By: Sara Ipatenco
18 December, 2018
Kissing is a form of affection, and many children kiss others because they want to show their love.
Children enjoy being kissed because it means that someone cares about them.
While kissing parents, grandparents, siblings and other family members is usually socially acceptable, you probably don’t want your child kissing his friends and peers. Don’t panic if your child was caught kissing another child, but do take steps to teach him that there’s a time and a place for kissing.
Children of all ages see adults kissing one another and most children also receive kisses from parents and other adults. That sends the message that kissing is acceptable and that it’s something people do to show love. It’s no wonder then that many children pucker up and kiss a friend on the playground.
In almost all cases involving little children, that kiss is innocent and is simply a way for a child to show how much he cares for his friend, according to the Women’s and Children Health Network. If your child has been caught kissing another child, it’s probably not something to worry about too much, but it does warrant a conversation with him. He needs to know, especially as he reaches adolescence, that social customs restrict certain kissing behaviors.
Dangers of Kissing
At What Age Do Kids Stop Believing in the Tooth Fairy?
Kids harbor germs. When they kiss one another, they’re sharing those germs.
That could transfer a cold or other virus back and forth, but it can also lead to more serious illness. According to KidsHealth, many children are exposed to the Epstein-Barr virus, which causes mild flu-like symptoms in young children, but can develop into mononucleosis, or mono, in older children. Mono causes headache, sore muscles, skin rash and abdominal pain, and these symptoms can linger for two to four weeks, but can last even longer for some teens. When your child kisses another child, she’s also at risk of catching other viruses, such as those that cause cold sores or fever, according to KidsHealth.
Additional Kissing Concerns
For young children, a kiss on the cheek or even the lips is all there is to the episode.
Most little children don’t connect kissing with sexuality; they simply see it as a way to tell a friend how much they care. A conversation with adolescents and teenagers is a must if you discover they’ve been kissing other children. At this age, children begin to go through puberty and also start showing an interest in the opposite sex. Children this age also know the facts about sex, so they can be more likely to give it a try.
Because kissing can lead to other sexual acts, it’s essential to speak with your child about what’s acceptable in your family and what’s not.
For example, you might think a quick peck on the lips is acceptable for your child to share with a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but other types of kissing are not. Tell your child your expectations so you’re on the same page when it comes to kissing.
Tips and Considerations
What are Anger Management Techniques for Children Ages 5-8?
If your child is in preschool or early elementary school, a simple conversation about who she’s allowed to kiss is often sufficient. Don’t make your child think she’s in trouble because then she’s likely to view kissing as something bad. Remind your child that kissing is reserved for family members and that she should hug her friends or give them high fives instead. Older children and teens want to experiment so it’ll likely take more conversations to get your message across. Adolescents and teens are more likely to engage in kissing and other sexual behaviors if their friends dare them to or if they feel that everyone is doing it, notes John T. Chirban, author of “How to Talk with Your Kids about Sex.”
Let your child know that if she feels uncomfortable with kissing and other sexual behaviors to come and talk to you. She needs that support to stand her ground. If your child of any age tells you that someone kissed her or that someone made her kiss him when she didn’t want to, reassure your child that she didn’t do anything wrong and find out who was involved so you can dig deeper to get the issue resolved.
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need more help? For more help on how to improve your kissability, the best book is The Art of Kissing. Read it before he does!
how to get boys to kiss you There are three things you must do if you want boys to kiss you: dress right, smile and act friendly, and flirt. If you do these things, he’ll feel an unconscious desire to kiss you! Here’s an example of how to get a guy to kiss you from the movie Bounce, starring Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow. Notice that she’s dressed right (Well, you can’t see all of her clothes in this shot, but take our word for it — she is), and her hair is in a nice ponytail. The only problem is she wasn’t smiling too much or flirting just before this kiss. It was almost like the Ben Affleck character felt sorry for her. You can see she still has a rather serious expression on her face as she’s being kissed. To improve your chances of being kissed by the boy of your dreams, practice your smile and try to be in an upbeat, playful mood. Guys like girls who are fun to be with. Of course there are exceptions, and some rather artistic and intense guys like girls who are gothic, moody and nihilistic. If this is the type of guy you’re after, then adjust your style to fit his. You might want to start carrying around a copy of his favorite book with you, just so that when you meet him you can pretend you’re reading it. (This brilliant idea was sent in by Cindy from Spokane, a 15-year-old who said it worked to help her get to kiss her current boyfriend who was really into Harry Potter.) (Photo copyright 2000 by Miramax Films)
How to flirt Flirting involves saying nice things, teasing gently, or doing anything that shows your interest in someone. You can practice flirting by saying something cute to a store clerk, the mailman, or your bus driver — whoever! Just tell him he’s wearing a nice tie or that you like his shirt, or say anything nice that will make him smile. By practicing flirting you’ll develop flirting confidence. Then when you see your secret crush, you can try a little flirting with him.
What can go wrong when i try to get a guy to kiss me? What can go wrong is that he might think you’re being too pushy or aggressive. But so what? If you don’t try something, nothing’s going to happen, so you really have nothing to lose. Besides, if you smile and act friendly and flirt just a little, he probably won’t think you’re too aggressive because you’re doing it just a little bit.
What if i’m shy? If you’re shy, practice flirting to get over your shyness. If you’re very shy because you inherited shyness (for example if your parents are also shy) then seek psychotherapy or counseling from your high school counselor. You can even practice flirting with your therapist or counselor.
Dealing with puppy love, first kisses and questions about boyfriends or girlfriends? Here’s help.
Lisa Kadane February 13, 2017
One night last spring, as I was tucking my seven-year-old daughter in at bedtime, she started telling me about a boy in her class who liked her.
“He told me he wants to go on a date with me,” she said, smiling.
“Uh-huh,” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant.
“And that he wants to kiss me at sunset!” she exclaimed, dissolving into giggles.
How do you feel about him?” I asked after she’d recovered, remembering my own first crush in grade one, and the games of kiss-tag my girlfriends and I initiated with far-less-interested boys during recess in grade three.
“He’s OK,” she said. “But I think we’re too young to be kissing.”
Well, thank goodness! I thought, feeling rattled and totally unprepared for talking about crushes with my little girl. Over the next couple weeks, conversations with other parents revealed that who-likes-whom in the classroom had suddenly become important.
“It’s a normal phase of development,” says Allison Bates, a registered clinical counsellor who practises in Burnaby and Coquitlam, BC. Her son, age six, has just started asking about relationships and saying things like, “Mom, who’s my girlfriend again?”
“Between ages six and eight, our kids start to think about their classmates in a different way, maybe liking a boy or thinking he’s kind of cute,” Bates explains.
This developmental shift, says Calgary parenting coach Julie Freedman Smith, coincides with an awareness of the social conventions around privacy and their bodies—kids this age will start requesting to change in the gender-appropriate dressing room after swim lessons, for example. “They learn that there’s some kind of a ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ around nudity and sexuality,” Freedman Smith says. “This is a time when you’re more likely to walk in on two kids behind closed doors playing doctor.”
Also influencing first crushes are the fairy-tale messages children receive from books and movies, such as stories about a princess and her prince. “It’s the idea that you fall in love with someone,” says Freedman Smith, whose nine-year-old son has been crushing on girls since he was in grade one.
Kids this age are also just doing something they’ve been doing since birth: copying their parents. “They start to mimic relationships that people around them have,” says Bates. “They start to ask questions like, ‘How did you and Dad meet?’”
It can be a challenge for parents to react appropriately. “You still see them as your little babies,” she says. For that reason, it’s important to have a plan. “This is the beginning of talking about relationships. Parents should be calm about it, because you’ve got to keep that door of communication open.” Bates says parents shouldn’t laugh it off, or tell their kids they’re too young to be interested in the opposite sex. If they start to feel embarrassed, they might not be honest with you in the future.
Instead, be curious and ask questions: “Why do you like that boy?” or “What interests you about him? Is he funny? Is he really good at soccer?” she suggests. Focus on what they value about their crush. This will help kids see the importance of their own inner qualities.
Freedman Smith says it’s a delicate balance between validating the child’s feelings while not putting too much attention on the crush. “The feelings are real, even though the relationships aren’t adult relationships,” she says. “I think we still need to honour and respect our kids.”
A version of this article appeared in our December 2012 with the headline “First crush,” p. 74.
pc63135875 over a year ago
jamiem123112663 over a year ago
nelie31742 over a year ago
No, this is not bad. This is just the current stage of your reproductive system and this will change during next few years because you are entering in to the part of your life that is called puberty. Also you have to know few things about your body. You might not be able to produce semen yet because you are not sexually mature. Also do not masturbate too often because you should focus your time on other things. Try to play some sport and spend more energy in that field and you will see that you won’t be thinking about this at all. I hope this helped you a little bit.
All the best,
mitch over a year ago
June Jones235897 over a year ago
Yes_Mabey291581 over a year ago
I am also 14 male i studied this subject for 3 months.i have come acrossed many reasons but the most frequent awnser i saw in all my research is if you frequently masterbate it is clear this is why. The more you masterbate the less sperm your testicals have left, less prem enjaculated= lighter color more semen enjaculated darker the color. this is normal in young men.A averge 14 year old male produces 80,000,000 million sperm cells per day,an average enjaculation has anywhere of 240,000,000 sperm cells in it to 800,000,000 per enjaculation.Hope this helped need more awnsers just ask!
thatfrancoguy295459 over a year ago
I used to be like that but now im 13 (almost 14) and my sperm is cloudy don’t worry
Mac man343955 over a year ago
No I’m 13 and I used to have this same thing it just comes with time and having a small penis could be another prob
Guest over a year ago
Guest over a year ago
largest pannier over a year ago
you are just starting to make the stuff. it will get thicker as you get older. just wait a bit.
Guest over a year ago
Guest over a year ago
Guest over a year ago
You363837 over a year ago
My semen don’t have a color now like a thicky water is this bad or I just don’t have nutrients now?
So, you’ve been going out for a while now. You’re really feeling this guy and you can tell there’s a mutual attraction. The vibes. my God, the vibes. He drops you off at your door, smiles that little smile, says he had a great time and leaves. No kiss. Ugh!
Is it your breath? Do you have a cold sore? Well. why won’t he kiss you?
It all depends upon the makeup of your guy. Some men are dorky and geeky — shy, awkward little devils. They can be so shy, in fact, that they have to be lured in to kissing you, while others are macho and bold and will kiss you on the first date.
You could have a shy soul who wants to kiss you, but is awkward in the skills department. Not to worry, there are always ways to get a guy to kiss you. But before we begin, make sure your lips are kissable. There is nothing as uninviting as cracked, crusty lips. And make certain you’re not wearing bright red lipstick. While it may be fashion-forward, he doesn’t necessarily want to drown his lips in it.
So, here we go. Find out how to get a guy to kiss you using the following methods:
1. Light Touches.
Touch him throughout your conversation. Don’t place your hand on his knee and start rubbing it. That is so obvious. But, do touch him ever so slightly now and then on his arm or touch his hands from time to time. Create a warm, cozy intimate atmosphere for the two of you.
Lean in and smile. However, not just any kind of smile. We’re talking about a “come hither” smile; the kind that subtly invites a man in with your mouth and eyes in synchronicity. Do not, repeat DO NOT start batting your eyes like windshield wipers. While your mouth curls ever so slightly, your eyes speak volumes like, “I want to feel those soft, puffy little pillows on mine.” Sounds corny, I know. but it works.
3. The “Old Stare Trick.”
Hold your head to the side in rapt attention and stare straight at his lips. Then, go back to his eyes. Don’t go overboard on this, like some desperate lech. Just do it naturally. Unless this guy is an intergalactic space alien, he’ll know what you’re doing and why.
4. Work it into a conversation.
Ask him what he likes about you. He’ll say blah, blah, blah, whatever he likes about you. When he asks what you like about him, tell him his lips and how soft they look. Say it with the warmest of smiles. First of all, he’ll be flattered and next he’ll probably blush and hopefully let you test that out.
5. “I’m so cold.”
Still no kiss? Then try the old stand-by — you are just so cold. Rub your arms up and down as though you have shivers, which should prompt him to either wrap his arms around you or offer you his jacket, if he’s wearing one. If he does neither, move closer to him while still rubbing your arms.
6. Take initiative.
Finally, if this guy still hasn’t kissed you, turn the tables and kiss him. Don’t jump on top of him and devour him like some blood-starved vampiress. Just lean in quietly and give him a nice short smooch. Draw back and keep talking, as though kissing him was the most natural thing to do at that time.
Children who live for hugging and kissing need to be shown good boundaries by parents, while being given tools to express affection appropriately.
Before children can talk, they understand affection through touch. They are soothed by being held. They smile at a kiss, or a finger stroked across their cheek. They cling to their parents for comfort. But, as they grow old enough to communicate affection with words, many kids continue to show affection physically — or demand it. Often these open displays of physical affection can make adults feel uncomfortable or put children that don’t understand boundaries in danger. Fortunately, there are ways for parents to help kids understand that they are loved and also that they can’t hug everyone all the time.
“Kids don’t know anything. Parents have to teach them and mold them and be role models,” explains Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio, family therapist and author of Simple Habits of Exceptional (But Not Perfect) Parents. Dolan-Del Vecchio notes that some families find modeling appropriate boundaries harder than others. After all, many parents fail to respect their child’s own physical boundary, much less the physical boundaries between husband and wife. “Parents should have a sense of their own reasonable boundaries with each other, with other adults and with their kids. Because if they don’t their kids going to do whatever they do.”
Dolan-Del Vecchio explains that parents should be generous with their boundaries when a child is pre-verbal. After all holding and being held is what gives a baby or toddler a sense of reassurance. But as they develop stronger language skills, parents can begin to use simple language to help enforce appropriate physical boundaries.
These lessons can come in a variety of forms. If a child is all over their classmates at pre-school, it’s okay for parents to encourage a friend hug only at the start of the day and the end of class. Or if they are hanging on family friends or relatives, it’s fine to encourage a child to ask before clinging and kissing. But it’s also important that the kid understands that the problem is not with the affection, but rather with not asking permission.
How to Deal with an Overly Affectionate Child
- Model good personal boundaries as well as physical boundaries with partners, friends, and other family members.
- Don’t react to boundary violations with anger.
- Remind children that it’s important to ask before hugging and kissing anyone, that it’s about respect.
- Be vigilant in teaching stranger danger and helping kids understand where and how they can be touched, as well as who to talk to if they are touched inappropriately.
“The one thing you don’t want to do is to make your child feel that being close and sharing affection with other people is not a good thing,” says Dolan-Del Vecchio. “You have to strike a balance. We have a society where there is too little contact. If we can help our kids to have stronger interpersonal connections that’s very important.”
The best tactic when a kid breaches a person’s boundaries is to show some good humor. This isn’t a time for yelling or shaming. It’s better for parents to pull a child back and remind them that they need to ask how another person would like to be greeted. But the same can be done for people who are greeting an overly affectionate child. It’s not inappropriate for a parent to ask a family member or friend to ask a child for a hug prior to scooping them up in their arms.
“You’re teaching them in a way that doesn’t feel punitive, but just feels like physically imposing a more appropriate boundary,” Dolan-Del Vecchio explains. “You want to give that boundary in a firm way and teach them it’s about respect for the other person.”
But it’s also important for parents of overly affectionate children to double down on stranger-danger awareness, particularly if they are often affectionate to strangers. Dolan-Del Vecchio notes that kids need to be taught the appropriate, anatomical words for their genitals and should be encouraged, regularly, to talk to parents if they are ever touched on their genitals by a stranger.
That said, parents should stress out too much about an overly affectionate child. “Most kids will grow out of that sort of behavior,” he explains. “I wouldn’t get overly alarmed about it.”
The embattled 19-year-old TikTok star Zoe LaVerne is back online, and she’s already causing more controversy.
LaVerne, who has more than 17.5 million TikTok followers, was seen commenting on posts from the 13-year-old fan she appeared to kiss in a video.
LaVerne announced on November 2 on a private account that she would check herself “into a hospital” after leaked videos appeared to show her kissing a 13-year-old fan. Before she stopped posting, LaVerne apologized for kissing and for “catching feelings” for the 13-year-old, who goes by Connor Joyce on TikTok, where he has over 400,000 followers.
LaVerne also denied that she had raped Connor or that she was grooming him. “Grooming” refers to building “a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person” in order to “manipulate, exploit and abuse them,” according to the UK’s National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
Though LaVerne said she had stopped talking to Connor, she joined Connor’s live Instagram broadcast on Sunday from her verified account and commented “Hi connor.. i miss you” and “I hope you’re doing well. Miss you lots!”
A post shared by First Ever Tiktok Shaderoom (@tiktokroom) on Nov 8, 2020 at 12:42pm PST Nov 8, 2020 at 12:42pm PST
Connor didn’t respond to LaVerne, but he deactivated his Instagram account the day after screenshots of LaVerne’s comments circulated on TikTok gossip pages.
LaVerne also posted a TikTok on Monday with the Coldplay song “Yellow,” which has lyrics about being so devoted to someone that you would do anything for them. In the video, which LaVerne captioned “My happiness and two of them are gone,” she included two pictures of herself with Connor.
my happiness and two of them are gone 💛🦋😞
LaVerne has said that she and Connor were never in a relationship. LaVerne also said she told Connor’s mother about their kiss, writing that “she wasn’t happy obviously but she understood that we are both teenagers and that feelings can be caught.”
LaVerne’s mother has defended the kissing video. “Anybody can reach over and kiss somebody. They’re best friends,” her mother said.
But LaVerne’s former best friend Amber Van Pelt described the interactions between LaVerne and Connor as “pedophilia,” writing in leaked direct messages with LaVerne’s ex-boyfriend Cody Orlove that she “left because of her interactions with” Connor.
“They got very intense and it’s something I do not stand by what so ever,” Van Pelt said. “It’s pedophilia.”
Other TikTokers have criticized LaVerne, with one top comment suggesting she leave TikTok permanently and “check herself into jail.” A rumor that LaVerne had been arrested was shared widely after a prank news site posted the false claim, but LaVerne has not been arrested or charged.
The ABC Family drama The Fosters made television history Monday night for featuring the youngest ever dramatized gay kiss, as characters Jude and Connor, both 13, locked lips after some awkward flirting.
Watch the scene below:
The show’s creator, Peter Paige, (Queer as Folk,) tweeted his excitement at the scene immediately following the broadcast:
Anyone else remember the exquisite torture of falling for someone and not knowing how they felt? My life in jr. high. #FostersSocialHour
If this #Jonnor kiss is stressing you out, I’d like to know how old you were when you had your first kiss? #FostersSocialHour
Set in a mixed family environment, The Fosters are a diverse group of children, both biological and adopted, whom an interracial lesbian couple cares for, according to the show’s IMDB page.
The show, which premiered in 2013, already pushes the limits in the eyes of some, who have raised questions regarding what constitutes modern family programming.
The watchdog group One Million Moms boycotted the show immediately after it was announced in 2012.
Obviously, ABC has lost their minds… One Million Moms is not sure how the explanation will be given on how the biological children were conceived. None of this material is acceptable content for a family show … Let’s stop this dead in it its tracks.
Co-executive producer Jennifer Lopez previously described the show as portraying “a new kind of family” and believes it is reflective of the world today.
“Family has tuned into something else,” said Lopez. “Family equals love.”
ABC Family, originally founded by controversial pastor Pat Robinson as the Christian Broadcasting Network, was acquired by Disney in 2001. The station generally runs a lineup of mixed family programming, and previously popular syndicated sitcoms, but has faced criticism in the past for branding itself as “family friendly.”
Robertson’s daily faith-based news show The 700 Club is broadcast on the network to this day, and was ironically aired Monday immediately following a rebroadcast of The Fosters.
Robertson has been openly critical of homosexuality for many years.
The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation group has praised The Fosters, and the show won the award for Outstanding Drama Series at the 2014 GLAAD Awards.
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