believed that vaginal dryness occurs only in menopausal or postmenopausal women. We generally consider it ’embarrassing’ and not like to talk about it when it happens at younger ages. But experts say that it is one of the most common issues that can affect women at any age.

There are several prescription medicines (both hormonal and non-hormonal) available for this condition, which include creams, inserts, and tablets. But before heading that way, there are also many home remedies that you can try for vaginal dryness.

The vaginal lubricant is produced in the cervical glands and vagina. But it is mostly found in the bloodstream and it is a fluid rich in sodium, calcium, potassium and amino acids.

Also Read – Hello, Dry-Skinned Beauties! Nivea Soft Light Moisturizer Review Is Here Here

Causes Of Vaginal Dryness

Several factors are responsible for affected vaginal lubrication and the hormonal condition of the woman is the most important one among them. Estrogen hormone produced in our body is known to maintain the health of our vagina by keeping its tissue and lining lubricated as well as protecting the organ from infections. Therefore, anything that lowers the production of estrogen in our body can dry up the vagina. Let us take a look at different causes of vaginal dryness.

  • Menopause reduces the levels of estrogen in our body significantly, thereby thinning out the vaginal wall and damaging its superficial layer of cells that provides lubrication.
  • Oral contraceptive pills or spermicides that control the amount of estrogen in our body can cause vaginal dryness by putting the vulva and the vagina in the menopausal stage.
  • Chemotherapy, other radiation therapy, hormonal treatments, etc. can lead to dryness in the vagina.
  • Stress and anxiety put together can curb your body’s natural sexual responses which is responsible for the lubrication of the vagina.
  • Not providing enough hydration or nutrition to the body for producing sufficient lubrication.
  • Certain habits like frequent douching, washing the vaginal area with fragrant soaps, smoking, etc. can affect the lubricating capacity of the vagina.
  • Candidiasis, STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), etc. can lead to a dry vagina.

Also Read – Best Natural Home Remedies For Piles To Keep You Healthy And Worry-Free Here

Symptoms Of Vaginal Dryness

Your routine life can get disrupted by vaginal dryness. But knowing its symptoms beforehand will help you deal with the issue more effectively. Some common symptoms of vaginal dryness include burning sensation, itchiness, low or no sexual desire, painful intercourse, painful urination, frequent urination, lost bladder control, abnormal discharge, non-menstrual bleeding, insomnia, and so on.

Natural Remedies For Vaginal Dryness

Now, here are the most effective remedies that can help you treat a dry vagina naturally.

A Good Diet

Eat more food rich in proteins and essential fatty acids (sunflower seeds, fish, sesame seeds). Ingredients packed with isoflavones (celery, flax seeds, soybeans, tofu, etc.) will also help in regulating your estrogen levels successfully.

Enough Hydration

We need to drink lots of water to fight against our dry skin. The vaginal lining is also nothing but a thin layer of skin. Therefore, you should drink plenty of water daily and stay hydrated in order to ensure that your vaginal lining can produce optimum lubrication.

Also Read – Everything You Need To Know About Bottled Water. It’s Shocking! Here

Coconut Oil

This is one of the safest remedies for curing vaginal dryness. Take a spoonful of edible virgin coconut oil and apply it all over your vaginal area. Massaging your vagina with coconut oil will not only keep it lubricated but also help in improving its elasticity.

How to deal with vaginal dryness

Olive Oil

Just like coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil is regarded as another safe remedy for vaginal dryness. Being rich in vitamin E, this oil can be used for massaging vagina for increased lubrication without any worries.

Fenugreek Seeds / Fennel Seeds

Soak a teaspoonful of fenugreek seeds or fennel seeds in water overnight and drink the infusion the following morning. The estrogen-like effects produced by them will help in increasing the vaginal lubrication.

Also Read – 20 Home Remedies To Beat Menstrual Problems Naturally! Here

Preventive Measures To Avoid Vaginal Dryness

If you want to prevent vaginal dryness from occurring further, follow these preventive measures religiously.

Switch To Milder Products

If you are using a harsh soap or body wash to clean your vaginal area, then it is time to stop it. Switch to milder personal care products or vaginal washes to wash your intimate areas as they will clean without drying out the skin and maintain the right pH balance too.

Avoid Douching

Douching can lead to excessive dryness in the vagina and can be one of the underlying causes of vaginal soreness. Avoid douching completely to see a significant change in your lubrication levels.

Try Water-Based Lubes

Make sure that you use water-based or organic (free from glycerin, petrolatum, etc.) lubes in order to get relief from your dry genital issues.

However, if the dryness in the vagina makes you ‘extremely uncomfortable’, consult a specialist immediately.

Also Read – Different Causes And Effective Home Remedies For Sensitive Teeth Here

Too many women suffer from vaginal dryness silently—but it’s a highly fixable issue.

How to deal with vaginal dryness

How to deal with vaginal dryness

How to deal with vaginal dryness

Even the most healthy, satisfying sex life can be knocked off course by vaginal dryness, whether it’s temporary or long-lasting. Lack of lubrication—and the vaginal itching, burning, irritation, and painful sex that often follow—can happen for a variety of reasons and at various life stages.

It’s a particular problem after menopause, but breastfeeding, chemotherapy, and radiation can each result in cellular damage and low estrogen levels, which in turn sabotage the ability of vaginal tissue to stay lubricated and elastic. And some medications (antihistamines and decongestants, for example) can have a negative impact as well.

Too many women, though, suffer silently, not realizing that this is a highly fixable issue. And doctors often don’t broach the topic or aren’t familiar with treatment options. So let me help with answers to some common questions.

My doctor suggested I try a vaginal lubricant. How do you use these, and which one is best?

Lubricants are used at the time of intercourse to reduce friction. I recommend silicone types: They’re more slippery and last much longer than water-based ones (so you don’t need to use as much) and don’t irritate the area. While water-based lubricants are less expensive, many are gloppy and sticky, and they may contain a propylene glycol preservative, which can be irritating. Apply the lubricant on your partner and on the opening of your vagina before intercourse.

What are vaginal moisturizers, and how are they different?

How to deal with vaginal dryness

Lubricants don’t alter vaginal tissues; they just make them more slippery. A long-acting over-the-counter moisturizer, on the other hand, increases the water content of the cells, making vaginal tissues thicker, more elastic, and better able to produce lubrication. They need to be used two to five times a week and should be inserted in the vagina and applied around the vaginal opening. Two with proven clinical results: polycarbophil gel (Replens Long-Lasting Vaginal Moisturizer) and hyaluronic acid vaginal gel (Hyalofemme).

What about vaginal estrogens?

Sometimes a woman’s vaginal walls are so thin and dry that a prescription medication is needed. One option: local vaginal estrogens. Before you think, Oh, no, estrogens! Breast cancer, blood clots, bad stuff. , know that there are no proven safety issues with these products. There are three types: vaginal creams (inserted and spread on outer areas), vaginal tablets (inserted twice weekly), and vaginal rings (which last three months).

Are there treatments for women who want to avoid estrogen?

One option is ospemifene, a daily pill—taken orally, not vaginally!—that activates estrogen receptors in vaginal tissue to alleviate painful intercourse in post-menopausal women. The FDA recently approved a daily vaginal suppository, prasterone, or DHEA, which also works inside vaginal cells to increase lubrication and elasticity. And finally, many doctors now offer FDA-cleared medical CO2 laser treatments in their offices, to stimulate and regenerate vaginal and vulvar cells. These treatments should be performed only by a gynecologist, not by a plastic surgeon or dermatologist.

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Vaginal dryness is a common symptom during and after menopause, but it can happen at any age and for various reasons.

Vaginal dryness usually results from low estrogen levels. Estrogen is the hormone that keeps the lining of the vagina lubricated, thick, and elastic.

Vaginal dryness is a common problem, but many people do not seek help, as they may not realize it is a health issue for which they can get help.

It can lead to pain during intercourse, contributing to a loss of sexual desire. It can also cause discomfort during sports and other physical activity, and increase the risk of vaginal infections.

Several treatments are available to relieve the symptoms of vaginal dryness.

How to deal with vaginal dryness

Vaginal dryness usually results from a drop in estrogen levels. Estrogen levels begin to decrease as menopause approaches.

The ovaries produce estrogen, and estrogen controls the development of female body characteristics, such as breasts and body shape. It also plays a key role in the menstrual cycle and pregnancy.

Estrogen helps keep the tissues lining the vagina thick, moisturized, and healthy. As levels decline, the lining becomes thinner, drier, and less elastic. These changes are known as vaginal atrophy.

Estrogen levels can drop for various reasons including:

  • menopause
  • surgical removal of the ovaries (which can trigger menopause)
  • childbirth and breastfeeding
  • treatments for cancer, including chemotherapy and radiation
  • anti-estrogen drugs for treating breast cancer or endometriosis

Other causes of vaginal dryness can include:

  • Sjögren’s syndrome, an autoimmune disorder that involves inflammation of the salivary and tear glands.
  • Using antihistamines, which help manage cold and allergy symptoms by drying secretions. Side effects can include vaginal dryness and trouble urinating.
  • Antidepressants, which sometimes have sexual side effects such as vaginal dryness, decreased libido, and difficulty having an orgasm.
  • Stress and anxiety, which can affect libido and vaginal lubrication.
  • Reduced blood supply to the vagina.
  • Flammer syndrome, in which blood vessels react in an unusual way to stimuli such as cold and stress.

Females who smoke may experience menopause earlier than those who do not, and so vaginal dryness may occur at an earlier age in this group.

People with vaginal atrophy and vaginal dryness may experience :

  • vaginal itching
  • burning
  • irritation
  • pain during sex
  • discomfort during physical activity
  • a higher risk of vaginal infections and urinary tract infections

If the dryness is due to a fall in estrogen levels, they may also have:

  • lower levels of natural vaginal secretions
  • a tightening of the vaginal opening
  • a narrowing of the vagina

Together, these changes are known as dyspareunia. They can lead to pain during penetrative sex.

Vaginal dryness is a health issue that affects many people. A doctor can suggest treatment to help resolve the discomfort it can cause.

People should seek medical advice if they experience the following symptoms or other signs of change in their vaginal health:

  • burning
  • itching
  • dryness
  • intercourse pain
  • irritation

The doctor will likely:

  • ask about vaginal and other symptoms
  • ask about menstrual changes
  • do a pelvic examination
  • in some cases, take a swab for a lab test

No single test can diagnose vaginal atrophy and vaginal dryness. A doctor will usually base the diagnosis on the symptoms.

It might feel embarrassing and uncomfortable to discuss such personal details, but doctors are used to having these types of conversations. Seeking help is the first step toward managing symptoms.

Various treatment options are available for vaginal dryness. Some are available over-the-counter, while others need a prescription.

Topical estrogen cream

One option is topical estrogen therapy, a medication in the form of a cream or ointment that a person can apply directly to the vaginal area to relieve symptoms.

A person using a topical cream will absorb less estrogen compared with taking estrogen as a pill. As a result, the risk of adverse effects is relatively low.

Examples of topical estrogen therapies include:

  • Vaginal ring (Estring). The person inserts a flexible ring into the vagina where it continually releases low amounts of estrogen into the tissues. The person should replace the ring every 90 days.
  • Vaginal cream (Estrace, Premarin). People can use an applicator to apply the cream into the vagina. Research shows that estrogen cream is an effective and well-tolerated treatment for vaginal atrophy and dryness, compared with a placebo.
  • Vaginal tablet (Vagifem). The person will use an applicator to place a tablet into the vagina.

There is limited research into the long-term effects of topical estrogen, but these are more likely to be safe compared with oral hormone replacement therapy.

Females who have a history of breast cancer, who are or may be pregnant, or who are breastfeeding should talk to their doctor about the safety of topical estrogen therapy. The doctor may recommend non-hormonal treatments instead.

Over-the-counter treatments

Over-the-counter treatments may help with vaginal dryness.

For example, a person can use lubricants at the time of intercourse to increase moisture. Water-based lubricants may be preferable to oil-based lubricants, as oil-based ones can lead to irritation and condom breakage.

A person can also use vaginal moisturizers every 1 to 2 days to help maintain the vagina’s natural moisture. They are available for purchase online.

In this Article

  • Causes
  • Diagnosis
  • Medication
  • Other Products

Normally, the walls of the vagina stay lubricated with a thin layer of clear fluid. The hormone estrogenВ helps maintain that fluid and keeps the lining of yourВ vagina healthy, thick, and elastic.

A drop in estrogen levels reduces the amount of moisture available. ItВ can happen at any age from a number of different causes.

It may seem like a minor irritation. But the lack of vaginal moisture can have a huge impact on your sex life. Fortunately, several treatments are available to relieve vaginal dryness.

Causes

Vaginal dryness isВ common symptom of menopause — and close to one out of every three women deals with it while going through “the change.” It becomes even more common afterward. It also makes the vagina thinner and less elastic. This is called vaginal atrophy.

Estrogen levels can also drop because of:

  • Childbirth and breastfeeding
  • Radiation or chemotherapy treatment for cancer
  • Surgical removal of the ovaries
  • Anti-estrogen medications used to treat uterine fibroids or endometriosis

Continued

Other causes of vaginal dryness include:

  • SjГ¶gren’s syndrome (an autoimmune disorder that attacks cells in the body that produce moisture)
  • Allergy and cold medications
  • Certain antidepressants
  • Douching
  • Not enough foreplay before sex

No matter what the cause, vaginal dryness can be extremely uncomfortable. It can lead to itching, burning, and painful intercourse.

Diagnosis

Any burning, itching, or discomfort in the area is worth a call to your doctor or gynecologist. They’ll ask about your past healthВ and find out how long you’ve had symptoms and what seems to make them worse or better.

Your doctor will do a pelvic exam, checking your vagina for any thinning or redness. The exam will help rule out other possible causes for your discomfort, including a vaginal or urinary tract infection. The doctor may also remove cells from your vaginal wall or cervixВ forВ a Pap test.

Medication

The most common treatment for vaginal dryness due to low estrogen levels is topical estrogen therapy. These replaceВ some of the hormone your body is no longer making. That helps relieve vaginal symptoms, but it doesn’t put as much estrogen in your bloodstream as the hormone therapy you take in pills.

Continued

Most women use one of three types of vaginal estrogen:

  • Ring (Estring):В You or your doctor inserts this soft, flexible ring into your vagina where it releases a steady stream of estrogen directly to the tissues. The ring is replaced every 3 months.
  • Tablet (Vagifem):В You use a disposable applicator to putВ a tablet into your vagina once a day for the first two weeks of treatment. Then you do it twice a week until you no longer need it.
  • Cream (Estrace, Premarin):В You use an applicator to get the cream into your vagina. You’ll typically apply the cream daily for 1 to 2 weeks, then cut backВ to one to three times a week as directed by your doctor.

Any estrogen product can have side effects, such as vaginal bleeding and breast pain. Topical estrogen may not be recommended when you:

  • Have breast cancer, especially if you’re taking an aromatase inhibitor
  • Have a history of endometrial cancer
  • HaveВ vaginal bleeding but don’t know why
  • AreВ pregnant or breastfeeding

There isn’t much research on the long-term use of topical estrogen, but doctors believe it’s safe.

Other Products

You can buyВ a vaginal moisturizer like glycerin-min oil-polycarbophil (Replens) at your local drugstore or supermarket.

A drug taken orally An oral drug taken once a day,В ospemifemeВ (Osphena), makes vaginal tissue thicker and less fragile, resulting in less pain for women during sex. The FDA warns that Osphena can thicken the endometrium (the lining of the uterus) and raise the risk ofВ strokeВ andВ blood clots.

Take your time before having sex to make sure that you’re fully relaxed and aroused.В ApplyВ a water-based lubricant (Astroglide, K-Y) to help enjoy intercourse more.

Avoid using douches, bubble baths, scented soaps, and lotions around the sensitive vaginal area. These products can worsen dryness.

Sources

Kendall, A. Dowsett, M. Folkerd, E. and Smith, I. Annals of Oncology. Published online Jan. 27, 2006.

Nothnagle, M. Scott Taylor, J. American Family Physician, 2004; vol 69: pp 2111-2112.

MedlinePlus: “Estrogen Vaginal.”

Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality: “Management of menopause-related symptoms.”